Summer Breeze
Her hands felt like the warm summer breeze on my cheeks. "You cant
love me." She said it like a rule; a law. Somewhere, it had been written that I
would not, could not feel this emotion that ran deep inside my veins alongside my
blood.
"I do!" I wanted to shout at her, but it came out as only a whisper. I was
so afraid, yet so contented just to be with her. "I love you"...
"But you cant!" She was able to shout out me. She pulled me closer to
her face, her sweet breath like dark purple irises on my lips. "Youre... you are
everything I can not be. Youre...so pure...so utterly pure." She closed her eyes
and bent her head, as if to avoid staring back into mine. "I can never be what
you deserve."
My heart felt like it would sink down in my chest or rise above it at any
moment. Couldnt she see? Couldnt she open her eyes and her heart? "I dont
know what I deserve"but youre what I want. Youre everything I could ever
want and youre what I need." She was shaking, her hands were shaking on my
cheeks. The breeze was faltering. "Hotaru-chan, please," I touched her chin
gently.
She looked up at me once again, tears trickling down her pale cheeks in
small rivers of diamond tears. "Oh Chibi-Usa," her lips shook out the words.
"How could you want me?" I wiped the tears gently from her cheeks. "Im...the
darkness"and youre the light. You are life and I am death." She looked down
at her knees again. "How could you love me?"
"Youre wrong, Hotaru-chan!" I could feel my heart rising higher, into my
breasts and hands and feet, spreading inside of me. "You may be death, but you
are also rebirth. You begin life, starting anew in a cycle that I have yet to
understand." I leaned close into her face, wanting to feel her iris breath again.
"You are everything I could ever want, Hotaru-chan. You are beauty in the
darkness. You are my light." Her lips were so close to mine. "How could I not
want you?"
Her face flushed, pale cheeks that never seemed to tan turning a light
crimson. "Dont say that, please dont say that
"
And, suddenly, it didnt seem to matter to her what she had shouted
before. When I leaned in just enough to feel her soft, full lips upon mine
well,
that was the end of everything and the beginning of something completely new. I
could feel her hands at the base of my neck, tugging at the ends of my hair. I
couldnt stop myself from touching her pale arms, letting my hands meander up
to her shoulders and down her back. She was so warm, so soft, like sheets of
silk left out in the sun. I felt her lips pull away slightly from mine, and I moved
away a bit, just enough to end the kiss but still to feel her warmth. She sighed
heavily onto my cheek and rested her head on my shoulder.
"Chibi-Usa," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "We cant be
together like this."
"What do you mean?" I nuzzled my head on top of hers, catching the
scent of her hair. Lilacs. I smiled.
"We cant be
be lovers." She moved slightly, her voice slightly softer.
"Youre to become Princess of Crystal Tokyo in the future. You are going to
inherit a crown. You cant
be with me
"
"Hotaru-chan." I felt that warm, rose colored feeling rise in my chest once
again. Sparks could fly off of my fingertips. Mountains would crumple at my very
whim
or at hers. I could do anything with this feeling. I could do anything with
her. "I want you, I need you. I love you. All that I ask of you is that you give me
a chance, you give us a chance." She sobbed lightly into the curve of my neck.
"Please, Hotaru-chan
the future isnt unchangeable. Just me coming to the
past all these times has changed it."
"But
"
"Hush, Hotaru-chan." I cradled her head close to mine. I smiled slightly.
"Normally, Im the one crying to you." We both chuckled a bit. "Hotaru-chan, I
just want you to
to let me love you. Just for awhile."
"But dont you see? Cant you see that if I let you then "
"Then what?"
She paused, moving away from me and wiping her tears. "Chibi-
Usa
this cant work."
"No, what would happen?"
"Dont you see, it cant work, because "
"No, dont ignore me." I pulled her closer once again. "What would
happen if you and I became a couple?"
She was quiet, just staring back into my eyes and quivering a bit in my
arms. She didnt even seem to breathe. Her lovely, thin frame rest so close to
mine on the floor of her dimly lit room. Pale hands and feet seemed even paler
in comparison to her dark clothes. My little black angel. "I cant tell you
not
now
"
"What is it, Hotaru-chan?" I pulled her onto my knees. "Ive told you a
secret Ive kept from you for awhile now. Why cant you tell me?"
She swallowed audibly. "Ive loved you for as long as I can remember.
Since I first met you, Chibi-Usa. And if we are together, and I let myself love
you
itll just be like everyone else. I dont want you to leave
to go away like
everyone Ive loved
"
"I could never go away from you." I couldnt feel anything for a minute. It
was like my heart stopped beating in my chest. My veins continued only to pump
the crimson feeling of love I felt for her. And then, whenever my heart decided to
start up again, I was kissing her. It was with a kind of fierceness that she kissed
me back. Her small caresses and fierce kisses and explorations made me weak
in my knees.
The silver and golden rays of sunlight drifted into Hotarus room. I just lay
there for awhile, surrounded by her sweet scent and wrapped in her arms. The
shadows of tree leaves left dark spots across her blanket and bare midriff. I
couldnt help but stare at her. God, she was beautiful. Lying there like that. Her
hair a bit messed up, strands sprawled out behind her head on her pillow. Her
eyes were closed, but I knew them with just a memory. Dark purple, almost
black, deep as any ocean but clear as a sunny sky. How could one human being
be so perfect, so utterly beautiful in every way? How could someone like her
love someone like me?
I kissed her shoulders, just for the feeling of her silken skin on my lips.
There was nothing more I wanted in the world than to be there with her, lying in
her comfortable bed, bathed in the strong light of the sun or the pale, comforting
light of the moon. There was no other place that could soothe me like this. Her
arms were my only shelter, her lips my only release.
She stirred a bit, her muscles moving slightly underneath my lips and
hands. I rested my head by her breast, loving the sound of her heart beating
beneath my ears. Her breathing relaxed me
deep and smooth and soft all at
once. I closed my eyes, just loving the feel of her beside me, underneath me, all
around me.
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