-Prologue- "Let me get this straight," Michiru said as she rubbed her temple, "Chibi Usa tried to order a pizza, and instead ended up getting a goddess sent to our house?" "Well," Hotaru began, "Something like that, I..." the Senshi of Death was cut off as a small, kawaii-looking robot made up of odds and ends around the house scurried by between her and her Michiru-mama, continuing with its task of straightening up the living room. As the eight other small robots worked throughout the house as well, tidying up and dusting, Chibi Usa swallowed hard as she came forward. "It... It's a bit worse than that," she said as one of the mechanical creatures took a duster to the back of her pink hair. "How is it worse?" the artist asked as she narrowed her eyes. "Well..." Chibi Usa began reluctantly, "We were given one wish and... well... I kinda wished the goddess would stay with Chibi Chibi always." "Urgh," Michiru groaned as she turned to her wife, "Haruka, have you heard what these two girls have done? I... Haruka?" she asked as she saw that the racecar driver and Skuld were talking intensely on the other side of the room. "...so then, I'm driving the car around the third turn in lap twenty, and the stupid thing started getting tight on me." "Hmm... Couldn't the pit crew loosen it up a bit?" the goddess asked as she held Chibi Chibi in her arms. "No, we tried various things with the chassis and the engine, but nothing seemed to work." "Sounds like it may have something to do with the actual course itself then. Maybe the track lost grip. If you'd like, I could take a look at your racecar later, maybe see if I can rig something up using spare parts from your toaster oven and dishwasher." "Really?" Haruka asked, "You wouldn't mind?" "Might as well," Skuld said with a frown as she put the cute little toddler down on the ground, "It looks like I'm going to be stuck here for a while anyways." "Haruka!" Michiru shouted. "Huh?" "You're not even listening," the Senshi of the Seas said angrily, "We can't keep a goddess here! Where's she going to sleep? We'd have to add on an extension to the mansion, I..." the aqua-haired young artist was cut off as the timegate appeared in the room. Sailor Pluto came out, followed by Sappho. The Greek poetess was wearing a recently acquired leather jacket over her toga, and something white was bulging out of the jacket's pockets. "...never so embarrassed in my life," the Time Senshi grumbled. "S... Sappho?" Michiru asked, her earlier anger forgotten at the sight of the famous lesbian poet in her house. Haruka, slightly less star struck this time around, raised her eyebrow as she took in the two newcomers. "Setsuna? What happened?" the blonde tomboy asked. "I'll tell you what happened!" she answered, "This Greek nut started a riot by getting up on the karaoke stage and singing a lewd version of ‘Do You Think I'm Sexy?'" "She what?" Michiru asked in shock. "Heyyyy, what can I say?" the woman in question asked, "Anyways, none of the ladies who were listening to me were complaining. They even gave me souvenirs to take with me." "Souvenirs?" Hotaru asked. In response, Sappho pulled out from her jacket pockets all the panties the ladies at the bar threw up to her on the karaoke stage. Chibi Usa turned away as she turned beet red. Haruka stepped forward, "I'm not sure I want to ask this," she began, "But exactly where did you get the leather jacket?" Sappho smiled, "I seduced the bouncer watching the door." "Bones?" Setsuna asked incredulously as Chibi Chibi walked past her. "Yeah, that's the one," the poetess said as the toddler weaved through the robots cleaning the room and grabbed the TV remote. "Chibi chibi," she said as she turned the TV on. The six o'clock news began, but soon the screen became fuzzy as a ravishing-looking woman with tan skin and white hair appeared on the screen. Suddenly, the gorgeous woman exited the screen and found herself standing in the Outer's living room. The Senshi in the room immediately went into defensive mode, pulling out their henshin wands and transforming. Even little Chibi Chibi changed into her Sailor form. The newcomer in the incredibly revealing outfit however seemed wholly unimpressed. "Hello," the white-haired woman said to the group of Senshi, "You haven't seen an annoying little... Oh there you are." "Urd!" Skuld said angrily, "This is all your fault you jerk! You were supposed to answer that stupid goddess request, and instead you pushed me into the mirror! I'm not even supposed to travel by mirror! I come and go through water, remember?" "Whoa, calm down brat," Urd said, "As far as the mirror goes, it was either that or coming out through the toilet bowl. And as for sending you instead of responding myself, I was just trying to give Belldandy and Keiichi some alone time for once. I mean, come on kid; no offense, but you're a boat anchor." "Why you conniving little..." Skuld growled out, "You left them alone?" "Relax pipsqueak. They're fine. Before I left I gave them some Berry White albums to entertain them, as well as the album ‘Let's Get It On' by Marvin Gaye." "You WHAT?" the frantic little sister practically shrieked, "Don't you know what that kind of music could cause them to do?" "We can only hope," Urd answered with a wicked grin, "Anyways, I heard from the powers that be about your plight, and I'm here to bring you over a sleeping bag, a change of clothes, a toothbrush and a..." Urd's voice died off as her attention was diverted to an image of beauty standing in the living room in a leather jacket. She slinked over as seductively as possible over to the beauty. "Hello," Urd purred sensuously as she looked at the Greek with a sudden longing in her eyes, "My name's Urd," she said as she held out her hand, "And you are?" "Single," Sappho answered, narrowing her eyes as she took the goddess' hand and bent down to kiss the back of it. "Oh brother," Skuld said as she rolled her eyes. She then made a face as something foul reached her nose, "Eew, I think Chibi Chibi needs to be changed." Hotaru sighed as she turned to the audience, "This thing just keeps getting worse, doesn't it? Well, as we all try to work out this fiasco, here's the next omake." ------ -Omake Thirty-Two: Dumbass in the Shell- Major Hino Rei of Section Nine of the Japanese National Public Safety Commission stood in the meeting room, the attractive cyborg wearing a black leather jacket over a strapless leotard and thigh-high combat boots. Her dark hair fell loosely down her back as she checked her watch again. She was waiting for her partner, Chiba Mamoru, to join her. The two were being assigned a simple security detail for a political dignitary, Princess Usagi Tsukino. The Major was getting impatient as the time slid by, and was about to go out looking for her partner when she heard a loud thump come from the hallway. "Ow, damn it!" Mamoru yelled as he came into the meeting room clutching his head in pain, "How in the hell does the prop department expect me to get around with these?" he asked angrily as he pointed up at the lenses he had in place of eyes, "I can't see a damned thing!" The Major raised an eyebrow, "Maybe it would help if you took the lens caps off," she suggested. Mamoru blushed from embarrassment as he took the caps off, his vision instantly improving. "Oops," he managed to get out as Rei rolled her eyes. -A Short Time Later- "Now look," the Major said as they stood outside the apartment, "Our information says this Princess is being targeted by an international criminal who goes by the name Beryl. We've been given the task of body guarding her so that nothing happens to her." "Right," Mamoru answered, adding, "But wait, what if they ghost hack her?" "Unlikely," Rei said, "Believe it or not, intelligence reports suggest she's fully human. There's nothing to hack," she said as she knocked on the door. The handle turned, and a mesmerizingly beautiful blonde answered the door. "Princess?" Mamoru asked, grinning widely as he took in the attractive woman's form. "Y... Yes," the frightened young woman answered, "Since security let you through I can only assume you're from Section Nine, I..." her voice drifted off as she looked at the Major in her cyber-slut outfit. "Beautiful," she whispered, blushing cutely as she realized she'd said it out loud. Rei smiled at the cute young woman in the odangos, "May we come in?" she asked, her voice sending shivers down Usagi's spine. "Yes, of course," the Princess said as she allowed them in, locking the door behind them. -Meanwhile- The criminal mastermind Beryl sat in an apartment complex directly across from the hotel Princess Usagi was staying at. With her were three innocent rubes she'd ghost hacked and converted into henchmen. She looked at the three young men in ponytails as she pressed her lips into a cruel smile. "Stalactite," she said to the brainy one, "Have you managed to hack into the hotel's security yet?" "I'm working on it," the slave said as he continued working away in front of the computer in the room. Beryl then turned to the other two, addressing them by the new names she'd given then as well. "Stalagmite, Parasite," she commanded, "Once the genius over there gets past the firewalls, we'll..." "Got it," Stalactite said, just before frowning, "Bad news Beryl." "What? What bad news?" she demanded. "There are two agents from Section Nine over there we'll have to take care of first." "Hmm... Section Nine, eh?" the villain asked, "Well, see if you can hack into one of them." "We'll do," the henchmen said as he began feverishly typing away at his keyboard. ------ Mamoru was frowning. Sure, he had stupid-looking lens things for eyes, but he wasn't ugly otherwise. And this Usagi woman was exactly the kind of woman he was into; outgoing, innocent and beautiful. For some reason, however, the blonde was ignoring his presence completely. Instead, she seemed completely smitten by the Major of all people. She was practically fawning over Rei, blushing cutely as she and the raven-haired agent sat close on the apartment's couch and talked. ‘Major' Mamoru said to her via thought message, ‘Is it just me, or does this Usagi woman have some sort of weird crush on you?' ‘You blonde haired little vixen,' Rei thought as the corners of her lips lifted into a smile, ‘As soon as this mission is over, I'm going to rip your clothes off and lick you all over your...' ‘MAJOR!' ‘Eep!' the Major said as her eyes widened in shock, ‘Mamoru, er... how much did you hear?' ‘Enough,' he answered disgustedly before saying out loud, "I think I'll grab myself a drink," he then proceeded to go into the apartment's small kitchen and stood before the refrigerator. He was just about to open it, when suddenly he was hacked into. -YOU ARE NOW BERYL'S SLAVE- "I am now Beryl's slave," Mamoru said out loud, catching the Major's attention. -KILL YOUR FELLOW AGENT- "Kill my fellow agent," he repeated. ...... "So then I started getting these threatening letters," Usagi said as she continued talking to the strikingly beautiful cyborg sitting next to her. She was trying to work up the courage to ask Rei out once all this craziness was over, when suddenly the agent activated her thermo-optic camouflage and disappeared from sight. Just then, agent Mamoru entered the room carrying a large kitchen knife, "Hello Usagi," he said with a crazed look in his eye, "Say, you haven't seen agent Rei around anywhere, have you?" From behind, invisible hands carried a microwave oven into the room, taking the ghost hacked agent off guard as it was quickly slammed onto his head and plugged into a nearby outlet. As the oven was set and Mamoru tried desperately to get the oven off his head, Princess Usagi felt something grab her and fling her behind the couch. The blonde was about to try to get up, but found a weight holding her down. "Stay down," the voice of Major Hino commanded just before a large explosion shook the room. Rei became visible once again as she got up off the princess and ran over to the now headless agent Mamoru. Pulling a group of wires from out of the back of her neck, she connected them quickly to his neck stump and back-hacked to the computer from across the street that had ghost hacked her partner. A moment later, Usagi looked up from her hiding place behind the couch to see Major Hino leap from the window in her room to that of an apartment across the busy intersection below. Rei burst through the window into the room, spraying bullets everywhere. She killed Beryl after a heavy firefight, afterwards calling in the rest of Section Nine to take the three injured henchmen into custody and try to bring their original selves back. As agents Ami, Makoto and Minako took the three away, a quick background search showed the three men to have originally been members of some sort of boy's band. Major Hino then returned to Princess Usagi, smiling as she gave her the good news that the criminal who was after her was now gone for good. "So," the dark-haired cyborg continued, "I... I guess that means the mission's over, and you don't need me anymore." Usagi shook her head as she looked at her sadly, "No, please don't go yet, I... I know we just met, but I... I've never met anyone like you before. I... I think I'm falling in love with you." Rei smiled at that, "I... I think I've fallen in love with you too," she admitted, "This won't be easy though, you know. For one thing I live a dangerous life in Section Nine. And for another, I'm a cyborg. I need regular maintenance, as well as oil changes and..." she was cut off as Usagi pressed her soft lips against hers. The Major closed her eyes as she deepened the kiss. The two pulled back eventually, but kept their arms around each other. "Rei," Usagi said as she leaned her head on the agent's shoulder. "Hmm?" "Could you help me clean up this mess left behind when you blew up Mamoru's head? The Hotel needs the apartment back by four." -To Be Continued- End Notes: I totally forgot last chapter to give Shanejayell credit for Arisugawa's Locket. If you haven't read it yet, go and do so. It's da bomb!
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