Melodies of Life
The song is ‘Melodies of Life’, a beautiful song from Final
Fantasy 9 sung by Emiko Shiratori and written by Nobuo Uematsu.
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~Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain
Melodies of life--love's lost refrain~
Why did you have to leave me? I loved you so much. I still do.
That’s why it still hurts so badly whenever I think about you. My mom
says I’ve been growing distant, that I’m always lost in thought. That
can’t be good for the next Queen of Crystal Tokyo. But I can’t help it,
Hotaru. I miss you. When I close my eyes, I can still see that shy
smile of yours, hear your soft voice calling me. I’ll always love you,
even if we can’t be together. Why wouldn’t you let me come with you?
Maybe I could have helped. And even if I couldn’t, at least we would
have died together. You told me when you had grown up again that it was
to fight alongside me. Why couldn’t I fight alongside you then? I know
you wanted to protect me, but it hurts so much without you. It’s so
hard to keep going. But every time I falter, every time I fall, I can
feel you there with me, helping me make it through.
~Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold~
You were always so sad, Hotaru. Just lurking under the surface,
like you could never completely escape it. Even when I could lure that
smile out of you or hear your laugh, it was still there. I could never
completely cure that sadness inside of you. I told you that we’d be
together forever and you smiled a little sadly and didn’t say anything.
I always wondered why you looked on the dark side of things so often,
but I was determined to show you that things could work out. That you
could have a happy ending. But now as I look back on it all, was I just
naïve? Did you know all along that it would come to this? All the
dreams we had shared will never take place now. All the promises I had
made of our beautiful future together. I wanted to keep them so dearly,
Hotaru. And I’d probably promise you them all over again if you were
here, even after all that’s happened.
~In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me
Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name~
Looking around feverishly, I find myself once again in my bed.
Looking next to me, I almost expect to see you there, asleep after a
passion filled night, or maybe just reading a book as you watched me
dozing. Your beautiful pale body seemed to shine in the moonlight,
though I needed no such prompting to go to you. I swear I can hear your
voice sometimes, even though Diana says she doesn’t hear anything.
Careful not to wake my guardian cat, I sneak outside to the balcony.
Its cold out, but I don’t care. Not anymore. I remember when I used to
find you out here late at night, staring at the stars. I’d ask you to
come back inside but you’d always say you weren’t tired. I would go
back in for a few seconds and come back with a blanket for the two of
us to share. Sometimes I’d ask what it was and other times you’d look
like you didn’t want to talk about it. But it didn’t matter because we
were together. Is that what you were trying to teach me whenever I’d
feel bad about not being able to fix things for you and you’d tell me
that wasn’t what was important? I hug myself tighter as the cold starts
to set in. I don’t want to go back inside now. Not yet.
~A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding up the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond~
When I look back on things, it seems like a blur sometimes. When
we first met, when I saw you smile for the first time, when you
returned to me, when we first kissed, when we would share our hopes and
dreams in each other’s arms, when I saw you for the last time with that
determined look on your face... I’m crying again, I realize. I should
hide it before mother sees, but I can’t find the will. She wants me to
be strong, to work my way through this, but I’m not as strong as you.
You suffered through so much, Hotaru. You took it all and yet you
continued on. You would never admit it. You never saw the strength in
yourself that I always saw in you.
~So far and away, see the bird as it flies by
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky
I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings~
Sometime later, I find myself sitting barefoot on the hill where
I spent so much time as a child, leaning against an old tree that has
grown there. Here I can lose myself in my memories and forget all
that’s happened. The birds are beautiful, Hotaru, but not as beautiful
as the fireflies. Sometimes I’ll come out late at night and watch them.
Sometimes I even think I see you amongst them, carefree and happy at
last. It may last for just a split second out of the corner of my eye,
but that sight alone gives me the strength I need to push forward. I
know I can’t have you back, but sometimes its nice to pretend, ne? I
smile a little as I watch the city in the distance. I don’t know what
lies ahead of me, but I promise I’ll always remember you, that I’ll
always love you.
~In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?
Was it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?~
I’ve lost you so many times. I had thought that this time would
be no different, that we’d find ourselves in the other’s arms before it
was through. But it didn’t work out that way. It was such a cruel trick
fate played, letting me fall in love with you before snatching you away
from me. But I would do it all over again if I had the choice. It was
so painful, but the joy you made me feel was worth so much more. I know
we’ll be together again. Because... because I know that you love me,
too.
~A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding up the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond~
“ChibiUsa-chan..?”
I hear a soft voice whisper behind me, ripping me from my
thoughts. That voice... My heart starts beating furiously as I sit up
on my knees. It’s almost impossible to breath as I struggle to turn
around quickly enough. It’s.. you... Standing up, I almost fall back
down again. My vision blurs as tears start to form in my eyes. “Hotaru-
chan?” I ask weakly as I stumble towards you. You merely smile, dark
eyes shining with the inner beauty that made me fall in love with you
in the first place. I throw myself into her arms, you stagger back
under my assault. Sobs wrack my body as I hold onto you tightly. I’ve
missed you so much. There’s been so much I wanted to tell you, but
words escape me right now. I want to hold on to you for eternity, to
never let go again. I can feel your fingers brushing through my hair
and I feel myself sobbing more uncontrollably at the memories. Looking
up, I see tears in your own dark eyes. Oh, Hotaru...
~If I should leave this lonely world behind
Your voice will still remember our melody
Now I know we'll carry on
Melodies of life
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts
As long as we remember~
I want to hear you promise me that we’ll always be together, that you’ll
never leave my side again, but its enough for me just to have you here with
me now. I know that this time we don’t need promises like that. Because
this time I know that we’ll always be together, even if one of us dies.
Because you were with me through every step I took while you were gone.
Just as I’d be there with you. But I’m so glad to have you here like this
nonetheless. Clutching onto you tighter, I bury my face against your shoulder.
Your answer to all of my unasked questions sends a warm spark through
my body as your lips press against my own. I feel myself kissing back with
all the strength I can muster as the tension from the past few years drains
away from me in the space of seconds. I feel alive again in your arms. Truly alive.
“How..?” I ask softly. You just smile again and kiss me softly. “I love you,
ChibiUsa-chan.” I love you, too, Hotaru. And I always will.
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