'Please go easy on me. I'm feeling out of order.' ---------------- Mars froze as all the circuits in her brain tripped. Her body stiffened as she became more than aware of the slim form she held in her arms. Her blood rushed in her ears, and even her breathing sounded like a dull roar. 'What am I doing? Dear God, what am I doing?' Her eyes closed, and she kissed her princess back. Everything seemed to stop, and Mars felt as though she were holding Serenity for an eternity. A sound somewhere at the end of the corridor startled them both, and the blonde jumped out of her arms, looking just as shocked as Rei. "Rei...I'm so sorry..." she whispered, tears falling from her beautiful blue eyes. "I don't know what came over me." Mars was locked in dumbfounded shock. All she could do was stare at her princess, mouth agape. "I'm sorry!" Serenity choked out, tearing her eyes away from Rei's. She disappeared into her room, slamming the door behind her. "...huh?" Mars asked the door, her mind reeling. Two and two began to add up, and comprehension slowly began to dawn on the fire soldier. "Wait...what?" she cried, almost angry now. She moved forward, fully intent on entering the princess' room, but another commotion from the end of the hall froze her feet in place. Jupiter and Mercury rounded the corner, laughing quietly. Jupiter halted her steps for a moment, pulling Ami to her and kissing her soundly. Mars watched the pair wordlessly, still in a mild state of shock. Mercury and Jupiter however were still completely oblivious to the fact that she was standing there. Ami broke the kiss, and leaned up to whisper something in Makoto's ear. Whatever it was must have been good, because the brunette broke into a full blush. That's when her eyes locked with Rei's. Her face flushed even redder, and she nodded her head to Mercury to indicate that they had company. Mercury turned around, and blushed prettily when she noticed Mars. "Ah, sorry Rei. Didn't know you were standing there." Jupiter mumbled sheepishly. Mars nodded slowly. "Are you alright Rei? You look like you've seen a ghost." Inside, Mars cracked. She wanted to laugh, scream and cry, all while beating her head against the wall. Instead, she forced her calm demeanor back into place, carefully sliding the mask she had crafted for so long over her features. "I'm fine." Mars replied, forcing a grin. "Just watching you two paw all over each other." Her fellow soldiers flushed again. 'That should stop the questions.' But Jupiter had one more. "Where's Serenity?" "Sleeping!" Mars blurted out, a little too quickly for her liking. She mentally face-palmed herself and grinned. "She had a long day. And so did I. I think I'm going to go to bed." Mercury nodded. "You look like you really need it." 'NO KIDDING!' "But before you go, Venus was looking for you. I saw her heading out into the garden." Ami added. 'Venus? Do I know a Venus?' Mars paled. "Are you sure you're alright Mars? Maybe we should get you back to your room." Jupiter said with a worried look. 'Venus. Oh God. Venus. What will I tell her???' Faintly, her brain hummed, trying to point out the fact that her friends were staring at her like she had sprouted an extra head. "No! Ah, no. I'm ok. Just really tired. I'll go catch up with Minako. Goodnight." "Goodnight." they responded in unison as Mars took off down the hall. "Huh." Jupiter muttered after she had gone. --------------------- Rei didn't know what else to do, so she settled for pacing in her room, feeling like a caged animal. Everything felt hot, and suffocating. She changed into loose black pants, and a large white collared shirt, hoping the extra space would help sooth her nerves. It didn't. 'I don't understand. I just don't understand. I've got all I've ever wanted, so why now? Is this some kind of sick joke?' She felt anxious, as though she could crawl right up to the ceiling if she wanted to, and she didn't like it one bit. Everything had gone so well earlier, and she had honestly had fun today just being with Minako. But how would Venus like her now? She had to tell her what happened, it felt too horrible to even think about doing otherwise. 'I have no idea what she'll do. She'll doubt everything I've built up with her. But I've loved the princess for so long, it hurts. I can't have everything, and I don't know what to do. Maybe I was right all along, maybe it was a mistake to get involved.' She slammed her palms into her windowsill roughly, almost wishing a demon would attack just so she would have something to pound on. Mars let out a frustrated sigh and let her eyes wander out the window. 'I feel homesick. Homesick for something I'm not even familiar with. If I lose Minako, it would tear me apart.' The Earth hung heavy in the night sky, looking as though it would swallow everything else up. Her chest ached, and her head throbbed. She glared at the hideous blue orb that was supposed to doom them all and began to laugh, quietly at first, but eventually it evolved into something much louder. She laughed until her already aching sides stung painfully, and tears fell from her eyes. "I've lost it." she announced aloud, her voice hoarse. 'Let me go back in time. Let me do it all over again. I'd do it right. I liked being happy. Am I supposed to be happy? I got what I wanted, right? So why am I up here in the dark, all alone, acting like an idiot? 'I'll tell you why.' her brain grumbled. 'Venus is going to be pissed. She won't trust you at all after this. Have you even thought about what you're going to say to Serenity? You can't avoid her. You've loved her almost your whole life. She's all you've ever wanted.' Mars scowled. "Shut up brain, or I will drown you in liquor." The soldier let out a defeated sigh and thumped her head against iron bars. "And now I'm having conversations with myself. Wonderful. God, I just want an answer. I need to know what to do!" A knock at her door nearly caused her to go into cardiac arrest. "Rei? It's me, can I come in?" 'Damn!! Damn damn damn!!! It's Venus! I need to do something!! Think fast!" Her eyes darted wildly around the room, resting on her barred window. Jump out the window? She wasn't that desperate. The door knob clicked. That's settled it. She was that desperate. Venus eased open the door to the fire soldier's room and was taken aback by the sight that greeted her. "What in the world are you doing Rei?" Mars had both feet plated firmly on the wall, a good three feet off the ground. She had the iron grate that blocked her window from enemy attacks firmly clutched in both hands, and she was currently yanking on it for all her worth, trying to pry them loose. Her head snapped back towards the door with the blonde's entrance, and the bars finally gave way. She flew backwards, sliding on her back head first across the floor until she skidded to a stop a few feet away from Minako, grate still in her hands. 'That cute little white dress. I love that dress on her. AGH! What are you doing?? Focus!!' "Um, hi?" Mars stammered weakly. "Hi." Venus replied, raising in eyebrow in confusion. "What are you doing?" Mars shrugged weakly from her spot on the floor. "Testing the security? If I can pull these off, imagine what the enemy can do!" Minako gave her a dubious look. 'Bloody brilliant!! What are you doing for your next trick, Wonder Mars?' Mars squinted up at the blonde. "Did you know that in a past life I killed puppies and orphans?" "What??" "Never mind." Rei mumbled, getting to her feet. "Inside joke." "Alright. That's it. What's going on?" Venus demanded, crossing her arms. "Nothing. I'm just...relieving stress." Mars replied, waving her hand nonchalantly, forgetting all about the grate she still held. Venus looked at the mass of iron in her hand, and then back to Mars. "That's all? You're just stressed? Funny. I've seen you stressed, and I must say, the palace usually doesn't fall apart when you have a bad day." Rei sighed wearily and tossed the grate to the floor. 'I'm going to close my eyes, and count to ten. When I open them, I'll be sitting in my bar, way past intoxicated, and the past few weeks will have been nothing more than a drunken hallucination.' Ten seconds passed, and Mars opened her eyes slowly. A very agitated Venus was still waiting for some sort of explanation. 'Come on, Powers That Be. Have I been that evil?' "Look Rei, I don't know what's gotten into you, but you're making me crazy! You go from being perfectly fine, to acting like a total nutcase. Then you're fine with me, and now you avoid me! What's going on? Why were you going to jump out the window?" "Um, it seemed like a spectacular idea at the time." Mars mumbled quietly. "So you'd rather jump out a window than see me?" Rei flinched, as though she had been punched. "No, it's not like that." "Looks that way to me." Mars twitched nervously. "I've just had a long day. I'm really tired, I haven't slept, and that makes me do stupid things." "That I can agree with. Now how about you tell me the truth?" "The truth?" Rei repeated dumbly. "Yes. As in the opposite of a lie. I know you're not that slow. I've been around you long enough to know when something's wrong." The blonde sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair absently. "I want to help you, Rei. I really do." "No. You don't. Trust me on this. In fact, I think it would be better if you just stayed away from me." Mars replied softly, tearing her eyes away from Minako. It broke her heart just to say the words, and she couldn't bring herself to watch the pain she knew they would cause. Venus took a step back. "W...why?" "Because." the Martian choked out. "I ruin everything I touch, and I've already ruined what we had." "What are you talking about?" Venus asked softy. "I can't lie to you." Rei laughed bitterly. "God, I almost wish I could. But I need to know what to do. I need my answer." She shook her head. "I want to tell you something before you decide that you never want to see me again." Minako said nothing, but the look on her face already spoke volumes of distrust. Rei felt a jarring pain in her chest. Her heart crawled up into her throat, and she had to force back the tears that threatened to spill over. She burned a hole into the floor with her eyes, because she couldn't bring herself to face the blonde. "I had fun. I really did. When I was with you, I swear, everything else melted away. All the pain and loneliness, all my fears and insecurities, you banished them all with just your smile. There were days when I felt I would jump out of my skin if I couldn't touch you. I didn't understand it, and I still don't. The perfect words to say to you, to make you see how I felt, never came to my mind because I was too busy thinking of you.." The fire soldier let out a shaky breath. "And here you are, standing in front of me, turning everything that used to be so simple upside down and inside out, and I think I'll go mad if it all goes back to normal. But tonight, all of a sudden, everything I was so sure of earlier today was torn apart in less than thirty seconds. I tried so hard not to promise you anything, because I didn't want to hurt you." The blonde stood, locked in a stunned silence. 'Speechless. I made her speechless. An otherwise impossible feat.' Mars met her eyes at last, feeling almost positive that this would be the last time Minako would let her close. "Minako, I walked Serenity to her room today, after we all came in. Everything seemed so normal. I don't even know how it happened, but she kissed me." Mars swallowed roughly. "She kissed me the way you kiss me, and I kissed her back." Venus was still rooted to her spot, head bent down, and Rei felt her chest tighten painfully. "Minako, say something, please..." "What can I say?" the blonde whispered faintly. Mars could hear the tears in her voice, was sure she just felt her heart break in half. "I'm sorry, Mina. I'm so very sorry." "Don't." Minako whispered dangerously. "I've heard that line before. Next you'll say you didn't want to hurt me." "I didn't do it to hurt you!!" Venus looked her straight in the eyes. "You know what hurts the most Rei? I actually started to care about you, more than I can say. I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, you felt the same. I thought that we could have moved past the whole substitute stage." Mars cringed, tears prickling her eyes. "It wasn't like that. That I can promise." "What was it then?" Minako cried. "I was falling for you!! Do you think it would hurt me this much if you were just a substitute?? Don't you think I'd be happy with the princess if that were the case? But all I've been able to think about is how much I care about..." Mars froze. Her answer. There it was. 'You idiot.' Minako was still glaring at her angrily, while Rei was flooded with such a sense of overwhelming relief, she felt completely at peace for what must have been the first time in her entire life. "Mina, I'm not asking you to leave." Mars started, "I'm asking you to forgive me, and to stay." "What?" Rei closed the distance between them, and dropped to her knees. She reached up, taking one of the blonde's hands in her own, and took a deep breath for courage. "Please forgive me. Please. I want to be with you, and only you. You're the one I want to see everyday, and you're the one I think about during every waking moment." Mars swallowed hard, ignoring the tears that blurred her vision. "I couldn't bear it if I saw you every single day, but I couldn't hold you close. The thought scares me more than anything else, because I'd be lost without you. If... if I lost you now, because of something so stupid, it would kill me inside." Mars swallowed hard. She was so scared and nervous, she was shaking. Her head dropped. 'What a sight I must be. The great warrior, on her knees, shaking like a child.' "Are you sure this is what you want?" Minako asked at last, her voice cracking. "Mina, I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life." Venus knelt on the floor in front of Mars, still gripping her hand tightly. "I couldn't handle it if you left me, Rei. Not now, not ever. I just need to know that this is what you want. All I've wanted this whole time is to know how you felt, and that's all that mattered to me." "Minako, I think I've fallen in love with you. I just wish it wouldn't have taken such a stupid action for me to figure it out." Venus launched herself forward, knocking Mars over onto the floor, and kissed her fiercely. "Damn." Mars breathed. "Does this mean you forgive me?" "Just shut up and kiss me." Rei was more than happy to oblige, wrapping her arms tightly around her goddess and kissing her deeply. Minako moaned into the kiss, and Mars felt her heart jump into double-time. She buried her fingers into golden silk, and kissed the lips she swore she'd die without. She felt soft hands slide under her shirt, and delicate fingers danced over her sides, causing the fire soldier to catch her breath in her throat. "Minako...wait...wait a minute." "Hm?" the blonde murmured between kisses. "We have to stop, just for a moment." Rei panted out. Minako pulled back, uncertainty etched over her features. "It's alright." Mars assured her with a dashing smile. "It just seems like a crime to have the beautiful goddess of love on the cold floor." "Oh." Venus replied, blushing prettily. "Can't feel too good on you back either I'd imagine. You kinda did fling yourself across the room earlier." "I told you. You make me crazy." Rei grumbled playfully, releasing her hold on Minako. The blonde rose to her feet, holding out a hand to Mars, giggling cutely when they stumbled over each other. The fire soldier caught Venus by surprise, sweeping her off of her feet and carrying her to the bed. Mars laid her down gently on the soft mattress, and smiled. "Just promise me something Minako." "Hm?" "Don't punch me in the morning." The blonde laughed, and wrapped her arms around Rei's neck, pulling her down beside her. "As long as you promise not to shove me under the bed." "Oh come on, I'd never do something like that." "Liar! Listen to you and your lies!" Minako cried, crinkling her face up in mock anger. "I bet you said all those sweet, wonderful things just to get me into bed." "But I haven't done anything to you yet." Rei pointed out. "Oh." Mars laughed quietly. "You're so cute when you make those faces." "Hmph. Like I'd listen to anything a liar says." "Hey now, you've only been trying to seduce me since we were what, ten?" Mars replied. "You remember all that?" Minako asked, clearly surprised. Rei nodded. "Well, it's not my fault you're so slow." Venus giggled. "True. But you could cut me some slack. I'm trying." "Oh fine, you baby." the blonde murmured, meeting the fire soldier's lips with her own. Mars let out a quiet sound of contentment from the back of her throat. Minako's lips were so soft and warm, and she could feel the loving tenderness behind them. She let a hand slide down to the blonde's waist, and ran her fingers over the smooth fabric of her dress, feeling the perfectly toned stomach underneath. A small sound, almost a whimper, escaped the blonde's lips and lit Mars' body on fire. "God, you're beautiful." Rei whispered, burying her face into her neck, kissing and sucking at Minako's pulse point. Venus intertwined her fingers into raven hair and pulled her closer. Mars began to feel that warm, suffocating feeling again, only this time she was pretty sure it had nothing to do with bad nerves. Venus grabbed the collar of her shirt with her free hand and pulled the Martian up for another searing kiss, and Rei could feel her self restraint breaking away under the skillful lips of the goddess. Mars took total control, feeling the need to reconfirm all the newly formed feelings in her heart. She gazed at the slim form beneath her and wondered again how she could have been so damn foolish to even think about giving her up. Beautiful blue eyes gazed up at her, trusting, with a hint of vulnerability. "I used to think I was invincible, untouchable." Rei whispered, resting a hand on Minako's knee. "But you've taught me otherwise. Just looking at you makes my legs go weak, and my heart beats so fast I can't even think straight." She slid her hand down the blonde's thigh, gently caressing silky smooth skin. Venus gasped, and Mars could feel the muscles under her fingers tighten. She leaned forward, stealing a kiss from those wonderful lips, and smiled faintly when long nails ran down her spine. Their lips met again, and something seemed to click into place. The kisses became more heated and desperate. Rei pulled her up into a half-sitting position, grasping the hem of her dress and pulling it up and off. The blonde shook her head, and long silken hair tumbled down her back. "Mm. Not fair." she purred. "What's good enough for me should be good enough for you." Swift, gentle hands removed Rei's shirt and caressed the skin underneath. The Martian's breath caught in her throat as warm loving arms encircled her neck and pulled her back down. Mars' head swam dizzily. She could never remember anything feeling this wonderful. She regretted that their first time had been under less than perfect conditions, but she fully intended to make up for it now. As the blonde removed the rest of her clothing, she was pretty sure that Venus agreed with her. Rei pulled the nude form of her goddess close, marveling at how well their bodies fit together. Minako locked her legs around the soldier's waist and moaned as Mars left burning trails of fire wherever her fingers touched. The raven haired woman felt the blonde's skin quivering under her ministrations, and knew she was ready. She ran her hands over Minako's thighs slowly, torturing her purposely.. The blonde whimpered, digging her nails into the Martian's back, leaving long, red furrows. Mars leaned over her, catching her lips once more, before gently slipping inside. Venus arched her back, crying out the fire soldier's name as she drove her over the edge repeatedly, her arms trembling as she held Rei tightly. Mars swallowed nervously as the blonde began to come down from the edge of oblivion and kissed her tenderly, before moving her lips to Minako's ear. "I...I love you Mina." Venus gasped, her hold on Mars tightening. "Oh Rei..." she murmured quietly, tears filling her cerulean blue eyes. "I love you too." Rei laughed, her vision blurred by her own tears. "Thank God." She kissed the blonde sweetly, never wanting to let her go. "Thank God..." ------------------------- As the sun peeked through Mars' rather mangled window, she blinked sleepily. A warm, comforting weight on her chest brought an easy smile to her face. She kissed the top of Minako's head softly, chuckling lightly when the blonde mumbled something about 'God forsaken mornings' and pulled the blanket over her head. "I couldn't agree more." Rei murmured, snuggling back into her pillow, and her goddess.
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