In the Cards
The room is covered in darkness, broken only by the small circle of
light here at the table. The small candles, one to my left and two to my
right, illuminates the cards I’ve spread across the table surface and
manage to light up her face just so, giving her an unearthly, floating,
appearance.
We’re really supposed to be sleeping, and in Sanya’s room at that, but
as neither of us are quite ready to sleep yet I suggested we stay in my
room today instead. I wonder when our superior officers will finally
clue in to the fact that Sanya sleeps in my room and not her own? The
only time she stays there is when we are ordered to in preparation for
the night shift.
To pass the time I suggested we do a reading on Sanya, and that is why
the candles are lit. As much as I wish it was for some more auspicious
reason, like a candlelit dinner for two or something likewise romantic,
I know well enough that this is as close as I’ll get.
The first card I drew was the Fool, and if I had any doubts my Sight
clearly told me that it was the symbol for her, for Sanya’s path or
quest. All in all not a bad start, and I explained that to her as she
watched with curiosity how I turned the cards.
Next I found strong friendship and acceptance, and while my Sight said
nothing about it I would assume that it refers to me. My own feelings
aside I do try to be as good a friend to Sanya as I am at all able.
After that came cards that spoke to me of a challenge she must face in
order to have change, something for which she would need strength, faith
and courage to obtain. Originally I intended this reading to be fake,
just a tool for me to use to help Sanya get the courage to approach
Miyafuji with, but that changed right away. I need not come up with a
fake reading when the real one is saying all the things I had intended
to.
There is someone in Sanya’s life that she has deep feelings of romantic
nature for, and to win that person Sanya will have to find the strength
to be brave, to take a chance. She will have the support of a good and
accepting friend, and if she dares to go through with it the signs are
in favour of success.
My palms are sweating and I am nauseous as we have gotten this far. I
might have intended to do this on purpose, but I really did not want it
to be true. I love Sanya after all.
Something will happen, something painful and difficult, but if endured
it will bring positive change and... I lift the final card and turn it,
but as I do it falls from my fingers, landing in the centre of the
spread, face up.
The Lovers.
My Sight hits me, harder than I ever thought it could, only not the way
it is supposed to. Instead of showing me how to interpret the cards laid
out before me the present is yanked away from me, replaced with a vision
so real and vivid that I can feel it. Taste it. Touch it.
Sanya.
Sanya, naked and beautiful, her skin flushed and her hair messy as she
writhes, gasping, in the arms of her lover. I see her through that
person’s eyes, but that is not all. I feel every sensation as if I was
truly there, loving her.
Her skin is so hot and smooth against mine, the taste of it strangely
electric as I move my lips against the pulse in her neck. She gasps as I
do, her hands gripping onto me so hard I feel the bite of her nails
though they don’t hurt. Nothing could hurt now, this is incredible, this
is maddening, this is heaven; I rock with her until suddenly her body
goes tense and arches beneath me. She is going to scream my name. My
heart and the world both stop in euphoric anticipation.
"Eila!"
Darkness. Everything is darkness and I am strangely numb. I blink
rapidly and try to focus despite feeling very confused.
My vision clears to a dark room with Sanya leaning over me looking very
concerned. Apparently I am lying on the floor, something that is
suddenly made abundantly clear as feeling returns to me as a sharp pain
in the back of my skull and a dull ache in my back and left hip.
Sanya repeats my name, looking even more worried as she caresses my
face. Wait, caresses my face? Dazedly I grin at her, thinking to myself
that this falling off of chairs stuff is the life, if it comes with
Sanya’s caresses in the bargain.
She is really worried by what happened, upset too, and it takes quite a
bit of me to convince her that I don’t need to be rushed over to the
medical wing. Even when she calms down I can tell that she doesn’t
entirely buy that I am fine, apparently I was convulsing on the floor
and it scared her quite a bit.
I am still dazed enough by it all that Sanya flips the roles of our
relationship and tug me over to the bed, making quick work of undressing
me before surprisingly sternly ordering me to get under the covers. I
barely have time to realise what happened before she has shed her own
uniform and cuddles up to me. She twists us around until I am lying with
my head on her shoulder, our arms loosely wrapped around one another
save for the hand she has gently playing with my hair.
What just happened and the ramifications of it finally begin to sink in
for me, and I am sure that if Sanya was not holding me so sweetly I
would have remained awake tonight, tormented by the images. Clearly I am
going insane from loving her, but who can blame me? She is so wonderful.
Sleepily she informs me that we are going to get up a bit ahead of
schedule so that we can go find Major Sakamoto or Commander Wilcke to
report what happened to me. Her embrace is so warm and protective that I
just fall head over heels in love with her again
On the table the tarot cards lie scattered, forgotten.
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