Past, Present, Future
"Tot?" a soft voice called out over the garden, waking up a young girl whom
was seated under a cherry tree. "Are you in?"
Tot---the girl in question---blinked. No one ever came to visit her
anymore, not since her beloved Nagi moved away. So a visiter was
unexpected, unusual, and highly exciting.
She stood up quickly and brushed the dirt from her immaculately clean
skirt. Not that it even had the chance to be dirty---she wasn't quite the
neatest person around, but when it came to taking care of her clothes, Tot
was the best.
She then reached up to make sure that her hair was still in its double
buns. Her eyes---hidden by a mirage of bangs---glittered at the prospect of
Nagi maybe coming by and surprising her. Even if the voice from earlier
hadn't been his---maybe he was masking it?
Happily, the girl bounced away from the trees and through the messopotamia
of fauna that grew all around in her garden. And it was her
garden---Schoen, Hel, and Neu (her beloved sisters) refused to help, and
Papa was always too busy---so it was all Tot's responsibility. Not that she
minded, of course.
"Coming!" she called, hoping that whoever was there didn't leave. Guests
were such a rarity nowadays....
A grin reached Tot's face when she saw that her guest had short brown hair.
Nagi had hair that color, and about that length. Maybe he'd finally come to
visit her again?
When she reached the ramparts of her white picket fence, Tot realized that
her guest was not her Nagi-kun---but someone of equal love still the same.
"Sakura!" she cried out, tearing the gate open and enveloping her young
friend in a tight embrace. Sakura'd never come to visit her home before!
What a treat!
The younger girl smiled at Tot. It was true that both Sakura and Nagi did
look a bit alike---and from a distance, one could mistake him for her, or
vice versa. Not that Nagi and Sakura had ever even met---they hadn't---but
they were quite alike, at least physically. Both had short, chin-length
brown hair and large eyes, and were considered small and frail for their
age.
That was, though, where the similarities ended.
Sakura was a kind, sweet girl of fifteen, always a little too suppliant in
her speech and very shy. Nagi wasn't so much shy as he was quiet, and he
was only as sweet as he wanted to be, which usually wasn't very.
"Hi, Tot," Sakura said as she pulled away from Tot's extreme hug. Perhaps
it was a little too sluggishly, though it was probably due to the fact that
she'd not experienced a Tot-hug before. "I just came by to visit for a
little while, before I have to go to work... "
Tot nodded. She knew that Sakura worked at a little flower shop not too
very far away, though Tot always did avoid it. It was suffice enough to say
that she didn't get along well with any of its workers (save Sakura), and
that it would probably be dangerous to head over there.
"I've never been to your house before," Sakura said, looking around at the
half-wrecked, half-rebuilt mansion. It was a sight to see, and the bright
sunlight almost made it appear to be an image of a pheonix of sorts, rising
from the ashes of ruin. "What... happened to it?"
Tot pouted. The story was not a pretty one, nor one that she enjoyed having
to relate. Especially to people like Sakura, who had no idea what the real
reason why Tot stayed away from the flower shop was.
"You see... Papa died, a long, long time ago. These really mean men killed
him. And then Hel and Schoen said that we should try and get revenge on the
bad guys who killed him." Without naming names, of course, Tot was able to
tell the story a little easier. "So... we waited for them to come. And when
they did, they killed Neu.... "
Tears formed in her brilliant blue eyes and fell, unnoticed. Sakura gasped
lightly, but her reaction was telescopic in comparison to the reactions of
others.
"Neu... " Tot repeated. "I miss Neu.... "
Unsure of how to reply verbally, Sakura placed a hand on her friend's
shoulder as the two sat down. Disparagement clouded Tot's eyes, but she was
very determined in finishing her story.
"So, we waited again. Schoen and Hel and I, we were going to get them all
back for taking away Papa and Neu. And... when they came... " Tot swallowed
the lump forming in her throat. "We lost."
Sakura didn't understand. "Lost... ?"
"There were more of them... The four that hurt Papa and Neu, three other
mean men, and Nagi. Nagi actually cared, and... he was going to help me."
Tot wiped at her eyes. "But... the men... They killed Schoen, and then Hel.
And they wanted to hurt me, too---" here, Sakura gasped "---but Nagi saved
me." 'Again,' Tot thought. 'He saved me again... Nagi-kun always saves
me... '
"So... I'm all alone. Nagi had to leave, and my sisters are gone, and
Papa... and even our home, too." She cast a look on the malignant-like
building that once stood proud and was now nothing more than a shadow of
its former glories.
Sakura was silent for a while, piecing the information together slowly.
She'd expected a monotonously boring visit, not one full of sadness and
tears. And she'd never expected that Tot would have such a petulant past,
either---she was so sweet and innocent!
"I'm really sorry, Tot," she said finally. She knew that Tot's story was no
make-believe piece of fiction, nor was it a novella---it was the sad and
true story of her life. There was no moral or underlining prinicpal, just a
very depressing past.
"It's okay," the older girl replied calmly. Was she always this calm, or
only when talking about her past? Sakura didn't know, and couldn't tell.
Tot was hard to read at times.
"No, it isn't," Sakura replied softly. She was just a soft-spoken person,
but on this particular occassion... she felt like she was speaking more
plaintively than softly. "You didn't deserve to lose all of them, Tot."
"I didn't lose all of them," the girl pointed out, making Sakura blink in
surprise. Before the brunette could fight her on that, Tot replied with a
quick: "I still have you and Nagi-kun, don't I? So I'm not really alone at
all!"
Tot's smile was big and bright, and Sakura managed a small one herself. If
Tot could be happy, even after all those horrors, then there was no reason
that she should mourn. She'd never even met them, afterall--- though that
was a truly terrible reason for not grieving over Tot's loss.
"Come on!" the older girl continued cheerfully, jarring Sakura out of her
thoughts. "I'll show you around!"
And Sakura nodded, waiting to see just what other new things she'd learn
about her friend today. As it turned out, she learned that Tot had been
living alone for quite a few months, with a small, part-time job with an
old friend of her 'Papa''s. Not that she needed the money---her (foster)
father had been the son of a billionnaire, and the inheiritance was to be
split between herself and her Papa's half-brother---it was much more of
something to do to keep her mind off of certain things.
Like loneliness, for one.
"See? Isn't the mansion pretty, Sakura-chan?"
The brunette smiled at her simplistic friend and nodded, which in turn
caused Tot to grin proudly. She'd even shown Sakura her secret river, and
the small estuary where she and Schoen had picnicked once or twice. For
something so small and musty, it was certainly very pretty.
"I'm glad you showed me all of this, Tot," Sakura told her. The sheer fact
that Tot had consecrated a good two and a half hours to her was gladdening
enough, but that she'd been shown Tot's secret places, well... That really
gave Sakura a much better insight on their friendship. "It really is a
lovely place."
"I know!" Tot replied, jubilant as ever. She was one in a million, that
girl was. "I'm really happy you came by, too, Sakura-chan!" She said in
perfect seriousness. It caught Sakura off-guard at first, when Tot moved
over and stood merely inches away from her. Not so much so that she was
offened, of course, but it was still a new maneuver.
"Um, Tot?" she asked, a little nervous. The way things were processioning
was a bit too fast for Sakura's liking. "I... "
Tot smiled suddenly, and leaned forward, shocking Sakura by actually
kissing her full-on the lips.
The younger girl knew she was blushing madly when Tot moved away, still
smiling, but she actually found herself smiling as well when her hand went
up to meet her lips. "Wow... "
Tot giggled. Always so childish! Then again, she was a child-like person...
"Tot? What was that for?" Sakura asked quietly.
The older girl smiled, but didn't say a thing. Instead she closed her eyes
and sighed, as did Sakura---though for different reasons.
It was frustrating, having a friend like Tot... but at the same time,
Sakura wasn't so sure she wanted to imagine life without her.
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