Because You're You
(Note: I tried my best to keep everyone in character. I did give the
couple some problems to work through, however; and this is a couple that
I honestly believe could work. Another note: the town of Kusel should
be spelled with an umlaut over the u; the first o of Konighof should
also have an umlaut; but my computer won't let me do it.)
When Norma was eleven years old, the Hammond Theatre Co. had come
to the town of Muhlenberg and performed a play. Everyone had loved it
and the performers had promised to return. They had loved Muhlenberg
too, it seemed.
Since they wree a touring company, and Muhlenberg had loved them,
and they'd promised to perform in Muhlenberg again, no one was surprised
when they showed up with a new play four years later. Norma, the genki
blonde 15-year old girl, had watched eagerly as the group's publicity
truck proceeded up the street slowly. Norma's heart fluttered the
moment she saw Cheryl, her favorite actress. The tall auburn-haired
woman looked as striking as Norma remembered. Without realizing, Norma
waved enthusiastically. Cheryl saw her then. She waved back and gave
Norma a dazzling smile.
Saga, Norma, and Anne watched the first performance of the
play--which was called "The Bear Returns"--and they thoroughly enjoyed
it. The next morning, Norma had shyly approached Cheryl and asked for
another autograph, this one on the new playbill.
"Only if you will let me take you to breakfast," Cheryl had
replied. The meal wound up taking nearly two hours. Though she had
been tongue-tied at first, Norma had quickly gotten comfortable with
Cheryl. The two learned a lot about each other. Norma found that
Cheryl had a quick wit; she also admired Cheryl's optimism and
independence.
Norma had attended the next two shows on her own. She and her
friends had then watched the last one. That evening, as she'd promised,
Norma had eaten a late dinner with Cheryl.
"Do you think the theatre company will come back to Muhlenberg
again?" Norma had asked that night.
"I'm sure of it," Cheryl had answered easily. "No one could ask
for a better audience than she'll find right here." She'd looked away
then, because Norma was blushing and if she knew that Cheryl had caught
her doing that, she'd have been very embarrassed.
"You will come back, won't you, Cheryl-sama?"
"Of course I will."
The theatre group left the following morning. Cheryl had kissed
Norma's cheeks and the two had said their goodbyes. When the train
began to move, Norma tried to hid her tears from Saga and Anne.
Norma, Anne, Greta, Saga, Phil, Jan, Alan, and the rest of
Muhlenberg went about their lives.
+++++
Norma was 17 years old when the Hammond Theatre Co. visited
Muhlenberg for the third time. Norma and her friends were in their
final year of schooling and they had a week of vacation starting
tomorrow. It was perfect. Norma was watching Saga argue with Kanon
about how many snacks would spoil Kanon's dinner when she heard the
voice of the stage master a long way off. "Do you hear that?" Norma
asked. Saga and Kanon quieted and listened.
"The theatre group is back," Saga said.
"Nani?" Kanon asked. "Have they been here before?"
"You were only six, so you might not--Saga, tell her, okay? I've
got to see her!" Norma rushed away, leaving Saga to explain to the
puzzled 8-year old.
Norma saw the truck and ran faster. It had been two years. She
wanted to talk to Cheryl again, and eat with her, and laugh with her.
The blonde girl was grinning when she reached the truck. "I'm so
glad you're here," she said to the stage master. "It's been too long."
"Yes, it has," the jovial man agreed.
Norma's eyes had been searching the entire time. All happiness
suddenly left her, crushed by a looming fear. "W-where is Cheryl-sama?"
she asked urgently.
"She..."
"...Please, tell me."
"She's quit the company."
"Well, it's great to see you all again," Norma said numbly. But
she had stopped moving, and she let the truck pass her.
+++++
"Their opening performance is tonight," Anne said when she, Saga,
and Norma met the following morning.
"I can't wait," Saga declared. "I'll bet their music will be
wonderful, as it always is."
Anne cleared her throat. "Norma? Usually you're the most
enthusiastic of us when they come to town. Daijobu?"
"Genki," she replied quickly. "We should all go."
"Greta, will you come with us?" Saga asked.
Immediately, there was the laugh. "Oh ho ho ho ho! My rival,
asking me to attend a play with her. It could be a very interesting
experience, Saga-san. Yes, I'll go...if you agree to a soliloquy
contest with me."
"Sure," Saga said, sweatdropping.
The competition between Greta and Saga was a thing that surprised
no one anymore, but it was obvious that Saga was humoring the
black-haired girl. It was also obvious that the two were fast friends
now. The piano had brought them together.
The four girls did some shopping and then went to Greta's house
for lunch. Because of a challenge from Greta, the girls then baked a
batch of cookies each. All the cookies turned out very well, so no one
was declared the winner.
"But you've definitely improved the most, Norma-chan," Greta said,
and Anne and Saga nodded their agreement.
"Thank you," Norma responded. If Greta said she'd gotten better,
then it had to be true.
The girls split up then, after deciding to meet at the theatre
before the play started. Norma spent most of her time wondering what
had happened. Why had Cheryl quit? Was she all right? And Norma had a
very painful question: how could Cheryl break her promise?
I thought I meant something to her.
Norma realized that she had to have some answers. After the play,
then. She would ask until Cheryl's absence made sense. There had to be
a reason, she figured.
The play was called "A Stargazer's Choice," and it was good. But
without Cheryl, Norma couldn't enjoy it. She said she did, for the sake
of her friends. When it was over, she stayed behind.
It seemed as though the stage master had expected her to remain.
"Norma, isn't it? Cheryl told me you would be here." The normally
happy man looked concerned.
"Why did she quit? What happened?"
"Gomen nasai. She made me promise not to tell you that. She said
she didn't want to see you."
Stung but determined, Norma pressed on. "Did she say you couldn't
tell me where she is? I've got to write to her and ask her what's going
on."
"Well," the plump man hesitated.
"Come on, please? What harm can there be in letting me write her
a letter?"
+++++
Norma laid the page that held Cheryl's address next to the map on
her desk. The town where Cheryl lived was over 300 km away. But Norma
wasn't worried. She would take the train tomorrow morning. She was
glad that the stage master had believed her when she'd said she planned
to write. She had packed her suitcase before she'd gone to the play.
"All I've got to do is tell my parents that I'm leaving tomorrow,"
she murmured to herself. That wouldn't be a problem; her mother and
father thought travel was good for young people. It would be her first
trip alone. She was a little scared. On the other hand, she was 17.
It was time for her to do this.
She felt better, knowing that she was taking a big step toward
adultood. Saga had rubbed off a bit on her; it was fairly easy for her
to make an intelligent plan. Saga, Anne, even Greta: they were friends
and they had plenty to teach. They were very good people.
Yet for a chance to see Cheryl, it wouldn't be hard to leave them,
Norma thought. There was something else about Cheryl. Norma accepted
that, even though she didn't know why she cared so much about the
actress, and what her situation might be. Somehow, she became very
important to me, Norma realized. Morning, please come quickly. The
blonde girl fell asleep easily.
+++++
The dawn was foggy but warm--the day would soon be clear. Norma
calmly told her parents over breakfast what she intended to do. They
both teared up a little before she left. So did she. It didn't bother
her.
She'd made her lunch at home and now she ate it on the train.
Once she was finished, she double-checked her map of the province
Rheinland-Pfalz and her map of the town of Kusel, the town where Cheryl
lived. Less than 100 km remained until the train reached that town, a
town that seemed only a tad smaller than Muhlenberg. Norma figured
Kusel was higher in the mountains, too. She put away her maps and
watched the changing landscape.
Her heartbeat seemed louder to her when the conductor announced
the stop at the Kusel station. She knew that Cheryl's address was more
than a km from the bahnhof, but she wasn't afraid of a walk. It was a
lovely day and her suitcase was light. She left the comfortable
passenger car and began her walk toward the house where she knew she'd
find Cheryl.
The day was warm and quite humid. Norma was glad that she had
time. She strolled through the pines in no particular hurry. Here and
there she saw things that reminded her of life in Muhlenberg. Girls
eating ice cream and gossiping; boys yelling and kicking a ball;
children flying kites or playing with pets or talking to adults or any
number of things. With all these similarities, what was the big deal
about travelling?
But the surroundings were new to her, and she was having fun
seeing it all. Her walk took almost no time. Set back from a narrow,
winding road, there stood a small orange house with dark brown shutters
and a yellow door. The number was 922. This had to be Cheryl's house.
Norma's heartbeat was louder now than it had ever been. She
ignored it, but it wasn't as easy to ignore her suddenly rebellious
stomach. The young lady took three deep breaths and approached the
door.
Cheryl's door had a unique bell. A knotted leather cord with a
thin steel disc hung amidst a mismatched set of chimes--some were
rainbow-colored metal cylinders, some were small brass animals, some
were thick glass seashells. Norma smiled. She rang the chimes.
No one answered. Norma waited and tried twice more.
The blonde girl sighed. She sat on the polished wooden bench that
stood near the front window of the house. "She's not here," Norma
muttered. She was irritated with herself; she'd never considered that
Cheryl might not be home when she arrived. Now all Norma could do was
wait. For a moment, she wondered if Cheryl truly lived here, but only
for a moment. She knew that this was Cheryl's house.
Norma pulled a book from her handbag and sat back, relaxing
against the warm wooden back of the bench. She didn't mind waiting.
Cheryl would return soon. Norma couldn't help feeling proud of
herself--she'd done what she had resolved to do.
The day plodded toward evening. Cheryl didn't appear. The day
became too dim for Norma to continue reading. She put away her book.
She wasn't worried; indeed, she felt safe, relaxed even. She listened
to the squirrels' chattering and the chirps of the birds. The bench's
inviting, full-length cushion enticed Norma. Norma wasn't really tired,
but she could stretch out for a few minutes. As long as she didn't shut
her eyes...
+++++
The sound of boot heels on pavement awakened Norma. She blinked,
trying to let her eyes adjust to the twilight.
"Miss? Ano, what are you doing? Are you all right?"
"Cheryl-sama!" Norma turned toward Cheryl.
"Norma? Iie! Don't look at me! Go away!"
"W-what? Cheryl, how can you say that? How?"
The hostile voice softened. "It's not your fault, Norma, but I
need you to leave." Cheryl kept her eyes--indeed, her entire
face--turned away from the young lady.
"I can't go! What's happened, Cheryl-sama?"
"I said I need you to leave."
"I need you to tell me what's wrong!"
"Very well, if you want to be stubborn. The Konighof Hotel is
four blocks up and left until you reach the stoplights, and one more
block left. Have you got enough money for a room?"
"Yes. Doushite?"
Cheryl faced Norma. She was clearly blind in her right eye. Part
of her upper lip on the right side of her mouth was gone, revealing
gleaming silver teeth. Purple, scarlet, and brown scars covered her
cheek and part of her jaw.
Norma's eyes streaming, she stepped toward Cheryl. "I'm sorry.
It must have hurt very much when it happened," she said, her voice low
but steady. "I can understand if you don't want to tell me how--oh,
Cheryl-sama--" Norma barrelled into the tall woman and hugged her.
"Norma-chan." Cheryl couldn't keep speaking. She'd figured that
Norma would gasp, cringe, and probably run from her. This reaction was
so different from that possibility that Cheryl was overwhelmed.
"Please," Norma said, "don't feel as though you have to talk about
it."
There was silence then, as the two women held each other. Norma
and Cheryl stopped crying quickly and drew comfort from their embrace.
They stayed with their arms around each other for several minutes.
"I can't believe you're here," Cheryl said. "It's so good to see
you."
"It's wonderful to see you. I thought I might never see you
again." Norma's voice started wavering. "I--I couldn't leave it at
that. I had to see you; I had to! I had to know why--why you didn't
come back."
"Dear girl, I should have known you wouldn't just accept my
absence. Come, I'll make us some supper. You must be famished."
"Hungry, yes--but happy. Thank you, Cheryl-sama."
"Call me Cheryl, please."
+++++
"...was definitely not the only one who missed you. Anne and Saga
said after the first performance that it wasn't the same without you."
"Honestly now, was the play good?"
"It was. But I couldn't enjoy it the way I had before. And the
stage master expected me to ask about you. Was that your doing?"
"Yes." Cheryl took her meatloaf out of the oven. "You wre never
like any of my other admirers.
"Listen, Norma, I'm very glad that you can look at my face. But
you don't have to eat with me; I won't be offended in the least. Seeing
me eat must be enough to kill off anyone's appetite."
"Thanks, but I want to eat with you."
"Okay. You've been warned."
They ate and talked and Cheryl was truly amazed. Norma acted just
the way she had two years ago except that she was more grown-up now.
She was still as lively and she still looked at Cheryl as she had
before. The admiration and affection were still there.
"Wow, Cheryl! Thank you--you're such a great cook!"
"You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it."
"Who wouldn't have? Is that what you're doing now--I mean, is it
your job?"
"As a matter of fact, it is. How did you know that? Oh, never
mind: I suppose I'm easy to read. What about you, Norma? You'll be
done with school this year. Actually, don't tell me. I want to guess."
"Guess away then," Norma said, sipping her tea.
"Um...designer? Yes, that's it, a fashion designer. With your
flair for the dramatic--"
"--Close," Norma giggled, "but not quite right. I want to do
sculpture, with metals. I like wood and glass too, but metals are my
favorite."
Cheryl leaned back in her rocking chair. "I can see that. I'll
bet you're very good at it."
"You be the judge. I've brought some photographs of my work. If
you'd like..."
"...I'd love to see them."
Norma opened her handbag and found the small package containing
the pictures. She hesitated, then handed them to Cheryl.
"Very nice," the auburn-haired woman murmured. "You've got
obvious talent."
Norma blushed. "Do you think so?"
"I assure you, you have a gift. This piece--the caterpillar,
cocoon, and moth--it's my favorite. It flows so well, it's almost like
it isn't metal at all. Bronze, isn't it?"
"Yes. Arigatou, Cheryl; you're so kind."
"It's only the truth."
Norma shifted on the sofa. "It's getting late, ne? I'm glad that
you gave me directions to that hotel. I'm tired suddenly."
"I told you the directions because--"
"--You thought I'd want to leave you. But I dont. I hope you
know that, Cheryl. I need some sleep, but I'd like to see you again
tomorrow."
"You don't want to leave, so don't. Stay in the spare bedroom
tonight and I guarantee that you'll see me tomorrow."
"I won't impose on you."
"Daijobu. It's no trouble."
"Thank you. Thank you so much!"
"Sh. You're welcome. You must be exhausted. I'll take you to
your room."
The little house was only one story above ground, so Norma knew
that she wouldn't have to climb any stairs to go to bed. That was the
first time she could remember that she wouldn't have to deal with
stairs. Instead, it was a walk down the hallway, a left turn, and an
odd orange door that was shaped like a triangle with the top cut off.
Cheryl opened the door and the scent of cedar drifted out of the room.
"Answer me something, Norma: how long did you plan on staying here?"
"It's a nice room--"
"--How long?"
"Until you gave me an answer I could accept. I brought the
suitcase because I had a hunch; I wasn't sure that I was going to have
to use what's in it."
"Well," Cheryl said, her voice suddenly uneven, "I hope you'll be
comfortable. Oyasumi nasai."
Norma caught her arm. Cheryl spun and her face was wet with
tears. "Cheryl-chan, what's wrong?"
"'What's wrong?' Do you have to ask? Since--this!--happened, no
one's looked me in the eye, let alone...treated me like a...like a human
being. I'm--you--you act like nothing--nothing's different."
Norma put her arms around Cheryl and rested Cheryl's ruined cheek
on her shoulder. "Onegai, don't cry, Cheryl. True, you don't look the
same, but you're still the same wonderful person I met years ago and
have gotten to know. You are a treasure, and that is not different."
"You're the treasure, Norma--"
"--I'm--"
"--Dammit, don't interrupt! I'm so confused and I'm happy, angry,
tired--Norma..."
Neither woman spoke for several minutes. Cheryl collected
herself.
"Gomen nasai," the scarred actress muttered. "I'll feel better in
the morning, I'm sure. Oyasumi."
"Oyasumi nasai," Norma said.
+++++
It was very close to dawn when Norma awoke. She stretched and
rose slowly from the cozy bed. Without knowing where she was going, she
strode unerringly to the back porch and sat next to Cheryl. The sun
rose over the pine-covered valley. It was a splendid sight, full of
lavender, pink, periwinkle, orange, and yellow.
"Kami-sama," Cheryl sighed, not looking at Norma yet, "are you
here, in the flesh? Am I dreaming?"
"My mother always said, 'No rhetorical questions before
breakfast.' So what do you want to eat?"
"Iie. You are not making breakfast; you're my guest, not vice
versa."
"I'm going to help you, that's all."
"Rhetorical questions." Cheryl paused and stood. "I guess
there's no way I'll talk you out of helping, is there? I'm not
dreaming; you're sure enough here. Ohayo, then."
"Ohayo gozimasu, Cheryl."
With effort, fighting her habit of turning away, Cheryl smiled at
Norma. "To the kitchen," she said.
Norma smiled back. "After you."
They proceeded into the house. They whipped up two large
omelettes with cheese, ham, and green peppers as well as a batch of
spiced potatoes. Norma had gotten a special blend of coffee from Saga
and she brewed a pot to go with the morning meal.
When they finished making their breakfast, they started eating
right away. Norma was in particularly good appetite. "It's the best
breakfast I've had in quite a while," Norma said. "I appreciate it."
"I know you do. By the way, this is great coffee. Thank Saga for
me, okay?"
"You bet."
"Now I need to ask you some things. First, have I given you an
answer you can accept?"
Norma thought hard. "Yes. I understand why you quit."
"In other words, you can leave now. I know that this is a busy
time in your life. You have obligations. When are you planning on
leaving, Norma-chan?"
"I don't know. Work, school, my parents, my friends--I've got to
go back pretty soon. But I don't want to leave today. I've got to call
my mom for sure. Apart from that, I have no idea."
"I have to work today, from 10:00 to 18:00. I do that every day
but Sunday. Does that make your decision easier?"
"Not really." Norma sipped her coffee. "When do you want me to
go?"
"Never."
Cheryl said it quickly and firmly. The ladies both blushed.
Norma couldn't believe what she'd just heard; Cheryl couldn't believe
what she'd said aloud.
"I mean, you're welcome to stay here for as long as you want,"
Cheryl stammered. "You'll always be welcome."
"I'm really glad that I came here," Norma said. Her shy smile
charmed Cheryl.
"Would you like to take your bath first, or should I?" Cheryl
asked.
"I'll wait," Norma answered.
Eventually, Cheryl and Norma were both cleansed and ready for the
day. Cheryl offered to give Norma a tour of the place and Norma
accepted. Norma noticed the dilapidated but adequate workshed, with its
vise and anvil. That could be useful in the future. The grounds
overall were nice, but a little run down. "I can tell what you do and
don't use," Norma said after the tour.
"Quite observant, just as I expected," Cheryl said. "I have to go
to work soon."
"I think I'll explore Kusel. And do you mind if I do some
sketching here while you're gone?"
"My home is yours," Cheryl replied. "I'll try to get back early."
"Have a good day at work," Norma said.
It had been months since Cheryl had heard someone say that to her.
+++++
It had been longer than that since a person had last made a meal
for her. She was very surprised to return to her house and find Norma
stirring a thick lamb stew and a blueberry pie cooling on a rack on the
porch. The breeze blew the wrong way for her nose to have given her an
earlier warning, so her good eye widened when she stepped through the
door. "Norma! This is too much!"
Norma jumped when she heard Cheryl's voice. She turned, a
sheepish grin on her face. "Konbonwa, Cheryl. How was your day?"
"It was all right. How was yours?"
"Eventful but relaxing, if that makes any sense. I kept busy. I
think that I should travel more often."
"'Kept busy,' did you? That's an understatement. You shouldn't
have done all this!"
"I did, though. You're worth it."
cheryl laughed. "You're always direct, aren't you?"
"Forceful, too. Anyone who's friends with Saga and Greta will
have to be or she'll never say anything." Norma resumed her stirring.
"I guess you managed to get off work early, ne? I wanted dinner to be
ready just when you walked into the house, but it'll be another few
minutes."
"Thank you, Norma. I don't always want to make supper after
having cooked for eight hours."
"I can imagine. I'd also like to warn you; I'm a beginner. This
stuff might not be any good."
Cheryl doubted that. "May I help you with something?" she asked.
"No need, thank you. I'm nearly done."
"Hm. I happen to have a really nice red wine that will go well
with this meal. Shall I bring it up from the cellar?"
"Is that all right?"
"Of course, this is a special occasion."
"Please do, then."
"Hai. I'll be back in a moment." Cheryl went down the stairs and
found the best bottle she had. She didn't 'happen to have' this wine;
she drank too much and knew it. Since the accident, her alcohol
consumption had increased. But this was the pride of her collection: a
Chateau L'Effite. I'd wondered if I'd ever drink this, she realized.
But this is definitely the right time for it.
The two women drank the wine and ate the food and they found it
all to be quite satisfying. The stew and the pie weren't exceptional,
but they were very good. Cheryl forced Norma to admit that she was a
decent cook. After months of living by herself without a single
visitor, Cheryl was practically starved for company. She and Norma
talked on and on about trivial things. As the night grew old, the
conversation became more serious.
"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to stay until Monday morning.
That will give us tomorrow morning and evening and all day Sunday to
catch up," Norma said. "Maybe set up our next meeting, even?"
"Will that be okay? I would love for you to stay here as long as
you wish, but can Muhlenberg spare you for so long?" Cheryl inquired.
"Certainly; there is no hurry. I called my mother at about noon
and I let her know that I'd found you and that it was my intention to
return on Monday."
"How did she take it?"
"I don't know. She said that I should be careful and have fun. I
asked her if I'd made her worry and she said no. But oka-san doesn't
always say what she's feeling."
"And how do you feel, Norma? You said that this is your first
time away from home. I hope you're not too homesick."
"A little. Datte, I've been busy, and I really like it here. I'm
so glad to see you as well, so relieved. I can't be homesick much."
"You know if you are, I would feel awful if you stayed just
because of me. You've already done so much--"
"--I am here because I want to be here. If I say I'm all right,
you believe me, don't you?"
"You're braver than I was at your age. I'm not sure that anything
would keep you down for long."
"Thanks. You seem plenty brave to me. If I could switch topics,
though, I'd rather wait until later to worry about leaving. When we've
got the whole day, what should we do with it?"
"Yeah. Kusel isn't very big, as I'm sure you've noticed." Cheryl
thought for a few seconds. "I'll bet you've seen, or soon will see, all
the things that will interest you. So why don't we leave the town and
check out the ruin of a nearby castle I visit from time to time?"
"How did you know?"
"Know what?"
"I love ruins. They fascinate me," Norma said.
"Really? For me, it's the peace--I'm drawn to ruins because
they're tranquil. I can't explain well. It's like something that's
been built and then destroyed by humns and now is being drawn back into
nature."
"I think you explained well," Norma told her hostess. "That makes
a lot of sense."
Cheryl smirked. "I could sit here talking to you all night, but
you wouldn't appreciate me doing that, ne? I think it's time for bed."
"You're right. I had no idea it was so late! You've got to work
tomorrow--I'm sorry I kept you up."
"Don't be silly, Norma-chan."
Norma and Cheryl stood. "Oyasumi nasai," Norma said.
"Oyasumi nasai."
They waited for a moment longer, then Norma walked to the hall to
her room. Cheryl took a deliberate breath. Norma had said goodnight
first...and that was because she could see that Cheryl didn't want to do
it. "That's compassion," Cheryl whispered to herself. Then she too
headed toward her bedroom.
+++++
Cheryl smelled coffee before she even opened her eyes. She
figured that her breakfast was probably waiting for her. She pulled
herself from her bed and stalked toward her bench on the porch. "Norma,
you should know better."
"I'm going to use the I-couldn't-help-myself defense. You're a
cook; I want to relieve some of your duties."
"Thanks. But how did you do it, anyway? There's no alarm clock
in that room."
"I brought one in my suitcase," Norma replied. "It's always a
good idea to have an alarm."
"Quite so. But I feel like a louse with you making the meals;
promise me that you won't make dinner tonight."
"Okay, I won't." Norma settled back onto the bench and sipped her
coffee. "Do you always watch the sunrise, Cheryl? Except when it
rains, I mean."
"Even when it rains. I don't bother on really overcast days, but
when it rains, it can make the sunrise more beautiful than usual.
Rainbows here are vivid and they seem very close, almost near enough to
touch."
"That sounds wonderful. I'd like to see it with you, some rainy
morning."
Cheryl took a bite of her croissant. "So would I, Norma. The
splendor of nature is something best viewed with a good friend."
+++++
As Norma had promised, she did not make supper that night; she
ordered Italian. Cheryl pretended to be angry, but the blonde girl's
look of sheepish smugness was too much, and she laughed out loud. "You
promised, Norma! Shame on you," she giggled.
"I am so sorry," Norma said, exaggerating the "so."
"You know, I remember you as a sweet, somewhat naive girl. Today,
however, you obey the letter only of a promise you made to me yesterday.
Who's the real you, hm?"
"That hurts. I'm not naive: I never have been."
"I guess you haven't," Cheryl said, "but you are sweet."
Norma felt her cheeks grow warm, but she looked straight at her
older friend and smiled. "Redeeming qualities--I'm glad I have at least
one."
Cheryl felt vaguely alarmed. She was opening herself to this
energetic young lady, and that was probably a bad idea. Even as she
recognized her own response to Norma's energy and presence, she knew
that she didn't want to guard against Norma. Confused, she began
talking, not caring much about what she was saying. "Do you want to
hear a little about the ruins?" she asked.
Norma was a little startled. "Not really. We'll see them
tomorrow and I like surprises. Something new and exciting should be
savored."
"Do you want to watch TV then? Or would you like to play a game?
Or--"
"--It isn't going to be like this between us, is it Cheryl?
Please don't play the entertainer role for me. We're good friends,
aren't we? We've been very natural so far; I'd like to keep it that
way."
Cheryl's fear kept her quiet.
"What do you normally do?" Norma tried. "Actually, forget
that--now that we--"
"--Normally." Cheryl guffawed. "Before or after the accident?
Before, I did a lot of things, most of them involving other people. I
loved to be around people. Now I--"
"--Cheryl, don't say--"
"--I drink! I slide into the comfort of the bottle and wallow and
cry, because I'll never be able to have a night on the town again. I'm
bitter and you'd better watch out, because that's got a way of
spreading."
"I haven't seen you drink," Norma stated.
"Well, you--"
Cheryl shut her mouth. It was true. Norma hadn't seen her drink.
Since Norma had arrived, Cheryl had only drunk two glasses of wine with
her dinner.
"--I do. You haven't seen it yet, but I do."
Norma fixed her eyes on Cheryl. "You're angry. You're hurt. I
get that. But don't try to push me away!
"It's easy for me to say, 'Things are going to get better.' I
can't prove it.
"Cheryl, am I really the first visitor you've had since your
accident?"
Cheryl could hardly answer. "Hai."
"What about your family? Your friends?"
"I don't like my family. They don't like me. They don't agree
with many of the choices I've made in my life. My friends--I don't want
to talk about my friends."
Norma took a deep breath. She wouldn't let Cheryl see how close
to tears she was. She had to be tough now. "You don't have to talk
about them. But you do have to stop acting as if you're all alone. Of
course you'll get discouraged if you try to deal with a horrible
accident like yours on your own, so don't."
"I'm sorry I yelled," Cheryl said. "I know you're right. It
won't be easy, trying to interact with people again. I'm disfigured."
"I know. Don't forget that I'm willing to help you any way I can.
I'm sure a lot more people than you know would help if you'd ask them."
"I'm done talking about this."
"Okay. Listen, I don't know how bored you would be, but would you
like to see how I start a metal sculpture?" Norma asked, graciously
dropping the painful subject.
"Do you think you can work here? I haven't got a decent place,"
Cheryl said.
"It'll do. I've checked it out. That workshed, you haven't used
it for so long that I'd bet you've forgotten it exists. With some work,
I can definitely make it suitable for sculpting."
"Yes. I would like to watch you work. Besides, you will probably
need a hand getting set up."
"Come on, then."
"Nani? Don't you need to gather your things?"
"I've already got them out there."
Cheryl laughed and she was glad that she could. "You really have
too much energy."
To the workshed they went, their moods steadily improving. They
spent the first half-hour preparing the equipment and setting up the
tools. Cheryl had some oil lubricant which she used on the old vise.
Norma swept and cleared away the cobwebs. The two friends fixed the
window which had been stuck shut and they made various other small
repairs.
"Now that the shed itself is ready, I can get to work. This is my
travel kit; it's for small jobs. Norma opened the green canvas bag and
began setting things on the table. "I don't know how much you know
about this stuff, so stop me if I'm telling you what you already know."
"Don't worry. I know almost nothing about anything I see lying on
that table. The files, clamps, and the hammer--that's all I recognize."
Norma's voice turned instructional. "For starters, this is a set
of chasing chisels. I use them only to shape metal, not to cut it.
They're not sharp, though they look like they are.
"These are my repouse pins. They're used to shape large areas,
generally. With them, a lot of force is needed. When I've had a bad
day, it's a lot of fun to work with them.
"You said you recognized the files, so I'll just point out their
different shapes and textures. See, these are used for corner work, and
this one is for gradual curves."
"They're so small," Cheryl said. "I'll bet it takes a long time
to get the result you want."
"Not too long," Norma answered. "This is the saw and these are
the blades."
"Why do you have so many?"
"Because they break very easily. That's the dangerous part. If a
blade breaks and your hand is moving too fast, you can push a broken
piece into you. It won't just hurt, it will be almost impossible to
get out. The serrations on the blade are like barbs, and they can only
come out through the side opposite from where they came in. In other
words, they have to be pulled completely through your hand."
"That sounds painful. Do you know from experience?"
Norma raised her hands and pointed at her right with her left.
"That was the first," she said, indicating a small triangular scar.
"There were two more before I learned my lesson."
Cheryl's eyes widened. "I thought you said it hurt!"
"Sure, it hurt a whole lot. But I love working with metal. I
couldn't give it up."
"That's admirable."
"Iie. It's not a choice. I have to do it."
"Say that if you want to, but I admire you anyway. Most people
seem to find trivial excuses to let go of their dreams, once they see
the pain involved in pursuing them."
"I think you have a point. I'm not one of those people."
"I'm glad you aren't. Meeting a person like you is rare."
"Arigatou," Norma muttered, thoroughly embarrassed. "To continue,
this is my smallest crucible. When I need to use molten metal, it's
indispensible."
+++++
The two women wound up staying awake for longer than they had
intended. When they finally did happen to check the time, they hurried
off to bed, Cheryl apologizing as they went. Tired as they were, they
had no trouble sleeping.
+++++
"Ohayo," Cheryl said, her voice thick with sleep.
"Mm," Norma grumbled.
"Not awake yet?" Cheryl asked. She waited and didn't get an
answer. She bent lower, watching Norma as she slept. The redhead was
struck by how childlike her young friend looked. Cheryl reached out a
hand to nudge her--and she paused. A faint smile appeared on her
scarred face.
"Urg...mm...hee...hee hee--hey! Ah, stop--ha ha ha! Don't tickle
me!"
"So you're awake now?"
"Yeah, yeah." Norma sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Ohayo,
Cheryl-chan," she said.
"Ohayo, Norma-chan. You wanted to get an early start today,
didn't you?"
"There's early and then there's early. What time is it?"
"A little after 05:30. The sun will come up soon, so it's not
that early."
"Sure feels early, though. I'm awake; I guess I should get ready
for the day."
"What enthusiasm! I suppose you could do with some coffee, then."
"Sure could. Thanks."
"So could I. Why don't you go make us some?"
Norma pulled down her eyelid and stuck out her tongue. "You
aren't fooling me. I can smell it."
Cheryl tousled Norma's hair. "You really are awake--good." She
hopped off the edge of the bed. "I'll take your coffee to the back
porch."
The tall redhead left the room. Norma stretched her arms above
her head. She was suddenly struck by exactly where she was and how
different this was, compared with what she expected from a normal
morning. She was used to talking to her mother and father, listening to
the radio, and waking up later than this, for sure! Yet as different as
it was, it felt as natural as the wake-up routine she'd followed for
years. She felt comfortable. Norma figured that she hadn't had time
yet to see all the differences. Once she did, she doubted that the new
situation would still seem so familiar.
Her robe hung in the closet; she slipped into the fluffy yellow
garment quickly and headed to the porch. The screen door creaked a
little as she opened it and Cheryl turned to her. Cheryl's robe was
mint green, contrasting gently with her long auburn hair. The way she
was sitting left quite a bit of her shapely legs bare.
"Cheryl, don't be offended--scarred or not, I don't know how you
can look so good so early in the morning," Norma said.
"I've been up, I admit it," Cheryl replied. "Couldn't sleep for
more than a few hours, so I gave up close to an hour ago. I've already
taken my shower, so you can use it as soon as you want."
Silence rested between the two. The sun rose slowly and Cheryl
and Norma watched it, side by side. The calm that settled over them
kept them quiet while they finished their coffee and ate their
breakfast.
"You find such wonderful oranges. They're messy, but I just love
them," Norma said.
"Your favorite fruit, isn't it? I had a hunch."
"Really? How could you be so sure?"
"I just am," Cheryl answered. Still, even she wondered how she'd
known.
Norma rose from her chair. "I'll get washed and we can hit the
road."
"I'll get our supplies together."
+++++
Norma nearly dropped her backpack when she left the house and
spotted Cheryl. The scarred woman was grinning and holding the reins of
two strong-looking black horses. The horses were hitched to a flashy,
sturdy red surrey with blue trim. Cheryl began laughing. "Do pick your
chin up off the ground, Norma-chan," she said.
"Well...how--where--"
"--I can tell you while we're riding, can't I? We're losing
daylight."
"Sugoi!" Norma clambered into the vehicle. "Today is a great
day!" She hugged Cheryl tightly.
"Whoa, girl! I'm trying to drive, you know."
"Oops. You're right." Norma released Cheryl, but continued to
lean against her. "So where did you get this lovely surrey and these
beautiful horses?"
"Not wasting time, are you? A friend of mine owns a farm and a
business to the north of town. She owed me a favor, so I called it in."
"Thank you. No one's ever done such a thing for me."
"I did it for me too, you know."
"Still, arigatou."
"You're welcome. I was hoping that you wouldn't be allergic or
anything."
"Good point. I am allergic to shellfish, but that's it."
Cheryl started laughing again.
"What's so funny?" Norma asked.
"I was joking about the allergy thing, but you're so honest and
willing to talk to me. I love how young you seem to be."
"I'm not sure how I should take that."
"You know..." Cheryl sighed and considered her words, "...a good
way to tell how you should 'take that' whenever someone gives you an odd
comment is to consider who's talking to you."
"Good point. Thanks for the compliment then," Norma said.
"There!" Cheryl said, indicating a line of trees slightly to
Norma's left. "If you look closely, you can see a slab of shattered
wall above that arm of the woods."
"Yes, I see it. Is it granite?"
"Mostly, yes. There's anoth--"
The surrey suddenly hit a deep pothole and Norma gave a startled
yelp. "Careful. We'd like to get there in one piece," she said.
"I can't be much more careful."
"Your depth perception--your eye--damn it, I'm such an idiot! I'm
sorry."
"It's okay. Maybe you should drive on the way back, though. It
didn't really occur to me, but with only one working eye, I'm not as
good a driver as I used to be."
"Gomen nasai," Norma said again.
"Forget it. We'll get to the cartpath to the ruins right after
this bend in the road. As you've probably noticed, the trees aren't
going to thin much, so there's always plenty of shade."
"And ruins that seem to just pop out of the woods suddenly are
really cool," Norma said. The surrey turned onto the narrow path toward
the heart of the ruins. "This path is so overgrown; does anyone else
ever come here?"
"Not as far as I know."
The surrey drew near enough for Norma to see the entire ruin, and
she gasped. The dark grey wall was mostly intact, and behind it,
several short towers with tall, narrow windows. A few additional stone
buildings stood behind the towers. The most impressive of these--and
one of the best preserved--was a long, squat church with two wings on
opposite sides of the sanctuary. The trees that stood in the courtyard
were as large as those outside it, proving that the ruined castle had
long been abandoned.
"It's incredible," Norma finally said.
"Wait 'til we get closer," Cheryl said.
The blonde girl was beside herself with delight as they rode
closer. Her eyes roamed all over the place; she kept from exclaiming
only with difficulty. As they proceeded beneath the gate, Nomra looked
up at the giant stone arch. "There's still a portcullis up there!" she
yelled. "That's astounding. I really can't believe the condition of
these ruins--it's fantastic. What could make people forget something
like this?"
"I don't know. It's probably something simple and insignificant,
I'd bet. Human beings are fickle. It doesn't take much to distract
us."
"I know I'll never forget this place," Norma said.
"No, I don't think you will," Cheryl agreed. "This is a good
place to stop. Help me with the horses, please."
"Me? I don't know anything about horses."
"You like them; that's enough. Watch what I do."
Cheryl made sure that she slowed her actions enough for Norma to
copy them. The large building that Cheryl had chosen for shelter seemed
to have been a smithy, centuries ago. It was roomy enough and still had
most of its roof. Once the horses were watered and tethered, the women
retrieved their packs from the surrey.
"Time to explore," Norma said. "Onegai, lead on."
"Of course," Cheryl answered.
+++++
All that morning, they walked and climbed from one building to the
next, laughing and talking. Cheryl showed Norma all sorts of features
and points of interest that Norma was sure she'd have missed on her own.
Cheryl found herself enjoying the role of guide--in fact, she was having
more fun this time than she'd ever had at the ruins...and this was her
favorite place!
"Whoa. It's about lunchtime, wouldn't you say?" Norma asked as
they approached the ancient great hall of the castle.
"I didn't wear a watch; what time is it?"
"A little after 13:00."
"Kind of past lunchtime, I'd say. You pick a spot and we'll eat."
"Sounds good." Norma picked a grassy area in the northeast corner
of the castle's outer curtain wall. She and Cheryl spread a thin
blanket and ate their meal: chicken and swiss cheese sandwiches,
pickles, cold lemonade, and an apple apiece.
"You know this place like the back of your hand. You've been here
more than you let on," Norma said.
"More than I realized," Cheryl corrected. "But I've never come
here with someone else."
Norma frowned. "I'm intruding, then."
"Not on your life!" Cheryl put a reassuring hand on Norma's leg.
"It's true, this is my favorite spot. I come here to think and to
relieve stress. I wouldn't want to share this with just anyone. But
I'm glad that I can share it with you. Only with you."
"I don't know what to say," Norma whispered.
Cheryl leaned closer to her. "Say that you'll be my friend
forever," she said.
"I promise."
Cheryl hugged Norma tightly. "I promise too. Friends forever."
"That's what I've wanted since I met you," Norma responded,
returning Cheryl's hug. "And I will find some way to repay you for
showing me this lovely place."
"Don't worry about it," Cheryl laughed. "But now I've given you
the tour. You said that you wanted to do something else in the
afternoon."
"So I did," Norma said, recognizing the prompt. "I wanted to
sketch. These ruins are inspiring."
"All right. I think I'll just relax while you do that." Cheryl
put her hands behind her head and leaned back against the wall.
Norma rummaged in her pack, gathering her sketchbook and pencils.
"Actually, I was hoping that you'd help me."
Cheryl cocked an eyebrow. "How would I do that? I'm no artist."
"Just talk to me; tell me about these ruins."
"I know very little. No one does. I've asked and I've looked in
books. There's precious little information to be found."
"Please tell me what you know, then."
"Let's see...
"I think it was about A.D. 700 that the oldest curtain wall nad
the small barracks were built. It was probably begun as an outpost to
keep an eye on marauders from the east. By the way, none of that
original outpost remains, except some of the foundation.
"Over the next four centuries, it changed hands several times.
But a duke took a liking to the region in about 1140. He built the new
walls and most of the buildings we've seen today. He ruled from here,
and so did the next few heirs of his line.
"In roughly 1300, the archbishop visited the area and became
friends with the ruler of the time. That particular duke--I think his
name was Gorim--built the church for him.
"Not long after that, the great hall was constructed. It's the
newest of these ruins.
"Then, probably about 1320, something terrible happened. Enemies
from the south besieged the castle. The defenders began to weaken and
starve, and there was an epidemic. Many of the castle's inhabitants
died.
"Suddenly, the attackers left.
"Apparently, that was the beginning of the end for the castle.
People started to leave. By 1340, the castle was deserted.
"But the mystery is the lack of records. In all the surrounding
regions, detailed and accurate information exists from before the fall
of the Roman Empire. Not in this area. All I've just told you is what
I've pieced together from the records of the surrounding provinces. And
even in those accounts, the histories are uncharacteristically vague.
"Today, people eat up mysteries like this one, yet I haven't heard
of anyone besides me--and now you--who's had any interest.
"I don't believe in curses. Besides, these ruins feel very
peaceful and healing. But why the silence?"
"I don't believe in curses either," Norma said. "I know there's
no curse on this ruin. It feels right, as you said."
"Yes," Cheryl muttered.
"That's all there is to know about this place?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Tell me a story, then."
"There are no stories about--"
"--I meant any story you want to tell me."
"I brought a radio; we could listen to that."
"Please? The radio won't help. It just wouldn't be the same. I
can't explain."
"Okay. A story, then."
Norma didn't look up from her work, but she grinned, and Cheryl
saw her do it. "I've wondered. I've imagined what things must've been
like then."
Cheryl proceeded to tell Norma about a kindly, blonde, artistic
queen who was beloved by her subjects. The queen was caught unaware by
her envious cousin one night. The cousin drugged the queen and chained
her in the dungeon; then he told the people that she had drowned in the
river when she had gone for a moonlight swim. The people knew how the
queen enjoyed swimming, so they believed the usurper.
But a minstrel, who was a very close friend of the queen's, had
one of the queen's sculptured, linked pair of koi. The queen had told
the minstrel that the two fish would stay together as long as they both
remained best friends. Since the koi were still joined, the red-haired
minstrel figured that this meant the queen was alive.
Without attracting attention, the minstrel began asking questions.
The royal cooks told her that the new king always asked for two meals.
No one knew what he did with the extra food. The minstrel asked about
the dungeon. They told her that only the king had the key, but since
the kindly queen had never had any prisoners, it must be empty.
Not satisfied, the minstrel asked to see the dungeon. At first,
she was refused; so she explained that her actions were for the sake of
the queen. While the castellan distracted the king, the chief cook took
the minstrel to the cellar. The minstrel picked the dungeon door's lock
and found her best friend, the queen--ill, but alive!
The minstrel and the cook told the people what had become of their
queen. Outraged, the people demanded that the king return her to power.
He tried to order his soldiers to stop the commoners before they
revolted, but they loved the queen too and refused to obey. They
imprisoned the king in his chambers and gave the minstrel the honor of
freeing the queen.
For the next several weeks, the minstrel nursed her friend to good
health. When she was strong enough, the queen returned to her throne.
The people gathered and saw her first act upon her return: the knighting
of the minstrel.
As for the usurper, the queen let him go, but warned him to be
honest. He had indeed learned his lesson; he begged the queen to let
him work as her scribe. She agreed.
"That was what the queen taught all those who watched her; love
others and let them love you. Nothing else is as important. And love
can never be stolen." Cheryl finished her story and found Norma
watching her, not sketching.
"That was wonderful," Norma said. "If I was in trouble like that,
would you come to save me?"
Cheryl's cheeks grew hot, but she answered. "Of course. You've
done it for me."
Norma beamed at that. "Did I? I didn't set out to do that, only
to visit my best friend."
"You aren't done with your sketching already, are you?"
"Already? That lovely story you told took over an hour."
"I didn't realize."
"All that just came from your imagination, didn't it? With that
kind of creativity, I think you ought to try writing, or drawing, or
some form of art."
"Iie, I can't do anything like that."
"How long has it been since you've tried?"
"I don't know."
"I won't push you, but maybe you should try again.
"But now that I'm done with the sketches, we have a little more
time left before we should head back. What do you want to do?"
Cheryl thought about it. Groaning, she stood. "Oh, my sore
muscles--I sat too long.
"Anyway, I've brought some rope and I was hoping that we could
climb the remains of the Seeing Tower. It's too dangerous for me to try
it alone, but with both of us working together, it should be much safer.
What do you say?"
"I used to have a fear of heights. Do you think I can actually
make it?"
Cheryl laughed. "I need you to make it, because I am scared of
heights! Not 'used to,' I always have been."
"Well--I don't get it. I mean why do you want to climb if you're
afraid?"
"I like fear, excitement--I like doing risky things so I can
succeed."
Norma looked at Cheryl with a mix of awe and concern. "Sugoi!
But don't you go getting in over your head, ne? Be careful when you're
picking your risks."
"If you say so. Let's get climbing."
The way Cheryl talked was too flippant for Norma, but she didn't
say anything. The blonde and the redhead put on leather gloves,
crampons, and harnesses. Then they used D-rings and nylong rope to
tether themselves together.
"We can start with the stairs, but only the first seven or eight
are intact," Cheryl said. "After that, we'll need to take to the
walls."
"...And I suppose you want me to lead," Norma said after they
stood, looking at each other, for several seconds.
"I'd hoped you would."
"I must be nuts." Norma rubbed her hands together and began to
climb the stairs. Sure enough, only seven of the steps could be used.
Norma swallowed her fright and got a handhold.
The distance that she had to climb was probably about 25 meters.
There were plenty of gouges in the rock--some were almost too good, and
crumbled under Norma's hands. She didn't look down, but she could hear
Cheryl laboring below her. It sounded as though Cheryl was taking
longer to climb, but Norma wouldn't know until she reached the top of
the tower.
And she reached it with her nerves still in good condition. Norma
couldn't help feeling proud; this had been a risky endeavor and she'd
seen it through.
The blonde girl droved two long pitons into the rock, connected
the rope, then slowly and carefully worked with the slack until she
could remove the grappling hook.
It didn't take long, but Norma thought that Cheryl should have
made it to the top of the tower by the time she'd finished. She called
to Cheryl and hurred to the edge of the tower. "Cheryl, are you okay?"
"Y-yeah," the red-haired woman panted. "But I looked down. Give
me a minute."
"Close your eyes," Norma said. "Just concentrate on breathing."
"I think I'm good now," Cheryl said. She tried not to think of
how far below her the ground had looked. She resumed her ascent.
"Give me your hand," Norma said.
Cheryl eagerly did so, and she was standing next to Norma in a few
moments. "Oh, thank you! I can't believe I made it!"
"Of course we made it!" Norma hugged Cheryl emphatically. Her
eyelids were closed, but she felt herself blushing and she was sure that
Cheryl was blushing too.
Cheryl spoke softly. "I'd never have made it without you,
Norma-chan."
"That could be true." The slender young woman eased her hold on
her companion, but didn't let her go. "But I wouldn't have even tried
if not for you."
`"...Norma--"
Norma hugged Cheryl more tightly and the taller woman fell silent.
They stood, looking at the landscape--the ruins and the forest laid out
at their feet. "Kirei, ne?" Norma whispered.
"Mm," Cheryl agreed. "It was worth the climb. Now let me find a
good spot to set up."
"Set up what?"
"My camera, so I can get a shot of both of us up here."
"Normally, I don't like getting my picture taken, but we really
worked to get here. And it's a lovely setting."
Cheryl was putting her small tripod on the tallest remaining piece
of battlement. "Arigatou." She looked through the viewfinder. "Could
you move just a tad to your left? Okay...now a little closer. A little
more...perfect. I'm setting the timer."
The tall redhead straightened. "It's ready."
"So get over here!"
Cheryl quickly moved to Norma's side. Norma put her arm around
Cheryl's neck. Cheryl tentatively leaned against Norma and looped her
arm around Norma's waist. "Smile," she murmured.
"Sure," Norma said. Oh, I am smiling, she added to herself.
A red light on the camera blinked. "That's it," Cheryl said.
"Just in case, let's take another," Norma suggested.
"Good idea." Cheryl readied the camera and returned to Norma's
side.
Here goes nothing, Norma thought. She leaned against Cheryl. Her
pulse fluttering, she kissed the scarred woman's cheek. Cheryl
stiffened slightly, just for a moment, and relaxed again. The red light
winked at them.
"Norma, what--"
"--Before you ask, let me ask you a question. Were you smiling?"
"Smiling? I was grinning like a little schoolgirl."
Good, Norma thought. What she said was, "Now what's your
question?"
"What were you thinking?"
"Oh. Well, a lot of things. You're a good friend to me--the
best--but I want you and me to be even closer. And I've wanted to kiss
you since I met you all those years ago. And I'll bet it made a really
great picture. And more besides."
"Norma...thank you. You've really wanted to kiss me for that
long?"
"Um...well..."
"What? There's more?"
Her face positively aflame, Norma pressed on. "No one else.
There was never--I have never wanted to kiss anyone but you."
Something inside Cheryl dissolved. She hated crying, but she
couldn't stop herself. What made her crazy was that she wasn't sure why
she ws crying. She felt Norma's arms enveloping her.
"Only you, Cheryl," Norma whispered into Cheryl's ear.
"Let me give it to you: every bit of your wish." Cheryl's vision
was blurry, but she turned and gently met Norma's lips with her own.
Norma's mouth was wonderfully soft and tasted faintly of peaches. The
teasing movement of the girl's wet lips and tongue excited Cheryl,
inflamed her.
"Was that your first kiss?" Cheryl asked breathlessly.
"Hai."
"Then you're a natural. That was terrific!"
"I love how you smell and how you feel. I love kissing you,"
Norma said. "You mean so much to me."
"You really scare me." Norma gasped at that, but Cheryl
continued. "We've only truly known each other for less than a
week...but you mean a lot to me too. More than anyone else ever has. I
can't help thinking that you're too good to be true."
"Cheryl." Norma's voice was soft and serious. "I would never lie
to you. I would never run from you."
"Shinjiteru."
"Let's get off this tower."
+++++
During the climb down the tower and the drive back to her home,
Cheryl was pensive. Norma saw her distraction and decided not to bother
her.
Once the two women entered Cheryl's home, Cheryl became more
animated again. She made supper--with Norma's help, because the blonde
girl insisted.
As they ate, they talked about their day. But finally, Cheryl
brought up the topic they dreaded. "So...you're leaving tomorrow," she
said, her voice suddenly sounding hoarse.
"I don't want to; I have to."
"Datte, you will call, won't you?"
"Only until I return. Then I won't have to call."
"Norma, what do you want to do with your life? You wanted to go
to a university, ne? You have the talent. And more importantly, you
have the drive. You can be the best artist we've seen in Germany in a
century, maybe longer."
"I don't need a university to do my best. I need to be with you."
"How can you say that? We hardly know each other. I'm sure you
must like me a lot if you can stand to--"
"--Wrong!"
Norma slammed both hands on Cheryl's cherry wood table. Cheryl's
eye widened. Norma looked as though she was stuck between rage and
something else: something Cheryl didn't recognize. The silence grew.
Norma took a deep breath and spoke, controlling her voice.
"You're wrong, Cheryl. Can't you see that? I don't 'like you a lot.'
I love you."
Cheryl was dumbstruck. No one had ever said that to her. She'd
been so beautiful and energetic before the accident; now that she was
scarred and bitter, now love made its entrance? How ironic was all of
this? As she regarded the lovely blonde girl--who was clearly
upset--Cheryl realized that she'd told the truth. Norma really did love
her. That was why she was angry.
"You don't have to respond," Norma said. "Aishiteru, and we'll
talk in the morning. Oyasumi." She turned and left, leaving Cheryl
standing in the dining room.
+++++
Cheryl lay awake in the wee hours of the morning. "Norma," she
whispered. "Doushite? I'm not good enough for you. My whole life has
been stupid mistakes." Cheryl was too afraid to even mention some of
them--afraid of driving away Norma, her only friend.
But wasn't that the plan: to drive Norma away? Cheryl had never
been more confused. Either she wanted Norma to stay or to go...but
which was it? Of course Cheryl wanted her stay! Norma was genki,
intelligent, pretty, patient--
--How selfish! I can't ask her to stay, Cheryl admitted. I would
tether her. She would never reach her full potential if she always had
to be worried about me. I don't deserve her. Because I love her so
much, I must tell her to leave.
It was the right thing to do.
But Cheryl cried herself to sleep.
+++++
Just before dawn, Norma picked up the mug of coffee that Cheryl
had made for her and sat next to Cheryl on the back porch. The two
women enjoyed the sunrise and the sounds of early morning: crickets,
birds, leaves rustling.
Why does it have to be like this, Cheryl wondered. I would love
to share the morning sun with Norma every day for the rest of my life.
Norma chose to break the silence. "I will return in three
months."
"Last night, I decided that you shouldn't."
Norma gently held Cheryl's hand and looked directly into her good
eye. "I knew you would. Cheryl...would you hurt me?"
"Yes. People can't help but hurt each other. But I could never
intentionally hurt you."
"Do you see? We both know you aren't perfect; I'm not either.
But we will do our best for ourselves and each other. Cheryl, my dear,
I love you. Do you love me?"
"With everything that I am, I love you."
"You told me you never wanted me to leave. I have to finish
school. After that, I will return, and I will stay with you."
Norma's smile filled Cheryl's heart with light.
The End
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