"So the three of you have no idea what this outburst was about? You're certain of that?" The three girls in the Dormitory office bowed their heads. Stood before Sister Mizue they remained silent, trying to avoid the Sister's scrutinizing gaze as she looked them over one at a time. The Sister watched them intently for a few moments more, her attention focusing on Shizuma as the former-Etoile stared at the wide wooden desk in front of her. Next to Shizuma stood Amane, the Spican Etoile looking worn, her face shadowed with worry and concern. To her left was the distraught looking Yaya, tear stains still visible on her cheeks, her eyes red from crying and rubbing them sore. The Sister sighed, and sat forward in the high backed chair behind the office desk. Her tone a little softer, she remarked, "I appreciate the strain and pressure the position of Etoile carries. It's completely feasible that Konohana-kun has simply fallen victim to that, and as she insists on withholding the details of whatever brought her to such distress, I can only presume that this is the case." "However," and with this, the Sister's tone shifted again, her gaze straying primarily to the silver haired Miatorian, "if it comes to my knowledge that someone has inflamed this issue, be it with inappropriate behaviour or with the supply of illicit substances or alcohol, this will certainly become an issue for the school board." Watching as Shizuma continued to stare at the floor, the Sister pressed the issue, "Shizuma, we all understand the ordeal you've endured during the past two years," and with this, Shizuma lifted her gaze defiantly, "however, we've made numerous concessions for you since Sakuragi-san's death, turned our eyes to things that would usually have resulted in severe reprimand and disciplinary. I don't know what happened while the four of you were away this weekend, but given your irresponsible behaviour of late, your disruptive and undesirable antics, I would hate to have to question your position here at Astrea so close to your graduation. Don't give me reason to contact your parents again." Shizuma's face remained blank, and she nodded curtly, replying, "No Sister." With that, Sister Mizue addressed the three girls together, "I would remind the three of you that this is a Christian school; that we abide by the word of our Lord, that we uphold the bible's teachings as well as providing an environment in which to teach our students and help them attain their potential. Whatever it is that some of you seem to think is acceptable will stop here and now. I will not tolerate students treating this school's traditions with such open disdain." "Yes Sister," the girls replied in unison. The grey haired woman sat back in her seat, and with a dismayed tone she finished, "Since Konohana-kun has maintained her wish to rejoin her parents, she will be retiring from Astrea until the end of the winter break. Accordingly, her position as Etoile will be suspended and the artefacts of that position retained until she returns." She looked at Amane this time, the sullen looking fifth year openly distressed by the words she'd just heard as she stared at the floor. "I understand the implications this holds for you Ohtori-san; if you feel unable to continue the role of Etoile alone, or that the strain will compromise your school work, you must approach myself or your personal tutor immediately and we will discuss alleviating the issue." Amane nodded, not really hearing the words but knowing she had to agree to something politely, her mind very much somewhere else entirely. With that, the Sister stood. "If either of you remembers something, anything that could explain this incident, I want you to tell me immediately. The staff and I are less than comfortable leaving this issue open, and this is the first time in Astrea's long history that one of our students has actively requested leaving campus. We are not happy at all." The girls nodded again. "You may go." "Thank you Sister," came the chorus, and their pace polite, the girls turned and left the office, Yaya's eyes pooling again as she hurried down the corridor towards her room. - - - - - Amane sat leaning against the brick pillar that flanked the steps to the high green house table, her head resting against the rough surface, her brown eyes staring blankly at the paving stones below her. Somewhere behind, Shizuma quietly prepared a tray of tea, wrapped up in her own thoughts herself. The former-Etoile carried the drinks over to Amane, resting them on the stones next to the top step. Curling her black Miatorian dress under her, she sat beside the Spican Etoile, her gaze following that of the sullen figure next to her. "If it helps, you don't need to worry about this place. I'll make sure it's taken care of over the winter." Amane nodded vacantly, and without shifting her gaze she replied, "That would be appreciated, thank you Shizuma." The former-Etoile reached for Amane, resting a hand on the fifth year's shoulder. "I'm sorry for your pain Amane; I'm not sure what to say." Amane turned her head gently, looking at the hand on her shoulder. She placed her own on top, dipping her head again, letting her dark hair fall forward to cover her face. "What have I done Shizuma?" The Miatorian upperclassman frowned, saying, "This wasn't your fault Amane..." The Etoile raised her eyes, staring out across the green house, "Wasn't it?" She considered the months past, the days at the paddock, the many mornings riding Star Bride when the tiny blonde third year had stood under the tree near the railings, always watching, always present. But never coming forward, never saying hello. It was Amane who had closed that gap, Amane who had pursued in curiosity, "She came to me with big eyes full of admiration Shizuma, with a heart of gold and that beautiful face full of innocence." A tear sprung to the tall Spican's eye, "And what did I do? I assumed, I decided. I took it for something that I was looking for, read my own needs into those eyes." Shizuma sat silent, letting her friend finish before replying, "I never forced her Shizuma, please, I never made her - " Emotions washing over her, Amane broke, the tears rolling across her face, guilt piercing her heart. Shizuma tried to offer comfort, "No one will think that Amane. Everyone knew how Hikari felt about you. No one else was there when Yaya told us what had happened, and I'm sure Yaya will want it kept those things to herself." Amane continued sobbing, her head hung in shame. Unsure how to react and never having seen the Etoile cry before, Shizuma awkwardly placed her other arm around the Spican, pulling the fifth year against her. Amane shrugged the hug off, sitting up on the step. "This is my fault," she reasserted, "I shouldn't have involved myself with someone so young. It was wrong." Shizuma's face took on an exasperated look, struggling to find words to console her companion. "Amane - " The Spican continued, "I should have ruffled her hair and sent her on her way. I shouldn't have encouraged her the way I did." Shizuma cut in, taking control of the conversation, "Hikari was so adamant in her affection for you Amane, no one would blame you for taking that the way you did." Then holding her hands out in testament, she added, "Jesus, I've done it enough times myself. And I'm certain, honestly certain that deep down that's how Hikari truly feels for you. I've seen it in her eyes. She was just shocked by what she walked in on." Amane's tears slowed, and she looked at the Miatorian on the step beside her. "You're an iconic figure within Spica Amane. Girls of all ages look up to you, cheer for you on the track, support you at competitions. They even write your name in hearts on their school bags. But how many come to you the way Hikari did? How many display the same longing that she did." Shizuma took the Etoile's hands in hers, looking directly into Amane's eyes. "She loves you Amane. She does. She'll come round, she just needs some time." Amane looked back silently, then after a moment she replied, "Thank you Shizuma." Shizuma continued to hold Amane's gaze, then certain the Etoile was calm again, she released the Spican's hands, turning and taking the tea cups from the tray. Passing Amane her's and wafting the scent of the sweet red tea across her nose, she added, "If anyone should be feeling guilty right now it's me. I shouldn't have given her so much to drink." And then, after having taken a long sip, she added, "And Yaya. Jesus, I've done some stupid things in my time admittedly, but in the Cathedral...?" she shook her head. "I know they're both young, but god what were they thinking?" Amane had returned to gazing across the colourful plants below her, letting the steam from the tea warm her face. "I guess there's some truth to love being blind," Amane added ominously, "We become so self-absorbed, so selfish. Blind to other people's feelings, blind to their perceptions." And as the girls sat there in silence, Amane sad and regretful, her heart longing for her tiny Spican companion, Shizuma found herself thinking of Miyuki. - - - - - It was late when the car came to collect Hikari. Despite the rumours running rife, no one had been allowed to wave her off, Sister Mizue honouring the young Etoile's request that she be left alone, that she didn't want to see anyone before going. Through the first floor window of their shared Dormitory, Nagisa and Tamao watched as their Spican friend climbed into the car without a single glance over her shoulder. Sitting back in her seat, she stared forward, expressionless as the tinted black window drew closed, hiding her from view altogether. As the car pulled away, the girls drifted away from the window, their hearts low, Nagisa nagged by a continuing sense of guilt. Why she hadn't also been dragged into the Sister's office she was unsure, but she felt responsible in some way all the same, certain that the previous night at the summer house had some part to play in the afternoon's unrest. "It seems that whenever I go to that place, something always goes wrong," she said, holding the key around her neck. "Part of me wishes Shizuma had never taken me there." Tamao looked across the room from her place sat on her bed, her hands clasped in her lap and a sad look on her face, "I can't imagine Nagisa-chan could have anything to do with this. Hikari seemed fine all afternoon, I doubt it's related." Then thoughtful, she added, "except perhaps at that shop. She was acting very strangely when Amane-sama tried that dress on." Nagisa sighed, feeling depressed and tearful. She fiddled with the green clip holding her hair up before removing it, letting the auburn locks fall loose. Holding her brush out toward Tamao she asked, "Would Tamao-chan brush my hair for me?" She dipped her gaze, adding in a quiet voice, "It always makes me feel better." Tamao looked at the brush for a moment, an expression on her face that Nagisa couldn't read. Then with a suddenly chirpy reply, Tamao stood and took the brush, "Of course I can. Anything for my Nagisa-chan." She sat Nagisa down at her desk, hands on the fourth year's shoulders as she looked at her friend in the mirror. Then, after smiling and ruffling the flowing locks, she began brushing her room mate's long red hair out in slow sweeping arcs, holding collected bunches in her other hand, "Nagisa-chan still doesn't take enough care of her hair. One day it will all fall out and she'll wish she'd listened to me." Nagisa smiled weakly and then sat in thought, staring at the desk in front of her. After some consideration she quietly asked, "We were all so eager to see them together. Do you think we pushed her too hard?" Tamao looked back at the fourth year in the mirror. "What does Nagisa-chan mean?" Nagisa turned the words over in her head before replying, "We were all so certain they were just being shy. Were we really doing what was best for them, or just trying to force what we all wanted to see?" Chewing her bottom lip, she looked at the desk as she continued, her words trailing off with awkward self-awareness. "I mean, how normal is it for two girls to feel that way about each other anyway?" Tamao's face flushed for a second, but she did her best to hide it and dipped her deep blue gaze to avoid eye contact, pretending instead to concentrate on brushing. "But they look wonderful together as Etoile?" Tamao replied, knowing that wasn't the point. Nagisa then said as much in her reply, "That's not the same Tamao-chan." She continued, "She never talks about Amane-sama the same way I do about Shizuma. She never looks at her in the same way. And when Amane was wearing that dress, she looked like she'd seen a ghost, even though Amane-sama looked very pretty indeed." Tamao stood quietly for a moment, knowing exactly what Nagisa meant and mulling something over. There was a personal insight she wanted to share, something she felt might explain Hikari's behaviour but was completely unsure of the consequences of doing so. So much had happened between her and Nagisa these past few months. They weren't the same together anymore, their friendship having changed so much in the run up to the election, let alone afterwards. She might still understand though, perhaps. With an odd tone in her voice, the fourth year asked, "If I were to tell you something, does Nagisa-chan promise not to tell Shizuma-sama?" Nagisa looked up in surprise, regarding the dark haired girl in the mirror. "Tamao-chan?" "Promise me Nagisa," Tamao repeated. Nagisa paused, her eyes questioning. Then realising Tamao wasn't going to give any ground, she nodded slowly in agreement, "Oh... uh, I promise..." Tamao took a deep breath, her brushing subsiding into idle motions as she recalled past events. She was still very unsure as to how wise it was to say this. "The morning after Yaya's tea party; the one after the election, I came back to the dormitory while you were still asleep." Nagisa nodded, recalling, "Shizuma told me you were in the shower when she woke up," She offered another meek apology, "I'm so sorry we got Tamao-chan in trouble." But Tamao was quiet, still debating whether to continue. After a moment more, she finally set her resolve. "It's not that," Tamao explained, "I was... here for a while before using the shower." She waited for a response, fearing Nagisa might openly object to the invasion of the couple's privacy. But when no reply came, the red head still waiting silently before her, Tamao continued her story. "I stood watching you asleep together, for a while. You were holding each other tightly." Nagisa blushed slightly, knowing the couple had slept without any nightclothes and feeling embarrassed by the thought of Tamao seeing them naked. Noting the response, the older upperclassman quickly gathered her thoughts, shifting her weight slightly as she tried to get to the point as fast as possible, attempting to avoid any further awkwardness. She started again matter-of-factly, "From the first moment I saw her in the infirmary; it struck me how cute my Nagisa-chan was," She smiled fondly as she reminisced, "Her pretty smile, those big excited eyes, and her amazingly coloured hair," and as Tamao mentioned it, she found herself laying the brush to one side, instead running her fingers gently through the soft red strands before her. There was a wistful look on to her face, and she paused again. "So very pretty..." Tamao sighed and tipped her head, continuing on, "But that morning in the dormitory, seeing you both together like that..." Her words trailed off and she swallowed gently, passing the auburn strands between her fingers, feeling the texture, the warmth. "Um..." Her thoughts sidetracked, Tamao's explanation stalled. For some reason the feelings of repulsion and the uncomfortable pit in the bottom of her stomach that she'd felt that morning when she'd seen the couple together weren't returning. She'd wanted to vocalise them for Nagisa's benefit, to try and help her understand the look on Hikari's face at the department store. But instead she felt her skin flush, her finger tips acutely aware of each strand of hair, each flowing lock. Nagisa's skin was so warm, her presence so immediate, and as Tamao pushed the young woman's hair back from behind her right ear, she caught sight of the dainty earring Nagisa wore, felt the smooth skin of the fourth year's neck brush against her palm. Lost in the moment and the physical sensations that began to overwhelm her, she tried clarifying her point, failing miserably in her distraction, "I found myself wondering how it would feel being next to you like that, to be lying naked against my Nagisa-chan." Nagisa shifted uncomfortably, overly aware of Tamao's gentle touch, the red head feeling slender fingers gliding across the back of her neck. Tamao's eyes were distant, thoughtful as she played, reliving the encounter and reprocessing the feelings with a fresh mindset. Nagisa quietly watched the upperclassman in the mirror, anxious and unnerved by Tamao's behaviour, even more so given her body was beginning to react to it. Only Shizuma should be able to do this... The raven haired upperclassman was lost in her thoughts, lost in the deafening crash of sensations. She couldn't shake the preoccupation, couldn't escape the smell of Nagisa's sweet conditioner, the warm glow of her perfume. Idly her fingers worked lower, out across the unsettled fourth year's gently curving shoulders. It was only when she saw the expression on Nagisa's face in the mirror that Tamao caught herself, pushing the past memory aside to concentrate solely on the now. Nagisa was staring back at her, huge bottomless pupils wide, her face flushed, her expression like open book waiting to be read. As Tamao looked on she could see the red head visibly reacting to Tamao's touch, seeing the same feelings written on her roommate's face that were responsible for the warm glow she felt within herself. As the upperclassman brushed her fingers back across her classmate's slender neck and shoulders, Tamao watched as goose bumps formed on the red head's skin, saw the shift in Nagisa's eyes. Holding her gaze, Tamao felt their breathing fall into sync, the dark haired Miatorian watching with a delicious sensation coursing through her as Nagisa became more and more self-aware, her own unexpected arousal unnerving her as much as Tamao's did. This wasn't right, Nagisa panicked, this was supposed to be something special, something she was only supposed to have with Shizuma... Why can she make me feel like this? Absolution hit Tamao in a single moment of clarity. Suddenly the young woman understood. Suddenly she knew why she'd been alone so long, why she'd been singled out as a junior. The young woman's voice almost trembling, Tamao continued in an almost inaudible whisper, "It felt so wrong at the time," she said, dipping her eyes in shame, "I'd never seen two girls together, not like that. I felt so very uncomfortable." But when she looked back at the mirror, staring straight at Nagisa's reflection, she held the brown eyes peering back firmly, her glance questioning and direct. Surely Nagisa felt this too. Surely she understood. But the red head remained silent, motionless before her. Tamao panicked, suddenly conscious that she needed to justify the intrusion, needed to make her point properly. "The way I felt back then, the knot in the pit of my stomach; when I saw Hikari's reaction at the department store I was reminded of that." The pair remained static for a moment longer, unspoken signals passing between them as Nagisa pensively searched the subtext and Tamao scrambled her mind for the original message she'd wanted to impart. Her face flushed, her body screaming in objection, the raven haired Miatorian turned away, letting Nagisa's hair fall idly as she walked to sit on the bed behind. She was shaking, her thoughts clouded in fog. "I..." She looked back at her room mate, the fourth year still sat motionless beside her. Another sensation began to dominate at the back of Tamao's mind, nagging at the base of her stomach. "Perhaps um..." She shook herself mentally, forcing herself to regain composure. "Perhaps something happened between them, and, um..." Again she stumbled. Giving up, she cut the awkward conversation short, realising she'd gone too far, knowing she'd crossed the mark. "I don't know, perhaps something like that happened between them and that caused this afternoon," she finished, washed by defeat, fully aware that her story had made no sense whatsoever. Nagisa, still sat rigid at her desk, uneasy with the sensations coursing through her and the person responsible for creating them, tried to catch Tamao's gaze in the mirror. Failing to, she asked in a small voice, "And... is, is that how Tamao-chan still feels now?" But Tamao sat silent, looking at the window, acutely aware of what she'd just done. Her thoughts in disarray, her tummy twisting into a knotted ball, she remained silent, her reply not forth-coming. - - - - - "How long has Ohshibaru lived with Kagome-chan?" Chikaru asked in her third attempt at provoking a response from the tiny first year as she worked. Kagome remained silent, perched on the end of Chikaru's bed, holding her legs up around her and resting her head on her knees. She looked sullen and tired, the morning's ordeal leaving her even more withdrawn than usual. Chikaru sighed softly, her face drawn with concern as the needle and thread in her hands weaved back and forth, working their magic as she thought of more avenues by which to approach the sullen figure sat with her. It hadn't been long after the screaming underclassman had been discovered by a Miatorian fourth year that Chikaru had been called; the school council President the usual point of call for dealing with problems regarding Lulim's students. Noting the identity from the description given to her by another Miatorian girl who'd run to Chikaru's room, she'd hastened to collect the young brunette, concerned for Kagome's well being. Kagome in one hand, teddy bear in the other, Chikaru had led the sobbing first year back to her own room, where having sat her down and prepared her a still neglected cup of hot chocolate, Chikaru had set about repairing the damage to Percival's arm. The issue of Chiyo's behaviour could be dealt with later, and more appropriately, by President Rokujo. Chikaru's room was a veritable Aladdin's Cave, filled with the products of Chikaru's active imagination and her amazing creative ability. Stuffed toys, puppets, artwork including paintings and hand drawn portraits, costumes and clothing littered the room, hung from every available hook, shelf and draw handle. Her clothing was the highlight and the industrious fifth year had a promising career in fashion ahead of her; no one looked better dressed out of term than she did. She considered the collection of stuffed toys across her pillow; teddies, tigers, kittens, cows and sheep, each with a name and a history. She nodded at one of the two white tigers that lay near Kagome's hand. "Do you see that kitty cat next to you Kagome-chan? Her name is Shiva. She's been living with me for almost five years now. I made her the first week I started at Lulim." Kagome turned her head slightly, regarding the soft white toy, its fur patterned with black stripes, its ears fluffy tufts that looked incredibly soft. "She looked after me when I was little like you Kagome," the older girl said, "she used to watch the door for me when I slept." Chikaru smiled fondly, memories flooding back of her early years in the Dorms. "Does Ohshibaru look after Kagome-chan as she sleeps?" Chikaru asked in a soft voice. But the first year remained silent, her gaze returning to the wall and Chikaru's array of clothing. Chikaru sighed, and quickened her sowing so she could return the bear as soon as possible. - - - - - Not long after Tamao had finished brushing Nagisa's hair, the unsettled red head had excused herself from the bed room, Tamao unwilling to elaborate any further on their conversation and Nagisa unable to remain in the awkward atmosphere. As she walked, her thoughts were drawn elsewhere; a friend from her corridor having knocked to tell her that Shizuma had been seen with Yaya and Amane outside the Dormitory office. The shouting match she'd over heard through the Dormitory walls that morning also played on her mind, and she opted to find Shizuma for both comfort and explanation. She'd not seen the silver haired sixth year since she and Amane had raced off from the green house when one of the Spica girls had appeared with the news that Hikari had been taken to the infirmary. Unable to find Shizuma anywhere else, she headed back to the green house, unwilling to try Shizuma's room directly for fear of bumping into Miyuki. An unwanted flush still persisted across her face, making her feel dirty and ashamed, unsure why her own body would so openly disobey her. As she trudged through the snow towards the Etoile's hideaway, her mind flicked back and forth between the day's events, producing a mixture of confusion, dismay, anxiety and jealousy. Tamao had never spoken like that to her before, never touched her like that; in the time before the election, whenever Tamao had suggested an interest in her, it had always been through teasing or playful jest. She'd never acted so serious, nor been so forward in her approach. It left Nagisa unsettled to know that her room mate had considered her in such a raw manner, that she'd invaded the couple privacy and spied on them together. And surely, surely she shouldn't have been able to conjure these feelings within her. Only Shizuma should be able to do that. Nagisa pushed away a lump forming in the back of her throat. Had Tamao felt that seriously about Nagisa, how was it now that she was making such an effort to accommodate Shizuma? Why was she pretending to be so accepting? It made no sense to the fourth year. She felt betrayed, and not just by Tamao. By herself too. And then there was Miyuki. What had they been up to? Was Miyuki lying, or had Shizuma really tried kissing her the day her term as Etoile had ended? Did Shizuma really mean the words she'd said that night in the green house when she took the key back? And more importantly, was she about to change her mind yet again having consumed Nagisa's heart so totally since. Nagisa knew losing that love now would destroy her. She sighed, and for the first time in over a week, she felt doubtful and scared again. Perhaps it was just losing Hikari's smiling face from the school, the thought that something so terrible could have happened to the pretty third year that left her so desperate to leave Astrea. Perhaps it was just Miyuki's stirring. Perhaps it was just a bad day or the late night and the alcohol the previous evening and Nagisa would feel fine tomorrow. She didn't know. She pushed on, confused and uncomfortable, unable even to make sense of her own body and the messages it was giving her, but knowing that right then, what she truly needed was to be held by someone, and by someone who wasn't going to run away and leave her the following day or undermine her securities unexpectedly. She hurried on, the green house not much further. - - - - - "Yaya-chan?" Tsubomi's voice quivered as she took in the sight before her, pea green eyes wide in shock and her mouth hanging open. The dormitory Hikari and Yaya shared looked as though someone had turned it upside down and shaken it; bed covers, ripped pillows, books, clothes and paper lay strewn across the room. The linen curtains hung from the railing above the window in tatters, long gashes across them and rips where the missing curtain rings had been. The wall mirror above Yaya's desk had been smashed, the glittering shards strewn across the desk and nearby floor. Even the ceiling light lay scattered in pieces. As the strawberry haired first year closed the door to the third year Dormitory, she caught the sound of the shower, although the door was wide open and the light inside was switched off. Hesitantly, she crept her way across the debris to peer inside, broken glass and plastic crunching under her feet. "Yaya-chan?" she called again, tense with apprehension, unsure of what she would find. The bathroom was so dark that at first, she couldn't make anything out within. Then as her eyes adjusted, she could see Yaya's huddled figure curled up against the back wall, sitting on the tiles underneath the shower. Her clothing and hair were soaked, water running in torrents down her skin as the shower ran endlessly over her. Hugging her shins, Yaya stared blankly towards the open door. There was no expression in her eyes, her lips parsed and her face drawn. Tsubomi realised the third year was shivering, and reaching forward to touch her she flinched, freezing cold water splashing across her hand, the shower having run so long it had emptied the hot water tank. Panic caught the Tsubomi, and she pulled at Yaya as icy water splashed over the underclassman's shoulders and head. Stretching up, she slammed the tap with her hand, shutting off the stream. With an effort, she managed to get Yaya onto her feet and help her stumble out into the bed room. She took the dark haired Spican to one of the beds, sweeping the mess lying on it across the floor before helping Yaya sit down. She flicked her own damp hair from her face and knelt before her girlfriend, looking into Yaya's dark eyes, desperately trying to get some recognition. Yaya just stared blankly, her skin's pale tone more obvious in the light of the bedroom. Tsubomi tried to steady her fingers as she struggled in vain to undo Yaya's shirt buttons to remove her sodden clothing so she could wrap something warm around her, but a combination of nerves and adrenaline got the better of her. In the end, she simply threw her arms around the sodden figure before her, dragging a blanket around the pair of them for insulation. They sat there for what seemed like ages, the only sounds being that of the dripping shower head and Tsubomi's heart pounding in her chest. Blinking back salty tears, Tsubomi cradled the third year lovingly, stroking her long black hair and whispering to her that everything would be okay. After a while, the cold began to leave Yaya's skin and the shivering stopped. Eventually she stirred in the first year's arms, tipping her head to rest it on Tsubomi's shoulder. "Yaya-chan, what have you done?" Tsubomi mumbled, looking around the room as she gently moved the older girl's head into the curve of her neck. She sat there, stroking Yaya's hair, rocking the pair of them back and forth. Scared, lonely and desperately trying to be strong for both of them, Tsubomi sat in the dormitory, waiting for Yaya to come to her senses, watching the sun begin its slow decline through the window. - - - - - The heavy scent of the flowers filling her nose, Nagisa walked along the rows of trellis tables on her way to the centre of the green house, her thoughts still a jumble of intrigue, self-doubt and envy. It was getting late, and through the glass ceiling she could see the sun beginning to set. It would soon be time for dinner, and if Amane wasn't going to be present to give grace, and given Hikari's hurried departure from the school an hour ago, Nagisa found it unlikely that Amane would, then she knew she would have to be at dinner in case it was Sister Mizue that took the Etoile's place. That woman had an eye for everything. Nagisa stopped in her tracks as she reached the bottom step of the high table area. What was that? Her heart jumped as she realised she could her someone crying. Bouncing up the steps she crossed the garden area to find Shizuma leaning against the back wall, her arms wrapped around herself, head down, gently sobbing. Nagisa crept towards the former-Etoile slowly, unsure of how to approach her. Nagisa's mind raced; scared she'd done something to upset her girlfriend, even more scared that something horrible had happened to her as well. "Shizuma-sama?" Nagisa whispered gently, only a few paces from the sixth year. Shizuma choked back her tears, wiping her eyes as she looked up. Recognizing the face, she replied, "Nagisa. I'm sorry, I..." Nagisa looked confused, "Shizuma-sama? ... What's wrong?" she panicked, "Did I do something to upset you?" Shizuma managed a fond smile, shaking her head gently, "No, of course not Nagisa." She reached her arms out for the young woman in front of her. "I'm just struggling with today a little, that's all." But Nagisa didn't step into the embrace, skirting around the former-Etoile and taking a seat at the table instead. Shizuma lowered her arms slowly, a puzzled expression crossing her face as she returned them to her side. "What's wrong my love?" Nagisa fell silent a moment, holding her head, still mind still swimming. Lifting her gaze, she replied, "I just... I don't know. I feel the same way I guess. I..." Her voiced trailed off, "Today has been really hard, what with Miyuki, with Hikari-chan. "She paused," "With everything..." Her attention shifted and she pressed another subject, asking, "What happened with Hikari Shizuma-sama? Did she say anything?" Shizuma shook her head, still unsettled by the fourth year's reaction to her, but sharing events all the same, "No, we didn't see her. She was in the infirmary when we arrived. Yaya had been with Hikari so we talked to her for a short while before Sister Mizue dragged us into the office." "Did Yaya tell you what had happened?" Nagisa asked, hoping to understand what had triggered Hikari's sudden desire to leave the school. She'd heard rumours of the young Etoile lying in the snow outside the Cathedral, calling over and over for her parents. The image was disturbing. "Kind of." Shizuma didn't elaborate. "Shizuma-sama?" The sixth year sighed, her face betraying inner conflict. "It's complicated Nagisa. Yaya didn't want anyone to know. She didn't even want to talk to Amane. What happened was... was." She sighed, "It's difficult, that's all." Nagisa's eyes widened and her face took on a hurt look. "Doesn't Shizuma-sama trust me?" "It's not that," Shizuma snapped. "I can understand Yaya not wanting people to know, it's messy." Nagisa's heart dropped, and she pleaded, "But when did we keep secrets from each other?" Shizuma struggled with her frustration, and she replied, "It's not by choice. It's different." Nagisa's eyes narrowed, and she found herself mumbling, "Like it was with Miyuki?" Shizuma's face dropped, not expecting the comment or the tone by which it was delivered, "Nagisa?" "Well!" the red head snapped, pulling herself out of the chair, waving her arms open. "When were you going to tell me? " Tears sprang to her eyes and she clutched her aching chest, "Or was she lying? I don't understand and I'm scared Shizuma. Scared Shizuma-sama is going to change her mind again and tell me to leave her like she did that night in here before the election..." She looked up in pain, tears racing down her cheeks, "Tell me Shizuma-sama still loves me. Tell me Miyuki is lying." Shizuma stepped forward, tears welling in her own eyes, wrapping the fourth year up in her arms. "I do love you Nagisa, I do. You mean everything to me." Nagisa sobbed in her embrace, gingerly returning it, hands curled up behind the former-Etoile's back, unable to let herself relax, "Then why Shizuma-sama? Why would Miyuki say those things if they weren't true? She doesn't lie, she's never lied..." Shizuma gripped the red head tightly, blinking back her own tears as she braced herself for the reaction she knew her words would bring, "Because she wasn't lying Nagisa." The young Miatorian doubled as though someone had punched her, crying in dismay and pulling away from the former-Etoile. "Why would you do those things? Why if you loved me?" She stumbled backwards, trying to get some space to collect herself. Letting Nagisa slip away, Shizuma tried to find the words, searching for a way to explain, "It wasn't the way she made it sound Nagisa, please, let me..." Her mind reeled, and she tried to string events together, "She came to me demanding Kaori's necklace back. She was so cold, so uncaring," Shizuma's voice quivered as she struggled to keep the train of thought, panic gripping her as she watched Nagisa' face twisting in pain, scared to lose the girl she loved so dearly, "I told her she couldn't understand; that she'd never loved someone like I had loved Kaori. She challenged me, telling me she had, telling me that she understood. She couldn't say anything after, she just stood there looking at me until I realised who she'd meant." The sixth year paused, "That she meant she'd loved me... Shizuma's voice was quieter as she continued, "I was so angry still, I wanted to hurt her so much." She lowered her emerald gaze, guilt washing over her, "I wanted to punish her, make her feel the same pain I did." Cradling herself, Shizuma went on," so I gave her a taste of what I knew she must have longed for, for something she could never have. I made her take it from me that very moment, knowing full well it belonged to someone else and that it would never be hers ..." Looking back into Nagisa's brown eyes, she held her hands open, her face written in desperation, "...knowing that it belonged to you Nagisa." Tears fell down the former-Etoile's face, "Would always belong to you." Nagisa stared back, the gulf between them filled with longing, but the pain in her heart holding her back. "Promise me Shizuma, promise me." The emerald-eyed sixth year buckled as emotions washed over her, "I can't lose you Nagisa, I can't lose you the way I did her. Please..." Nagisa's face twisted, the walls crumbling away, and then, finally succumbing she raced forward into Shizuma's waiting arms. They held each other there for a moment, before collapsing to their knees on the floor, slowly sitting as they kissed over and over again, trying to erase the pain, clutching at intimacy in the hope it would wash the hollow void away. Shizuma held the fourth year's face before her, looking directly into the brown eyes staring back, cheeks shimmering with rolling tears, "I love you Nagisa, whatever may have happened in the past, I love you dearly. Nothing can change that." Nagisa's gentle sobs slowed, leaving only the sound of their breathing, the pounding of their hearts. Nagisa held the former-Etoile's gaze, "I love you Shizuma-sama. I love you so much. Don't ever leave me again." And with that they gripped each other tightly, eyes closed, waiting for the pain to subside. - - - - - "There, good as new!" Chikaru proclaimed, holding Percival up in front of Kagome's blank gaze. To prove the point, she wiggled his repaired arm, smiling as she did. Kagome continued to sit still for a moment, still holding herself. Eventually, gingerly, she reached a hand out and gently stroked the bear's head, feeling the soft texture under her fingers. "I think Kagome should give Ohshibaru a great big hug as she hasn't been able to all afternoon," Chikaru said, trying to lure the first year out of her shell. But in a move that left the pretty Lulim senior bewildered, Kagome sat back, replying calmly, "Thank you Chikaru-senpai. Kagome-chan appreciates what you've done for Ohshibaru, but I think it would be better if he stayed here. Perhaps he could help Shiva watch the door at night." She lifted her deep green eyes to look directly at Chikaru, "I think that would be best. It's getting late now; Chikaru-senpai should come with Kagome-chan to the dining hall. It will be dinner soon, and Chikaru-senpai has worked hard all afternoon. She must be hungry." Silenced by the tiny girl's words, Chikaru simply nodded in bewilderment. And with that, Kagome took Percival from the school council President's hands, turning and placing him lovingly next to Shiva and Chikaru's other collected toys. She stroked his head, whispering in his ear, "You should stay here Ohshibaru, where these people will take care of you. Kagome-chan will miss you very much," and she turned to look back at Chikaru, "but perhaps Chikaru-senpai will let me come and visit you from time to time." Chikaru nodded, a soft smile forming on her lips, Kagome looked satisfied, and then turned back to Percival, kissing him gently on the forehead. Then, without a second look, she walked to the door, taking Chikaru by the hand on the way, leading her off to dinner. - - - - - Alone in the paddock, Amane stood at the railing that ran the length of the track, a long blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She looked out across the valley, one arm holding herself, the other gently stroking the yellow scarf tied around her neck. Her eyes were red and sore, her face covered with tear stains. Unashamed, she let the tears roll free, staring at the sun as it finished its final steps into the horizon, the sky a deep orange, the snow on the ground reflecting its warmth. It was like standing next to a giant fireplace, the glowing embers lighting the entire world around her; except no matter how fierce that fire was, it couldn't warm her freezing heart. She stood there alone, her thoughts consumed with guilt, with loneliness and the compelling urge to contact Hikari; some how, in any way possible, just so she could hear the third year's musical voice again, see those gleaming blue eyes and have that beautiful smile beaming up fondly at the fifth year as she looked down. Bowing her gaze, Amane whispered with quiet regret, "What have I done..."
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