Growing Up
It's alright to tell me
What you think about me
I won't try to argue
Or hold it against you
I know that you're leaving
You must have your reasons
The season is calling
Your pictures are falling
Down
The steps that I retrace
The sad look on your face
The timing instructor
Did you hear he fucked her
A day late a buck short
I'm writing the report
I'm losing and failing
When I move I'm flailing
Now
And it's happened once again
I'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
And sees to the master plan
But everybody's gone
And I've been here for too long
To make it on my own
Well I guess this is growing up
Well I guess this is growing up
Well maybe I'll see you
At a movie, sneak preview
You'll show up and walk by
On the arm of that guy
And I'll smile and you'll wave
We'll pretend it's ok
The charade it won't last
When he's gone I won't come back
And it'll happen once again
You'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
And sees to the master plan
But everybody's gone
And you've been there for too long
To face this on your own
Well I guess this is growing up
Well I guess this is growing up
Well I guess this is growing up
Well I guess this is growing up
Well I guess this is growing up
- Blink 182
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ChibiUSA woke up in Hotaru's arms. Her best friend and
lover...her one and only. She smiled, and watched her lover sleep.
The light breathing made only tiny sounds, and she loved watching.
ChibiUSA remembered, when they were just friends. She remembered
the way she felt when Hotaru would comfort her in her arms, and how
the motion was one of only friendly love.
But that was quite different now. When she was in Hotaru's
arms, they were usually in the midst of making love...or at least,
about to make love. She smiled in remembrance of the night before.
Hotaru was so beautiful...so amazing. She really loved her...and
wanted to tell the world.
But she couldn't. They were only fifteen...not old enough to
even marry. ChibiUSA also wanted to go to the United States
first...she had always wanted to visit there. And now, with it being
summer, she had the chance. And she wanted Hotaru to go with her.
Would she go? She hoped so. With her all of small pink
heart, ChibiUSA hoped that Hotaru would go with her to America. It
would be the best vacation she would ever have...but only if Hotaru
would come with her.
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Hotaru woke up to ChibiUSA watching her. "Hi Chibi-chan."
She said softly, and stretched out. She looked around the room,
and realized it was night. "You woke me up when I could sleep?"
"I'm sorry, Taru-chan." ChibiUSA smiled. "You look so
beautiful when you sleep."
"Mm...thank you. You look so beautiful when you're naked."
Chibi blushed. Hotaru rolled over on top of her lover and kissed
her. "If it's still night...then we still have time..."
"Of course." ChibiUSA kissed Hotaru back. She wrapped her
arms around Hotaru's waist, holding her closer. Hotaru held
Chibi's face in-between her two hands, kissing her lover fiercely.
"Chibi-chan..." She whispered breathlessly. "I love you."
"I love you to, Taru-chan." They kissed again, and Hotaru
descended on her lover with a fierce need. She kissed down Chibi's
neck, and reached her breasts quickly. Sneaking a look at Chibi
first, she kissed one of those small breasts and licked the pink
rosebud nipple that matched her hair. While Hotaru was doing this,
one of her tiny hands snaked down Chibi's stomach to the junction
of her thighs. With one quick movement, she was at the sweet
entrance to Chibi's most secret cave. She massaged around it
gently, and brushed her fingertips around the lips. "Hotaru!"
ChibiUSA yelled out. She arched her hips and back upwards,
offering herself to Hotaru.
Hotaru would not decline this offer.
She gently slid one of her fingers inside of ChibiUSA,
keeping in mind how sensitive this area was. She did this just as
she began to suck Chibi's breast, and ChibiUSA yelled out. She
slid her fingers in and out of ChibiUSA, feeling Chibi's legs wrap
around her own. Chibi's hips were bucking, and her movements
increased. Hotaru switched to the other breast, repeating the
process and delighting in her lover's moans. Chibi realized, with
a slight nagging in the back of her mind, that she was not doing
anything to please Hotaru.
She slid down farther, just so that she could get at Hotaru's
breasts. And that is what she did. Taking her arms from Hotaru's
waist, she reached them up to caress her breasts. She rubbed her
palms over the nipples, feeling them respond to her touch. Hotaru
let out a delicious shudder. ChibiUSA pulled Hotaru closer, and
licked one of the rosebuds that came toward her mouth. Hotaru
moaned, thrusting her fingers inside ChibiUSA harder, even adding a
second one. Chibi had to suppress a moan, and sucked Hotaru's
breasts gently. She slid her hands along her lover's back, pulling
her ever closer and into her mouth. Hotaru let out another deep
moan, looking up at the ceiling. Delicious feelings were rushing
through the both of them, and she loved every moment of it.
All of a sudden, ChibiUSA let out a screech. She bucked
uncontrollably, and threw her head back herself. She had herself
propped up on her elbows, and her hips were thrusting onto Hotaru's
small hand with more force than she knew she had. Sweatbeads
glistened in the moonlight streaming in from the open window, and
Hotaru gasped at the lovely figure before her. ChibiUSA collapsed
back on the bed, breathing hard. "HOTARU..." She sighed. She
reached for her lover, and her hands came in contact with two
thighs. "Come here, Hotaru..." She said softly, reaching for her
lover. She complied, and Hotaru crawled next to her. Chibi had an
idea. "No, Hotaru, I want you on top of me."
"What?" Hotaru didn't understand.
"I have a surprise for you. Just come here..." Chibi pulled
Hotaru onto her, and shifted her position. "Just kneel down..."
Hotaru complied once again, perplexed. But when ChibiUSA slid down
so that her head was in-between Hotaru's legs, she knew what was
going to happen.
She let out an anxious "oh..." and waited. Chibi let her small
tongue snake out, reveling in Hotaru's deep intake of breath. She
licked her tongue across her lover's entrance slowly, not daring to
move too fast. Hotaru moaned, and squeezed her eyes shut tight.
Chibi stuck her tongue inside of her, and Hotaru let out a very
loud moan. "Oh Chibi!" She shouted out, not caring about anyone
hearing her. She wanted to tell the world about her and ChibiUSA,
but would wait until they were BOTH ready for that. At this
thought, she felt her lover's hands slide up her thighs
slowly...turning her on with anticipation. Chibi's right hand stayed
on her thigh, but her left hand snaked upwards towards her flat
tummy. She kneaded her stomach slowly and gently, reveling in the
feel of tensed muscles. Hotaru was beautiful...so perfect and
muscular and...she sighed, and moved her tongue quickly. "CHIBI!"
Hotaru cried out, eyes full of love and mischief. She loved it
when ChibiUSA did this to her...it was her most favorite thing in the
world. And when Chibi did it to her, it was worth the wait.
Hotaru knelt above Chibi now, her hands balling up the pillow
behind her lover's head with lust. The energy was building up
inside of her, and she felt like she could scream out in delicious
agony. Her hips bucked, her eyes squeezed shut, her cries
increased, and her muscles tensed.
Then...
Time stopped.
It just stopped. She knew what was going to come next, the
delicious release of love and lust
and...
Here it comes...
"OoOoOoOHhHhHhH!!" She exclaimed. Her moan was low and
deep, surprising both her and her lover. Chibi's movements slowed
and then stopped, and Hotaru collapsed above her.
Minutes or maybe hours went by, she couldn't tell. All she
knew was that she was incredibly happy...and that she loved Chibi
will all of her heart. She finally got off of her now squished
love, and flopped down beside her on the bed. "Are you alright,
Taru?" A small voice emerged from that long throat of hers.
"I'm...wonderful." She pulled her close and kissed her.
"You're amazing, my Chibi."
"I love you, Hotaru."
"I love you too, Chibi."
And they drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
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"AMERICA?! YOU WANT TO GO TO AMERICA?!" Hotaru
threw up her arms toward the blue summer sky.
"Yes, Taru-chan, I do." ChibiUSA was shocked by this
reaction in her lover. She knew that Hotaru didn't like Americans
that much...after being assaulted by one of the exchange students.
But she didn't think she would object so strongly to this offer...
"Well you can just go by yourself. I wouldn't DREAM of going
there." Hotaru stormed off. ChibiUSA ran after her, dodging
crowds, strollers, and couples eating ice cream together in the
park.
"Taru! Wait!" She ran after her, and finally caught up.
She rested a hand on her lover's shoulder, forcing her to stop
walking. After taking a few deep breaths, ChibiUSA was ready to
begin. "Hotaru...please listen."
"I'm listening." Hotaru didn't want to be this way with
ChibiUSA, but she was angry. Why AMERICA of all places? That
country and it's inhabitants scared Hotaru more than anything else
in the world.
"I wanted to go with you there...for a vacation. Just the two
of us. And, when we came back, I wanted to tell...tell
everyone...about us." Chibi's face went red. Hotaru gasped.
"You did?"
"Yes, Taru-chan."
"Oh!" Hotaru gasped again. She was so happy...so incredibly
happy she could cry. Finally...everyone would know about the two of
them, and no one could come between the love they shared.
"Will you go with me then, Taru-chan?" ChibiUSA pulled her
best friend and lover close. "Please?"
Hotaru looked away, deciding. "Alright, Chibi. I'll go with
you. But...I'm really scared to go..."
"Don't worry. I'll be with you." She laughed, and soon
Hotaru joined in nervously. She hoped Chibi was right...and that
nothing would go wrong.
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"You mean you didn't tell anyone we were going together?"
Hotaru was outraged. "But you said you wanted me to come...and now
you won't tell a soul that we're going together?!" Hotaru picked
up her purse from Chibi's bed. "I can't believe you lied to all of
them Chibi!"
"I didn't want them to know about us..."
Hotaru could have grabbed her. She really could have.
"CHIBI! You're telling me that you didn't even tell them we're
going to America together...and that you're just going to come out
easily when we come back? Oh, but you wouldn't dream of even
hinting at it before. Let's just surprise everyone. I don't
understand you, ChibiUSA!"
"Taru-chan, it's not easy to spring this news on them. I
don't want them to know I'm gay!" Chibi had spit the words out,
not thinking. Now she regretted them, and wished she hadn't spoken
at all.
"Gay?! Is that it?! GAY?! Oh, so it doesn't matter that
we're in love at all. That doesn't mean anything to you. If I was
a man, would it be easier to tell everyone about us?!" She got up
so that she was eye level with ChibiUSA.
"Well...yeah, it would be easier if you were a man." Chibi
agreed. She did a mental head slap afterwards, wishing yet again
that she had shut up.
"Oh, grow up Chibi-chan. Grow up. I'm tired of hiding, I'm
tired of waiting for you. I'm tired of sitting around, wasting my
time with you because you're afraid. We're in LOVE, ChibiUSA.
Does that mean nothing? We're in LOVE. And still, you don't tell
anyone. Not even Diana. But now, you want me to go somewhere I
REALLY don't want to go with the promise that you'll tell everyone
later. If it's so hard for you to tell your friends that we're
just going on a trip together, how hard will it be to admit we're
in love?" Chibi didn't have an answer to that. She stepped around
her bed and looked out her window, her back away from her lover.
"Chibi-chan, I love you. But I refuse to sit around and listen to
promises that will only be broken." Chibi heard her walk to the
door. "Call me when you grow up."
The door slammed just as Chibi's first tear fell.
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Diana hopped onto her friend's bed, purring. ChibiUSA had
not moved from that bed for days, she would just sit there and cry.
Diana knew about the fight she had with Hotaru, but didn't know it
had been that serious...
Diana nudged her friend with her small furry head. She
purred louder out of concern, and laid against her. What was wrong
with her? She had never seen Chibi like this, ever.
Hotaru and Chibi had been best friends for over three years
now. They spent the night with each other almost every night, they
would stay up into the wee hours of the morning discussing things
that the little cat was foreign to. She knew that Chibi and Hotaru
were closer than they let on in public...they talked about love and
said they loved each other a lot. The little cat would be
underneath her friend's bed, and then she would hear it.
"I love you, Chibi-chan."
"I love you too, Taru-chan."
On and on that would go, and she would hear moans and sighs
and noises she couldn't place. She hadn't known what to make of
it, and her innocent cat ears didn't know what it was. She had
thought, though, that they could possibly be...
No, she shook her head. Not the two of them, they're just
best friends.
Something nagged at her little kitty brain, but she pushed it
aside. They couldn't be IN love...with each other...could they?
She hopped off of Chibi's bed and ran out of the house. She
would have to ask her mother, Luna.
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Hotaru sat on her bed, crying her eyes out. Should she have
been so hard on her ChibiUSA? She didn't even know if she could
call her that anymore...her Chibi. Was that gone forever now? She
didn't know. She balled up the sheets on her bed in her
frustration as the tears tumbled down, salty beads that would hang
on her chin before dropping onto her already tear-stained pillow.
"Hotaru!" She heard a voice calling her. She recognized it
almost immediately, and wiped her tears away.
"Yes Luna?"
"May I come in?" Hotaru got up to answer her door, and the
little black cat walked inside. She watched her friend as Hotaru
sat down once again upon the bed, and walked up next to her on it.
"Hotaru...is something wrong?" Luna asked gently.
"No, I'm fine." Hotaru lied. She didn't want to tell
everyone why she was crying...not if Chibi wasn't ready. She
realized, with a pang to her heart, that she didn't want to hurt
Chibi. No, she didn't.
"Taru-chan, something IS wrong with you. Chibi hasn't gone
out of her room for days now, and you seem to be crying all of the
time. Now, I realize you had a fight, but I didn't know it was
this serious. And, Diana seems to suspect..." She stopped herself
before she carried on. She didn't want to address the issue just
yet. Also, what if they WEREN'T lovers? That would be a horrible
embarrassment...
"We just had a really bad fight, that's all." Hotaru played
with her now torn up Kleenex.
"Don't lie to me, Hotaru. I recognize the look in your eyes.
I want to know what's going on, before the both of you get any more
depressed." Luna's voice was stern, and she wished she didn't have
to be this way. But she wasn't going to let ChibiUSA and Hotaru
cry for the rest of the summer.
Hotaru began to sob again. "Chibi...Chibi didn't want anyone
to know yet. I can't...I won't...break my promise to her."
"Then I'll just have to ask Chibi." Luna walked out of the
room, leaving Hotaru alone once again.
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"Luna! I told you, nothing's wrong with me. I just had a
fight with my best friend and it upsets me. Now please, leave me
alone!" Chibi yelled at her friend. Luna grew angry at this, and
wished she weren't just a little cat. It would be more helpful if
she could just grab ChibiUSA and shake her until she talked. But
that wouldn't work right now, would it?
Luna walked on all fours until she was right in front of
Serena's future daughter. She knew that this was her princess, and
she should be treated with respect. But that thought was far away
from her now. "Chibi-chan, listen to me. Hotaru is sitting in her
room, crying as well. She told me she couldn't tell me what was
going on because she promised you she wouldn't. Now, either you
tell me, or you lose her forever."
Chibi gulped. Is this what Hotaru meant? Growing up? She
didn't know. If it was, growing up sucked. But she did know that
she loved Hotaru, and that they both needed each other more than
ever. "Alright, Luna. I'll tell you." She swallowed hard again.
"But you have to promise not to tell anyone else. I'm...I'm not sure
if I'm ready for anyone to know yet..."
"Alright, ChibiUSA. I promise." Luna nodded her little head
and sat down, waiting to hear her friend's tale.
"Well, it all started in May. I was spending the night at
her house, like I usually did on the weekends. And...and I began to
feel strangely about her that day. I didn't know why...but I did.
And, in the morning, I accidentally rolled over on her. I woke up
and I was on top of her, and I tried to pull away, and we ended up
all tangled up on the floor. It was really embarrassing...but it was
something more." She sighed and looked away from Luna.
"Go on..."
"That...that day, we both realized that we...loved each other,
and not just as friends."
Luna almost gasped. She had suspected it...along with Diana,
after seeing the way the two looked at each other. But she hadn't
KNOWN it.
"Luna, I love her. I'm in love with her. But I didn't know
how to tell anyone...I was scared. I still am. But I'm not as
scared of the world finding out, I'm scared of losing her. Oh
Luna, please, help me!" ChibiUSA began to cry again. She hunched
over, still maintaining her sitting position on her bed, but was
crying into her hands and knees. Luna watched, trying to offer
some comfort...but didn't know how to.
"Chibi-chan...I can't just help you with this. You really hurt
her. If you want her back, you have to tell everyone yourself. Go
to Usagi and Mamoru, tell them. Tell the Senshi, tell everyone.
Then and only then will Hotaru come back to you." Luna got up and
hopped off the bed. "And you shouldn't be so afraid to tell
everyone. We love you, ChibiUSA, and we wouldn't say or do
anything to hurt you or the person you love. Whoever that may be."
Luna walked silently out of the room.
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ChibiUSA stood in front of the airline gate, waiting for
boarding to start. She had her ticket with her and was ready to
head off to America...but the thought that Hotaru wouldn't be joining
her foreshadowed the exciting journey. She almost began to cry,
but stopped herself.
She had told everyone. She told Usagi...she told Mamoru, and
they had listened with caring expressions. They told her they
loved her, and that they supported her no matter what. The same
with everyone else...Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, Setsuna, Michiru,
Haruka, Artemis, Diana...everyone. They had all told her the same
thing...that they loved her and supported to.
But she didn't have the guts to tell Hotaru what she had
done. She had hoped...briefly...that Hotaru would come running back to
her, all open arms and tears and happiness shining in her yes...if
she just told everyone. That was what Hotaru wanted, right? For
everyone to know about the two of them. But obviously that wasn't
the only thing. She hadn't seen Hotaru, or talked to her, or even
heard about her for three weeks now...three weeks after she confessed
her deepest secret.
"Rows 14 through 24 may now enter the plane." A voice over
an intercom informed her. She looked down at her ticket once more,
but she didn't need to. Row 15, seat B. Great...the middle. She'd
be squished between two fat sweaty business men for sure.
The thought almost made her laugh. She didn't know if she
could still laugh...if Hotaru wasn't there to laugh along with her.
ChibiUSA looked down at the floor as the line inched forward. But,
some noise, or maybe it was the tugging at her heart, made her look
up.
She searched the airport's boarding area, and nothing seemed
to have changed since the last time she had looked. But...she felt
something in her soul, telling her to keep looking.
Her heart swelled. Tears of happiness came to her eyes.
"CHIBI!!! WAIT FOR ME!!!" Hotaru was running through the
crowds, a ticket and carry-on bag in hand. She was crying tears of
happiness herself, and her arms were open. Chibi could have run
into them.
"HOTARU!!!!" She screamed back. She didn't care about the
stares anymore. She really didn't.
Hotaru ran into her lovers arms, and Chibi picked her up off
of the ground. She spun her lover around, making the people around
her back up in fear of being hit. When she did put Hotaru down,
both girls were smiling and laughing and crying. "Oh Chibi...I love
you!" Hotaru threw her arms around ChibiUSA's neck.
"I love you too, Hotaru." Chibi kissed her then, right in
the airport. No more panic, no more cares...all she knew was that
she loved Hotaru, and they were going to America together.
Who cares what the future will bring...all I know is that I
love you, Hotaru.
I guess this is growing up.
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WHEW!! Damn!! That took meeh a long ass time. Ok...my poor
hands are so sore from typing! oh well. I hereby dedicate this
story to the Amazoness Duo (or Quartet...whatever) and their story,
"Aishiteru, ChibiUSA". I used some pieces from that story...(a.k.a.
where Chibi confesses to Luna what happened with her and
Hotaru)...and I would like to thank them for the wonderful fics they
made of the two of them! I hope I did it justice.
I hope you enjoyed! Oh, and just so everyone knows...if it
seems like there's a continuing pattern in my fics...that's because
there IS! I use songs as my inspiration, as well as people. This
is one of the few fics that I didn't dedicate to my friends...I have
moved to another state and seriously miss them...but I do have a lot
of time on my hands. So if you were wondering...yes, each story I
create will begin with pieces from a song. I would like to thank
all of the wonderful Hentai and Sekkushiaru Roman writers out
there...you have all done your part to make the world of Sailor Moon
a little more wonderful.
Thank you all!
~Psychokittensenshi611~
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