Black and Blue from the Game of You
**Lyrics from Wild
***Lyrics from Not A Virgin
> Lyrics from Haunted
>>Lyrics from Control
>>>Lyrics from Hey Pretty
>>>>Lyrics from Amazing
All songs listed by Poe off the album Haunted
About this fic: I was listening to this album and many of the songs
just reminded me of Kozue from Utena, so I decided to write a fic. But
I wanted to do something interesting so I asked a friend to throw out
some interesting people for Kozue to be paired with. The list was
pretty interesting; people from Utena and a few other series came up
and then… She went and did something silly and added to the bottom of
the list: Kanoe from X (oh that would just be weird). I revel in
uncannon pairings and the mere suggestion of it being weird sent the
wheels in my head turning. The rest is history. This is my first
crossover fic. It is also my first Alternate Reality fic so be on the
look out for cameos from various other anime as well. I really hope it
meets expectations. Let me know if it does not. Thanks to Jilly-chan
for the inspiration. Thank you all for reading.
***************************************
And out of the dark
Straight to my heart
I find you like it better
When I am bitter
Still I'm feeling kind of used
Black blue and bruised
Lost under your smile
Lost in the long waiting while
The trials of truth under the lies
The lines of gold placed on the sand
Tricks and traps that fall at your command
Yes… it's all too true
I'm beaten, black, bruised and used
Unforgivably blue
Lost deep within the game of you
Slow and crowded that was how the club was. Smoky lights bringing
something of truth from the darkness. The chatter of inane
conversations echoing past the low and steady sound of a weary
trumpet, singing of loss. She had her place. A small table
respectfully hidden from view where no one could see her; yet it was
angled so that she could see everyone. Her ocean blue eyes flitted
over the random groups of people. Searching for prospects that would
make her evening grand. Finding amusement in the tiny absent and
unrefined way the men and women in the crowd would flirt with each
other. The simple dance of seduction that very few got right, most
stumbled, placing steps that where never necessary. Random points of
interest took her from one moment to the next as the music shifted to
something light and airy. The redhead near the bar trying to pick up
on the stoic bartender with the graceful and perfectly curled auburn
hair was something that made her giggle. And then there was dark and
wolfish figure of a man, nearly princely, but mostly devilish who was
playing his own sort of games with the ladies that flocked to him. She
sighed. It was a dull evening. No one worth playing with amid the
rampant beauty and she wanted to play. It had been ages since she had
a proper challenge.
Slender fingers drummed silently on the table as she shifted her view
to the stage. Bright and shining like a star the young man at the
piano played songs to suit the mood. It made her a bit sick to her
stomach all that light. The genius on stage had everything, and she
wanted to be happy for him. The night was too heavy for her though and
even with a lonely melody he shone too brightly for her tastes at the
moment. She sniffed ready to make her exit through the desperate
masses. She gathered her purse and began the muffled walk out.
She was halted by the bartender, "Leaving so soon Kozue?"
A bit of a weary grin tugged at her lips as she inched over to the bar
to reply, "There's nothing for me here I'd rather not waste the night
listening to my brother play for the rabble."
The bartender smiled as she washed out a glass. "What about the wolf
over there?" She asked hazel eyes leading a trail to a huddle of
people.
"No Juri not him… not ever again. He's far too caught up in playing
the prince and the devil all in one package. Fairytales and happy
endings can not fool me now, and really that's all he has. Illusions
of something I can see right through", Kozue stated over the low
rumble of the room. "I'll see you around."
Outside the light fog rolling in off the bay clouded the satin night.
The light and cool walk to the car was enough to sober her from the
heat of the club and the haze of alcohol she had consumed. The defeat
of leaving so early on a Saturday night without prey stung at her
insides. For the first time in her still young life she wondered if
the game was worth the effort. It was the lack of something new that
made her want to quit. There was nothing she had not done. She'd been
broken and used. She'd been cruel and taken what she wanted and there
was little left that surprised her. She was a predator surrounded by
willing victims, but what fun was it to hunt if at the end of the
chase the prey merely collapsed in exhaustion, ready to be devoured?
"No fun at all", she sighed as she slid into her car.
As the door slammed she started the engine and raced away. Winding
down the streets to think and maybe stop somewhere new. Perhaps that
was her trouble. Perhaps she just needed a slight change in scenery.
**So this is what it's like living in Limbo
First I'm high and then solo**
Much to be expected there was nothing exciting to keep her interest,
and so truly defeated she decided to just spend the rest of the
evening at her quiet spot. And her quiet spot was, to the outside
observer, anything but.
Pulsing through the concrete walls was the dim echo of the release
that waited inside. Music and colored lights bouncing from every which
way. Over loading the senses and making her feel whole as the rhythm
captured the beat of her heart making her move and sway without care.
The bouncer at the front gave her a broad smile as, free of charge,
she entered her cathedral. Her holy place of worship that whispered
salvation with every haut breath. Meditation incarnate as she slipped
into the crowd of gyrating bodies, all ripe and pert with perfection,
young and eager. All reaching for something in the noise, the movement
of the dance floor. Calling out their needs to the gods of the
turntables. Hoping their prayers would be answered as the next song
faded into existence.
Kozue loved to lose her self in the sea of familiar faces who had long
forgiven her for her sins, past and present. The adoring bodies she'd
hunted and caught and the very few who had caught her. Since the
pretty age of fifteen she had graced the neon lit dance floor of the
club and still with all the new trends and fads this was her true
home. The solid rock and foundation that had helped to mold her into
the wild creature she had become.
After a long turn on the dance floor she came up for air, ascending
the industrial style staircase to the bar. She took a moment to wipe
the sweat from her brow as the bartender retrieved a bottle of water
for her. He smiled impishly as she gulped down the cool liquid,
consuming over half the bottle in less than a minute.
"Hey wild thing might want to slow it down a bit", he mused. "The
dance floor isn't going anywhere."
Her deep blue eyes narrowed a moment and then a slight grin formed at
the corner of her mouth. "Give me another will ya", she said and then
finished up the bottle tossing it playfully in his direction.
"Here you go"; he handed her another bottle. "Where you been hiding
kiddo? I haven't seen you around for a while."
As she unscrewed the cap she smiled replying over the all consuming
pulse of music rising from the dance floor below, "I've been out
hunting where my brother makes his living."
"Oh yeah? Find anything interesting out there", the bartender asked
ignoring the calls he was receiving from the other end of the bar. He
glanced over his shoulder and yelled to the patrons daring to
interrupt his conversation, "Look! Make it yourself if you it want it
that badly!"
"Honestly Duo you never change", Kozue sighed.
"And neither do you kid", he replied a bit of concern lingering in his
tone. "You look tired."
"I am."
"Then go home."
She shook her head; "Even wild animals have to pray Duo. I came to
pray." She took a sip from her water. "You worry too much about me you
know?"
"Well I can't help it kid. I got attached to the little cub who
prowled around my club. It's human nature to care, even for things we
can't seem to tame." His smile slipped away slightly, remembering the
years gone by. He was a few years older than she was, and while he
knew her to be cruel and often vicious in her games… He loved her like
a brother.
"Thank you for the water, Duo", Kozue said slipping from over crowded
bar.
Her heart eased back into its normal rhythm as she lingered on his
concern. Despite her dislike of sympathy Duo was a good friend to have
around. She supposed that if she were tame she might have ended up
with him in a small little house surrounded by kids. And while the
thought made her slightly ill she wondered if one day settling down
would make her happy. She tried not to brood over it sinking into the
call of the choir as she descended into the sea of dancers. Forgetting
all concerns hoping her time of reflection and meditation on the dance
floor would revive her. Make her feel again, and chase the wear of a
lifetime of hunting into oblivion.
**So tell me what you've come for
Moving like a hunter through my back door
Leaving the perfume of all you adore
To die nameless on the floor**
"Last call! Last call for alcohol!" Duo's voice blared from above.
"Last call kiddies! No more intoxicating fun after this! Come and get
it while you can!"
His voice pulled her from her quest. Reminding her that she was no
closer to answering questions she hated than when she had arrived. And
as the miniscule exodus from the dance floor wrapped around her,
bodies fighting to indulge in one more sweet and bitter sip of
luscious sin, she came fully into her senses. Having been lost in her
need for silence and prayer she had never noticed the eyes that
watched her, playing up and down her form with each move she made. She
stopped. Glanced up to the bar and glimpsed the creature that dared to
devour her with eyes alone. Ocean blue eyes wide as she recognized
hunter smiling down at her, cunning and seductive.
**You've got some nerve to come back here
You're not the only one who can smell fear**
***I can see right through you
On a cloudy day and darlin' I think you wanna play***
She stalked up the steps to the bar, fighting the masses grabbing for
the last drink of the evening. The rush of the music and her memories
making her heart beat in off rhythms. It was something she hadn't
experienced since she was very young. And all the while as she
approached her destination she felt the pull of deep amber eyes
playing over her. Kozue pushed a young dancer out of her way, politely
rude in her need to confront the hunter.
"Isn't this place a little beneath you", Kozue asked as she stepped in
close. Deep blue eyes regarding the woman before her with a slight
arctic tinge.
A soft and broad smile swept across the woman's lips as a perfectly
manicured hand swept through long dark ebony hair. "It is terrible
isn't it", she replied. "I'm here to watch someone."
"Oh?"
"Yes and not you", she mentioned flatly.
"Have your sights on a new engenue then?"
The chuckle that left the woman's throat was a light cross of
sincerity and wicked intentions. "No. Technically I'm a chaperone."
Kozue fought her natural instinct to laugh out loud and merely grinned
a bit. "So who are you 'chaperoning'?"
"The DJ."
"The curse of being such an obedient secretary", Kozue quipped. "I had
no idea Satsuki the Beast had rich parents."
"Rich uncle", was the swift correction.
Both women shifted their focus to watch the young DJ on the upper most
platforms. Kozue was highly impressed with the young woman's skill at
presenting interesting mixes and crowd pleasers. The past bit at her
heels though and she wasn't ready to just fall into a game. So Kozue
exhaled a deep breath and with tact let fly her walls of protection.
"Well I'm sure you'll be happy with whatever you do with her. She
certainly meets your age requirements, Kanoe", Kozue said softly, not
shifting her gaze in the least.
"She's older than she looks."
"So was I."
A dark eyebrow perked as Kanoe offered, "Want to take a turn at her?
Her nickname is quite the opposite of her personality though… she's
rather shy. Music and computers, measures and numbers that is the
world she's comfortable in. Still I bet you two would get along
nicely"; she paused to add softly. "You could share terrible stories
about me over coffee."
"I'm not here to play-"
"No you're here to pray"; Kanoe intruded gently.
**You've got a lot of nerve to come back
Plan your attack and I am still waiting
Did you want something**
"Tell me what you've come for", Kozue asked as she leaned against the
railing taking in the pulse of the music, eyes drifting over the
thinning crowd. "What you've really come for?"
Kanoe looked over the young woman's face and replied, "I came to be a
mock chaperone." Catching the scathing look from Kozue she added,
"Really and truly, no lie no and no game there. Although I must say…
seeing you out in the crowd… that was an added bonus."
Brown eyes locked on blue as the whisper of an offer floated to the
surface like a strange song.
"Don't think you can play with me like you used to", Kozue warned
softly.
"I'd never dare. You have an interesting reputation these days."
"No more interesting than yours."
Kanoe inched closer, "The night is practically dead in the water
Kozue. Don't you want your prayers answered?"
"Not by you." She sighed amending, "Not tonight."
"Defeated by the night so early in life", Kanoe breezed. "How sad…"
A light smirk replaced Kozue's defensive; "Trying to challenge me will
not make me change my mind. Try something a little more dangerously
true it's much sexier and has always looked good on you." She stepped
in close, "But if you want to play with me Kanoe I'd just like to
remind you… I'm not a virgin anymore."
"So you're not." Kanoe's eyes drifted over to the DJ platform and
catching an interesting glance from the young woman at the turntables
whispered, "Maybe we should continue this later then. When you're
ready to play."
Ocean blue eyes caught the nearly jealous and sad look from the DJ
still meticulously spinning records and her heart dropped a bit. That
look reminded her of her first encounters with Kanoe. She shook her
head a bit a replied softly, "I think later would be much better.
Don't want you to have to leave anyone in the dust on my account."
>And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head <
There was barely a crowd at the bar, but then it was a Tuesday night.
Even the yuppies rushing from the office were too caught up in the
early week pressures to sit and have a drink after work, or even
listen to a bit of jazz. She wasn't there to do anything but think.
Stirring olives around an untouched martini as she watched the people
outside scurry to their homes, wives and children, lovers and personal
computers. Her mind was working over Kanoe and what she was going to
do. If she was actually going to play and then how the game should go.
It was a hard decision to make. Kozue shifted her gaze and noticed the
bartender looking her over with a curious eye. She forced a smile as
the stoic barkeep padded closer.
"So you do realize that not drinking that martini is an insult to my
skills and a waste of the best vodka money can by", the bartender
lightly joked, hazel eyes trying to capture Kozue's problem.
"Yes well don't worry Juri I'll finish it…eventually."
"Hmm…well we'll see", Juri smiled and then it faded as she found
something in the young woman's meditative state. "It's not like you to
be in here on a weekday."
"I know", was the soft reply.
"So you come to think or do you actually want advice?"
"I'm not sure. I think I came for both", she paused and took a sip
from her drink. "Did you have a nickname in high school that just
stuck with you?"
The auburn haired beauty considered for a moment, "I had a few."
"What were they?"
After a long moment of consideration the barkeep let fly with, "I was
known mostly as The Panther, but there was also Fallen, and Angel,
devil a few times… hard to keep track of all of them. Why do you ask?"
"I was Wild…" She clicked her tongue and continued, "The rest of the
nicknames I earned in high school were far less endearing. I asked
because I was wondering. Just curious and maybe… I dunno. I have a
game to play and I'm not sure I'm up to it."
"Doesn't sound like you not to face a challenge."
"It's not about a challenge Juri. It's about the past and the only
person was ever allowed the privilege of really hurting me", Kozue
confessed. "Why'd I just tell you that", she asked herself.
Juri shrugged, "Maybe you needed to say all that out loud. Actually
hear what you fear."
"I'm not afraid", was the quick defense.
"No?" An eyebrow arched and then settled as she offered, "Maybe you
need to stop playing games. Stop hunting and settle into something."
"How boring…"
"Wouldn't be boring if you found someone as wild as you to settle
with", Juri whispered.
Kozue grinned wolfishly, "That an offer?"
"Maybe."
"I like maybes"; Kozue whispered "Maybe is always a yes waiting to
happen."
If I'm lost
Then I'm bitter
If I'm cruel
Then I'm sweet
Oh but you know too well
The end of it all
The things that make me crash
The things that make me fall
At the heart of it all, beneath the feelings of hurt and pride was a
five- year age difference. In the end when the game from the past was
broken into its simplest pieces it was a sixteen year old heart
breaker trying to keep up pace with a twenty-one year old mistress of
the cruel. That's all it was and all it could ever be. Maybe not
exactly innocence lost but for Kozue it was definitely a wake up call
to what being hurt was. What being dragged through the mud of her
emotions could do and how in the end… With all her new walls built,
rules placed, and cruelty replaced… how her heart betrayed her by
wishing to be so near the one person who could break her.
And of course new and waiting like a simple dream was an offer from a
panther she never imagined she would get. Kozue couldn't decide which
offer sounded better. To seek a sort of vengeance and find a way to
break Kanoe, or to fly into something that was less dangerous and yet
surprisingly exciting. In the end there was only one place to seek
such retribution and she wondered if she would be allowed to meditate
further on the problem or if all possibilities would be halted by an
elegant lady's cool presence.
**I go wild
'Cause you break me open
Wild
'Cause you left me here
I go wild
'Cause your promises are broken
Wild
When I feel you near**
A small crowd was already gathering outside the inviting dance club
when she arrived. There were still twenty minutes to wait before it
was officially open but as always Kozue passed through the line into
the empty cathedral with ease. The bouncer at the front smiled a bit
when he saw her.
"What ever happened to being fashionably late Kozue", he asked
politely.
"I'm never late, Fuma. I'm always right on time for everything", Kozue
replied with a grin. "You know that."
He laughed, "I do."
Quick steps took her from the entrance of the club up the steps to the
bar where Duo and the club's owner argued over an unimportant issue
concerning lighters. They didn't even notice Kozue step up and lean
against the bar, listening with some delight at the quick back and
forth.
"Don't be insane", Duo said. "Everyone knows Zippos are better than
normal throw away lighters."
"That's not the point I'm trying to make", the owner huffed as she
brushed back her deep violet hair, green eyes sparking in the dim
light.
Kozue let a chuckle leave her lips, broad grin taking her over as the
two finally noticed her presence.
"Do I even want to know what brought up this little argument", Kozue
asked.
Duo shook his head replying, "Ms. Valentine is trying to prove that
her little disposable lighter is cooler than my Zippo."
A violet eyebrow arched, "And Mr. Maxwell is losing because there is
nothing cooler than this lighter."
She held up the lighter. It was a simple disposable thing but it had a
picture of the band Swordfish II on it. Before Kozue could comment Duo
dug out a Zippo lighter in the shape of a robot from one of those
Japanese cartoons he was so interested in.
"I can see where the debate comes into play"; Kozue uttered with a
fleck of sarcasm. With a shrug she dug into her small pillbox purse
and took out what looked like an expensive pen. She flicked the bottom
of the pen open and pressed a tiny button that produced a good-sized
flame.
"Well", Duo said with defeat. "There's a lighter you don't see
everyday. " He glanced at the owner of the club and continued, "I
think the kid has us beat Faye."
With a sigh and a roll of her emerald green eyes Faye wandered off
muttering, "I know I have something better to do."
Duo chuckled and then moved closer to Kozue with a large smile on his
face.
"What's shaking kid?"
"Nothing much", was the soft reply. "Who's the DJ tonight?"
"Some new guy… Wu-Fei something. You know I can barely keep up with
these guys there are so many? Any reason", Duo asked still jovial and
bouncy.
Ocean blue eyes shut briefly, "Just wanted to know what my evening was
going to be like."
He lost his smile then, "You're gonna play tonight aren't you?"
"Don't look so disappointed in me. You know how I am… you know how I
have my fun." She looked into his baby blues and sighed, "Of course
this isn't gonna be fun."
"Anyone I should know about", his concern clear and uncaring of her
need or want for it.
"Kanoe's back."
His eyes got wide and before he could speak she shook her head.
"Don't do that", Kozue whispered. "I won't get hurt."
He sighed, "That's what you said last time kiddo."
"Last time I was too young and stupid to see her for what she was."
"You still are young and stupid."
"Don't argue this with me. I saw her last week and we have unfinished
business."
"Please Kozue", he pleaded and it caught her off guard. "It was hard
enough watching you after what she did to you the first time. I don't
want to ever have to see that side of you again."
"You won't", she promised. "I'll make sure of it."
**You're not the only one who runs on instincts
Yeah I've got instincts of my own**
She was dancing when her senses kicked in. The feel of seductive deep
amber eyes playing up her, moving closer, hoping to surprise. Kozue
was all too aware of the approach though, and did her best to hide
herself in the crowd. The music was appropriately exotic, something
primal about the beats and rhythms that worked through the dance
floor. Purposely losing herself as she felt Kanoe near, inching so
close she could have blindly pulled the older woman into her. She
didn't want that though. She wanted Kanoe to feel she had the upper
hand. So Kozue shut her eyes and let herself be captured. Smiling as
she heard, "Hey pretty wanna go for a drive"; whispered closely into
her ear.
A soft gasp left her lips as she replied, "I'd rather dance a bit
more. Wouldn't you?"
Kanoe pulled Kozue closer, her elegant hands brushing through the
young woman's topaz hair. "It's all part of the game love. If you
think it gives you an advantage to keep me here then we'll play that
way."
"We both know"; Kozue offered, wrapping an arm around the older
woman's near perfect waist. "You don't play fair."
"I guess you really think you've got me there."
"No", was the quiet reply, her lips so close Kanoe's pale neck she
could practically taste her. And in the midst of the play Kozue found
her heart dipping into betrayal, reminding her how sweet and tart the
older woman's skin tasted beneath her tongue, like raspberries. She
took an unnoticed deep breath and gathered her purpose. And her
purpose was to win, and winning meant being the one in control at the
end of the evening. Being in control and having the older woman
desperate for her.
>>While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
While you were tearing a hole in me<<
It was a slow business day for a Friday night. So Faye went down to
the bar to see if Duo could use any help pouring drinks or
entertaining the rabble. Along the way she spotted Kozue dancing and
her eyes practically bulged out of their sockets. Before she could run
onto the dance floor and investigate further she felt a slight tap on
her shoulder. She spun around and came face to face with Duo's impish
grin.
"Hey there you are", Duo beamed. "I was just gonna ask you to come
down and- What's wrong?"
"Look on the dance floor and tell me I'm imagining things", Faye
replied a bit green.
"What are you talking about?"
"Tell me that's not Kozue and Kanoe dancing like the past five years
have never happened", she begged.
"Hate to burst your bubble but-"
"What the hell is she thinking", Faye erupted.
"I think that actually may be the problem", Duo mentioned. "I already
had a talk with her about it but… well you know how she is."
Faye huffed and stomped off towards the bar, "I need a drink… and a
cigarette… and maybe another drink."
Duo followed after her curious about the strong reaction. "Faye? Faye
wait!"
"What?" She asked harshly stopping in her tracks.
"I didn't think you cared about Kozue that much."
"I don't… Wait?" She looked puzzled. "Kozue?"
"Yes Kozue", Duo replied now even more puzzled than he had been
before. "Kanoe ripped her heart out the last time. Who are you talking
about?"
Faye twitched slightly and then shook her head. "Kanoe… last time...
or after with Kozue. She was well… all broken."
After a few moments of silence, people buzzing about them, music
swelling an odd moment of clarification hit.
Faye bit at her bottom lip. "This isn't gonna be good is it?"
"Nope."
"So Kanoe broke Kozue last time huh?"
"Yup." Duo replied with a nod. "And Kanoe was broken after what
happened with Kozue?"
"Yup."
Duo sighed sadly, "And now they're both on the dance floor playing a
game to make the other hurt."
"Looks like."
Duo threw his hands up in defeat, "I need a drink… and a cigarette."
"You don't smoke."
"I do now."
** You wrote the rules to try an contain me
You broke 'em now you've untamed me**
She liked the winding roads best. Ones that swerved into sharp curves
and dangerous turns as she took her car like she took everything, to
ultimate limits. She shifted in and out of gears occasionally glancing
over at the young woman who sat silently beside her. Watched ocean
blue eyes linger on the stars or the moon, reveled in the way the wind
picked up through Kozue's short hair. The way the wind had always
moved around the girl as if she controlled it. Kanoe slowed a bit as
she neared a turn the highway patrol liked to frequent. As much as she
tried to feel in control she had played the game long enough to
realize that Kozue held all the cards. She found it amusingly
appropriate that the roles had reversed. She pressed her foot on the
gas wondering if the roles would reverse all the way through. If
everything she had done to Kouze would come crashing back to her like
a tidal wave. Kanoe almost wished she could know the complete out come
of such a thing. She shook her head at the sudden doubt. She couldn't
afford losing to Kozue. She had to prove a point about her heart.
"Are you taking the long way", Kozue asked absently.
"No. Why do you ask?"
"I don't seem to recall you living so far from the club", was the
swift reply.
"I've moved since then."
"Ah… On to bigger and better, more expensive apartments?"
"House", was the gentle correction.
"However do you do it being a secretary?"
Kanoe grinned, "Perfect secretaries have interesting secrets they have
to keep. It's serves as a nice little bargaining tool when it comes
time for pay increases."
Kozue chuckled, "Blackmail… How fun."
"It's only blackmail if I have to go out of my way to find a secret,
and most are conveniently dropped into my in basket." She watched the
smile on Kozue's face grow a bit. Finding it interesting what
impressed the young woman now that she was a bit older.
>>>I am the soul architect
I built the shadows here
I built the growl in the voice I fear<<<
The house was bigger than Kozue thought it would be, and settled
neatly on possibly the most expensive piece of ocean view property
Kanoe could afford. Mostly modern inside and out with a slight
Japanese feel. The large mural on the living room wall was impressive
and almost too appropriate for Kanoe's style as it depicted a large
and elegant black dragon about to descended on an unsuspecting
village.
Kozue sat in the living room patiently as Kanoe busied herself in the
kitchen pouring two glasses of wine. Listening to the sounds of the
house beneath the polite background music. Outside the wind was
howling threatening to become fierce, causing a wind chime somewhere
to sound. She shut her eyes and enjoyed the song that played at a low
level unclear what she was going to do. If she was going to do
something so simple as refuse or tease was beyond her knowledge. Kanoe
entered just at the right time and oddly Kozue found need to keep
herself in check as the older woman glided over to the couch. Sitting
with elegant purpose as she put the glasses of red wine down on the
coffee table.
"Nice house", Kozue commented quickly taking up her glass and sipping.
"Thank you. Took me a while to get it but… I think it was well worth
the scrimping and saving", was the reply polite as it was.
"How many secrets does it take to get a house like this?"
"Quite a few", Kanoe grinned. "And a picture of the CEO in a pair of
black fishnet stockings"
Kozue giggled as she asked, "Do I even want to know how you got the
picture?"
"I told you", Kanoe replied softly. "Things just have a way of ending
up in my in basket. She took a sip of wine, amber eyes locked on blue
ready for an attack. "What are we playing for Kozue?"
"Don't know… What did we play for last time", was the curt reply.
"I really don't remember", Kanoe's voice had a hint of regret
lingering in it. And something else, like sadness perhaps but it was
hard to tell. It was always hard to tell. Her eyes grew a bit dark as
she added, "Do you?"
"No." It might have been a mistake but Kozue inched a little closer.
Her knee in close contact with Kanoe's, eyes locked on the look that
crossed the older woman's face. "So… What do you want with me?"
"I think I should be asking you that. Don't you agree?"
"Maybe", she paused to take in her position. She still held the cards,
but only because Kanoe was letting her. She didn't trust it. "What do
you want right now?"
"Silly girl…"
The ease with which she turned the tides was remarkable. Kozue found
herself beneath Kanoe's polite weight. Lips so close it was painful,
and the look in the older woman's eyes just a bit more than lust, more
than regret or sadness.
"I broke all the rules to have you", Kanoe whispered.
"What rules?" She was tempted just to take. Surprise her sudden captor
but she wanted the answer.
"My rules. Rules anyone who plays the game has to keep safe", was the
swift reply. "And I broke them all because of you."
"Does it matter", Kozue whispered back. "You still broke me. The only
one who could and the only one who can even now… But that's just it
isn't it?"
Their lips met then. Leading to things neither was ready for, kisses
that forgot the game, caresses that were not meant as play. It felt
like revenge, and it was possible for revenge to be as burning with
love as anything else could. What crueler thing was there than to
break what one loves. It was possible it was just lust, something left
over from the past, but it felt deeper. It burned. Burned as Kozue
tore away to look deep into eyes that wanted her.
"It's funny"; Kozue began. "I could leave right now and know I won,
but I won't."
Kanoe recaptured young lips, growing frustrated as they once again
departed.
"Don't you care that I've won", Kozue asked. "Doesn't it matter to
you?"
Quickly Kanoe sat back, brushed back her hair and said, "You won when
I broke you five years ago. You won when I broke all my rules to have
you. When I made myself leave you because I couldn't be kind. I still
don't know how to be kind. I don't know how to settle. But I know how
to keep girls like you from getting bored." She traced her fingers
along Kozue's jaw line. "And you where so bored when I found you.
You're still bored aren't you?" She kissed the top of the young
woman's forehead. "Nothing out there you haven't done." She moved
lower pressing her lips into a flushed cheek. "Nothing to really
challenge you." Lower to the neckline, where she lingered for ages,
slowly tugging up Kozue's blouse. "No game you haven't won." The
blouse suddenly found itself flung far across the room. "And if all
prey falls to your willing command", she paused to trace a few light
patterns along the satin of Kozue's bra with her fingertips. "If that
happens there's only so many things a wild creature like you has left
to do."
If it was torture Kozue showed no signs of it. She wasn't bored with
the seduction, but she wasn't falling into it, as she would have years
ago. She waited to see if Kanoe could offer anything new. Taken by
complete surprise when the older woman removed herself completely and
walked away. She lay on the couch bewildered and intrigued, ocean
blues eyes wondering what her old foe was up to. After a few deep
breaths she sat up.
"I hate being teased"; she whispered taking a large gulp of the wine
on the coffee table.
>>You may be king for the moment
But I am a queen understand
And I've got your pawns and your bishops
And castles
All inside the palm of my hand<<
It was instinct alone that her to the bedroom. Instinct because the
house was that big and because Kanoe left no clues as to where she had
retreated to. It was a short chase, but unlike other games that had
ended quickly, the chase dying with capture, there was something all
too exciting about hunting down Kanoe in her own home. Opening the
door Kozue slowly entered realizing that perhaps it wasn't a hunt so
much as a trap, and an easy one for a hunter to fall into. Without
much hesitation or wonder Kozue was soon prey to Kanoe's wanting lips.
And with all her strength she took for a bit and then released the
young woman with a sigh.
"I can't let you win", Kanoe whispered pulling Kozue close.
She chuckled into the kiss that threatened to take her. Near
breathless as she replied, "What is winning Kanoe? Is it taking and
breaking me again?" She pushed her weight forward so that the two feel
into the plush comfort of the bed. Taking the slightest control as she
laughed, "I'm not inclined to believe anything you say to me. Not
inclined to listen to your promises broken as they are. How do you win
if you know I can go when I like?"
"But you can't", Kanoe answered. "You had your chance to leave. You
followed me instead, and I knew you would…You hate being teased, as
much as you tease others, you hate it being done to you."
An elegant hand reached up to touch a still young face. Kozue let it
bring her down. It wasn't losing. It was compromise, because at that
point neither could claim a clear victory over the other, try as they
might. The betraying wish of her heart let her glide into a deep kiss.
Let her delicate fingers trace down a porcelain neck, work away
unnecessary fabric, and in turn have the same done to her. Ocean blue
eyes eager, lost under the feel of satin sheets gliding across bare
skin, and Kanoe… Yes Kanoe in all, her perfection, elegance, wisdom,
and beauty trapped beneath her and wanting. And just before Kozue let
the world vanish into swirling intoxication she whispered close,
"There go the last of your rules."
Oh it's all too true
I'm lost black blue and bruised
Lost in the game…of you
It was easy to lose she found. Easy to let go of what the game was
supposed to be. The minute the heart wanted something more it was
over. The game was lost. Waking she knew it to be true, but she had
known the same thing five years earlier when she had done the same
thing. Amber eyes fluttering open in the darkness, ears catching the
sound of Kozue's soft breathing, and the feel of the young woman
wrapped around her. She wanted to believe that in the morning when the
sun shattered everything, Kozue would still be there, but she knew
better. And unlike her past folly Kanoe wasn't going to try and keep
her favorite girl captive. She shut her eyes again, savoring the
moment and the memories. Remembering how that very first time she
wanted nothing more than to wake each morning wrapped up in a wild
embrace, and how the very thought of settling frightened her into
breaking everything. It was easy to lose everything to her heart. Easy
to forget the game she wanted to play. But things were finished and
she would have to find another bored and wild thing to settle with.
>>>>It's amazing to me but I can't
Seem to say what I'm doing here
My tongue is all twisted around the air
I'm looking for words that were so well rehearsed
But I can't find them anywhere<<<<
"Oi! Juri! Another round!"
The stoic beauty quirked an eyebrow at the over excited and happy
young man at the end of the bar. She poured him a pitcher of beer and
shook her head as he grabbed it from her.
"You're the best!"
"And you're annoying Sorata. Couldn't you and your friends find
someplace else to celebrate", Juri asked with a huff.
"Nope. This is where Arashi is making her debut"; he beamed. "Besides
sis I thought you'd be happy for me. After all I am your only brother
and besides… My hot girlfriend gets to play with the famous Miki
Kaoru."
A slight grin tugged at her lips, "Go sit down before you burst… and
mind your friends don't tear this place apart. This isn't some rag tag
bar for frat boys."
Sorata leapt off with his pitcher of beer in hand. Juri watched him
happily bounce around wondering what it would take for him to actually
calm down a bit. She shrugged and made her way back down the bar,
filled orders and then took up her position leaning against the back
counter. The door swung open and hazel eyes watched as Kozue entered
and plopped onto a barstool. Juri sauntered over and just waited.
"So?"
"So", she whispered.
"Game didn't go well"; Juri questioned.
"It went the way it was going to go", Kozue replied.
"Then why do you look like someone took you and threw you into the
ocean?"
"I dunno", Kozue replied. "Maybe I wish things could have been
different." She paused and muttered, "Why am I telling you this?"
ocean blue eyes catching the almost mournful way hazel caught her.
Juri busied herself making a martini and mentioned, "It's an exciting
day you know? Miki finally agreed to let Arashi play with him. I think
after a week of Sorata harassing him he just caved in."
Kozue chuckled, "He never just gives in. I'm sure she's very talented
though." She looked at the perfect martini sitting before her and
grinned a bit. "Thank you for the drink."
"The least I can do."
"Juri?"
"Yes?"
Kozue thought for a moment before sighing and asking, "When's your day
off?"
An auburn eyebrow perked, "You actually asking me out?"
"Maybe."
The stoic barkeep laughed and replied, "I like maybes. Maybe always
means yes."
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