A Future Shaped by the Past Blood splattered across her fuku as the senshi of the ocean destroyed all three youma before her. As their beastly bodies faded into nothingness, Neptune collapsed onto her knees. Her breath came in short, ragged gasps and sweat dripped from her brow from the half hour effort to defeat the latest youma threat. It was a testament that the monsters were getting stronger, and that, though her own senshi skills had greatly improved, her increased abilities could not make up for her lack of a partner by her side. Long fingers met her temples soothingly as Neptune reminded herself of the conclusion she had reached a week ago. That, in this life, there was no one to fill the duty of Uranus, that the Haruka of this age was not destined to be by her side. Destiny and duty were two terms that the blackened shell of Uranus didn't seem to understand... But it didn't matter. Despite the pain her decision had caused her, she had decided to set her would be partner and lover free. In her exhaustion from battle, Neptune's power drained from her body like sand through her fingers. A quiet half-chuckle, half-sob escaped Michiru's lips as she was left kneeling in the deserted construction site. Even the powerful ripple that charged the atmosphere and heralded the arrival of an ally couldn't hope to raise her spirits. "You're a bit late." Michiru said, bitterness lacing her voice as she met her friend's garnet gaze. "You usually show up when I need you the most." Pluto frowned at her hopeless ally, caught off guard by the frustration in the small woman's voice. "That's precisely why I'm here right now." Michiru averted her eyes in Pluto's deadly serious gaze. In the past week since Haruka had again refused her, Pluto had frequently come to her aid in battle against the nameless youma that heralded a great evil and Michiru had successfully evaded her age-old friend's careful questioning for the entirety of that time. After all, the Guardian of the Time Gate was sure to know the outcome of her no-so-fateful meeting with Haruka. But the look in her friend's eyes now told her that the subject could no longer be avoided. "Why don't you go to her?" It was more a statement than a question that the formidable Pluto commanded. "Isn't it obvious?" Michiru's brow furrowed as she picked herself up off the ground, a hurtful betrayal lacing her voice. "Haruka made it very clear that she doesn't want me meddling in her life." Pluto met her friend's defiance. "That was the shell of Uranus talking, not Haruka. You know better, Michiru." The aqua haired girl snorted, trying for apathy and flippancy but conveying hopelessness. "Look Pluto, neither one of them wants anything to do with destiny or duty. The least I can do is grant Haruka her wish." Pluto approached her saddened friend slowly. Michiru's despair was complicating matters. It was not Michiru's nature to give up so easily. It appeared that fate was beginning to warp and twist her the same as it had Uranus after Neptune's death at the end of the Silver Millennium. Not only did the fate of the world hang in the balance without the powerful alliance of Neptune and Uranus in this new age, but also the fate of the well being of Pluto's best friends. Her family. Laying a hand on her fellow senshi's shoulder, the sapphire haired woman walked a thin line to try to help her friend see the error in her ways. "Haruka's wish is null and void. The confusion in Uranus' mind eight hundred years ago obviously distorted such importance as destiny and duty. You can't rely on her to understand it's meaning, you have to show her." Michiru's mouth clicked shut audibly. Even Pluto suspected as much, and was even urging her to try again. She finally met her ally's garnet eyes to find hope and confidence there. Pluto smiled. "Wasn't is Uranus herself who asked you not to give up on her?" "We're destined to fight this Silence together, you and I. But I'm afraid the Uranus of this time isn't ready to meet you, Neptune, and I'm not sure she will ever be ready. I'm sorry, but please don't give up hope." The aqua haired girl gasped. Pluto was right. Uranus had approached her in a dream, in a nightmare future that she, as Neptune, swore to help eliminate. "But..." The senshi of time went off on a tangent. "Of course, it wasn't just the shell of Uranus who reached out to you, it was the embodiment of who Uranus once was. Think about it, Michiru, the real Haruka contacted you then. You know she's still there, hidden behind the walls that the shell of Uranus had constructed eight hundred years after the fall of the Silver Millennium, when she had become distorted to the point of pushing away her destiny and duty. The Haruka who knows and loves you is still there, Michiru." Michiru couldn't help but be swept up in Pluto's hopeful tirade, becoming lost in her excited expression as her friend's excitement grew. She had already suspected all of this, yet Haruka's refusal to join her had darkened her hope. Even with Pluto's encouragement, doubts still filled her mind. "But Pluto, I don't know how to get through to her." An honest smile tugged at the ancient woman's lips, confidence in her ally shone in her garnet eyes. "Just be yourself, Michiru." "Be myself?" The slight woman's brow furrowed as though saying such words for the first time in her life. Such a simple answer to such a complicated problem. Pluto nodded. "Only by being true to your persona of your past life will you be strong enough to help Haruka to understand that which she needs so desperately in this one." Michiru stood frozen, rooted to the ground as such implication shook her to her core. Pluto was right, by having modified her approach to dealing with a changed Haruka, how could she ever expect her lover of old to recognize not only who she once was, but who Haruka herself once was? She needed to be her truest self if Haruka was going to remember what they had shared, what they could share once again... But was she strong enough to face the cold and bitter woman once more? Suddenly, Michiru's senses went on full alert, every muscle in her body tensed and her cobalt eyes opened wide. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong... Haruka was in danger. "Pluto, I-" The Guardian of the Time Gate nodded knowingly and began to fade from the mundane plane. "Go." She said quietly, her words not even reaching Michiru's ears as the young woman ran, relying on her instincts to guide her. The high collar of the fireproof racing suit itched terribly as Haruka detachedly scratched at the back of her neck. Another race had been successfully won hours ago, but still she milled around the garage. Not wanting the company of her competitors, she found herself alone with her thoughts. The spotlights turned to the stage, illuminating an elegant, young, aqua haired woman. Resplendent in her ivory gown, her graceful fingers coaxed gentle music from her violin. Haruka's hands balled into tightly clasped fists as the image of the aqua haired woman again entered her mind unbidden. In the past week since she had seen her last, Haruka's tumultuous thoughts had lingered on Michiru, remembering her beauty and grace just as much as the frightening hidden message buried in her painting that had called her to a duty she had refused. Try as she might to push away all thoughts of she who was associated with completely opposite emotions, Haruka found she had been fighting a loosing battle. She even realized she longed track down the famous violinist, to see her just once more, even if from afar... Haruka spat viciously at her warring emotions, berating herself for spending so much time and energy on a future that she had already refused. A future that no matter what her mind had decided, her heart couldn't accept... Haruka's muscular frame froze as she focused all of her concentration on a struggling voice that just barely caught her attention. As if brought to her on the wind itself, the blonde ran after the distress call that had summoned her. "Is someone here?" Her brash voice precluded her appearance as she twisted under the half open door of a neighboring garage. Her confident expression slid into one of worry as she examined a lone boy in the middle of the garage. His brown bangs shielding his eyes, he seemed to be in much pain. "What's up, are you okay?" Haruka's voice sounded alien to her ears, a strong sense of foreboding crashing over her like a wave. Despite the cryptic circumstances, for having felt most of her life as though she were in the wrong place at the wrong time, she found that somehow, she now suddenly felt like she was in the right place at the right time. "Help!" The young boy struggled hoarsely before collapsing to his knees, grabbing at his chest as his humanoid body changed and shifted. Haruka's breath caught in her throat and she froze in terror as she found herself alone before a hideous monster with too many eyes and too many arms. "Youma!" She exclaimed. Falling back to an unknown instinct, Haruka's clammy hands reached for the object nearest her. She acknowledged the comforting weight of a crowbar definitively. She took a confident step towards the frightening monster, the crowbar in her right hand ready to swing when she suddenly remembered the boy the youma had originated from. The opportunistic monster took advantage of the woman's wavering resolve and lunged at the frozen blonde. Lightening quick reflexes allowed Haruka to raise her makeshift weapon, holding it before her defensively. The youma seemingly smirked at her, its horrid stench closing in on her nostrils as the piece of metal, insufficient to protect her from such a beast, was flung from her grasp. Her body stiff with fear, Haruka could almost feel the youma's razor like teeth on her skin when a glowing light caught her attention, causing the monster to pull back quickly as if fearful of whatever secrets the light promised. Before the blonde's wide, hazel eyes hovered the light source, a glowing, ornate rod, an object she had never before seen but somehow understood. With an ancient, seemingly familiar power, it called to her. The world seemed to stop as her hand reached out to the powerful object numbly, the pull she felt from it too great to ignore, as though the rod itself were the key to all that would make her whole... "Don't!" A sharp, familiar voice pulled Haruka from her trance and the rod fell from mid air, clattering on the concrete floor with a metallic clang. Haruka's breath caught in her throat as she turned to an aqua haired girl framed by the doorway. The same aqua haired girl she had so desperately longed to see since their last meeting. It was Michiru, and Haruka was spellbound by her beauty. "Don't touch it!" Michiru urged. "Once you've touched it, you can never return to a normal life!" The aqua haired woman's pained voice conveyed the fact that although she didn't regret becoming a senshi herself, she understood Haruka's resistance. Haruka felt the urgency from the other woman, felt the pain the very words brought her as she spoke, and knew she was the cause of that pain. It was then, that before her eyes, Michiru's revealed the identity that the other woman had known she had harbored all along. In the span of a second, though to Haruka it felt numbingly slow, Michiru had raised a rod, similar to the one that she had urged her not to take, and had uttered a phrase so ancient that Haruka could almost remember its origin. The aqua haired girl was engulfed in light and color to be subsequently left in a scant outfit too familiar to be coincidence. Haruka found herself thinking that such an outfit on such a woman would undoubtedly have gotten herself into much trouble... And yet there she stood in front of her. Sailor Neptune, her would be partner who she had refused not only in her dreams, but in real life. A shiver ran down Haruka's spine, intense emotions of fear and loneliness brought by her image slammed into her like a tangible force and she was left breathless. Yet, for as much as her mind wanted her to run, her heart kept her feet rooted. Her heart begged her to wait and listen to what Neptune would say, and for once, as if this woman's words may be more important than anything Haruka had ever heard in any life, the blonde complied. In a blink of an eye, the blonde was pulled from her thoughts as the monster, now recovered, lunged towards them. Neptune took action, and the youma was thrown backwards by the incredible power she possessed, slamming into a wall at the back of the garage to land in a boneless heap. Although in awe, Haruka remembered the boy that surely still remained in the hideous body of the creature and she latched onto the diversion to keep her thoughts off joining the aqua haired woman. Even as Neptune prepared another attack, she stepped into her way purposefully. "Stop it!" The blonde's voice echoed in the empty space and both women froze, each questioning the meaning behind such powerful words until she could clarify herself. "This was a human being a little while ago! Are you okay... with killing people?" The tall woman was passionate, yet unsure. The words that reached her own ears sounded empty, as if some unnamed duty she had once known had demanded such obligation from her, an obligation that she had once willingly accepted... A duty she had refused in this life. Neptune's cobalt eyes couldn't quite hold Haruka's hazel gaze and she glanced away somewhat resignedly. She knew that in this life, without the full memories of her last, Haruka would not understand such a terrible necessity for the sacrifice of a few for the good of the whole. "The silence is approaching." The senshi of the ocean used the nightmare future, the visions she knew they both shared, as a crutch. "If I don't do this, there will be more sacrifices!" Haruka's eyes narrowed dangerously, her mind trying to interpret too many possibilities, both consciously and subconsciously. Meanwhile, her heart simply urged her to help this woman, to join her battle, to be by her side, as a partner and... something more. But that would be to accept a convoluted duty she didn't fully understand, a duty that frightened her. There was much she didn't understand... Could this woman with the cobalt eyes who seemed to understand her when she didn't even understand herself, have all the answers she needed? "So you don't choose this way?" Haruka's consciousness didn't understand the question she asked, but her heart did. And so did Neptune. Sensing that Haruka's subconscious was reaching out, as Uranus' had in a dream so long ago, she had to grab it, had to make the fearful Haruka understand that her duty as a senshi, her destiny as her lover, wasn't a choice... it was a requirement. Without each other, neither would be whole. For Michiru, there was no choice about loving Haruka or being Sailor Neptune any more than there was a choice to breathe the air she needed to survive. "No. I don't choose this way." Haruka frowned at such a simple answer, and while her heart was ready to accept Neptune's brief, yet powerful reply, her mind rebelled at the implications that she didn't want to accept. How could she throw away her life as she knew it for something that frightened her so? She'd always been alone. She was meant to be that way. 'No one could love me. I've always been alone.' Haruka's negative thoughts dragged her down, reinforced her resolve. The sound of the youma's scream as it charged was deafening and both women froze in horror when as it rapidly approached. Knowing she had made the same move many times over, instinct guided Neptune and she didn't hesitate as she threw herself in the youma's path. She could see the look of surprise on Haruka's face when she pushed the taller woman out of the way, the force her small frame was able to apply to Haruka's larger one surprising the other woman as the blonde tumbled backwards and into safety. With a detached sense of dread, Neptune felt the teeth and claws of the youma sink into her tender flesh and felt the warmth of her blood as it stained her fuku. Eyes wide and unbelieving, Haruka watched helplessly as the aqua haired girl took the blow that had been meant for her. A resounding shattering resonance, akin to the beginnings of a structure about to collapse, echoed in her mind as a memory suddenly flooded her senses. flashback "Haruka!" Neptune shouted, her arms pushing Uranus' form away from her. She breathed a sigh of relief when the blonde haired woman landed far enough away from her, but she knew there was no time left to save herself. A spark of blinding electricity arched through the sky and the air was suddenly alive with energy. It only took a second for Neptune to fall to the ground, unmoving. It had happened so fast that the aqua haired woman hadn't even had the chance to scream. With wide eyes, Uranus' jaw hung slack, unable to form words as she gaped in disbelief at the sight in front of her. /flashback Detachedly, Haruka realized she was reliving the single event in her past life that had shaped her into the person she had become. A person different than the one she was meant to be... "Deep Submerge!" At the sound of Neptune's voice laced with pain, Haruka's shaking frame snapped back to reality as she watched the senshi of the ocean deliver a powerful attack to her enemy. The aqua projectile, shaped for the planet she was named for, searched for the creature who had injured its mistress and with a deadly impact, engulfed and obliterated the threat. In the aftermath, the helpless boy from whom the monster had spawned lay unconscious on the floor. flashback Uranus found herself crawling on her hands and knees to her partner's fallen body, stunned and unfeeling as the brainwashed humans apathetically marched around and past their fallen forms. Detachedly, she noticed the dark form of the creature in the sky advance without a second glance, yet the shouts and screams of death that emerged from the Moon Palace barely phased Uranus at all as she pulled her partner into her arms gently. /flashback A powerful instinct guiding her, Haruka found herself crawling to Neptune where she knelt, exhausted and injured on the garage floor. Numbly, the blonde's arms went out, encircling Neptune in her warm embrace, pulling her back and cradling her injured form to her torso. The weight of the smaller woman felt familiar in her arms, and as Haruka looked down at the petite form that seemed to fit so perfectly within her embrace, a million images fought for prominence in Haruka's head, each vying for a turn at the forefront of her mind. Slowly, yet surely, the walls and barriers that held the memories of her past life hidden in the recesses of her mind began to break and crack, each memory that surfaced dislodging another formidable brick that held each barrier in place... The intrigue of an initial meeting with this cobalt eyed woman, a growing friendship, budding love, undeniable passion, a sense of duty as a senshi... all of it laid just beyond the reaches of her full understanding. "The monster?" Neptune asked, her voice tired and hoarse. The energy drain she had suffered while battling the previous youma battle was quickly catching up to the energy she had expended to save Haruka. The blonde forced her attention to the woman in her arms. "It's returned to human form, don't worry." Her voice was automatic, her mind elsewhere as the memories of her past life competed for prominence in her crowded head... Pluto, their best friend and closest ally, Hotaru, the daughter they raised together, the confession love she'd shared with her partner, each word that Neptune spoke brought more memories, good and bad, crashing back to her. "I almost killed it. I'm sure I'll kill it next time." Past the point of exhaustion, Neptune's own mind began to wander, the pressure of her duty too heavy for her shoulders alone. She didn't want to make sacrifices any more than Haruka did, but it was a reality of her duty. "It isn't easy, but I chose to become a senshi." "Then, why did you protect me?" Haruka's searching voice asked with a hint of desperation. Although the memories of her past life had showed her otherwise, in this life, no one had ever done such a thing for her. Certainly she hadn't felt as though she had done anything to deserve such kindness. She instantly regretted all she had done to this woman when time and again, Neptune had put her life on the line for her. Just as she had in their past lives... "If you hurt your hands, you can't be a violinist." Haruka fell back on any excuse she could find instead of speaking her confused feelings. Michiru smiled smally. "I didn't snoop around just because you're a senshi. Before I knew that you were the one... " The aqua haired girl finally looked up at the blonde, her voice less desperate, more hopeful as she reminisced. "I was watching you during a race. I always wanted to ride in your car along the coastline just once..." Haruka's arms unconsciously tightened around Neptune's form when she revealed the truth of the statement she had issued not long ago. Michiru had been speaking about herself. This woman had been watching over her for so long, trying to help her, trying to connect with the half of herself she had been missing, and Haruka had only pushed her away. Michiru's voice broke hoarsely. "You never asked any favors of anyone. You're always faithful to your feelings." Her eyes glassed over, remembering Haruka's strength during the Silver Millennium, confusing the incarnations of her lover in her exhaustion. "I'm not faithful, I'm always running away." A ghost of a smile spread across Haruka's lips as she tried to reconcile the two sides of herself, her two separate personas, now made apparent with her newfound memories. The carefree, easy lover of what was called the Silver Millennium and the bitter, blackened woman she had become in this life. Still, the event that had changed her so still lay hidden from recognition, still locked behind one last formidable barrier that continued to urge her to run from the woman in her arms. Her eyes searched Neptune's, trying to see beyond the love they once shared, to see what this woman saw in her in this life. What kept her coming back after each refusal she had suffered? Was it an obligation to duty? A shiver ran down Haruka's spine at the thought and she fought with herself not to release the woman in her arms to the unforgiving floor. It was then that she flinched, feeling the warm blood that seeped through Neptune's fuku. Blood she had shed for her. More memories of their life as senshi came flooding back to Haruka and her fingers tightened around Neptune's arms. Holding her partner's limp body, feeling her blood, seeing her exhaustion, Haruka remembered that Neptune's greatest strength wasn't just physical. 'She always was the strongest of the two of us.' Neptune sighed. Feeling a mixture of anxiety and hope, she understood that Haruka was reliving her memories yet she kept her silence, wanting the headstrong blonde to reach her own conclusions. It was always one of the traits Haruka had loved best about her, that, for all Michiru's constant support, she also knew when to give Haruka her space when absolutely necessary. "I know more about you than you do, because I watch you all the time." Neptune finally explained in response to Haruka. "I don't want you to take the same way I took." Finally reaching a parallel with her persona of the past by both laying her feelings on the line openly and without reservation and giving Haruka the space she needed, Neptune hoped that Haruka would be able to do the same. And if not... she was still willing to set her lover of the past free. A smile pulled at Neptune's lips and though her eyes held much physical pain, a slight blush colored her cheeks. "Still, I was happy when I found out that you were the one..." Exhaustion taking over her fully, she finally realized the lack of response from Haruka. Not knowing if she had succeeded in either setting the shell of Uranus free, or helping the wayward Haruka to remember her true persona, tears came to Neptune's eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to talk about it... sorry." Haruka's blank expression softened slightly as a tear slid down Neptune's cheek. Here was the woman who had frightened her, crying over her, crying for her. 'How could I have ever felt fear for this woman who has loved me so?' She asked herself. As she watched the gentle tear slide down Neptune's cheek, fragments of her past life continued to come together in Haruka's mind. People, places, things, emotions, all of them linking with the visions she'd had in weeks past to form a chronological timeline of a life gone by. From beginning to end, her memories sketched and further defined the Haruka of the Silver Millennium, who she once was, who she should have been in this life, too. 'Only, why am I so different?' That was when Haruka realized that she hadn't reached the end of her timeline at all, that for her, there was life beyond Neptune's death. Her frame shook involuntarily as eight hundred years of loneliness crashed over her and from almost a third perspective, Haruka watched her own slow deterioration into the shell of Uranus, saw what her mind had done to itself. How she had warped the very meanings of that which had made her who she was; destiny and duty. In her own warped mind after Neptune's death, the two had become affiliated with pain and fear, a self defense mechanism to protect herself against further pain as she wandered the universe alone... but it was this warping of that which had eased her suffering that was also that which had also destroyed her. In her twisted mind, duty had become the destructive force of Metallia who had taken all she had held dear, and destiny was what had made living on without her partner so unbearable... From such a detached standpoint, Haruka realized what she had done to herself and in such a revelation, it was once again revealed to her wayward mind the importance that destiny and duty truly held for her. In reality, it was duty that had brought her strength and confidence as an outer senshi once being coupled with the powerful force that was Neptune, and it was destiny that had brought her love in the form of Michiru. It was then that she realized that the woman in her arms, the reincarnation of her lover past, was the one embracing her. Neptune. Michiru. And she realized that although the last eight hundred years of her past life and the entirety of her current life had been painful and difficult, it was her partner of old who suffered now. She suffered because Haruka was not at her side. She suffered because they did not share that closeness of partners... the closeness of lovers. The only way to right the wrong she had caused in her past was to right her future. A small smile touched Haruka's lips as her hazel eyes traced the lines of the aqua haired woman's face, already so familiar. This woman would always be there for her, with her, at her side. Somehow, she knew she had nothing left to fear. With a resounding crash, the last of the walls that the devastated Uranus had built around her heart collapsed as Haruka made her decision. She knew it would take time to fully adopt the carefree nature of her original persona, but she knew that with Michiru's help, she could do it. She could once again become the woman that Michiru, that Neptune, needed. Now, Haruka was ready to embrace her duty as the senshi of Uranus. She was ready to embrace her destiny by Michiru's side, for now she knew that it was only the partnership and love they shared that could make them both whole again. Haruka's eyes returned to the metal rod that had fallen on the garage floor, the rod that, in her selflessness, Michiru had urged her not to accept. Never losing her hold on the woman in her arms, her hand reached out for the now familiar henshin rod. Grasping the smooth alloy in her hand, she sighed contently at its weight and familiarity. Resolute and determined, with no doubt left in her mind, Haruka knew it was time to embrace herself, to return to that which made her who she was. Determined hazel eyes caught hold of nervous and exhausted ones of cobalt. "Thank you." Haruka's voice was quiet and calm. "For what?" Neptune's confusion mingled in her exhaustion. "For freeing me from my barriers." The golden haired woman responded slowly, a small, soft smile on her angular face. She felt the breath of the woman in her arms catch in her throat, felt the quickening heartbeat beneath her injured ribcage. The look of hope and happiness indicated in the widening smile on Neptune's face produced a toothy grin on Haruka's own. 'It'll be different in this life, in this darker time, after the tragedy that occurred eight hundred years ago. But perhaps with this woman by my side, we can forge a new love, one based on the success of our past, for it's she who represents my future.' Haruka nodded her own confirmation, 'Definitely.' Haruka's eyes shut lightly. A bright warmth filled her as the ancient words came to her, triggering a powerful transformation. With a rush of power brought by the wind itself, she was once again in tune with her element, in tune with herself. She was once again Uranus, a vital piece of her persona. She was ready to join her partner, and hopefully, her lover, of the new millennium. Sailor Uranus rose to her feet. The woman in her arms seemingly light as a feather, she set her partner down carefully, holding Neptune's shaky frame to her own for support. No words were needed between them as they laced their fingers together, each staring at the other, each reading the world of emotions in the others eyes. 'One thing I know for certain... my heart already beats for her.'
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