Hotaru was surprised to find herself in her bed. Well, her bed at Rei's, anyhow. Nor was she in her clothes from yesterday, but a pair of blue shorts and a white tank top. What was she doing yesterday anyway? Oh yes, talking to Utena Takahashi. And then... falling asleep. Hotaru's face heated once she realized she hadn't been awoken last night. So that meant... Ah! Why hadn't she been awake when Rei carried and changed her? The idea of Rei's hands on her caused a blush to form on her cheeks. The miko wouldn't let anyone else carry her either, she knew. Speaking of the business woman, Hotaru slipped out of bed to look for her. Nothing. "Where is s-" That's when the college student noticed a piece of paper on the fridge with Rei's neat but tiny handwriting. Hotaru, I'm sorry, but I have a really important meeting today. I'll most likely be back pretty late. There's some food in the fridge, but feel free to order something, there's money under the cookie jar. Call the office if you need to reach me. Have a nice day! -Rei A soft sigh broke the silence of the apartment as Hotaru grabbed the juice and popped two waffles into the toaster from the fridge. Of course Rei wasn't home. It'd be too easy if she was. A pale hand grabbed two waffles from the toaster once they were done and tossed them onto a plate. Juice and waffles with maple syrup will just have to do. She didn't have much of an appetite. She was too busy thinking about Utena Takahashi. -Flashback- Hotaru giggled as Kenji told her about the time he spilled coffee all over Rei. The blonde was hilarious! Handsome, nice and funny. There must be plenty of girls chasing him. "So, then Rei goes, 'I know you want to see my body, but coffee? Can you just use water next time?' If I wasn't such a nice guy and completely embarrassed, I would've creamed her!" Raven locks flew in the air as the young woman shook her head. No one can cream Rei. The two of them were standing in front of the miko's office and Kenji moved to knock when a cold voice stopped him. "You can never cream Rei. And I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Both turned around to find a young woman standing behind them. Unlike most people in the office, who dressed very casually for the most part, she wore a black business skirt suit and a white blouse. Her classic Asian beauty shocked Hotaru almost as much as her cold brown eyes. She stood there, unmoving, eyes boring into the college student's. "Hey! Hotaru, meet Utena Takahashi. Utena, this is Hotaru Tomoe, Rei's friend. Utena here's the genius of the merger world. It was her idea to start this company." "It's a pleasure to meet you," Hotaru said with a polite bow. Utena was much less enthusiastic and bowed her head slightly. The youngest senshi tried not to feel insulted when the woman ignored her. "Where have you been?" the harsh tone was enough to make Hotaru wince inwardly. This woman was obvious not as kind and cheerful as the blonde man besides her. She wanted to say something, but Kenji only smiled. "Sorry, Tena, I went out for lunch and fell asleep at the park." Violet eyes narrowed in preparation for the verbal beating of the blonde young man. To her surprise, Utena's expression softened slightly, though her tone did not. "Don't do it again. Pye wants to talk to you. Bring in the stock reports." Firm brown eyes then turned to Hotaru. Anyone else would have shrunk away in fear, especially when Kenji ran off. But, she was Hotaru Tomoe, the one that invented cold and impassive masks. After several minutes of staring into each other's indifferent eyes, Utena surprised Hotaru again by smiling softly. The woman was clearly impressed by her show of guts. "It'll be a while before they're done. And even longer until Rei's finished. You can wait in my office, seeing as how Kenji can barely fit himself in his and finding a place for you will be next to impossible." Hotaru felt herself smiling back at the strict woman. Despite what she appeared to be, Utena Takahashi was a very nice person, from what she could tell. Hotaru soon found herself in a very neat and comfortable office. The couches were not leather, but soft cloth, brown to go with the very natural and wooden look of her office. Two huge bookcases sandwiched a large, mahogany desk in front of a black leather chair. "Sit, please." Hotaru complied and smiled at her hostess. "Is tea all right? I don't have any coffee right now." The slight annoyance in Utena's voice was amusing, not insulting. That's because both women knew the businesswoman was annoyed at herself for not having coffee, in case that's what her guest wanted rather than annoyed at her guest for being a nuisance. "Tea's perfect. I'm not a big coffee person." Utena walked over to the coffee table with a silver tray and placed a cup of tea before her guest. Much to Hotaru's pleasure, Utena sat to her right in a plush chair and not behind her desk. A fine brow was raised at the younger girl's confession. "Really? Neither am I, to be honest. I don't see how Rei can practically inhale the stuff." Brown eyes watched in amusement as the tension faded at the mention of a certain miko. A small and tender smile touched the college student's lips. "Neither do I. And before she gets it in the morning-" "She's a living hell. Cranky is a major understatement." The comment earned a soft giggle from the short-haired girl. Utena herself relaxed visibly. "So, tell me about yourself Tomoe-sa-" "Hotaru, please." Purple eyes watched in fascination as Utena nodded slowly. Utena Takahashi was a beautiful woman and Rei seemed to love surrounding herself with beautiful women. Hotaru didn't mind that her hostess didn't ask her to call her by her first name. Utena looked like the kind of person who didn't just allowed anyone to be on friendly terms with her. "May I ask how old you are?" "Of course, I'm nineteen." Utena furrowed her brows at the new piece of information and shifted uncomfortably. Nineteen. Rei really loved pushing the age limit. "Did you meet Rei at a club?" Hotaru frowned despite herself. So, Utena was familiar with the miko's lifestyle. And judging by the brown eyes staring at her intently, the woman was ready to kick her out of her office if the answer is 'yes.' "No, we've been friends for years." The older woman arched a brow, the only piece of evidence of the shock and disbelief she felt. Friends? Years? So this girl wasn't one of Rei's many flings. Then what was she? Because it was obvious 'friend' wasn't the way to classify Hotaru. More like, 'Rei's work in progress.' "Really? How many years?" Hotaru didn't mind being interrogated. Actually, it was touching how much Utena cared about Rei. At that point, she came to a conclusion. Kenji was the one that 'felt' out Rei's many flings just by interaction while Utena had a more direct approach. "Eleven years." Flabbergasted was too weak a word. So, Hotaru Tomoe was one of "The Nine," the people most important to Rei Hino. She spoke highly of them but never bothered with names. Utena's never even met one of them until now, and she's known Rei for a good 7 years. So, could this mean Rei wasn't interested in Hotaru in a way more than friendship? "Oh? What do you do?" "I'm a student at Tokyo University. A sophomore." Not only was she a student still, but she was a year ahead. About time Hino associated with someone whose brain larger than a peanut. Although, Hotaru's body wasn't that bad either. "What do you study?" "Writing and photography." Utena's brow rose again and Hotaru determined that was the only way to really know what the woman was thinking since her expression and eyes remained blank. Tokyo University was a hard school to get into, especially for the arts. So, she was smart, pretty and artistic. Geez, perfect isn't she? "Do you live at home?" The question caused Hotaru to smile sadly. Utena didn't know whether to be happy she found a potential fault in the girl or disappointed. "Yes, with my guardians." Utena leaned back in her chair, eyes twinkling briefly with curiosity. Hotaru caught it none the less. "My parents passed away when I was young so I was raised by my guardians. And although I'm legally old enough now to be on my own, I don't know how else to refer to them as other than my guardians... my parents." Utena nodded, eyes focusing on the tea cup in her hand. She opened her mouth to say something, but shut it after a second. Something tugged at Hotaru. Her life story always depressed others or made them feel awkward. "I was an orphan since I was a few month old, so I never had to worry about that. I'm sorry for your loss." Violet eyes blinked at the confession. She said it like she meant it, not in pity like others. Utena seemed to catch her confusion. "Can't miss what you never knew." The two fell silent at Utena's statement. It was a semi-comfortable silence, but not as bad as either of them had suspected it would be. After a few minutes, Utena stood. "I'm afraid there isn't much here to do. I'm sure Rei will understand if you wish to leave." The brown-eyed woman expected the girl to bolt at the chance. But instead, she smiled. "Yes, she would." An approving nod was all Hotaru got. If only it were that easy to receive such a response hours later. "Hotaru, I'm sure you know of Rei's flings." The statement shattered the relaxed silence of the room. Hotaru looked up from the book Utena lent her, surprised by the out-of-no-where comment. "Y-yes, I do." Damn her voice for quivering. Damn Utena for not looking nervous or awkward at all. "Why did you come with her today?" "Because she asked me to." "You must have been up pretty early to meet her." Well, at least Utena knew where this was going, because Hotaru sure as hell didn't. "I'm staying at her apartment." "What?" Hotaru's staying at the miko's apartment? Didn't that mean that the two of them... oh dear lord. "Can I ask why?" Utena asked instead, preventing herself from jumping to conclusions, though she already had. The younger girl allowed herself to frown. What was up with Utena all of a sudden? "Because my guardians are out of town and Rei offered me a place to stay until they get back." The lawyer nodded, sitting down. The look on her face, however, informed the other woman that there were more questions. "Hotaru, I'm sure you've never slept with her." Violet eyes became the size of saucers at the blunt statement. What was everyone and asking her about her nonexistent love-life with Rei? Hotaru's mind refused to grasp that even Rei's business partner was giving her advice. "And it's obvious you like Rei, as more than a friend." The shock was quickly replaced by embarrassment. A woman she hasn't known for a day already figured out her crush. Oh god. "And Rei cares about you." The maddening blush did nothing to hide Hotaru's curiosity. It might be obvious that she cared for Rei, but how does Utena know that the feelings are reciprocated? The older woman couldn't decide whether the girl's reddening face was due to embarrassment or anger. She was sure she wanted to stay on Hotaru's good side, if only for avoiding Rei's wrath. "I don't want to see you hurt. Rei sleeps with people recklessly. I don't want to see you becoming another one of her victims. Too many women and men alike have been flung aside after a night of wild partying and sex. It doesn't feel good, believe me, I know." "Utena-san, I've had moments where I've just wanted to give myself to her." Hotaru closed her eyes. The look of disappointment and sorrow in the other woman's eyes was almost enough to make her stop. But no, she had to explain herself. For her own sake. "But I never have. Because I want more than just sex. I love her. And if she and I," Hotaru blushed and looked away, "ever do have sex, I want it to be because she loves me." "Hotaru," Utena said, sighing softly, "she might love you, but she'll never change. There's still a very large chance that she will hurt you." Hotaru smiled sadly. "There's always a chance of getting hurt when it comes to love. And I'm sorry, but you're wrong. If Rei wants to, she can change. It'll just take time." And I have all the time in the world. The phone started to ring. With one last sigh, Utena moved to answer it. The college student released the breath she didn't know she had been holding as the conversation came to a close. -End Flashback- Hotaru finished her waffles and leaned back in the large, plush chair. Utena's words only sent her mind further into overdrive. She doubted her love for Rei more and more as the days wore on. Was it really worth it? She loved the miko to the point it hurt. She just had to choose a woman that's given up on the emotion but hey, if she could start over with life, why can't Rei have another chance? Problem was: did the raven-haired beauty want a chance? 'Hi Rei, how was your day? Say, you want to stop having sex with every man and woman you see and consider loving me?' Right, that'll go over well. There were only three results from that. One: Rei laughs at her and tells her she must be delusional. Two: she would smile apologetically and ask Hotaru to go home since that would be best for them both. Or third and the worse by far: Rei would pity her and take her to bed. Why isn't there a scenario of the miko returning her feelings? Simple, there was no way in hell Rei would love her back. A growl escaped as Hotaru swept her arms over the table, causing everything to crash to the floor. Silence followed the harsh sound of the plate and cup breaking while her cell phone battery popped out from the impact. Napkins and newspapers littered the floor. Hotaru gasped for breath, chest heaving as her eyes stared at the empty tabletop. She was losing it all: hope, patience and her sanity. Why did loving someone have to hurt so much? Was love really worth all this pain? There was no way she could keep it up for much longer. 'Fight for what you believe in,' they say. How can she fight if she doesn't even know if she believed anymore? What was there to believe in? Rei's strength? The hope that the miko would change? Was she to believe in the power of love? That might work well for Usagi and the other senshi, but not for her. Darkness knows no light. No hope. Hotaru Tomoe can't be someone's savior is she herself hasn't been saved yet. So, there's only one conclusion. She's been delusional.
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