Point of No Return
“What the-“
The loud, persistent knocking that issued from her front door startled the singer. In the darkness of the apartment, with only the television to shed its flickering blue light on her surroundings, she stumbled over her unpacked luggage which she’d only just rolled in the door and abandoned earlier that afternoon.
The insistent knocks made Minako edgy. Maybe it was her security guards, upset that the singer hadn’t informed them of her whereabouts. Maybe it was her manager, coming to make sure she was all right. Maybe Artemis had mailed himself to London, upset that she had left without him. She opened the door. Maybe it was…
“Rei?” The singer was in a state of disbelief to see her best friend on her doorstep, and for a split second, she thought she was dreaming and felt compelled to jump into the other woman’s arms.
She caught herself. This was the woman who had driven her away from Tokyo. Minako’s hands rose to her face and with the long sleeves of her sweater, she dabbed the corners of her reddened eyes in defense of the tears that threatened to spill once more. ‘I can’t let her see me like this… I can’t handle this right now!’
To bear witness to Minako’s fragile state almost tore Rei to pieces, and when the door started to swing shut in her face, the miko was almost too slow to react.
Yet, when the heavy, wooden door slammed solidly against her foot, crushing it against the doorframe, Rei did little more than wince, but she never faltered. Without a word, never losing eye contact with those watery caramel eyes that looked so hurt, yet so hopeful, she shouldered her way through the door.
“Damn it Minako, I’ve already lost you twice. I’m not willing to lose you a third time.” Her voice was quiet and deathly serious.
The singer found herself backing away from the miko by the sheer determination she saw in those dark eyes, until she came to a gentle stop with her back to the foyer wall. She was speechless, for even as forceful and passionate as Rei’s character had always been, the fire she saw in the other woman’s eyes was unmatchable. There was no awkwardness to be found in that dark glare. Staring at each other in an endless silence, the front door floated closed and latched shut with a click of finality.
“I don’t understand you, Minako.” Rei’s voice teetered with emotion but her strong and steady hands found the other woman’s shoulders gently. “Every time you’re close to getting what you want, you flake out. Just like five years ago, when you learned to live as yourself and not as Venus, and you ran away from us to have the surgery in secret even though you had me there to help you through it… just like a millennia ago, when Venus sacrificed herself to the enemy in hopes of defeating it herself even though you had me there to depend on.”
The miko paused. She pondered the weight of her words, and then spat them out anyway. “You’re a coward Minako.”
Something in the singer finally snapped and she nearly growled at the miko, “If you came half way across the world to chastise my actions in the past, when you’re the one who drove me away, then I want nothing to do with you! If you couldn’t even have the common decency to tell your…your…”
The singer’s momentum crash landed. The term ‘best friend’ seemed to belittle the depth of the relationship they’d shared, but what else was it between them?
“Girlfriend.” The slightest twinge of embarrassment laced Rei’s voice… it had been impulsive, but she’d meant it.
The singer was too shocked to believe the words that had come out of Rei’s mouth, but when she noticed that the crimson blush that tinged the other woman’s cheeks didn’t diminish the determination in the miko’s dark eyes, she knew Rei had meant it.
“I should have told you about the Priestess position.” Rei’s confession was blunt and nearly rushed; too many thoughts, too many emotions that had been bottled up threatened to overflow. “I should have been a lot more open about a lot of things. But I was dealing with too much at once. My future, Reiko’s memories… you! I was… afraid.”
Minako had bared witness to Rei’s sheer determination on several occasions, and she knew when the miko was putting one hundred and ten percent of herself out there. She could sense Rei’s honesty, and could feel the other woman’s need. The singer’s voice was as soothing as the hand she gently placed on her best friend’s - ‘girlfriend’s’ - cheek. “Rei…”
But the miko’s thoughts had already been lined up and she wouldn’t let Minako’s softness deter her progression of thoughts. “I rejected the Priestess position.”
Minako frowned. “But… why?”
The miko snorted. Releasing the singer’s arms, she raised her hands in an empty gesture. “Really! Am I the only one who thinks of the future? All of you were either too wrapped up in the past or the present to remember that we needed to plan for a future, too.”
Minako surged forward, desperate to claim the space that seperated them. “I don’t understand, Rei.”
The miko’s hands idly found the long sleeves of the singer’s sweater, and when Minako’s fingers shyly laced between her own, Rei’s voice quieted as she explained. “It was a decision I knew I’d have to make a long time ago. You see, if I chose to become a priestess, I’d be negligent in my duty to the Princess, to the others.”
The singer could do little else but gaze questiongly at the other woman and rub her thumb across the top of Rei’s hand until the miko sighed and proceeded, “A priestess in the shinto faith can’t be reincartnated, Minako. If something were to happen and I couldn’t return to protect our Princess…” Her voice lowered, and once again that blush that Minako couldn’t resist colored Rei’s cheeks, “if I can’t return to protect you, then I want no part of being a Priestess.”
The singer melted at the miko’s tender words. Closing her eyes, she found herself submitting to a gentle embrace from the other woman. Although she was elated to hear the words that had come closest to a confession of her feelings from the other woman, and although she was comforted to understand just how much thought Rei had put into their relationship, she also couldn’t imagine what a difficult experience it must have been to be at odds between a duty that Rei had’t even wanted in the first place, and the spirituality that drove her every day life. “Rei-”
The dark haired woman sushed the singer. “I knew this. And yet, I continued to be a miko, progressing to this point for myself in order to hone my powers… although they are borne of my senshi strength, they are also closely tied to my faith.”
”I’m sorry.” The singer’s apology was muffled by Rei’s shoulder. “I over reacted. I was just so certain you would have taken the position. I thought you would move on without me. This all comes as a bit of a shock.”
The miko allowed a long suffering sigh to escape her lips, but hugged the slightly smaller woman closer to her never the less. “It’s just so like you to have a predestined outlook in every life. Can’t you stop playing the martyr just this once and get the other half’s input before jumping to conclusions? Really, for such a determined leader, you sure give up on things quickly. I mean, we finally start getting closer and you pull away. Don’t you think that our relationship would have played a factor in my decision?”
Minako looked up to Rei shyly, an apologetic smirk teasing the corner of her lips. “You know what they say about old habits…”
Rei snorted her agreement. “I guess we’re both a victim of that one. Besides,” she added dryly, “although it may serve to create more interest in your line of work, I don’t even want to imagine how word of our relationship, if… when it’s discovered, would damage either of my shrines. The idea of a lesbian Priestess isn’t likely to go over well by the shinto elders.”
Although she was excited to hear Rei verbalize their relationship so, meaning that she did intend for others to know that they were together, Minako couldn’t help but feel guilty that she was part of the reason that Rei had to put her dream of becoming a Priestess aside.
When the singer’s smirk faded into a sad expression, Rei shook her head. “I didn’t say that to make you feel bad. It’s a cruel reality, but one I accept. And I’ve already made my decision.” The miko turned her nose to the air, a mocking expression on her face, “I want to be with you, Minako.”
”But you…”
”Would you forget about me, Minako?” Rei asked, looking down at the singer’s troubled expression. “Just for once, what do you want?”
‘What do I want?’ The question sounded foreign, even in the confines of her own mind. After spending two lifetimes being more concerned for everyone other than herself, the blunt question; so characteristic of her best friend, shocked her enough to be equally blunt. The tears returned once more, but this time, they weren’t so bitter.
”I want, you Rei! I… I want you,” and although her words brought a gentle smile to the other woman’s face, her voice dropped to a whisper, “but I don’t want you to regret-”
Perhaps it was to hide her crimson cheeks, perhaps it was to gain the courage, but Rei pulled Minako into her once more, burying her nose behind the singer’s ear where, in a raspy whisper, she settled the score once and for all,
“This isn’t about the priestess position anymore, Minako, this is about me loving you!”
And for one second; the only second she had ever allowed herself in any lifetime, Minako allowed herself to be wholly consumed with her own happiness to have heard that one four letter word that even a millenia ago, their past personas had rarely used.
“I… I love you too, Rei. So much.”
The miko snorted into the other woman’s ear. “Well duh.”
The singer smacked her lips and when she pulled away enough to see Rei’s face again, she offered her blushing girlfriend a wide smile, thankful that for all the awkwardness the miko could display, the two of them had weatherd such a deep baring of their souls so easily. But they’d both reached their limit, and after five years, the waiting, the wondering, all of it was over, and they both had exactly what they wanted.
And now it was time to play. The singer smiled mischeviously. “So what will you do now? You can’t stay a miko forever or I’ll never get you into bed!”
This time it was the miko that smacked her lips. “Please. You buy that? Like there’s a single virgin miko out there.”
Minako’s eyes widened and her laugh was music to Rei’s ears. “So then all this time I was being nice and not pushing myself on you for no reason?”
“Not pushing yourself on me?” Rei asked incredulously. “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me to restrain myself?”
It was no accident that Minako’s half lidded eyes only enticed the other woman further; she could almost feel the fire in Rei’s dark eyes ignite. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She stated coyly.
And for a half a second, Rei and Minako stared into each other eyes, and with the recognition that the smoldering fires that reflected there would not be extinguished; they breathlessly leaned into each other. And when the culmination of a lifetime lived a millennia ago and five years spent pining after each other resulted in one, passionate kiss that threatened to consume them both, they surrendered to it.
Pressing Minako gently to the wall, Rei’s fingers danced along the hem of the other woman’s sweater, glided underneath, and traveled along the smooth skin of the other woman’s belly even as Minako desperately began undoing the large buttons on the front of the miko’s wool coat.
Shoes were kicked to the walls of the foyer. Rei’s coat only made it a few feet, but Minako’s sweater held on a little longer. Finally, as Rei pushed and Minako pulled, together, the two women stumbled down the hallway, into the bedroom, and finally, onto the bed where Rei gently pinned the half dressed, slightly smaller woman beneath her weight.
But when Rei’s wandering hand was abruptly stopped by the gentle pressure of Minako’s own around her wrist, the passion drained out of the miko’s kiss as their lips separated and her confused eyes searched the singer’s.
“This isn’t too fast?” Minako asked quietly, unassumingly. “I told you that I don’t want to push you.”
The miko smirked and relaxed. “I wouldn’t think that you’d be one to complain once we finally reached the point of no return.”
The singer smiled mischievously; point of no return indeed. “Oh, I’m not complaining,” she reached up to capture Rei’s lips once more, “not,” she reached up to whisper hoarsely in Rei’s ear, “one,” she arched her back to nip at Rei’s neck with her teeth, “bit.”
And with that, she rolled her body on top of Rei’s and claimed possession.
OOO
When the morning light that streamed freely through the gauzy curtains became too much to bear, Aino Minako woke up slowly, a lazy smile playing on her lips at the sight that greeted her.
Her form was draped over her lover’s. Rei lay sleeping on her back, and although a thin sheet – the only article of bedding left on the bed at all – hid Minako’s view from much below the miko’s tantilizing colarbone, she could feel Reiko’s arms wrapped loosely around her waist and could feel her own legs tangled with those of the slightly taller woman’s.
And it was then that she knew that for all the hours they’d really learned each other last night, she still hadn’t gotten her fill of the other woman. Slowly, as if afraid to break the spell, Minako’s hand reached out to brush away a long bang from Rei’s forehead…
But her hand went flying back in surprise when one of the miko’s dark eyes suddenly shot open.
Rei didn’t know if it was Minako’s flapping hands or the high pitched squeak of shock that was cuter, but chuckling, she held the startled singer to her form.
“That wasn’t very nice.” Minako’s attempt at pouting was reinforced by turning her face away to hide a mischevious smile and rolling away onto her side.
The miko smiled at the challenge and also rolled over, one arm snaking back under the sheet to slide around the singer’s bare waist, and she spooned herself around the other woman possessively. With her other hand, she pushed Minako’s long mane away from her neck to lay a kiss on the sensitive skin. “You know… I’ve never claimed to be a nice person.”
Finding that her tactic had paid in spades, Minako wasn’t about to mess with a good thing and continued her mock pouting. “You’re right. You’re a mean, mean person.”
Rei paused in her attention to Minako’s neck. “Am I?”
Minako found herself holding her breath, waiting to see what her lover would do next…
“Rei!” Minako’s hands shot to her sides where the miko was mercilessly tickling the skin of her ribcage.“I’ll have you know,” she threatened between laughs, “that I’m an expert at this game!”
Rei stopped short and leaned her mouth to the singer’s ear. “I’m immune to this game. I’m not ticklish.”
Minako looked back over her shoulder, catching Rei’s dark eyes. “I know for a fact that isn’t true.”
Their eyes narrowed at each other and the challenge between them ignited into flame. Rivalry; the old standby need for competition, their only excuse at one point in their lives to keep the lines of communication open between them, was now just a source of fun and games.
The singer flipped her body, turning towards the miko faster than the other woman had anticipated, and Minako showed Rei even less mercy than had been shown her. And as choked snorts and repressed laughs echoed around the room, the two lovers fought for dominance in a tickle war until the all pillows and the last remaining sheet had been thrown off the bed, and exhausted, they were both gasping for air.
From her vantage point where her head rested on Rei’s stomach, Minako pointed at the miko’s feet, which were actually pointed at the head of the bed, “Oh my god, what happened to your toe?”
Rei looked up and over her girlfriend’s dark head of hair to look at her bruised appendage and remembered the event all too clearly. “You shut the door on it last night!” She exclaimed lightly.
The singer turned her head towards Rei and smiled apologetically, “I could kiss it and make it better.”
Rei rolled her eyes. “Its quite alright. I deserved it anyway.”
Quiet contemplation followed as both women allowed themselves to dwell on their conversation from the night before, but despite the more subdued topic of conversation, there was no awkwardness or trepidation of treading into what had once been unspoken territory.
“You know,” Minako began, “Usagi-chan’s going to be upset. She really wanted to throw a party for you over the Priestess position.”
Rei snorted. “Yeah? Well, Usagi’s going to have to deal with it.”
“She’s going to have to throw a party for something.”
Idly twisting a lock of Rei’s long, raven hair, Minako paused. The two women caught each other’s eyes in a look of complete understanding. Slowly, one of Rei’s eyebrows raised in a playful arc. “I think I can come up with something she can celebrate.”
A slow smile pulled at Minako’s lips before she surrendered to a kiss that instantly rekindled the memories and emotions of their passionate night before.
‘Somehow, I think I’ll never get tired of this side of her.’
OOO
Author’s Notes:
First of all, I’m really, really on the fence about this chapter. I’ve never been one for ‘confessions of love’. Often times, in writing, they seem contrived and forced. If it hadn’t been for Minako’s absolute need to hear those words in this chapter, Rei may have held off for who knows how long. But… I just felt like it fit here, to my own discomfort, so I hope it worked for you guys, too.
As to a priestess not being able to be reincarnated. I don’t know the validity of this statement. When I was still in the planning stages of this story (god, a year ago!), I did a lot of research on the Shinto faith, trying to glean ideas from as many English sites as I could. I came across that statement once and couldn’t find any other reference to it. I may be totally wrong on this, but I put myself out on a limb and tried it here.
So… yes, there is one more chapter to go, and then IWtBiS will be over.
OOO
And now… Preview of Chapter 14:
“Are you sure you want to go through with telling the others?” Minako’s quiet voice mingled with the drone of the engines. “We could wait, you know.”
As if she’d been forcefully pulled back from another world, Rei blinked. “Huh? Why?”
The singer titled her head. “Because you look like something’s still bothering you.”
The miko faltered; the singer had misread her hesitation; it had nothing to do with revealing their relationship to their friends. It had taken her years, but she’d learned to be comfortable with expressing her concerns to Minako – more so these past few weeks - but even still, getting started was never an easy task. “You were right,” she began, “I can’t stay a miko forever.”
The singer laced her fingers between the other woman’s. “You’re worried about your future, Rei?”
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