Story: Tomoyo's World -Part 0- Bitter Fate (chapter 4)

Authors: Risa Kaijuu

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Chapter 4

Title: Chapter 3


Chapter 3



As Sakura felt Tomoyo stiffen, she realized what she had been doing. *Oh, I've embarrassed her! I really got carried away. And in public too!* She instantly let go of Tomoyo and pulled back to a proper distance. "I'm sorry, Tomoyo-chan!" she automatically said as she looked down at Tomoyo's face. But Tomoyo looked like she was sick or something. "Tomoyo? Are you all right? Would you like to sit down?"


"No. Thank you. I'm fine." Tomoyo managed to speak as she got some of her control back. "It's wonderful to see you again, Sakura-chan." Her words sounded stiff in her ears but Sakura was too excited to notice. Her mother on the other hand, was watching her carefully and had a good idea as to just why her daughter was so troubled. For a moment she regretted what she had done, but as it was too late now, she could only hope it did more good than harm.


It was okay, Tomoyo told herself, to just look at her love, and remind herself what a beautiful young woman she had grown into. She was almost four inches taller than Tomoyo now, with a trim athletic build unlike Tomoyo's softer and more curvy figure. Her hair wasn't much longer than it had been in grade school, but a little darker and more red. Her beautiful green eyes still sparkled when she smiled and she was smiling a lot now. She was so beautiful she took Tomoyo's breath away.


"Is that the only bag you have Dear?" Sonomi politely asked, interrupting her daughters staring. When Tomoyo tore her gaze away from Sakura she nodded at her mom, made sure her bodyguard had her bag, and followed her mom to the waiting car.


Sakura was right behind her and got into the back of the car before Tomoyo could move over to give her room. So for a second she felt Sakura's body held tightly against her again, and again it took her breath away.


By the time she had given the Cardmistress her half of the seat, Sakura was already chattering excitedly. Poor Tomoyo's situation was so overwhelming, she could hardly think. She had her Sakura-chan right beside her, and clutching her hand as though she might slip away if Sakura didn't hold on tight.


Then suddenly, Sakura said something that registered and caused her to very rudely interrupt Sakura's continuous chatter. "You're staying over tonight?" Tomoyo managed to get out with a strained voice.


"YES! Isn't it wonderful! Your mom invited me and my dad said it would be fine, so I don't have to go home tonight at all. I've got a suitcase in the trunk with everything I need. So we can be together. Just the two of us, like when we were in grade school." Sakura finished with a happy sigh.


Tomoyo was stunned. She had planned to keep her distance from Sakura, so she could more easily maintain her control and not interfere in any way with Sakura's relationship with Syaoran. But as she looked at the girl she loved so much, who was practically bouncing up and down with excitement, she realized there was no way she could tell Sakura that she didn't want her to spend the night. And it was her own mother who had set this trap for her. She glared at the back of Sonomi's head for a moment and then took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. *Oh well, it's too late now to be angry with mom. I know she loves me and means well, but there is no way she could understand my feelings for Sakura. So I must fight this alone. And I can do it! I am much stronger now than I was when I left.* She told herself firmly. *I can now enjoy being with Sakura without making any attempt to be more than just a friend to her.* With this thought Tomoyo relaxed a bit and began actually listening to what Sakura was saying.


She was talking about when she went to the zoo with Syaoran. *She must have forgotten she told me all about that trip in an email last week. But of course that doesn't matter a bit. I would rather listen to her chatter about nothing than listen to the finest music in the world.*


XXX



"Perhaps you would like to go up to your room and rest a while dear?" Sonomi asked her daughter as they came into the mansion they lived in. Tomoyo quickly agreed and headed for her room with Sakura close behind her, followed by her bodyguard, Aoi who was carrying both their bags.


After washing her hands and face, Tomoyo realized that she was very tired indeed. *The strain of all this must be worse than I thought.* "Sakura-chan? Do you mind if I lay down while we talk?"


"Go ahead. You still look like you aren't feeling well." Sakura answered as Tomoyo climbed into her bed and stretched out on the lavender silk quilt. Sakura was taken for a moment with how grown up and how very beautiful her Tomoyo-chan looked with her long dark hair fanned out on the pillow contrasting with her ivory skin and deep blue eyes. Then instead of sitting on the soft chair by the wall, she wheeled the desk chair over to Tomoyo's bed, sat as close to her as she could, and took her hand again.


Tomoyo felt the warm glow that came from the tall girls touch and let it drive out all other thoughts and feelings for a while. But then it dawned on her that Sakura had never held her hand so desperately before she had gone away. It seemed that Sakura had in fact missed her as much as she had been saying in her emails, and this worried Tomoyo. *Coming here was a mistake! She is much too attached to me! I can't let myself interfere with her relationship with Syaoran. I really should have made up some excuse to stay at school over Christmas. I should have realized from her emails that her feelings for me were much too strong. Perhaps I shouldn't have answered her emails so promptly... But how could I ignore her?* These thoughts were very painful, but they reminded her of the new attitude she had learned from her Enka singing. *She is not mine. She will never be mine. But I can be her friend. And love her as a friend. She loves Syaoran and will one day marry him. And he will love her and protect her. She will be happy with her Magic Prince. And I will be happy just knowing that she is happy. There is no reason to feel any pain.* She went through her usual mantra and it worked yet again. She felt calm and relaxed at last. Resigned to her sad fate.


It went surprisingly well for a while; almost like being eleven again. Then suddenly she realized that she had agreed to share a bath with Sakura just like they used to. She felt the strain building as they undressed, but with Sakura's innocent chatter, she managed to keep herself under control, until...she found herself washing Sakura's back. The touch of her loves smooth skin sent tingles through her fingers and stirred feelings of passion in her body. Her mantra didn't help with this at all. Her body cried out for Sakura and it would not be stilled. All she could do is bite her lip until the pain cleared her head. *This is impossible! I can't do it! I must get away until I can regain my control!* "I'm sorry but I am feeling very sick. I must lie down. Go ahead and finish your bath. I will see you later." With this excuse she quickly dried her wet hands and practically ran from the wash room. Grabbing her robe, she put it on as she went through the door into the hall. In a matter of seconds she was back in her room with the door closed. *Please Sakura! Please stay away! PLEASE!* she screamed in her mind as she slipped out of her robe and under the covers on her bed. With her head covered by a soft pillow she tried not to think as she shook with her sobs.



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