Wishful Thinking (part 1 of 24)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by ladyhades

If it hurts, don't do it.

"I can't confront the doubts I have. I can't admit that maybe the past 
was bad, and so, for the sake of momentum, I'm condemning the future to 
death so it can match the past.'

-----------

"I need another drink."

"No you don't! The princess will have my head if she catches you ." came 
the gentle, yet chiding reply.

Mars scowled. "You know, she's not my mother, and it's my night off. 
Speaking of which, shouldn't you be taking your post? You are the 
leader..."

The soldier of Venus gave a musical laugh and shook her head, blonde 
hair flowing down her back like a silken waterfall. She swung around on 
her stool until she was facing the bar, and propped her head up on one 
arm. Deep cerulean eyes closed, and she let out a sigh of contentment. 
The dim light of the crystals on the wall cast a surreal glow over her 
golden armor. It was heavy enough to protect the soldiers from most 
hits, but light enough to provide them plenty of flexibility and quick 
reflexes in the thick of battle. A typical suit consisted of a chest and 
back plate, gauntlets, and plated leg armor that stopped mid thigh over 
a long shirt and pants. Each of the chosen warriors from the star system 
had their own unique color, with the symbol of their home world emblazed 
on the back.

Besides, getting drunk, plus shiny things, equaled supreme happiness as 
far as Mars was concerned. Dear God. She was starting to sound like 
Serenity.

"Jupiter swapped with me tonight. She'd do just about anything to spend 
time with Mercury." The blonde replied, cracking one eye open to watch 
her comrade's face for any visible reaction. None. How typically boring.

The fire warrior ordered another shot anyway with a subtle wave of her 
hand, and the barmaid had it in front of the raven haired woman in 
seconds. Before the cheerful blonde could protest, Mars had downed it 
and slammed the glass back on the counter with the faintest slip of a 
smile gracing her features. "And you're gonna spend your night off with 
me in a bar?"

Venus let her eyes wander around the tavern. It really was a dark little 
dive. The two warriors sat at the lone counter against the far back 
wall, on rickety, rotten wooden stools Five tables were arranged 
haphazard around the room behind them, looking tired and old. The floor 
seemed to heave and groan under it's own weight, the wooden planks 
blackened and worn where many unhappy souls had dragged their feet. The 
barmaid, if she could even be called that, was at her station behind the 
counter, wiping the inside of a glass with a dirty rag. Grey, snarled 
curls crowned her head. Her cheeks sagged, and her lower jaw seemed to 
stick out a little farther than her upper. A hooked, broken nose and 
swollen, bloodshot eyes gave her the appearance of some horrible dog 
demon, Venus decided. A horrible dog demon built like a barn.

The blonde ran her eyes over her friend, taking in the dark haired woman 
in her black armor. 'Like an angel of darkness'. she decided. It made 
her heart twinge to think of Mars, sitting in this dingy bar, in her 
dark armor, looking like another lost soul. She tossed her hair over her 
shoulder and sighed. "I really don't know why you come to places like 
this Mars. The kingdom is filled with so many beautiful things, and yet 
you go out of your way to find the hideous."

Dog-demon-barn lady snorted rather ungracefully and poured two shots, 
placing one in front of Mars, and sliding the other across the counter 
to Venus.

"Now you's listen here little lady." Dog woman growled. "If it weren't 
for the little pyro here, me an' all the other undesirables would be 
dead. During the last great battle, she came down on her lonesome to 
protect us from those damn monsters." She nodded to herself, a half 
smile gliding over her face. "The only reason I don't up and kick your 
girly prim n' proper ass outta her is cause you're with her." she added, 
with a jerk of her head in Mars' general direction. "Now you drink that 
Blondie. Loosen yourself up."

Venus' jaw dropped and an indignant look crossed her delicate features. 
She slammed her arms down on the counter and rose from her seat, her 
golden armor clinking in protest as she stood.

Mars reached over and rested a black gloved hand on her shoulder, 
shaking her head back and forth. She could see it already. Her proud 
leader would throw out the, 'Do you know who I AM?' speech and it would 
be all down hill from there. As much as she liked a good brawl, all she 
wanted to do was get good and tanked tonight. "Hey, Venus, let it go. 
Hilde didn't mean any harm. Besides, it's just us here, so no one saw 
the blow to the ego."

Venus huffed and flopped back down on her stool, but not before fixing 
Hilde with the most horrible death glare she could muster. "Yeah, well, 
tell Witch Helga over there to call off the dogs and I'll behave." She 
growled.

Hilde let out a horrible cackle and turned her eyes on Mars. "Hey Pyro! 
I thought you were too old to play with dolls! Where did you manage to 
find one that talks?"

"Doll?!?! Well, you're just jealous DOG LADY! Probably haven't gotten 
any action in the last century!" Venus snapped.

"Shaddup Blondie, before I waltz over there, take the stick outta your 
butt, and beat you with it." Hilde tossed back, with a dismissive wave 
of her hand.

Mars swore she could see steam shooting out of Venus' ears, and she just 
lost it. She crossed her arms across the counter, buried her head in 
them, and began laughing hysterically.

Venus and the barmaid had stopped tossing insults, and were now watching 
the fire soldier in wonder. Mars stopped laughing long enough to look 
up, and upon seeing the looks of pure confusion on the women's faces, 
burst into new peals of laughter, tears running from her dark violet 
eyes.

Hilde smirked again, and looked over at Venus. "Now, Blondie, is it 
really all that hideous?"

Venus glanced at Mars' giggling form, and let out a sigh of defeat. "No. 
No it's not." she replied with a light smile. "Ah, what the hell." she 
murmured, and downed her own shot.

-----------

Hours later, a very drunk Mars was dragging an equally drunk Venus back 
to the palace. "So much for not getting drunk on your watch." Mars 
quipped with a dopey grin, readjusting the blonde's arm that was slung 
over her shoulders.

"Yeaaaaaaah, how bout that? The two top member's of the princess' guard, 
staggering home." Venus drawled, giggling when she stumbled slightly. 
"Ya know what Pyro? This is all your fault. Hn. Pyro. I really like that 
nickname. It fits you."

"My fault?" The raven haired woman repeated, shaking her head to clear 
her blurry vision. "Who's the one that wanted to turn this into a 
contest?"

"It was worth it, just to hear that story from your mouth. You 
protecting all those people. I didn't even know the monsters had made it 
out this far. You're a hero."

Mars scoffed. "Some hero. I needs my bottle"

"Why do you do that?" Venus asked, cerulean blue eyes curiously peering 
up into violet ones.

"Cause I can." Mars growled. She looked down at Venus and felt her heart 
crack at the hurt look the blonde was giving her. She swallowed the lump 
in her throat and shook her head. Really did drink too much.. Making me 
soft. "You know, your eyes. They could almost be hers." she added after 
a moment.

"So that's what this is about." Venus replied.

"Oh crap. Was that out loud?" The fire soldier groaned.

Venus giggled cheerfully and nodded her head. "Can't hide anything from 
the goddess of love!"

"Some goddess." Mars retorted. "You're still single."

"Heeeey!" The blonde whined, pushing into Mars with all her weight. The 
raven haired woman staggered on drunken feet and gravity, harsh mistress 
that she was, took control. The two warriors fell in a tangled, awkward 
heap in the palace gardens.

Mars groaned as her world spun dizzily above her. She brought a gloved 
hand to her face and covered her eyes, taking slow deep breaths to 
regulate her heartbeat. 'Dear God, if I get sick and pass out here, the 
cadets will never let me hear the end of it.'

The warm, blonde squirmy mass that had planted itself on her chest 
finally rolled off, and a very disoriented looking Venus sat up slowly, 
holding her own head in her hands.

"Damn Mars, did ya have to wear your armor? I thought it was your night 
off."

"Yeah, well, some dumb blonde is always knocking me down. Gotta have 
some kind of protection. Sides. Seems like I'm not the only one"

Venus scowled rather cutely, and Mars regretted drinking as much as she 
had for the tenth time that evening. The fire warrior reached up and 
grabbed a hold of the back of Venus' chest plate and yanked her back 
down into the grass before her common sense could regain control.

The blonde let out a small squeak of protest, but settled down next to 
Mars nonetheless. They lay quiet and motionless, gazing up into the 
night sky.

"It's so beautiful." Venus breathed.

"Hn."

"What do you think of those Earth people?" The blonde asked, fixing her 
eyes on the planted that seemed to loom over both of them. "Do you think 
their queen would really try something stupid, like an attack?"

Mars narrowed her eyes at the mention of the Earthlings. "Hard to say. 
As much as I hate to admit it, Endymion seems to have pure intentions. 
But I don't want to be caught off guard. Princess Serenity seems to be 
quite taken with him." she added with a mild hint of disgust.

"Are you saying that from the view of Mars, or from the view of Rei?" 
Venus asked quietly.

Mars pushed herself up onto her elbows, and looked down at her leader. 
"You haven't called me that in forever."

Venus laughed. "We've been on alert for so long, with all these monsters 
popping up, and now all these rumors about Earth being a threat. I guess 
we all kinda go into soldier mode. Maybe it's the drink that loosened my 
tongue. Perhaps we can do something about that later." She added with a 
suggestive wink.

Mars found herself blushing under the love goddess' intense gaze and 
made a mental note to throttle the hell out of herself when she was 
sober. She sprawled back out in the grass and willed her heartbeat to 
return to normal.

"You avoided the question Rei." Venus said in a near whisper.

"What question?"

"Do you worry because it's your duty, or are you jealous?"

The raven haired warrior stiffened, and the blonde could feel the 
tension coming off of her in waves. She rolled onto her side, and laid 
her arm across Mars' chest plate.

"What are you doing Mina?" Rei asked in a low voice, using all of her 
will power to keep it from cracking. 'Please, any higher power that may 
be listening, get me out of this and I will never ever drink again. I 
swear it.'

Minako ran her fingers over the numerous dents and gashes in Rei's 
armor, a grim reminder of how short their lives could be if they weren't 
careful. She swallowed hard, and chose her words carefully before 
speaking. "We all love her, you know? Our whole existence in this world 
revolves around protecting her, and keeping her safe. It's been that way 
for generations before this one, and it will continue on after this life 
is long over."

Rei fought the cold shiver that was threatening to run over her body.

Venus continued. "We all feel just like you do. It hurts. It rips my 
heart out to see her in his arms. I guess it doesn't even surprise me 
that I feel like this. We were made to feel this way. Otherwise we 
couldn't do our jobs as effectively. She's always treated us equally, 
except for you. You're her best friend. You're always the first one she 
runs to. Good day, bad day, it doesn't matter. She'll cling to you, and 
hold onto you."

Mars squeezed her eyes shut in a vain attempt to stop the tears that 
were forming behind her lids. "Why are you doing this Minako?" she asked 
at last, her voice cracking under the strain.

"Because." the blonde answered at last, her voice wavering. Mars turned 
her head to face Venus and saw she too, had tears running down her 
beautiful face. "I can only imagine how much it hurts for you. I've seen 
it for years. I guess I was waiting for the liquid courage to say 
something." she added with a weak laugh. "Mercury and Jupiter had the 
right idea I guess. They want to be heartbroken together."

Rei felt her own heart break, and before she knew what she was doing, 
she had gathered the beautiful goddess of love up in her arms and kissed 
her.

Somewhere, in the bittersweet tangle of lips and sharp breaths, Rei 
realized they were both sobbing.

Onwards to Part 2


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