The Easy Answer and the Right Answer
What she ought to do, really, was marry Guy.
It wasn't that Princess Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear was not paying
attention to what was going on at the diplomatic council she was
attending. Far from it. Her mind was acutely aware of each and every
word her father said while addressing the gathering of high-ranking
officials from the New Order of Lorelei and Kimlasca, just as it had
been for the speech that the order's visiting dignitary, Fon Master
Anise Tatlin, highest member, founder, and visionary of the new
religion, had made before King Ingobert, and just as it would be for
whoever's turn it was to address those assembled next. Not only that,
but Natalia was fully following what two of the priests a few seats away
believed to be a private conversation by reading their lips. If she had
needed to, she could have split her attention further to follow two
other conversations, as well, without any real detriment to her ability
to understand their meaning, analyze them, and make future plans
accordingly. Though not born to the position of royalty, Natalia was
unquestionably born for it, and being a master of diplomacy and politics
at only twenty-three years of age was one aspect of this natural
aptitude.
And really, even if she hadn't been paying full attention to the
meeting, it wouldn't have mattered very much. This tri-annual parley
between her kingdom and the new major religious military power of the
world didn't have very much it needed to accomplish. Times were, simply
put, good. Kimlasca had been on excellent terms with the Malkuth Empire
ever since the incident five years ago that had ended with Vandesdelca
Grants's death. In addition, thanks both to Anise's keen mind for
raising funds and Natalia's willingness to support Anise's cause, the
government of Kimlasca was the New Order's biggest financial supporter,
so there weren't likely to be many problems raised and conflicts created
in this meeting by anyone in the New Order.
So, Natalia was comfortable to let a small corner of her mind wander
from the council back to the dilemma that had been bothering her:
marriage, family, and succession.
Actually, that wasn't exactly right. It wasn't a dilemma, or even a
problem. Not yet. None of the various nobles in power in Kimlasca had
begun to make even the slightest of whispers about the subject, and the
general populace seemed to have as little interest in it. She was still
quite young, and her father was still ruling in good health, so there
was really no rush at all in the kingdom's mind to marry their beloved
princess off and secure an heir to the throne through the joining. The
people of the world still had many more pressing concerns born of the
aftermath of Van Grants's actions even now, so the fact that the
arranged marriage between Natalia and Luke had been mutually annulled by
both involved had gone almost unnoticed by the kingdom's inhabitants.
The pressure Natalia felt to settle this matter was entirely
self-created. But feel it she did, because even if no one expected it of
her right now, they were eventually going to, and Natalia would much
rather have come up with a solution by then, rather than be pushed into
a decision by limited time and circumstances. It would be much better
if, by the time they were showing concern about the future of throne,
she was already involved with, or perhaps even secretly engaged to, a
suitable candidate. Thus, Natalia gave herself a sense of urgency over
the matter, for she could much better negotiate such a need for haste
with herself than she could with a kingdom's worth of nobility.
Natalia's father had finished his speech, and now it was the Fon
Master's turn. Regardless of her high, holy position now, Anise Taitlin
was as fiery, demanding, and crafty as ever, and even as she spoke and
made her intentions and wishes seemingly embarrassingly obvious, she
always had a concealed motive that she was shooting for. This made it
entertaining for Natalia both to listen to Anise's addresses, and to see
if she could figure out that one hidden element to them that Anise was
secretly driving at before someone at the meeting uncovered by
accidentally falling into her verbal trap and agreeing to it. So, for
now, she put her thoughts of succession and marriage to rest, to be
resumed later.
------------------
Yes, she truly ought to marry Guy.
Her arrows' aim would suffer for her mental concentration being devoted
elsewhere, but Natalia devoted more time to combat training each day
than she needed to, anyway. All three of the Kimlasca-based companions
from the world-changing incident did. By mutual agreement, Natalia
devoted an hour or two at noontime each day to practicing battle skills
and keeping limber and in shape with her friends, Luke and Tear fon
Fabre. Of course, even though it was an invigorating and overly
enjoyable way to spend time daily with them, Natalia often found herself
as she was now, practicing her marksmanship alone as the young new duke
and his wife sparred alone several feet away. But that was fine, because
such occasions gave her more time to consider this problem.
Politically-speaking, Guy was a perfect candidate, from all angles.
First and foremost, he had good experience with the nobility and ruling
class of Kimlasca, having spent so much of his life as a servant of Duke
fon Fabre. At the same time, though, he'd always been detached by the
distinctions both of class and of true nationality, so he would, if put
into position of king for the country, have a better chance of
maintaining a healthy distance and thus be a more fair and objective
ruler.
He was also, of course, a prominent noble of the Malkuth Empire, so
marrying him would be an excellent way to better bind the two major
countries of the world together. It was not that they were having any
significant difficulties, or even that any seemed likely to arise in the
future, but Natalia did like to plan far in advance against any
potential problems. Continued good relations between Kimlasca and
Malkuth would be an ongoing necessity in their rapidly changing world.
Yes, both in the public's eye, and in her own, any such union between
Natalia and Guy would be, if nothing else, a perfect political marriage.
As was often the case when the Fon Master was visiting, Anise had
arrived at the training ground now, and wanted to replace Tear as Luke's
sparring partner for a time. Natalia ceased even her pretense of
practice at this, and sat down to watch the match. These days, Anise was
quickly becoming the best fighter of their small old group. Now that she
was a young adult, she herself did battle, employing a set of unarmed
martial arts with moderate skill, while still fully controlling her
doll, Tokunaga, as a separate combatant. Her control over Tokunaga was
no less effective in combat than it ever had been, so any foe she faced
now would have to deal with two adversaries, one as strong as ever and
the other always improving her skills. Natalia estimated that Luke
would, at this rate, find himself out-classed in combat in no more than
half a dozen further visits.
Regardless of who would emerge the winner, however, the matches were
always entertaining to see, even to one who did not hold any special
interest in combat, and so Natalia put her concerns aside for now to
watch.
------------------
She really should marry Guy.
The castle garden she walked through was gorgeous, as it always was at
this time of year. Bright color studded a lush green background with
every flowered sprout, bush, and tree Natalia passed. The hum and bustle
of busy insects and small animals throughout the garden provided a
background orchestra to the songbirds' choir.
Natalia, however, was not paying very much attention the natural beauty
around her as she walked the path. Just as the creatures around her
concentrated on their roles in nature's kingdom, she concentrated on her
own one in this human kingdom.
She certainly should have no personal complaints about a life with Guy.
Few people, she knew, were better men than he. He was kind, considerate,
and courteous to all, yet a hostile and unforgiving opponent to those
who threatened him or the people he cared for. He was fiercely loyal and
had a strong will, but at the same time, he had an open mind and could
be moved to reconsider his ideas and opinions. He was agreeable and
humble; still, he was no yes-man, and would stand up for himself and his
beliefs when challenged.
Natalia could, she thought as she stopped to admire some particularly
vivid golden blossoms, go on, but there really wasn't any need to. He
was, suffice to say, an excellent example of balance, a mix of many
character traits, all moderate and attractive, none leaning too far into
an extreme to become a flaw instead of a virtue.
And of course, Natalia had a terrific personal history with the young
man. A courtship by or of Guy would not be one between two people who
had only recently met, as was the case of most of the princess's other
potential marital options. She and Guy had known one another for most of
their lives. In addition, each had opened up and revealed themselves
during their journey with the others in one another's presence, and
matured as people at the same time, giving each a deeper understanding
of the other (along with the rest of their adventuring partners at the
time) than many happily married couples ever would have.
Overall, Natalia was quite confident that a life as Guy's wife would be
a pleasant and happy one.
In addition, though it was naturally only a pleasant bonus rather than
any significant reason, Guy was, to be sure, a strapping specimen of
man, handsome and well-built. His roguishly unruly but well-kept blond
hair, bright blue eyes like a clear spring sky, and a face with strong
definition offset by its friendly, casual smile, all atop a physique
balanced between strength and tone, and poise and masculine grace... all
that, combined with a good sense of style in what he wore and a natural
way of wearing his attire well, made him an irresistible catch to most
women, and certainly Natalia could not pretend that she did not also
find him quite attractive. Although such factors were not serious
considerations for her, the fact that few men could compete in terms of
physical beauty to Guy certainly did not hurt his chances as a marital
candidate.
The princess looked up then, hearing the energetic steps she had been
expecting. There were not many moments of Anise's day in which she could
do as she pleased, particularly not during her diplomatic visits;
however, the young woman usually managed to set aside enough time not
only to spar with Luke, but also to walk through the castle gardens with
Natalia and, on some occasions, Tear as well. Spending time and catching
up with each other in a serene and, more times of the year than not,
beautiful environment was one of the highlights of their friendship, and
always an enjoyable, though short, release from their concerns and
duties.
Indeed, her marriage concerns were already rapidly fading from focus,
her mind more than happy to concentrate on pleasant conversation with
her friend.
------------------
She should marry Guy.
Foolish hesitation in this matter could cost her what appeared in most
ways to be an ideal match. Natlia was confident that she would be able
to court him successfully, for their special bond was already so strong
and nurtured that taking it to the next step would be almost effortless
for either of them...provided no one made a claim to one's heart
beforehand. And while Guy was still, to Natalia's knowledge, uninvolved
with anyone in his home country, that surely could not be so forever.
Women even now were fawning over and pursuing him--he would never
mention any such thing himself, of course, but Natalia and Guy had
plenty of mutual friends who had made mention of it to her. He kept all
at an arm's length (literally) thanks to his lingering discomfort at
being close to women, but he was ever better coming to terms with his
fear, so it would not hinder him for long. He would surely not just dive
into a relationship immediately, of course, but still...Guy was an
opportunity that would not wait forever.
Such were her thoughts as she sat in the splendid, private pew for the
royal family in her castle's somewhat newly constructed church. As the
new religious order that Anise now led had become more cemented in the
general affairs of Malkuth and Kimlasca, it had been deemed necessary by
its Fon Master that the castle itself should have an appropriate place
of worship for the New Order of Lorelei. Anise's plans for it had been a
little too extravagant for Natalia's tastes, but the people themselves
had been in general agreement with her ideas on its construction, so she
could not object. She had noticed, though, that much of the place of
worship's decorative splendor seemed directed to the central pulpit,
where the priest or priestess would be standing. Not entirely
surprising, of course, given Anise's perhaps unhealthy interest in
riches and splendor. That was one thing that had not changed about her
with age, and probably never would, even when she easily had access to
more wealth and resources now than even Natalia did.
A hush fell across those gathered in the church as Anise entered. As was
tradition, the Fon Master would personally address the lawmakers,
nobles, and rulers of Kimlasca on the first evening of her diplomatic
excursion to the kingdom--a rare treat for most, for there were few
assembled here who could afford the time to often visit Daath Cathedral
to hear her personally what the New Order now called Score Sermons.
Anise had reached her place, and now began speaking. Natalia once again
shunted her marital concerns away for a moment so that she could fully
concentrate on the sermon. Anise was, in spite of her usually less than
serious nature, a very intense and moving speaker. She had great
charisma when she addressed others as a religious leader; even those who
personally knew her, like Natalia, Luke, and Tear, agreed that Anise's
spiritual lectures could weave a spell over them.
As Natalia listened, she could feel herself being lost in the sermon, as
always. When one got right down to it, Anise had not really recreated
the Order of Lorelei at all. The New Order of Lorelei used many of the
ideas of the previous religion, the most obvious one being the idea of
there being an unfailing, divine Score to be read that could guide
anyone and everyone in their lives. Yet Anise had merely used this
familiar concept of divine fate, which the world had already depended
upon and was not ready to cast aside in place of an unknown future, and
turned it around to empower the people to choose their own fate without
their even realizing it (once again, Anise's certain talent for giving
her audience exactly what they wanted while secretly moving them exactly
where she wanted them). The New Order of Lorelei now held Lorelei to be
the same divine, guiding being as ever, but that it was found within
each person's mind and heart, and that it was there that a Score existed
to be read and followed. It was now by looking within, rather than
looking to another, that one the best way to live and the right
decisions to make. Rather than blindly follow the words of mysticism and
supposed destiny, they now lived by their own choices, encouraged to be
true to themselves rather than mindlessly obedient to the order. Of
course, many qualities and laws were touted as universal to the inner
scores--tolerance, earnestness, and (of course) generous donation to the
New Order, for example--but still, Anise had transformed the Order and
its followers from being founded on unquestioned dependence to the
foundations being self-reliance and the never-ending questioning of
self-assessment. Quite a feat, but she'd had the drive, sharp mind,
charisma, knowledge of the system, and friends with resources to make it
happen. And Natalia genuinely believed the world was better for its
change in beliefs.
Anise continued to preach the virtues of being honest with oneself, and
Natalia listened on.
------------------
There was every reason in the world to marry Guy. But Natalia never
would.
She wouldn't because his touch could never make her feel this way. If it
were his fingers traveling down the princess's soft flesh in the candle
light, she would not thrill every time they halted their aimless trek to
prod, to dance, to squeeze, to tickle. She would not let out a gasp, a
tiny gasp of inversely intense passion, if it were his hands that sought
her breasts and made sport of them. And if it were his carnal kiss
between her thighs, she would not shiver from contentment alone, nor
feel a pleasure born not only of the sensations the action awoke, but
also of the mere knowledge of who had performed it and evoked them. And
afterwards, as she lay in joyful repose, enraptured by the leftover
bliss of orgasm, it would not be him that she sought to hold close to
her, taking such comfort from the warmth of another's pressed
affectionately against her own.
She wouldn't marry Guy because it was not his visits to her home that
she looked forward to year-round. It was not him who she watched with
focus undivided, not him who she talked to with her mind nowhere else,
and not him who she listened to with a mind empty save for the speaker's
words. He was not the one who could always take her mind away from her
concerns and troubles, the distraction that gave her the strength to
stay focused.
Regardless of how perfect he might be in both worldly and personal
aspects, she wouldn't marry Guy, because he was not the one Natalia
loved, sought love from, and made love to.
Her lover was kissing her now more aggressively than a moment ago, the
small kisses to Natalia's cheeks and neck becoming less quiet comfort
and more needy desire. Natalia's hand was held, and led down between her
companion's legs, leaving very little question of what was desired of
her.
"In a moment, Anise...let me catch my breath," the princess murmured,
her words piercing the silence that permeated her dimly lit room, a room
isolated by its light and the sounds of the two womens' breathing from
the rest of the dark, quiet world of midnight as though it were another
world altogether.
Anise nodded, recognizing the momentary fatigue that comes with several
loves made in succession, and let go of her hand, letting it lie softly
on the sheets of a bed almost as bare as they were. As though she were
as eager for Natalia's companionship as Natalia was for hers, though,
Anise could not resist interacting with her in a different way in this
momentary rest period.
"Has something been bothering you today, Natalia?" she asked.
"...Just the usual," Natalia replied reluctantly.
Anise sighed and rolled her eyes. "Why are you still worrying about
that? I told you, I'm working on it. Just be patient. I may be Fon
Master, but even I need a little time to set the New Order up to accept
something as crazy as letting girls marry girls and guys marry guys. No
one's even thought of the idea before; everyone just had the Score help
them find the person they should be with. But I'll get it worked into
the doctrine soon enough, and then you can get Kimlasca to support it. I
know I'm not an important noble from the empire most likely to ever be
your country's enemy, but I'm still pretty sure that no one's going to
have any real objections to the political advantages of you marrying
yourself off to the Fon Master herself, right?"
Probably not. Still, that wasn't the only consideration. "Yes, but what
about an heir? That's usually the biggest reason for a country wanting
their prince or princess married."
Anise shrugged, clearly not at all concerned with this obstacle. "So
adopt. Do you have any idea how many orphans the New Order has had to
look after since our journey? Kids lost their parents on all sides. They
need homes and families," Anise pointed out.
"I don't think that would go over so well with the nobility," Natalia
told her.
Anise gave a snort not very characteristic of a lady or a leader of an
entire religious order. "I don't see how they can object, when their own
princess is already one herself."
She had a point, though Natalia doubted that convincing those opposed
would be quite so simple. But it did seem feasible, if not easy. She
sighed. "I suppose I've just been worried about the timing. No one's
pressuring me about marriage yet, but they might start any time now. I
could only realistically hold the demands of my subjects off for so
long...what if you can't get the New Order to go along with you by then?
What if I can't get Kimlasca to follow my urgings to accept unions like
that? What happens if it just doesn't work out, and it takes so long to
find out..."
"Natalia," Anise half interrupted, half filled in the pause, "I love
you. You love me. We want to get married. That's all there is to it. The
details we'll work out, and yeah, some will be tougher than others, but
that's life now. It's not a simple solution, but it's what we want, and
that's what matters."
Natalia was silent for a few moments. Then she leaned forward and kissed
Anise softly. And then broke it off, in favor of several other kisses,
delivered increasingly lower than the first. Anise grinned, even while
letting out a tiny moan. "Got your resolve back, hmm?"
Natalia nodded, and moved her hand to where Anise had earlier desired
it. She played Anise's pleasure as a musician did music, having an
intimate knowledge of her instrument and song from many previous
performances (a few even, shamefully enough, dating back to a few months
before Anise was at the Kimlascan age of assent of nineteen!). She made
the other woman's moans into her personal Score to follow, and took
pride in her single audience member's enjoyment, more so than usual, for
her mind was now far clearer of doubts and future fears than it had been
for quite some time.
Anise was not as arrestingly attractive as Guy, nor did Natalia truly
know her half as well. She was not the ideal political match, and
despite her own experience with power and authority, she did not know
what it was to rule a country as a head of government, nor the nuances
of Kimlasca's court. The issue of an heir would surely be a hassle, with
the easy solution being difficult to make accepted. And it might be that
no timely solution could be reached with her. Yet, Anise had been
correct. The important thing, in this new world of self determination,
was not convenience, what would be easiest or work out the best. What
felt right, what she knew she wanted, was to be with Anise. There were
many obstacles to clear on that path...but she resolved to herself to
stop looking longingly at the easier paths around her, and pave the road
to what she wanted.
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