It was two days after her injury, and Rei was coming home. Mostly on the recommendations of Dr. Mizuno, the hospital had decided that she could rest at home as safely as she could at their facility. So while Yuuichirou and Grandpa Hino picked the miko up from the hospital, the Inner Senshi prepared a small celebration for their friend's homecoming. "Oh wow Mako-chan!" Usagi said longingly from her position on a small wooden stool, helping Minako hang a banner. The brown-haired girl entered Rei's bedroom, followed by Ami and Chibi-Usa. All three were carrying large, covered trays and the smells rising from them were absolutely heavenly. "That's great Mako-chan!" Minako said, trying to put the last bit of tape on the now-shaking banner. "Um...Usagi-chan?" The pigtailed girl was following the trays with her head, leaning over so that the stool was balanced on just two legs. "I don't think that's very..." The stool flew out from beneath Usagi's feet, sending her plummeting to the ground with a squeal. A moment later, the banner fluttered down over her prone body. "Usagi-baka..." Chibi-Usa muttered, looking embarrassed as she set her tray down with the others on the table. She turned to leave, but found herself facing Ami, who was looking down at her with a raised eyebrow. "Um..." Ami smiled and her eyes flickered to Chibi-Usa's hand. With a sigh, Chibi-Usa blushed and replaced the cookie she had filched from her tray. Makoto helped Usagi up and took her place on the stool. "Help Ami-chan get the food ready, okay?" She smiled at Usagi. "And Ami-chan..." "I know, I will." Ami said with a wave and a smile. She, Chibi-Usa and Usagi began setting out the large, elaborate lunch Makoto had prepared, Ami constantly on the lookout for the other two's attempts to start early. "You really went all out, didn't you Mako-chan?" Minako asked as she set her end of the banner in place once again. "Yeah, I guess so." Makoto said with a small blush, turning her face away as she held the banner up. Minako turned to look at this rather odd reaction, but got distracted as she saw Ami setting out the various dishes Makoto had prepared, a small smile on the blue-haired girl's face. Minako blushed a little herself as she watched the other girl dreamily. "Minako-chan..." Makoto's voice pulled her back to reality. "Do you want me to do my side first?" Minako blinked. She had allowed her end of the banner to droop until it was level with her waist. She blushed and hurriedly lifted it again. "No time!" Chibi-Usa called out urgently, looking out the door. "They're here!" Minako and Makoto stared at each other helplessly, then both held the banner up as high as they could, grinning wildly and trying to look like this had been the plan all along. "Welcome home...Rei...chan..." The initially exuberant welcome stuttered a bit as Rei came in, looking like a cocoon and in the middle of a blistering argument. "I asked you to bring something warm!" She shouted at her grnadfather. "Not empty out my closet!" Rei was wrapped in so many sweaters and jackets that it didn't look like she could move her arms. "Dr. Mizuno said you had to keep warm!" The little old man shouted, bouncing up and down as he followed Rei inside. "So you thought that meant mummifying me?" Rei waved her arms up and down as best as she could. "He's just trying to help Rei-san." Yuuichirou said timidly from his position at the door. Rei wheeled on him. "Don't YOU start too. It's bad enough that you both forced me into all of this! Don't even TRY to defend it!" The tirade would have continued, but Rei finally noticed that the room wasn't empty. "Oh, hi guys!" She said, smiling brightly and shoving Yuuichirou violently out of sight. "Wow!" She gushed. "That banner is SO cute." She paused. "But wouldn't it have been better to just hang it up?" "Well...yeah." Minako said with an embarrassed smile. "Why didn't we think of that, Mako-chan?" Makoto didn't answer. In fact, she looked more or less like she wanted to die. Rei sniffed the air. "Oh Makoto! You made all this for me?" She said, staring at the lunch hungrily. "I LOVE you." She gushed, sitting by the table and beginning to eat. "All I've had is hospital food. Mmmmm, this is so good Mako- chan..." She paused, looking at Makoto who's face had gone completely crimson. "Are you okay?" Makoto made a dash for the door. "I'm fine! Just need some air!" The door slid shut behind her. Grandpa Hino picked up the falling end of the banner and walked it over to Minako, who was still on the stool. "Here you Minako-chan!" He said happily, standing directly underneath her and looking up. "This is a lovely...banner..." A tiny bit of drool appeared in the corner of his mouth. "Ojii-chan..." Rei snarled, clenching her fist. A moment later, the door to Rei's room slid open again and Grandpa Hino came sailing out, landing in a thick drift of snow. "And don't come back!" Rei called before throwing the door closed again. The firey miko returned to the table, stripping off the various layers of clothing she had been imprisoned in. "So, is anyone else coming?" She asked casually. "Setsuna said she might come by with Hotaru, and Mamoru's on his way." Ami supplied. "Mich...Haruka and Michiru can't make it?" Rei tried not to sound too disappointed. The other four girls looked at one another uncomfortably. "Michiru..." Usagi started. "She kind of thinks it's her fault that you got hurt." "What?" Rei exclaimed, standing so quickly she almost tipped the table over. "That's crazy! I..." She paused, taking a deep breath and sitting back down. "I'll talk to her." Minako tapped her lower lip idly and glanced at the door. What had happened to Makoto? She really didn't look very well. -Well, she *had* spent who knows how long doing all of this cooking.- The blonde Senshi mused, biting a corner of something fried and delicious. -It's no wonder she needed a quick break.- And, just a moment later, the door slid open and Makoto walked in again, smiling and flushed from the cold. "Hey guys, look who I found!" Mamoru, Setsuna and Hotaru stepped in, warming their hands. The two Outer Senshi both gave Rei a warm hug, and Mamoru gave the dark- haired girl a gentle squeeze around the shoulders. It took several minutes, but eventually everyone got settled. Makoto, Hotaru and Chibi- Usa sat at the small table with Rei, Mamoru perched on the bed next to Usagi, who leaned against him as she browsed through one of Rei's mangas. Setsuna leaned next to the door, and Ami and Minako sat side by side against Rei's desk, hands clasped, unseen, between them. "So Rei-chan...how are you feeling?" Makoto asked after several minutes of eating and chatting. The chatting trailed off as everyone turned their attention to Rei, who shrugged with a smile. "I guess I'm feeling okay. The cut still doesn't seem to want to close on its own, so the stitches will probably have to stay in longer than usual. But it's healing pretty quick." She turned and smiled at Ami. "Tell your Mom I said thanks, by the way. The other doctors didn't want to let me out, but she talked them into it." Ami forced a smile and nodded. She was still troubled by her mother's reaction to Rei's injury. She felt Minako give her hand a little squeeze, and returned the comforting smile that the blonde girl gave to her. "So you feel okay otherwise?" Makoto pursued. Rei nodded thoughtfully. "I guess...I mean, I don't feel bad. But I do feel...a little strange. Like something's changed, but I don't know what." She smiled ruefully. "It's probably nothing." "Maybe not." Setsuna said, stepping away from the wall and peering intently at the Senshi of Fire. "I really didn't like that knife that Tachyon had. It felt very wrong to me, and when I blocked it there was a very strange energy reaction." She paused thoughtfully before speaking, in a gentle tone. "Rei-chan...if you don't mind, what happened when she attacked you?" "I don't mind." Rei said, bristling a little at being babied. "She stabbed me, I don't have a problem with it other than that." "Yeesh Rei-chan, she's trying not to hurt your feelings." Usagi said, not looking up from the manga she was reading. "You can just stay out of it, Usagi-chan." Rei snapped. "Especially when you're so obviously more concerned with reading my mangas than anything else." She paused. "And you can stop leaning your face in so close to the pages when you're stuffing yourself. I don't want grease and drool all over it." Usagi glared angrily at Rei and was ready with a retort, but a small cough from Setsuna brought both girls to a halt. "Oh..." Rei said, closing her eyes and coughing slightly. "Right." She continued to glare at the sullen Usagi out of the corner of her eye as she related the story of how she had found Tachyon in the collapsing building, leaving out, of course, her reasons for fleeing in the first place. "...and I was going to carry her back to the rest of you, when I felt her moving in my arms. I looked down, and she was holding that knife. I tried to drop her and twist away, but it felt like I was moving in slow motion. She caught me in the shoulder, and I suddenly felt cold all over. That's when I blacked out, and I didn't wake up until I was in the hospital." "So, she must have slowed down your passage through time, but not as much as she did with Haruka." Setsuna said thoughtfully. "Was it because you were touching her?" She shook her head. "Still, I think it would be a good idea to find out why you're feeling strange." "But not now." Makoto said, assuming a protective posture. "She still needs to rest. It can wait a few days, right Rei-chan?" Rei smiled a bit and nodded. "Sure." Setsuna looked a bit dissatisfied, but nodded as well. That out of the way, Rei began to take a few items from the desserts that Makoto had brought, lavishing praise on them while condemning all hospital food. Makoto just blushed softly and smiled in response. ------------------- Haruka left the kitchen with a glass of milk, pausing as she caught sight of a rather miserable-looking Michiru still sitting at the dining room table. She hadn't moved since Setsuna had left with Hotaru, and that had been over an hour ago. Haruka sighed a bit and took the chair next to her lover, sipping her milk and looking blankly ahead just as Michiru was. "No." She finally said, shaking her head. Michiru turned to look at her, and Haruka gave her a small, playful smile. "I really don't think that spot on the wall is going anywhere." Michiru smiled wanly before letting her eyes slide downwards and away. Haruka took a long drink of milk. "You know, if you wanted to go, you really should have gone." "I couldn't, and you know it." Michiru said softly. "I know you think you couldn't. There's a difference." Michiru let out a long, sad sigh and leaned against the taller woman. Haruka shifted slightly in her seat and slid an arm around Michiru's waist. "I feel so terrible." Michiru finally said. "I know...you've been saying that for the last three days." Haruka said, kissing her briefly on the head. "Do you mind?" Michiru said petulantly. "I'm trying to mope here." Haruka chuckled. "I'm sorry, but I can generally only take you moping for a few days before I have to try to snap you out of it. Besides, I'm usually the one doing the brooding, right? "You think I should have gone, don't you?" Haruka smiled a bit. "Well, yes. This thing won't fix itself by you sitting around here being miserable. You need to talk to her. You know that." Haruka gently pulled Michiru closer and ran her free hand through the other woman's aqua hair. "You've already had a really long talk with Hotaru, and that went well, didn't it?" "Well, it's different with Rei. You know that." Michiru sighed. "I knew how badly I could hurt her, and I didn't care. I was just too angry." "True...but all the time you waste before you go talk to her is probably hurting her even more." Haruka tilted Michiru's face towards hers, and smiled once more. "Or are you just afraid that she won't see you as perfect anymore?" Michiru blinked and looked a bit indignant. "That's ridiculous!" "Oh, I don't know..." Haruka mused. "It's so flattering when a pretty girl sees you as the perfect woman. I mean, most of the women I've met think I'm perfect, and it's been pretty nice." Michiru reached up and poked Haruka's nose pointedly. "Oh yes, and you're so very modest, too." She said sarcastically. Haruka just grinned. "I know, it's a burden....ack!" She twitched violently, almost spilling her milk as Michiru jabbed her in the sides. Michiru sat up, pulling away from Haruka. "You might actually have a point." She mused. "Don't sound so surprised." Haruka grinned, and Michiru gently stroked her fingers over her cheek, smiling fondly. "I just mean that it would be good for Rei to realize I made a terrible mistake, both with Hotaru and her." Haruka turned her head to gently kiss Michiru's fingertips. "Will you tell her that you know?" Michiru shook her head. "No...I don't see any reason for that. It would just embarrass her, and I've caused her enough distress for the time being, wouldn't you think?" Haruka considered the question for a moment. "I suppose...but on one level I think she likes the whole tragic love thing. Rei can be pretty melodramatic if you give her the chance." "Well, either way I'm not playing into that." Michiru said with a small laugh. "Feelings like hers will fade over time, especially when her fantasy meets the reality." "True enough." Haruka murmured, drawing Michiru's face closer to her own. Michiru seemed to melt against her, and Haruka smiled softly. "Of course, if she got to know the reality like I do, we'd have a much more serious problem." Michiru chuckled a little and pressed her lips to her lover's. Haruka smiled into the kiss. "I guess you're feeling better." She whispered. "I guess I am." ------------------- Ami and Minako stepped out into the cold evening, their breath steaming. Setsuna had left some time ago, being busy at the university, but the others were still there to keep Rei company for awhile. Ami had promised dinner with her mother that evening, and Minako had given a mumbled excuse to leave with her. "I'm glad Rei's feeling better." Minako said brightly, stepping lightly down the shrine's long stairway. "Me too." Ami said, sounding somewhat subdued. As Minako's feet hit the street below, she turned back to look at Ami, who had fallen behind several steps. The blue-haired girl was looking back at her girlfriend with a faintly sad expression on her face. "Ami?" Minako asked, tilting her head slightly. "Is anything the matter?" Ami didn't answer until she had reached the bottom of the steps as well. She gently took Minako's bare hand in her gloved ones, looking down at it as she warmed it gently. "It's silly." She said in a soft voice. "Ami..." Minako said gently, using her free hand to brush back Ami's hair. "Really, what is it?" Taking a deep breath, Ami let it out in a long, slow trail of steam. "I know today was about Rei, about welcoming her home. But..." She looked up a bit, just peeking up at Minako's face. "For some reason, I thought you might have decided it was time to tell the others about us." Minako tried hard to keep her face expressionless but Ami obviously saw something. Ami's face turned up, looking fully at Minako now. There was concern there, Minako saw, concern and perhaps even a hint of exasperation. "Mina-chan, don't you want them to know?" Minako gently extricated her hand and turned away, looking up at the sky. It would snow again soon. "Yes...I don't know." She sighed. "I guess so." "You guess so?" "Well..." Minako turned back to look at Ami. "I just don't see why it's so important to...I don't know...show off." That came out a lot more snappish than Minako had intended, and she flinched inwardly. "Minako, this is not about 'showing off.'" Ami said, in a tone that showed she had caught Minako's inflection and hadn't liked it much. "This is about being honest with our friends...but do you know what it's really about?" She said, the building anger draining slowly out of her voice. "What?" Minako asked cautiously. To her surprise, Ami stepped close and hugged her tightly around the waist, laying her head against Minako's shoulder. Tentatively, Minako returned the embrace. "It's about not hiding our feelings for each other. I'm tired of pretending to just be friends when anyone's around. I'm tired..." Ami took a deep breath. "I'm tired of having to pretend I don't love you." There was a long silence after that, broken only slightly by the whispering of the faintly sweet winter breeze. Minako gently stroked Ami's short hair, rocking the two of them back and forth slowly. "Well." She finally said in almost a whisper. "You really know how to end an argument." She chuckled softly and Ami looked up at her. "You're right, Ami. And it's not fair that I've made you keep us a secret from the others for so long." She closed her eyes and sighed. "We'll tell them soon...tomorrow, if we can." "You don't have to be scared Mina-chan." Ami said, gently tracing a finger over Minako's cheek. "They're our friends. And with Hotaru and Chibi-Usa, and Haruka and Michiru, nobody's really going to mind. You must know that." "I know...that's not why..." "Then what?" Ami asked. "I don't really understand." "Neither do I." Minako smiled ruefully. Ami opened her mouth, but Minako just shook her head. "Not yet...I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I...there's still a lot I need to figure out on my own." Ami squeezed the blonde girl a little. "I understand." Minako smiled down at her lovingly. "I knew you would." She kissed Ami softly. "So...we'll tell the others." She hesitated. "But...I don't think everyone needs to know yet, do you? Like, our parents?" Ami bit her lip, looking extremely uncomfortable. "No..." She said slowly. "No...I'm not ready for that, either. But I feel very bad keeping this from my mother. And also..." She hesitated. "Also...?" "She's starting to realize something's going on. And...I'm not sure if it's us being together, or...or my being a Sailor Senshi." Minako blinked several times. "Really?" She asked, not entirely intelligently. Ami nodded a bit. "Wow...either way, that's huge. I...what do you want to do?" Ami shrugged a bit. "I really don't know." She smiled a little sardonically. "I guess I need time to think about this on my own, too." She kissed Minako. "But I wanted you to know." Minako returned the kiss, and the two girl's arms tightened around each other. A short time later, Minako released the other girl with a smile. "You should get going. Your Mom will be waiting." Ami smiled back. "See you tomorrow, Mina-chan." She kissed Minako briefly on the cheek and headed off down the street. Minako smiled after her, bringing her hand up to touch her cheek where Ami had kissed it. Finally, she became aware of the cold once again and turned her feet towards home, pulling her jacket in tightly and shivering slightly. Except for her bedroom, all the windows of the house were darkened when Minako arrived. She unlocked the side door into the kitchen and kicked her shoes off, looking around at the dark, silent house. She passed into the living room without turning on the lights and sat in an armchair, curling up with her knees resting under her chin. She stared forward, the room very dimly illuminated by the street lights outside. What was the problem? Why was she so hesitant about letting other people know about her and Ami? When Ami had asked her before, the phrase that had gone through the blonde Senshi's head had been unsettling. -Because then it would be real.- Real? What did that mean? Minako puffed out her cheeks. If what she and Ami had now wasn't real to her, what did that make it? A dream...a fantasy. Something harmless that could drift away without really hurting her. But that was ridiculous. What she felt for Ami was as real as anything she'd ever felt in her life. And if it ended, it would hurt just as bad. -But not really.- A soft voice spoke from her heart. -Be honest Minako...you're still holding back. If you weren't, you'd be as excited about telling everyone as Ami. Even more so, probably.- But why? -You're the only one who can answer that. You're also the only one who can change it. Do you want to?- Yes, of course! -But you're still too scared to try, isn't that true?- Maybe...I'm not sure. I know I want things to be different. I want to love her without holding back. -Then you have to let go of your fear, first.- How? But the voice fell silent. Minako closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "Minako?" The voice right at her elbow made Minako jump. "Artemis! Don't sneak up on me!" "I heard the door open, but you never came upstairs." Minako lowered her legs, and Artemis jumped up into her lap, a warm, heavy lump that seemed to glow luminously in the darkness. "How's Rei?" "A lot better. She'll have to keep the stitches in awhile, but everything's healing nicely. She still feels a little funny, but she says it's nothing important." "She wouldn't." Artemis muttered, curling a bit tighter. "How come you're sitting here in the dark?" "I just needed a little time to think." Minako replied. "Ami and I are going to tell the others about us soon. Maybe tomorrow." "Well...that's good. Isn't it?" "I guess so." She was quiet for a long moment. "Is there something wrong with me, Artemis?" "What do you mean?" The lack of an immediate 'no' unnerved Minako slightly. "I mean...I'm worried that I can't give Ami what she deserves. She's already told me that she loves me. But I couldn't say it back. Ami told me that she understood, but that doesn't really make it better. I know I feel for her that strongly...shouldn't I be able to admit it?" Now it was Artemis' turn for silence. Finally he shifted slightly in Minako's lap. "I don't think there's something wrong with you in the way that you're worried about." He said. "You can love her, if you let yourself." "How do you know?" "I know who you are." The white cat said, and Minako could hear the smile in his voice. "Who you really are. And I know that you probably have the greatest capacity to love of any person on earth." "And who am I?" Minako asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. "You're Sailor Venus. You're the *Princess* of Venus. The Soldier of Love. That's more than just a title." "I don't understand." "You will." Artemis said. "It's like I've told you...you've been hurt. And you've been carrying that hurt along with you for so long that you've forgotten what it's like without it, so you don't really know how to let it go. And at the same time, you're afraid of adding to it." "So what do I do?" Minako asked. "You're really the only one who can figure that out." Artemis said, mimicking Minako's own internal dialogue. Minako puffed out her cheeks and let the breath out, dissatisfied. Artemis just chuckled. "Sorry." He hopped off Minako's lap. "I'm going back upstairs. Are you coming?" "In a minute." "Okay." He spoke again before he started climbing the steps. "Ami really loves you, Minako. And you love her. She's your best chance to leave the past behind." And he was gone. Minako spent several more minutes staring into the darkness of her empty home. She had to figure it out on her own? Fine. She didn't know how, but she would. If not for herself, then for Ami. Ami loved her, and Minako would become able to return that love just as Ami deserved. "I promise." Minako whispered into the shadows. ------------------- AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, I don't really have a lot to say after this chapter. Now that I've found my stride once more, the story is flowing along a lot more steadily. The goal is still awhile away, but I can see the path. I hope it's not as obvious to all of you, though, or things will be really boring. ^_^ Sailormoon and all it's characters belong to their owners. All other characters belong to me. I'm making no profit from their use. This story is only to be taken ocularly. Do not use this story while operating heavy machinery.
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