She had always been strong. The only thoughts of her demise were for the cause. The cause. Heh. That's a joke. The cause was no more. Returning to normal life would have been good, had she chosen to lose her memories. Those nights with Michiru by the sea -- all those years of working up the courage to confess and then celebrate their love; those years she couldn't bear to lose. She was disillusioned when she thought that she could live with those memories. Memories of times when they both were happy. Michiru and I. There is no plural. Don't combine her with you. Memories was all she had now. Yesterday was all that filled her mind, because today was lonely and desolate. Today, she was a racer, but knowing that Michiru wasn't out in the stands killed the passion almost as fast as it shredded her heart. Michiru chose to forget, and Haruka didn't blame her. As Sailor Neptune, she had gone through so many trials... more than Haruka did as Sailor Uranus. Sailor Neptune had watched her friends being massacred and torn apart limb-by-limb as Sailor Uranus was unconscious. She could only take losing the Moon Princess so often... she could only take losing Uranus once. The final battle broke her. Haruka's thoughts returned back to the deep slashes on her wrists. She didn't hear the door being slammed in. I don't feel like I'm going to die... maybe I'm already dead. As her vision blurred and her breath slowed to a fatal hault, she couldn't will her hands to touch the face of her beloved one last time. ~*~ White. All she could see was white. Then, the white blur sharpened to curtains, sheets, an IV syringe, and a heart moniter chirping it's monotone rhythm. "You're awake" a voice too familiar involuntarily whispered hoarsly. "Looks like it." Haruka's throaght was dry. She looked around for liquid. "I hate you." The aquamarine-haired woman's cold statement was warmed by the tears that followed. "Why-why are you crying?" In between broken sobs, the woman stated: "You're stupid. Trying to commit suicide. You were supposed to be my friend. You're not supposed to leave like that." Not exactly knowing what the being was doing by her bed, or why she had called her a friend, she felt a tug at her heart knowing that she had caused the foreign woman's tears. Gently, in a new but strangely natural movement, Haruka gently directed the nymph's chin to where she could gently wipe away her tears. "Don't cry over me." The words sounded like a seranade, making the woman uncomfortable, because the open portals of her eyes became filtered, and her movements constricted. All this was just augmented by another unrecognizable figure hesitantly standing at the door. "Michiru, you ready to go to- Oh! Haruka's up." Her voice was less than joyful. Haruka felt a pang of jealousy and depression well up inside her, though she wasn't quite sure why. Michiru, that apparently being her name, abruptly got up, whispered something about returning later, and slipped out of the room, leaving Haruka to delve over her emotions. This only lasted a moment or two, however, because a face she could recognize entered the room. The eyes of the woman with deep green hair held an understanding of the feelings, knowing the reason. Haruka wished she knew. "There's no use in killing yourself for her." Setsuna said. "I know what it's like to watch the person you love be with another. Michiru is happy right now. That should make you happy too." "...What?" "There's no use in hiding your motives." "What motives? For what?" "You're in a hospital." "Yeah... why?" "...do you remember trying to committ suicide?" "...suicide?" Setsuna's eyes widened as she grasped the reality of the situation. "What do you remember about Michiru?" "She was that girl who was here just a second ago... the aquamarine-haired one, right?" "...you've forgotten." "What? Setsuna.. what are you talking about?" "Nothing. Here's your water." "But-" "Don't ask questions, Haruka... just drink." Haruka's emotions when Michiru's girlfriend walked into the room didn't fail to make her wince. When she and Michiru talked, the sense of familiarity was so natural, though the blonde didn't know quite why... but she knew one thing: she was falling in love with Michiru, encountering one thing she promised she'd never experience again: unrequited love. For hours she would ride on her motorcycle, trying to clear her head on why she was having forbidden emotions for this new woman, but she could never come up with a clearer explination than the feeling that there was a force drawing the blonde to her... greater than the tug of the wind upon her sleeves. At first, she disliked Michiru's girlfriend greater than anything, because she wanted to believe that Michiru and she could really be together. She boiled with anger everytime Michiru cried over harsh words, but tried to keep any hint of her emotions to a minimum. These raging battles in her mind kept her awake until the early hours of the morning, trying to stop loving the beautiful Michiru. She pretended that she really was just joking when she complimented and worshiped Michiru more than friends do, saying with all her heart and a sarcastic tone that anyone would kill to be with her. In reality, the friendship was both her reason for living and the demise of her heart. Finally, in those wee hours, she wrote a letter to her... she read it to Setsuna, who had become her confidon, and the crimson-eyed mature woman simply nodded with painful approval. This was all that was needed for Haruka to board her motorcycle and speed across the vast city towards Michiru's apartment. Haruka looked through the apartment window, and saw the reason that Michiru should never be told that the letter was for her: she was smiling happily chatting on the phone. She stood there watching her for a good hour before she remounted her motorcycle and sped off, dropping a trail of tears behind her.
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