Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon, or any of its incarnations. That's the domain of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei. It'd be nice if they'd stop hogging the girls for their own nefarious purposes, y'know....
Ikimashou!
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"Part of an Unbalanced Breakfast" - by MadPanda
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Minako couldn't sleep. She anticipated the coming day as if it were Christmas and her birthday together. Refusing to stay in bed any longer, she quickly got dressed and ran to the window, hoping to see the delivery truck. Sure enough, said truck was just pulling up to the curb in front of her apartment building, and the deliveryman stepped out holding what Minako waited for. "Yes!" She whispered, pumping her fist into the air. She looked over to make sure she had not awakened Rei, then ran down to retrieve her package.
In a couple of minutes, a beaming Minako re-entered the apartment and put the box on the living room table. Her smile got even wider when she opened the box and saw what was inside. She then went into the kitchen, took two bowls down from the cupboard, took a container of milk from the refrigerator, and carried her load into the living room. Minako took out the contents of the box--a smaller box wrapped in brown paper, and a DVD--and placed them in the center of the living room table. She then put the bowls on either side of the table, and put the milk next to the brown box....... With everything neatly in place, she went to get the final piece of the puzzle: Rei.
"Nnnn...", Rei groaned in her sleep. "Leeme aloooone..."
"Rei-chan," Minako sang. "Time to get up!"
"Come on, Mina-chan...I'm tired." Rei let out a yawn for emphasis. "I mean, after last night, I need to get some energy back."
Minako thought about their romps from the previous night for a moment, grinned, then shook her head as she had a different kind of appetite that needed satisfying right now. "No, no...it's nothing like that--this time--I have something I have to show you!"
"It can't wait until after breakfast?"
"Nope, 'cause it IS breakfast! Let's go!!" Minako bounced off the bed and skipped into the living room.
"Oh, this had better be good, or she'll be toast!" Rei stopped for a moment, chided herself for the bad pun, and then grabbed a robe and followed her lover out of the bedroom.
The head start was all Minako needed. By the time Rei had entered the living room, Minako had transformed herself into Sailor V. She stood proudly across from the sofa and waited for Rei to make her entrance.
"O-kaaaaay..." Rei drawled. "What's going on? Why are you dressed that way? And why aren't we eating in the kitchen? I already told you, Mina-chan, I'm too tired for--"
"All in good time, Rei-chan!" Minako interrupted. "I've got just the thing for you...now be patient and have a seat." She led the raven-haired beauty over to the sofa and sat her down. Then she picked up the DVD and put it into the player.
"Breakfast and a movie? I'm tired, and now I'm hungry." Rei was losing her patience with the blonde heroine, but she continued to keep it in check. "Can't we just eat already?"
"We will," Minako ran over to Rei, gave her a quick kiss, and hit the 'play' button. "Right after this!"
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"Ah! A busload of happy children on their way to school!" The narrator started, "But what's this?" The scene panned quickly to the right to show a dark figure lurking around a corner. "Oh no! It's the evil Nephrite!"
"Yes! Yes!! Come closer, and let me steal all of your precious energy!! Ha!!" He threw out his arms, and waves of dark energy surrounded the school bus, draining the life energy from the shrieking kids. "Oh no!", they cried. "Help us! Help!"
"Ha ha ha!! Cry all you want! Soon all their energy will be mine! Mine! Haaa-hahaha!" The evil villain's cackling laughter was interrupted by an unseen voice.
"Hold it right there!"
"Hahaha--what the-?" Nephrite stopped mid-cackle to see who had dared to interfere.
A heroic young woman stood atop a nearby supermarket, the sun at her back, painting her in silhouette. "Young children need energy to grow and play and learn. Stealing their energy will keep them from being strong. For that, I cannot forgive you!"
"Look!" one of the kids cheered weakly, "it's Sailor V!"
"Take that!" Sailor V yelled, throwing two small orange crescent moons at Nephrite, knocking him to the ground while jumping off the building to the street below. "Don't worry kids, I've brought something to make you strong again!" Seeming out of nowhere, she pulled out a brightly glowing box with a picture of her plastered on the front, flashing her trademark "V" with one hand, and holing a huge bowl of brightly colored cereal in the other..
"Wow! It's Sailor V Cereal!", one of the kids cried happily!
"That's right, kids," the narrator cut in. "Sailor V Cereal! It's packed with energy! Orange crescents! Strawberry masks! Raspberry bows! Marshmallow V's! It's a powerful part of a balanced breakfast!"
"Here you go, kids! Eat up!" The children ate the cereal straight from the box, as the theme song played in the background:
"Sai-lor V's!
Giving you the power that you need!
Sai-lor V's!
Wholesome goodness, full of energy!
It's healthy and nu-tri-tious,
And yes, it so de-li-cious!
Go get your Sai-lor V's!"
Soon the children were all glowing, almost ablaze with energy! "Let's get him!" One of the kids led the charge, and soon Nephrite was swarmed by a pack of rampaging kids/
"You'll pay for this, Sailor V! You'll pay!" Nephrite's last words faded as he was dragged into the horizon by the savage crowd.
Sailor V checked her watch. "And they'll still make it to school on time! Thanks to Sailor V Cereal! Hahahahaha!!!" She held up another glowing box for the camera and gave a smile and a wink.
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"So, Rei-chan, what'd ya think? Rei-chan?" Minako turned her head to see her lover frozen in shock, her mouth so wide open bats could've mistaken it for a cave. "Wow! You're speechless!"
"Riiiiiiiiight," Rei drawled. "So you now have your own cereal to go along with everything else? You do know that soon we're gonna start calling you Sailor Vanity, right?"
"Hey, it's all for the cause!" Minako's spirit wasn't dampened in the least. "Remember, the more high-profile I am, the less attention Usagi gets! Isn't that part of the plant?"
Rei let the malaprop go. "I guess you're right, but still..." She was interrupted by a loud growling in her stomach, reminding her what she was supposed to be doing in the first place. She turned her attention over to the paper-wrapped box sitting on the living room table. "I'm afraid to ask, but we're not actually going to eat...that...are we?"
"Of course we are!" Minako tore the paper cover off the box and revealed the same package that she was holding in the commercial.
"Ummm....Mina-chan...is it really supposed to glow like that?"
"Sure," Minako said proudly, "it's packed with energy!!" She tore open the box and poured the cereal into the two bowls. They both glowed in a beautiful yet disturbing array of colors. "And now for the best part!" Minako added the milk, and the bowl sparked and crackled, overflowing with pure energy. At one point, a large arc of energy connected the bowls.
Rei edged back into the sofa, fearing the breakfast kaleidoscope would explode. "Y-y-you actually want us to EAT this?? Is it even safe?? Maybe I should call Ami-chan down here and get her to analyze it--"
"You'll do no such thing!" Minako shouted, then she sidled up to Rei and gave her the biggest puppy-dog-eyes she could manage. "Please Rei-chan......do it for me!"
Rei was very wary of eating the dynamic breakfast food, but she couldn't resist Minako's pleading. "Fine, I'll try it. But if I die, I'm gonna haunt you for all eternity...or come back as your worst arch-enemy!"
Minako cheered and then grabbed one of the bowls, took a spoonful of the cereal and carefully fed it to a still-hesitant Rei. "Come on, open up!" she sang cutely, "Let the choo-choo in the tunnel!"
Rei allowed the cereal access to her mouth, and she started to chew on it.... "Hey, this isn't bad! It's actually quite good! Sweet and crunchy and....oh shi--!!" Suddenly Rei felt as if she stuck her tongue in a power outlet, as every nerve in her body tingled. Her long purple-black hair stood on end, and her eyes flew open, emitting a fiery red glow. That same glow soon enveloped her entire body, as she was infused with a massive amount of energy. All she knew was she had to get rid of it before the apartment building became a steaming pile of rubble. With no villains to fight, she chose an alternate method to...release her energy.
"Minako...bedroom...NOW!!!"
Minako grinned widely as she scooped up the two bowls and ran into the bedroom. "I think we're gonna be needing these...I hope no big crisis arises in the next six or seven hours!"
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Six hours, one container of milk and a box of cereal later, the two women lay spent on their rumpled bed. "That stuff is...awesome..." Rei said, trying to catch her breath. "What the heck is in that, anyway?"
"Trade secret." Minako's head rested on Rei's belly, her long golden hair splayed out all over her lover and the bed. "If I told ya, I'd have to chill ya!"
"That's...nevermind, I'm too tired!" Rei then shot up, throwing the blonde off of her. "Oh no! This isn't going to be put on the open market, is it?"
Minako scrambled off of the floor. "Of course, silly! In fact, it was shipped out this morning...what's wrong?"
"What if...what if Usagi gets a hold of this? What do you think would--" Rei's thought was cut short by her phone ringing. "Oh Kami, this can't be good!" Rei picked up the receiver, only to hear a babbling Usagi on the other end. "Usagi-chan, calm down! I can't understand you. Just take a deep breath and tell me what happened."
"I-I...I think I killed Mamo-chan!!"
END