Love is Blue (part 4 of 5)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by MadPanda

Back to Part 3
A half-hearted "Tadaima!" signaled Ami's return to her apartment  She 
knew her mother wouldn't be home to reply to her, but it was done just 
the same.  She went straight to the whiteboard in the kitchen, which 
served as the Mizuno communications center.  As expected, yet another 
note:

"I will be at a medical conference in Hokkaido tonight.  Will be back in 
two days.  Miss you...Mom."

"I miss you too."  Ami's voice was sad but resigned.  This happened much 
too often for her taste, especially since her parents' divorce.  "It 
can't be helped, I guess."  Once again, Ami rationalized her mother's 
absences as a necessary sacrifice for her success.  Her mother worked 
hard to support them both, and as much as Ami wanted to spend more time 
with her, Ami knew she couldn't ask for it.  If anything, it made the 
time they did spend together more precious, but still...

After putting her things away, Ami made herself a cup of tea and took it 
into the den.  She sat, took a sip, and then placed the cup on the desk, 
and leaned back in her chair.  Her mind was a whirl, and she needed 
something to focus on.  She turned on her computer and smiled when she 
saw the desktop wallpaper--a picture of her and Makoto, sitting under a 
tree in a warm embrace.  She had all but forgotten she chose that photo 
this morning, replacing one of her mother.  Ami thought back to when the 
photo was taken, during a picnic all the Inner Senshi had attended.

---------

Minako had been taking everyone's picture--and getting chased by Rei for 
taking hers without permission--when she saw Makoto and Ami sitting 
under a tree, enjoying each other's company.  She couldn't resist, and 
they were too lost in each other to care--or at least that's how Minako 
saw it.

"You're not going to ask them either, huh?"  The raven-haired fire 
senshi asked.

"Of course not!" Minako replied brightly, camera at the ready.  "It's 
more lifelike that way!  I wanna get them in the meat of the moment!"

"Um, no...that's 'heat of the moment', Mina-chan."  Rei's dry delivery 
did nothing to dampen Minako's enthusiasm.  "Fine.  Just take the shot 
and leave them alone."

"But Rei-chan...don't you want to know what they're talking about?  
Maybe their making plans for a secret rendezvous...or even deciding 
which love hotel would be the most discreet!"  Minako was giddy, but Rei 
held her by the collar of her blouse to keep her from interrupting the 
couple.

"If they were, Ami's face would be hotter than the Sacred Fire back at 
the Temple, Mina-chan.  Besides, neither of them are as perverted as 
you."

"Would you like to find out just how perverted I am, Rei-chan?" Minako 
quickly whirled around to Rei.  Since her hand was still attached to 
Minako's collar, Rei suddenly found herself with her arm around Minako's 
shoulder, and their faces a breath apart. "I'd love to show you," she 
said seductively.

Rei thought she would spontaneously combust. "I-I..WILL YOU STOP THAT!"  
She yanked her arm from around Minako's neck, sending the giggling 
blonde spinning away.  "She's gonna be the death of me," panted the 
miko.  "I'm sure of it!"

Ami and Makoto watched the entire scene play out, and laughed at its 
conclusion.  "She's such a flirt!"  Makoto could barely get the sentence 
out before laughing again.

"Yes, absolutely shameless!"  Ami's own laughter wasn't as loud as 
Makoto's but it was full just the same.  The two friends composed 
themselves long enough to breathe normally, then continued their 
conversation.

"Now, where were we?  Oh yes..just look at them," Ami said as she nodded 
towards a nearby tree, under which sat Mamoru Chiba and his future 
bride, Usagi Tsukino.  The lanky blonde with the odd dual-pigtailed 
hairstyle had draped herself over the tall, dark-haired young man's lap, 
and was peacefully sleeping.  "Do you think they'll stay as happy as 
they are now?"  Ami's question had a hint of wistfulness in it, as well 
as admiration for the couple.

"Beats me," Makoto answered.  "I'm not exactly the best person to ask a 
question like that."

Ami cursed herself inwardly for the misstep.  "I'm sorry, Mako-chan.  
It's just that, you see those two, and Michiru and Haruka, and you start 
to wonder how long things like that can last without something going 
wrong."

"No need to apologize, Ami-chan.  Considering both of our backgrounds, 
you'd think we'd both be pretty sour on the whole 'happily ever after' 
idea."

"You do have a point.  Even so, I do like to think that we would not end 
up the way our parents have.  That we have our own paths, and that the 
person we choose to love will always be there for us."  Ami was smiling 
now, staring up at the sky.

"I'd like that," Makoto said, "but I think you're more of an optimist 
than I am."  She stopped her own sky-gazing for a moment, and turned to 
Ami.  "Sometimes I think there are people who are destined to find love, 
and people who are destined to be alone.  I think I belong in the second 
group."

Ami thought for a moment, considering Makoto's opinion fully before 
answering.  "In some ways, I agree.  There are some people who are just 
made to be 'fifth wheels' or 'sidekicks', but even some of then fall in 
love.  When it comes to your destiny, however, I strongly disagree"

"What makes you say that?"

"You have too much to offer, Mako-chan.  You're very beautiful, strong 
physically and emotionally, you're an incredible cook, and you're 
unbelievably caring.  Just because people can't see all of those things 
doesn't mean they go unnoticed by everyone.  I've seen sides of you that 
most people don't, and I like what I've seen.  The person who takes the 
time to really see you for who you are, inside and out, can't help but 
fall in love with you, Mako-chan."  Ami heard herself speak that last 
sentence, and covered her mouth.  She was blushing furiously, but 
refused to take her eyes off of Makoto.

Makoto was speechless.  No one had ever been so candid with her 
before--well, maybe her close friend Shinozaki, but they were like 
brother and sister, so it was endearing when it came from him.  Coming 
from Ami, though, it sounded hopeful...even optimistic.  Something else 
came through in Ami's words; Makoto wasn't sure, but she wondered if Ami 
took the time to see the many sides of her out of friendship, or 
something more.  In any case, she was speechless, and dazed.

"Mako-chan?  Are you alright?  Did I say something wrong?"  Ami's face 
was covered in worry.

"Um....sorry, Ami-chan.  I was listening to what you said again in my 
mind.  I..I don't know how to thank you for what you said."  Makoto's 
eyes began to well up, but she would not allow herself to cry, not here.

Ami offered her a handkerchief.  "You don't need to do anything...being 
yourself and having your friendship is thanks enough for me.  I meant 
every word of it.  Please don't ever think of yourself as undeserving of 
love!"

"Th-thank you very much, Ami-chan," whispered Makoto.  She blushed and 
turned away.  'How does she do that?  How can she make me feel 
so...appreciated?  Is she...is she in love with me?'  Makoto rolled 
those ideas around in her head, and felt she wasn't quite ready for the 
answer...or what it meant for her.  She thought it best to change the 
subject.  "Have you......have you ever felt like you were alone in a 
crowd?"

"Alone in a crowd?"  Ami echoed the comment, needing further input.

"Yeah...I mean, when you're surrounded by people you know, but for some 
reason, you still feel like you're by yourself.  Have you ever felt that 
way?"  Makoto said, looking at nothing in particular.

"I never had that problem until recently," Ami replied.  "Mainly because 
I was never part of a crowd.  Since I've met Usagi and you and everyone, 
I'm very happy.  But sometimes it does feel like I'm left out of some 
things.  It is a very lonely feeling, and one I'm not very fond of.  How 
about you?"

"Happens a lot.  When you are helping Usagi with her studies, and Minako 
and Rei are gossiping, I'm happy being with everyone, but sometimes I 
feel like I'm not even there."  Makoto tried to frame her next thought 
without sounding selfish.  "I love making people happy, but I wonder if 
there's someone who can make me happy, like Mamoru does for Usagi."

Ami did all she could do to restrain herself. "I...I could," she said 
shyly.  "I'm not sure what it would take, but I would do my best..." 
Thinking she had overstepped her bounds, Ami was surprised when Makoto 
took her hand.

"Believe it or not, Ami-chan, when we are talking like this, just us, 
that's when I'm happiest.  You don't really have to do anything but 
listen and be there for me, like you have been.  I don't expect any more 
from you.  I can't expect to monopolize you, either.  So when we have 
talks like this, it means a lot to me."

"I feel the same way, Mako-chan."  Ami was smiling broadly.  "Whenever 
you need me, just ask.  I'll always be here for you."  She found herself 
staring at Makoto, who couldn't stop her tears this time.  "Did I say 
something wrong, Mako-chan?"

"Oh, no!"  Makoto turned to Ami and gave her a hug.  "Other than Usagi, 
no one has ever said that and meant it before.  I mean, many guys have 
said things like that, but it's different coming from you.  I know you 
mean it.  Thank you so much, Ami-chan."

As much as Ami wanted to stay in Makoto's arms, she thought this wasn't 
the place for it.  She heard the subtle 'click-whirr' of a camera, and 
spotted Minako out of the corner of her eye.  "Um, we'd better let go 
before Mina-chan starts planning the wedding and naming our children"

Makoto let go of Ami, looked in the direction she was pointing in, and 
called out to the would-be paparazzi.  "Don't make me have to call 
Rei-chan on you!"  She and Ami had a good laugh at Minako's expense.  
The blonde stuck out her tongue at the pair, and ran off.

------

"Even when you're not here, you make me feel so much better."  Ami 
touched the image of Makoto's face.  "Seeing you, I'm not alone 
anymore."  She thought about Makoto, and the more she thought, the more 
she wanted.  "I should call her.  Invite her over..."  She pulled out 
her cell phone and dialed.  The voice mail prompt caught her off guard, 
until she realized it was late.  "Um, hello...this is Ami.  I'm sorry 
for calling so late.  I just wanted to talk, or to...well...invite you 
over.  I guess you're sleeping, so I'll just wait until tomorrow.  Good 
night, Mako-chan." 

Ami put down the phone and prepared herself for another lonely night.

Onwards to Part 5


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