Makoto's Angel (part 8 of 8)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by Jessica Welch

Back to Part 7
Makoto was sitting under an overpass somewhere. A few cars passed over
head but other than that it was relatively quite. She sat in the dark
shadows with her knees drawn up and her arms hugging them close. She
was safe her for the moment. Safe from the demons of her past that
followed her. She felt numb and welcomed it. The pain was so much
harder to bare.

The memories crept up on her again but she was too tired to fight them
now. She let them envelop her as the void inside her grew.

She had always been protective of her friends at school. She didn't
like people teasing them or using them and she was tuff enough to
'persuade people to do otherwise. She was definitely a tom boy and she
liked playing boys games, but she didn't like the boys. She likes
playing with the girls and being their champion and hero. But she knew
she never really fit in with the girls either. They were her friends,
but she could never be fully apart of that clique.

As she got older her friends often asked her why she didn't have a
crush on any of the boys. She answered them honestly. "I don't like any
off them. They're all rude and gross." A few of her friends snickered
but left it at that. As more time went by the question was asked more
frequently and she felt herself slipping away from that group of
friends though she didn't know why they were pulling away. Half of them
had boy friends already and those that didn't had crushes on others.
Makoto never developed a crush though.

She learned from her friends that with boyfriends always comes heart
ache. They would run to her when their love would dump them. Makoto
would always be there to console and say how rotten men were and how ya
just didn't need them. It always made them feel better. But after a
week they would be with some new boyfriends or have another crush. Her
growth spurt came way earlier than the rest of her friends and stood
towering over most of them. She had to wear a boys uniform cause the
girls ones just didn't fit. She actually liked the boys uniform
better... until all the whispering started.

She knew it was there though she didn't know what was being said. She
would walk by groups of people and they would suddenly get quite. After
she was passed then there would be whispering and maybe some giggling.
For the most part she tried to ignore it. She didn't understand what
the big deal was.

Then there was the day she was walking to class and she passed a boy
who she didn't really know and didn't care to know. He was a jerk and
thought he was something special. As she walked passed he muttered
something under his breath and his friends laughed. Makoto didn't catch
what it was but she spun around and confronted him.

"What's your problem?"

"You are freak."

"What did you call me?" She stomped over to him, her eyes narrow slits.

"You heard me freak. Now get away from me before I catch you diseased
dyke." He didn't see the fist flying at him till it connected with his
face.

That's when the fighting started. Throughout the year she was called
more names. She lost more friends. She was ostracized from everyone.
She felt truly alone for the first time since her parents died.

She was on the verge of being expelled from her school for fighting
when the counselor called her in to discuss why she was getting into so
many fights. She told her that she had to, to defend her honor. She
never picked any of the fights, but she couldn't just walk away from
what they said. In not so many words she told her how the other
students were harassing her. When the counselor told her to ignore them
and just have fun with her other friends Makoto said she didn't have
any. Taking all this into account the decision was made to transfer her
to Juuban Jr. High. There she could get a fresh start.

She had another chance. She could make new friends and they never had
to know about anything from her past. She made her own uniform knowing
that none would fit her tall frame and there was no way she was going
to wear a boys uniform after the hell she's already been through. She
would act boy crazy and do feminine things and no one would think she
was a freak. She would have new friends and do what ever it took to
keep them. And so began her new life.

That life was over now though. This was much worse than the last time
though. This time she had been in love with someone, who was also her
closest friend. 'I must be a freak. Everything that's around me gets
destroyed. Its just better if I wasn't around anyone at all.' She
stayed there all night, curled under the overpass out of view.

* * * *

Minako had been searching everywhere for Makoto but could find no trace
of her. She was extremely worried and blamed herself for this
happening. She doubted she would ever forget the pain she had seen in
Makoto's eyes.

Minako decided not to call the other senshi to search for Makoto. Too
many questions would be asked. She went back to Makoto's apartment for
a few hours hoping she would at some point show up there, but the wait
was in vain. She kicked herself mentally for wasting so much time. It
was getting late, and she'd have to go home soon, or else her parents
wouldn't let her leave the house whenever she needed to anymore.

"Dammit Makoto." Minako sighed in frustration. "Where are you?"

Minako was in her bedroom, pretending to be asleep. She racked her
brain trying to figure out where Makoto could have gone. Her mind was
drawing a blank, there was no way she'd find Makoto if she didn't want
to be found. 'If only I could talk to her-' She sat straight up in bed
and smacked her forehead. 'Stupid baka head. You have your
communicator.'

She scrambled out of bed and changed into a pair of old jeans and a
dark shirt. She looked at the clock as she grabbed her communicator and
saw it was already past two in the morning. Quietly she snuck out of
her room through the window as she was accustomed to. Once on the
street she opened her "compact" and pressed a few buttons. She doubted
Makoto would answer a call if she tried. She just hoped the green eyed
girl had forgotten about it and it was still turned on. A few moments
later and a small dot came on her screen. Minako sigh with relief. The
homing device was operational, now she just had to follow that little
bleep.

She sent up another silent prayer that Makoto was alright and began her
search again.

* * * * *

She felt a soft warmth flowing from her shoulder. In her foggy state of
mind it made her realize how cold the rest of her was. She felt so
heavy as she tried to pull herself closer to the soft voice that was
calling her name. The weighted sleep began to dissipate as the voice
grew louder though it was still soothing. She wished to wrap herself in
that voice and never wake up again. That voice was safe. She opened her
eyes slowly wanting to see the owner of the angelic voice. Green eyes
met blue and locked for what could have been an eternity. A smile
tugged at the corner of her lips as she saw her angel again, for a
moment forgetting what had happened that night.

Makoto was curled up on her side with Minako crouched over, her knees
drawn up almost to her chin. She looked so small, and fragile like
that. Minako helped her sit up and wrapped an arm around her waist. She
frowned as Makoto began to shiver.

Makoto felt so entirely drained. She didn't want to move from the warm
embrace and thought about falling back to sleep. She wondered what had
made her feel this way and mentally shook the cobwebs from her brain.
She remembered meeting Minako at the park, how great she looked and
that killer smile. She remembered talking for a while and then... then
the argument.

Her brow creased and she stiffened. The dead weight smashed into her
gut again as she remembered the anger Minako had at finding out her
true feelings. She clenched her jaw biting back tears and tried to pull
away from the blonde.

Minako kept her arm firmly in place and whispered softly against her
shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere Mako-chan, not until we work things
out."

Makoto stopped trying to pull away. The fact of the matter was it took
all her strength and focus to keep herself from crying. She was not
going to show her weakness in front of Minako. She didn't think she
could take the humiliation that would come afterwards. Closing her eyes
tightly she sat there holding the bare threads of her composure. She
would have to speak soon, if only to tell Minako to leave, and she knew
if she didn't get a grip on herself she wouldn't be able to say a word
with out breaking down.

Minako waited patiently, giving her the time she needed. Finally Makoto
took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Minako will you please just
leave me alone." Her voice was quiet and strained.

"Not until you give me a good reason why I should."

Makoto swallowed hard. "Because you shouldn't be around a freak like
me."

"That's not a good enough reason for me because I know you aren't a
freak and whoever told you that needs a Venus Crescent Beam up the ass.
So it looks like I'm staying till we get this all sorted out." Minako
gently took Makoto's hand in her own and squeezed it reassuringly. "Now
tell me what made you run off like that."

Makoto just stared down at their hands. She could count how many times
she just wanted to reach out and do this. She was very confused as to
what was happening. 'Minako shouldn't be here, unless she came to laugh
in my face. But she wouldn't have tracked me down to do that would she?
And why was she here holding my hand if she was so angry about the
whole thing.' She looked up at Minako, "Aren't you angry and disgusted
about finding out my true feelings for you?"

"No, is that what you thought?" Minako asked with a concerned look.

Makoto looked down again. She didn't want to talk. She had already
spent her night grieving, she had had enough of it. Her face turned
into a stony mask, and she sat silent, not looking at Minako.

Minako felt her tall friend shutting her out. She knew she couldn't let
that happen. "Mako-chan would you just talk to me please?" The brunette
sat there unmoving and quiet. "Will you at least look at me then?" In
response Makoto hunched her shoulders up further. Minako took a deep
breath and tried to think of another course of action. Even if she
declared her love she doubted Makoto would believe her.

Makoto sat there lost in her own thoughts. She was being ripped apart
inside and the last thing she wanted was for Minako to know how much it
hurt. 'It's my problem to deal with Minako. I'm not going to drag you
down with me.' All the pain from being laughed at in school was
flooding her brain. She didn't want Minako to experience that. Couldn't
she see that being around her was just going to cause her grief?

Minako tried to speak to her again. "I know that you care a great deal
for me Mako-chan. Why can't we just talk about it. Tell me why you've
said nothing of this to me for so long." She grabbed Makoto's shoulder
trying to make her face her.

Makoto looked up with cold eyes that held anger and pain. "Because I
don't want you to become like me. I don't want you to go though what I
did. That of course is IF you have any feelings for me in return which
I must say I highly doubt." Her voice was low and flat.

Minako was stunned for a moment. She could see the pain Makoto was
carrying but she still didn't know the cause. She could see it ran deep
though. "Mako-chan, my feelings for you are very strong, more than just
friendship."

Before she could continue Makoto interrupted. "No. I don't want you
caring for me like that. It will only bring you misery." Her voice was
husky with emotion. "Just walk away Minako and pretend you know nothing
of this before you get hurt."

"I think I can make my own decisions on which risks I will take
Mako-chan. You are trying to protect me from something but I still have
yet to understand what exactly that is."

Makoto's voice took a hard edge not listening to the rest of what the
blonde was saying. "Can you really Minako? Can you really endure the
harassment that will come with being involved with me? The hate?" She
looked down at her boots holding back angry tears.

Minako quietly absorbed this. Makoto silently fumed. It would be so
much easier if Minako just left things the way they were before. She
would not let Minako get hurt over her. She didn't deserve that. She
deserved someone normal. She deserved a stable life, not one which was
a magnet for hate and prejudice.

Minako's soft voice brought her out of her thoughts. "You're scared
Mako-chan. I don't think I've ever seen you like this. But you aren't
alone anymore. Don't you see that?" She reached out and gently brushed
a lock of soft chestnut hair behind Makoto's ear. Letting her fingers
trail along her jaw line till she could tilt Makoto's chin up towards
her. Minako looked into those deep green eyes and whispered, "I'm with
you now. You don't have to face anything alone. Together we can stare
anything down."

A single tear slipped down Makoto's cheek. "But I don't want to put you
through that Mina-chan..." her voice was rough with emotion, "I love
you too much to ruin your life."

Minako leaned forward, her voice barely audible as she breathed against
Makoto's lips. "You can only make my life complete. You fill the empty
void in my heart that grew when realizing every moment without you to
love was wasted. What people can say to hurt me is nothing compared the
pain of being without you. I love you and I don't want to be without
you."

Makoto was speechless. She didn't dare start to hope but her heart was
quickly gaining control of her thoughts. She doubted she was ever more
afraid in her life than she was at that moment. She not only risked her
own heart but Minako's as well. But with Minako being so close, her
greatest dream within reach, she felt stronger. The crystal blue eyes
drew her in and she felt safe as Minako's love enveloped her. She
surrendered to her heart and closed her eyes. Her destiny was sealed as
the petal soft brush of Minako's lips was felt against her own. She was
with her angel.


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