Past/Future Visions
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I make no claims, or money from this fic. It was written purely for fun.
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It wasn't bad enough that her visions were getting worse, but after Willow's visit and announcement of Buffy's death they had started to invade her dreams as well. Only while they had the feel of her normal visions the things she saw were things that happened in the past. Only at the same time they were things that had never happened at all. And they all centered around Buffy. Most were variations on things that had happened when she still lived in Sunnydale, but as bad as some of those memory/visions were they were nowhere as disturbing as the ones of times that should have been happy. For in those memory/visions Cordy made a disturbing discovery. In those visions she and Buffy were lovers. From the intensity of the these dream they had to be real and since they started when she had learned of Buffy's death, Cordy could only come up with one answer...
And as her latest vision ended Cordelia sat up straight in her bed suddenly understanding. These things she had been seeing were real and had happened. They just hadn’t happened on this world. The similarity between the things she saw in that other world and things that had happened in this world while not exactly the same was still very close. Which meant that the Buffy of that world had most likely been battling her own version of an insane Hell God. And from what Willow had managed to tell them about the Slayer’s last battle with Glory and how she closed the gateway by jumping through it there was every possibility that…
“The one they buried wasn’t our Buffy,” the brunette muttered to herself stunned at the possibilities. Our Buffy could be alive the thought raced through her head giving her conflicting feelings of hope, fear, and as she remembered one of the dream/visions where she and Buffy had been making love, the slightest tingle of anticipation.
“So that it huh?” Cordy had asked scornfully. She had been worried when she had found out from Buffy’s mom about their argument and that Buffy was finally going to have it out with Angelus despite her mother’s ultimatum and so she had soon followed after her knowing that the fight could only take place at Angel’s. She knew that in her current state of mind, the guilt she felt over the things Angelus had done, being kicked out of school and Kendra’s death would all be an even greater enemy then Angelus himself could ever hope to be. So in the hope that if things went wrong she might be able to in some way help this brave young woman she had fallen so deeply in love with she went against her better judgment. She had seen Buffy and Angel together enough to know that the blonde Slayer really did love the vampire, which was why she hadn’t told Buffy her feelings before now. But with the world about to end she knew that she couldn’t keep the secrete much longer. It wouldn’t be fair to her or Buffy.
But then as suddenly as it had been placed in jeopardy the world had been saved. She had watched as Buffy suddenly became resolved and began to turn every attack and put the vampire on the defensive. And just as she was about to end it, her sword raised to behead ‘The Scourge of Europe’ he had changed again. At first Cordy had thought it just a trick to delay his death, but as she looked into his eyes from her hiding place she could almost literally see the soul flow back into his body. But before she could rejoice for her, she saw Buffy sadly glance behind the vampire. It was too late. Cordy remembered Giles telling Buffy that once the jaws of the stone demon began to open only by sending the one who opened it through could the world be saved. Words so soft she couldn’t hear them were exchanged between the lovers and then Angel slowly closed his eyes. And Buffy with tears falling down her face plunged her sword into his stomach. He looked up at her with an expression of confusion, pain, and love. Cordy knew it was that last look that was truly killing the Slayer. But still the blonde did what Cordy knew no other person on earth would have had the guts to do. She sent the man she loved more than her own life to an eternity of torment in Hell.
Again she had quietly followed the Slayer as the sky lightened with the coming dawn as she went to the school and watched her friends gathered out front waiting for her. And she spoke as Buffy turned away with a look of utter despair on her face. She knew from that look that the blonde was planning on leaving and possibly never coming back.
“So that's it huh?” she asked scornfully. It took everything she had not to rush forward and throw her arms around the other girl. “You saved the world and now you’re going to run away.”
“There is nothing for me here.” Buffy replied, seeming not the slightest surprised at finding Cordy behind her. “You saw what happened. My mom doesn’t want me to come home. I let my friends be hurt. Ms. Calendar and Kendra are dead. The police are looking for me. I think it’s time I leave.”
“And what about those of us who’d end up worrying about you?” Cordy asked.
“I just need time to think. It won’t be forever,” She answered.
Cordy looked thoughtful for a moment then, “So where are we going?” she asked.
“We?” Buffy had asked looking a little like the old Buffy.
The memories were in her head as if they were her own only her true memories were there as well. She remembered that that summer just before they had returned to Sunnydale she had told Buffy how she felt for her. She remembered they had made love for the first time in the run down little old hotel that Buffy had insisted they stay in so that Cordy wouldn’t have to use her credit cards, which could be traced. And she remembered many happy times together as the two of them had grown closer over the years.
And somewhere deep in her heart she knew that the Buffy that Giles and the other’s had buried was the same Buffy from these memories that weren’t her own. This was the Powers that Be way of letting her know that her Buffy was alive and well. And when she found her, Cordy wasn’t going to waste any time in telling Buffy that she loved her.
TBC
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