Not Very Funny!

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by S.C.Leifoh

The scene would have been positively funny had it not been so serious. 

When Haruka walked into Michiru's dressing room after her concert, she 
had not expected her to have had company. With Usagi clinging to her 
like a bad cold, it made it all the more worse.

She hadn't been too happy with Michiru giving the joint concert with 
the Three Lights; she hadn't minded.. but it was.. HIM.. she had 
worried about.

Who she was presently glaring at with a look that could melt a snowman 
into nothing.

" We meet again." smiled Seiya, his eyes narrowed suggestively as he 
kept an arm around the green-haired girl's waist. 

Michiru looked relatively comfortable with the whole situation, and 
Haruka knocked a very bad urge to hit her upside around the head. The 
girl was getting horribly 'distracted' these days.

"Haruka dear.. Seiya-san wanted to know if we could join him for 
dinner.."

"We have other plans. " Haruka answered almost abrubtly, her fists 
clenching.

Usagi, being the oblivious dolt that she was ,only clung to Haruka's 
arm more and said, " But Haruka-chan! I'm HUNGRY!!!"

The sandy blond haired girl gave her a disapproving glance, then 
muttered, "If you want to , then go buy yourself a meal at Burger 
King."

She beamed. "Yea~aaaaaaah! Seiya, Seiya treat us!"

" If Haruka-san is busy.." smirked Seiya, flicking back his hair 
nonchalantly, "Then I could probably take Michiru-san myself. Why 
don't you go help her do whatever Haruka-san wants to do that will 
keep her busy, Odango?"

Usagi went red. "Don't call me that!!"

Seiya only laughed lightly -when Haruka suddenly strolled forward and 
clutched the boy's arm that was around Michiru's waist. He tried to 
move out of her grip, when Haruka's eyes narrowed and she clutched him 
by the wrist.

The both of them glared at each other with such fury that they could 
have probably burned each other out. The air around them was tense, 
until Haruka spoke in a low voice, "My business is with Michiru. You 
can leave us now."

Michiru had probably realised by now what had caused Haruka to behave 
this way, because she said, " Some other time then, Seiya-san."

Almost immediately, Seiya jerked his hand free of Haruka's iron clutch 
and gave her a lazy yet dark look.

" Indeed.. some other time." he spoke as if speculating something. 
Then turning to Michiru and bowing exaggeratedly, he smiled. " 'Twas a 
pleasure performing with you Milady. I do wish I have the honor once 
again!"

"Just leave, please!" hissed Haruka irritatedly, and the dark haired 
boy just smirked and winked at her before strolling out, calling over 
his shoulder. "I owe ya one!"

Usagi chased after him. "Seiya!!! Burger King!!!!!!!"

The room was uncomfortably silent after that. Michiru smiled very 
smugly at her girlfriend and stepped close to her, placing a hand on 
her chest. "Jealous?"

Haruka sniffed. "Of what?" She looked down at her lover with 
disapproval. "You've been getting pretty open with that guy."

Michiru smiled, her eyes low-lidded seductively as she placed her head 
under Haruka's neck and slid her arms around her waist. " I love it 
when you're angry with me. You look so sexy."

Haruka felt herself sigh as she slid her hands over Michiru's arms, 
just as the shorter girl whispered, "Want to help me ..undress..?"

"No."

Michiru blinked as Haruka gripped her arms and tugged them off her. 
She looked down coldly at her and said, " I'm sure you're fully 
capable of undressing yourself. In private." she added the last words 
with a sneer, to which the girl replied, "I was only teasing.."

"I'm sure you were. "snapped Haruka, her eyes flaring. She spun on her 
heels and strolled out of the room , leaving a very bemused Michiru.

As she left the studio grounds, Haruka found her mind spinning with 
anger. 

She wasn't true to herself or Michiru.. probably the only reason she 
had been with Michiru was because she wanted the Outer Senshi to stick 
together.. as per Pluto's predictions..

She walked outside, the cool night air circling her slender body in 
it's entirety. She wondered if Michiru would ever realise the feeling 
she had towards that bratty Seiya..

From the moment she had met him.. from the moment he had started 
throwing himself over those she cared for, or thought she cared for..

She had wanted Seiya Kou so badly.

Then, there was the appearance of those three Sailor Starlights.. how 
convenient they showed up just when the Three Lights had attained a 
high level of popularity in this country. 

How convenient that Sailor Star Fighter resembled Seiya completely, 
except for being a girl..

Haruka sighed as she walked to her car and got in it, starting it. She 
was quiet as she drove home. 

Until, ofcourse, her mobile phone rang.

" Harukaaaaaa!!!!!!" wailed Usagi's shrill voice. " Seiya abandoned me 
at Burger King!!!!!!"

Haruka almost dropped out of frustration. ".......which Burger King, 
Usagi?"

"The one next to my place...WAAAAAH!"

"What am *I* supposed to do about it? Walk home." Haruka realised she 
was not being herself at all, but she couldn't stop herself from being 
rude to Sailor Moon. 

Her mind in turmoil, she knew what she had to do.

She punched the car into gear and sped to the Lights' personal 
residence.

~******~

" She's inside." Yaten motioned to a closed bedroom door, and Haruka 
blinked. Maybe it had been a slip of tongue.

"Thanks.." Haruka replied uncertainly as she walked to Seiya's 
bedroom. She pulled it open without knocking, only to gasp.

Seiya was on the bed strumming on his guitar- wearing a loose crop top 
and shorts- except he had seemed to spurt horribly prominent breasts.

When Haruka entered, he- She looked up and grinned as if she had been 
expecting her.

" I was waiting for you." spoke Seiya, and Haruka noticed the slight 
feminine tinge to the voice.

Haruka was too dumbstruck to react, when Seiya slid off the bed and 
walked by the taller Senshi, closing the door. 

"How.." gasped Haruka, unable to keep the shock out of her voice, when 
Seiya cut in.

"I can answer anything that begins with 'how'. 'How did you grow 
breasts, Seiya?' ..I happen to be a girl. ' How did you know I was 
going to be here?' ..I usually act pretty bitchy myself when I'm 
horny."

The taller girl's blue eyes glazed over with realisation and she 
whispered, "So you ARE Sailor Star Fighter.."

Seiya laughed, placing a hand on her now-curvaceous hip. "That didn't 
take too long to discover, did it? Sorry to scare you."

Haruka felt herself slump in a chair behind her, and she buried her 
face in her hands. " I don't know why I came.. I keep.. I keep saying 
that I want myself to hate you, that you're a brat.."

Seiya looked at her with a cool smile as the blond senshi snapped her 
gaze up at her. 

"You've been on my mind from the day I met you!. I don't know what 
you've done to me, Seiya Kou, but I.. I just want you to stop it.."

Seiya kneeled by Haruka and touched her hand very smugly. " You're 
just fascinated. I'm sure you saw through me before any of the others 
could. " She had a very amused look in her eyes now.

Haruka watched the girl with questioning. " I hate you.." she 
whispered to her.

Seiya smirked and got to her feet, walking to the bed and sprawling 
herself luxurously over the sheets. "I'm sure you do."

"God.." Haruka sighed in frustration, gripping her temples. " You're 
always flirting with Michiru and Usagi.. Why can't you .."

"Just get to the point..?" Seiya finished for her, turning her head 
towards her , a hand dangling over the side of her body very 
suggestively over her crotch.

Haruka looked up at her, her eyes wet, but her look intent. She got 
out of the chair and walked towards Seiya's bed, seating herself on 
it. Seiya only smiled and extending her arms, she slid them around 
Haruka's shoulders and pulled her over herself into a deep, rapacious 
kiss.

Haruka did what had caused her instincts to make her end up in this 
situation, and slid her arms around the shorter girl, her eyes closing 
with rapt passion as she extended their kiss, battling the other for 
dominance in her warm mouth.

'..Seiya......... I..hate you..
......... for making me love you.. '

~********~

Haruka gasped for breath when she pulled away, but Seiya chuckled and 
lay back down on the bed, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Hey.." she whispered softly, just as Haruka positioned herself right 
above the dark-haired girl. "You seem pretty experienced."

Haruka rolled her eyes but a small smile played on her lips as she 
slid her hands down the shorter girl's arms, settling her hands in her 
palms. Then slowly leaning down ,her soft sandy bangs hanging sexilly 
over her forehead, she gently traced the outline of Seiya's lips with 
her tongue. Seiya arched her head slightly and extended her own tongue 
, feeling the sweet taste of Haruka's saliva. Slowly, Haruka moved her 
head lower, dragging her tongue over Seiya's soft skin, her hands now 
caressing upwards ,then over the dark haired girl's waist- under her 
shirt.

A short groan escaped Seiya's lips as she arched her back, as Haruka 
stroked her shivering body with gentle caresses. Very carefully, she 
helped Seiya slide out of her top, while Seiya helped her undo her 
shirt buttons, sitting up as she did so. When she pulled off the Outer 
Senshi's shirt, she teasingly ran her hands over that absolutely 
*adorable* silk lace bra, fingering the soft moulds of her breasts 
that could be seen.

Haruka quivered in delight, and allowed Seiya to move closer, letting 
the girl bury her face in the side of her neck where she gave it a 
tempting little bite. Haruka gasped, and grinning, Seiya undid her bra 
from behind and slowly slid it off. 

"Beautiful Haruka-san.." Seiya whispered in a playful voice. She 
chuckled and clutched the taller girl's jeans, unzipping them and 
pulling them down, while the other girl set about sliding down her 
partner's shorts. 

Their bodies bare, and warm despite the cool temperature of the room, 
Haruka hungrily shoved her slender body over the other's, feeling 
their chests crush together in that heated frenzy, Seiya gasped for 
breath, quickly sliding a hand down to Haruka's sex and cupping it 
with her fingers, causing the blond to gasp and shudder in delight.

"Seiya!.. don't ..tease.." she sighed, wrapping her arms around the 
other girl's shoulders. Seiya felt the soft mound of light downy hair 
between her thighs, and gave it a teasing tug. A groan escaped 
Haruka's lips as she squirmed against that amazing touch, and she bent 
her head over the other girl's breasts, taking the nipples between her 
lips, dragging her teeth over their hardening exterior with gentle 
bites. Now it was Seiya who was moaning, and she dragged her hand over 
the taller senshi's waist, shoving her index finger into her 
bellybutton.

Almost at once the taller senshi squealed, and Seiya laughed aloud, 
only to gasp again when Haruka's hands clutched her waist and she bit 
her on the soft pink mounds of flesh above her nipples. Seiya felt her 
world go dizzy as she hungrilly ran her hands through Haruka's hair, 
sliding them over her shoulders, and the taller senshi lowered herself 
until she was at the dark haired girl's crotch.

"My.. it seems our dear Seiya-san likes taking rose bubble baths." she 
breathed against the top of her opening, and Seiya convulsed quickly 
as Haruka pressed her nails against that sensitive little button of 
her clit. 

" ..Don't let that out or...I'll be a laughingstock.." she sighed, 
waiting eagerly.

Haruka smirked and slid her hands over the girl's slender thighs, 
gripping them as she lowered her head to her opening, and slowly drew 
out her tongue to lick at the linings of her inner lips. The sweet 
taste of her excretions greeted her with a familiar spice and she 
darted her tongue in deeper, shoving her head against the soft 
womanhood which was covered with very fine, light black hair.

Seiya's groans grew louder, even more so after a while of teasing 
playing around when Haruka decided to be painful and wet her index 
finger, then her middle finger and shoved them inside the heated girl 
before she could protest. 

She cried out, and Haruka gently dragged her middle finger out of her 
body, then back in, wriggling them inside the warm confinements of the 
girl's sex.

"Haru...Haruka!!!!" she cried, her body wet and slick with sweat. She 
wondered if Haruka realised it..

Too late, Seiya felt her lower body convulse and release all it's 
excretions that she had hopelessly tried to withold.

By the time Haruka noticed the blood on her fingers, Seiya had already 
lost herself in her tears..

~********~

-- A few hours later into the night--

Seiya was shivering. Pulling the large comforter over their naked 
bodies, Haruka slid her arms around the girl's waist , she gently 
kissed her forehead.

"Why didn't you tell me you were still a virgin..? I..I would have 
been gentle.." she whispered.

"That's the.. first time I'd ever done it in my female form.. I didn't 
realise.." gasped Seiya, pulling her legs tightly together. Haruka bit 
her lip and let the dark haired girl rest her head under her chin.

"You're not being funny.." she whispered to her new lover.

"I wasn't intending to be." the soft reply came. Then, hesitation.

"Haruka..?"

"Mm?"

".. I hate you, you know.."

*..for making me fall in love with you...*

"I know." Haruka smiled comfortably as she let her eyes fall into 
their drowsy slumber.

Seiya smiled. "Next time.. *I'll* do it to you as a man!"

"No, you're gonna be a BOY." countered Haruka, grinning, only to get 
her nipples pinched and she gasped, shivering.

Seiya nuzzled against her until she was comfortable, careful to keep 
her hand over her changing lowerside.

She decided she'd still love Haruka in the morning.

Haruka chuckled softly and touched the other being's changing chest, 
and whispered to her,"..It'll be MY first time with a man, y'know..". 
Michiru would probably need a new girlfriend now. Now that Haruka 
finally knew who she would really be true to.

"Good.. " whispered Seiya, and buried her face in her chest, letting 
herself fly to the land of dreams with her new lady love.

So, the stick-up-her-ass turned out to be pretty good after all..

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