There are days when those gray skies make you blue. Each forward step you take, ya fall back by two. You've been hit by some hard knocks, you just can't stand. Feeling like Alice felt in Wonderland. Let me be the one to lend a hand Call my name and I'll be there. There's nothing like the laughter we share. Whenever you need someone or a shoulder to lean on, call my name and I'll be there. (Call my name) Rei's POV Hino Rei...I am the reincarnate of sailor mars, protector and loyal friend to princess Serenity. However that surface is a lie; I am nothing but a cheap replacement for a dead soldier who was more than I'll ever be and who will soon return. Her memories are returning. I'm changing...disappearing slowly, losing myself. Sincerely it frightens me. Hino Rei...That is who I am and who I am not. I closed my eyes, falling backwards into the nothingness. The wind beat my back and threw my hair upwards, gravity pulled a few of my raven strands back onto my face. I waited and then it came. The sound of a bell pinged gently. Ping. When I had opened my eyes I was in a grove, standing amidst isles of sakura trees in full bloom with my miko outfit on. No words could have described the strangeness of familiarity that the topography provided so I said nothing. Flashback Mina and I were sitting outside of the school, eating our lunch at a small picnic table. A bug had fell from the tree above us into my sandwich. When I was about to let loose the swears Mina slapped her hand over my mouth and lectured me. "Curses are a waste of breath, all you'll do is exhaust yourself." She was grinning. With her other hand she wagged her index finger in front of my glaring expression. She'd better watch it, unlike her I can bite if aggravated. Her air of superiority didn't last long though; the bug in my sandwich became bored of mine and flew into hers. She went into a rant in her native language, English. I wonder where she learned all those 'interesting' words. Flashback end The memory brought a smirk to my face, she had always been there to cheer me up... even if she was a little hypocrite. A flurry of soft, rose colored pedals fell into my face and through my hair. The sensation was enough to smack my mind a reality check. Slowly I took deep breaths and opened my eyes, refocusing to the task at hand. My feet took tiny baby steps on the spot, flirting with directing while I pondered the path to tread. After a moment my mouth curled downwards into a thoughtful frown. It all looked the same to me. Finally I moved to the right. The lush, green grass bent under my foot's power without a fight and I felt somehow disappointed. Perhaps it was from my counter ego's nature that was rising to the surface again. Sailor Mars was the goddess of war and passion after all. Carefully I made to take another advance forward only to stop upon hearing someone giggling. "Aww, you don't say Rei chan." My stomach did a flip-flop at the voice. It sounded like Mina but where...? I was over here but I don't see her anywhere. A wind blew up and instinctively my arms rose to shield myself. Sakura pedals danced all round my defensive form, the wind lead them around with an invisible leash. When I had opened my eyes there was a small but noticeable path carved in the overgrown grass. So this was where I was supposed to go, to go where I am told I'm no better than those chained tied petals am I? It seemed fate had similar binds to me...My eyes stung from the on coming salty tears...even here, away from my own world I could not choose my own path... I choked down a sob, brushing away the signs of weakness with my hands. Soon anger replaced the depression and a whimper transformed into a defiant growl. Stubbornly I tried to move opposite to the path's direction only to be blown backwards by a sharp, cold breeze. It felt like dozens of knives impaling themselves into my soft flesh. Following the motion of the wind, the atmosphere around my position dropped temperature to the point where I was shivering. "Fine! I guess I have no choice right!" I yelled to no one. Like anyone would listen anyway. Treading down the path with fists clenched I warily became conscious of voices that grew louder. So what if there were people here? Why should it concer- "Mina chan..." There was me... "Mina chan?" I felt myself whisper softly, repeating my own reflection's words. The two figures hadn't taken notice of my presence. "Hai, Rei chan?" It felt odd to be seeing Mina and myself like this, it felt like us but at the same time it wasn't. Could it be our past selves? Taking in all the details the two scouts were all dressed in their fukus. "I...ah, w-wanted to talk about something." Mars stammered to the golden haired goddess that stood before her. There were both underneath a large sakura tree. It was the biggest tree in the grove and I had to admit, it was bigger than any other sakura that I've ever seen. However one thing puzzled me, what were they doing here? Aren't they supposed to be protecting the queen? "Rei chan, you know we have to get back soon! Our mission-" "Hai, hai, Mina chan. I haven't forgotten the mission." She gave mars a slightly puzzled look but continued to smile. That smile looked veeeeeery familiar, Mina used it a lot when she scoped out...My eyes widened. No, you don't mean... "Well...?" Holy shit, she's blushing! I felt myself shift uncomfortably on the spot. I wonder how mars would take this. Looking back to my counterpart I was met with an equally shocking surprise. Mars was too busy blushing as well to really notice Mina's! My jaw dropped slightly. Some great warriors acting like a pair of adolescent teens. It certainly wasn't what I had expected... "I've been meaning...well you know...to ask you...no! To tell you...a-about..." She stopped and bit her lip, refusing to look up into the goddess of love's cerulean orbs. Mina was leaning against the main body of the tree, watching mars stutter with an amused but knowing expression. She giggled softly, looking down for a moment as well. After a minute venus pushed herself off the tree with both of her hands and stood up. In one smooth motion she held out her right hand towards the blushing Mars. The whole thing was boggling my mind, what was she up to? Mars stared at it hesitantly; there was an uncertain look residing in her eyes. Eyeing the hand cautiously, she slowly lifted her right hand towards Venus's to take hold of the gloved hand. I guess she finally made up her mind. Mar's hand almost reached Venus's when the goddess of love grew impatient. There was a squeal as the golden haired girl grabbed Mar's hand and threw her against the tree's bark. The two of them were very close, faces inches apart. "Mina...chan..." My mind was having a brain freeze. Too much was happening, I couldn't believe this. "Shhh..." Both blushing profusely, they both leaned in and met with a soft kiss. Venus decided to press their lips together harder and deepened the kiss while her hands roamed around her companion's curved form. "Mmm..." Mar's gasped slightly when Venus's hands moved south. "Min-" She started but was silenced when Venus slipped her tongue into Mar's mouth. The senshi of fire returned the favor immediately. I could feel my face turn deepen through various shades of red as they pair became more intimate. Their bodies were pressed tight together and the moans grew louder by the second. They allowed themselves to be swallowed by passion and lust. You could almost feel the heat radiating from their perspiring bodies from where I stood. I was staring. For the entire time while I watched this it hadn't really hit me. Realization came hard, Mina and me...they were us and they were... "NOOOOO!" A high pitched scream emerged from my lips as my hands tensed around strands of my hair. My eyes shut themselves tight to expel the image from my mind. The scenery exploded and dissipated in the form of the sakura petals. Everything was dark, a dark void of space which I stood. My knees shook at the images flashed through my mind. "No...no..." It couldn't be but it was...I couldn't deny it any longer, it was another memory. I knew there was something odd about the way I felt about my best friend. How I wanted her, how she made me feel like the happiest person in this world when she was by my side. I adored everything about Mina, the way her bright blue eyes would look at me, the warmth of her touch...she was perfect, everything I'd ever want in a person. But Mars and Venus, they were lovers in the past. Does this mean my feelings for Mina aren't really mine but Mar's? Oh Kami! Please don't let it be... "How...can past feelings affect me now?" I whispered desperately. It was all an illusion. It's not my reality. It never happened to me! "Rei chan?" Mina's voice echoed through the darkness. "Ahh!" I screamed, grabbing my head again. My body was trembled and twitched slightly. Memories came rushing back. We were by the tree outside school, Mina came to meet me, we were talking and she took my hand...and...and...All the images flashed through quickly, then repeating itself in a cycle. My body swayed side to side, shaking my head as I tried to remember. Pain... "Gah!" My knees buckled, a loud thud was heard as there was a contact with the surface beneath me. My eyes shot open surprise. It became harder to breathe, my sides tightened together, crushing the air out of me. What was happening to me? "Ha...ha...neh!" My face winced as I struggled for breath. Everything whirled before my eyes, similar to before. No longer able to hold myself up I fell flat on a hard pitch-black surface, sweat dripped down my fevered brow. This was my reality. This is what life was, pain and hardship. Before I could stop myself I half whimpered, "Mina...chan...it hurts." Somewhere inside my heart cried out for her, but she wasn't here, I was alone. Silence followed my voice. Without warning I felt a pair of invisible arms wrapped themselves around me. The aura was familiar. It was Mina's. I couldn't see her, but she was here...she was here. Domo arigato Kami! I tried not to cry when I felt those comforting arms or when the warmth of her body pressed itself against my side. I really tried. I rolled in the presence's grip, pushing myself against Mina's warmth. The weight on my chest lifted and I could breath again. I don't know how long we were like that but it felt like an eternity. To my disappointment I felt the arms leave after the eternity. A fear rushed me, what if I was going to be left here alone again? "Mina!" I cried out. 'Open your eyes.' When I came to my eyes squinted from the sudden brightness of light. Soft fabric embraced my weary form and a damp towel lay folded neatly on my forehead. I sat up, curious as to where I was now. "Oh, you awake Rei?" My head turned towards the voice. Mina popped her head around the corner. I noticed her face seemed to light up upon seeing me, or was it my imagination? "Hai..." I weakly replied. My attention was drawn to how little she was wearing. Mini shorts and a tight short sleeve! This can't be good. "Stop..." I muttered very quietly under my breath, willing myself to stop staring at the beautiful creature in front of me. I hope she hasn't noticed... "Well, now that you're awake, do you need anything? Water? Maybe something to eat?" "Huh? Uhh..." She laughed. "Oh, I'm not that bad of a cook!" "Ah, ile, its not that!" I waved my arms trying to convince her. "Oh really?" There was that look again. Suddenly my toes under the covers started to look very interesting. "We should get started on that project actually..." I finally replied. Mina frowned and shook her head. "I don't know Rei chan, you were really out of it and you're still sick! Don't tell me you want to exhaust yourself all over again?" "W-well...I really am feeling better! Please, I mean, it won't take long and I actually have an idea." School work always took my mind off my problems. "You do?" I motioned the blond to take a seat on the bed next to me. She eagerly sat down, almost skipped over in fact. "What do you think about doing a song?" "Hmm..." She brought her hands up to her chin in mock consideration. "I like it!" When she leaned in towards me, I found myself hit by the images in the sakura grove. "U-uh, yeah..." In an attempt to hide my blush I brought my hand up to my mouth and coughed gently. It didn't help that Mina decided to wear such a skimpy outfit of all days! When you're sick you have way less control over what your body. "Got any idea on a theme Rei chan? It was your idea after all." "Why don't you choose." "Okay, how about love?" There was a silence. "L-love?" I almost squeaked. It was last topic I wanted to discuss in the world right now. Take deep breathes Rei, I coaxed myself. "Sure Mina chan." Why can't I say no? "Great! So maybe we should..." I only caught bits and pieces of what she was saying. My eyes were too interested in watching the goddess of love's movements. The cute expressions on her face, the way she can get excited by the little things, the way her lips moved...their rosy color, Kami, they looked so soft. I started to feel envious of Mars, the way she kissed Venus and how Venus loved her back. My mind replayed the scene step by step before my very eyes. "Mina chan..." "Hai, Rei chan?" Her entire attention was on me now. Despite feeling nervous I just had to ask. "What...do you think about love?" "Why are you asking?" "You are the goddess of love and we are doing a love song..." I chose my words carefully. "It would help if I knew your opinion on the topic." "Oh..." She fell silent and considered the question for awhile. "Well Rei chan...Do you believe in soul mates?" "Huh?" I blinked. "Well I don't know." "I believe in the idea." She giggled. "Rei chan. let me ask you something. You know the feeling you get when you lose something or someone precious to you? How you feel like a part of you has died or disappeared?" I nodded my head slowly. " It's because that's exactly it. You did lose a piece of yourself." Losing my mom and dealing with my father had made me feel exactly that. What she was getting at sounded interesting, all my attention was on her every word now. "You see Rei chan, all human's soul are jagged." She sighed. "Incomplete...Our souls are constantly being torn to pieces and in turn, are continually being rebuilt with a type of glue, weak or strong, it depends on the individuals will." "Honto?" "Hai. When we experience great lose and other people try to help us out, our souls slowly try to replace what was initially lost. It's because of the people who are willing to take time to be there for you. When they choose to become a part of your life they become a part of you. Follow me so far?" My only reply was a quick nod of my head. "A soul exchange happens." Mina whispers softly. "You can think of it as a partial transplant, they give you a piece of their soul for your own...that piece will be special Rei chan...it'll be different from all the others and will grow with the relationship between the person who gave it to you and yourself." "But...what happens to the lost pieces?" "It's coming up, stop being impatient." She stuck out her tongue. "Ahh...Let's see...Well, you know how we say a soul mate is our missing half?" I nodded my head once more. "That's the way it is, exactly how it is. Going through life all people dream of finding that one special person just for them. We endure the hardships and lose pieces of our soul in hope that someday we'll find that person. So many people...and so many souls...we search for our missing selves in this vast world. Do you see the problem Rei chan?" "Finding...your soul mate?" I guessed. "Bingo. Very good Rei chan." She struck her sailor V pose for victory. "People often mistake their lost pieces for something similar. That's why some people lust and not love, only falsely convincing themselves something its not. The result is always a feeling of emptiness...when two impatient souls try to jam the two halves of the puzzle together they will only hurt themselves in the end..." I swallowed hard. It made so much sense to me...Do I really love Mina? Or is it just lust? It sounded so horrible! I sure wouldn't want to rush things and risk losing someone special forever. "But Rai chan..." Mina's voice was softly whispering into my ear, her breath tickled it and sent shivers down my back. "When you do meet that special person...you'll know for sure...because... there's only one special feeling that you'll ever feel, only for them." "M-mina chan...?" "Minako! Help me carry the groceries to the kitchen!" Came a shrilly voice. The mood of the moment was broken and the front door could be heard opening with the following of footsteps. Mina's mother had come back. Mina pulled herself away from me and turned to go help her mother. "Mina chan?" "Hai, Rei chan?": "You really are the goddess of love." I felt myself smirk. With that she gave a small bow, then whirled around and bolted from the room. She surprises me sometimes. That false ditsy blond act...She always seems klutzy and dense but it's only a façade. It took me a few months to catch on after I first met her. Ami seems to suspect it and so did Makoto. However Usagi is probably the only one who hasn't the slightest clue! I felt myself sigh, Usagi is naturally dense. "Rei, since your awake do ya mind helping?" Mina called from the kitchen. "Be there in a sec!" I was already jumping out of the bed. Mina is who she is...I don't think I could ever understand all of her...but in moments like those... you really catch a glimpse of the real Aino Minako underneath it all.
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