Kino Makoto. I never knew. I mean, it's obvious to me now but back then I had no idea. It must have been so hard for her. I don't blame her for what happened between us. I only hope she doesn't dwell on it. I've tried not to think about it or let it change our relationship. Now that I've thought about it I understand, it must have been so hard for her all alone. --Mizuno Ami -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Affirmation It had been twelve days since Makoto had cried herself to sleep in Ami's arms. Neither of them had spoken about the incident since. Ami had been true to her word and not told anyone, though whenever Makoto looked Ami in the eyes she could see that Ami wanted to talk to her about it. For her part, Makoto went about her business like nothing had happened. She was a marvelous actress. Only Ami noticed the strain in Makoto's voice or the distance in her eyes. They hadn't spent any time alone since that night. Ami wondered if Makoto was intentionally avoiding being alone with her. This was indeed the case. Makoto had been unsure of herself since that night. Her confidence was gone, and until she got it back she didn't want to deal with what being alone with Ami would bring up. However, fate intervened on Ami's side one afternoon when Makoto was trapped into walking home with Ami. "Mako-chan, we need to talk." Ami said as they walked away from their school. "Ami," began Makoto, "I know that we can't ignore what happened. You were there just as I was, but I don't think now is the time." "Well when?" Demanded Ami, her voice suddenly stern and commanding. "When will be the time? A month? A year? I still don't even know what happened Makoto. Can't you at least explain it to me? Don't you trust me?" Ami's words stung Makoto and she stopped walking. She lowered her head and a few errant strands of her brown hair fell across her face. Ami stopped and turned to her friend. "Ami, It's not that I don't trust you. I do. I just..." Makoto's voice trailed off and she shut her eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill out. She looked up when she felt Ami's hand on her shoulder. She stared into her friends eyes and a warmth filled her chest and spread out across her body. She smiled despite herself. Ami smiled in return and gave Makoto a short hug. Ami stepped away from Makoto and began walking down the side walk again. Makoto stood for a moment and watched her friend walk away. The warmth in her chest had spread all across her body and a strange new feeling slipped into her mind. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. A very long time. Security. Trust. Love. "Love?" Makoto thought to herself. "I don't know, maybe, she makes me feel like she really cares for me. Like she'd never hurt me or let anything happen to me. Love?" Makoto thought as she caught up to her friend. "Are you ready to talk?" Asked Ami without looking back. "I..I think so." Said Makoto as she tried to drown the distracting throughts that swam through her mind. "So talk." Said Ami simply. Makoto winced, but knew that Ami was not angry. She was simply trying to provide some incentive for Makoto to talk. If Makoto spoke, Ami would speak. If Makoto remained silent, so would Ami. Makoto didn't like being bullied, but in this situation she new that she needed to be bullied. "Not here," said Makoto as the walked, "let's go to my place." Ami nodded slightly and the two walked in silence to Makoto's apartment. As they walked Makoto tried not to look at Ami. Every time she did that warm feeling came back as did the word. Love. 'Love, I remember this feeling.' Thought Makoto. 'Mother, father, they loved me. I loved them too. It's been so long now. Ami. She loves me? If she didn't why would she do this? Why would she push me so hard to open up is she didn't love me? Her pressure makes me feel safe, comforted. Do I love her?' As these thoughts consumed Makoto's mind Ami noticed that Makoto had walked right past her apartment building. "Makoto." Said Ami as she touched the taller girls shoulder lightly. Makoto turned around and looked at Ami with a questioning gaze. Ami pointed to the apartment building and Makoto blushed slightly before entering. They walked up to Makoto's apartment and Makoto let them in. "Do want anything from the kitchen?" Asked Makoto. Ami just stared at her. Makoto turned away from the gaze and sat down in the living room. Ami sat across from her and waited. "My parents are dead." Said Makoto simply, trying not to let the strain show. Ami said nothing but her eyes urged Makoto to continue. "They..." her voice hitched in her throat as she struggled to maintain her composure, "they died in a plane crash." Her body was visibly shaking now, her voice was wavering and tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. Ami held herself back from comforting her friend. She could not move until Makoto had said everything. "They said they were coming home." A single tear traced down Makoto's cheek. Ami remained still. "They were coming home." Makoto's eyes shut tight and her lower lip began to quiver slightly. "I've been alone since then. Until I met you and the others I thought I would always be alone." She wiped the tear from her cheek and coughed into her hand. She looked up at Ami and saw her compassionate eyes staring back into her. Ami looked into Makoto's tear strained eyes, barely able to contain the tears in her own. Those large green eyes tinted red by strain, darkened by the pain of a past never confronted. She wanted to speak. No words came to mind, now was not the time for talk. For once in her life Ami relinquished her minds intellectual view of the world and saw only emotion. Before her stood the strongest person she knew weakened and barely maintaining composure. Abandoning every rational thought in her brain Ami moved across the room and wrapped her arms around Makoto's waist. Makoto stood stock still. Her arms lay limply at her sides. Slowly she tilted her head down and looked at Ami. Ami's face was buried in Makoto's chest and she could feel the slight moisture of tears soaking through her blouse. Slowly her hands came up to embrace the smaller girl. Her right hand wrapped around and held her back while the left gently lay against Ami's head. She tilted her head down and turned her cheek to the side, letting her head rest on a pillow of blue hair. Emotions rent open and her friends compassion conspired to draw the tears from her eyes in two steady streams. They stood there for what seemed like hours. The two friends held each other tightly, each releasing their emotions into the other. For a time the acted like two sponges, constantly releasing their flow while at the same time drawing in the others release. Makoto lifted her head when she felt a stinging in her eye from the salt she'd wept into Ami's hair. She looked down to see that Ami's normally blue hair was soaked black with tears where her head had lain. She moved her hand away from Ami's head and brushed her hand through the blue field, trying vainly to straighten it out. Ami looked up after Makoto finished. "Thanks Mako-chan, sorry about your blouse." She said gesturing to Makoto's soaked shirt. "Don't worry Ami-chan," said Makoto with a slight smile, "what you gave me today is worth far more than any blouse." Ami smiled at this and hugged Makoto again. "You don't need to be sad any more Mako-chan." Said Ami softly. Makoto didn't respond, but instead returned the embrace with a hug that nearly crushed her smaller friend. Her emotions were more strained than she could ever remember. A mixture of pain, relief, fear, joy, and love welled up in her. She pulled away slightly and looked down at Ami. She reached under her chin and turned the other girls face up towards hers. When Makoto caught sight of the look in her eyes something within her snapped. Wave after wave of crushing emotion washed over her. Her eyes shut tight against the tears that threatened to spill. Ami's eyes...Makoto could see it there. Love. Shivering slightly, Makoto spoke. "Ami-chan...I...I love you." She said softly, not opening her eyes. "Mako-chan, I love you too." Came the reply. Makoto's eyes cracked open and saw Ami's smiling face beaming up at her. 'She loves me...' She thought, 'She really loves me. Love...' Her thoughts went on like that, but her actions belied any thought. Moving on instinct she tilted Ami's face more towards her, leaned down, and kissed her.
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