Killing My Love
Just so you know, this fic takes place during Episode 22, before
Schreient is attacked by Weiß and Schwarz.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: : A dream lasts forever if we dream together : :
: : I don't wanna believe in love anymore : :
-Leslie Parrish, "Killing My Love"
Hell laid her hand on the glass dome. Inside the steel tube was
Masafumi. His face was void of all emotion and expression, but that was
only natural. He was in that gray area between life and death. Whether
or not he would return to life, only time would tell.
She prayed that their efforts were not in vain. They had just recently
lost Neu; if they were successful in bringing back Masafumi, most likely
they would also be able to bring Neu back as well.
It was a small glimmer of hope that distracted her from the fact that
the whole plan was probably doomed to fail. Their hopes were possibly
set too high in believing that they could also revive Neu; they hadn't
even successfully revived Masafumi yet. Tot was the only one who truly
believed that this plan would work; Hell and Schoen hadn't had the heart
to tell her the real chances of success. And yet, they also refused to
let their hopes die. Maybe they were too loyal to Masafumi, or just
stubborn.
Quite unexpectedly, Tot came up behind Hell and tugged on her coat
sleeve. "Rabbi-chan wants to know when Papa will be able to play with us
again," the young girl said, holding up her ragged stuffed bunny.
"I don't know," Hell admitted with a hint of annoyance in her cool
voice. "Hopefully soon."
"Oh, okay..." Tot replied, sounding and looking as if she had just been
rejected. "Papa, get better soon. And then maybe Neu will come back
too."
Hell sighed heavily, but didn't say anything to that. Better to let Tot
believe in hopes that were probably too good to be true rather than let
her be depressed and moody. She had been enough of that after Neu had
been killed.
Tot smiled weakly and then turned to leave the room. She brushed past
Schoen, who had been standing in the doorway the entire time. "You've
become quite cold," the blonde noticed, walking up next to Hell. "Tot
really believes that we can revive Masafumi."
"Why shouldn't she?" Hell retorted without even glancing at Schoen.
"This is practically fool-proof. I see no reason why we can't revive
him. Don't you believe in our ability to do that?"
"Do you?" Schoen's voice was firm, and her face expressionless.
Hell did not reply to that.
Schoen stepped up closer to Masafumi's tube. "Everyday I pray for
Masafumi's full recovery," she began. "But a part of me is always
worrying. I think, 'What if it doesn't work? What if he dies again?'
Maybe it's just that I don't want to go through all that a second time.
I don't want to lose him again. I've had enough misery in my life
already."
"You should have more faith in Masafumi," was Hell's curt reply.
Schoen's green eyes narrowed. "You're too obsessed with bringing
Masafumi back. I want to see him alive again as much as you do, but I
don't think he would appreciate it much if you forgot about the members
of Schreient who are still alive!"
Hell's hand curled up into a tight fist, but she was able to hold her
tongue. Schoen, noticing that, decided that she did not need to invoke a
verbal reaction out of the dark-haired woman. Feeling a smug sense of
satisfaction, the former model walked away, leaving Hell alone with
Masafumi.
Hell relaxed her fingers. The nails had begun to dig into the skin of
her palm. It was true that she had acted unusually cold toward Tot, but
she wasn't the only one who was changing. Schoen was also beginning to
seem more distant, more apathetic. Maybe she was just overly worried
about Masafumi, but Hell felt like it was something more than that.
She let out another sigh. While reviving Masafumi was part of the reason
she felt so tense all the time now, it wasn't the only factor. Schoen
could be considered as another. The scientist had always been close to
the former model, and they had worked extremely well together, but
lately Hell felt this strange feeling toward Schoen. It was very similar
to the one she had felt toward Masafumi.
However, the stronger that feeling became, the colder she became. She
couldn't quite understand that. She knew Schoen was only trying to
comfort her, and she wanted that comfort, but she refused to accept it.
Why couldn't she express these strong feelings properly? Was she
subconsciously trying to suppress them? Was it because she was afraid?
Or ashamed?
Whatever the reason, she had to stop acting so cold around Schoen and
Tot. If she didn't, what remained of Schreient would fall apart, and the
last thing she wanted was to lose anyone else.
* * *
Schoen slammed the door behind her as she stepped into her room. Hell
was beginning to frustrate her. She really did want to revive Masafumi
and get revenge on Weiß as much as the older scientist did, but the
anxiety was making them all tense.
She sat down on a nearby chair and inhaled a few deep breaths to calm
herself. It was unfair to blame all of her stress on Hell and Masafumi,
she thought. Schwarz was also being quite a problem. They kept pestering
Schreient for the comatose Fujimiya girl that the female assassins
needed for their revenge against Weiß.
The former model ran her fingers through her wavy blonde hair. Being
under all this stress would eventually give her wrinkles. But once all
this was over and done with, she would finally have a chance to relax.
And maybe she would be able to figure out her feelings.
A sigh escaped from her as she laid her head back. She knew that Hell
had been the most affected by Masafumi's death. Still, she couldn't help
but feel a bit of jealousy whenever Hell seemed to obsess over him.
She should've been happy that Hell was so determined to bring back
Masafumi, but instead she felt jealous of him. She wanted the attention
that the older scientist was giving him. But why? She wasn't a little
child that was desperate for attention.
Schoen held up her hand and studied her finely-done nails. Her eyes then
traveled upward and observed all the photographs of her that covered the
walls. They had come from various fashion magazines, and she was proud
of every single photo that she had posed for. She knew that she was
gorgeous. She had quite the fine and slender body with such big and full
breasts. Her hair was the perfect blend of wavy and glossy, and she
looked good in any outfit.
Still, none of this beauty mattered if Hell didn't think she was
beautiful. She was dying to ask, but she never had the chance, and it
didn't seem like it was going to show up anytime soon, not with Hell
acting so aloof toward her. She hated that, so she was often cold
herself, even though she really didn't mean to be.
Once, all Schoen had wanted was for the whole world to acknowledge her
beauty again. But now, she just wanted Hell to recognize her beauty. It
used to be that being acknowledged by Masafumi would fulfill her, but
now she desired that fulfillment from Hell.
In frustration, Schoen kicked at the floor. Hell had no right to neglect
her or Tot in favor of Masafumi, and she wanted to get that through the
dark-haired woman's head. However, being cold and sarcastic wasn't the
way it should be done. Maybe all Hell needed was a heart-to-heart talk.
The buxom blonde stood up and glanced toward the door. Whether or not
Hell wanted to hear them, Schoen was going to admit her feelings.
* * *
Hell had not moved since Schoen had left her. She stood still as a rock
in front of Masafumi. Her brown eyes were completely blank, as if she
was in a trance. In truth, she had much on her mind, even if her eyes
did not reflect that. It seemed as if she was waiting for something.
What that was, it was anyone's guess.
This was how Schoen found Hell when she entered the main room. "Hell?"
she called out in a gentle tone.
That seemed to release Hell from her trance. She turned her head to look
at Schoen. "What do you need?" Her voice was not cold, but neither was
it warm.
"I need to talk to you," Schoen answered calmly as she stepped up to
Hell. "It's about us."
The blue-haired woman sighed and completely turned her body to face the
blonde woman. "I figured you might say something like that," she
replied. "And I agree that we do need to talk. But I don't know where to
begin."
"That will probably be the hardest part," Schoen added.
For what felt like a while (although it really wasn't), nothing was
said. It seemed impossible for either of the two women to find the right
words to say. Maybe expressing their feelings through words wasn't the
way to go. Maybe there was another way...
Hell raised her hands and lightly touched the sides of Schoen's face as
the busty blonde laid her hands on the blue-haired scientist's
shoulders. Somehow, this felt so natural, so right, and it was like they
were about to finally express their feelings properly. They pulled
themselves closer to the other slowly and patiently. Was this right?
They wondered about that, but there was no doubt about the answer.
Finally, dark maroon lips met bright red lips. It was a very gentle
kiss, but it freed the feelings that they had kept locked up for so
long. They didn't know how long their lips were interlocked, but they
didn't care.
But like all good things, this kiss had to come to an end. Reluctantly,
Hell and Schoen broke the kiss and stared straight into the other's
eyes. In less than a second, they had wrapped their arms around the
other. However, unlike their kiss, their embrace was rather awkward.
Hell glanced at Masafumi's expressionless face over Schoen's shoulder.
Technically, he wasn't alive, but he wasn't dead either. Was she still
two-timing him then? With this thought, she slowly but firmly pulled
herself out of Schoen's embrace.
"What's wrong, Hell?" Schoen asked, hints of concern visible in her pale
face.
"It's Masafumi," Hell answered. "He's not dead. I don't want to two-time
him."
Schoen tenderly touched Hell's cheek. "You can't deny your feelings,"
she said. "But do you really love him?"
It was a while before Hell replied. She wanted to revive Masafumi more
than anything, but she didn't feel the same passion toward him anymore.
Somehow, Schoen had become the target of her passion. The blonde model
was so beautiful, and there was something else about her, something
special. Still, what was the most pleasing was that Schoen also felt
that way about her.
A small smile came upon Hell's lips. "I think I may have to give
Masafumi 'the talk,'" she said half-jokingly.
"Oh, I think he'll understand," Schoen reassured teasingly. "He may even
like the idea of us together."
Hell laid her hands on Schoen's waist. "Karen, you're so beautiful," she
pointed out in a seductive tone.
"So are you, Chizuru," Schoen added, her voice equally heated. She
pulled herself closer to Hell and their lips met again.
It had been a long time since they had last used or heard their real
names. But it felt nice, and it made their relationship seem more
natural. They kissed more passionately this time, and they felt like
this was truly the right way to express their love.
* * *
Tot looked down out the window of the upper level and watched happily as
Hell and Schoen shared such a fervent kiss. "Everyone's so happy now!"
she said cheerfully to her stuffed bunny. "It was sad when they were
fighting, but now they like each other again."
Her smile became even wider, but it did carry a bit of sadness. "And
soon, Papa and Neu will be back, and then we'll all be a happy family,
exactly like we used to be!" She hugged her stuffed bunny close, just as
Hell and Schoen held each other tightly.
Back to Weiss Kreuz Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction