Dear Min,
I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I miss you sooo much. I try to pretend I can forget you if I just give myself enough time. I know that it's a lie. Trying to forget you is like trying to forget life. I replay your image in my mind. I remember the first time I met you. How I couldn't help, but look at you. How you'd catch me looking at you. She just blushed and looked back. I just wanted you to know I still think about you.
Love,
J
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Dear Min,
I smelled your perfume today. I startled me. I was leaving the apartment, when the breeze from the hallway window caught my nose. I could smell your perfume. I both smiled and cried. I found myself looking around for your.
Love,
J
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Dear Min,
I went to court today. It was long and frustrating. It didn't help that I couldn't sleep last night. I don't think I've ever wanted to roll over and hold you so much before. My arms miss holding you. My body craves your warmth and your touch. My lips miss yours. I miss the feel of your hair against my face, when I wake up in the morning. I miss the way you'd tickle me, when I refused to get up. I just thought you should know, what sleep I did get. I got when I moved to your place in our bed.
Love,
J
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Dear Min,
I went to court again today. It was more of the same. Went I came home, I sat in the chair by the window. You know my favorite one. The blue armchair with the cuts, tears, and stains. The one you always demanded I get rid of. I sat down in it to read, like I always do. Somehow, I fell asleep. I swear I woke up to your complaining about "the rickety thing." I will never get rid of it now. So, I'll always have a way to hear your voice.
Love,
J
Dear Min,
Again with court. 16 is the number of D.U.Is the defendant had on his record. All within the last four years! That was all I could make myself stay for. I wound where you are at now. You've been gone for so long. I thought that maybe it was you at the door today. There was a knock. I sprang up, so happy. Then realized what I was doing. It was only letter carrier. I still have your key setting by the door waiting for you to come collect it. The scar on my head, where the key hit me is still there. I don't really want it to go away. With the scar there, ever time I look in the mirror it's like a little bit of you is there.
Love,
J
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Dear Min,
The defendant got Manslaughter. I'm still so pissed. It isn't justice. He was pissed to, but for a different reason. I believe he expressed his anger with the words, " all this trouble for some damn Korean whore." I was about to jump the fence and kill him, when your mother walked up to him, I didn't even know she was there, she looked him in the eyes and said, "She was no whore! She was my daughter, she had a brilliant future, her whole life to live, with a loving and caring companion. Maybe someday she would have even been a mother. Or maybe she would have finished school and helped people as the doctor she always wanted to be. But you, you flawed man, took all that away from her, from me, from her fiancé and from everyone else in her life. You truly are a despicable creature to have killed something so beautiful and have shown no remorse." As she walked away the man collapsed to the floor in tears. I could help, but go after your mother. I hugged her. She might have said she would never accept you as her daughter. I knew she never meant it and never hated me, when she hugged me back. She cried and told me how much she misses you, how badly she wanted to call you the day after it all happened and take it back. I told her you had forgiven her along time ago.
Love,
J
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Dear Min,
Your mother called me the other day and invited me to dinner. We went to that weird Korean restaurant; you were always dragging me to. The server remembered me and brought out my "regular," the spaghetti with the tar-like sauce and the spice sticky things that remind me of grub worms. You always hated that joke, but they really do! Anyway. Your mother came and she even brought your cousin, Katie. She took me aside and said I had been a good influence on you, since I somehow got you to go back to school. She asked if I could try to do the same for Katie. I told her I'd try. Then we talked about you, when we came back to the table. I told them about the fight that lead up to your leaving the house. The fight about my drinking. How you left angry. They both laughed. It seems you've stormed out on them too. However, I doubt you ever threw keys at your mother. I told them about feeling as if I should go after you. How I listened to that feeling. I told them how time slowed down. I told them about the truck leaving the street and going on to the sidewalk, where you were. I told them about how you seemed to know everything in the universe then. How peaceful you were. I also told them about the last things you said. How you forgave your mother and wanted Katie to go back to school because she had too much talent to waste it. I even told them what you told me, if I was a good girl and I sobered up and stayed that way, you would send Ms. Perfect-for-me, Ms. Right my way. Your mother smiled and said it was just like you to put everything off until the last minute. She told me about the embarrassing childhood stories you tried to keep from me. She even showed me baby pictures. We've decided to meet up for lunch monthly.
Love,
J
Dear Min,
It's been five years since the night you were stolen from me. I haven't had a drop since then. I still meet up with your mom. Though, now we meet more frequently. You were her only child. I guess she kind of adopted me. We meet up for Christmas and birthdays. I send her mother's day cards. She's a wonderful woman but I now see where your temper came from. Katie's in India working in a free surgical clinic. Talented is an understatement when it comes to that girl. Now then, there's me. I was sure you'd forgotten all about me. That is until about week ago. There was a knock on the door. I nearly jumped out of my skin and almost dumped the soda in my hand out. I don't get packages and your mother always calls. I got up from my armchair and walked to the door. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a woman as beautiful as you. I didn't think that was possible, but there she was. Just as beautiful. I was speechless, but she wasn't. "Does Min Kim live here?" Her voice was confident, yet angry. I couldn't hold it together. The soda fell from my hand and fizzed out all over the floor. I just looked at her, my mouth ajar. "Does Min Kim live here?" She asked again. Her voice was a lot less confident and this time had no anger in it. I told her the truth, I said. "No...She passed away about five years ago." She immediately went as pale as a ghost and fainted. I brought her into the apartment and sat her on the couch. When she came to I asked what was wrong. She didn't answer, she just reached into her bag and handed me an envelope. I looked at it. In your handwriting, there was your name and our address. It was addressed to Taylor. No address for her, just Taylor. I opened the unsealed envelope and took out the paper. "Find Julia, she's waiting for you." Was all that it said. "I've been getting those things once every two months for the past four and a half years...I've moved seven times trying to get away from them. But they always find me."
I kind of just looked at her before it clicked and I asked what her name was. "Taylor...Taylor Write." We have our first date Friday. Honey, thank you always did know how to make everything Right Write.
Love,
Julia
