[Spring 2004] Shingo's funeral took place on a Friday. His father insisted on attending, despite the ongoing rain and the chill in the air. He didn't say it, but clearly he was beyond worrying about mundane illnesses such as colds or pneumonia. His skin was as gray as the sky. Those who had seen him at his daughter's wedding could not believe how much he had wasted away in the intervening months. Mamoru spoke first at the service. He and Shingo had grown increasingly close over the last few years. Shingo often referred to Mamoru as the older brother he wished he'd had instead of his annoying sister. Mamoru's personal recommendation had helped immensely with Shingo's college application. Like his sister, Shingo had been very popular and a succession of his friends, from high school and college, related their memories of him, both funny and poignant. Neither Shingo's long-time girlfriend nor his sister could bring themselves to speak, lost as they were in their own tears and grief. Ami made some brief comments, relating a tale of a day spent at the beach with Shingo when he was still a schoolboy. It brought a brief smile to everyone's face. After the service ended, Mamoru took Usagi, Kenji, and Ikuko to their home to rest. Shingo's friends organized an informal wake to be held at the dorm where he had lived. None of the senshi saw the need to intrude at either location, so they gathered at the condo where Ami's mom still lived. Upon settling in, they spent sometime in quiet contemplation, none wishing to be the first to break the silence that had descended. Finally, Minako spoke. "I'm glad that I was able to rearrange my tour dates. I know there's not much we can say, but I think it helps Usagi simply to have us all here." Rei nodded her agreement and snuggled gently against Minako's side. Without thinking, Minako began to stroke Rei's hair. "Oh really?" Haruka chuckled quietly, lifting an inquiring eyebrow at the young couple. "And when did this happen?" Suddenly, Rei sat up straight, blushing fiercely. Before she could sputter a reply, Michiru jabbed Haruka in the ribs with her finger. "Now 'Ruka, play nice." While everyone laughed, except Haruka, who was busy rubbing her side, Rei and Mina exchanged a long look and reached a decision. With a wan smile, Mina broke the news. "Well, I guess you all already knew how I felt. It just took this baka miko longer to figure it out." Rei responded in time-honored tradition by sticking her tongue out at Minako. "Rei visited me on tour, just a few days ago," Minako continued. "Congratulations to you both," Setsuna offered with a warm grin. "I'm sure you'll both be very happy." "Are you all ok with this?" Rei asked. Haruka and Michiru laughed in reply while Ami and Makoto whispered together on the sofa. "That is quite a coincidence, Mina-chan," Ami began hesistantly, "because, well, Makoto just came out to visit me in the US." A round of laughter and well-wishes washed out the rest of Ami's confession. "Well, I guess it is contagious," Haruka chuckled. "We must be bad influences, Michi." This time, the blonde racer was prepared when her love attempted to jab her. She grabbed Michiru's wrist and pulled her close for a quick kiss, generating an "awwwww" from their friends. "I hope we'll all be as happy as the two of you are," Rei said sincerely. "I can certainly think of worse role models." Once again, the conversation dwindled. Even the joy the women felt for each other's happiness couldn't pierce the layer of sadness that surrounded them all. This time, Ami broke the silence. "We should do something nice for Usagi," she suggested. "It won't be good for her to sit around thinking about her brother." "Or her father," Rei added glumly. Ami nodded with a sad frown. "Maybe we can take her out somewhere." "I know," Makoto chimed in, "we can take her down to the arcade and the ice cream parlor, just like old times." "Aren't we all a bit old for that?" Setsuna asked. "You're only as old as you feel," Minako declared. "Besides, I'll have to be in disguise anyway, so I might as well go as a teenager." "You haven't aged a day, my love, even though you are closer to thirty than to twenty now," Rei joked. Unlike Haruka, she hadn't honed her reflexes sufficiently to avoid the sharp poke in the ribs that greeted her little comment. "If you two are done, we can get around to planning," Makoto lectured. A round of "Yes, mama-Makoto" rang throughout the room, even from her own little Ami-love. --- The day at Crown did work wonders for Usagi. She had not realized until then just how much light had gone out of her life when her closest friends had scattered across the globe and she desperately appreciated their efforts to spend time with her and cheer her up. Though Usagi's spirits brightened during their time together, her friends could tell that something had changed. A piece of her innocence had faded, or at least hardened. They had left behind a girl still uncertain of herself, sometimes clumsy or unreliable, looking outward to them and to Mamoru for her self worth. They had returned to a young woman, a professional, who knew who she was, understood her own value as a person without losing sight of the importance of those around her. The grace and elegance that had appeared in fits and starts when she was a teenager were now regular pieces of Usagi's persona. Her trust and faith in the world had not gone away, but they no longer arose from naivete, but rather from a mature understanding about the nature of that world, good and bad. Makoto and Rei, much more constrained by the nature of their jobs, returned to their respective homes first. Usagi, Mamoru, Ami and Mina all saw them off together. Many tears were shed and promises to visit soon were made. Ami and Mina stayed a while longer, until they could be certain that Usagi would recover from her grief. Despite her sadness, however, Usagi soon rediscovered her natural joy, focusing on her husband and the baby growing inside of her. "I think she'll be fine," Minako informed Ami as they waited together at the airport. Minako, in disguise as usual, had a private jet, but she had decided to keep Ami company while she waited for her flight to depart. Usagi and Mamoru had an appointment with the obstetrician and had been unable to see their friends off this time. "Usagi is very resilient," Ami agreed, "though, I hope that her father recovers, or at least holds on for a long time. I'm not sure she or Ikuko could take another death so soon." Minako's eyes creased with worry. "I wish we could do more for them. Every part of me feels this urgent need to protect her, both as princess and as friend, but I don't think there is any way we can protect her from life." She sighed regretfully. "I guess that, even if we could, we probably shouldn't. I believe that you learn as much, if not more, from the bad things that happen as you do from the good." "I believe that, too," Ami replied. "But, we will do everything we can and, even when tragic things do happen, we will be here to help her." Heartened by Ami's words, Mina smiled in her best Sailor-V fashion. "Right!" "It's very kind of you to wait with me, Mina-chan." "Well, we don't get the chance to talk all that often," Mina answered. "I figured it would be a good chance for us to compare notes." She scooted closer to Ami with a conspiratorial grin on her face. Ami blushed suddenly, "Compare notes about what, Mina-chan?" Minako raised an eyebrow suggestively, increasing the scarlet hue on Ami's cheeks. "I think you know, Ms. Genius. What was your first kiss like?" After a quick glance around to make sure that no one was eavesdropping, Ami whispered eagerly, "It was sudden and very passionate. We were talking together on my sofa and, out of nowhere, she grabbed me and kissed me. I'm glad I was sitting down, because I'm sure my knees would have gone out on me. I'm getting wobbly just thinking about it." Mina giggled with excitement, "I can totally see that. Our Mako- chan certainly doesn't feel things halfway! Do you know what inspired her to finally make a move?" "Maybe because I had just gotten through telling her how much I loved her," Ami replied with a demure smile. Leaning closer, she went on, "Oh Mina-chan, it was wonderful. We'd both kept so much bottled up inside and it all came rushing out in a torrent." Seeing Mina's provocative smile, Ami realized what she'd just said, and how one could choose to interpret it. If Minako had thought Ami was blushing before, she could be certain of it now. Trying to change the subject, Ami asked, "Was it that way for you and Rei?" Mina sighed dreamily and told Ami about their dinner together and their romantic walk in the park, all leading up to their very first kiss. As she finished her tale, Minako chuckled. "Who would have guessed that Rei and I would be the chaste ones while quiet, shy little Ami and Mako would be the torrid sex weasels!" "Chaste?" Ami asked in surprise. "You mean you guys haven't..." "No, not yet," Mina replied, a touch regretfully. "When we first got together, I was ready. Boy, was I ready, but Rei thought we should take things slowly and I think she is right." She quickly added, "Not that there is anything wrong with moving more quickly." Ami shrugged this off, taking no offense where none was meant. "I'm so happy for you, Mina-chan. I'm sure that things will work out in their own time. Rei seems very happy and much more at peace than I've ever known her." Minako grinned, "I hope so. I know that I am, though I'm going to miss her terribly." She noticed Ami's expression change. "What's wrong, Ami-chan?" "I'm worried," Ami explained. "She and I were just getting together when we got swept here by this tragedy and now we're going to be a world apart. Mina-chan, I've lived for so long without her that, now that I have her, I can't imagine going back to the way things were." Laying a comforting hand over Ami's, Minako murmured encouraging words, but couldn't really put much feeling behind them. She could already feel the absence in her heart since Rei had left. Being alone was all well and good, until you discovered what it was like to share your life with someone, if only for a little while. "We'll all be fine, Ami-chan. Love will conquer all." Ami giggled at that. "You sound like Sailor Moon." With a deep breath, Ami once again chose to change the subject. "Can I ask you something personal, Mina-chan?" "Hasn't this conversation already been pretty personal?" Mina laughed. "You can ask me anything, Ami-chan. Senshi should have no secrets from each other. That's how we all got into trouble in the first place." "Well, you know that I spend a lot of time with gay people back in America, right?" Minako nodded. As a performer, she had met many people with a variety of sexual preferences and had no hang-ups about her own orientation or the social aspects of it. True, she did not publicize her feelings, but that was more from a desire for a modicum of privacy than from any sense of embarrassment or shame. Ami continued, "I know that you and Rei have only been together romantically for a little while, but have you found yourselves adopting traditional roles?" "You mean like 'butch' or 'femme'?" Minako asked with a wry chuckle. "What does that matter, Ami-chan?" "I guess it doesn't matter," Ami sighed, "but it seems like a lot of the couples I know back home gravitate into those roles. If a lesbian picks up a hammer or screwdriver or offers to drive, she's 'acting all butch' or if someone wears a frilly skirt, she's 'going femme.'" Minako thought about this, especially regarding her relationship with Rei. She could recall occasions where she behaved very submissively, following Rei's lead and acting like a traditional girlfriend. Other times, though, Rei seemed to relish a certain passivity, allowing Mina to take a more 'masculine' role. "I think people like to put each other in boxes, Ami-chan," she finally concluded. "That, and they are raised on these TV shows and movies where you have these roles emblazoned on your mind. I would guess that most relationships are much more complex than that." Ami looked up with relief shining on her face. "I'm glad to hear that, because that's exactly what I've thought. I know that a lot of people would think, because of how we look, that they could classify us: Mako the butch, me the femme. But, we're both sometimes. If anything, I think she is much more 'girly' than I have ever been. She loves to cook and to clean and to be taken care of." Ami sighed wistfully. "I miss her so much already, Mina-chan." "I know, Ami-chan, I know. I miss Rei more than I ever would have imagined. I miss Makoto and Usagi, too, even Mamoru." Minako paused, then added, "I hope you were right." "Right about what?" Ami asked. "That we can go home again," Mina answered. "You said in that videotape that we can all go home again. I'm glad I left, but I think I can see the day soon when I'll be ready to come home again." "Home is where your heart lives," Ami whispered, "and for me, that is wherever Kino Makoto is." Both women slid into a comfortable, if not melancholy, silence until it was finally time for Ami's flight to depart. With one last tearful hug, Ami and Mina said their farewells. Later, on her own plane, Minako couldn't get Ami's words out her head. "Home is where the heart lives. I will find a way to return home, Hino Rei, I swear it."
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