Part of an Unbalanced Breakfast

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by MadPanda

Minako couldn't sleep.  She anticipated the coming day as if it were 
Christmas and her birthday together.  Refusing to stay in bed any 
longer, she quickly got dressed and ran to the window, hoping to see the 
delivery truck.  Sure enough, said truck was just pulling up to the curb 
in front of her apartment building, and the deliveryman stepped out 
holding what Minako waited for.  "Yes!" She whispered, pumping her fist 
into the air.  She looked over to make sure she had not awakened Rei, 
then ran down to retrieve her package. 

In a couple of minutes, a beaming Minako re-entered the apartment and 
put the box on the living room table.  Her smile got even wider when she 
opened the box and saw what was inside.  She then went into the kitchen, 
took two bowls down from the cupboard, took a container of milk from the 
refrigerator, and carried her load into the living room.  Minako took 
out the contents of the box--a smaller box wrapped in brown paper, and a 
DVD--and placed them in the center of the living room table.  She then 
put the bowls on either side of the table, and put the milk next to the 
brown box.......  With everything neatly in place, she went to get the 
final piece of the puzzle: Rei.

"Nnnn...", Rei groaned in her sleep  "Leeme aloooone..."

"Rei-chan," Minako sang.  "Time to get up!"

"Come on, Mina-chan...I'm tired."  Rei let out a yawn for emphasis.  "I 
mean, after last night, I need to get some energy back."

Minako thought about their romps from the previous night for a moment, 
grinned, then shook her head as she had a different kind of appetite 
that needed satisfying right now.  "No, no...it's nothing like 
that--this time--I have something I have to show you!"

"It can't wait until after breakfast?"

"Nope, 'cause it IS breakfast!  Let's go!!"  Minako bounced off the bed 
and skipped into the living room.

"Oh, this had better be good, or she'll be toast!"  Rei stopped for a 
moment, chided herself for the bad pun, and then grabbed a robe and 
followed her lover out of the bedroom.

The head start was all Minako needed.  By the time Rei had entered the 
living room, Minako had transformed herself into Sailor V.  She stood 
proudly across from the sofa and waited for Rei to make her entrance.

"O-kaaaaay..." Rei drawled.  "What's going on?  Why are you dressed that 
way?  And why aren't we eating in the kitchen?  I already told you, 
Mina-chan, I'm too tired for--"

"All in good time, Rei-chan!" Minako interrupted.  "I've got just the 
thing for you...now be patient and have a seat."  She led the 
raven-haired beauty over to the sofa and sat her down.  Then she picked 
up the DVD and put it into the player.

"Breakfast and a movie?  I'm tired, and now I'm hungry."  Rei was losing 
her patience with the blonde heroine, but she continued to keep it in 
check.  "Can't we just eat already?"

"We will," Minako ran over to Rei, gave her a quick kiss, and hit the 
'play' button.  "Right after this!"

----

"Ah!  A busload of happy children on their way to school!" The narrator 
started, "But what's this?" The scene panned quickly to the right to 
show a dark figure lurking around a corner.  "Oh no!  It's the evil 
Nephrite!"

"Yes!  Yes!!  Come closer, and let me steal all of your precious 
energy!!  Ha!!"  He threw out his arms, and waves of dark energy 
surrounded the school bus, draining the life energy from the shrieking 
kids.  "Oh no!", they cried.  "Help us!  Help!"

"Ha ha ha!!  Cry all you want!  Soon all their energy will be mine!  
Mine!  Haaa-hahaha!"  The evil villain's cackling laughter was 
interrupted by an unseen voice.

"Hold it right there!"

"Hahaha--what the-?" Nephrite stopped mid-cackle to see who had dared to 
interfere.

A heroic young woman stood atop a nearby supermarket, the sun at her 
back, painting her in silhouette.  "Young children need energy to grow 
and play and learn.  Stealing their energy will keep them from being 
strong.  For that, I cannot forgive you!"

"Look!" one of the kids cheered weakly, "it's Sailor V!"

"Take that!"  Sailor V yelled, throwing two small orange crescent moons 
at Nephrite, knocking him to the ground while jumping off the building 
to the street below.  "Don't worry kids, I've brought something to make 
you strong again!"  Seeming out of nowhere, she pulled out a brightly 
glowing box with a picture of her plastered on the front, flashing her 
trademark "V" with one hand, and holing a huge bowl of brightly colored 
cereal in the other..

"Wow!  It's Sailor V Cereal!", one of the kids cried happily!

"That's right, kids," the narrator cut in.  "Sailor V Cereal!  It's 
packed with energy!  Orange crescents!  Strawberry masks!  Raspberry 
bows!  Marshmallow V's!  It's a powerful part of a balanced breakfast!"

"Here you go, kids!  Eat up!"  The children ate the cereal straight from 
the box, as the theme song played in the background:

"Sai-lor V's!
Giving you the power that you need!
Sai-lor V's!
Wholesome goodness, full of energy!
It's healthy and nu-tri-tious,
And yes, it so de-li-cious!
Go get your Sai-lor V's!"

Soon the children were all glowing, almost ablaze with energy!  "Let's 
get him!"  One of the kids led the charge, and soon Nephrite was swarmed 
by a pack of rampaging kids/

"You'll pay for this, Sailor V!  You'll pay!"  Nephrite's last words 
faded as he was dragged into the horizon by the savage crowd.

Sailor V checked her watch.  "And they'll still make it to school on 
time!  Thanks to Sailor V Cereal!  Hahahahaha!!!"  She held up another 
glowing box for the camera and gave a smile and a wink.

-----

"So, Rei-chan, what'd ya think?  Rei-chan?"  Minako turned her head to 
see her lover frozen in shock, her mouth so wide open bats could've 
mistaken it for a cave. "Wow!  You're speechless!"

"Riiiiiiiiight," Rei drawled.  "So you now have your own cereal to go 
along with everything else?  You do know that soon we're gonna start 
calling you Sailor Vanity, right?"

"Hey, it's all for the cause!" Minako's spirit wasn't dampened in the 
least.  "Remember, the more high-profile I am, the less attention Usagi 
gets!  Isn't that part of the plant?"

Rei let the malaprop go.  "I guess you're right, but still..."  She was 
interrupted by a loud growling in her stomach, reminding her what she 
was supposed to be doing in the first place.  She turned her attention 
over to the paper-wrapped box sitting on the living room table.  "I'm 
afraid to ask, but we're not actually going to eat...that...are we?"

"Of course we are!"  Minako tore the paper cover off the box and 
revealed the same package that she was holding in the commercial

"Ummm....Mina-chan...is it really supposed to glow like that?"

"Sure," Minako said proudly, "it's packed with energy!!"  She tore open 
the box and poured the cereal into the two bowls.  They both glowed in a 
beautiful yet disturbing array of colors.  "And now for the best part!"  
Minako added the milk, and the bowl sparked and crackled, overflowing 
with pure energy.  At one point, a large arc of energy connected the 
bowls.

Rei edged back into the sofa, fearing the breakfast kaleidoscope would 
explode.  "Y-y-you actually want us to EAT this??  Is it even safe??  
Maybe I should call Ami-chan down here and get her to analyze it--"

"You'll do no such thing!" Minako shouted, then she sidled up to Rei and 
gave her the biggest puppy-dog-eyes she could manage.  "Please 
Rei-chan......do it for me!"

Rei was very wary of eating the dynamic breakfast food, but she couldn't 
resist Minako's pleading.  "Fine, I'll try it.  But if I die, I'm gonna 
haunt you for all eternity...or come back as your worst arch-enemy!"

Minako cheered and then grabbed one of the bowls, took a spoonful of the 
cereal and carefully fed it to a still-hesitant Rei.  "Come on, open 
up!" she sang cutely, "Let the choo-choo in the tunnel!"

Rei allowed the cereal access to her mouth, and she started to chew on 
it....  "Hey, this isn't bad!  It's actually quite good!  Sweet and 
crunchy and....oh shi--!!"  Suddenly Rei felt as if she stuck her tongue 
in a power outlet, as every nerve in her body tingled.  Her long 
purple-black hair stood on end, and her eyes flew open, emitting a fiery 
red glow  That same glow soon enveloped her entire body, as she was 
infused with a massive amount of energy.  All she knew was she had to 
get rid of it before the apartment building became a steaming pile of 
rubble.  With no villains to fight, she chose an alternate method 
to...release her energy.

"Minako...bedroom...NOW!!!"

Minako grinned widely as she scooped up the two bowls and ran into the 
bedroom.  "I think we're gonna be needing these...I hope no big crisis 
arises in the next six or seven hours!"

-------------

Six hours, one container of milk and a box of cereal later, the two 
women lay spent on their rumpled bed.  "That stuff is...awesome..." Rei 
said, trying to catch her breath.  "What the heck is in that, anyway?"

"Trade secret."  Minako's head rested on Rei's belly, her long golden 
hair splayed out all over her lover and the bed.  "If I told ya, I'd 
have to chill ya!"

"That's...nevermind, I'm too tired!" Rei then shot up, throwing the 
blonde off of her.  "Oh no!  This isn't going to be put on the open 
market, is it?"

Minako scrambled off of the floor.  "Of course, silly!  In fact, it was 
shipped out this morning...what's wrong?"

"What if...what if Usagi gets a hold of this?  What do you think 
would--" Rei's thought was cut short by her phone ringing. "Oh Kami, 
this can't be good!" Rei picked up the receiver, only to hear a babbling 
Usagi on the other end.  "Usagi-chan, calm down!  I can't understand 
you.  Just take a deep breath and tell me what happened."

"I-I...I think I killed Mamo-chan!!"

END

------------------------------------

A/N:  I had a great time writing this one.  Minako is always a fun 
character to play with, regardless of the pairing...she so crazy!

The idea for this came directly from the cereal aisle in my local 
supermarket.  After seeing tons of superheroes and cartoon characters on 
the boxes, I wondered, "What if the Senshi had their own cereal?"  
Sailor V was the natural choice...I saw a box of "Sailor V Cereal" in my 
head, and laughed myself silly.  (Doesn't take much for me!).

BTW: For those who didn't catch it, the cereal's theme song is based on 
the chorus of "C'est La Vie" from the live-action Pretty Guardian Sailor 
Moon.  Its bouncy rhythm fit perfectly wih the commercial!  :-)

Well, that's all for now.  Thanks for reading!  Reviews, flames, and 
food can be sent to my email address.  Ignore the signs: please DO 
feed the Panda!

Until next time..."So long, and thanks for all the fish!"

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