Complete
Their icy glares were as cold as the angry winds that tore down the craggy rock walls of the dark side of the moon. Still, Sailor Mars stood protectively in front of the mist enshrouded form of the wounded Venus. She would not allow her counterpart access to the memory that she guarded.
The Martian warrior’s gloved hands tightened into fists. “Why have you returned? You need not access this memory in order to find the answers you so seek.”
Rei frowned at the woman’s vague riddles and circuitous conversation. After spending the majority of her morning in pursuit of this well hidden memory, she was determined that Mars would hold her back no longer. “Because I can remember every memory before this one. I have to know how this one ends. Why do you stop me?”
“You should know that best,” the raven haired woman sneered, “after all, it was you who locked your memories away, leaving yourself to guard it.”
“Me? Why would I do such a thing?
“To protect your reincarnated self; the memories of your relationship with Venus and its disastrous end were hidden away,” Mars’ tone was righteous, but then her dark eyes narrowed, “that is, until you tampered with the lock.”
The miko was unfazed by her counterpart’s venom. “And I’ve regained them all except for this one. I must know why.”
“Would you really pry open something so tightly locked, Princess of Mars?”
For the first time, Rei faltered. “I… I need this memory to be complete. I have to know how this one memory relates to my current self.”
“But was it not you who claimed that the past was irrelevant?”
At the revelation of her contradiction, Rei stood with her mouth ajar. Although her mirror image was calling her a hypocrite, Mars seemed to take some amount of pity on her, and with a slight smirk, she baited Rei, “Only you hold the key to unlock the pain that I have shielded you from all this time.”
“Stop talking in riddles!” Rei’s outburst was more than she’d expected of herself, and it took her last ounce of patience to rein her anger in. Through ground teeth, she asked, “What is this key?”
The standoffish warrior advanced slowly, closing the distance between their nearly identical images. “Do you really need me to tell you what you hold most dear to your heart, Mars Reiko-san?” Her last words were a whisper as her pained eyes implored Rei’s own.
“What I hold most dear…” Rei’s words trailed off distractedly as her mind instantly homed in on one thing, one person.
In her mind’s eye, she saw Minako, just the night before, the two of them curled up and facing each other on the singer’s bed. Arms wrapped around each other, they traded gentle kisses and light touches until they fell asleep in each other’s embrace…
But that wonderful image dissolved all too quickly, and suddenly, she was standing under a black, starless sky beneath the angled roof of a stadium. She was numb, unseeing, unfeeling. She could feel her friends at her back, their question was obvious; where was their leader?
And then, her voice was raw and not her own, and when the flames of Mars ignited her transformation, she briefly wondered if the flames of her fury would eat her alive. She wasn’t so lucky. Instead, she attacked with a ferocity she hadn’t been capable of harnessing ever before, and when their foes had been eliminated, she had felt herself shaking like a leaf as she fell to her knees, crying out her name,
“Mi…na…ko!”
Rei’s eyes widened and to her surprise, Sailor Mars turned a shoulder, granting her the slightest view of the crumpled form of the broken Sailor Venus. Face down on the bloodied ground, her golden hair caked with dust and blood, porcelain skin bruised and bloodied, those wide blue eyes frozen in fear…
Minako… died first…
But before Rei could completely grasp the meaning of her thought, her world spun wildly. The craggy rock walls and the darkness of the sky blended into a swirl, and when she could open her eyes again, she was in another time and place that seemed to precede the memory that Sailor Mars guarded.
After escaping the planet’s gravitational field, the blue orb of the Earth continued to recede. The roar of the afterburners cut off and the pulse engines took over. The stars drifted by lazily, but a wired tension filled the air in the small cabin of the transport shuttle.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
To the untrained ear, the terse voice may have sounded more angry than worried, but Minako knew better. For her lover’s sake, Sailor Venus - disguised as Princess Serenity - shook off the grogginess in her head and granted Mars a half smirk.
“Un. I’m just tired from the debating. Even though my senshi strength aides my disguise, posing as Serenity is exhausting, I’ll have you know. I mean, I yes, it was too risky to send her to Earth, but do you know how hard it is to act as persistently optimistic as Serenity?”
Mars crossed her arms and snorted. “Well you manage to pull off her ‘dumb as a rock’ moments just fine.”
The Martian’s cold demeanor slipped into a slight smile as Venus punched her lightly in the arm. Even though they shared a brief giggle, the long haired warrior could not relax. The three days of intense deliberations hosted on Earth regarding the impending threat of a faceless adversary named Metallia and the appearance of rogue bands of youma that had been threatening the Moon Kingdom had proven not only fruitless as to the how’s, why’s, and even who’s of their adversary, but had been severely taxing on her leader, disguised as the Princess of the Moon Kingdom. And though Mars had stood by her side as her aide through its entirety, she could do nothing but watch worriedly as Venus seemed to fall victim to a debilitating exhaustion.
But mostly, it was the feeling of wrongness that seemed to trail after them the further they got from that blue planet that bothered Mars the most.
A golden glow suddenly filled the cabin with an ethereal light, and Mars realized that Venus was letting her disguise slip. She was caught speechless as the image of Serenity gently faded into the beauty of Minako, her eyes slightly shut, the soft features of her face finally relaxed, but when the golden glow subsided, Mars’ unease spiked.
“Minako!” She shouted, quickly kneeling before her leader’s seat where she was doubled over in pain and clutching her head.
OOO
‘She’s going to leave me.’ Minako mused as she watched the eerily still form of the miko where she concentrated before the sacred flame. ‘She going to remember what I put her through back then and its relation to the future, and she’s going to leave me.’
With high hopes of stealing her best friend for the day, the singer had arrived unannounced some time earlier. But when she’d walked in on Rei deep in meditation and obviously chasing the one memory of her past that Minako had hoped she’d never recover, the singer had been filled with fear.
Sitting on her knees at the back of the fire room, Minako anxiously worried her bottom lip, her hands fidgeting in her lap as she kept watch for the slightest reason to interrupt the miko’s vision. Finally, her fear mounted until she could no longer contain it, and when Rei opened her mouth in a silent scream, the singer had launched herself across the room.
“Rei! Rei!” On the verge of tears, Minako shook the miko’s stiff form, ever conscious of their proximity to the dancing fire.
After several fluttering blinks, Rei’s dark eyes finally opened. And although she was quite pleased to find herself in Minako’s embrace, she was also quite irked to have her vision interrupted by the singer for a second time in as many days.
Dark eyes narrowed as Minako’s emotions slammed into Rei. The miko didn’t need to be psychic to understand how the singer felt.
“You really don’t want me to remember this, do you?”
Rei’s words were neither angry or annoyed, but more a contemplative analysis as she compared Minako’s hesitance to Sailor Mars’ outright refusal. ‘What are they so afraid of?’
“I… I…” Minako’s lower lip quivered ever so slightly.
“Do you really trust me so little?” Upset that Minako would think so little of her, Rei’s words carried a harsher edge than the miko had expected.
It was an edge that so obviously cut her best friend, but it was too late to take it back.
The singer’s teeth clacked shut, her jaw set firmly, and her lips formed a thin, white line. Her caramel eyes dropped to the floor wordlessly. Like a vine falling victim to the winter frost, her hold around Rei loosened before it withered altogether. Slowly, she stood, her hands clenched to her side.
Minako paused for the briefest moment – on the edge of that split second decision between fight or flight…
She chose the latter.
OOO
Not bothering with her hat or shades that served as her disguise, too distraught to even remember to pick up the umbrella she’d brought, Minako had run out into the late winter rain like a petulant teen.
She’d bumbled down the shrine steps, nearly taking several disastrous tumbles, but she managed to keep her feet until she hit the sidewalk. The cars that zoomed by on the wet pavement were deafening to her ringing ears as she ran along the walkway, but still, she ran blindly. Finally, with wide eyes, her vision distorted by the rain and her tears, she ran out of breath in the middle of a soaked and deserted park.
When her adrenaline had finally left her limp, Minako’s teeth chattered and her arms hugged her slim and shaking frame. She was freezing. She was wet. But mostly, she was scared. Scared of what Rei would think when she fully understood how their past had ended… and its correlation to the present.
‘Hypocrite!’ She scolded herself. And it was true. Five years ago, it had been she who had been so concerned about their past. It had been she who had wanted nothing other than for Mars to regain her memories of their time together…
But where Minako had been so attached to the past in hopes that it would reunite she and Rei, now she was worried that it might tear them apart, for Rei wouldn’t like what she’d seen in Venus Minako anymore than she liked what she’d seen from Aino Minako five years ago.
‘I should just leave. Now. Before I hurt her even more. So I don’t have to see the disappointment in her eyes. I’ll go back to London. Paris. New York…’
But then, that small part of Minako, the small flame of rebellion against her martyrdom that Rei had breathed life into five years earlier, spoke up.
‘And let her go after we’ve gotten so close when I could be next to her side, fighting to keep her instead?’
And as Minako the martyr and the Minako of free will fought for dominance, the drenched and frightened woman continued to shake in the rain.
OOO
Although she knew she’d hurt her, Minako’s interruption hadn’t derailed Rei, but had only served to spur her forward. And although it had pained the miko to see the tears in her best friend’s caramel eyes as she ran from her, Rei had quickly found herself standing before Sailor Mars once more, her jaw set and determined to finish this once and for all.
‘At least I never made her cry like that.” Mars scowled, the concealing mists churning behind her form. “Perhaps you should give up now, Princess.”
Rei’s hackles rose at the barb her mirror image threw at her, but she forced her pride to take the blow. Ignoring the comment, she focused on the last memory she was trying to piece together.
“We didn’t know it then, but Metallia had invaded Venus’ mind before we left Earth.”
Dark eyes narrowed and the Martian senshi nodded. “Very intuitive, Princess of Mars.”
“She was trying to protect our Princess by posing as her, but it was that very disguise that lured that… that monster. And she suffered with that evil presence in her mind until… until…”
Sailor Mars crossed her arms with a rightful smirk. “Always the martyr, wouldn’t you say?”
Rei glared at the warrior, vindicated and yet hurt at the same time. She couldn’t deny that Minako’s selfless ways often made her seem the martyr. It was the one thing that had bothered her the most about the Minako of her own time. But it would be too easy to take Mars’ bait, and the miko decided not to play to her childish whims. Arguing the point wouldn’t help her in uncovering the events that linked this hidden memory to her memory of the end of the Silver Millennium. An event she knew all too clearly did not include the role of Venus…
“I’ve had enough.” Rei growled. “Step aside.”
As though she’d been able to sense Rei’s determination, Sailor Mars lifted an eyebrow.
“I said step aside!” Rei’s voice shook the craggy canyon walls, and finally, Sailor Mars took a hesitant step backwards. Indecision flashed through the warrior’s stormy eyes until slowly, the mists that enshrouded the background receded, and then, the Martian senshi disappeared altogether.
A surge of red-orange light and a rush of power through her system told Rei she was Sailor Mars once more, and finally, the form that had been hidden behind her came into view again.
A raspy whimper escaped Mars’ lips.
Face down on the bloodied ground, Venus’ golden hair was caked with dust and blood. Her porcelain skin was bruised and bloodied. Those wide caramel eyes were open and unseeing…
Mars’ body, frozen with fear and anxiety, finally snapped. Bonelessly, she fell to her knees. With shaky limbs, she managed to crawl across the blood soaked rock to her leader. In her heart, she knew what she’d find, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it.
She was too late.
Her warm hands wrapped around the cold skin of Venus’ arms and she flipped her commander onto her back and pulled her into her chest. Mars’ breath hitched in her throat as a shaky hand traced around Venus’ unseeing eyes and the blackened, bruised skin of her cheek.
Like a mantra, the Martian warrior called the name of her past lover over and over, her faltering voice breaking between a scream and a cry. “Minako! Minako! Minako!”
She sensed them before she felt them at her back; strong arms pulling her away, supporting voices calling her name. The similarities to Minako’s end in her current life were blinding as her friends; Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, and Sailor Jupiter crowded her, as shocked and appalled at the sight of their dead leader, but also wholly concerned for Mars’ well being.
She threw off Serenity once, in a blind need to return to Venus’ side. Mars’ arms tightened around Venus’ torso, her head dropped to her lovers’ chest. It was only Jupiter’s gentle, but insistent strength that managed to pull her away from their leader’s cold body.
With her comrades surrounding her, it was only the Rei inside the Sailor Mars that was reliving this terrible memory who barely noticed that even as her own voice screamed Minako’s name one last time, Sailor Moon, who had staggered off to the side, fell to her knees and clutched her head.
OOO
The door to the fire room slid open, nearly bouncing off its hinges as the rain soaked singer bolted into the room just in time to catch the miko who had pitched forward out of exhaustion. Minako was across the room before Rei could hit the ground, gathering the other woman in her arms and pulling her towards her shaking frame.
Slowly, the miko’s eyes fluttered open, and when her dark orbs recognized the only person she had wanted to see, a slight, pained smile tugged at her hesitant lips.
“Twice.” Rei’s voice was hoarse as though she’d been screaming for far too long and Minako found herself nervously threading her fingers through her best friend’s bangs.
“Twice what?” She gently prodded, though she was afraid of the answer.
The miko’s dark eyes squinted, as though she were still trying to comprehend the situation. “You left me… back then, too.”
Minako frowned a moment until she realized that Rei had meant that she had died back then, but it was that intimate wording the miko used that brought tears to the singer’s eyes. Minako was speechless, she was afraid, but she was also touched. Still, ashamed, Minako turned her head sharply away. Her brow creased and her lower lip trembled, and it didn’t stop even when Rei’s steadying hand cupped her chin and made her look at her once more.
“Back then, I had sensed something… but I didn’t know. I didn’t know it was Metallia.“
The haunted look in Rei’s eyes told Minako that Reiko, and even Rei herself, had felt guilt for Venus Minako’s death, that perhaps given her psychic powers, she should have been able to stop the inevitable. Slowly, her hand traveled along Rei’s own where it gently cupped her face, and leaning into that hand, the singer found strength.
“It was my fault, Rei,” Minako’s confession was a pained whisper, “none of us knew it was Metallia. And even once I understood something was irreversibly wrong, I still brushed off your concern. I wouldn’t let you worry about me because somehow, I knew it was too late. Even though I wanted to believe that I could have managed it, I could have defeated the darkness inside me. But I failed.”
“Minako…” Rei’s voice trailed off as the singer’s tears coursed over her hand on her cheek, so hot over her chilled skin.
“And through Serenity,” Minako continued, “Metallia wiped out all life in a blink of an eye. It was my fault, and in an essence, I was the only one to really witness it.”
Rei frowned, “but you were dead.”
Minako’s eyes darted to the floor. “My soul… lingered.”
The singer could feel the miko’s dark eyes on her, could feel the intensity of emotion she exuded, and she found the courage to look at her once more, even as her tears ran anew. “I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t ready to leave… you. I had to make sure I knew you were okay. But all I could do was watch as the product of my mistake killed not only you, but everyone else that I loved. Perhaps it was what drove me to be such a harsh leader this time around. I wanted to make sure I didn’t make the same mistake a second time.”
The miko frowned, her dark eyes hardened, and suddenly, Rei understood everything. From Minako’s heightened sense of martyrdom to the reason behind nearly every single one of her leader’s actions that had infuriated her five years ago.
And then, Rei accepted it.
“Pull yourself together.” She demanded of her best friend harshly.
When Minako’s tears ground to a halt with a sniffle and a confused expression, Rei continued. “You did what you thought was best as our leader. Don’t you dare regret your actions now. It’s that very attitude that saved our asses time again, in this life and the last. It’s what we all expected of you,” the miko paused to smirk at Minako, “even if it is irritating sometimes.”
Minako’s caramel eyes could only stare at Rei with wonder. That she could forgive such a fatal flaw in her character when she’d expected the miko to thoroughly shun her… it was too much for her to hope for. A small, tentative smile cracked her frown, and when Rei met her with the most honest of understanding smiles, a full fledged grin devolved into a chuckling laugh as Minako pulled her best friend closer to her, burying her head in Rei’s collarbone.
The two women comforted each other; half laughing, half crying, and in the process, they washed away the invisible wounds left from battles that dated back more than a millennium, until finally, they ran out of tears and chuckles.
“Ne,” Rei finally asked tentatively, her voice almost hoarse from entirely too much use, “do you think that Metallia’s influence on your previous life contributed to your illness five years ago?”
The miko managed to absorb Minako’s unconscious shiver. “I’ve suspected as much.” The singer admitted.
“I’m sorry,”
“No,” Minako said firmly, “I’m… sorry. I didn’t want you to have to re-live that. Any of it.”
The dark haired woman caressed Minako’s cheek. “But I did.” She said softly, “And you came back, didn’t you? And I’m still here.”
Rei knew Minako was apt to overreacting - as demonstrated by her avoiding a discussion about the memory Rei was trying to trace and subsequently running away - but at the same time, the miko knew how hard it must have been for the singer to return. Sailor Mars was right; Minako could play the martyr, but that’s not to say that deep down inside, Minako wasn’t just like her – a scared and fragile woman who didn’t want to get hurt. Blank expressions examined each other until Minako finally nodded with a slight smile, which Rei returned.
“Everything’s going to be okay, right?” Despite her excitement and happiness at what had just occurred, Minako was surprised to find a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
Rei’s smile faded slightly. “You tell me,” she said critically as she examined Minako’s unsure expression, “because something’s still bothering you.”
Minako cursed her transparency. How could she let her vulnerabilities be detected when they’d just made such progress? She didn’t like the turn their conversation had taken; from candy-land happy endings that wrapped up their past life to the fact that she still felt that something was missing from their relationship in this one.
And she owed Rei an explanation. “Maybe it’s just strange the way we’re talking things out and telling each other our feelings. We’ve never done that. You’re like me, you make your decisions internally and keep things inside until you can’t take it anymore.”
Rei had also sensed the dark turn of their conversation and tried not to be too confrontational, sensing she was wandering into touchy territory but not really understanding why. “Well, maybe I’ve already made my decisions.” She said, and it was true, but now she was achingly aware that she hadn’t even talked about any of them to Minako. And maybe she should have, but was now the right time?
“Perhaps we know each other too well.” She said offhandedly.
“Do we?” Minako asked, her frown an apparent disapproval of her best friend’s last comment. “Then why don’t I know what you’re going to do next?”
Rei was at a loss, and in the disapproving eyes of Minako, she felt a churning mixture of warring emotions. With no amount of uncertainty, Rei knew just how deep her feelings for Minako ran; just how very much Minako was a part of her. And looking at the woman who embraced her, how could Rei feel anything but complete?
But what was complete? Was it that four-letter word? A word used entirely too often that had lost its meaning? A word that the miko had feared that she didn’t even have the capacity for feeling? That was what Minako wanted, wasn’t it? Rei was sure of it. But was that what she felt?
She could use that word; right here, right now, and quell the fears she knew Minako harbored.
But would she be telling the truth?
For as much progress as they’d made together, there was still so much left unsaid, not just about their feelings for one another, but about their lives in general. When could one use that four letter word and be sure that they meant it?
Rei was scared. And she didn’t want to admit it. And she knew she was waiting entirely too long to answer Minako. So she did the only thing she knew how. She closed her eyes, leaned forward, and concentrated on putting every last ounce of herself into one perfect kiss that she pressed to Minako’s lips.
And it was enough.
The singer closed her eyes and surrendered to Rei’s kiss. She submitted to her emotions. And in those emotions, Minako believed she found what she was looking for, and in return, the doubt she had felt was gently washed away.
But when they broke for air, the moment was ruined. Rei’s gentle smile slipped and a frown turned at the corners of her mouth. “You’re all wet!” She exclaimed.
Minako’s brow creased. “You mean you only just noticed?
“Bleh!” The miko exclaimed as she realized she, herself was rather cold and damp thanks to the runaway singer.
Minako’s laughter was music to Rei’s ears as her best friend pulled her closer the harder she mockingly struggled.
OOO
Author’s notes:
What’s that you say? Not quite the happy ending you were looking for? That’s because it’s not over yet. I’d guess that I gave you enough here to see that Rei and Minako still have one or two major hurdles to jump over together.
So, I kinda have to apologize. I feel the build up for Venus’ end in the Silver Millennium may have been a little overrated. She died by sacrificing herself to Metallia and by not telling anyone, in a way she caused Serenity to succumb to the darkness. It was bad, yes, but it was really just the fact that it was the mirror image of her future self’s death that hurt Rei so bad. You know, the whole martyrdom thing when she had a perfectly willing and able Rei by her side each time to help her? Yeah, that.
Also, for those of you who were expecting more trouble than what I gave our two main characters, I have to say, I don’t play the make up/break up game very well. I kind of wish I did, to make disagreements more dramatic, but I just feel like it wouldn’t have worked real well here.
OOO
Chapter 12 Preview:
The Hikawa Shrine had been everything to Rei after her mother had died and her father had abandoned her, and she had served its cause as a loyal miko up until the last four years. It had been the shrine’s proprietor’s greatest wish to see her serve as its Priestess, but he had still been happy for her to find that the Kyoto-Yama Shrine had recruited her first. She only hoped that she would have some time to breathe and meditate before she had to give her final answer to the Kyoto-Yama Shrine.
“Rei-sama?”
The miko stopped, closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Somehow she knew, she wouldn’t be so lucky. “Yes, Yuki-chan?”
“You have a phone call in the office.”
The miko nodded. Reluctantly, she changed direction, stepped into the small office, and slid the screen door shut behind her. She picked up the phone and set it to her ear, hoping the cool plastic would ease her sweating temple.
“Hino Rei desu.”
“Rei-san, we need your answer.”
”My answer…”
OOO
Usagi folded her hands and leaned across the table, peaking the singer’s interest immediately.
“Ne, Minako-chan? I know Rei-chan’s not really telling anyone about it yet, but you’ve got to have some information…”
a scandalous smile on her face, Minako raised an eyebrow and tilted her head, interested to find out how her subtle as a train wreck friend would ask the question she’d been inevitably waiting for,
“has Rei accepted the Priestess position yet?”
“The… what?”
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