Warm (part 3 of 4)
Back to Part 2Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait in updating, my
schedule's been pretty busy lately. Anyway, in this chapter we finally
have Jr. and Ziggy make an appearance in this fic. This chapter was
fairly difficult to write and there is some OOCness, but I hope you all
enjoy it. I guess the chapter after this will be the last one unless
you readers want me to continue. Well, I think that's enough for now,
so without further ado, I give you the next chapter of Warm.
Darkness, that is what I see before me. Columns of light randomly
color over this black shade, revealing a crimson-red fabric on the
floor. My foot begins to come
forward, a loud tap echoes upon touching the ground. It feels like
marble beneath my feet. I take another step and another column of
light enters the area. More of the carpet
is revealed, its yellow trimmings slowly becoming visible with every
step that I take. The light slowly begins to take over the poorly
illuminated hallway, drapes of gray suddenly appear hanging from the
ceiling.
‘Where am I?’ I ask myself after the entire area is lighted.
“Aha ha ha ha ha ” a maniacal laugh suddenly enters my ears.
That voice so familiar, as is this hallway. The red carpet, the gray
drapes, the marble floor, all of it looks so familiar. My gaze turns
to the end of the carpet, finding the red trimming crawling up the wall
and a figure sitting against the corner. The figure sits in a throne
as another lies on his lap. I can only make out the sitting figure,
white hair, violet eyes, a black and white uniform, and a wing-like
cape. This scene, and this person, they’re so familiar...
“Well, don’t just stand there,” the figure calls, “come, the show is
about to begin.”
“Albedo...,” I barely call his name.
My foot begins to move forward, my fingers closing against my heart.
This man is dangerous, who knows what he might do. I’m prepared to
summon my M.W.S. as my left hand dangles at my side. The figure in
his lap slowly becomes clearly; strands of her cerulean blue hair are
tangled, her milky white skin now covered in ash and blood, her eye
lids folded over her red pupils, and her silver armor now torn. It
can’t be, it’s...
“KOS-MOS ” I scream.
“...Shion?” her red pupils slowly come into view.
“What did you do to her? ” I yell at the corrupt U.R.T.V.
“Come now, no need to get angry,” a chuckle escapes after his words.
“There’s no way you can enjoy the act with that attitude.”
His right hand begins to release its hold on the arm of his chair as
his fingers begin circling around the area around the blue-haired
angel’s face. His nail begins touching her soot-covered face, and
suddenly, her right arm launches upward. Her fist suddenly stops
inches before it meets his face as the fingers now take hold of her wrist.
“Nice try,” his lips begin to curl once more, “but I know all about
your battle armaments, your R-Cannon won’t do you any good here.”
“Leave her alone ” I find my feet suddenly pushing me forward.
His visage begins to come into clearer view as his laughs become
louder. His violet pupils become wider as my weapon begins to swing
forward, but for some reason, my body comes to a stop. The arm holding
my weapon suddenly begins to pull back, and my legs suddenly bend
together until my knees touch the floor. The rest of my body begins to
sink to the level of my knees, but my head stops inches before the
marble surface. The M.W.S. begins to slip from my arm suddenly until a
loud clang erupts in the entire area. I turn to the source of the
sound and find two tiny arms holding onto mine. My eyes begin to
linger to the source of the arms, finding small and frail bodies on the
other end. The bodies are clothed in bluish-blackish uniforms, ones
that are very similar to the outfit MOMO wears. My vision begins
climbing upward more, finding the same face of the realian I had just
mentioned.
‘MOMO?’ I think to myself as I gaze into the child-like realians. ‘No,
100 Series Observational Realians,’ I conclude a second later.
“Come now, no need to be rough with her guest,” he orders his child-
like servants, “bring her a seat.”
My legs suddenly began dragging against the crimson rug as my body
somehow moves forward. The angel and devil before me begin to grow
larger in view, and before I know it, they are as tall as giants. I
find my body suddenly thrust to the floor with my knees barely breaking
my fall. I find my vision now cast upon the toes of the U.R.T.V.’s
boots, and tilting my head upward, I find that dark simper once more.
“Well then, aren’t you a lucky one?” his sinister sarcasm escapes his
lips once more. “You have the best seat in the house, the main
attraction is just before your eyes.”
“What do you mean by main attraction? ” I snarl. “What did you do to
KOS-MOS?”
“Nothing special,” he answers with that menacing simper still stretched
across his lips, “I simply had my crew powder her nose a little, she
has to look her best for the act, doesn’t she?”
His gaze turns toward the ivory-skinned angel on his lap; his right hand
begins to hover inches away from her face. She tries so desperately to
break from his hold, though her body only shivers as her arm tries to
break away from his grasp. Her other hand begins to swat at his face,
but a simple chuckle escapes with each strike her palm and fingers
deliver.
“Such a lively one, aren’t you?” he laughs again.
“That’s enough already ” I try to move forward, only to have my body
forced back with the pull on my arms.
“The show is about to begin,” his ridicules stop for a moment, “so
please, remain in your seat and enjoy the first act ”
His right hand balls into a fist for a moment, only to free his fingers
a moment later. His arms suddenly thrusts downward, down into the
abdomen of the battered angel in his lap.
“Ugh!” she screams.
“KOS-MOS!” her name cries from the top of my lungs.
“My, my, this feels good,” he begins laughing once more, “I didn’t
think a machine could feel this good.”
“You monster, stop it !” I yell with my eyes starting to burn.
“Oh my, is this her first time? She’s so cold,” he continues his
taunts, “it’s so cold that it burns, ah ha ha ha ha!”
I try to move forward once more, only to pulled back yet again by the
child-like marionettes. My feet do nothing but slide against the
ground with every step that I take, but the more I try to move, the
more my body is pulled back.
“...Shion...,” I turn to away from the torture for a mere second in
order to gaze at the victim’s red pupils.
Translucent rivers begin to crawl down her face, running down as
swiftly as a strike of lightning. My eyes begin to burn even more, and
my neck begins to swerve my head away. However, I can only look away
for a mere second as I find the bones of my
cheeks suddenly being pinched and forcing me to watch the ravishing of
my angel.
“What were you looking that way for, my dear, the show is over here?”
his teasing continues. “I know you’re enjoying this deep down inside.”
“What gives you that idea? ” I yell. “How could I enjoy...? ”
“I know what you really created her for, don’t deny it!” he interrupts.
“Trying to replace your dearly beloved Kevin with a doll, a doll you
could play with anytime you wanted to. A doll you could do anything
with; you can toss her around, feel her hair, glide your fingers
against her skin, you can do anything and she won’t care. She is
nothing more than a toy for you, isn’t she? You only wanted someone
to play with, someone to fill that void that was created when your
fiancee died!”
“That’s a lie!” I cry from the top of my lungs. “I never created her
for that reason, I...”
“Created her to combat the Gnosis?” he interrupts once more. “How long
will you continue to hide behind that veil? You’re a coward, running
away oh so hard from the truth, just like Rubedo.”
“I’m not running,” the words barely escape my lips, “I mean, I...”
“She is nothing but a toy to you ” he continues. “Toys can have many
uses, yes? A doll can be companion when there is no one else around, a
doll can be used as a weapon if there is no other device around, and a
doll can be showed off to others, showing off your craftsmanship. A
doll can do all of these things, but in the end, a new and better doll
is always made, one that does these things so much better. In the end,
the doll you once cherished so much is nothing more than another piece
of garbage in the dumpster. That is what she is to you isn’t she, a
doll, an 'angel' you crafted from your imagination, a device which some
people call ‘their dream girl.’ That’s what she is to you, isn’t she?”
“...it’s true I created her to fill that void...,” I begin to admit, “I
created her to be my angel, but she is NOT a doll!”
“At least you’re beginning to accept part of the truth,” the U.R.T.V.
begins to chuckle once more. “Oh, it seems like she’s done,” his
laughing comes to a stop a second later.
“KOS-MOS?” I turn to the battered angel once more.
Her body suddenly stops moving; her free arm begins to dangle down the
maniac’s lap. Her legs grow limp, and her eyes and mouth wide open.
The white-gloved hand within her begins to withdraw from her abdomen,
its owner’s lips stretching further with each inch that grows between
his fingers and her stomach. His knees begin to straighten and the
ivory-skinned angel on his lap begins sliding down to his ankles.
Clang, that is the sound her body makes as her spine meets with the
marble floor.
My mouth and throat are dry, my eyes burning like the fires of hell,
and my fist trembling from the nails of my own fingers. The streams of
tears that run down my cheeks cannot quench the dryness in my throat,
nor can it cool the furnace in my eyes or mend the halves of my heart.
Clack, clack, clack, the sound of his footsteps grow fainter and
fainter, but again, I am helpless.
“Shi...on...”
I look into her eyes once more, they are no longer of a crimson shade,
but they are now a cerulean blue. The restraints around my body begin
to slip away, and I proceed to the fallen angel before me. My fingers
begin to tread down her sky blue hair, parting the strands until my
palm finds her cheek. Her milky white skin is no longer as soft as
silk, it is as rough as sandpaper. The monotone expression on her face
has now been replaced with a frown and tears, and her voice is no
longer as soothing as the evening winds, it is now as sharp as a broken
record. Despite the monstrosity she has become, I still hold her;
holding her as tight as I ever could in my entire life.
“Oh KOS-MOS...,” I cry, “KOS-MOS...”
“Shi..on,” she barely calls my name once more.
“Don’t speak KOS-MOS,” I tell her as I rub her cheek against mine,
“don’t speak.”
“It was horrible, Shion,” her voice begins to crack even further.
“He...”
“Don’t say it ” I interrupt, pressing her body against mine even more.
Her body is so cold, so limp, so broken. Her arms can barely wrap
around my waist and her legs can’t even flinch. She is broken, she
is...
“KOS-MOS...?” I call her name once more.
I turn her to face me once more, but now her eyes have been replaced
with another shade. Gray, her pupils are now gray. Her entire body is
now as cold as ice and as hard as rock. Her body does not move any
longer, nor does a voice escape her lips. I can say no more, all I can
do is hold the lifeless angel once more.
“KOS-MOS...,” I whisper her name into her ear for the very last time.
“KOS-MOS,” my voice begins to yell. “KOS-MOS!!!!”
That is when I wake up, wake up in my own room on the Elsa.
“Just a dream,” I assure myself. “A dream, nothing more.”
My breathing is still heavy, my eyes burning, and my heart racing.
That dream, it felt so real, just like that time the others and I went
into the Encephalon. Albedo, what did he want with KOS-MOS, how could
that man possibly...? First MOMO, and now KOS-MOS could be next, just
what does he want?
I begin to brush the dream away from my memories, only to recall the
events that happened earlier today. I recall having breakfast in the
restaurant of the Elsa, and then she came in, practically ignoring me.
I chase after her as she leaves, and as usual, she answers without
giving a thought about my feelings. I remember the sting in my palm
after it struck her, and then I remember the streams that fell down my
cheeks. Then the silver-haired boy appeared and consoled me. He also
told me that my angel was crying when he last saw her. I had to
apologize, but as soon as I found her, she was talking with the very
same silver-haired boy that consoled me earlier. The next thing I
knew, her lips fell upon his, and then the barriers around my heart
began to break once more.
KOS-MOS, do you enjoy playing with my emotions? Do you and chaos enjoy
toying with my feelings for you? No, chaos isn't like that, just what
kind of sick game are you playing, KOS-MOS?
With a sigh, I push myself out of bed. I need a fresh breath of air.
Before I leave though, I can't help but turn to the bed across mine.
The pillow and sheets still have the engravement of her tossing body,
as well as the dry puddles of tears. Though these things are still
here, the owner of the bed is nowhere to be found. I wonder where MOMO
is, it's pretty late according to the clock.
Clack, clack, clack, the sound of my footsteps is all I hear as I walk
down the basement corridors of the ship. There is never any activity
here, I usually go here if I need to clear my head. No matter what
time of day it is, I can never hear any of Captain Matthews' yelling or
any of Tony's pick-up lines. All I can hear down here are the sounds
of my steps, nothing more.
As I begin to turn the corner, another sound begins to enter my ears.
It's faint, but I know it's the sound of one crying. My steps become
lighter as I begin to approach the corner, and the cries become louder
with each inch. I soon find my eyes poking out of the corner, and now,
I can see the source of the mourns. Her back is turned, her knees
touching the floor, and her palms buried in her face. Her pink hair
bobs with each sob that escapes, and the sound of liquid dripping to
the floor follows with each bob of her head. It is MOMO, in the same
position she has been every night ever since that incident with Albedo.
I want to say something to her, I want to approach her and tell her
everything's okay, but I cannot. Everything is not okay; what she went
through a few days ago is not something any girl should go through. My
conscience tells me to go over there and say something, but because I
cannot think of any words of solace, I can do nothing. My eyes begin
to burn once more because of my weakness, this is the only way I can
share her pain, by me watching her, and doing nothing more.
"You know too, don't you?" a whisper suddenly enters my ear.
"Ziggy?" I turn to the blond cyborg now standing next to me.
"Every night she comes here," Ziggy explains, "every night she hides
behind this corner and cries, and every night I can do nothing but
watch."
"Nothing but watch?" I ask. "Why?!" I begin to raise my voice. "Why
can't you just go over there and tell her everything's okay?! Why
can't you just...?!"
"I ask you the same question," he interrupts calmly. "Why can't you
console her?"
"It's because I...," no words come into my mind.
"It's the same reason why I can't do anything," he answers. "I've
been through many battles ever since I became a cyborg, and in the
process, I've lost track of many human emotions. It's times like this
that I wish I had not lost track of them. Despite how many battles
I've been in, I can never come out victorious when it comes to the
battle of the heart, that's why..."
He suddenly stops, and then I hear the sound of more steps in the area.
I look behind the cyborg's figure to find a flash of red entering my
eyes. The flash comes closer and a figure becomes more apparent. Blue
eyes, lime-green pants, and a long jacket despite his short stature,
it's none other than Jr. I say nothing as he brushes past Ziggy and
me, he does not even give us a second glance as he approaches the
little girl on the other side of the corner.
"Jr.?" she calls his name between her sobs.
"I'm sorry," the U.R.T.V. suddenly apologizes.
Once again I am at a loss for words. I still cannot think of anything
to say, but my conscience tells me to do nothing this time. Something
else tells me for certain that I should obey, and so, I do.
"Jr., why are you apologizing?" MOMO begins to pull herself away from
the ground.
"I'm sorry," he repeats himself. "MOMO, I failed you, didn't I?" he
asks as his head begins to drag toward the ground. "I promised you that
I'd be there to protect you and..."
"Jr., you were there to protect me," MOMO tries to console him, "if you
and the others didn't come at that time, I might have..."
"Don't say it, MOMO!" the boy begins to raise his voice for a second,
only to have his head sink back toward the ground. "Don't say it..."
"Jr., please, I'm all right, really," she tries to assure him. It's
over now so..."
"No, it's not over," he interrupts. "MOMO, I'm sorry, I haven't been
there for you ever since that incident," he continues, if I had only
known what you've been going through up until now, I would have...
I... I just wish I could've been there with you all those times," his
voice begins to crack, "I wish I could've known the hell you've been
going through as I stood back and did nothing. I wish I could have
been there before any of this happened!" his legs suddenly drop his
knees to the floor.
"Jr., it's all right," she begins to wrap her arms around him.
"Really, it is. You're here for me now, aren't you?"
"Yeah," he answers after a sniff.
"That's all that matters," she tells him. "As long as you're here with
me now, that's all that matters," she begins to sink to his level.
"Thank you, MOMO," he begins to wrap his arms around her.
"No Jr., I should thank you," her voice begins to crack. "I should
thank you for being with me. I should thank you for..."
"Stop that," he tells her, "if you begin crying, then I'll..."
"Just hold me, Jr.," she orders him. "Please, for now, just..."
"Shh, it's all right," he interrupts by placing his finger before her
lips, "just let it out, okay? Just..."
I can't help but notice the streams now traveling down his cheeks. I'm
relieved now, but I can't help but cry after what I've just seen. The
cyborg then begins to take his leave without saying another word. I
continue to watch the two for another moment or so, watching them as
they both release their tears in each other's arms.
"We all need someone to be there for us," another voice suddenly enters
my ear.
"chaos?" I turn to the silver-haired boy who now stands behind me.
"We all need someone to hold us in times of grief," he continues, "and
we all need someone to share our hearts with."
"Yes, I know," I say with my back turned toward him as I try to keep my
anger away.
"It wasn't meant for me," he suddenly says.
"What?" I turn toward him.
"That kiss," he continues, "it was never meant for me, Shion."
"Then why...?"
"She's confused, Shion," chaos answers, "the girl doesn't know anything
about human emotions. KOS-MOS needs someone to guide her, Shion,
someone who could be there for her, whether it's in times of grief,
times of joy, or someone to share her heart with, she needs you,
Shion."
"Me? But why?" I ask. "Why can't you...?"
"She was never meant for me," he answers, "she was meant for only you,
Shion. You created her, so she should be yours to take care of. At
the very least, be a mother to her, Shion, guide her through life and
be there when she needs you, but if you can be more..."
"I see," I nod. "I... need some time to think."
Without anymore side trips, I return to my room. Here I am, alone,
alone with my thoughts. I was always alone, ever since I was a child.
It began with Mother dying; Father was always away at work and Jin was
always reading his stupid books. Then when I finally got into Vector,
I thought I would never be alone again after I met Kevin. It was never
meant to be, however. KOS-MOS, the first KOS-MOS had taken him away
from me. I was alone once more after that, and I never found anyone
else up to this point. I'll never be able to find anyone to replace my
mother, or Kevin, but still, I want someone to fill the emptiness
inside me.
"Guide her," I recall the silver-haired boy's words.
Can I really guide KOS-MOS through life? How can I guide her when
she's not willing? Every time I order her to do something, she tries
to ignore what I say. She only cares about herself and her objectives,
why else did she shoot Lt. Virgil? That's all I probably am to her,
another objective in her memory banks, nothing more.
The door to my cabin suddenly opens, and the thumping of steps begins
to echo throughout the room. I take no effort to look at the one who
entered, instead continuing to focus on my thoughts. It's probably
MOMO, maybe she finished crying with Jr. MOMO and Jr., those two were
meant for each other, holding each other so closely back there. Just
once I wish I could be held like that, just once I...
I suddenly find my body sinking back as arms begin to wrap around my
body. My cheek suddenly begins to nestle against another as my back
barely touches the chest of another. I do nothing for a moment, just
sitting there in this mysterious person's arms, indulging in this
moment. My vision begins to turn toward the arms of the person who
holds me; black gloves and ivory-white skin wrap around above my chest.
My own arm begins to move upward at the moment, my fingers slowly
gliding against the one of my holder's arms. I can feel each breath
the person takes as their chest rests against my body, and I can feel
it tickling down my ear as it whistles.
"Shion," my holder barely calls my name.
'So warm,' I think to myself as I brush my cheek against hers, 'so warm.'
Her cheek suddenly begins to pull away from mine, much to my dismay,
yet something else takes its place. Tiny plucks against my cheek begin
to surface as one arm leaves my body. The fingers of the arm find
their way below my chin as the kisses travel downward, until they stop
before my lips.
"KOS-MOS...," I barely call her name before our lips could touch.
Like the night before, I find my mouth indulging within the sweet
ambrosia within the lips of the blue-haired angel. Our mouths bicker
with one another as we try to steal the contents away from each other's
lips, the struggle never seems to end. The more my lips pull away from
hers, the more she pulls them back in. Her mouth is as warm as ever,
and her lips as sweet as they've ever been. More, I want more.
My tongue begins to mingle with hers, the two begin wrestling with one
another over and over again, trying to overlap the other. Again I try
to gain the edge in the battle of our lips by pulling her mouth even
closer to mine. Her arms begin to move once more, this time wrapping
around my shoulder and waist. She pulls our bodies together, closing
the gap between the two of us. I can feel her heart beating against my
chest, or what I want to believe is her heart. My hand begins to find
its way to her cheek, stroking it ever so gently as it begins to travel
up her hair. The war between our lips soon comes to an end, and yet,
neither side is victorious, yet both have claimed a different kind of
victory.
"Shion," the blue-haired angel falls to my lap. "I love you."
"I love you too, KOS-MOS," I tell her as I continue stroking her hair.
"I'm sorry, Shion," she suddenly apologizes.
"Sorry?" I ask.
"About what happened earlier," she answers as she wraps her fingers
around my leggings. "I should have been more considerate of your
feelings. I was once again only putting logic ahead of everything
else, and..."
"No, I should be the one to apologize," I interrupt her. "I shouldn't
have struck you like that, I should have known better that you'd..."
"That's no excuse," she tells me, bringing her cerulean blue eyes to
face mine. "It's because of that strike that made me go to chaos. I
was so confused, Shion, I wanted to..."
"That's enough," I tell her as I return to stroking her hair, "it's all
right now."
KOS-MOS, she really does love me. I know she's only a machine, but
there's something in her voice that allows me to believe her. Her body
is so warm as it nestles against mine, so warm that she fools me for a
second into believe that she's human. Human, how I wish she could
become human. Even though she's supposed to be a weapon to battle the
Gnosis, I wish I could get her away from all that. I wish I could
hold in my arms for all eternity, but...
"Oh my, is this her first time?" the taunts from my dream suddenly begin
to echo. "She's so cold..."
'So cold?' I turn to the angel that rests on my lap. 'No, she's very
warm.'
I just want to sit here and enjoy this moment, but the corrupt
U.R.T.V.'s voice continues to echo in my head. He goes on about how
cold she is, how good she feels, and other things I never I want to
have her go through.
"KOS-MOS...," I call her name.
"Yes, Shion?"
Angels are supposed to be beings full of purity, and if that purity is
to be taken from her, then it's...
"Make love to me," I finish after a moment of hesitation.
It's better that I take it from her now than someone else later on...
Author's Note: Well, how was it? I hope you enjoyed this chapter
despite the long wait in updating, I hope it was worth the wait. Sorry
you readers at ff.net, but you won't be able to read the lemon that
occurs in the next chapter, but don't worry, I'll post the lemon on
www.shoujoai.com so you can read it there in the Xenosaga section.
Remember that my pen name there is cbman, so don't worry about my fic
being taken from another person. Go ahead and review if you like, but
as usual, I don't take flames. Oh, if you're reading this from
shoujoai.com and don't want to read the lemon, the edited version of
this chapter will be on www.fanfiction.net under my other pen name,
XenoMark.
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