Listener
By The Chichi Slaughter House
Warnings: Shoujo-ai/yuri content; i.e. girls loving girls, possibly one-sided, not canon coupling, not very original, first proper try at shoujo ai, SetsunaxKuu. Heavy spoilers!
Disclaimer: Kyoshiro to Towa no Sora is property of Kaishaku and all the other companies that have rights to it; like ADV who licensed it back in June. I’m just a shoujo-ai supporter; I am poor so do not sue.
*pokes fingers together* This is my first shoujo ai fanfiction… Usually I write yaoi or shonen ai, so this is kind of a big step for me. Since this is my first try, it somewhat lacks originality; being part of a scene from the beginning of episode seven. The copy I watched is Ayako’s subs, so the dialogue is going to be the same as there. Needless to say; this contains spoilers. Please give feedback.
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Loneliness dawned on Setsuna as she walked through the nearly uninhabited house where she, Kyoshiro, and now Kuu lived, looking for something to clean or mend to alleviate the feeling of emptiness that had slowly started to engulf her in recent days. Kyoshiro was out; presumably to visit Oogami Jin from the Morality Council about the recent events, and as he had taken his horse with him, there was almost no sound through the entire building.
Despite this, she knew that Kuu was in here somewhere, and, looking for companionship, had gone searching for her upstairs, recalling their shopping trip earlier when the orange-haired girl was looking through letter packs. When they had gotten in, Kuu had run immediately up the stairs with the letter style she had chosen, leaving Setsuna behind to tidy away the items that they had purchased. Not that she minded, of course. She was used to doing things on her own, and was secretly glad that Kuu could still be happy after the incident with Mika earlier.
It was a good feeling to know that the slightly shorter girl hadn’t let the new discovery – well, new to Kuu: she and Kyoshiro had known for a long time – taint or upset her.
Allowing herself a rare smile, the blonde-haired girl walked towards the door of the room in which the other Absolute Angel was residing, lifting her hand to knock on the door when she heard the other’s sweet voice on the other side. Not wanting to overhear or interrupt, she took a step back, becoming very quiet, a little uncomfortable that she felt drawn to listening in on whatever the other girl was saying to herself. The urge, however, was too strong for her to resist and she found herself pressing her ear to the door, trying to force away her guilt even as she eavesdropped.
What she heard made her heart sink.
“If this goes on, he will surely reject me. Because…Ayanokoji-san is…” The smile dropped from the taller girl’s expression and a sadness filled her green eyes. She had already gotten the feeling that Kuu was falling for Kyoshiro since she had first seen them interact, but hearing it was a different matter. The depressed tone of the other girl’s voice made her chest feel tight and pained as she swallowed a lump in her throat. “I am… Ayanokoji-san’s…” Sensing that Kuu’s blue eyes were going to fill with tears, she found herself opening the door and entering the room swiftly, momentarily looking at the colourful mess around the desk where the other Absolute Angel sat; her back to her. “I am… I…”
Unable to just stand there and hear more, Setsuna found herself moving forward, her gentle hands going around the other’s shoulders before wrapping around her chest, Setsuna’s head resting against her left shoulder, eyes staring at the wall. Kuu fell silent, seemingly shocked by the comfort, whilst the blonde’s mind fell into turmoil, berating herself for acting so rashly as she thought quickly for a plausible excuse. When she thought of one, her guilty gaze moved from the wall to peer at Kuu; both guilty for eavesdropping on her and the lie that she was about to tell.
“Kyoshiro told me to do that.” She said quietly; glad that the boy was not there and also that Kuu would never ask him if this was true or not, knowing Kuu did not think that she would lie. Perhaps she did not think that Setsuna was capable of lies.
A silence followed for a few seconds whilst Setsuna tried not to hold tighter to her, savouring the embrace that she so desperately craved from the other girl.
To feel her soft skin. Her warmth.
To run her hands through that long, beautiful hair and curl her fingers in its silky strands.
To bury her face in her neck; smell her scent, hear her high voice and just…hold her, until the end of the world crashed around them and became nothingness.
That was what she desired now; instead of an eternity with Kyoshiro alone, like she had wanted before.
But, in the deepest reaches of her heart, she knew that it was never going to happen. Kuu loved Kyoshiro, and, though Setsuna was denying it, she had noticed that he was slowly falling for her in return.
She was drawn out of her thoughts by a loud sob, and the body in her arms shook before twisting, pushing them both to lie on the bed. Before she could react, Setsuna found herself on her back, arms lying limply on the bed as well, having slipped from the smaller girl’s shoulders at the impact. Kuu clung to her waist tightly, burying her tear-streaked face into Setsuna’s chest; leaving the Angel to lie there helplessly, knowing she could do nothing to help to help at all.
“I…why am I?” the desperate tone in the other’s voice caused Setsuna to start trembling under her, staring off into the room silently. She just didn’t know what to say. “Why am I an Absolute Angel?!” Not even swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, Setsuna remembered how distraught she had been after she had found out her own truth. The sadness and longing for it to be a lie, for it to be a mistake and the empty feeling after she had finally accepted it. “Cruel…this is too cruel.”
Once again, she considered Kuu’s selfishness. Her naïve disposition. The other didn’t realise just how painful the things she was saying were for her. How easily she could remember her own despair.
But it had gotten better. As time had gone on, she had grown used to the idea, and had accepted so joyfully the bells that Kyoshiro had offered her; tying them onto her headdress to show her gratefulness. She had planned to just be his loyal servant; to cook, clean, sew, wash, fight…anything he wanted. And she had done everything he said, every kiss – transfer of mana – between them both bringing them closer and making her start to love him.
Before she was aware of her Absolute Angel status, she had been born and raised as a normal human, and had been taught that two people who were in love kissed, after all. She knew that they were not lovers, Kyoshiro and herself, but she had liked to think to herself that he cared for her very much and would never leave.
She knew that they were still capable of all the things that humans were; perhaps even better at them, and that they also held the same emotions and feelings. Despite what other people though, they were almost the same. Why else would Kuu be weeping so bitterly on her chest right now?
Feeling guilty, her expression softened, her eyes calming as she just lay there. Her guilt stemmed from one thing at this moment; the enjoyment of the touch that Kuu was giving her. She knew that she shouldn’t be enjoying it at all; the feelings behind it were not something to be happy about.
Shame washed over her as she waited for Kuu to finish her tears, unsure whether to wrap her arms around her or to push her away, doing neither. The need to comfort her was very strong, but so was the desire not to show her own feelings.
Though Kuu fretted and cried over a rejection that hadn’t happened yet, Setsuna was depressed and kept it to herself. Kyoshiro had not expressly told the orange-haired girl no; but Kuu’s sadness over him surely meant that she had no chance to win the girl’s heart. And the knowledge of this stung.
It seemed so hopeless…
Eventually, Kuu calmed down and the two of them got up from the bed in silence. To Setsuna, the air felt thick and heavy; the tension and awkwardness between them being something she could hardly bear. The blue-eyed girl stood there, head bowed as she stared at the floor, a few sniffing noises escaping her occasionally.
Stepping over before she could help herself, Setsuna lifted Kuu’s chin with her right arm – the arm of Claíomh Solais – using her left to wipe a remaining tear from the girl’s slightly red cheek. Ignoring the obvious affection in her actions, she brushed a strand of hair out of the blue eyes she loved so much and gave a gentle smile.
“You should bathe, Kuu. It would soothe your skin and make you feel better.” The idea made sense, and she watched the other Absolute Angel nod in agreement. Wanting to stay close to her, Setsuna moved her hands to her shoulders, observing Kuu quietly. If the orange-haired girl took a bath, then she would be able to come too, and gaze upon her beautiful skin and touch it with no consequences. Less than a moment passed before the slightly-shorter girl pulled out of her hold and began to walk to the bathroom alone, leaving Setsuna behind. Confused, Setsuna could not help but follow her. “Let me wash you first.” It was almost a plea, and the blonde was secretly relieved her voice did not sound begging. The answer she received was not one that she wanted to hear.
“Thank you very much, but, I’ll be alright by myself…” Going silent, Setsuna just nodded, recalling the mess that Kuu had made with the paper and scissors earlier, moving hastily to get the hoover and clean up the confetti-like ribbons. Despite knowing that the other girl meant no harm, she felt rejected and unwanted. Bathing her was the only outlet she had for her feelings, and even now, that was being taken from her. With a heavy heart, she easily carried the machine upstairs and into Kuu’s room, plugging it in and began to clear the coloured shreds that reminded her of the girl’s personality and actions; cute and colourful.
Drawing closer to the desk, she took a glance at it, seeing a card with two names in a paper heart and she stopped to look at it properly, turning the hoover off. She walked over and stood next to the chair, looking at the names in the heart quietly. The first was Shiratori Kuu, as was to be expected as it was obviously a card for the person whom she was in love with. Although Setsuna knew this person was Kyoshiro, seeing ‘Ayanokoji-san’ in it made her angry and upset, though it didn’t show on her face. With the other Angel not around, she had a much better grip on herself, keeping her expression impassive as she stared at the card, feeling hatred towards it.
Why!
Why did it have to be Kyoshiro instead of her?!
Gritting her teeth in an unnoticeable way, she thought of ways to destroy it, wanting to pretend it never happened.
An image of Kuu flashed in her mind; the other girl smiling happily, hands near her mouth in a pleasant way. She paused. No matter how much she loved the girl, it didn’t make any difference.
Kuu loved Kyoshiro.
Another image; this time of Kyoshiro holding Kuu close, consoling her out in the rain. Why could he get such an angel as Kuu when all he wanted to do was kill them to avenge the death of his beloved older brother? He truly didn’t deserve her.
But he was going to end up with her anyway.
Feeling bitter, Setsuna raised her arm into the air, summoning the arm of Claíomh Solais. It wasn’t fair. What had he even done to deserve a girl as wonderful and adorable as Kuu? His only intent was to kill her. Eyes narrowing slightly, she brought her arm down hard, before freezing a mere two inches away from the card itself, pausing to think. Kuu would be even sadder than she already was if this card was destroyed, and she would know that the blonde would have done it, possibly hating her for it.
And she didn’t want to be hated by Kuu, or be a cause of her sadness.
Silently, she moved her arm to close the card. She still had to finish cleaning the floor and go back downstairs to greet the other girl after her shower and give her fresh towels. If the card was closed, she assumed it wouldn’t bother her as much. Picking up the hoover again, she sighed.
As long as Kuu was happy, she would be fine.
Even if it meant not being with her.