Mother (part 11 of 11)

a Xenosaga fanfiction by cbman

Back to Part 10
XenoMark's Note: I just saw the latest trailer for Xenosaga 3 recently, 
I must say that this game looks better and better with every new trailer 
that's released. I just hope the newest one lives up to the hype of the 
trailers. For those of you who haven't seen the trailer yet, I won't 
spoil by telling you the identities of the Testaments (although I will 
hint that the answers are pretty obvious). Anyways, T-elos makes her 
real introduction in this chapter (you can find art for her on the 
Xenosaga fan fiction site on our profile), although her personality 
might be a bit different from her video game incarnation, hopefully 
she'll be somewhat appealing to you readers. Not really sure what else 
to say, so let's get to the story.

----------

The True Telomerose

(Citrine's POV)

Once again I find myself staring into the ceiling, my body paralyzed by 
the events that have just occurred. The pain wasn't as great as it was 
back then, nor did I bleed during the course of the events that just 
happened, but the fact remains that it still hurts. It's not my body 
that's in any kind of pain, but something else, something inside me.

I turn to my side to find the possessed body of Nigredo now sleeping. 
Yuriev..., the man who was responsible for my creation twenty-six years 
ago, the man who turned me into who I am today, I should feel grateful 
to him for all he's done for me, but for some reason, I don't. Why is it 
that I do not feel this way? That fool, Albedo, this is his doing; it's 
because of that weakling's words that I express anything to begin with.

I get out of bed now, making as little noise as possible. Yuriev hates 
being woken up, and if I were to awaken him, I know what he would do, 
it's happened several times in the past. I remember one incident in 
which I tried to sneak back into my quarters after one of my nights with 
him; on the way out, I accidentally tripped over a chair and woke him 
up. He quickly regained consciousness after my knees hit the floor, 
quickly pushing himself out of bed with a furious look on his face. His 
fists repeatedly pounded against my face because of my clumsiness, his 
feet taking over after I fell to the floor. He didn't finish there 
however, the beating had excited him. He had his way with me again 
afterward, despite the fact that I my face was swollen and bleeding 
profusely. Smiles always came to his face whenever he saw or heard any 
expression of anguish. I always did my best to prevent showing such a 
thing whenever we were together, but even now...

"Well what do we have here?" a feminine voice with a strange accent 
speaks the moment I shut the door. "If it ain't that hussy that tried to 
attack the Foundation three days ago. What's the matter, figured ya 
couldn't take over the place so you decided to become the master's 
tricycle?"

"What's wrong, jealous?" I retort, the girl's words not phasing me the 
slightest. "Or is it that you'd like a ride?"

"Look you!" the blond begins to lose her temper. "I don't know who you 
are, but ever since you came here, Master Gaignun's been actin' all 
weird. Not only that, nothin''s been right; your soldiers wander around 
actin' like they own the place, doin' whatever they damn well please, 
the people ain't even allowed to leave the Foundation no more, and 
Little Master and his friends disappeared after your expedition to Old 
Miltia three days ago. I bet you were in charge of their disappearance; 
Master Gaignun might not be able to see past those snake eyes, but...!"

"Let it go, Mary," the woman's violet-haired sister appears behind her, 
trying to calm her down.

"But Shelley...!"

"As much as I agree with your statements, this isn't the best way to get 
anything resolved," the elder sister explains. "Calm down and I'm sure 
Master Gaignun will give us an explanation at some point, after all, it 
must be difficult for him to endure the Little Master's disappearance."

"I know that, Shelley, but...!"

I deafen my ears to the rest of their conversation, instead walking away 
as the sisters begin to argue amongst each other. After the events that 
occurred on Old Miltia, Yuriev and I came up with a cover story to feed 
to the public. The story was that the expedition to Old Miltia had 
failed due to the terrorist organization, Scientia. We were able to 
convince the people further by providing footage taken by the KOS-MOS 
Prototype, Unit 00-00-00-00-0, who had recorded her battle with Meris 
Orthas II and then copying and pasting footage of Rubedo and his 
comrades that Labyrinthos' security system recorded, the footage 
uploaded into Proto-Omega before obtaining the Zohar. To help enforce 
the story further, I returned to the Foundation in a dated U-TIC 
battleship and had my clothes tattered to make it look like I barely 
escaped. I was also given a copy of the fake recording under the guise 
that I brought a small camera to the expedition. Everyone seems to 
fallen for the cover story, but there are very few who doubt its 
authenticity, such as the Godwin sisters.

"Lady Citrine, are you all right, ma'am?" a soldier suddenly asks me.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" I answer the soldier.

"My apologies ma'am, it's just that I thought I saw a tear being shed 
just now," the soldier explains.

"I'm all right," I assure the soldier.

A tear just now? It's the same as it was during my childhood. Cry? No, I 
won't cry. A U.R.T.V. isn't supposed to feel anything. I'm not supposed 
to have emotions, I'm not supposed to concerned about my own well-being, 
all that matters is the eradication of U-DO. No, not just U-DO, I must 
also complete my duties as a Testament as well. I have to...

Was that another tear that just traveled down my cheek? Wait, why 
another? A fourth one? Why, why are they begin to fall more rapidly? 
Just what's going on? What's wrong with me all of a sudden?

"Ma'am...," the same soldier begins to address me again.

"I...I'm okay," my voice stutters, "it's just...just allergies. Excuse 
me!"

I hurry out of the area as quickly as possible, running until I reach 
the transport, not caring where it's going. The train car is empty 
fortunately, allowing me to have the water escape my eyes so freely. My 
body lowers itself to the ground as my arms wrap around my chest as my 
teeth bite down on one another. I find myself beginning to succumb to 
sadness just as I did back then. Why? Why am I concerned about what he 
does to me, even now? It's been fourteen years, I'm supposed to be grown 
up now, so...! Grown up? Why should that matter to a U.R.T.V.? Age 
shouldn't...

"Next stop, Prison Block," the train's speakers announce.

"If you ever feel like crying again, I'll be here," Albedo's words from 
the past come to mind after hearing this location.

"If I ever feel like crying again..." I repeat to myself.

.-.

Am I fool for coming here? The words he told me fourteen years ago, why 
do I find myself drawn to an offer he made when we were children. Would 
he even hold to that end of the bargain? No, of course not! He wasn't 
there for me back then! He wasn't there when I wanted to cry all those 
times! He's a disgrace to the Variants, no, the U.R.T.V. Forces in 
general. So why, why do I find myself being to drawn to the promise of a 
weakling?

"Well this is a surprise?" the white-haired Variant says the moment I 
open the door to his cell. "Didn't think the ice queen would grace me 
with her presence."

"Can it, weakling!" I retort as the cell door shuts behind me.

I can't think of anything else to say after I yell at him, instead 
taking a seat on one of the benches of the dank room. A silence passes 
between the two of us, even I find myself unable to shed any of the 
tears that I had shed just moments ago. I simply find myself twiddling 
my thumbs and staring into the cracked pavement beneath my feet as I 
sit. It's obvious that the weakling isn't going to start the 
conversation, but for some reason, I don't leave the cell.

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh," Albedo begins to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"Nothing really, I just remembered a rather entertaining story," the 
madman answers. "It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away."

"Very funny," I roll my eyes in his attempt in humor.

"No, no, hear me out," he continues. "There once was a little girl who 
tried to close her heart off to the world," his tale begins to 
unwillingly catch my interest. "Nearly every night she would find 
herself in a difficult situation, a situation which would always bring 
her to tears. No matter how hard she tried to shut away her emotions, 
they would always come in the form of floods from her eyes. At the same 
time, there was also a little boy who opened his heart to the world, and 
he also often find himself in difficult situations. The two were 
outcasts, but it was clear that the girl wanted nothing to do with the 
boy. One day however, when the little girl was in her usual fit of 
tears, the boy had spotted her."

"Shut up!" I slam my palms into the bench as I return to my feet. "I've 
heard enough of this story!"

"Now now, cool your jets, let me finish," the white-haired variant says 
in a mocking tone. "Now where was I? Oh yes... The girl's reaction to 
the boy was no different on this occasion, but despite his mistreatment, 
the boy pressed on."

"Stop it!" I yell.

"After enough pushing, the boy finally got the girl to open up to him, 
at least for that one night. The two had spent the entire evening 
together, the embrace of each others' arms keeping them free from the 
cold. When morning came, the girl had stopped crying; she made the boy 
promise not to tell anyone of the events that had transpired the evening 
before. The boy agreed to the promise and gave her a proposal. 'If you 
ever feel like crying again, I'll be here,' was what the boy proposed. 
To this day however, that proposal was never taken, and perhaps now..."

"Stop it...," I find myself sinking to the floor once again. "I...I've 
heard enough..."

"...perhaps now that proposal can finally be fulfilled."

"Fulfill that proposal? What a load of bull," I spit, my eyes glaring 
into the floor.

"Then why have you come to visit me at this hour?" he begins to 
question. "If you merely wanted to observe me out of spite, you could 
have easily done so outside this cell. Are those tears I see beginning 
to crawl down your face?"

"Uh...?" I find myself beginning to cry once again.

"Such tears..." his palm falls beneath my chin, then raising it so that 
my eyes meet his. "What beauty they hold, these tears of sorrow."

"...stop it...," I barely muster to say.

"They are the most precious substance in the world," he continues as his 
fingers begin to wipe them away.

"...stop it...," I try to look away once more.

"Frailty, thy name is woman," he begins to quote Shakespeare as he 
forces his eyes unto mine once again. "Her eyes, her hair, her cheek, 
her gait, her voice," he begins to quote another of the ancient 
playwright's work, "Handlest in thy discourse O! that her hand, in whose 
comparison all whites are ink writing their own reproach; to whose soft 
seizure the cygnet's down is harsh."

"...stop it..."

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more 
temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summers 
lease hath all too short a date. Sometime too hot the eye of heaven 
shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmd; And every fair from fair 
some time declines, By chance, or natures changing course, untrimmd; But 
thy eternal summer shall not fade Nor lose possession of that fair thou 
owst; Nor shall Death brag thou wandrest in his shade, When in eternal 
lines to time thou growst: So long as men can breath or eyes can see, So 
long lives this, and this gives life to thee."

I make no attempt to hide my shame no longer. The words the corrupt 
U.R.T.V. had just spoken, for some reason I find myself moved by what he 
had just quoted. I find myself at his mercy, just like how I was 
fourteen years ago.

He continues to wipe the tears off my face, his fingers delicately 
sliding against my skin as he moves the streams away. His hand is warm, 
his touch gentle; I can feel my body beginning to suddenly burn from 
within with every inch he touches. The shortness of breath, the 
butterflies in my stomach, the slow but deep throbbing in my heart, that 
undescribable but wonderful feeling from back then has suddenly 
returned.

He finishes drying my tears, my body once again growing cold with the 
departure of his hand. He continues to stare at me however, his gaze 
leaving me paralyzed. I find my lips beginning to quiver as I stare into 
his eyes, finding my reflection in those violet orbs. My entire body 
begins to shiver as I continue to observe them; I feel so helpless, and 
yet, so empowered at the same time, but why...?

His hand touches my face once again, his palm running down the side of 
my face ever so delicately. The fire that was burning inside me has 
returned with his touch, forcing my lips into a small curve. My face 
begins to grow flushed as he caresses me, my eyes unblinking as I take 
notice of that smile on his face. This smile..., it's not the same smile 
he has worn recently, it's that same innocent smile from when we were 
children. So warm, so innocent...

My body falls forward now, but it does not meet with the floor. Once 
again he has stopped me; I can feel his heart beating against my chest 
as I rest against his. More tinder is added into the flames inside me as 
I rest against him, intensifying even further as he wraps his arms 
around me. I find my own arms begin to move around his shoulders now, 
moving together slowly before my arms quickly pull him closer to me.

Just being here with him, it feels so...good. I feel so comfortable with 
him holding me like this, so relaxed when I wrap my own arms around his 
body. I've never felt like this whenever I was with Yuriev, I never felt 
so...alive.

No! A U.R.T.V. isn't supposed to care about things like this! I'm not 
supposed feel this kind of warmth, this comfort! I'm not...!

"Just let it all out, just this one time," I remember his words from 
fourteen years ago once again.

'Just this one time...,' I think to myself. 'Perhaps I can let it all 
out just one more time...'

----------

(Ziggy's POV)

I open my eyes to find myself in the same room, the same empty and 
lifeless area. Ever since we were captured by the Scientia Organization, 
I've been kept in the same room, my captors unable to supply me with the 
necessary parts that were destroyed during my recent confrontation with 
Voyager. I'm assuming they haven't repaired me on purpose so that I 
wouldn't be able to break free from captivity. I may be unable to move 
or escape, but the others tend to visit me often me, especially MOMO.

From what I can gather from them, it's been three days since we escaped 
Old Miltia. We are currently being held in a small island city in Second 
Miltia, which acts as a cover for a base for the Scientia Organization. 
Nearly every civilian is a member of Scientia I've been told, but 
outsiders do not know this; to throw off outsiders, Scientia soldiers 
are dressed like Second Miltia military personnel, and communications 
using the UMN are hacked into the network. I do not know why we are 
being held captive, but it appears their leaders believe we know some 
information of great interest.

According to MOMO, everyday for the last three days, they've been 
interrogating one of our comrades for a duration of at least twelve 
hours. The first one was Allen, but he didn't have any information that 
was of any real use to them; Scientia was already aware of the 
specifications of the KOS-MOS Project, at least of what Allen knew. 
Yesterday it was Canaan's turn, they had extracted the newly 
defragmented Y-Data from him; none of know what that data is though, it 
seems like only the higher-ups are allowed to know what that info is. 
Today is supposed to be Jr.'s turn I heard, I can only pray for him as I 
have for Allen and Canaan.

The door to my room begins to open at this point, I can only assume it's 
MOMO giving me her daily visit.

"So we finally meet, Jan Sauer," the door reveals a woman who reminds me 
of someone long ago.

"Meris...?" is my reaction when I see this woman.

"Close," the woman explains, "in actuality I am Meris Orthas II, I'm 
your former partner's great-granddaughter. So how are you feeling?" she 
tries to initiate a conversation. "I'm sorry that our organization 
hasn't replaced your mechanical limbs yet, Ziggurat Industries Cyborg 
parts are actually quite difficult to find these days. Don't worry 
though, we'll have you repaired soon, the machinists in Scientia easily 
rival those of Vector and Hyams Industries so they can easily 
recreate..."

"What is it you want with me?" I ask in order to end the small talk. 
"Are you here to interrogate me?"

"Not exactly," my visitor answers. "My great-grandmother created this 
organization a century ago in order to uncover the truths behind the 
U.M.N., the Federation Government, and Vector Industries. According to 
my mother, my great-grandmother would tell my grandmother and my mother 
the horrors of what the U.M.N. was capable of, explaining to them her 
first hand accounts of the so-called 'Voyager Investigation,'" her words 
force an old wound to open once again.

"What about it?" I ask, trying to end this old tale as quickly as 
possible.

"My great-grandmother died before I was born, and my mother and 
grandmother were killed in the line of duty before they could tell me my 
great-grandmother's tale," she continues, still not getting to the 
point. "The only other person who is left that can recall the Voyager 
Investigation firsthand is you, Jan Sauer. Because of the deaths of the 
women in my family, I never learned nor understood the reason for why 
Scientia is fighting against the very universe itself. I want you to 
give me that reason, Jan Sauer, give me the reason why we are fighting."

The reason for why her organization is fighting, is that what she really 
wants to ask me? Her eyes tell me a different story; they're still 
green, not in color mind you, but they show inexperience. Not only do I 
quickly identify this trait, I see other things a veteran soldier would 
lack. Compassion, uneasiness, though she has a high position within 
Scientia, I can assume that she only holds such a high rank because of 
her name. I can also come to this conclusion after overhearing the 
conversations of her injured comrades when we were captured on the Elsa. 
The injuries were due to a failed surprise attack on the KOS-MOS 
Archetype, Miang, mostly due to Meris ordering her men to come out of 
hiding after her sensors picked up their location.

The main thing I see in her eyes though, is the feeling of uncertainty. 
I've seen these eyes before, seen them in her great-grandmother, Meris 
Orthas I. My former comrade was not very certain what to do with her 
life when we were assigned to one another, in fact, she simply joined to 
"make the world a better place." At first she did not know how to do 
such a thing, but it appears that after my death, she had found a way 
which resulted in the creation of the Scientia Organization. What my 
comrade's descendant asks of me however, is not why her organization is 
fighting, but for a reason she herself should fight.

"Shouldn't you find the reason why you are fighting by yourself?" I 
voice my opinion.

"What?" my question causes her to grimace.

"A soldier doesn't ask others the reason for why he fights, he fights 
because he has his own personal reasons," I elaborate. "Your 
great-grandmother, she was just like you at first," I explain, "but 
after my death, I assume she found her own reasons to fight, hence why 
she created this organization. As you said, she created this 
organization to find the truth, but for why you fight, that is something 
you must find out on your own."

"Are you saying that I don't have a reason to fight!" she begins to yell 
suddenly. "I do have my reasons; my mother and grandmother were killed 
by the Federation Government and Vector Industries during different 
missions. What I fight for is justice, to allow them to rest in peace 
and not leave their deaths unavenged!"

"And what will that accomplish?" I retort calmly. "Revenge will not 
bring back your mother and grandmother. Justice, can you truly call your 
revenge justice? In your pursuit of this so-called 'justice,' your 
organization has taken many lives. Is that fair to the families and 
friends of your victims as well?"

"Then why do you fight?" she asks still fuming. "You talk about how 
taking lives isn't fair to the families and friends of the victims when 
you yourself have been working as a mercenary for the last century since 
your resurrection. You're nothing but a hypocrite for speaking such 
words, taking part in jobs that always involve killing and destruction. 
I swear, I should just...!" her anger momentarily subsides with the 
ringing of her phone. "What is it?" she practically growls into the 
communication device. "...I'll be right there," she hangs up. "Old 
bastard, you got lucky this time," my former comrade's 
great-granddaughter seethes. "The next time I see you I'll be sure not 
to be as nice."

Without saying another word, my guest immediately hurries out of the 
room. She called me a hypocrite, I know for a fact that it is true. But 
the reason for why I fight... I used to fight to find an end to my own 
life, but now that seems to have all changed. I have to wonder why it is 
that I fight now? Is it also for revenge like Meris said, or is it to 
protect MOMO and my new comrades. I do not know why it is I fight now. I 
truly am a hypocrite...

----------

(Jr.'s POV)

"For the last time, I don't know anything!" I slam my palms onto the 
table for the millionth time today.

Damn these Scientia bastards are persistent! For the last three hours 
they've been asking me on things like the "Zohar Project," what we were 
planning to do with the Zohar Emulators, and something about an "Old 
Prophecy" based on the Ormus Sect. Like hell I know anything of that 
stuff, but these guys keeping pushing for some answers. I'm sure this is 
what they did to Allen and Canaan, continuing to push them to give them 
some sort of answer. They might just be pushing with words right now, 
but I'm sure torture isn't out of their jurisdiction either.

"Don't lie to us, we know who you are, U.R.T.V. #666, Rubedo!" my 
interrogator retorts by mentioning my real name. "Don't think that we 
don't know all about you and the secrets behind the Kukai Foundation. 
Believe me, we have ways of making that information public."

"I keep telling you, I don't know anything!" I try to explain once 
again.

"Bull shit! It's hard to believe that someone with such a high rank in 
the Kukai Foundation knows nothing about the inner workings of the 
Second Miltian Government. Now tell us everything you know about the 
Zohar Emulators and what they're used for."

"I already told you everything I know! How am I supposed to know what 
they're used for, they're just a bunch of giant, gold-colored crosses to 
me."

"How much longer are you going to play the fool, Rubedo?" my 
interrogator asks. "Even if you don't talk, I'm sure others will. What 
about that girl from Vector, we know she's the Chief Engineer of the 
KOS-MOS Project. She may be unable to speak now, but we have ways of 
making her talk," his threats anger me further. "Or better yet, what 
about that KOS-MOS unit that we picked up along with you? It's strange 
that the test-type is a humanoid type as opposed to the archetype and 
mass-produced models which are machine-based, but that makes it all the 
better when it comes to interrogations. There's also that 100-Series 
that we've acquired upon your capture," I find my eyes narrowing further 
with the mentioning of MOMO, "she has another portion of the Y-Data, we 
can simply extract it from her while she's still conscious, I'm sure 
we'd..."

"Stop it!" I jump out of my chair now.

I find my body beginning to step forward on instinct with my arm 
beginning to launch forward at the same time, but before I can even 
raise it to my waist level, I hear the sound of a gun cocking and a 
hollow piece of metal poking into my back. Damn it, the guard outside 
must have been paying attention to the conversation in this room. I 
don't know anything about what these guys are asking about, but if I 
don't give them an answer, they might end up torturing Shion, Elly, or 
MOMO. I could try to make something up, but these guys will interrogate 
the others regardless and if the stories don't match up...! Shit, I 
don't know what I should do.

"You two, get out here!" a third guard suddenly enters the room now.

"Why, what's wrong?" the interrogator asks.

"We've lost contact with all the other sections of this block," the 
guard answers. "We got a guy who just contacted Lieutenant Orthas just 
in case a moment ago so back up should arrive shortly. In the meantime, 
transport the prisoner into lockdown immediately, we'll continue the 
interrogation at a..."

His next words become inaudible as the sound of hissing slowly begins to 
fill the room. That sound is quickly followed by smoke, covering 
everything into a hazy gray. The grey clouds fill my lungs quickly, 
forcing me to hack the contents out of my system. As I wheeze, I hear 
the sound of gunfire close by, but it's quickly silenced by the sound of 
metal pummeling into flesh. I try to look to where the two guards behind 
me once stood, but I don't see their silhouettes in the smoke. I hear 
the same sound again, but this time it's coming from where my 
interrogator was standing. The smoke has begun to clear now, and now I 
see the figure of someone I don't know. This outline of this person 
appears to be a woman with long hair that grows down her lower back, but 
I can't make out any other features. I see her punching into the body of 
the interrogator, or at least I thought I saw her punching into him. No, 
she's kicking..., no... now she's punching..., her movements are just 
too fast for my eyes to register. Wait, where'd she go, she just 
disappeared from...!

The smoke is gone for the most part now, but there is no sign of the my 
unknown rescuer. Actually, is she even here to rescue me? I can see the 
bodies of all of the Scientia soldiers now; it looks like each of them 
were dead before the pain could even register in their brains, but 
still, each of them appear to have been beaten some more even after 
death. This doesn't seem like the work of anyone I know, and I'd rather 
not take chances into believing whoever did this is on my side. I take 
one of the fallen guard's rifles at this point and begin to make my way 
out of the room, only to realize that whoever saved me is actually 
standing behind me right now!

The moment I feel the breath behind me, I quickly turn around and open 
fire, only to find myself shooting at the wall. I feel them breathing on 
me again, this time to my right and I begin firing in that direction. 
There's still no sign of anybody. What the hell...? Whoever it is is 
really fast, I can't seem to get close to even touching them. Is this 
speed even humanly poss...?

"You're wide open..." their voice whispers into my ear now.

A blunt force quickly meets with the side of my face, my body hitting 
against the wall I fired on after. I try to push myself back to my feet 
after, but I find my body not responding to the attack. Dammit, the 
power of her attack was strong enough to paralyze me after only one 
blow, and I couldn't even see it com...!

My head begins to peel away from the wall now, but it's being peeled 
away by an unknown force. Before I know it, it's being pressed against 
the floor now and the back of it is being stepped on by the heel of my 
unknown attacker's shoe.

"I thought I'd go easy on you since you were a kid," that same 
mysterious voice begins to speak now. "I could care less if you're 
really a twenty-six year old man under the childish exterior," she 
continues to taunt, "the battlefield isn't meant for you designer 
children."

"You bitch...!" are the only words I can muster. "Who the hell are you!"

"You're in no position to ask questions!" she begins to sigh as she 
buries her heel further. "I'll at least indulge you and tell you," she 
pulls my head up using my hair, turning me to a pair of greenish-blue 
irises. "I am the true telomerose, the end of all ends."

"KOS...!" this woman's features remind me of...

Before I can say anything else, I find head once again crashing into the 
floor. Everything slowly begins to merge into black as I lose feeling of 
the rest of my body, but I can still hear her mocking voice inside the 
darkness.

"See ya, little boy!" are the last words I hear.

----------

(Shion's POV)

A copy, that's all I am. My real self, the woman who I was based off of, 
she was supposed to do something very important during her lifetime, but 
for some reason she was unable to complete the goal. I was created as a 
replacement to fulfill what she could not. What was it my real self was 
destined to do? Was it something as horrible as what I did not too long 
ago? Cecily, Cathe, and those other Realians, they had nothing to do 
with any of this, and yet I...! Is this what my original self was 
supposed to do? Am I supposed to commit even more horrible atrocities in 
my life before I die?

"No, that is not what you were born to do," the familiar voice of a 
child answers my thoughts.

"Nephilim...," I find the child now standing beside my bed.

"I'm sorry that you had to learn the truth of your birth, Shion," the 
young apparition apologizes, "but I'm afraid..."

"You want me to commit more horrible crimes, is that it!" I cut her off 
before she can say another word. "I won't have it! No more, I don't want 
anything to do with this anymore!"

"But Shion, if you do not play out the role that you were born to do 
then many others will suffer," the child tries to explain.

"Suffer? Haven't many suffered enough!" I fume. "What about my real 
self's family, Jin's mother and father, along with Jin himself? What 
about Jr., MOMO, Ziggy, chaos, and the rest of the Kukai Foundation? Or 
Miang and Elly? Everyone, everyone's suffering because of me! If I 
didn't exist, then...!"

"That's not true," Nephilim tries to assure me. "It's because of a 
certain individual that all of this is happening. No, not just this 
individual, it's also because of me, it was my mistake back then that 
caused all of you to..."

"So you're using me just to fix the mess you made!" I yell. "Why can't 
you do it yourself, you don't need me to do your dirty work!"

"I'm sorry, Shion, but I am unable to do it by myself," Nephilim tries 
to explain. "Only those entwined in the ripples of destiny can..."

"Destiny!" I scoff. "And just who decided we were a part of this 
so-called 'destiny?' I never had a say in playing the part of your 
supposed 'Mother of Destiny,' much less know what it is. My entire life 
was meaningless up until this point, it was never mine to begin with. 
Everything I've done until now, all of it, a waste just so I can fulfill 
some sick desire!"

"Do you really mean it when you say that your life is meaningless?" 
Nephilim asks.

The scenery around us begins to coalesce into itself at this point, 
twisting itself back out a second later, transforming the scenery into 
another area. I find myself now standing in what looks like a city park. 
The sky is blue, with not a single cloud in the atmosphere. The sun is 
shining brightly, its rays filling my entire being with warmth. The 
winds are calm, slightly blowing against the trees and other flora and 
fauna. Wait a minute, this place, it looks so familiar...

I can hear the sound of humming, it's coming from behind me. I turn to 
the source of the gentle melody to find a little girl wearing a light 
blue dress sitting in a small flower garden. A soft smile rests on her 
lips as she places a daisy into the newly dug soil, delicately covering 
its base after planting it. She takes another flower that lies next to 
her after, placing it a few centimeters to the side of the one she just 
planted, continuing the same process. I find my body beginning to calm 
at the sight of this girl, but why is it growing calm? This place, this 
garden, all of it, it feels so familiar...

I hear another voice now, this one coming from my side. This voice is 
sighing, as if this individual were bored. I turn to the source to find 
another person, this one a twelve year old boy. I find my heart 
beginning to pace slowly at this point now and my breathing difficult; 
everything begins to grow hot inside me as well. This boy, why is he 
making me feel this way. Wait, the cropped navy blue hair, the cobalt 
eyes, the broad shoulders, these are all so...

"Um...," I find the little girl beginning to approach the boy now, 
"hello."

"...hi," he answers, somewhat uninterested in the child.

A silence begins to pass between the two children, the boy staring off 
into space as the girl buries the toe of her shoe into the earth. Her 
hips sway back and forth as she thinks of something else to say. It's 
clear that she's nervous, and for some reason, I find myself feeling the 
same way. Why am I feeling so bashful at the moment? Wait a minute, why 
am I moving my foot into the ground like her? Why is my body shifting so 
uneasily? I can feel... her own emotions and thoughts running through me 
at this moment, but why...?

"Um..., what'cha doing?" I find myself wording the same sentence as the 
girl in a synchronized fashion.

"...nothing."

"Oh...," I find myself once again copying the child's words. "Um..., 
what's your name?" we both ask in a shy manner.

"...Kevin."

Kevin! Can this boy truly be Kevin! Wait, I'm beginning to remember 
something... When I was a little girl, when I would be in the park, 
there was always someone I used to talk to all the time. There was a 
boy, he was six years older than me; he was very smart, but he took 
things too literally. Was that boy I used to talk to back then really 
him? So if this boy is Kevin, then this little girl must definitely 
be...!

"My name's Shion," the little girl and I introduce ourselves at the same 
time once again.

Kevin, I've known Kevin ever since I was a child, but why have I 
forgotten until now? Even when we first met in Vector that faithful day, 
he never told me anything about meeting me in the park back then. So 
why, why did I forget our childhood together?

"Um... do you like flowers?" my younger self and I ask in 
synchronization once again.

"...no," Kevin answers, somewhat annoyed.

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"Well I like flowers. Daddy told me that if I gave Mommy enough flowers, 
she'll get better."

"...that makes no sense."

That's right... Every time my father and I visited Mom back then, we 
would always give her flowers. Dad always said back then that Mom used 
to always work in the garden before she was sent to the hospital. 
Whenever we gave her flowers, she seemed to remember us, at least for a 
few moments. Her favorite flowers were...

"Daisies are Mommy's favorite flowers," my younger self continues. "She 
even named me after her favorite kind."

"After Tatarian Asters huh?" Kevin asks. "They're often the favorite 
food of the Lepidoptera species."

"Ha ha ha, you're funny," my younger self chuckles. "Do you wanna water 
some of them?" my younger self changes the subject, handing my former 
lover a water pitcher. "They won't grow if they don't get any water."

"...I'll pass..."

"Please... Pretty please with a cherry on top..."

"...all right," he sighs, taking the pitcher in hand.

"Such a peculiar memory...," another voice suddenly interrupts the 
scene.

"What!" the speaker catches me by surprise.

The entire scene turns black in seconds after hearing this single word. 
The warm atmosphere has disappeared, with a cold air wrapping around my 
entire body. This frozen ambiance, it's coming from the one who 
interrupted my memory. I quickly turn around to the source of the voice 
to find an individual I didn't want to run into again. That red cloak, 
the beak-like mask, it's the very same man who made Elly run away from 
the Kukai Foundation.

"I'm surprised you've forgotten about this until now, Shion," the Red 
Testament speaks.

"You..., what are you doing here?" I ask, my body nearly paralyzed.

"This memory meant a lot to me back then as well," he continues. "I'm 
just sorry that..."

"You!" Nephilim appears before the two of us once again. "You have no 
business here, leave this place at once!"

For the first time I see anger in the young girl's speech. I find myself 
shocked at this, seeing the apparition glaring at my enemy. The cloaked 
man does nothing as the child narrows her eyes at him, he simply 
continues to stand before us unphased.

"But I do have business here," the man answers. "You already know that 
I..."

A burst of flames suddenly explodes in front of the red-cloaked man. The 
fire does nothing to scare him away as he continues to stand there as if 
the sudden attack was an empty threat.

"How long have you been running, Shion?" the cloaked man begins to ask.

"Running...?" his words leave me puzzled.

"No, that isn't the right word. The point of your concentration, was is 
it always on the negative aspects of your past?"

"What do you mean?"

"Every night since your parents died, you would always remind yourself 
of their deaths. Before you found yourself drifting to sleep, you would 
always recall that fateful day. Even when you did push back those 
memories and fell asleep, your mind would unconsciously remind you of 
your hurtful past. Your brother quickly noticed this after a week after 
your parents' deaths, that was when you first started taking sedatives 
to go to sleep. Even after taking the drugs, you would always find 
yourself waking up from the same memory."

"That's not true!" I deny his accusations. "I never always had to take 
the drugs, not when...!"

"Not when you were in love," the man finished my sentence. "When you had 
someone to hold as you slept, when you had someone to wake up next to 
you, that was the only time in which you could sleep without the drugs 
and without waking from nightmares. To have someone to be there for you, 
that was the only time you didn't feel the void of loneliness creeping 
over your shoulder. Whether it was Kevin Winnicot or your 'daughter,' 
Elly. The only reason why you fell in love was so that..."

"Speak no more!" Nephilim interrupts once more. "Say nothing else and 
never return here again!"

"...very well, I shall abide to your wish for now," the man begins to 
turn away now. "But one more thing, Shion. Your fiancee, Kevin Winnicot, 
did you really love him?"

"Of course I loved him!" I answer. "I still love him! He will always 
have a place in my heart! I never loved him simply so I could forget the 
feeling of loneliness, I never loved him just so I could fall asleep, I 
loved him because of the person he was, I loved him simply because I 
could!"

'I?' Did I just say 'I?' Yes, 'I.' It wasn't myself as a copy of my 
mother that loved him, it was 'me.' My 'self.' But why would this man 
ask...?

"...I see," the man says. "But can he truly still have a place in your 
heart when you have now given it to another? Can you truly love despite 
denying your own words?"

"I said that was enough!" the young apparition spits once more.

"Heed my words, Shion, for you cannot truly love if you cannot even 
admit the truth."

And with that, the man disappears into thin air. I realize now that I 
truly am myself, but I am left wondering why that Testament asked me 
those questions. Deny my words, what could he have been talking about?

"The void of loneliness...," his words repeat in my head.

Is that what he meant? Am I lying to myself that I was just using Kevin 
and Elly to fill that void? No, I know I love them, but the aspect of 
filling that void is...

"...I don't like what that man is planning," Nephilim suddenly remarks, 
"but he does speak the truth. Shion, if you wish to obtain your answers, 
you must first find your own truth."

"My own truth?"

"Yes," Nephilim answers. "That man has brought up several items to 
consider. Did you truly love your late fiancee? Were you using the 
people most important in your life to fill your loneliness? You must 
find these answers first, Shion, then you may learn the truth of your 
birth."

And with that, the child disappears as well. My own truth, what could it 
be, and why is it that I'm having trouble admitting to it? Why?

----------

(Elly's POV)

The face of my lover changes for the first time since our arrival here. 
There is no longer that look of sorrow on her face, it is now an 
expression of worry. She must be dreaming, but what she is dreaming of 
is something I do not know. Is she still questioning whether or not she 
is a copy of her mother, or is something else now bothering her?

Whatever it is she is dreaming, I hope it's better than the dreams I've 
been plagued with. I've been having more of those strange dreams these 
past few days, the dreams in which I am with this man named "Fei." I 
think I'm beginning to understand these dreams a little more. I seem to 
be a soldier for a nation called "Solaris" in these dreams, a nation 
that has separated itself from the rest of the world. I'm not sure how 
to describe it, but the closest explanation I can come up with is that 
Solaris exists in an isolated nation in the sky, invisible to the naked 
eye. Fei on the other hand, is a land dweller, or -Lamb- as they are 
referred to in my dreams. As a soldier of Solaris, Fei is supposed to be 
my enemy, and yet, I feel no hostility toward him or his comrades. Jin 
seems to be in my dreams as well, appearing as a man named "Citan." Like 
Jin, Citan seems to be a guardian of sorts to Fei, much like Jin is 
somewhat of a guardian to Abel.

I still don't know why I'm having these dreams, each feeling more 
realistic than the last. The dream I just had last night was just as 
strange as the others. In this one, I was fighting Fei, but my body was 
acting apathetic toward him. I seemed to be on some sort of drug, 
-Drive- is what I think what it was called. We fought in Gears, machines 
similar to A.M.W.S., but the -Drive- was affecting my mind. Fei stopped 
me, he stopped my Gear from moving as the drug wore off. I remember at 
the end of my dream that Fei and I were talking, that he said he could 
relate to me, despite being on different sides of the conflict we were 
facing. I still don't understand any of this, just what exactly are 
these dreams?

"How is she?" I turn to the entrance of our quarters to find Jin 
standing there.

"She seems to be resting a little more peacefully now," I inform him, "I 
suppose the sedatives worked this time."

"I've always hated myself recommending that my sister take these drugs 
in order to fall asleep," Jin admits. "I tried bringing her to a 
psychologist over the topic of our parents' death, but Shion would 
always tell me that nothing was wrong. I never pushed her enough to get 
any help, so the only thing I could do to stop herself from reminding 
herself of our parents' deaths were to take sedatives so that she could 
sleep. I thought she wouldn't need them anymore when she was engaged to 
Kevin since she always seemed to happy with him, but...!"

I find myself growing silent over the name of Shion's late fiancee, the 
name of my "father." I can't say anything about that man, I never met 
him myself after being separated from Miang when we were both still the 
archetype, but I can't help but feel a little bit of... apprehension 
when Jin mentions his name. I suppose I'm a little jealous, but it's 
rather silly of me to think so now that he's...

"Miss Elly, why don't you take a break?" Jin proposes. "I'll watch over 
Shion for now."

"No, I'm all right," I try to assure him.

"Please, you've been by her bedside for the last five hours straight, at 
least take a five minute walk to loosen the tension in your muscles."

"I suppose I can take you up on your offer," I say as I realize the 
numbness in my legs. "Shion," I speak to my sleeping lover now, "I'll be 
back soon."

I place my lips on her forward and then proceed to leave our quarters 
now. I feel terrible having to leave her right now, especially since 
this is a very difficult time for her. I can't get her depressing state 
out of my mind, I can't help but still feel sorrowful over what she's 
going through right now. Maybe if I hadn't said those things that night 
I left her, then... No, even if I didn't, the fact that she learned back 
in Labyrinthos would greatly upset anyone, and the fact that she killed 
all those Realians only made things worse. No, I killed them too, I was 
the one who threw the M.W.S. off her arm, but if I didn't she and 
everyone else would have...!

Wait a minute, that man that just walked past me just now. That orange 
hair and those yellow eyes, it was that military Realian, Canaan! I've 
been so caught up in my own sorrow as of late that I haven't had the 
chance to question him on what my former superiors are up to. I'm sure 
that my superiors voluntarily had him achieve part of the Y-Data in 
Labyrinthos so that they would stop questioning him once the Scientia 
technicians had extracted it. If that's the case, I'll have to question 
him myself and find out what's going on once and for all.

I follow Canaan to another part of the residential district, but I do 
not make an attempt to confront him yet. It wouldn't be wise to question 
him in public with a lot of Scientia soldiers and civilians around. I 
know he won't be making an attempt to contact his superiors from here, 
chances are that all forms of communication are tapped. Hm, what's this 
though? He's going into a bar. Could he be meeting with some sort of 
contact? No, that's not likely, but whatever's he doing there, this 
should be the best opportunity to confront him.

The moment I enter the bar, I find myself starting to cough as I find 
clouds of tobacco smoke already entering my lungs. Mindless chatter of 
the occupants fill my ears amidst the smoke and somewhere in the 
background I can hear the TV announcing some sort of sporting event. The 
entire facility is filled with the scent of terrible B.O., I almost find 
myself throwing up over the disgusting odor. I find myself preparing to 
leave shortly after, but before I could, I catch a glimpse of my target 
who receives a mug of beer from the barkeep. Holding my breath, I decide 
to venture into the bar, taking the seat next to my target, placing my 
sword to the left of me so that it is out of his grasp.

"What'll you have?" the bartender asks after I take my seat.

"I'll just have some milk, please," I answer.

"On the rocks?" I find myself puzzled by his question.

"No thank you," I tell him, making him go to the other side of the bar 
to get my drink.

I turn to my right to find the Realian nursing his beverage. I'm not 
sure if he noticed me or not, but I make an attempt to pretend that I 
don't notice him either. I try to turn my attention to the TV set, only 
to turn away from it shortly due to the lack of interest in the game 
that's playing. I won't be going anywhere if I don't start the 
conversation, but I can't just interrogate him outright. I'm not sure 
how to go about this, but I have to at least try.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, trying to pretend to make a 
conversation.

'This isn't the best way to start a conversation,' I scold myself 
mentally.

"Thought I could use a drink," he answers in his monotone voice. "You?"

"I guess it's the same," I answer.

"The Vector girl doing any better?" he asks.

"I can't really say...," I find myself beginning to sulk again after 
answering.

I do not sulk for long however; I feel as if something is beginning to 
creep up my spine. I sense something, but I'm not sure how to describe 
it. Whatever it is, I'm sensing it coming inside this facility. A woman 
I have never seen before is what walks through; this individual seems to 
be the cause of this sensation. The entire room grows silent as well the 
moment she begins to approach the bar.

This person looks familiar, but I know I've never seen her before. This 
woman wears her long hair freely, the strands as white as a ghost but 
reflect what little light there is in the room perfectly. The color in 
her eyes is the same shade as an aquamarine gem, sparkling with the same 
essence when I stare into them. Her lips are rather thin, but they are 
not the least bit chapped. Her skin is of a light brown shade, it looks 
like ever inch of her body is tanned. Come to think of it, she looks 
similar to my sister, although what she wears is definitely not 
something Miang would wear.

This woman is wearing a scarlet red business suit, or at least, part of 
a business suit. She wears the jacket for such an attire, but she wears 
no shirt underneath it; instead she appears completely nude underneath 
and the jacket itself is only buttoned near her breasts so that you can 
still see the cleavage. The skirt she wears with this clothing is rather 
short, it's only the length of an index finger from her hip down, I can 
see the front of her underwear as well. The woman begins to pass by me 
now, her left eye shutting as she walks by with her lips pressing 
forward in the motion of a kiss. She doesn't take another glance at me 
as she takes the far seat of that bar, her arms hugging the section of 
her body underneath her breasts as she leans toward the bar.

"What'll it be, ma'am?" another barkeep asks the woman after she takes a 
seat.

"Do you have any candy?" the woman makes an odd request.

"...there's a few pieces of peppermint in that bowl next to you, but..."

"Thank you," she places a few coins on the bar as she takes a large red 
and white lollipop, proceeding to lick it after removing the wrapper.

'What a strange woman...,' I think to myself.

"Milk, straight up," the first bartender places my drink in front of me 
now.

"I know you didn't come here for small talk," Canaan tells me after 
taking another sip of his drink. "What is it you want from me?"

"I think you already know," I answer as I bring my order to my lips.

The moment the white liquid enters my mouth, I find it being spat back 
out in the next second. The taste of this milk, it's so bitter; it 
tastes almost like rubbing alcohol! There's a slight taste of cream, but 
it's rather bland. I look at the drink itself now; it isn't even white 
like milk, it's murky as if it was a drink mixed with some other liquid.

"What is this?" I wipe away the remaining contents from my mouth. "This 
isn't milk at all!"

"You know in some bars, 'milk' is another term for 'White Russian,'" the 
Realian explains. "What you've got in your hand is a mixture of vodka, 
kahlua, and cream."

"No wonder...," I slide the drink away. "But that's not the point! My 
former superiors, the people you're working for, I demand to know what 
their goal is. It seems a little convenient that they sent you here."

"Looks like they gave you more information than I thought they did," 
Canaan says as he takes another sip of his drink.

"Don't try and change the subject!" I begin to grow impatient. "Why have 
you been sent on the expedition to recover the Zohar? Did your superiors 
know that this was going to happen if they kept me away long enough? 
Tell me!"

The military Realian stares for a few seconds, his facial expression 
remaining the same way it did during the start of our conversation. He 
returns to his drink shortly, as if my last words weren't spoken. My 
blood begins to boil at this point, my left hand quickly taking my sword 
by the sheath as my right draws it, bringing the tip to his neck. The 
entire vicinity grows still, so quiet that I can hear my own teeth 
clenching.

"Step outside," I order the Realian, not wanted to worsen the scene I've 
created.

The Realian finishes his beverage at this point, leaving several bills 
on the table to pay for his tab. I place my own money on the table 
after, leaving the drink on the table as is. The two of us walk outside 
at this point, going deep into the alley next to the bar so that we 
won't attract any unwanted attention. The two of us finally stop at a 
dead end, and at this point, I try to continue my interrogation.

"I know that your original programming entails you to find those that 
possess the 'will,'" I inform him, "much like the Realian Lactis was 
programmed to do a century ago during the Voyager Investigation on 
Abraxas, or rather Michtam as it is now called. Is that reason why 
you're here? Was everything that happened these past few days 
preordained by the Compass?"

"I don't know, I'm only a subordinate of Vector," the Realian answers. 
"And if I did know, why would I want to tell you?"

"You're right, you may not know about the Compass, but I know that 
you're lying about your reason being here!" I tell him as I tighten the 
grip on my sword. "If you value your life, you'll tell me what that 
reason is now."

Before another word can be said, the entire area begins to shake 
violently. Though the tremor lasts for only a second, panic has already 
been spread widely as I turn around to find many civilians running into 
the streets and away from this area. I see black smoke emerging from the 
bar at this point, the small of ash and cinder filling my nostrils 
seconds later. There's no mistake about it, there was some sort of 
explosion at the bar, but what...?

My body quickly finds itself pushed against the wall at this point, 
Canaan running into the streets as I try to recover. It was stupid of me 
to pay too long of an attention to the recent explosion, and I can't let 
him get away before I learn anything. I try to follow him at this point, 
but the military Realian is faster than I thought, already disappearing 
into the crowds of people.

Before I can begin to look for him in the panicking crowd, I find a 
chill once again creeping inside my body. My intuition tells me to avert 
my gaze back to the bar, and upon doing so, I find the same woman who 
ordered the lollipop walking out of the ensuing blaze unscathed, still 
licking at the candy as if nothing had happened. It couldn't be more 
obvious that this woman was the cause of the fire; she must be working 
under my former superiors.

Several Scientia soldiers surround the woman at this point, each of them 
pointing a rifle at her. The woman remains calm as the soldiers surround 
her, continuing to enjoy the piece of candy in her hand smiling 
innocently, almost like a child as she stands there. I can already tell 
by looking at this woman that this situation isn't considered a threat 
to her, and that she can easily get out of this.

"This has to be her, the one who attacked the prison earlier," one of 
the armed men speaks.

"Place your hands above your head!" another soldier orders the woman who 
ignores his order.

"Sir, before we do anything rash, shouldn't we wait for the Lieutenant?" 
the first soldier asks his comrade.

"Didn't you hear us, put your hands above your head!" the second soldier 
repeats himself, disregarding his ally's advice .

"No, don't provoke her!" I yell to the soldiers in an attempt to warn 
them, only to be heard by deaf ears.

"One second," the woman tells the man, still indulging in the peppermint 
in her hand.

"You bitch, what kind of fools do you take us for!" another soldier 
spits, snatching the lollipop from her grasp.

At this point, the woman's eyes quickly narrow, her figure suddenly 
disappearing from my own eyes. In the blink of an eye, I find a soldier 
to the right of her suddenly disarmed, his gun split in half. She 
quickly reappears for a mere second in front of that soldier, her hand 
wrapped around the back of his neck. In the next instant, she flings the 
soldier toward his comrades, knocking each of them several feet away. I 
find myself paralyzed after seeing this demonstration of such incredible 
destruction, the grip on my weapon so loose that my sword is ready to 
fall out in any second.

Each of these men try to open fire at her at this point, but none of the 
projectiles are unable to hit her. She disappears before my eyes once 
again, appearing in front of them once again. Her leg and body turn in a 
circular motion, her leg swinging low toward one of the soldiers' 
ankles, tripping them easily. As the man is still falling, she kicks 
upward with the same leg and then brings the heel of her shoe into the 
soldier's abdomen while freeing his pistol from his holster with her 
left hand. She steps into the soldier's stomach now, forcing him into 
the floor in a split second, pointing the gun at its owner's face right 
after.

"Die!" she speaks coldly before pulling the trigger.

The remaining soldiers begin to open fire on her at an almost point 
blank range now, but she spins and swerves her body and limbs away from 
each projectile with ease, almost as if it were a dance. She begins to 
fire the pistol in her hand now as she evades each bullet, each blast 
either stopping an enemy's or implanting themselves onto the enemy's 
themselves. She continues to do this with ease for not even thirty 
seconds, the battle ending with each of the Scientia solders lying on 
the floor dead or gravely injured.

This kind of power, it's impossible by all laws of physics, there's no 
way any living creature can create such a tremendous amount of damage in 
such little time.

The woman turns toward me now, dropping her gun and picking up her 
lollipop off the floor, placing it back in her mouth afterwards. She 
begins to approach me, her face displaying a cold and blank expression. 
My body remains frozen as she walks toward me, my body still not 
reacting to my own commands.

'Come on, move!' I try to snap myself out of own fear. 'Move!'

The sound of her footsteps begins to echo above the screams and 
panicking in my ears, her body only growing closer with every passing 
second. I try to move my legs at the very least so that I may run, but 
my knees feel as if they're locked in place. Everything is frozen, even 
my lungs, I can't seem to move anything at all. Is this how it's 
supposed to end? Am I supposed to die a pathetic death without any 
effort to fight back?

"I promise," I suddenly begin to remember my promise with Abel, "I 
promise that I'll come back."

That's right, I promised Abel I'd come back, come back so that I would 
find out why he allows me to see my own immaturity. Not just Abel, but 
everyone as well. Shion, I can't die yet, I can't die before you've 
returned to your old self!

I manage to conjure up enough strength at this point to gather some 
Ether. My enemy fails to notice the gathering of the power in my right 
hand, her body continuing to approach me in a slow walk. I wait for her 
to grow closer, allowing the power in my hand to grow slightly erratic. 
The Ether becomes more and more uncontrollable by the second, but my 
enemy is now within a range I know she won't be able to dodge.

"La so lu te ve ta!" I fire it at my foe as quickly as possible.

The woman's eyebrows quickly raise the moment I announce my attack, but 
it is too late for her to react. Her entire body is quickly engulfed by 
the blast, the attack itself even makes its way into the destroyed bar, 
causing another explosion in the destroyed building, filling the entire 
area with smoke and fire once again. I stand amidst the new blaze hoping 
that my attack destroyed this foe, I don't see why it wouldn't, no 
living creature could survive such an immense attack. Even though I was 
confident that I had killed her, I knew deep down inside that it wasn't 
going to be this easy, my superstition being correct as she stands in 
the same spot totally unphased with the exception of her clothing.

"Impossible...," is the only word I can mutter.

She tears off the red outfit at this point, exposing another provocative 
outfit underneath. She wears a black shirt with violet lining that 
barely covers the top half of her body, barely covering the top half of 
her breasts and exposing their cleavage, neck, and arms. On this shirt 
is an aquamarine gem, almost the same color as her eyes. On her left arm 
is a sort of sleeve that has the same colors of her shirt, along with a 
black spiral bracelet near her right wrist. She wears a tight and small 
skirt with a ribbon that ties around her left leg, also black with 
purple lining, exposing part of her undergarments as well. Her boots 
have the same colors of the rest of her outfit, the one on her right leg 
longer than the one on the left.

"Not bad," the woman compliments, "if it were anyone else besides me, 
they would have dies instantly."

Who is this woman? I swear she was struck by my Ether attack just now, 
and yet here she still is, totally unharmed by the blast. Could she be 
one of the mass-produced KOS-MOS units? No, that isn't likely, even a 
mass-produced model wouldn't be able to withstand an attack that 
powerful. She does look similar to one, but this power, this expression 
on her face, they're all so different, so sinister.

"Who are you?" I demand.

She raises her left hand upward, a beam of light beginning to take form 
beside her body. The beam quickly materializes into a large weapon, 
almost like a giant sword. The length of the weapon is almost the same 
height as her, the blade itself almost a pure white with red v-shaped 
carvings on it, along with runic writing near the base. The guard itself 
is black, forming a large hand guard on one side and a small tip on the 
other that points toward the end of the sword. The violet handle is also 
long, you can easily have four hands hold onto it.

"In order to truly be myself, I must kill you," the woman begins to 
speak once again. "KOS-MOS, allow me to destroy you."

My unnamed opponent begins to charge at this point, the giant edge of 
her sword easily slicing into the ground as she continues to only hold 
it with a single hand. The weight of the sword seems to have slowed her 
down considerably, I am easily able to see her form, but she still moves 
at an alarmingly fast rate. She swings the giant blade from my right, 
forcing myself to block as the length of the weapon would easily catch 
me if I were to jump back or to the side. The sheer force behind the 
swing is enough to force me back, knocking me flat against the ground 
easily. She begins to jump at me with her sword swinging about her head, 
leaving her body exposed. Once again I try to attack with another Ether 
spell, but much to my surprise, the attack disappears before it can 
touch her body. I shut my eyes at this point and wait for the 
inevitable, but much to my surprise, I only hear a loud clang and the 
feel of cold metal touching the side of my face. I open my eyes now to 
find my foe smirking down on me with a sinister look in her eyes.

"It wouldn't be fair for me to kill you without telling you my name," my 
enemy speaks. "I am an anti-Gnosis weapon, serial number XX-XX-XX-XX-X. 
Development name TP-XX, abbreviated name, T-elos. Know the name of the 
one destined to destroy you, KOS-MOS."

My now-named attacker begins to lift her sword up once again, my body 
instinctively rolling to the side at the last moment. The enormous blade 
creates a loud clang as it engraves itself into the metal ground, 
creating a large crack in the surface. My enemy has a little difficulty 
pulling the weapon off the floor, giving me ample time to return to my 
feet. She frees her weapon at this point, using the maximum length of 
her sword to slash at me. I manage to deflect the sword, barely catching 
its tip as I jump backward. I barely keep my balance after our blades 
meet, my back almost pushed back to the floor from the impact. I stagger 
backward as I deflect once again, but I manage not to fall by using my 
sheath as a crutch. Each of her swings are wide but surprisingly swift, 
yet each swing is also becoming weaker than the last. Eventually I find 
my back striking against a wall after jumping back so many times, giving 
my opponent enough time for a final attack.

"Die!" my nemesis seethes as she brings her sword down in a hammer-like 
fashion.

Releasing my hold on my weapon's sheath, I take my blade into both hands 
and swing it upward in an attempt to block once again. The impact of the 
blow pulls my arms toward the ground in great force, nearly knocking my 
entire body down with it, but my arms manage to push T-elos's blade 
away, engraving the sword into the flat surface behind me. Again my 
opponent tries to pull her weapon out, but she has little success in 
doing so. With her wide open to attack, I place my remaining strength in 
my arms and legs, leaping forward with my sword slicing the wind from 
the side. I may not be her match in terms of strength and speed, but 
because the sharpness of my sword is determined by its wielder's Ether 
levels, I can easily tear through her body.

With all of my strength I swing the blade at her side, the edge ready to 
tear at her torso and then inward. I await the sound of metal tearing 
through artificial flesh and wires, but much to my dismay, that is not 
the sound nor sight I see. Clang! My blade has suddenly stopped itself 
from tearing into the body of my enemy, the collision sending a large 
jolt into my arms and then the rest of my body. My arms immediately grow 
numb from the strike, causing me to drop my sword and then to my knees.

'That's impossible!' I think to myself. 'My sword should have cut her 
instantaneously, there's no way the edge could be dull enough to...'

"Unlike the KOS-MOS series, I've been installed with an anti-Ether 
field," my opponent explains. "It's the latest product in Vector's 
Weapons research; with this anti-Ether field installed within me, all 
forms of Ether will become nothing upon impact, even that sword of yours 
has become nothing but a slab of blunt titanium. You thought you'd have 
me beat just because my sword is engraved into a wall, but let me assure 
you, this isn't an ordinary blade."

My eyes widen the moment I turn back to the giant weapon once again, the 
blade suddenly beginning to stretch out into numerous shards with 
flexible, titanium cords connecting them. I should have realized it 
sooner, the entire blade was constructed out of nanomachines, and just 
now the blade has changed shape. The sword has transformed into a giant 
whip-like device!

"Allow me to destroy you," her sinister smirk returns once more.

I feel my entire body being sliced at this point, blood spilling out of 
nearly every pore of my body as the shards of the weapon continually 
slice against my skin and fabric of my dress. The cutting lasts only for 
three seconds, but the pain that follows is immeasurable, and I'm unable 
to stand after. My body begins to lean toward the floor, my arms unable 
to prevent me from falling due to the sudden blood loss, but instead of 
falling, I find my body being lifted upward, the same weapon that sliced 
me now wrapped around me and lifting me off the floor, hanging me as it 
bounds my arms together.

"You're still a child," T-elos mocks, still clutching the hilt of her 
weapon with her arm raised, the bottom of the blade transformed back 
into a sword so that I may remain hung above the ground. "Don't worry, I 
won't kill you yet. Be glad I didn't cut up that pretty face of yours," 
she taunts as she forcefully grips my jaw, "nobody likes an ugly child. 
No, child isn't the right word, you haven't even been weaned yet."

"...No, can't let it end like this...," I barely speak.

"What's the matter, are you going to cry now? Are you going to cry out 
to 'Mommy?' Go ahead and cry, no one will come."

Cry out, I can't always cry out to her, I told her that I have to learn 
how to solve my own problems by myself, but even so...

Shion, Miang, someone, please, help...

----------

(Miang's POV)

"Elly!"

I turn around to find nothing but the same endless crowds of people 
behind me. I take a small moment to survey the people, looking for 
anyone who resembles my sister. I find no one however and I turn forward 
once again so that I may resume my business. I could have sworn I heard 
Elly's voice, almost as if she were crying out to me. No, it may sound 
cruel, but I can't worry about that now, I have a mission to fulfill.

My superiors have given me the orders to make contact with Abel once 
again, though I have not been disclosed why I must do so. Just now, I 
have been sent into the Kukai Foundation under the guise of a soldier 
for Yuriev's private forces, at least so I can infiltrate the premises. 
Just recently I threw away my disguise so that I may pass as a civilian, 
though I have had to cover up the "KOS-MOS" logo on my forehead with 
some make-up.

For the first time since receiving this new body, I was eager to 
actually go on a mission for my superiors. Just the mentioning of making 
contact with Abel excited something inside of me, I'm not sure what it 
was. I actually felt happy when I was ordered to go. I don't know why I 
felt this way, but whatever it was made me forget about all the bad 
things that have been happening lately between my family and me.

'This must be the place,' I think to myself as I stand outside one of 
the larger buildings in the Residential District.

"Hello," I open the door to the temporary orphanage, "is anyone here?"

The living room area in which I entered from is entirely lifeless. The 
room itself is well-kept for the most part; not a speck of dust on any 
of the furniture, nor a crease in any of the curtains. A few stuffed 
animals and other toys lie around the floor, including one that squeaks 
after I accidentally step on it. There isn't any light in this room, I 
can assume that the children are asleep, but where are the adults in 
charge?

I begin to hear a noise coming from the next room now, followed by the 
sound of laughter. There is some incoherent dialogue coming from the 
next room, I can assume that it's coming from a television set. A faint 
glow begins to emit as from the room as I walk toward it now, painting 
everything in a light blue hue. I stop when I come to the opening of the 
next room, finding the source of the light and noise in the form of a 
television set. The monitor displays a crude form of animation in the 
form of a cat and mouse in an unrealistic fashion; the rodent runs into 
a hole in the wall and the cat tries to follow, only able to fit its 
head inside where the mouse waits with a large mallet. In a violent but 
strangely humorous fashion, the mouse swings the mallet into the cat's 
face. Cartoons, I never really understood them.

"Ha ha ha ha," I hear a child's laughter coming from the other side of 
the room.

I turn to where I heard the laugh, finding my target sitting on a velvet 
chair as he concentrates on the images portrayed in the television set. 
He bursts into laughter again in the next second after the cat becomes a 
victim of violence once again at the mouse's hands. I can't help but 
stare at the boy as he watches the television set so eagerly; my body 
begins to feel at ease as I watch him and my lips can't help but smile.

"Abel, don't sit so close to the TV," I feel like I'm beginning to 
remember something from long ago.

The scenery around me has changed again, just like it has when I have 
had these visions these past few days. In all of these visions, I saw 
myself and Abel, living together. It was different than how two lovers 
lived with one another, but I can tell the two of still loved for one 
another, but I'm not sure how to describe it. The boy was a lot younger 
than I was in these figments, his age always varying, whether it was 
from being only a few days old, to being four. I was always a lot older 
than him, I think by at least twenty years. I remember always caring for 
him, cooking his meals, cleaning his clothes, and other household tasks, 
but I was happy doing these things for him. Not only did I do these 
chores, I was also there to entertain him; I would sing lullabies to 
him, watch him in the flower fields outside the house we lived as he 
frolicked within them, read him stories, watch TV with him, I would do 
all sorts of things with him and we were both very happy.

"Abel, please listen to me for a second," I find myself telling the 
child in the new scenery before me.

The child appears to be four years old in the scenery I see before me, 
the place we are in being the house we lived in in my previous 
recollections of this life. This life? That's impossible, I never 
existed prior to be created by Mother and Father two years ago, so how 
can I call these images a "life?"

"Abel!" I find myself getting frustrated as he continues to ignore me.

"Yes Mommy?" the boy turns to me, as if he hadn't heard my last calls.

I find my anger quickly residing as I see the innocent look on his face, 
my smile slowly returning now that I have his attention.

"Come sit with me over here," I tell the child, taking a seat on the 
sofa a few feet away from the television set.

"Okay, Mommy!" the child hurriedly gets off the floor and jumps onto my 
lap.

I wrap my arms around the boy, holding him close to my body so that my 
cheek may nestle with his hair. The two of us continue to watch the 
colorful antics between two humanoid animals, the cartoon violence they 
impart on one another as they quickly recover as if nothing happened.

Abel, my Abel, I won't let anyone take us apart my son.

'Take us apart?' I find myself in the orphanage once again. 'Son?'

The boy sitting on the couch recognizes me now, quickly jumping out of 
his chair and running toward me with glee.

"Elly, Elly, Elly!" the boy addresses me by my sister's name. "You've 
come back! Wait a minute," the boy's happiness begins to disappear, 
"you're not Elly."

"Sorry," I apologize to the boy, kneeling down so that I may equal to 
his height, "I'm her older sister, Miang."

"Oh...," the child begins to look at the floor, his cheeks red with 
embarrassment.

"Don't worry about Elly," I try to assure him, placing my hand on his 
shoulder, "she's okay, she's just gone on a small trip, she'll be back 
soon."

"Really?" Abel begins to smile.

"Yes," I nod, my lips curling like his.

"I missed Elly ever since she left and I got worried," the boy explains.

"Me too," I admit. "So how old are you, Abel?" I find myself changing 
the conversation, despite knowing the actual information.

"Eight," he answers.

"Eight? Wow, you'll be ten in two more years, won't you?" I tell the 
boy, my smile only widening as I speak to him.

"Uh huh," he happily nods.

"Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?" I continue with the 
conversation, despite the fact that it isn't actually going anywhere.

'Why am I doing this?' I think to myself. 'These questions I've been 
asking, they have no real significance to my superiors' goals 
whatsoever, and yet, here I am, asking such meaningless things like a 
small child? Regardless, part of me feels as if these questions aren't 
meaningless at all, and that I actually want to know these things. It's 
as if...'

"I don't know what I want to do when I grow up," Abel admits, his foot 
twisting into the floor, "but my mom always said that I can make that 
choice whenever I wanted."

"Really? That's nice," I tell the boy. "And where is your mom?"

"...she's dead," the child grows silent, my entire body suddenly growing 
frozen from his words. "I was four when...," his voice begins to break 
as water begins to escape his eyes.

The smell of burning flora and fauna begins to enter my nose, and in the 
background, the sound of gunfire. My legs feel as if they are running, 
but they also feel as if they will break at any given moment. I feel 
several bursts of wind blowing from behind me, with tiny iron 
projectiles appear in front of me and moving away after some of the 
gusts catch up. The living room has disappeared before my eyes, replaced 
with the scenery of a burning flower meadow and red sky.

I turn to my chest where I hold a young child, my arms holding him tight 
as I run through the burning fields with him. I look back to find 
several men in violet uniforms and face masks running after us, each of 
them armed with rifles. They continue to fire at us, their shots 
becoming more accurate after each blast. My body cannot run much longer, 
but despite its wishes to rest, I continue to push myself more. I can't 
let anything happen to my child, no matter what!

Despite my will to escape, my body can run no more. A sharp pain enters 
the back of my leg, the force soon escaping through the front. The force 
of the jolt makes me fall to the ground at this point, my leg unable to 
move. I look at the child in my arms, he is still unharmed, but his face 
is wet with many tears and his arms still wrapping around me tightly. I 
want to save this boy, but my body will not allow me to go any further. 
He must escape no matter what, I only wish I could have helped him 
escape further. I don't want to leave him alone, but...

"Abel, run!" I force myself to give him such an order.

"But Mother...!" the child protests.

"Live, Abel, live!" I begin to recall words that were spoken long ago. 
"No matter what happens, you must live! I... I'll find you. Mommy will 
find you again one day, but for now, run! Run away!"

Live... The boy did live, otherwise he would not be here now; he had 
done what I asked. Wait, what was that just now; I saw it before when 
Elly and I were fighting in sectors twenty-six and twenty-seven of the 
Kukai Foundation. He fulfilled "what I asked," how could he do such a 
thing when I wasn't in existence back then? This vision, why is it that 
I find myself full of sadness and regret whenever I see it? It isn't 
just an illusion though, I know that this memory also belongs to Abel, 
but why do I feel this way?

"I'm sorry," I apologize to the boy, quickly wrapping my arms around him 
so that I may console him. "I didn't know that..."

"...it's okay," Abel tries to assure me, "because I know that she's come 
back to me now," he says in a joyful manner.

"Come back?"

"I knew it when I first saw you," I hear his voice inside my head now. 
"I knew that you returned, Mother."

"Mother?" the word brings back a sense of nostalgia.

"But why are there two of you now?" he asks, his lips unmoving, but his 
voice continues to speak. "Elly and Miang, how can both of you be 
Mother?"

"I don't... understand," I begin to release the child.

"Anyway, do you want to watch TV?" Abel releases me at this point. "Miss 
Yui said it was okay for tonight as long as I go to bed by ten."

"I guess I don't mind, but..."

"Okay, then come on!" he takes my hand, beginning to drag me back to the 
velvet chair.

'...but what is it you mean by "how can both of you be Mother?"'

Abel allows me to sit on the chair first, though I am a bit hesitant to 
sit because there won't be any space for the child to do so if I take 
the space. I end up taking the chair and filling out the seat, but the 
child hops onto my lap after, making it a seat for himself. His hair 
tickles my nose as makes himself comfortable, and I'm barely able to see 
the television set itself with his head in the way. I don't particularly 
mind though, as long as he's comfortable.

We begin to watch the animated show on the television set, though I 
still do not understand the comedic value of the violence going on 
throughout the program. Every time the cat is injured by the mouse in 
some way, Abel ends up throwing a fit of laughter. I don't understand, 
but with every new injury, I find myself beginning to smile and giggle. 
I think the more I watch this program, the more I forgot what the true 
reality of the actions that occurred onscreen would be. Mindless fun, I 
guess this is what people calls this sort of entertainment. I know if I 
were to watch it myself I wouldn't find any entertainment value in it, 
but when I watch with Abel...

"Sad eyes," the boy suddenly speaks during the commercial break.

"What?" his words catch my attention.

"Miang has sad eyes," Abel repeats himself.

"Sad eyes, what do you mean, Abel?"

"Elly's eyes are like a river, flowing and free, but Miang's eyes are 
like a lake, silent and calm. Why are your eyes like the lake?" Abel 
looks up and into my eyes now. "Why are they deep and unmoving unless 
you're with me?"

The boys words pierce me like daggers at this point, to think that a 
child like this would say such things. It's not that I'm insulted by his 
comments, but I'm shocked by the depth of his words and the truth behind 
them. Elly's eyes are like a river, and mine a lake... I never really 
thought of such...

The sound of something crashing into the floor suddenly echoes from the 
kitchen, immediately catching my attention. I turn to the direction of 
the kitchen, my sensors picking up a single life-form, the size and mass 
indicating that it isn't a child that may have accidentally dropped 
something. The way this figure is also moving about isn't something 
becoming of someone who works here either; it appears that they are 
struggling with the now broken object that's now on the floor. Could it 
be a robber or another hostile individual?

"Abel, wait here," I order the child.

"Miang...? What's...?"

"Don't make a sound," I tell the boy.

I hurry to the wall nearest to the kitchen entrance, placing my body 
flat against it. I can hear the individual within speaking with 
themselves, saying things like " that was stupid of me" and "I have to 
get rid of this before anyone finds out." I'm not sure who this 
individual is, but it is imperative that I stop them before they get rid 
of the evidence. I draw my sword at this point, my hand creeping against 
the wall behind me, its fingers looking for the light switch for the 
kitchen. The moment I find it, I quickly flip the switch, jumping out of 
the corner at the same time with my blade swinging inward so that I may 
attack this intruder.

"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!" the individual screams, but my weapon stops the 
moment I realize who it is.

"Miss Itsumi, what are you doing?" I ask, putting my weapon away.

"Huh, Miss Hawwa, is that you?" Miyuki stops screaming at this point.

"Sorry, I thought you were a robber or something," I explain. "But 
what's with this equipment?" I turn to the broken machinery on the 
floor, "it doesn't look like anything Vector manufactured."

The piece of machinery that's now broken on the floor, it looks similar 
to the portable UMN devices Vector creates, but the circuitry and wires 
are not those found in Vector. There's no company label located on the 
exterior part of the device either where it's normally located. I do 
recognize a few parts however, a few microchips that are used for 
communication devices, but these chips are obsolete in today's 
standards. The others I recognize are parts found in the E.S. Dinah, 
parts that allow the user to communicate to others without using the 
UMN. Only one organization comes to mind after looking at these parts, 
it's none other than...

"I see, so you're the spy, Miyuki Itsumi," my voice begins to grow cold 
at this point.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about!" she tries to deny the 
accusation.

"When I was confronted on Old Miltia, they said they already knew the 
specifications for the KOS-MOS Project," I explain. "They mentioned 
spies, and who else fits the description of spy better than you, Miss 
Itsumi. I thought it was rather odd that you were still at the Vector 
Second R & D Division office on Second Miltia when all the other 
employees were home when we freed Elly. Then there was the development 
of the F-SCYTHE which you created for my sister, which was created 
behind the backs of my superiors and the company. Not just the F-SCYTHE, 
but my mother's M.W.S. as well. The M.W.S. may be claimed to be a Vector 
Industries prototype, but I'm sure the real thing exists within your 
organization of Scientia."

"Please, Miss Hawwa, please don't kill me," Miyuki begins to beg now. "I 
still need this job, I...!"

"Need to continue spying, is that it!" I glare. "Do you understand how 
much trouble you've caused for Vector! I'm not going to kill you, but 
I...!"

Before I can say another word, a loud crash is heard from the living 
room area. Scientia reinforcements already? No, it can't be, I'm only 
picking up one reading of a lifeform.

"Miang!" I hear Abel's screaming next.

"Abel!" I forget about Miyuki at this point and hurry to the living room 
area.

I return to the entrance of the orphanage at this point, finding the 
entire living room a wreck. Not only is all the furniture either cut 
apart or destroyed, a giant hole in the entrance has been made as well. 
The level of damage wasn't created by any sort of explosion though, it 
looks like everything here was cut by some sort of blade.

"Damn machines, they take too long to do whatever they're assigned," the 
voice of someone I share a large hatred for speaks.

I turn to my right now to find Abel being held captive, an arm wrapped 
tightly around his neck, almost choking him. Abel tries to fight back, 
kicking and screaming as his fists pound backwards against a large 
leather skirt. A black gloved hand reaches for the cross on its owner's 
outfit, taking it in hand, revealing it to be a dagger, and pointing it 
into the throat of the child in an attempt to shut him up. Abel grows 
silent after seeing the tip of the blade, its owner giving a simple 
smirk after silencing him. She returns the knife to its resting place at 
this point, her hand now brushing against her pale white hair, her 
moss-green eyes glaring at me once more.

"Orgulla..."

----------

XenoMark's Note: Guess we got another cliffhanger here. Not sure what to 
really say at the moment except that it's clear that this fic is taking 
a very different direction than the third Xenosaga game (especially 
after seeing the portrayals of Citrine and Albedo in this chapter). It's 
also regrettable that Elly's been getting her ass kicked a lot lately, 
but we'll turn her back into the badass her video game incarnation was 
later in the fic (to a degree). Well we hope you all enjoyed this 
chapter, hope you'll all be looking forward to the next. We of Team 
KOS-MOS appreciate reviews, but please don't give us flames. Guess we'll 
see you in the next chapter. Later!

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