Rei had imagined Minako lots of places.
She had imagined her in a white dress by the ocean at night, her feet covered in sand like a sugar doughnut. She had imagined her flush and breathless beneath Rei, little splotches of pink crawling up her naked chest and neck. She had imagined her in the dark, her pale skin like a shallow dish of milk that Rei would lap up with her tongue.
She had not imagined her here, in the middle of the day.
Standing before her awkwardly.
Rei was on folded knees in the fire room, organizing a pile of wood into neat stacks up against the wall. The pieces interlocked together, balancing up against the screens, the rest of the room void of anything but the square opening where Rei would consult the fire and a small pillow where she would sit. And Minako had come here, far too early for someone with a hangover, in a blue cotton dress.
Rei could barely look at her.
The miko hadn't slept, but she never did. She kept herself busy all night with chores and anger—mainly anger. And with the stark daylight she was able to see clearly what had happened the other night. There was no question in Rei's mind now, with the chimes of the shrine ringing in the background, with the patter of conversations floating in from down the street. Rei would erase every last minute of that night whether Minako wanted it or not.
What a fool Minako was, to think she could come and seduce Rei here, in the middle of the day.
The blond stood by the door, fingering the soft, yellow paper there. She remembered what had happened in bits and pieces. She remembered Rei's stomach rising and falling faster and faster the closer Minako got to her. She remembered Rei's finger in her mouth. She remembered Rei saying, "No."
And now she was here, forcing Rei to relive every last excruciating minute of it.
The miko kept herself busy with the firewood.
“Busy day at the shrine today?” Minako asked, trying desperately to think of something she could say. Her head was pounding and she wanted to reach out to Rei and never let go of her. She wanted to hit and scream at Rei for ignoring her. She wanted to suck on her finger again. She didn’t know what she wanted.
“Mmm,” the priestess replied, which wasn’t even a reply at all.
“Did you have fun at the festival last night?” the blond continued, daring a glance towards Rei and then quickly adverting her eyes when she saw the miko staring at her.
“Minako—stop.”
She fell silent and dropped her hand from the screen, looking anywhere but Rei’s face. How could she do this? How could she act so nonchalant like nothing had happened between them when clearly something had? Something wonderful. Something dangerous. Something pleading. Something.
"What did it mean?" Minako said suddenly, looking to Rei. She was finally brave enough to meet the miko head on, or maybe it was the anger, the pleading, the pounding in her head and nothing like bravery at all.
Rei stiffened, darting her gaze quickly to Minako. Her eyes were glittering darkly, daring anyone to bypass them, to forge ahead with the warning buried there. Then she turned back to the wood, taking another piece and placing it gently on top of the others. When Rei spoke, it was carefully, with just the right air of even certainty. "What are you talking about?"
Minako hated her. She hated her. She hated her.
It was easy to be angry with Rei. It was so easy when Minako had actually taken the time this morning to pick out a cotton dress to wear with the intent of enticing her friend. So easy when this wasn't the first time Rei had tried to erase their history. So easy when every time Minako was bold enough to act on an impulse, the priestess hid away behind an unemotional, unresponsive exterior that could so easily break her best friend. How could she do that?
"I'm talking about last night," Minako said bluntly, her eyes flashing with hurt and betrayal. "Or was it someone else I was with and not you?"
Inwardly Rei snarled at the blond who dared to enter her shrine so casually, dressed like a goddamn sex pot and dared to bring up something like that... like THAT... here. In the middle of the day. Outwardly, Rei shrugged, looking away towards the corner of the room. "I wasn't myself. I didn't mean to give you any ideas."
"Any ideas?" Minako's voice had risen.
"Yes."
She could have punched Rei in the face. So visible was Minako's anger that she began pacing, clutching the bottom of her dress into fists, giving Rei a startling view of her best friends legs. Rei immediately turned her eyes away from those tempting limbs, focusing, instead, on the task at hand. Minako tried to say something. She tried twice before stopping herself, clamping her mouth shut with a snap. The words were there, but they were in a furry, tangled mess in her mind, tumbling along the inside of her skull trying to carve out the perfect assault that could hurt Rei as much as she had hurt her. But Minako wasn't as good at arranging words as Rei was. Her arguments would flail in comparison to the composed stoic priestess, who could go on stacking firewood as if that was the only goddamn thing that mattered in the room.
All that seemed to come out of Minako's mouth was one harsh word flung haphazardly, meaninglessly, in Rei's direction.
"Bitch."
Rei tilted an eyebrow at Minako in surprise, but by then she had already swirled around and slammed the screen door shut with a definitely smack. Rei noticed that a small tear had opened in the corner of her screen that Minako had been worrying with her fingers. The priestess stood and tried to smooth the soft, yellow paper. It didn't help. The damage had already been done.
Rei didn't know why she did this. There was something about Minako's room, and more specifically, her bed.
She had spent many nights next to Minako, over the course of high school and even into college when the girls would get together for a sleepover. Back then, she didn't think too much about what made her crawl over into Minako's bed at night, or what it meant when they woke up together—tangled and comfortable and warm. There was no alternative motive then, in the hazy impulses of adolescence, where their close friendship allowed those kinds of intimacies without question. But now they were older. Minako had let many people into her bed, and not for the same reasons as before. Her bed was no longer something to share between friends but rather, a haven for lovers.
Rei knew if she ever did enter into Minako's bed as an adult it would be different.
It would be more.
Minako was asleep. Of course she was, it was nearly four a.m. and most normal people found sleep an essential part of life. Rei did not. Sleeping had always been an afterthought, thrown in after her mental and physical exhaustion became too much for her body to cope. And now Rei couldn't coax her body into slumber even if she had wanted to. It started this summer, when Minako came back from college for a while, living in that apartment just down the street from the shrine. And Rei could never rest soundly knowing that.
But here she was.
Standing in front of Minako's bed.
Miserable.
And that same feeling that graced her at night was there too, making her gnaw worriedly at her bottom lip.
Rei carefully took a step forward and tested what it would feel like to sit on the edge of her best friend’s mattress. It sunk with her weight and so she quickly flattened herself out on her back, willing the mattress to remain undisturbed by her presence. She could feel Minako breathing next to her, and Rei was frozen in terror at what she had started. She should get up and leave immediately, she knew this, but every fiber in her was instead telling her to reach out and stroke Minako's long golden hair. She hated when Minako was mad at her. It was so much easier when she was the one holding the grudge, feeling righteous and fiery in her own right. She was good at being angry. But after two days of no communication, she couldn't stop herself from going and finding Minako. She was unhappy and lonely without her best friend.
Oh god. Her delicious, dangerous scent was everywhere. Minako's warm skin was radiating with it, the orange groves, the summer air... Rei had unnatural urges to start licking her sweet, sticky skin because of it. And consequently Rei was reminded of the cherry blossom tree, since Minako had invaded that secret spot too with the same infuriating scent. Intoxicating. Beautiful. Good enough to eat.
Minako shifted, and Rei snapped alert, forcing her mind not to wander. She became aware of every inch of Minako's body along hers as she inhaled shallowly and let out narrow breaths of air. Minako was only wearing a small shirt and underwear and Rei was acutely focused on the blond vixen’s legs, bare and soft pressing up against her side. The miko felt herself reaching out, as if someone other person had control of her limbs, and drawing Minako close to her, so she could get buried into that unusual blond hair. Minako didn't seem to wake, instead turning so she was nuzzled along Rei's front. Then lazily, Minako hooked her leg around her best friend and Rei felt like groaning. It was too good. Too much.
Hadn't they slept together like this so many times before?
But with Rei's secret intentions, with the awareness of Minako's soft, warm body, with the blond nuzzling her face into Rei and Rei letting her—no—welcoming her...It had never been anything like this before when they were teenagers. Nothing like this.
It was more.
Maybe all the things Rei wanted back then when they were young were the same now. Maybe the only difference now was how badly she wanted it. Maybe after seeing Minako golden in the dim light of their cherry blossom tree, licking her lips and pleading Rei's name was all it took to break the strong priestess.
"I'm sorry," Rei whispered into Minako's hair. It was easy to say when Minako was sleeping, wasn't it? And Rei wanted to say more, she wanted to confess things she had never said out loud before, but she didn't have the words.
Minako could not tell reality from dream-state, since she was still entrapped by the aloofness of slumber, but it didn't matter. This dream was nice, even if it wasn't a dream at all. There was a dark crater of longing that was sitting in between Minako's legs, and the moment she had discovered Rei in her bed, she stopped caring about everything else. She didn’t care that she was supposed to be mad with the priestess, shunning her for daring to ignore her in a blue cotton dress. And even if Rei would erase this all in the morning, even if it really was all a dream she could only relive in her mind, she didn't care, didn't care, didn't care...
With delicate fingers, she slid the bottom of Rei's shirt up over her stomach and Rei surprisingly let her lift it from her shoulders. It rolled up along Rei's arms, leaving her naked chest pressed right up along Minako's soft and supple curves, and for one horrifying moment Rei thought her friend would open her eyes, disrupt this guise of sleep and see Rei there, bare, wanting, needing... but then Minako was back, her mouth pressed up in the hallow of Rei's neck.
Rei could continue pretending as long as Minako continued to sleep, even if the blond’s hands were now running along Rei's back, hooked just-so in the smallest part of her ribs. Rei could pretend they didn't know what they had been doing. You were asleep, she could say. And as long as Minako was asleep, she could be brave.
Rei pressed the front of her pelvis directly up against Minako, squaring them together like a living, breathing yin yang. Minako responded by tightening her legs around their existing tangle, the sheets long ago twisted around their ankles. There was some sort of hot desire that was awakened as Rei pressed herself along Minako, and she moved her hips slightly in experimentation. The woman beside her accommodated the movement by shifting with her.
Minako felt soft. She felt like Rei had imagined her. And the aching, the demand, the desire that Rei normally shoved away was there, feeding into her movements, making her forget what exactly she was doing. She would have let Minako touch her anywhere as long as she kept pretending to sleep, as long as Rei didn't have to confront this in the morning.
But then, quite suddenly, she felt Minako's eyelashes flutter open against her neck.
Rei stiffened and Minako knew of her mistake too late. For one moment they remained tangled up in each other but then Rei sat upright, and Minako followed her, so they both sat side by side. The modest miko pulled the sheets up from their ankles to hide her naked chest and then began instantly hunting for her lost shirt, which had been tossed behind her back on Minako's floor.
"Rei…" Minako started but Rei interrupted her.
"Just stop."
She hastily grabbed her shirt and yanked it over her head before falling still in her movements, embarrassed, ashamed, red with the anger and the humiliation of acting like this with her best friend. Why was she here? Why did she crawl into Minako's bed? Why had Minako let her? It didn't seem to make sense to the priestess now that the pretending was gone.
Minako hated Rei for reacting like this. The miko was the one who had crawled into her bed, not the other way around. It was Rei's fault for being here, but through her best friend's silence and stiff posture, Minako was left feeling like the guilty one. She grabbed Rei’s hand and for a moment the priestess let her hold it, but then she pulled it away.
"You can't erase this," Minako said quietly, hoping that it would be true.
Rei didn't speak. She wanted to say she was sorry. She wanted to confess things, but her throat wasn’t working. Her heart wasn’t working.
"It's something. You can't just keep on telling me it's nothing. That is what you would say, isn't it?" Minako whispered, her voice cracking in the still darkness around them.
Rei turned, and put both of her feet flat on the floor. Minako cursed under her breath. Rei's pulse was quick in her ears and still her breathing was labored and shallow, like she had just gone running a few miles. She felt the hot throbbing desire in the depths of her belly and she knew she could not lie about this only seconds after it had all happened to the two of them. Minako reached out and slid her arm around Rei’s waist and Rei let herself lean back, closing her eyes and indulging in the delicious smell, the comfort, the familiarity of their friendship—their—relationship?
Rei was tired. She was always tired.
"It was not nothing," the priestess confessed simply.
It was more.
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