A Future Shaped by the Past (part 8 of 10)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by TruSuprise

Back to Part 7
Where the Sky and the Ocean Met

The yellow convertible crested a ridge in the cliff, its tires biting 
into the pavement of the oncoming lane as the blonde driver cornered at 
twice the recommended speed. She downshifted quickly, slamming the 
transmission from fifth gear and into third. The engine screamed with 
rapture as she floored the gas pedal and threw the car into the next 
turn. The wind whipped past her, howling in her ears.

Haruka refused to acknowledge its message.

Yet, as the small car lithely swung through the last of the mountain 
road's downhill hairpins, she was faced with the open span of ocean 
ahead of her. The mere sight of the ebb and flow of the waves calmed her 
ragged nerves and almost unthinkingly, her foot eased off the gas and 
her speed slowed to a more appropriate pace.

The wind ceased its howling as Haruka set the cruise control on the 
long, straight path ahead of her, her hazel eyes attracted to the 
sparkling waters that reached to the horizon.

She felt as if the sea was calling to her.

Haruka's heart skipped a beat. She felt like she was missing something. 
Taking one hand off the steering wheel, she did a pocket check, 
confirming she had her wallet. A quick pat of the passenger seat assured 
her that she had remembered her gym bag. What had caused the nagging 
feeling of forgetfulness?

As her eyes trailed to the horizon, where the sky and the ocean met, a 
sudden wave of incompleteness swallowed the blonde haired woman.

flashback

Her senshi communicator came to life, but she disregarded the alarm. She 
had already known something was wrong. The bond she had formed with her 
partner had become a tangible object and had already alerted her to 
trouble. She had transformed into Sailor Uranus and had fled for the 
throne room before the others had even summoned her.

"Where is Neptune?" Uranus' deep shout ricocheted off the throne room 
walls, causing Queen Serenity and the inner senshi to recoil in 
surprise.

Worry and frustration rolled off Uranus in visible gusts of wind and the 
inner senshi convened on the unstable force, forming a living barrier 
between the senshi of the wind and their Queen. The Uranian stood tall 
as she stared down Venus, unappreciative of their protective measures.

Serenity turned from her console, her knowledgeable blue eyes relaying a 
sense of calm. "She's injured, but she'll be alright, Uranus." The brash 
outer senshi sighed audibly. "She's just returned to the medical bay 
with Sailor Pluto."

Uranus bowed her head slightly in thanks before storming from the room, 
the inner senshi almost thrown from their feet from the winds of anxiety 
she generated.

----------

The blonde scowled, being met with the opposition of Sailor Pluto at the 
door to Neptune's medical room. Uranus stood toe to toe with Pluto, 
obviously unhappy that the garnet eyed woman had an inch advantage on 
her.

"You would do best to calm down before approaching her, Uranus." Pluto 
said calmly. The Uranian before her was just as close a friend, family 
even, as Neptune was to her, but it simply wouldn't do to have her 
injured ally worked up by her nervous lover.

Uranus deflated slightly, considering her error and not wanting to add 
to Neptune's discomfort. She took a moment to stall herself and learn 
what had happened before barging forward as she wanted. "Tell me what 
happened." She barked at her ally, realizing her speech had yet to catch 
up to her intentions.

Pluto cocked an eyebrow. At least Uranus was trying. "As you know, 
Neptune and I were on a peace treaty to Earth to give them one last 
chance to join the unified planets of the Moon Kingdom. Their initial 
desire to join us had waned in previous years, though we know not why."

She paused suddenly, hearing a growl from Uranus once she had uttered 
the name of the blue planet. "See? This is why you were left out of the 
loop and made to wait on the Moon. Control your temper, Uranus." The 
Guardian of Time scolded.

Uranus' jaw clicked shut audibly. Setsuna and Michiru were the only two 
who could put in her place, after all.

"The Earthlings had set a trap." Pluto finally continued.

Uranus bared her teeth in a primal gesture. "A trap!" She exclaimed. 
"Damnit, Pluto, you and Neptune both knew there was unease from that 
damned Planet! I told you two not to go and look what happened!"

"Uranus...?"

The blonde's body went rigid as her ears picked up the quiet, weak voice 
of her partner from the room Pluto protected.

Unable to meet the senshi of the wind's eyes, the Guardian of Time 
stepped away from the door, allowing her friend to pass. Uranus didn't 
hesitate. Wasting no time, she entered the room brashly.

The small space was dimly lit but Uranus was relieved to find Neptune 
less injured than she had feared. Scratches and bruises peppered her 
exposed skin, but thanks to her senshi powers, she seemed otherwise 
uninjured. Nonetheless, it was little consolation to the worried Uranus 
as she slid next to Neptune's bedside, where her partner gazed up at her 
with tired, cobalt eyes, her breathing shallow and slow.

The senshi of the wind's anger and frustration suddenly drained once 
seeing the state of her partner. Slowly, Uranus' hand reached out and 
touched Neptune's cheek gently, as though the aqua haired woman were 
made of porcelain. As Neptune looked up at her worriedly, Uranus shut 
her eyes. Not trusting herself to say the right words, the sandy haired 
woman merely leant down to enclose her lover in a gentle embrace.

"I'm sorry I worried you, Uranus." Neptune said quietly. Her hoarse 
voice in the quiet room caused Uranus to tighten her hold around her as 
though someone threatened to take her away. "Apparently, Queen Beryl and 
the Shitennou aren't interested in being a part of the Moon Kingdom 
anymore. We had barely set foot on Terran soil when a concussion grenade 
was thrown from the crowds. The initial blast had rendered me 
unconscious. I learned afterwards that it was Endymion who helped Pluto 
and I escape, though I don't think the Queen and his generals know he 
did so. At least now we know more of the unease from Earth."

Uranus only buried her head further into Neptune's wavy hair, the 
halting explanation of what had occurred on Earth seemingly meaningless.

The cobalt eyed woman stroked her partner's arm, nut her brows met with 
worry as she felt the strong muscles of Uranus' shoulders tremble. The 
Neptunian assumed her partner was angry. "Don't be mad at Pluto, it 
wasn't her fault. She couldn't have foreseen this any more than I could 
have pinpointed my sense of unease. The future is changing, Uranus."

The silence stretched on, Uranus still loosely embracing her lover as 
though she had barely registered Neptune's words, while Neptune merely 
continued to try to soothe Uranus' strange unease.

"Ara, Uranus, are you okay?" Neptune finally asked. She tried to look at 
her lover to gauge her expression, but Uranus continued to hide her face 
behind her long, unruly bangs.

The senshi of the ocean was sure that her lover wouldn't reply when her 
familiar husky voice finally broke the mounting silence between them.

"I had this feeling that... I thought... I thought I'd lost you." 
Uranus' voice was quiet and broken, and she trembled uncontrollably in 
Neptune's arms. The reality of their duty to the throne had never been 
as clear as it was at that moment, and the implication shook Uranus to 
her core. She tried to drown a sniffle and a choked cry into the pillow 
that supported her partner.

A small, understanding smile tugged at Neptune's lips as she soothed her 
lover with renewed fervor. "Shhh." She repeated over and over again like 
a mantra as she ran her hands along Uranus' arms and allowed the blonde 
woman to freely cry on her shoulder. Never had the strong, flippant 
woman been reduced to tears, and Neptune couldn't help but cry along 
with her, the shock of the attack on Earth and the impact of receiving 
her lover's raw emotions suddenly hitting home.

Finally, the aqua haired woman gently took Uranus' face in her hands and 
forced her to look at her. She scowled at the guilt she found in the 
tall woman's features. She'd have to address that later, and she knew 
just how to do so, but first was the task of reassuring her partner.

Running her fingers through Uranus' long, thick bangs, Neptune smiled 
confidently at her partner, gaining the smallest of smiles in return 
from her lover. Neptune's voice was a whisper when it left her lips.

"I won't leave you, Haruka. I promise."

/flashback

The soft sound of the familiar woman's voice lingered in Haruka's ears. 
This woman had been a part of her life... her past life. As Haruka's 
hazel eyes turned back to the sparkling ocean, noticing the wind 
sweeping the waves to the shore, she realized that there was no longer 
any denying the fact.

Though the mere thought would have terrified her only days before as had 
the visions of the silence and the first memories of the strangely 
familiar woman she'd experienced, a small smile now pulled at Haruka's 
lips. Blissfully, she allowed the recent emotions of reassurance, caring 
and an overwhelming sense of love, to envelop her warmly.

She could no longer ignore her past. Her past life. There was no doubt 
of the depth of love she had felt in return for the aqua haired woman.

But there was also fear. Fear of losing this woman. This Neptune. This 
Michiru. The aqua haired woman's words echoed in her head.

'I won't leave you, Haruka. I promise.'

The blonde haired woman suddenly frowned, the warm emotions she had 
previously basked in suddenly draining from her as her features slipped 
into unease.

"But you did leave me, didn't you?" Haruka's quiet whisper was stolen by 
the wind that once again howled in her ears as she turned from her 
destiny. Her expression hardened and her fingers tightened around the 
steering wheel.

In her past life, Haruka had been Neptune's partner and Michiru's lover. 
'Then, if history were to repeat itself, what does that mean for my 
future?' Haruka asked herself suspiciously.

A phantom chill sent a shiver down Haruka's spine, despite the warm 
spring day. "The silence." She spat, remembering an unspecified duty and 
an expectation that could not be met. Goosebumps rose on her bare arms 
as a sudden, intense wave of loneliness crashed down on her like a 
breaking wave.

Haruka pushed the image of Neptune from her mind, once again hardening 
her resolve. She would not allow duty or even destiny to ruin her life 
once again.

Realizing she was ascending into the mountains again, Haruka cursed 
under her breath when she realized how off course she had become. She 
had wandered far too long and was now threateningly late for a track 
meet. Her eyes narrowed and a smile pulled at her lips. A quick heel-toe 
motion across the brake and gas pedal caused her car to lurch and she 
whipped the lithe vehicle into a quick u-turn, flooring it on the road 
back to Tokyo.

----------

Michiru stood on the sidelines, quiet in the buzz of the spectators 
before the track race. Introverted and anxious, she retreated into 
herself and even for all of her intense beauty, she became lost in the 
crowd of people. Today was the day, and she hoped she had planned it 
well. Setsuna had given her her approval and her own sixth sense had 
urged her. It was time to approach Haruka. There was no turning back.

All eyes turned as the last racer approached the track. A hushed awe 
settled over the masculine form of a blonde haired woman. Tenoh Haruka 
had arrived.

Michiru caught Elza's eye. The red haired girl stood confidently next to 
Haruka on the starting blocks. Elza winked and gave the aqua haired 
woman on the sidelines a thumbs up, a toothy grin on her tanned face. 
Michiru's plan had been set into motion. Such an elementary approach to 
such a monumental meeting of powers. Of lovers.

Michiru swallowed a lump in her throat as she glanced back to Haruka. 
She couldn't help but notice that the handsome woman's eyes looked 
frightened.

It was then that a pain, deep inside Michiru's chest made itself known 
and her hand reached up to her heart distractedly. Her cobalt eyes never 
wavering from the object of her affection, she asked herself if it was 
even possible to feel such depth of emotion for another, even though 
they had yet to meet... did she really love the Haruka of the present?

'I loved Haruka in my past life, but could I also love this cold shell 
of a woman she's become?' She asked herself, looking deeper into her 
would be partner's troubled hazel eyes.

"Yes." The din of the crowd stole her whispered affirmation.

'Because the Haruka I know, the Self she's hiding, is there. And if only 
I have the strength to help her, perhaps we can build a new love in this 
age. Together.'
vision

She looked back in horror as the building next to her crumbled and 
imploded into itself, only to get carried away by the gale force winds 
to the gaping vortex behind her. The heat suffocated her, closing her 
lungs as her world crumbled around her feet. Although Neptune's 
silhouette shone brightly in the distance, she was powerless to stop the 
approach of the silence.

/vision

Haruka gasped and ground her teeth angrily as she forced away the images 
of the silence that had entered her mind unbidden. Forcing her destiny 
and would be partner away, she crouched into starting position, yet the 
warmth of the track heated by the mid-day sun was insufficient to ease 
her worries.

The gunshot exploded to her right. She took off with an uncalculated 
velocity as though with speed alone she could push her worries and fears 
from her mind. The finish line loomed ahead of her, her only goal in her 
mundane life. Her eyes unseeing, her ears unhearing, her mind 
unthinking, Haruka's legs and arms pounded opposite each other in hopes 
of escaping the mortal world.

All too quickly, the tape broke across her chest and the roar of the 
crowd filled her ears. She was forced to return to reality. Winning the 
race had been a breeze, despite the wind that had threatened to hold her 
back. Some things, even her element couldn't decide for her.

Haruka numbly acknowledged the congratulations, heard her name from the 
stands and felt her familiar cocky grin on her face. At least her mask 
was as reliable as her speed with which she ran from herself. She laced 
seemingly flippant fingers through long golden bangs.

"Tenoh Haruka!"

The tall blonde spun to the sound of her name, the voice that had called 
her slightly familiar. Haruka recognized Elza immediately. The red 
haired girl looked unfazed by her defeat, as though she carried an 
ulterior motive. Haruka's unquestioning gaze didn't deter her cheerful 
competitor from speaking her mind.

"There's someone I'd like you to meet." She began, not noticing Haruka 
roll her hazel eyes, assuming she'd be introduced to another enamored 
fan drawn to her by the allure of her popularity. "Michiru, come on!" 
Elza finally shouted.

Although her confident expression managed to remain non pulsed, Haruka 
swallowed audibly, her breath catching in her throat, her heart beating 
wildly in her chest. The howling wind that had filled her ears for weeks 
suddenly ceased. A blessed silence heralded by a petite girl with an 
astounding beauty, she moved fluidly through the crowds with inherent 
grace and quiet sophistication. The girl's shoulder length aqua hair and 
piercing cobalt eyes were a beacon that Haruka couldn't ignore. In any 
lifetime.

'It's her, isn't it? She's found me.' Haruka found herself wondering and 
suddenly, the image of the silence, always a part of her mind, no longer 
contained nightmarish images of a future that could not be averted. 
Instead, the future Tokyo shined brightly, as if protected by two strong 
individuals. By Neptune, and herself as Uranus.

Suddenly Haruka struggled with an uncontrollable and inexplicable desire 
to pull the aqua haired girl into her arms and she barely noticed that 
Elza continued to speak. Her hazel eyes made contact with the other 
girl's cobalt ones and the blonde realized that their depths resembled 
the bottomless ocean and that in them, Haruka felt small and 
insignificant. She was not good enough for this woman. The image of 
beauty suddenly reminded her of a tragedy long forgotten as her wonder 
and appreciation of the woman before her spiraled into confusion and 
mistrust.

"This is Michiru Kaioh. She's extremely intelligent and a brilliant 
painter. She wants to meet you." Elza said lightly, the intense 
chemistry between the two girls not going unnoticed.

'Michiru? But that was the name of-' Haruka thought to herself, only to 
be interrupted by the aqua haired girl.

"You didn't break a sweat." Michiru stated, her very voice music to the 
other woman's ears. "I think you were holding back, weren't you?"

Haruka swallowed, maintaining her perfect mask as she struggled for an 
answer, not wanting her own voice to ruin the music that Michiru's made. 
It was a familiar voice, one that reminded her of warmth and closeness, 
of a past lover, even. Haruka connected their names, her brow furrowing 
at the coincidence that her dream lover of a past life could share the 
same name as this new girl who currently sought her out. But this 
Michiru was shy and slightly nervous, making Haruka feel awkward, as 
though conversation should have come naturally between them, 
passionately even. But was the strange disconnect she felt the fault of 
the girl opposite her, or was it her own?

The sweat that Haruka hadn't felt on the track now beaded on her 
forehead, suddenly unsure of herself. She owed this girl a reply. "What 
do you mean?" Her reply was flippant, avoiding.

Michiru's eyes narrowed suspiciously, her tone lowering with cryptic 
suggestion. "You can hear the wind rustling, can't you?"

That voice, full of seriousness, carried a dangerous edge to it that 
Haruka immediately recognized. It was that of Neptune. The winds once 
again roared in Haruka's ears and the blonde woman imagined the smell of 
soot and broken concrete, the heat of the silence surrounding her was 
suffocating. An image then came unbidden into her head and Haruka 
imagined the smell of burnt flesh and an army of mindless soldiers and a 
mythical monster that led the destruction of a foreign place...

Haruka banished such thoughts, their intensity threatening to overwhelm 
her. Instead, she focused on the woman in front of her. This Neptune in 
disguise threatened to take her, to steal her from a destiny of motor 
sports, to thrust her into a downward spiral of pain and loneliness as 
she had in her last life.

There was no doubt left in Haruka's mind, just as she had been in her 
previous existence, this Michiru was also Neptune. A shiver raced down 
her back as she struggled to maintain her impenetrable cocky smirk.

Haruka snorted, pretending she didn't understand her would-be partner's 
secret message. "You're strange. What do you want of me?" She recoiled 
at the harshness of her tone, dismayed that the serene girl in front of 
her did the same as well, though the challenging glint in her cobalt 
eyes seemed to say that she expected to be met with resistance.

Michiru's fingers clutched her sketchpad tightly. "Would you be a model 
for my painting?" Her words were unhalting as she used her haughty 
expression to hide worry and anxiety. Her high hopes for their meeting 
were beginning to slip through her fingers as Haruka continuously 
brushed her off with every word she seemingly confidently uttered.

"Pass." Haruka said lightly, almost surprised by her ability to reject 
her while standing so close to she who tempted her so greatly. The wind, 
nonexistent to those around her, battered her form mercilessly as she 
turned her back to destiny. Once again, she ignored her element's 
message. "I don't like that kind of thing."

Ignoring the pain of the warring emotions that threatened to consume 
her, Haruka closed her eyes as she turned, unable to meet Michiru's hurt 
gaze. Walking away with wide, boyish strides, she wanted to run. For she 
knew that if she had turned to look into those disappointed cobalt eyes 
to find the pain that she had caused, she would have crumbled and run 
back to she who wanted her help, she who needed her by her side. She who 
would also cause her pain...

No. Haruka would not join this would be partner, would not chose the 
pain and anguish associated with Neptune's image, even if that were to 
mean shunning the love she sensed Michiru felt for her. Perhaps the love 
she might have felt for that woman in return, if only she could 
remember...

'Remember what?' Haruka spat to herself. Pushing away thoughts, memories 
that threatened to surface, finally, her resolve hardened.

In this life, it was not her destiny to play that role. She would not 
cast aside her comfortable melancholic apathy, would not entertain the 
idea of experiencing anything other than what she had known. She was 
incapable of being what Neptune or even Michiru needed, and she knew, 
were she to try, even though the specifics were hidden from her, she 
felt that destiny would deal whatever same terrible blow as it had in 
her last, futile existence.

----------

For all her outward composure, Michiru's heartbeat raced wildly, her 
blood pumped fiercely, her fingers were shaking. The pain of rejection 
stung desperately. As she watched her would be partner casually retreat, 
she felt the urge to run to her, throw her arms around her strong 
shoulders, beg her to return, to rethink, to remember.

Michiru's cobalt eyes narrowed. Haruka had known who she was. She had 
sensed it, had sensed the blonde's initial reaction of surprise and 
longing once she had first laid eyes on her. For just a split second, 
Michiru felt Haruka. Not the cold and bitter woman who wore the face of 
her lover of the past, but the woman she had first fallen in love with, 
the woman buried underneath that harsh exterior.

Only, Haruka's startled hopefulness at her familiarity had quickly 
disintegrated as soon as she had mentioned the winds, as soon as she had 
mentioned duty, and Michiru had realized that Haruka was afraid of her 
destiny and of her duty.

The aqua haired woman frowned. She didn't believe that her reluctant 
lover of ages past understood the difference between the two. She led 
herself to the conclusion that, when Uranus' mind had turned on her 
eight hundred years ago, the woman's disintegrating mind began to 
associate both duty and destiny with fear and loathing. She must have 
felt that duty had brought forth the destructive forces of that which 
had destroyed the Moon Kingdom, that which had threatened all she held 
dear, and that destiny was what had made living on without her partner 
so difficult. The blonde had immediately shied away then, hiding her 
initial reaction to Michiru behind strongly fortified barriers 
constructed so long ago.

She had scared her away.

A soft hand on Michiru's shoulder startled her. "Don't let her get to 
you." Elza said with a conspirator's smile. "I haven't even been able to 
have that much of a conversation with her yet. From what I hear, she's 
pretty cocky like that."

A small smile touched Michiru's lips. "At least some things haven't 
changed." She whispered.

A seed of hope blossomed in the petite girl's chest, slowly expelling 
the disappointment and hurt that lingered there. Fueled by her powerful 
intuition, Michiru believed that Haruka wanted her help, needed her help 
to once again become the woman she had been before the fall of the 
Silver Millennium. After all, it was true that Haruka's confident 
cockiness was a direct parallel to her persona of their past lives, and 
after even just for the shortest moment that Michiru had felt the true 
persona of Haruka, there was no doubt that the rest of her frightened 
lover's persona was there too, hidden behind layers of barriers that 
Haruka herself had erected.

All she had to do was figure out how to break them down and free Haruka 
from her confines, and then, help her to understand that destiny and 
duty were not what she thought them to be.

"So, if she approached me in this life, then that means that Haruka's 
real personality is still there, locked away at the bottom of her soul, 
right?" Michiru's own hopeful words from only days earlier echoed in her 
head, and now she had additional evidence to prove her theory.

"I'm sorry, Michiru, did you say something?" Elza asked, looking at her 
friend with furrowed brows.

Michiru looked up, realizing she had spoken aloud. "Oh, no, nothing. 
Come, Elza, I owe you lunch." A bright, honest smile on her face, 
Michiru led her companion in the opposite direction that her would be 
partner had retreated.

----------

Author's Notes:

I know the flashbacks in this chapter, and the ones that will come 
afterwards don't adhere to the chronological timeline I've established 
(considering that you've all already learned how the Silver Millennium 
ended). However, like in some of the other flashbacks in earlier 
chapters, I've decided to place them outside the chronological Silver 
Millennium timeline for the impact to their corresponding characters in 
the future. I hope it's not too confusing.

----------

Preview, Chapter 9:

The quiet murmurings of the crowd breathed a collective gasp as the 
sound of a brilliant violin caught their attention. The spotlights 
turned to the stage where they illuminated an elegant, young, aqua 
haired woman. Resplendent in her ivory gown, her graceful fingers coaxed 
gentle music from her violin.

It was music that Haruka didn't hear as her breath stuck in her throat. 
Caught between intensely warring emotions, the urge to run both to and 
from the cobalt eyed woman ravaged her. Fate had determined that they 
meet again. Fate had given her another chance to accept this woman who 
needed her so desperately.

Fate was meddling in affairs that Haruka wanted no part of.

The graceful woman stood on the stage as though she were the only person 
on the yacht. Her confident presence commanded respect and her 
calculated motions spoke with maturity. Though she didn't make eye 
contact with her captive audience, Haruka understood that her would-be 
partner knew that she was amongst the crowd. She would come for her. 
Soon.

Onwards to Part 9


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