next evening; hotel pool Makoto people watched as she toweled the droplets of water off her body and hair. Her eyes scanned everyone, from the poolside waiters using all their charm on the rich patronage, to the teenage boys trying to get the girls to notice them and the girl pretending not notice. Everything, yet what interested her most were the children. She loved watching them, they looked so happy, as if their only care in the world is to have fun. Which it most likely was. Those early years were the best in her life. Her parents were still around to take care of her, there were no worries about money or whether or not someone would believe her lie about her parents whereabouts. All she had to do was have fun, and leave everything to them. It saddened her heart to realize that she has been married fifteen years and still had no children to safeguard that freedom and security for. Makoto sighed ‘15 years of marriage and no kids.' A familiar sense of depression overcame Makoto as she told herself that wouldn't have happened if she had been around more. As far as she was concerned it was another example of her being a failed wife. Her husband wouldn't have needed other women, and they would have had children by now if she had been a more dutiful and devoted partner. One who put her husband and family first. Makoto threw her head back on the pool chair ‘I wanted a family and this is what I make of the chance. I'm such a creep.' "Mako!! Come here." Makoto's head snapped up in the direction of the unfamiliar female voice. She relaxed as she saw that the woman wasn't talking to her, but was calling a child from the pool. She watched as a little chocolate skinned girl with midnight black hair, probably about age 5 or 6, expertly swam to the edge of the pool and energetically climb out running to the woman. "Come along child," the woman said wrapping a towel around the girl "your mother expects you to dinner we mustn't keep her waiting." The girl gave the woman a questioning look as if she didn't understand, and only got a shove in the direction of the hotel entrance for her trouble. "Damn halfbreed, if your mother wanted to bring you back to Japan she should have at least taught you some Japanese," the woman jeered as she shoved little Mako forward again. This time the little girl turned around and screamed "stop shoving me," in English. Just as quick as she turned around, the girl dashed ahead into the hotel. The woman just huffed and muttered curses to the little girl and her mother. ------------------------------------------------------------ Makoto watched as the woman ran after the child. She would've laughed at the situation if she wasn't upset about that nanny. ‘She shouldn't be saying things like that right in front of the kid,' but then she remembered the woman's words, and the child's confusion in the beginning, and amended "even if she can't understand." "where's that damn pool boy?" Makoto was a brought back to her own situation by Koan's snap. "I ordered my drink five minutes ago." She was tired of sitting at the pool, so she offered to get his drink. "I'll be back before you know it" she said jokingly as she left to get it. On the way there, however, she ran into the pool boy bringing Koan's drink, and decided to just get her own and return to her room. Sipping her drink at the bar, Makoto almost choked at the sigh in the mirror behind it. Again, there was the woman she had seen the morning of yesterday. And again, she couldn't see all of the woman's face, only this time more of her profile was visible to Makoto. The woman was surrounded by three men in dark suits, while she wore one of blue, shades lighter than her shoulder length hair. The foursome seemed to be occupied in a heavy conversation Makoto wasn't about to interrupt, even if she wanted to. Staring at the woman in the mirror, Makoto sipped her wine as her mind slipped back eighteen years. ------------------------------------------------------------ "Mako," Ami pleaded "we don't have to do this." Tears were already soaking Ami's face, she couldn't believe what Makoto wanted. "Yes, we do Ami," Makoto answered as she struggled with herself to keep her back to Ami. The last thing Makoto wanted to see was Ami crying, and knowing she was the cause would more than quadruple the hurt and pain she already felt. "A lot of people have long distance relationships," Ami tried to keep her sobbing under control "why can't we?" "It's just best this way," Makoto's voice was tight, she was fed up explaining the same things to Ami. This would be the last night she'd do it. Ami was to leave for Harvard tomorrow morning. "What if I stayed?" Makoto had to turn around. Did Ami know how ridiculous that suggestion was? "You can't stay," Makoto bit out "you've worked for this all your life." She couldn't believe Ami was suggesting this "you can't pass up this chance Ami." Ami was desperate, this was the love of her young life standing in front of her, without a doubt her soul-mate. She couldn't just let it end like this. "There are excellent colleges in Japan, and wonderful medical schools I could go to anyone of them...." Makoto's heart was singing it was what she had hoped Ami would decide to do when she had first started to send out applications. However, months of hearing Ami get excited about going to University , and listening to her plans for what she'd do when finally became a doctor, Makoto knew she couldn't stand in the way of that. Ami had to go. She closed her eyes as she realized Ami was going to make this harder than it had to be. Makoto was going to have to go to plan HELL. Opening her eyes she gave Ami the most loathing look she could muster. It must have worked because Ami froze, even her tears appeared to have stalled. Makoto was in agony when she opened her mouth and let the frosty words through, "Ami just go, there is no reason for you to stay." Makoto systematically raised her tone and increased the menace in her voice to make her caustic words believable. "Don't you get it? I don't want a long distance relationship, and I don't want you to stay. You're such a smart girl I'm surprised you can't see the obvious." She paused to take a giant gulp of air before continuing. "I don't want to be with you anymore, so just get on that plane tomorrow and stay outta my life." The devastated look on Ami's whole countenance was too much to bear, Makoto had to get out of there. With one last look at Ami, her penance for the deed she just did, Makoto turned around, and within character stormed out of Ami's house. ------------------------------------------------------------ Makoto called for a martini as she remembered the look on Ami's face that night. The devastation, the hurt, the feelings of rejection, the betrayal, the love. Yeah love, it was still there. The love Makoto saw there amongst the tumult was what made her hate herself. What made her cry herself to sleep in those early days. The knowledge that she caused the love of her life so much pain was hard to live with. Knowing that Ami still loved her despite it all was torture. ‘How deep Ami's love must have been that she'd still love me after I said that to her,' it was Makoto's constant thought. Though after a few months of Ami being away and not receiving a phone call or letter, Makoto's thoughts began to take on a different subject matter. She knew she didn't deserve either, but was living on a speck of hope that she would receive something, even a kiss off letter. Makoto figured the communication blackout /was/ her kiss off letter. It was only with that realization that Makoto got back to normal. If you call suppressing all memory of, and feelings for, your ex-girlfriend, normal. Makoto finished her drink and left the bar. Surprised that in this huge hotel she was the only one waiting for the elevator, but it startled the sense out of her when a hand slide between the doors. The motion sensor picked it up and opened fully to let on another passenger. Makoto's eyes widened as they recognized they were finally seeing the front of the woman they had only ever recently seen in profile. There was no more air in the world as far as Makoto's lungs were concerned. She had to lean against the back of the elevator for support as she regain composure. All the while her eyes never left the other passenger. ------------------------------------------------------------ "You look like you need a doctor Mako," Ami smiled as she came closer and placed a hand to Makoto's forehead. "You're really warm," she chuckled as she took it away and looked over Makoto's face "I'm positive it has something to do with your blush." Makoto couldn't believe her ears. ‘AMI!!!!!, no way.' "Your beet red Mako," the elevator stopped on the sixth floor and Ami tuned to leave, but not without sending a few words over her shoulder "I wonder why?" Makoto stared at her reflection in the mirrored doors, she couldn't believe it. She was blushing, and panting hard. ‘How could she affect me that way? I acted like a total idiot. I'm a grown woman for Kami sake' Makoto seethed with chagrin as the elevator opened to her own floor.
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