Purgatory - The realm between heaven and hell where the soul awaits judgement. Shinozaki is the Japanese name for the boy known as 'Ken' in the dub version of SM. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "I can't do this mother. I've tried, but I can't. I know I can't." "Makoto, this isn't just a simple take it or leave it choice. This is the duty you were born with, and it can't be tossed aside on a whim. You are the heir, and when the time comes, you must rule over Jupiter and its moons." "No I don't. I wish to sever any claim I have to the throne, and grant my rite of passage to my brother Shinozaki." "Shinozaki is nine years your junior. If something were to happen to your father and I in the near future, him taking our place would be completely out of the question. Use your head, Makoto." "I am using it! I'm using it to decide what I want to do with my life!" "And pray tell, what exactly is it you want to do with your life then?" "I...I wish to leave Jupiter...and serve as head of the Royal Guard...on Venus." "I see. So you're content to just throw away your heritage and cast off your obligation to defend your home, to go and serve another planet." "Jupiter and Venus have had a respected and recognized alliance for years. It was you and father who instated it. Our people are born warriors - our military is one of the finest in the galaxy. We can handle ourselves against Beryl. Venus, however, can not. The planet is small, and right next door to Beryl's domain. Their military has grown into something formidable since father took over training...but they still don't have the manpower. It's not enough." "So you think if _you_ go there, suddenly your presence will even the odds? I admit you are stronger than even we imagined you'd turn out, but be sensible Mako. You aren't an army. We are deploying nearly half of our defense to Venus three days from now. That should be more than enough people to fend off Beryl's minions." "The woman is a monster! You don't understand, I have to go!" "Oh, I think I understand perfectly Makoto." "If you understood, then you would know why I can't just sit by when Beryl's planning on conquering our sister planet." "It's not our sister planet that you care about, Mako. It's the young girl who will one day be ruling it." "....." "We don't want to lose you, Makoto. Not only does your planet need you, but we love you as well." "I can't just stand by and let this happen! Mother, I will go there, even if I have to hijack a ship. And if that's the way I leave, you can rest assured I'll never come back." "You love her so much you'd push us aside so quickly?" "...I'll do what I have to do. If that's what ends up happening, it won't be my fault." "I see..." "By your leave, mother." "Stop. Turn around and sit down." *giggle* "....what's so funny?!" "It's just wonderful when things work out the way they were always intended. Go relieve the guards and then meet me and your father at the docking station." "But I told you, I'm going to--" "Ah ah ah. It would be a shame if you left without at least saying hello to Minako." "What? You mean, she's--" "Yes, she's going to be staying here for a while. Her parents share your fears, and want to know that if anything happens, their daughter is safe, and may one day be able to pick up the pieces of their fallen planet and restore it to its former glory. But wait, wait, don't go running off just yet. She won't arrive for another few minutes yet, and when she does, her Highness Queen Selenity needs to speak to you both via our communications system." "Queen Selenity? What does she want with us?" "I don't know yet exactly yet. All I can tell you is that it's something concerning her daughter...." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Makoto? ...hey...are you alright?" I blinked and looked up from my reverie. Stevie was standing in front of me, a tray of drinks in her hand and her brow furrowed. "Sorry," I mumbled "I was just...kinda lost for a minute there." Another memory. Another little piece of my former life back. I silently thanked the gods that it didn't knock me out this time. There would have been too many questions I didn't want to answer if that'd happened. Too many questions. "Mako hunny, I'm not a doctor but I'm pretty sure what happened there wasn't a good thing. You were completely zoned for nearly fifteen minutes." She slid her tray under the bar counter and poured two shots of whisky for a waitress. "This girl has you really messed up, doesn't she?" I shrugged and turned away. My pain is something I don't enjoy sharing. I don't want pity, so I try to never give anyone reason to feel it. It took a long time before I was comfortable enough with the other senshi to even tell them that I lived alone because my parents died in a plane crash. And even then, the only reason I did it was because there was only so many times I could tell them they were gone on 'business trips'. I never told them that I was on the plane when it crashed though. I still have nightmares, sometimes. Flames on the wing, eating into the passenger car. People screaming, shouting, pushing, praying. Luggage toppling down on them. Smoke so thick it burned to breathe in. Coughing, gagging. Crying for my parents. Crawling over bleeding, sobbing bodies to find them. The man I saw, with a piece of shrapnel wedged into his torso, bleeding to death, slowly. And then the explosion.... No one knew how I survived. There was one other man who had, but he would spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. Me, I had a few cuts and bruises. That's all. I fell through a hole in the sky, and somehow, managed to come out of it nearly unscathed. On the physical level, anyway. Mentally...I was as broken as anyone else on that plane ended up. It didn't look like I would have any kin to stay with. My mother was Asian, and had married a gaijin from America. That's where I got my height- my father was white. Their marriage was frowned upon on both sides, and they were disowned entirely. I know I have an aunt and a few uncles somewhere in Tokyo, but I've never even met them. I'm pretty sure they don't even know I exist. My grandmother, on the other hand, made a special effort to 'get to know me' when she heard about the accident. She just seemed to appear, out of the blue. You see, because their families had disowned them, my parents left everything they had to me. My father was an architect, and a good one at that. They'd built themselves a pretty hefty estate before their premature demise -- and every penny of it suddenly belonged to me. 'Grandma' knew what a rich little girl I was, and played it to the hilt. She took me in and acted as my legal guardian for five years. There was always something about her that rubbed me the wrong way, but I could never figure it out. She always seemed very loving, baking me cookies and reading me stories. She never yelled at me, even when I broke some of her beautiful dishes. She was always there to comfort me when I grieved over the loss of my mother and father. She was a lady of fairytale, plain and simple. Like an angel come down to watch over me while my parents met God. She was sly, that old bitch. But there was one thing that gave her away. Every so often, she'd sit me down and have a 'talk'. She'd tell me that she was getting old, and as much as she loved me, it may soon be time for her to leave this world, too. She'd do it in a way that never made me upset; speaking in calm, friendly tones while she held my hands. She would tell me she worried, that when she was gone there'd be no one there to take care of me. Then she would slip me a piece of paper, and tell me if I wanted to make sure I was safe when she was gone, all I had to do was sign it. I always did as she asked, and she'd always be so happy afterwards that I'd get a whole frosted cake to myself with some dumplings. I had no idea just why she was so happy. By the time I reached the age of fourteen, I decided to find out. Grandma always kept her important papers in a drawer of an old dresser in the spare room. I'd found her hiding place by accident when I was looking for some rice cakes. This time my presence was no accident. I knew what I was looking for, and I found it. The total value of my parents combined estates was nearly ten million dollars. They owned various corporate buildings, had a lot of booming stock, and invested wisely. They owned two houses, each in the ritzy section of Juuban (Minako and her family lived in that area.). They were joint owners of a nightclub (which my father had designed himself), and my mother had a priceless antique collection. Last, but not least, they owned the entire apartment complex I live in. Yeah, that's right. I don't just own my apartment -- I own all of them. My grandmother had been playing on my naivety for five years. One by one, she'd gotten me to sign almost everything I had over to her. The only things that were still legally mine were a few of my mother's more valuable antiques, and the apartment complex. I was crushed when I found out, not because I cared very much about the money, but because I'd been so cruelly used. My grandmother didn't love me at all. She was no guardian angel, come to steal me away from the pain. She was just a greedy old woman, using me to get a hold of my parent's life savings, and she did a fine job of it. I packed my things and left while she slept that very night. She never tried to find me. It all worked out in the end. "Hey, Makoto," Stevie slammed the palm of her hand on the countertop in front of me. "Huh?" She waggled her eyebrows. "Looks like you've got yourself a bit of a fan club over there." She pushed an electric blue drink in my direction. "This is from the cute blond." She quirked an eyebrow and nodded in the girl's direction. "If I were you, I'd stop moping here with me and go ask her to dance." I looked over at the girl. Stevie was right, she was cute. Actually, she looked a lot like Minako. Long blond hair, deep blue eyes...never-ending legs and muscular thighs. The only thing missing was the trademark red bow, and a few of the curves I know by heart. No one could ever best Minako in my eyes...but this stranger came close. "I can't," I mumbled. Stevie scowled. "Why not? Makoto, she's the best looking girl in this entire bar, and she wants your attention! Now, I know you're new to this whole gig, but come on!" she giggled and pointed to a dark table in the corner of the bar. "Take a look at the group of dykes over there. They're so jealous I think one of 'em is gonna pop any minute now. If for no other reason, just do it to piss 'em off. I _know_ you like pissing people off." "I'm sorry Stevie...I just...can't." "Why not? Is it because of that chick you're pining over? Look, Mako, that girl over there, she knows what she is, and what she wants. You don't have to worry about the damn head games with someone like that." "...No. It's not about-" "Liar. Get your ass up off of that stool and dance with her." "I told you, I can't. It's not just Min-...the girl. I can't dance, Stevie. I don't know how. I'd step all over her." Stevie raised both of her eyebrows and took a step back. "You've got to be kidding me." "Nope." "Now I've heard everything." She shook her head. "I still can't believe that." "Yeah, well, it's true. So leave me alone." I was about to go outside for some fresh air when a poster behind the bar caught my attention. It was a group picture of all the sailor senshi in each other's arms, presented in such a manner that there could be no mistaking their relation to one another. If they were a family- this was incest. "Interesting piece of...art, you have there Stevie. What's up with it?" "Oh, you mean my senshi?" she clung to her poster with starry eyes. "Everybody around here loves them. I mean, not only are they Japan's biggest heroes, but they're also lesbians to boot! ...Or so we think, anyway." I fiddled with one of the pockets on my cargo pants. "What makes you think that, just out of curiosity?" "Well, most would say wishful thinking, but," she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially to me "I saw them once, downtown. A youma attacked while I was doing some shopping...and WHAMMO! They were just there. It was incredible...I'd never really believed in them before, ya know? They were always on par with Santa, or the Easter Bunny in my head. A wonderful fantasy. But now, now I know they're real." "And the fact that they're real makes them....?" "Let me finish. You see, while they were fighting, one of them was hit. The one in the orange fuku, I think. I'm pretty sure. Anyway, the one in the green...she gets so mad she charges that youma, and tears his bloody arm off with her bare hands. Her BARE HANDS! There was goop flyin everywhere...it was really something. So after she goes and rips I'm real good, the other senshi move in for the kill. The green one backs off after that though, and picks up the one in the orange. She's woozy, but otherwise seems ok." "So that's the only reason you have to back up your theory? The fact they don't like to see each other hurt?" I felt so completely exposed under her observations. I couldn't stand it. "No," she shook her head. "You don't understand. The look the green clad one had on her face...the way she was so gentle with her fellow senshi. There was just something there, ya know? Maybe a lot of people wouldn't pick up on it...but I could see it. I could see it." I was quiet for a few minutes after that. I knew the battle she was referring to...it was a long time ago, but I remembered. Minako had taken a heavy blow to the head from that youma, and it pushed me over the edge a little. No, a lot. Despite her protests and insistence that she was alright, I carried her home that night. It was probably a good thing I did too - she kept drifting in and out of consciousness along the way. She was in pretty good shape after a good nights rest, though. I looked back at the poster that'd captured my attention earlier. The artist was good, whoever it was must have put a lot of effort into the piece. I couldn't find one flaw in the entire thing. We were all perfectly proportioned -I was even almost a head taller than everyone else- and our elements were all present in the colored background behind us. But despite its obvious beauty, I hated the picture. I had to fight the urge to rip it to shreds, and set it aflame. Not because it told a lie. Not because I was offended, or didn't want things to be that way. But because in it, Minako had her arms wrapped around Rei. Not me. Me...I was on the other side of her. So very far away. A million miles away. I'm always a million miles away... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 'Hey, this is Makoto. You know the drill. Leave a message, and If I like ya, I'll call back.' Mako-chan, are you there? If you can hear me, please pick up...... Alright, I'm almost finished with this shoot. As soon as I'm done, I'm going over there...don't do anything crazy Mako-chan. Just wait for me....
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