Chapter 4
Sakura was stunned by Tomoyo's suddenly saying she was sick and running off, but she was covered with soap, so she had to rinse and dry before she could put on her robe and follow Tomoyo back down the hall to her room.
She hesitated before knocking on Tomoyo's door. *Tomoyo said she would see me later. She wants to rest so I should leave her alone. But she is sick! I can't just leave her in there by herself!* "Tomoyo? Are you all right?" she called through the door.
"Yes! I'm just tired. I'll take a short nap and I should be all right. I'll see you in just a little while."
It was clear to Sakura that Tomoyo didn't want her to come in, but she had to do something. *I'll tell her mom. Maybe she can do something for her.* As she turned to go downstairs she nearly ran into another of Tomoyo's bodyguards. She tried and failed to remember the woman's name, so she just blurted out that Tomoyo was feeling sick and didn't want her to go in. "I need to find Sonomi-sama and tell her about Tomoyo!"
"No need. I will pass the word to her. Did you hear what Sakura-san said?" she continued as if speaking to someone else. As Sakura puzzled over this odd behavior she bodyguard spoke again. "Sonomi-sama has been informed of Tomoyo-sama's apparent illness and is on her way up here."
*Of course! They must have two way radios, so they are always in touch with each other.* As Sakura hesitated, trying to make up her mind, what to do, Sonomi showed up. *That was certainly fast! Of course. She is Tomoyo's mother and as worried about her as I am.*
Sonomi hesitated a moment as it came to her what her daughters sickness might be. "Sakura-chan? If you would like to wait down in the television room I will be down shortly to let you know how Tomoyo is. Akira-san? Please show Sakura-chan to the Television room and see that she has any drinks or snacks she wishes."
Sakura didn't like being sent away when Tomoyo was sick. It was like Tomoyo's mom didn't trust her. But, of course she had no choice whatsoever, so she followed the lady in the black suit downstairs.
Once Sakura was gone, Sonomi quietly knocked on her daughter's door and announced herself. Then without waiting for an answer, she went in. She found her daughter with her face buried in a pillow crying softly. As she sat in the chair that Sakura had left by the bed she spoke. "You must love her very very much to be so hurt by her mere presence." When Tomoyo didn't say anything, she continued. "You do love her as much more than a friend, don't you?" And then she waited for her daughter to answer and as always she finally did.
Showing Sonomi her teary face she spoke softly. "Yes. I love her. But she loves Syaoran and he is the right one for her."
"Perhaps that is true, and perhaps it isn't. But isn't it up to Sakura to decide who she loves?"
"But I don't want to confuse her! She's not like me. She's normal and I don't want her to doubt that!"
"I suspect that she already doubts it. She can't help it. She loves you very much. Perhaps as just as a friend, or perhaps as something more, but it is up to her to figure that out. You aren't doing anyone any good by trying to make decisions for her. She needs to decide this for herself."
"It is up to me to tell her how I feel. And no one else! Please do not interfere in this Mother. It is my life not yours. Please!"
Sonomi thought about her answer before speaking. "I will not tell Sakura how you feel about her at this time. That is all I can promise." Then she continued before Tomoyo could protest. "So what should I tell her about your 'sickness'?"
"Tell her I have the flu. I am too sick to have company, so she will have to go home."
"You are really going to keep pushing her away then." Sonomi said with some wonder in her voice. That is a big mistake! I know!"
"I am not you Mother!" Tomoyo said very firmly as she looked her mother in the eye.
*She sounds so mature, and so determined...* Sonomi thought to herself.
"And Sakura isn't Nadeshiko-san. Don't try to use me to fix your own mistakes!" This hit Sonomi where it hurt the most and for a moment she couldn't even speak. Then her face hardened and she stood up.
"Very well. I will send her home. But I will not play the villain. I will tell her that it is you who does not wish to see her." Tomoyo quickly realized that this would indeed be best. She really needed to push Sakura away and make it clear to her that she didn't love her. No matter what the pain. As soon as the door shut behind her mother she went back to crying in her pillow.
*It must be! Sakura must have a perfect happy life. And to do that she needs her magic Prince. I will not risk her happiness for anything! No matter what the pain I have to endure. This is the way it must be!*
But after crying for an hour or so, her pain had eased enough so she could think again. She remembered her Enka attitude and meditated on it for a long time before she finally felt the peace and quiet resignation that it brought. Being with Sakura had shattered her control and brought the pain back. *It seems I can't be close to her. I must not see her ever again! It is the only way I can survive...*