-Editorial- "Ladies and gentleman," a tired voice said, "Boys and girls, children of all ages, for the (mercifully) last time, in the interest of equal time, we offer the following rebuttal to the series Mamoru Must Die." A young brunette stood in front of the familiar curtain background on a stage as she looked angrily out at the audience, "Hello," she said, "My name's Osaka Naru. Long time fans of Sailor Moon will no doubt remember me as Usagi's childhood friend who had a prominent role in the first season. My role was cut back and back however as the seasons went by, until eventually my boyfriend Gurio and I only appeared in one episode of Sailor Moon S." "Which brings me to why I'm here," Naru continued, "Gurio and I, arguably Usagi's closest friends in her youth, have had only one appearance in this stupid fanfic series. The same goes for poor Yuuichirou Kumada, the young man who had a crush on Rei in the series and worked for her grandfather as a shrine attendant. And of course there's Haruna Sakurada, Usagi's old school teacher, who never even made it into this series." "Meanwhile," she said as her voice began to rise, "You've got cameos of everyone from Speed Racer and the cast of Samurai Champloo to multi-chapter crossovers with the cast from Noir, Ah! My Goddess and Revolutionary Girl Utena. I mean, I'm sorry, but what the hell?" she asked angrily, "And Sappho. What in the world does a Classical Greek poet have to do with Sailor Moon? I mean, she's not even an anime character for crying out loud! I..." the young woman stopped when she saw two women walk in from off stage and stand next to her. "Naru," Michiru said, wearing a beautiful pink bridesmaid dress, "We completely understand your point, honestly we do, but you're holding up the last omake." "Right," Haruka nodded, looking handsome in her tux, "Look, no offence, but once this stupid story's over Michi and I can finally get out of our contracts and go back to starring in quality stories by authors like Saun. So if you could hurry this up a bit..." "Wha... No, I'm not going to hurry this just for you two!" Naru said, "I'm..." she was cut off once again as yet another figure came out on stage, this one wearing a wedding dress. "Naru-chan," Ami began, her left eye twitching a bit as she put her hand on the woman's shoulder, "I'm normally a very cute, introverted, shy type of girl, but if you don't shut up and leave so I can marry my sweetheart Mako-chan, I'm going to knock your teeth down your throat!" she threatened as she waved a fist in front of Naru's face. "You... I... You do and I'll have you arrested!" the brunette responded. "I don't care," Ami said menacingly as she narrowed her eyes with a smile, "I might end up in jail, but you'll still be left with no teeth." Naru blinked at that. She then turned and ran off. "Wow," Michiru said, visibly impressed. "I didn't know you had it in you," Haruka added. "It just goes to show; never screw with a woman on her wedding date," Ami said, turning to smile out at the audience, "And now, ladies and gentleman, the last omake. Enjoy." ------ -Prologue- Makoto began to pace nervously in the small dressing room, her beautiful white wedding gown and veil rustling as the nervous young woman waited for the ceremony to begin. "Mako-chan, calm down," Usagi pleaded with her, "Everything will go off without a hitch, you'll see." "But where is she?" the tall brunette asked anxiously, "The wedding will start soon and..." "I'm sorry I'm so late," Michiru said as she rushed into the room followed by Haruka who was carrying a large suitcase into the room, "We got slowed down by the editorial," she explained apologetically as Haruka hefted the heavy suitcase up onto a nearby table with a groan. As Michiru made Makoto sit down, Haruka opened the case to reveal that it was filled to overflowing with cosmetics. "Michi-chan," Makoto said, "You didn't have to bring all that. You could've just brought over a small travel makeup case." "Actually," Haruka said with a smile, "This IS her small travel makeup case." While Michiru began to help Makoto with her makeup, in another part of the Shinto shrine complex... ...... "There," Minako said as she and Setsuna finished with Ami's hair and Makeup. Rei and Mamoru came into the room. "So," Rei said as she smiled down on her friend admiring her wedding dress, "You ready?" "As I'm ever going to be," she said nervously, "Um, Setsuna? I know that technically you're not allowed to reveal the future to us, but..." The Time Senshi grinned, "The two of you will live happily ever after," she said cheerfully. Ami grinned as much of her fear disappeared with that bit of good news. "I'm very happy for both you and Makoto," Mamoru said, "I only hope when Usagi and I marry she'll look as cute as you do right now." Ami blushed adorably at the complement, while Rei looked a bit melancholy at the reminder that Usagi was engaged to Mamoru. Before she could dwell on her thoughts too long, however, Chibi Usa and Hotaru came into the room. "Your grandfather says he's ready to marry your friends anytime they're ready," Chibi Usa reported. "Yeah," Hotaru said, adding, "He then pinched my butt." "That's your grandfather," Minako said. "Right," Rei said, "You two go and check up on the other bride then." "Okay," Chibi Usa said enthusiastically as she turned to her fellow flower girl, "I'll race you." "You're on!" Hotaru said as both she and her pink-haired girlfriend ran off in their high heels for Makoto's dressing room. ....... "Okay, almost done," Michiru said as she applied the makeup to Makoto's face with the intensity of a surgeon performing an appendectomy. "Wow," Usagi murmured, "Michiru is really passionate when it comes to cosmetics, huh?" "You should see it when I try to get her to go see a movie," Haruka quipped out of the corner of her mouth, "sometimes the movie itself is shorter than the time it takes for her to get ready to leave the house. I..." "I heard that," Michiru said, "You must really love that cold, lonely couch in the living room you're going to be sleeping on for the next week... Ah, finished," she said as she stepped back to admire her work. Both Usagi and Haruka's eyes widened as they looked at the now ravishing-looking Senshi of Lightning, "Oh, Mako-chan," Usagi gasped, "You're beautiful." "It... It's a masterpiece," Haruka whispered. "Really?" Makoto asked, "Do you think Ami will like it?" "Are you kidding?" Michiru asked with a smile, "You're devastating," she said as she passed a mirror to the appreciative bride-to-be. "I'll go tell the others you're ready," Usagi said as she went to the door. Before she could open it, however, it was flung open violently by the cheerful Hotaru and Chibi Usa. WHACK! "Ami's ready!" Chibi Usa said breathlessly, "We... Usagi?" "Usagi!" Haruka shouted as she and the others ran to their friend and future queen. The blonde was lying on the floor, knocked out cold by the door that slammed into her head. ------ Usagi opened her eyes, feeling the sore spot on her forehead. As she looked around, she saw that there was no one else in the room with her. "Hello?" she called out. "There you are!" Luna cried as she ran into the room. Usagi went to stand up, but felt dizzy. "What's happening?" the blonde asked, "It feels like the room's spinning around." "That's because it is." "What?" "The wedding was called on account of a tornado warning. Everyone else made it into a nearby shelter, but by the time I found you in here it was too late." "You mean..." Usagi gasped as she ran to a nearby window to look outside. Sure enough, the shrine she was in was caught in the tornado, flying hundreds of feet above the earth. "AAAAAA!" Usagi shrieked as she crouched down on the ground, covering her ears as she closed her eyes. Very shortly thereafter, the building jerked to a stop. Usagi looked up nervously, and realized she and Luna must've landed. She picked up her cat guardian, and cautiously opened the door, her eyes widening and her jaw falling open as she took in her surroundings. "Luna," she gasped, "I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore..." ------ -Omake Thirty-Five: The Senshi of Oz- All around Usagi and Luna was a beautiful little city of bright colors and lovely houses. The land around them looked like something out of a fairy tale. As the blonde and her cat began to walk around and take in their surroundings, a large portal in space and time opened up, revealing a stunningly attractive woman in a tight pink dress that showed off plenty of leg. Her long, dark-green hair hung down her back, and she had a large crown on top of her head, while in her hand she held a large staff with a garnet orb at the top of it. She smiled over at Usagi and Luna. "Hello," she said, "I'm the Good Witch of the North. Who are you?" "I... I'm Usagi, ma'am," the blonde said nervously, "And this is Luna." "Hello," Luna replied, "Maybe you can tell me and my pet girl Usagi how to get back to Tokyo?" " Tokyo?" the good witch asked, "I've never heard of the place. Tell me though," she asked the blonde, "Are you a hero or a villain?" Usagi looked at her strangely, "What do you mean?" "Well, your house landed on and killed the Wicked Jackass of the East," she replied as she pointed to a pair of legs wearing ruby red walking sneakers sticking out from under the shrine, "So the villagers wish to know if it was an accident, or if you're planning on dropping any more houses here and building up a neighborhood on their crushed and bloody remains." "Wha..." Luna interrupted, "Certainly not! It was an accident!" "Phew, that was a lucky break," the Witch muttered, "Okay everyone," she called out, "It's safe!" All at once, men and women in fantastical costumes began to come out of hiding. "I'm Mayor Hotaru. My girlfriend," she said as she motioned to the pink-haired young girl next to her, "And I want to thank you for crushing the Wicked Jackass like that." Usagi bowed to the two youth, and was about to say something, when loud hip-hop music began to blare and three gold-chain wearing hoodlums came forward carrying large round lollipops. ...... Yo, Yo, We represent da Lollipop guild, G, You killed the jackass, so thanks from us three, Now take my lollipop and stick it on in your mouth, Suck on it bitch and... ...... "HEY!" the Good Witch interrupted. She then turned to Usagi with a nervous smile, "Sorry about that, the Lollipop Guild tend to get a bit rowdy when something like this happens," she offered as she gave the three thugs in question a scathing look. Suddenly, a loud explosion shook the ground. As the villagers all ran for cover, a nasty looking green-skinned man in a tuxedo appeared wearing a mask over his eyes and a top hat. He came forward clutching a cane. "Good Witch of the North," Usagi asked fearfully, "Who's that?" "That's the Wicked Jackass of the West," the Good Witch explained. "Alright," the Wicked Jackass of the West yelled, "Who killed the Jackass of the East?" Usagi swallowed hard, "I... I guess I did," she stammered out as she held Luna close. "Why you..." the Jackass growled, "No matter; he was a prick anyways. I'll just take those ruby red walking sneakers and..." he stopped as he saw the sneakers disappear of the feet sticking out from under the shrine, "The sneakers! Where are the sneakers?" "Silly Jackass," the Good Witch taunted, "They're now on the feet of the one who killed their previous owner," she explained as she pointed to Usagi who was now wearing them, "Now leave here, before someone drops a Japanese Shinto shrine complex on your head," she threatened, causing the Jackass to look up nervously. "Very well," he said angrily as he turned back to Usagi, "But just you wait. I'll get you my pretty, and your little cat too!" he threatened as he disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Oh no," Usagi said, "Now what do I do?" "Well," the Good Witch of the North said, "You'll have to go to seek the help of the Senshi of Oz. They both live in the crystal city. To get there, just follow the yellow brick road." Usagi did not find the idea of trekking across an unfamiliar land alone with an evil Jackass out to get her at all appealing. However, since it seemed she had little choice in the matter, she picked Luna up and, as the Lollipop guild began another lewd rap, she made her way away from the city and out into the unknown. Usagi and Luna walked down the yellow brick road for quite some time, eventually ending up in a corn field. They stopped when they got to a place where the road forked. "Oh great," Usagi whined, "Now where do we go?" "Don't look at me," Luna replied, "I've no idea." "Why don't you look at your map?" a voice asked. "Map?" Usagi asked, "I don't have a map, I... Wait a second, who said that?" "You don't have a map?" the voice asked, "You're hopeless! How could you start on a journey and not think to bring a map with you?" "Usagi," Luna said, "That scarecrow talked!" Usagi turned to see a female scarecrow hanging up on a post, her dark black hair falling freely down her back. "Well," Usagi said defensively, "I may be lost, but you don't have to be so grumpy about it." The scarecrow frowned, "I know," she said, "I wish I wasn't so grumpy all the time. I guess I just have too fiery a temper for my own good," she admitted sadly. Usagi felt a bit sorry for her. Then she had a wonderful idea, "Hey, I know! I'm going off to see the Senshi of Oz to get them to send me back home; maybe they can help you get some social skills." "Really?" the lovely scarecrow asked, "You think they would?" "Sure," the blonde said, "Come on." With that, she helped the scarecrow down off her pole, and they decided on a path to go down. A short while later, the two came upon a most unusual sight; a pair of tin woodswomen rusted in place. "Oil can," the taller and more muscular looking of the two muttered out. The scarecrow found an oil can nearby and loosened both girls' joints. "Thank you," the smaller one said, "We were stuck in place for such a long time." "Really?" Luna asked, "How did that happen?" "Well," the taller one explained, "We're in love, and we were searching for a land where two girls could get married, when it started to rain..." "And you got caught in the rain?" the Scarecrow asked, "That's silly; you two should've brought an umbrella." "Don't mind her," Usagi offered, "She's a grouch. Say, I have an idea. The Scarecrow and I are on our way to see the Senshi of Oz, so I can get home and she can get some social skills. Maybe the Senshi can help you two get married?" "Makes about as much sense as anything else so far in this spoof," Luna quipped. "Fourth wall," the Short Tinwoman reminded. "We'll come along," the Tall Tinwoman said, and soon they were off once again. In a short time, however, they found themselves entering a dark and frightening looking wood. "Gosh," Usagi muttered, "It sure is scary here." "Don't worry," the Scarecrow said, "You're the first friend I ever made. If anything happens, I'll protect you." Usagi looked over to the dark haired straw woman and smiled. It was funny, but the blonde almost thought that, if the Scarecrow were human, she might feel an attraction to her. "I'm a bit scared myself," the Short Tinwoman admitted. She then smiled gratefully as her love wrapped a protecting arm around her. Suddenly, the four stopped when they heard a rustling of the branches. The four women prepared for the worst as, without warning, a figure jumped out from behind a tree at them. "Hello there," the blonde wearing the oversized top hat and carrying a large teapot said to them, "Care for a cup of tea?" The travelers looked at the newcomer, then at each other, then at the newcomer again. "Minako," the Scarecrow said irritably, "What in the hell are you supposed to be?" "What do you mean?" the blonde asked, "I'm the Mad Hatter, I... Wait a second," she said as she took in the appearance of the others, "You... You mean we're not doing the whole Alice in Wonderland thing?" "No," Luna said, "Now go and get into the lioness costume quick before you ruin the whole story!" Minako ran off back behind the tree as the others sweat dropped. A few minutes later, a lioness appeared. "Roar!" she yelled. "Look everyone," Usagi cried, "It's a lioness!" "Yes," she said, "and you're in my woods!" "You mean, you live here all alone?" the Tall Tinwoman asked. "Don't you ever get lonely out here?" the Scarecrow asked. In response, the lioness started to cry, "You're right, I am lonely," she wept, "everyone else has someone special but me." "Aw, don't cry," Usagi said, "Look, we're all going to the Senshi of Oz to see if they can send Luna and me home, give the Scarecrow some social skills, and marry the Tin Woodswomen. Maybe they can help you find a date." "Really," the Lioness asked, "You really think so?" "Sure," the Short Tinwoman said, "Come on." And so, as they skipped the whole poppy field scene due to the author's laziness and finally reached the Crystal City, they proceeded to skip a bunch of other scenes, suddenly finding themselves in a large room staring at two gigantic and frightening heads floating above a pit of flames. "We are well aware of why the five of you are here," the Senshi with the long wavy hair declared. "We'll help you, but first you must complete a seemingly impossible task," the other Senshi, this one with shorter hair, explained. "You mean we have to defeat the giant frog men and save the ninth dimension?" the Lonely Lioness asked. "What? No, of course not!" the giant head with the short haircut said, "You have to go and steal the cane of the Wicked Jackass of the West." "Terrific," the Scarecrow grumbled. "Now go!" the two Senshi ordered. A short time later, the five friends and Luna were on their way to the castle of the Wicked Jackass of the West, unaware that he was following their every move via his ACME crystal ball. "So," he sneered overly dramatically, "They plan to steal my cane, eh?" he then turned to a group of youma that looked like flying monkeys, "Listen you bums," he ordered, "Stop flinging feces at each other and go kidnap that blonde and her cat!" ------ "You know," the Lonely Lioness griped as she itched her side a bit, "I wish this stupid costume wasn't so itchy." "You think you have it bad?" the Scarecrow replied, "This straw rubbing up against my skin is driving me crazy!" "Ourthfay allway," the Short Tinwoman murmured as Usagi looked up at the sky. "Look, what's that?" she asked nervously. "Quick," the Tall Tinwoman shouted, "Run!" Unfortunately it was already too late though, as they were surrounded by the monkey-like youma of the Jackass of the West. Usagi and Luna were both carried aloft screaming for help as their friends were fending off the youma, unable to help them. Finally, the attack ended as the youma left. "Okay," the Tall Tinwoman asked, "Is everyone alright?" "I think so," the Short Tinwoman said, "I... Oh no." "Scarecrow!" the Lioness cried as she ran to her friend who was currently in a state of disrepair, "What happened?" "What does it look like?" the Scarecrow asked crabbily, "First they took my legs and they threw them over there, then they took my arm and threw it over here..." "Wow," the Lioness replied, "You're a mess." "Never mind that," the Tall Tinwoman said as she and her partner began grabbing straw to re-stuff their friend, "Come on, we've got to fix her quick so we can go save Usagi!" ------ "Muwa ha, ha, ha!" the Wicked Jackass of the West laughed as Usagi and Luna cowered before him, "Now that I have you in my clutches, I'll take those ruby walking sneakers of yours," he said as he reached down for them, only to be zapped, "Ouch!" "I'm sorry," Usagi offered, "I..." "Shut up!" the Jackass growled, "I should've remembered; those sneakers will never come up, unless we marry! But that's not what troubles me; it's how to do it. These things must be done delicately... We'll need a blood test, a marriage license, a justice of the peace..." "Not so fast!" the Scarecrow yelled out as she and Usagi‘s other new friends rushed into the room, "You'll marry her over my dead body!" "Sounds good to me," the Jackass smirked as he grabbed a torch off the stone wall of his castle and touched it to the Scarecrow's arm. Usagi rushed to her aid by grabbing a nearby bucket of water and splashing both the Scarecrow's arm and the Wicked Jackass. "What th... Oh shit!" the Jackass yelled as he started to melt away, soon disappearing all together. "Quick," Luna said, "Grab his cane so we can get out of here!" The Tall Tinwoman quickly grabbed the cane, and they all ran off for the Crystal City. ------ "So," the wavy-haired Senshi of Oz asked from the midst of the flames, "You liquidated him, eh?" "Yes," Usagi said as she held the Jackass' cane up as proof, "Now the two of you keep your promise and..." "Not so fast!" the short-haired Senshi boomed, "I'm not in the mood to answer your requests today. Come back tomorrow!" she ordered as Luna noticed a small curtained-off room to the side of the Senshi's throne. Grabbing the curtain with her mouth, Luna pulled it aside to reveal a pair of young women making out. "Eep!" the aqua-haired one shrieked as she quickly grabbed the curtain and pulled it shut. "Pay no attention to the lesbian couple playing snugglebunnies behind the curtain." The giant Senshi's heads ordered, but to no avail. "Okay you two charlatans," the Tall Tinwoman yelled, "Get out of there before both the Scarecrow and I come in there and kick your asses!" At that, the two young women sheepishly exited the room as Usagi and her friends scowled angrily at them. "You're nothing but a pair of frauds!" the Lonely Lion growled. "You're right," the one in the dress admitted sadly. "You're both bad women," the Short Tinwoman said. "Oh no," the other one, dressed in a pair of trousers and a shirt and tie said, "We're both very good women, just bad Senshi." "Now how am I ever going to learn to be less grouchy?" the Scarecrow asked. "Is that all?" the aqua haired woman asked, "Well I can help you with that," she said as she passed her a book. "How To Win Friends And Influence People," the scarecrow said as she read the title out loud, "Wonderful, now I can learn to become more social." "And as for you two," the sandy-haired woman said to the Tin Woodswomen, "The two of you want to be married. You're in luck; since we've bamboozled the populace into somehow making the two of us the leaders of the government here in the Crystal City, and by the power vested in me by the said government of the Crystal City of Oz, I now declare you wife and wife," she said as she passed each of the overjoyed women marriage certificates. The ecstatic couple embraced, making a cute "Clink!" sound as they kissed. Meanwhile, the long-haired Senshi of Oz was just hanging up her cell phone as she turned to the Lonely Lioness, "And you," she said, "I understand you're lonely. Well, I just got off the phone with a single friend of mine whose also looking for someone." Before the Lioness could ask about what she meant, a portal in time and space opened, and the Good Witch of the North appeared. "Well, I'm here," she said, "Now what was so important that you just had to interrupt me in the middle of... Hello," she said with a smile as she looked at the pretty Lioness. "Hello," the Lioness said as she slinked over to the Good Witch. "Well," Usagi said, "That's all well and good for them, but how are Luna and I going to get home now?" "Simple," the Good Witch explained as she stroked the Lioness' cheek affectionately, "Just click your heals together and say, ‘There's no place like Tokyo.'" Usagi and Luna were overjoyed to hear they could now go back home. The blonde quickly hugged all her new friends, stopping momentarily when she got to the Scarecrow. "Scarecrow," she said tearfully as she hugged her, "I'm going to miss you most of all. I only hope when I get back home I can meet someone as wonderful as you." "Humph," a pink-haired woman nearby huffed to her purple-haired companion in the glasses standing next to her, "Our leaving to go back to the real world was way cooler than this lame-ass finale!" "There's no place like Tokyo," Usagi said, clicking her heels together and holding Luna as everything started to get blurry, "There's no place like Tokyo..." ------ "Look everyone," somebody said, "She's coming out of it." Usagi slowly opened her eyes to find herself lying safely in bed, surrounded by her fellow Senshi and Mamoru. "Uugh... What a weird dream," she said, "I dreamt I went to someplace called Oz, where I had to fight the Jackass of the West and..." "There, there," Mamoru said in a comforting tone as he put a hand on her shoulder, "Everything's alright now Serena." "Thanks, I... Serena?" the blonde asked, "Who is Serena?" "He, he, don't be silly Serena," Mamoru said as he looked at Usagi. The blonde, now realizing something wasn't quite right, quickly looked over to the other Senshi. "Makoto," she asked the tall young woman standing nearby, "What's going on? Why does Mamoru keep calling me Serena?" "Makoto?" she asked with a confused look, "Mamoru? Usagi? Serena, what are you going on about?" "Yeah," Mamoru said with a laugh, "Quit clowning around. You're Serena, I'm Darien, and she's Lita," he said as he pointed to Makoto. "Yeah," Minako added, "And I'm Mina, that's Raye, and that's Amy," she said as she pointed to Rei and Ami. Before Usagi could respond, a knock on the door announced the arrival of two more visitors, "Hey look everyone," Darien announced cheerfully, "It's everyone's favorite heterosexual cousins, Amara and Michelle." Usagi looked, but found herself only becoming even more confused when she saw Haruka and Michiru enter the room. "Be gentle Michelle," Raye whispered to Michiru, "She's having memory problems." "So," Lita said, "What have you two completely straight young ladies been up to lately?" "Oh, you know," Michelle said, "My cousin Amara and I have been boy watching over at the mall. We were hoping one of those cute guys that always hang out there might ask one of us out." "That's right," her sandy-haired cousin confirmed, "Yes, even though I look, sound and act butch, give flirtatious glances to other girls, and look manlier than Darien, there's nothing I like more than dating guys. Heck, there's just something about the thought of kissing a boy on the lips that makes me swoon." Usagi's jaw dropped, "Oh no," she gasped, "I didn't wake up. I'm still asleep, only now I'm in the middle of a nightmare!" she shrieked, "Wake me up!" she cried out as, once again, everything began to go fuzzy, "Somebody, wake me up..." ------ "Usagi-chan?" a familiar voice asked, "Usagi-chan?" The blonde opened her eyes slowly, finding herself in the warm arms of her friend Rei. The young woman looked ravishing in her bridesmaid dress, and Usagi found herself rather enjoying the feel of her arms around her. "Mmm... Am I awake?" Usagi asked. "Yes, Usagi-chan," Rei said. The blonde looked around her at the concerned faces, and eventually saw Makoto in her wedding dress, "Oh no!" she gasped, "I didn't miss your wedding did I Mako-chan?" "Of course not," Makoto reassured her, "Ami and I could never get married without you there, you know that." Usagi smiled warmly at that, "Then help me up," she said joyously, "We've got a wedding to get under way!" -A Short Time Later- "I now pronounce you both married," Rei's grandfather said, "You may kiss the bride." Both Makoto and Ami lifted up their wedding veils as they looked lovingly into each others eyes. They leaned forward and kissed each other passionately as the Senshi all clapped for them. "Wonderful," the old man said as the two separated, "And now, you may kiss the bride again." Ami and Makoto both looked a bit confused, but shrugged it off as they kissed a second time, their friends once again clapping for them. "Okay," Rei's grandfather said with a goofy looking grin as he began to drool, "Now you start to rub her thigh while she gropes your..." "GRANDFATHER!" Rei shouted as she smacked the dirty old man upside the back of his head, "No hentai!" As the others in the shrine sweat dropped, Usagi suddenly noticed how much Rei reminded her of the Scarecrow from her dream. Later, at the wedding party, she pulled her raven-haired friend aside. "Rei," Usagi said, "Can I confess something to you without it ruining our friendship?" "Of course," Rei said as the festive celebration went on around them, "What's wrong?" "Well..." the blonde began hesitantly, "I... I'm engaged to Mamoru, but I think I've somehow fallen out of love with him and in love with you." "Oh, Usagi," Rei said sadly as she looked away from her, "You don't know how I've longed to hear those words from you. But we could never date. You're engaged to Mamoru, Usagi. I wouldn't want to be the reason the two of you broke up, I..." she was cut off as Mamoru got up on the stage in the assembly hall to make an announcement. "Everyone," he said, speaking into the microphone provided him, "First off, a toast; to Mako and Ami-chan." "To Mako and Ami-chan," everyone cheered as they held up their glasses to the lovely couple. "Secondly," he continued, "As a special treat for the newlyweds, Usagi and I splurged a bit and hired the best sushi chef in Tokyo to cater the reception," he announced to more applause as the chef in question and his crew came out from the back with a large fish tank filled with water and fish. As Mamoru was beginning to walk off the stage, the wire to his microphone accidentally got wrapped around his leg, tripping him up. "Oh no!" he cried out as he started to fall off stage and into the fish tank with the microphone in his hand, "Not again!" ZAP! Everyone at the wedding reception stood there silently for several seconds as they looked at the corpse floating in the fish tank. Finally, Usagi turned to Rei. "How about now?" the blonde asked. "Well, yeah," the dark haired beauty answered as she took her in her arms, "Now it would be fine," she said as she pressed her lips to Usagi's. -THE END- End Notes: Dedicated to writer-jm for suggesting the Wizard of Oz spoof. Also, the names everyone used when Usagi thought she'd woken up the first time (as well as the part about Haruka and Michiru being cousins) comes from the English Dubbed version of Sailor Moon. And that, as they say, is that. I've had a ball writing this series, and I just wanted to once again thank all of you out there for the support and the kind reviews. I sincerely doubt this will be my final venture into Sailor Moon humor, so hopefully it won't be too awfully long before I have something new to offer all of you. Take care. Sayonara
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