A Brief Moment of Lasting Happiness
"This ends my report, sir," I finish, bowing formally to the bearded man
sitting thoughtfully before me.
"Thank you, General," Lepant tells me, inclining his head slightly in a
brief, polite nod. "And I trust that General Valeria and our forces were
of adequate use, Mr. Yamamoto?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Freed bowing deeply to my left.
"Indeed, my lord. The tactical cunning and fierce courage of Valeria and
the bravery of your soldiers were instrumental in our victory. It was an
honor to serve beside them."
There is a distinct, earnest tone to his usual precise and calculated
voice that allows no doubt that he means each word. A man--a military
one, no less--from South Window expressing gratitude at having had the
Toran Republic working alongside him, when only months ago he and every
other man from his lands still nursed a heavy grudge against my country
for our past conflict with South Window and Tinto.
War is strange that way. It's born out of misunderstanding, anger, hate,
greed, desire, power-lust, and so many other divisive characteristics of
humanity. Yet through the experience of it, you can also find many forms
of compassion, understanding, love, devotion, and forgiveness that aren't
seen during times of peace. Had this man not fought back-to-back with me
in furious combat on the battlefield, if he had not been a leader in
desperate need of help that we gave freely in a gesture of friendship as
a neighbor helping to protect his home from another, would he have ever
been able to feel such brotherhood to people of Toran?
Maybe, maybe not. I'm no philosopher at heart, merely a soldier. All I do
know is that it gives a warm pleasure to see old foes turned to new
friends this way. If there must be conflict and suffering, then I hope
there will always be brotherhood and courage to be found at the same
time.
"Thank you very much for handling this matter, then, General," Lepant
tells me, nodding formally once more. "You may go while I speak with Mr.
Yamamoto about future relations with the new Dunan."
I turn to go, but am stopped by Lepant giving a sheepish cough. "Oh, and
Valeria," he adds in an embarrassed tone, "I don't suppose you know when
Sheena plans to return home, do you?"
"I'm afraid not, sir."
He nods and thanks me once more, and I exit the room. As the doors close
behind me, I finally have a chance to take in the rich splendor of the
palace from which the land of Toran is ruled. I'm not one for
extravagance, but nonetheless, the polished floors, the posh decorations,
the regal glint to everything, they all call to me somehow. They give me
a sense of comfort and familiarity .
I suppose this feeling can be traced back to a few years ago, soon after
our forces defeated Emperor Barbarossa and won control of this country.
There was a need for quick stability then, and part of creating that was
properly organizing a state military. The politicians amongst us decided,
for whatever complex reasons politicians have for all that they do, that
simply reinstating the Empire's old generals would not be enough, that
there had to be new generals as well. Before I knew it, I was promoted
from a common soldier to one of the highest and most powerful military
positions in all the country.
I smile at the remembrance, amused at my own reaction to it as I walk
down the corridors. Obviously, I was greatly surprised by it. I had only
ever been a lower-ranking troop; serving as a regular military warrior
had always been my goal in life. And here I was, offered the rank of
General and pleaded with to accept it. I accepted it, of course. After
all, if nothing else, a good soldier knows that it's her responsibility
to do whatever task is needed of her, and if it was believed I was needed
as a General, then it was my duty to be one.
But for a period of several weeks afterward, the responsibilities and
tasks before me were all but impossible for me to perform and cope with.
I was flustered constantly, and I dislike being disorganized and
confused. And the more I was, the worse it got. Of course, considering
the hectic chaos of rebuilding, reclaiming, and remaking an entire
country quickly enough that its people don't become discontent and
dangerous, I'm sure it wasn't only my new job alone that caused my
confusion and impatience.
But in those many times when it seemed like too much...I would often just
stop what I was doing, and simply look around myself. See where I was.
Once a lowly soldier who turned against her superiors to do what was
right, and now, a General working alongside some of the finest people I
have ever known to do exactly what I'd joined the army for, what I'd
always lived to do: serve my country. The name might change, the leader
might change, but in the end, it was still the same thousands of people
living in the country that made it a nation. And this fine, sparkling
palace was the home of those whom they trusted, whom so many had fought
and bled and died for to provide a better life for all.
And it may seem odd, but rather than the knowledge that thousands
entrusted their lives to my efforts and decisions burdening me with
doubt, it always instead lifted my shoulders higher and gave me
inspiration to drive onward. And that is what sustained me many times,
until finally enough time had passed that the country stabilized and I
became more used to my functions and duties.
Of course, I consider as I stop by the entrance to one room in
particular, there was another factor, as well. I got a lot of help from
the experienced and able General Sonya Shulen after a time, as well. Her
guidance to me even as she dealt with her own affairs in that busy time
was immensely helpful to me.
I walk over to look into the office I stand by. As I had hoped, Sonya is
sitting in her office. It seems that she's come back from Shazarade while
I've been in Dunan, and is now busily speaking with General Kasumi and
Instructor Kai about some sort of official business. More than likely a
regular meeting to go over various military reports and field data on new
recruits. I don't wish to interrupt them, so I continue on my way through
the palace to the front gates.
Yes, the reason this place is comforting to me is likely tied to my
memory of using its significance to bolster my own confidence. Of course,
a small part of me would also like to believe there is another factor. As
strong and practical a woman as I am, I still cannot help but
occasionally entertain a small bit of giddy emotion, so I'd like to think
that part of the comfort of this palace is that it's where I first got to
know Sonya. A small, romantic idea of love at first sight, if you will. I
know it's not at all likely, of course; I only really started to fall for
her a year and a half after she and I first became well-acquainted. And
though I didn't waste time in denying the feeling, I also didn't pay much
attention to it for a few months. My attention was focused on my work.
Despite all this, though, I still like to imagine that this palace's
appeal comes from the start of our relationship within its walls. I've
few enough girlish qualities that I can be allowed this one, I think.
A warm, breezy Spring day greets me as I make my exit from the palace, as
do the busy sounds of town life from Gregminster. Children playing,
people gossiping, the faces of familiar friends...it's good to be back.
Dunan Castle was a place of camaraderie and hope, but I much prefer an
atmosphere of peace and prosperity.
As nice a day as it is, however, at the moment I just want to relax at
home until I resume my standard duties tomorrow morning, so I walk
quickly to our house and enter. The house is bright and clean, with a
fresh smell that I've come to recognize as being at home. Sonya has
always employed three very dutiful and skilled maids to keep her home
organized and clean since she's often away at Shasarazade or wherever
else Lepant feels that she's needed. That's not changed since I began
living with her, for that matter, since I'm away as often as she.
I'm pleased to see that the maids are not here today (though I wouldn't
have expected them to be, for Sonya and I give them most days of the week
off when we're home in Gregminster). They're fine people, but I'd just as
soon have the house, and Sonya, to myself today. After the couple of
months she was at Shasarazade and the time that I've been in Dunan, all I
really want is to spend some time alone with my lover.
Of course, I can't do that until she's finished with work for the day, so
for now, I just quickly look over the house's interior. It's good to be
home. I wander over to our bed, thinking to perhaps take a nap before
Sonya returns, and notice her diary lying on the table. She writes very
infrequently in it, but it seems that she's made an entry since I was
home last.
I quietly read it to myself. "Returning here from Shasarazade was
agonizing. Of course I realize memories weren't put on this earth just to
comfort us, but..."
Sonya's uncommon entries are never long, but they don't have to be. I
sigh, put the journal down, and sit upon the bed. This is nothing new for
Sonya...for some reason, the return home from her fortress always reminds
her of the past, of Teo McDohl. Perhaps such a trip was where she first
made his acquaintance, or perhaps it was when she first learned of his
death. Or maybe it's something else altogether, or perhaps there's no
real reason for it; I don't know, and it's not my place to ask.
I lay down and look up at the ceiling, taking comfort from its
familiarity even as I consider what I have just read. I have long since
ceased feeling the occasional jealousy for how Sonya still mourns Teo's
death; it's foolish of me to feel such a way, after all. She loves me no
less because of her mourning, and just because we have each other doesn't
mean that she should forget her past love for someone who was taken from
her by a cruel twist of fate.
But just because I do not feel jealous doesn't mean I'm not concerned.
What I want is for her to be happy, and it pains me to see such a strong
and good woman feeling such pain at times still. Unfortunately, I've
learned by now that my concern does me little good...there's nothing I
can actively do to help her beyond simply being with her. I'm a person of
action, so that's a hard thing to accept, and not made any easier by the
fact that I'm NOT able to be with her many times because of our jobs...
I didn't know I'd fallen asleep, but I must have, for the next thing I
can clearly sense is two lips I know softly pressed against mine in a
light kiss. Partly consciously and partly by instinct, I kiss back, my
eyes fluttering open slowly to take in two blue eyes, so strange and yet
so well-known to me. Only one person has these eyes, so naturally kind
and soft, yet with that gentleness having been tempered to be hard and
strong.
"Sonya," I murmur as she draws away.
"Welcome home, Valeria," she smiles.
I sit up, then get up off the bed and enwrap my arms around her, pulling
us close together. "I'm glad to be home," I tell her quietly.
"And I'm glad you're back," she answers, laying her head to rest on my
shoulder. "I've missed you, Valeria."
I nod, and my cheek caresses her blonde hair as a result. "I missed you,
too."
"How did things go with the City-State?" she asks as we draw apart.
I shrug. How does anyone sum up something so immense? "It reminded me a
lot of our civil war, just with two actual countries instead of one split
apart. Many familiar faces like Flick and Viktor, and some of the new
ones seemed to remind me of people I knew from our war, too."
She nods, and begins to organize some paper work on the desk that she
must have brought home with her. "I had a meeting with Lepant a few hours
ago about it. He seems very pleased with where this could lead for our
country and theirs. Sounds like my general did an excellent job."
I cannot help but give a small smile. "All thanks to you."
She waves a hand in dismissal as she finishes sorting the papers. "You
would have gotten the hang of things without my help just fine."
"Maybe. I'm glad we don't have to test that theory, though. How was
work?"
"Tiring," she sighs, letting some exhaustion she was keeping back be
shown. "But thankfully uneventful. I was planning to take a nice bath,
actually. I could use it."
I nod. Now that she's mentioned it, I realize that I myself would like a
hot soak in the tub, as well. The trip from Dunan Castle alongside
several thousand soldiers is too difficult a one, but still long. A shame
we couldn't have used Viki to teleport us all, but she can only handle
small groups at a time. Besides, no one has seen her since the victory
feast. She's probably wandered along her way like many of the others in
the castle.
"Sounds like a good idea," I remark. "I think I'll get one after you."
"Oh, let's take one together," she suggests, stepping over to me again
and laying her hands on my shoulders. "It'll be nice, and save time,
right?"
As if I could refuse an idea like that. "Sure," I reply, smiling as I
lean forward to give her cheek a peck.
She nods and separates from me to go upstairs and get the water running.
While she does so, I retrieve an apple from the pantry--my nap has left
me hungry, and it'll take a few minutes before the water's ready. As I
idly eat the fruit, my eyes wander over to Sonya's diary again. Oh, yes,
I'd almost forgotten about that...I should probably talk to her about it.
Sometimes I wish I were as able with words as she is.
The water's stopped, and I'm finished with my snack. I climb the stairs
up to the small second floor of Sonya's home and enter the bath room.
Sonya has just finished disrobing, giving me a view of her bare back as
she walks to the bathtub. She's a truly beautiful woman...strong, taut,
lithe arms and legs, feminine in their delicately narrow width, yet well-
toned from battle, whether in practice or earnest, with well-defined
muscle. Her beautifully flowing blonde hair could be the pride of any
noblewoman, yet it runs down over a strong and sinewy back, already
marked with many past battles' scars. She's always been unashamed for me
to see them, and I, for one, think that the scattered contrasts they make
to her otherwise smooth skin is beautiful in its own unique way.
She steps into the large basin and sits, sighing contentedly. Her head
turns, and her gently hard blue eyes fix on me. "Come in with me,
Valeria..."
I nod, not really having even have needed that single invitation, and
begin removing my clothes. Before long, my skin and its own scars are as
bare as hers. I walk to the bathtub where she waits with a dreamily
relaxed expression, and carefully step into the water. It's hot, but not
to an unpleasant degree, and I lower myself to sit in front of her, the
water level just reaching the bottom of my breasts. I sigh as the warm
water already begins to calm my form and relieve tension I hadn't
realized I was carrying. I lean back until I rest against my lover's
front, letting my head lie on her shoulder. I watch her quietly, and she
watches me, lifting up her hand to gently give my cheek a moist caress.
For the rest of my life, I may remember this moment, this contented
feeling of love and peace, as one of the best I've ever had.
Still staring intently into my eyes, she lowers her lips to mine, giving
me a very faint, yet all the more poignant kiss. We do this for a few
seconds, and then she breaks away slowly, laying her head back against
the edge of the tub and closing her eyes. I don't move, but rather look
at her hooded eyes, feel the gentle rhythm of her warm body move slightly
back and forth against mine, and feel the slight breeze against my hair
as she breathes.
There are many people who have compared their lovers to angels in such
moments of calm and peaceful bliss. But Sonya has no divine innocence to
her, no ethereal wings sprout from her even figuratively; her body is not
smooth and flawless, nor soft and elegant. She is bound by mortality to
live and toil on the earth, and not to dance the skies of inquisitive
ideals and innocence eternal.
I don't love any angel. I love a human, and I could never settle for
anything better than her.
A few more minutes pass before I reluctantly break this peace. "Are you
okay, Sonya?"
Eyes open, a head rises, and Sonya's unique gaze is on me again. "What do
you mean?"
"I read your journal..."
"Ah," she responds simply, yet there is a profound sense of clarity and
meaning in this short syllable. "I'm fine, Valeria. The memories are
always hard, but there's nothing seriously wrong. Don't worry."
"I wish I help you somehow...do more for you," I say earnestly.
I feel the exquisite sensation of her hands gliding to encircle me
beneath the heated waters. "Being with me is the best help you could
offer me, Valeria. Please, don't think otherwise."
After a moment, I nod. My regret is not absolved, but I accept my
strength and limitation here. If she tells me that I should not worry
about it, then I can do nothing else but focus my mind elsewhere.
Like on the way that her hands, having reached one another on my stomach,
are ever so slowly drawing a path upwards. Without a word, I accept her
unspoken offer and let her continue, waiting for them to reach their
destination and enjoying the faint tickling sensation of their brushes as
I do. I suddenly see and realize that my nipples are plump in
anticipation already for her approaching touch, and that I'm breathing
quickly. Having laid here so close to her, our bodies pressed together,
has been affecting me whether or not I noticed before. The knowledge sends
a pleasurable shiver throughout me, and I'm certain I can hear and feel
Sonya give ever so small a chuckle as she feels it.
Perhaps because I've unconsciously made my desires known to her, her slow
path speeds up and reaches my chest within a moment. There, they content
themselves with letting each of their ten fingers spread apart and begin
dancing calmly across my globes, ticking and arousing me with the
sensation of being teased in ten different places at once. I quietly
murmur my appreciation and push myself back slightly, seeking to be
closer still.
Her play doesn't last for long, and surprisingly enough, I'm actually a
little disappointed at its exit, even though she replaces it with a
higher degree of pleasure when she begins to run her hands back and forth
over my nipples. Back and forth they glide, like a wave of the very water
we sit in...a playfully mischievous wave, which begins to move its
motions gradually to let her fingertips take over the stimulation. Yet
again, my love changes her tactic, and with one hand begins to lightly
pluck at my right peak with thumb and forefinger, sometimes rolling it
between the two digits.
Sonya is no angel, but I do sometimes wonder if she can be a mind-reader,
for her other hand has apparently heard the jealousy my sex has begun to
feel over its neglect, and reaches down through the water to begin
stroking its outer lips slowly. I grunt slightly, pleased at the feeling.
Once again, she takes her cue from me, and two fingers stray from their
friends to enjoin within me, stroking me from the inside like I am
stroked on the surface. The feeling is strong, and it's good. And it
doesn't stop, this deliciously sensuous feeling of her fingers swimming
within me, sliding through the water and against my core with pleasurably
devious intent.
But it's even better when, while that happens, she moves her thumb over
my clitoris. I give a slight start as electric pleasure is conducted
through the water and my skin.
And that's only the initial grazing. Sonya begins to move her thumb over
my bud again, and again, until it's become a continuous motion, with the
forceful pleasure coursing through me in a continuous wave. No longer is
this just an act of simple loving, now the air is charged both with
romance and the erotic. She's pressing harder against me from all sides,
the water providing exquisite lubrication and letting her move faster and
faster, and it's so much more than I can bear as I writhe and small
groans escape me despite my best efforts. Finally, my body releases me
from this happy tension, and bliss washes over me like the turbulent
waves of water, stirred from our passions. My seas calm, the storm is
over, and I lay back to rest in Sonya, my safe harbor.
My eyes seek out hers above, and my lips move. "Thank you," I say, so
softly that even I cannot hear it.
But whether she can tell my meaning from the passing whisper, or simply
knows from my lips, her face and eyes smile and respond, "It was my
pleasure."
"No...that comes now."
I lift myself forward, my surge creating another in the still-warm water
around us. I carefully turn myself around, taking care not to slip, and
reach outside the basin. My hand blindly seeks for a moment before
brushing against the small box I want. Still without eyes to guide it, it
undoes the clasp and opens it, reaching within. I draw my hand up,
holding the contents which we both know well.
Sonya's soft smile takes on a more enthusiastic tone as she looks at what
I have. It had not been an easy object to obtain in a country in which
everyone knows both of our faces, but a past diplomatic visit to a
neighboring nation many months ago had provided all the opportunity we'd
required.
What I grasp now is a slightly curved light blue cylinder made of glass,
a little over half a foot long. There are slight irregularities in the
otherwise smooth and flawless glass, small bumps in it in a few places.
We've never been sure if that's intentional or simply poor craftsmanship,
but either way it's definitely appreciated, particularly by Sonya. This
can be a lot of help to her when she's at home for weeks or even months
alone while I'm off on military business. While I do enjoy it myself,
she's particularly fond of it--she generally enjoys having something
larger and more solid than fingers to clench during sex.
I lean forward now, supporting myself with my free hand and knees, to
kiss her, driving my tongue into her mouth to poke and prod at her own.
It's a passionate meeting, but short-lived, as I pull away a few inches
and bring the dildo down through the water to rest against her inner
thigh.
Sonya brings both arms out of the water to grip onto the sides of the
bathtub, then bends her legs to bring her feet flat against the bottom.
Keeping her balance with her arms, she lifts herself a little and moves
slightly so that the dildo's end is against her entrance.
I look in her eyes to make sure she's ready for it, and she nods, her
breathing irregular in anticipation. After all, she must have become
aroused herself while passing love to me before. I carefully begin to
prod and probe her folds with the glass object, seeking careful entrance
within since neither of us has a hand free to spread her further open.
After a few moments, I'm satisfied with where it is and gently push it
deeper.
The effect is quick and strong. She murmurs a soft "Oh!" and closes her
eyes in pleasure. I smile at being able to give her such a feeling, and
move it a little out, then push it in again, now going a little further
with my thrust. This time, she uses her grasp on the sides of the basin
to push herself forward, forcing the dildo a little further in. As I pull
it back, she pushes with her legs to retreat a few inches as well. The
process is repeated again, and again, a little more each time, until soon
we're both a continuous motion, as waves against a beach.
She leans her head back, eyes still closed, mouth slightly open and
cheeks flushed as I press against her over and over again. Her breasts
catch my attention; they move along with her, dipping their bottom below
the water's surface and returning above it with every cycle we make. I
find myself lowering my head to one of them and taking its center into my
mouth to steady it. She sighs pleasurably as I begin to stroke and play
at the nipple with my tongue. The tempo is increased further.
Finally, one last large thrust on both our parts brings her over the
edge, and with a slight tremor and a high-pitched moan which I can't
help but silently call cute, our efforts are rewarded. Breathing
heavily, she opens her eyes slightly and lowers herself against the back
of the tub, content for now. I lean forward and kiss her, discarding our
toy in favor of better balance. She kisses back for a moment, and then
stops to say, "I love you."
"And I love you," I whisper back.
We'll have to get out soon, for the water is already starting to cool,
but for now we can stay like this. Soon, perhaps even tomorrow, one or
both of us will be called away to somewhere else in the country to
perform an important duty. That's how it is for us...at most, we have as
much time with one another as we are separated. We must be contented
with limited times to have a life together...but what times I can share
with Sonya, what times we DO have together to love and live with one
another, are enough.
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