Wishful Thinking (part 18 of 24)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by ladyhades

Back to Part 17
"Hey! Get up! The Queen wants to see you."

Mars groaned as blazing lights came on overhead. Queen? What Queen?

"Are you deaf? Move it!"

The soldier cracked an eye open and caught sight of a blonde man she 
hadn't seen before. The cord on his left arm signified him as a general, 
and she could really care less. She stretched and let out a yawn before 
meeting his eyes with hers.

"I'll give you three seconds to turn off the light, and get the hell out 
of my room."

"Excuse me?" the man snapped. "Do you know who I am?"

"You mean besides a total ass?"

The man became livid. "Kunzite was right. You are nothing more than an 
impudent child."

"Ugh. Not that bastard again." Mars groaned. "Now seriously. You need to 
leave. This is your last warning."

The general held his hand up, and dark energy began to crackle around 
his fist. "No. This is your last warning."

The fire soldier narrowed her eyes. She was not a morning person, and 
this was no way to start her day. She quickly whipped a dagger out from 
under her pillow and threw it across the room, missing the blonde's head 
by mere inches.

"Get. Out."

His face became red with rage, but he complied, slamming the door so 
hard it rattled on it's hinges.

"Much better." Mars muttered with a smirk, but her heart was pounding. 
Beryl. This is what she had been dreading. Surely the dark Queen would 
see through her very thoughts. What had she been thinking? Could she 
really pull this off?

Faint images of Minako danced on the fringes of her consciousness. She 
had lost almost everything just trying to get to this point, and she had 
barely managed to come out of this with her mind in tact. Was it worth 
it? Was it really worth it? She had gone in way too deep. She was in 
over her head, but the hole just kept getting deeper, and there was 
almost no way out. The farther she went to try and save her friends, the 
darker her very soul became.

She racked her brain, trying to remember everything they had done 
together, and it stung when she realized she could pull up nothing. Mars 
had enough shadows of memories lingering in her mind to know that she 
and Venus had been lovers, and she had used that on her mission, just as 
she had been instructed.

Huh. Instructed. They were making her hurt Minako. So much for the deal. 
She pressed a shaky hand to her face, and jerked slightly when the faint 
scent of blood hit her nose. She pulled her hand away and stared at the 
angry red gash across her palm blankly.

Her sword. It was from Minako's sword.

No one was forcing her to do this, were they? She chose this on her own. 
She was hurting Minako, despite doing all of this to prevent any more 
pain.

She flexed her fingers experimentally and the wound split open, spilling 
hot blood across her lap. Tears stung her eyes. She just wanted to be 
near Minako, and she couldn't even remember why. "What should I do?" she 
mumbled aloud. "I can't go on like this."

"Like what?"

The helper's voice snapped her back to reality, and her heart raced with 
fear. She slammed a complete mask of calm over her features and met her 
mother's steady gaze.

"Like this." Rei replied coolly, flexing her fingers again. The wound 
seeped openly. "I have to be more careful. This lack of sleep is making 
me clumsy. Very clumsy."

The helper nodded. "I'll see that you get the rest you need, but first, 
the Queen requests your presence."

"I'll get dressed, and present myself."

"Good. And Mars?"

"Yes?"

"Do stop threatening the help. It's not going to win you any points."

Rei smirked in response. "He should have knocked."

-----------------

She adjusted her armor one last time, nervously tightening her 
gauntlets. She had to stay calm. If she so much as even breathed funny, 
she was positive she would be ripped limb from limb. Scary stuff, this 
playing the fence. Her hand stung painfully, and she was hit with a 
sudden bout of inspiration. That was it. She had always said that her 
power was her control, and pain was her fuel. She removed her glove and 
eyed the angry wound, as a smile played on the corners of her mouth. The 
pain would have to fuel her mind today. "Thank you, Mina." she murmured 
absently. "You're going to keep me sane."

"Are you ready?" her mother called through the door. "She really hates 
waiting."

Mars pulled the door open. "Yeah. I'm kind of anxious myself."

"Why's that?"

"I wanted to meet the woman responsible for giving my mother back to 
me."

The helper smiled, but her eyes were empty. Mars held back the chill 
that threatened to run down her spine. Would her eyes get that way?

A portal opened, and she shoved everything but thoughts of her mother 
down. If the Queen were to try and read her thoughts, she would see only 
images of her mother. That was believable, right? Right?

"After you, Pyro."

Mars froze for half a second, but recovered quickly.

"Something the matter?" her mother asked, jumping at her moment's 
hesitation

"Ah, no. I could just swear I've heard that before." Rei replied 
quietly, with a shake of her head.

The helper smiled. "I think you're imagining things."

"Lack of sleep." Mars said with a forced grin. It was scary how easily 
her mother could lie. Yet another sign that she had to do her job and 
get the hell out of here. She dug her fingernails into her wound across 
her palm, and nearly screamed at the pain. This had to work. It just had 
to. As long as she focused on the pain, and thought only of the helper, 
she just might make it through this. She had to earn Beryl's trust, and 
she had a feeling that meant hurting Minako a little more.

Without another word, she stepped through the portal, idly wondering if 
she were marching to her death.

Once on the other side, she let her eyes roam the expansive throne room. 
Demons flanked both sides, as far as she could see. Huh. No wonder no 
one could ever track the Queen down. She must have created some sort of 
inter-dimensional rift. Good knowledge though. She'd probably send her 
army the exact same way. Oh dear God, how long had she been spacing? 
Everyone was staring!

She dug her nails in further, and grit her teeth. Focus. Must focus. The 
Queen sat on a massive throne, and looked damn intimidating from her 
viewpoint.

"Ah, Mars. About time." Beryl said with a smirk.

Rei quirked an eyebrow. "Funny. I thought she'd be taller."

Her mother elbowed her sharply. "Have you no manners? Kneel!" she hissed 
quietly.

The soldier felt her heart lurch. Kneel? To this witch? And that's when 
she felt it, a gentle tickle in the back of her mind, almost the same 
sensation she had gotten when she first began conversing with the 
helper. Beryl must be searching her thoughts. She kept her mother in her 
field of peripheral vision on her right, focusing on her, and dug into 
her wound once more.

It must have worked, because the tickle vanished. The Queen waved a hand 
in front of the crystal ball floating before her, and Mars found herself 
on her knees. 'What the hell??'

"Traitor to your people or not, all of my soldiers kneel before me."

Rei swallowed hard. "My allegiance lies with you."

"Good. Your thoughts reflect your words. You may rise."

She complied, and found her knees were almost knocking together. The 
amount of power this woman held was frightening.

"I have another mission for you."

"Yes, my Queen?" Dear God, she was going to be sick. Focus. Focus.

"I need you to do some reconnaissance work. You're familiar with the 
palace, so you'd be able to move around undetected. I need you to find 
the weak spots in their defenses. We're less than a week out now, and I 
need all the information I can get to be sure this operation will be a 
success."

Mars nodded dully. The palace? Damn. What if she slipped up? What if 
someone spotted her? She wouldn't be able to raise a hand against her 
friends. Friends? It took all she had in her just to knock Venus over 
last time, and she was sure Venus was more than a friend.

Venus. No. Don't think about her. Seriously a bad time to do such a 
thing. Sure enough, there was the tickle again. She blanked her mind out 
immediately.

Beryl seemed satisfied, and released her grip on the soldiers thoughts. 
This was really getting dangerous now. She wouldn't be able to stay on 
her toes indefinitely.

"I'll do my best."

"Good. Report back as soon as you've gathered enough intelligence."

Mars nodded, and waved her hand, and it felt as though she couldn't leap 
through the portal fast enough.

Beryl smiled. "Jadeite. Go keep on eye on her."

The blonde man from the fire soldier's morning encounter smirked. "With 
pleasure."

--------------

Once she found herself back on the moon, Rei let out the shaky breath 
she hadn't realized she had been holding. This was going to drive her 
insane. If she didn't hurry, she was going to crack under the pure 
strain of just trying to keep her wits.

Was she crazy already? Like she could report back on the moon's 
defenses. Might as well just open the damn doors for that horrid witch 
and...

The hair on the back of her neck rose. Yeah. She was being followed 
already. Wonderful. She made a mental note to deal with it later as she 
scurried up a tree to get a better view of the grounds. Dark clouds had 
begun to roll in from the west, and it looked as though a storm were 
brewing. Definitely a plus, as it would give her some cover.

The soldier sighed lightly. And it had looked like it was going to be 
such a beautiful day. She was really beginning to think she had lost her 
mind. Was she desperate enough to believe that her plan would work? 
Someone important had told her something once about desperation, but of 
course, she couldn't remember it anymore. Her memory was a strange 
thing. If she couldn't remember something, did that mean it never 
happened at all? Memory was just a written record in her mind of all the 
things she had done in life. She shuddered slightly. Those people on 
Earth could rewrite that record so easily, and with no second thoughts. 
What had they rewritten for her? After all was said and done, could she 
rewrite it herself and repair the damage?

A slight commotion to her left peaked her interest, and she leaned out 
onto a heavy branch for a better look.

Her heart twisted painfully, and she damn near fell out of her perch. 
Venus, right there, less than ten feet in front of her. She stilled 
herself completely, and held her breath. If she were found now, 
everything would be blown.

But she'd get to come home. She'd get to see Minako, and have her fill 
in all of the little missing pieces of her tampered memory. Was that so 
bad?

She smashed that thought down before it had a chance to grow on her. She 
was doing this for them. For all of them. She just had to earn Beryl's 
trust, and then get close enough to slay the witch. It meant more time 
away from home, and there was definitely a chance that she would fail 
miserably. Going up against a woman with that power alone? Even if she 
did succeed, she'd be killed by that horrid army on the way out..

But if this worked, there wouldn't even be a war. Hell, for that, she'd 
forfeit her life in a heartbeat.

"Did you find anything?"

Mars grit her teeth.

Damn. Neptune had appeared from her right side. She was good, and it was 
highly doubtful that they would pass her by now. But how had they known 
she'd be here? Her senses prickled. Great. Whoever had followed her here 
was close by now too. If discovered, she'd have to fight and make it 
look real.

The blonde below her shook her head. "No. But whatever it is, it's 
close."

Neptune gave Minako a small grin. "You owe me for this one."

"Huh?" Venus replied, clearly confused.

'Huh?' Mars leaned forward slightly. What the hell was Michiru talking 
about?

It happened quickly. One moment, the fire soldier was sitting on her 
perch, and the next, she was face down in the grass, with a knee pressed 
firmly in the middle of her back.

"Hey Mars." Neptune said smoothly. "How have you been?"

Rei cringed inwardly. Definitely not good. She balled her hands into 
fists and prepared to make her own move. The sharp point of a dagger 
pressed against the side of her throat, however, blew her strategy out 
of the water.

Mars let out an audible sigh. 'Dear God, I can't even fight the forces 
of darkness in relative peace? Why does everything have to be so damn 
difficult?'

Venus took a cautious step towards the pair, but the water soldier waved 
her off. "She might still be dangerous. This would be a damn good time 
to slap that bracelet on her!"

The fire soldier took the spilt second's distraction as her cue and 
knocked the dagger aside. Huh. Like they'd really slit her throat 
anyway. She tossed Michiru off of her back and leapt to her feet, 
spinning quickly to face her fellow soldiers.

'Kill them!! Kill them now!!'

Mars froze. What the hell was that?

'I said KILL THEM!!'

Rei shook her head frantically, trying desperately to regain control of 
herself, but her body had other ideas, drawing her sword and moving into 
a battle stance. She had that horrible sense of being disconnected 
again, as though she were outside her body, watching the scene unfold.

Her eyes met the blonde's, and she prayed to whatever higher power that 
was listening that Minako could see it wasn't her doing this.

Neptune reacted quickly, drawing her own sword, and casting a distressed 
look in the blonde's direction. "Venus, come on. We knew it might come 
to this."

Minako shook her head. "No."

"What?" Michiru cried. "Look at her!"

The fire soldier surged forward, striking out at Neptune and grazing her 
cheek with her blade. The water soldier jumped back and narrowed her 
eyes. Whatever control Mars might have had over herself last time, it 
looked as though she had lost it now. They fought savagely, trading 
heavy blows back and forth. Michiru could tell there was no holding back 
this go round, and if she got careless, there would be some serious 
wounds involved.

"Stop it!" Minako cried desperately. "Don't do this!"

"Damn, look at her eyes Minako! It's like she doesn't even have a soul!" 
Neptune barked, straining hard under the weight of the fire soldier's 
blows.

"That's not how I see it!" Venus yelled back, breaking the deadly test 
of power the two had gotten into. Rei whipped her head around and caught 
the look in Minako's eyes, flush with tears.

Mars was struck by a horrible stinging sensation behind her eyes, and it 
blinded her temporarily, giving Neptune enough time to slam a heavy fist 
into her face.

--------------------

"Hey Mars, are you ok?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." Rei mumbled weakly. "Don't mind me. I'm just going to 
lie here and BLEED to death, if that's alright with you."

Venus grunted. "You're heavy enough as it is. I can deal without the 
smart comments, thank you."

"I can do whatever I want, dammit..." the fire soldier slurred quietly.

"Alright, fine, as long as it involves you keeping your eyes open."

"Were...you always...this bossy?"

The blonde grinned, despite the less than stellar conditions the group 
had found themselves in. "Someone has to be. Besides. I never told you 
to throw yourself in front of the blast like that."

"I believe in bleeding." Mars rasped weakly.

"What?" Venus cried in response, probably a little louder than 
necessary. She'd do whatever it took to keep Rei's eyes open until they 
could get to a medic back at their makeshift base.

"To bleed like this...it means you're okay..."

"I don't understand." the blonde replied, adjusting her grip on Mars, 
struggling with all her might to keep the fire soldier on her feet.

"If I'm the one bleeding, it means you aren't. That's what I believe in. 
Screw the powers that be."

"That's not how I see it, Rei. No one should bleed. No one should be 
injured."

Mars chuckled weakly. "We're soldiers. It's inevitable."

"That may be," Venus growled, "but I refuse to be the cause of something 
that horrible. It's almost as bad as me stabbing you myself."

Rei shook her head. "You'd never do something like that. Never. That's 
why I'll always bleed for you, and for her."

Tears stung the blonde's eyes. "You're such a dummy. You know that?"

"Whatever you say, boss."

--------------------

Mars moaned from her position on the ground, cupping her rather crunched 
and bloody nose in her hands. Now what the hell was that? A memory? What 
happened? How did she lose control like that? Beryl. Beryl had found a 
way to use her mind after all. Sure , she had made a deal with the 
helper, but she had said nothing about the Dark Queen. Regardless, she 
had snapped out of it now.

Neptune had really surprised her. Thank God. Minako had been unwilling 
to fight, What would have happened had she attacked the blonde instead? 
The pair moved in on her, but she made no move to combat them now. She 
was more worried about her rather foggy state of mind.

It was a memory. The harder she focused on it, the clearer the image 
became. Four years ago, they had all been out to a distant planet, on a 
peace keeping mission. That had encountered some hostile demons, and 
Mars had taken a blow meant for Venus. She had barely pulled out of that 
one alive.

Minako had triggered it, unknowingly, and had given her back her 
control. She felt comforted by that fact, even as Michiru pulled her 
hand roughly away from her face and snapped a plain silver bracelet on 
her wrist. She just felt so damn tired.

"Hopefully, Ami knows what she's doing, and this should keep her in 
check." Neptune muttered.

'In check?'

Movement just behind the blonde caught the Martian's eye, and pure dread 
filled her stomach. Damn! It was the man who had followed her here! She 
recognized him as the general from this morning, and judging from the 
energy he had gathered into his hands, he had his own ideas on what to 
do with Venus and Neptune. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. She 
forced herself up, drawing her small dagger out of her boot as she rose. 
She used all the strength she could muster into her arms, and knocked 
her friends back, tackling the man around the waist and driving her 
dagger into his chest, just under his sternum.

"I knew it!" He rasped as he fell, spitting a mouthful of blood into the 
solder's face. "She'll eat you alive!!"

"She already is. But let me tell you something." Mars hissed darkly, 
wiping the blood off of her face. "No one dies without a purpose. Do you 
want to know what yours is?"

Jadeite fought to get to his feet, but the fire soldier held fast.

Rei regarded him with sorrowful eyes. "By dying here today, you're going 
to help me end a war."

"Im...possible..."

"Nothing is impossible." Mars replied quietly, driving the dagger 
deeper.

The general coughed weakly, choking on his own blood. The Martian 
twitched slightly. 'With every life I end, I think a part of me dies as 
well. God, I want out.'

After what she swore was an eternity, he fell still. It took everything 
she had in her to control the urge to hang her head and weep. Everything 
was so wrong. Everything was so messed up. But she still had a job to 
do, and she was running out of time. If she didn't hurry, Beryl would 
certainly find out about today's events, and she really would be eaten 
alive. She rose to her feet, turning to face her friends. "I don't have 
much time, but you have to believe me. Everything's going to be 
alright."

"Okay. What the hell is going on?" Neptune demanded.

Venus however, decided she could really care less. She launched herself 
straight at Rei and threw her arms around the soldier, breaking down 
into uncontrollable sobs. Mars swallowed hard, and allowed herself to 
wrap her arms around the blonde. She couldn't remember much of anything 
anymore, but she certainly could remember what home felt like.

And this felt like home.

As the rain that had formed in the clouds above their heads finally 
began to pour down, Mars took it as a definite sign that she had to 
hurry.

"Hey Minako..."she murmured quietly. "I know you're going to hate me for 
this, but I have to go."

"No." the blonde stated firmly, tightening her hold. "I can't do this 
anymore Rei. I just can't."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop." Venus whispered, pressing her face into the Martian's neck. " 
Just stop right there. I don't know what you're doing, but we need you 
here. I need you here."

"But I have to." Rei replied softly. "This is my chance to take care of 
all of you. I can stop all of this, right now. No fighting, no blood. I 
just have to try."

Minako pulled back far enough to look into Rei's eyes. "But look at 
what's happening to you! Why did you even leave in the first place??"

Mars stiffened. "I didn't want to hurt you, but it seems like the more 
I've tried to prevent it, the more damage I do. The longer I stay here, 
the greater the risk. She'll find out I'm here, and it will ruin 
everything."

"Beryl?"

"Who else?" Rei replied bitterly. "I thought that if I could earn her 
trust, I might even get close enough to do some real damage, maybe even 
stop this whole chain of events."

"Alone?"

"It's better than watching you die!" Mars cried as her heart twisted 
painfully in her chest. "Face it. We don't have a chance unless someone 
does something drastic! I was given the chance, so I took it!"

"What has she done to you?" Minako asked quietly.

"They have been trying to brainwash me." Rei replied softly. "Aside from 
today, I've managed to hold on, but they've taken almost every memory 
I've ever made with you. All I'm sure of anymore is that I love you, and 
I'll protect you, no matter what."

"Don't go." Venus sobbed. "God, don't go. I don't need protection! I 
need you here!"

"I have to." she said firmly, gently disentangling herself from the 
blonde's arms. "Between Endymion and I, we can tear that place apart. 
He's been on the inside before, so he knows the layout. I'll be back, as 
soon as I can, in one piece. I promise. Please...just stay strong..."

Minako pulled Rei close and kissed her tenderly. She backed up slowly, 
eyes full of tears, and put on a false smile. "There. Just in case you 
forget again."

Rei swallowed the painful lump in her throat as tears stung her eyes. 
"Like I'd forget that."

"You better come back."

"I will." Mars opened a dark portal and hoisted Jadeite over her 
shoulder. "It'll look better for me if I bring the body back." she added 
quietly when she caught Michiru's quizzical look.

"Oh. Mars. One last thing." Neptune replied. "That bracelet. Mercury 
designed it to control the demon that had possessed you. I don't know 
how well it will work against all of that dark energy you'll be 
surrounded by, but something is better than nothing."

"Thank you. Anything is better than you beating me down again." Mars 
said quietly. "Please explain to the others..."

"Of course."

Mars looked over at Venus, and tried to ignore the horrible felling in 
her gut that it would be for the last time. "I do love you Mina. Please 
don't forget that."

"Hey, you're the one with the memory problem." Minako replied in a shaky 
voice, trying her best to put on a brave face. "And I love you too."

The Martian gave Venus a genuine smile. What the hell was she thinking, 
willingly leaving this behind? She shook her head roughly and jumped 
through the portal.

Onwards to Part 19


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