The Nomads Revealed!
Life and Love Beneath the Stars.
"You really were serious about bringing everyone, weren't you,"
Ami said as she took Jiyu's hand and finally dismounted his horse.
The nomad nodded, pulling off his cloak. "Every man, woman and
child."
There, beside the woods they had been aiming for, were dozens and
dozens of elaborately carved and painted caravans. Ami thought that
there must have been fifty or even sixty of them, each with a horse
already bridled, waiting for them to return.
"Isn't that dangerous?" Minako asked as she helped Haruka down
from her own horse. "What if the soldiers are still following us?"
Jiyu nodded. "They will be. We'll leave as soon as you're all
onboard," he said, indicating to the caravan that was trotting up to
meet them. "We're the best horsemen in the province, but if they keep
on us until we camp then we'll take them on to a man. Even a dozen
soldiers can't win against forty five families fighting for their
lives."
Nothing else needed to be said as he hurriedly helped them up
into the open-backed caravan. It was empty aside from the crates of
supplies at the far end, and had evidently been left for them. "Let's
go."
As the caravan lurched off the girls had to admire how
comfortable it was. The days they had spent in their cell-coaches on
the way to the Comte's manor had been very unpleasant. Hard wooden
benches made a bottom sore after a while, and by the time they had
reached their destination they had all been well on the way to a case
of cabin fever.
These caravans were very different though. The wood on the inside
was as ornately carved and painted as on the outside, with patterns
of leaves, flowers and vines tracing around the place. The seats were
also well upholstered, and despite the rocking of the rough ground
they rode across they weren't tossed around nearly the way they had
been on the way to see the Comte. Haruka wondered if they had some
sort of home made suspension on the wheels, but in truth it was just
the combination of a skilled driver, well trained horse and the well
padded benches. They were the nomads' homes after all, so it made
sense that they would lavish what little they had on making them as
pleasant as possible.
This was also the first time since their escape that the other
girls could get a good look at their rescuer as he chatted with
Makoto. He was a good several years older them, probably near his mid
twenties, and although he was rather thin and gangly his muscles
showed well where the garish leathers he wore left them bare. It was
clear now that Makoto hadn't received any special treatment from the
nomads with regard to clothing. His minimal vest and breeches, like
Makoto's own vest and skirt, covered what they had to but accentuated
the rest as much as possible.
He was also the kind of handsome that Makoto must have compared
to her old sempai when she had first met him. There wasn't any one
thing they could put their finger on that made him good-looking but
he was nicely put together, and his hair, held back by a thin bandana,
framed his face well as it hung from his temples. It was kind of old
fashioned, but they had been in Seiji for so long that such things
were feeling normal to them now.
Had they been back at home both Minako and Rei would probably
have started stalking the poor man and wondering what Makoto had to
do with him already, but they weren't back home.
That was the problem.
Well, one of the problems. Now, sitting in that caravan, Rei felt
very alone. The others had avoided looking at her ever since she had
let Desir loose, but she had distracted herself by taking a crash
course in riding. It turned out she wasn't bad at it once she knew
what she was supposed to be doing. Even though Makoto's friend had
obviously been avoiding her, he had still helped when she had been
having trouble - prompted by Ami no doubt - and Desir had been all
too happy to lend some helpful advice.
Rei frowned at the floor. That was the other thing. Desir was
happy. Far too happy. The second she had come back she had stretched
out in Rei's mind and glowed with contentment. Contentment Rei sure
as hell didn't want. Not after this. If Rei ever wanted not to have a
friend then this was it, because that friend was Desir.
At least on the horse Makoto had been there, holding onto her as
they rode clumsily after the others. At least then it had felt like
someone didn't care about what she had done.
Ami wasn't faring too well either, though in a very different way.
She had spent a long time on the back of Jiyu's horse, and despite
his obvious skill it had done nothing for her already upset stomach.
"Jiyu-san... Mr. Jiyu," she ventured, interrupting Makoto's
conversation with the man, "do you think we could stop, just for a
little moment?"
The others looked over to her, both in surprise and concern. "Why?
What's wrong?" Jiyu asked. "Given the way we had to ride out we
didn't make the best escape. We really do need to stay with the rest
of the camp."
Ami began to feel greener just at the thought. "It's just that
I..."
It was too little too late and she had to force herself to
swallow heavily. She was just glad that the back of this caravan was
open, unlike most of the others because, before she could say
anything else, she was forced to lean over the wooden rail and
finally throw up what little she had eaten today.
In no time Makoto and Haruka were beside her, stroking her back
as she retched. "Oh Ami-chan, I'm sorry," Makoto said with heartfelt
sympathy.
"It's okay Ami... Ami-chan," Haruka added. "We're here."
Jiyu reached over to the front of the caravan for some water, but
Rei and Minako just sat where they were. There was only so much room
to help, and Rei noticed the look that flickered in Minako's eyes as
she watched the others.
'First Ami-chan and Haruka-san and now...' Rei thought to herself
with pity for her friend. 'Oh Minako-chan... It all has to happen now,
doesn't it...'
***
Night seemed to have fallen with a crash that evening. As soon as
the sun had begun to dip beyond the horizon the entire nomad camp had
stopped and everyone had swarmed out around fires and cooking pots,
playing music, telling stories and letting the children play around
in the twilight.
Then only an hour or so later the pink glow in the sky had
finally faded and everyone had returned to their caravans or set up
tents to sleep in. The day had passed in one long blur: worry and
adrenaline bleeding into fear and resolve and finally into a jovial
sundown, as if nothing had happened.
Makoto had never been with the nomads when travelling. It seemed
so much more hectic than the laid back, family lifestyle that she
remembered, and yet it made a lot of sense. She would have bet that
within those ornate and brightly coloured homes life was going on as
usual to them. That just wasn't something she was privy to.
But she was used to the dark. Out in this rural country the dying
of the sun really did mean the end of the day for most people.
Looking up the stars were so bright and made her feel rather small,
but for someone like her - who often felt large, drawing everyone's
attention - it was actually rather comforting to feel like just
another person beneath that vast sky.
The stars weren't what she was looking for now though. She was
looking for the small glow by the edge of the camp; the one campfire
that was still burning, tended by a modern girl who - unlike these
rural Seijian people - was used to being awake in the evenings.
"Rei-chan, there you are," she said as she finally reached the
small, smouldering fire and the friend that sat by it.
Rei looked up from the fire, still holding her knees to her chest.
"Mako-chan..."
Rei looked back to stare at the slowly dying fire, her soft voice
floating delicately through the air as Makoto took a seat next to her.
"Ami-chan's finally asleep, huh?"
Makoto nodded with a soft smile. "Yeah, the others too. She's
says she's feeling a bit better now."
"I'm glad." Rei replied, her gaze not leaving the fire. "Your
friend Jiyu's on first watch you know, I saw him go."
Makoto smiled at that. "You all think I know him better than I do.
His family was the one that took me in, but I saw more of his little
brothers than I did of him. He does the 'sneaking around and
infiltrating' thing a lot, so he wasn't always there."
Rei nodded but didn't reply. After hearing them talk in the
caravan she already knew that much about him. That was also how they
all knew Makoto hadn't gone after the young man. He had said that,
coming from a family with so many men and boys, having a surrogate
sister for a few weeks had been a novelty to them all.
"Rei-chan," Makoto said, breaking the silence that had fallen,
"we were all worried you know. You've been so quiet, and you
disappeared like that after dinner."
"I killed a man today Mako-chan. I just needed some time alone,"
Rei lied.
Makoto shifted a little where she sat. She wanted to comfort her
friend, but if it wasn't wanted... "Do you want me to go?"
Rei wanted to scream for her to stay. For her to say it was
alright, that it didn't mean or change anything. But of course it did.
How could it not? Even Haruka would pause at killing a human.
Makoto began to worry when Rei just continued to stare at the
fire, but before she could voice her concern Rei spoke up.
"It was easy really," the young priestess said. "Easier than I
thought it would be. We've killed a lot of monsters and demons in the
past, haven't we Mako-chan." A small smile began to show on Rei's
lips, even as her eyes began to fill with tears. "We zap them, and
they fade away or crumble to dust. I bet it was the same this time.
Nothing left but a pile of ash."
"Rei-chan..." Makoto said, stunned at what Rei was saying.
"It was even easier this time though," Rei continued. "I didn't
have to cast a spell. I didn't have to take aim with my flame sniper
and do it myself. I just had to say the word, and Desir did it for me.
Killing really is so easy." The tears finally started to pour and
Rei's smile crumpled as she finally turned to Makoto. "But then you
have to live with it!"
Makoto gathered Rei into her arms at let the girl's racking sobs
pour across her shoulder. "Rei-chan, you know we all still love you.
What you let Desir do... You didn't have any other choice. We know
that. If they had found out then everyone in this world would be
hunting us down, not just a few soldiers."
Makoto stroked Rei's hair as the girl's weeping slowly began to
subside. "Remember, back in the draughty old house? You and Haruka-
san said we might be forced to take another person's life here. At
the time I though you were being so extreme, but now..." She pulled
Rei's head up to look into her eyes. "If I had to kill someone to
protect you, any of you, I would."
"Don't say that Mako-chan," Rei sobbed. "You don't know how hard
it is. And Desir, she was so happy about being able to eat someone
finally. She's sitting inside me, treating it as if this is the way
it's supposed to be. As if this is as good as it gets."
"You know she's lying, right Rei-chan?" Makoto asked, firm
reassurance in her voice.
Rei nodded. "I know. But she's always there, feeling so confident
about it, when everyone else is avoiding me."
Makoto narrowed her eyes in thought. "Get her out here."
"Wha..? Mako-chan why?"
Makoto just wiped away one of the tears that slid down Rei's
cheek. "Trust me, okay?"
Rei nodded, drawing in a breath as Desir materialised, the glow
of her body casting an orange light across them. "What's up Mako?"
Desir said. Her words had lost some of their usual sharp playfulness,
but instead sounded calm and happy. "I'm guessing you're not wanting
a chat."
Makoto glared up at her. "Take a walk. You can feel good
somewhere else for a bit."
"As milady commands," Desir said with a sweeping bow. She prodded
the fire with her toe and it flared into life. "Don't keep her up too
late though, my little Rei needs her beauty sleep," she said before
she vanished, just leaving her flames to burn away into the air.
"Now," Makoto said, "she's gone, and I'm here. Better?"
Rei found a giggle forcing its way through her last tears.
"You're such an idiot sometimes Mako-chan. But thanks."
Makoto nodded as if that was what she wanted to hear. "It came as
a surprise, but we aren't avoiding you. Soon everyone will see that
you're okay, and that's all that it will take."
"Not for your friend," Rei countered. "He saw her. He'll tell
whoever's in charge here. If they were going to turn on us Desir
would have wanted to do something before we got here, so I know they
won't, but still... They'll all be terrified."
Makoto just drew her back into a hug. "Maybe, but these are the
most forward thinking people in this crazy place. The elders will
accept you, and that means everyone else will, no matter how scared
they are. But even if they don't want to be around you, me and Ami-
chan and Minako-chan and Haruka-san will. You're our friend and
nothing will change that."
Rei sniffed and a smile broke onto her face. "Thank you Mako-
chan," she said, giving the taller girl a fierce hug. She let out a
heavy sigh as she let Makoto go. "God, I feel so much better. You
know, you never did tell me. What did you think about what happened
between Ami-chan and Haruka-san?"
"Huh?" Makoto asked, "what do you mean?"
Rei swatted her lightly. "What do you mean 'what do you mean'?
What did you think about them sleeping together?"
Makoto's look turned thoughtful and her voice softened a little
more. "Everyone needs someone now and again. I think maybe it was a
mistake, but I think it did them both a lot of good too." She smiled.
"They both have looked happier, aside from Ami-chan being sick I
mean."
"Yeah," Rei nodded, her smile lighting up her tear-stained cheeks,
"and you've seen the way Haruka-san worries about her because of it?
It's really sweet."
"That's why I think it might have been a mistake too," Makoto
replied. "Ami-chan's been looking at Haruka-san, but it's pretty
obvious they decided not to do anything else, isn't it?"
Rei nodded. "It's understandable I guess. Poor Michiru-san. Well,
poor Haruka-san really. It must be hard, being away from her for so
long, and not knowing when you'll get back. I know it's hard missing
grandpa so much, but that's not like losing a..." She sighed, "A
girlfriend I guess. And a child. I bet Hotaru-chan misses her Haruka-
papa."
Makoto had to agree. "I guess I've been lucky that way. And I
don't want Ami-chan to get hurt either. I never really thought she
would get involved like that, especially since she would never want
to come between anyone, but I keep having to remind myself that she's
only human."
Rei thought about that. It might have been better not to say
anything, but maybe just talking about it would help ease her mind.
"Minako-chan might not have that problem."
"What?" Makoto asked, confused, "Minako-chan's not human now?"
"No!" Rei admonished, finally wiping her face with a smile, but
it didn't last long. "I mean she might not care that Haruka-san is
all but married back home."
Makoto just stared at her, but the implication was clear.
"Minako-chan has always been gung-ho with relationships," Rei
continued, "and she might think that Haruka-san isn't as unavailable
as she was. Maybe she'd be right, but still..."
Makoto face was unreadable, but she obviously knew what she
wanted to say. "Haruka-san can deal with her. Whatever she chooses,
it's up to her. Maybe she'll be okay now, after Ami-chan."
Rei looked concerned. "Shouldn't we talk to Minako-chan?"
Makoto shook her head. "I want to, but it's up to them. We're not
fourteen years old any more. Finding out that Ami-chan and Haruka-san
slept together... it just made that even more obvious. You know, my
new year's resolution last year was to start acting more like my age.
You know long that lasted!"
Rei chuckled to herself. "I guess you're right. I hope it all
works out okay."
Makoto smiled and got to her feet, lit only by the stars and the
embers of the fire. "Me too." She reached down and offered Rei her
hand. "Let's get some sleep. Nomads rise with the sun you know."
Rei groaned and took Makoto's hand. Even though Desir had already
returned to her mind, she still felt so much better now than she had
been, but now that she thought about it she really was tired. "Sure."
***
The sun had not even risen when the sharp trumpeting of the
nomads' warning horn sounded through the camp. It was not a sound
heard often, but every man, woman and child knew what it meant. The
mission that had brought them there was not yet over. Minako was
still rubbing the sleep from her eyes when the first caravan left,
and in minutes the entire camp had evacuated, leaving just the five
bleary-eyed girls and a handful of men with them.
"Wha..?!" Minako said as she looked around at the desolate
remains of their camp. "What just happened?"
Makoto finished tying back her ponytail and began to stretch out,
as if she was warming up for a run. "It looks like that Comte guy
really doesn't want us to leave."
Jiyu nodded as he and the other men took their own quick warm-ups.
"Their trackers must have caught up with us after all. The cavalry is
on its way. They must have ridden their horses into the ground to
make it here so soon. We'll stay behind and take out this band, and
the soldiers coming from the other side will have to take on the rest
of the camp."
"That's dangerous," Ami observed with worry. "What if they decide
to take hostages from the main camp?"
The well armoured man next to Jiyu nodded. "That's what they will
try, splitting their numbers like this. They want our camp to fight
on two fronts, so they have a better chance of grabbing someone and
making a bargain."
"So the best fighters stay back and make sure it's two groups
against two," Minako realised. Then she gave a worried pout. "And we
have to be fighters too, huh?"
Jiyu gave them all a cocky grin. "You have a reputation to live
up to. And now is the time to start!"
The girls all blinked at him in surprised unison. "We have a
reputation?" Makoto asked.
Jiyu's armoured friend chuckled, clapping the smaller man on the
shoulder. "You can blame him for it later, Miss. Right now all you
have to do is fight for your lives!"
"We can do this without killing them, can't we?" Ami asked, still
concerned.
The man looked at her in surprise, then shrugged. "You are
welcome to try."
"Easy Tachi," Jiyu said, "they can take care of themselves." He
dropped his voice and walked past Rei. "And I suggest you keep your...
friend... hidden. At least for now."
Rei just muttered quietly to herself as she pulled on her archery
harness. "It's too early for this. Way too early."
Makoto was about to offer her a supportive word when they heard a
faint whistle and the men all tensed. "If any of you fight from a
distance," Tachi said, drawing his katana, "you had best get ready."
"And do whatever you can to get them off their horses," said the
burly middle aged man, obviously the leader of their group. "Without
killing the animals if possible."
Ami reached into the bag at her feet. "I might be able to help
there," she said quietly, bringing out one of her bombs and the
clockwork flint she had made. "But it will terrify them."
"Fine by me," said the leader, as he finally spotted their own
scout charging back to them. "As long as we stop them here."
"Why not just draw them into the trees?" Haruka asked, motioning
to the woods that they had set up camp beside. "That would stop the
horses."
"It wouldn't be the first time they've sent men to ambush us
doing that, and used the cavalry as a decoy," Jiyu volunteered.
Haruka nodded at that, and they all watched as the scout finally
reached them, panting for all she was worth. "Papa," the young girl
said as soon as she had her breath back, "they are heading straight
around the skirts of the woods, riding fast. Ten of them. They just
want to reach the camp, they don't care about us at all."
The older man nodded and gave his daughter a hug. "Good work
Kimiko. We'll make them care about us." He looked over to Haruka with
a grin, "and, if we need to, we can draw them into the woods once
they do."
He turned back to his daughter with a reassuring smile. "Take
your bow and head into the trees. You can help us from there. And if
any of you are archers you had better follow her," he said to the
other girls. "Everyone else, spread out and make sure you get their
attention."
Rei shouldered her bow and turned to follow the scout girl, but
was stopped when Ami called after her. "Rei-chan, we'll see you soon,
okay?"
Rei slowly smiled and nodded, suddenly feeling a whole lot better
before heading in to take her place behind one of the trees.
As she did, Tachi gave Haruka a derisory look as she hefted her
staff into her hands. "You are going to fight the Lord's soldiers
with a stick, boy?"
Haruka just gave him a feral smile. "It's more than I'll need."
It felt good to have the wood in her hands again after so long
without it. The feel of the grain beneath her fingers comforted her
as the fear and adrenaline of battle started to seep through her
bones. No matter what her magic did to her, she was going to protect
the people she cared about.
The same fear flowed through Ami's veins as she stared out to
where they knew the riders would appear. She gripped the metal egg
tightly in her hand, memories of nights alone running through her
mind: nights when she had so desperately wanted her mother there with
her. More memories. Of the day she stayed behind, freezing at the
north pole: the day she died alone so her friends could fight on
without her.
And knowing that no matter what she wanted, what she knew or what
she told herself, she missed what she had felt within Haruka's arms.
And she knew she could never let herself feel that again. Haruka and
Michiru deserved better.
Around her, her friends and the men they fought beside steeled
themselves as the soldiers finally charged into view in front of them.
But Ami barely heard them through the fear and loss and anger at her
own weaknesses that welled within her. The pressure within her had
become a tangible thing, pushing outwards through her as she forced
herself to remember these things.
She lit the metal egg, threw it up, and released that pressure.
The smack she gave the bomb was so powerful that it sounded like
thunder striking, and seconds later the home made grenade landed
within the charging men over sixty feet away. Ami's brow furrowed
even more and she lashed out again with that pressure, punching the
bomb back up to follow them as the men passed it, kicking up dirt and
grass as she did.
The nomad guards all looked in shock as the grenade exploded. Two
of the closest horses were knocked to the ground by the blast and the
others scattered, taking their riders with them in their panic.
"By the Gods," Tachi said under his breath, looking over at Ami
as her fierce gaze followed the frantic horses. "They really are the
Seraphi?"
Haruka also watched Ami with concerned eyes, but she couldn't do
anything for her now. If that was how Ami had to feel in order to
fight, Haruka would not take that away from her. It worried her, but
Ami had the right to fight just like she herself did.
From the tree line Kimiko also watched, slack jawed. "She... she
used gunpowder..."
Rei looked at her, knowing what she must have been thinking.
"It's not like that. Ami-chan is doing her best for all of us, and
that's just how she does it."
"But... it's wrong!" Kimiko replied. Then her voice quieted. "You
are not the Seraphi. I know you are not."
"Anyway," Rei said, drawing her bow and changing the subject,
"now's our chance, before they can get close to the others."
She loosed her arrow, sending it past one of the riders and
causing them all yet another worry. They were professional men, but
to be attacked with gunpowder was something far more dangerous than
they had expected. Two of them were already down, trapped beneath
their mounts. Every one of their horses had been spooked by the blast,
and now they were being attacked from the trees. Put together it was
bad enough, but now they had to get through the line of nomads before
them.
Their plan was in tatters. The best they could do was take out
these nomads quickly and keep moving, or retreat. As soldiers of the
Comte, retreat against a rabble of vagabond families - mostly women
and children - was unacceptable.
From the trees Kimiko took a shot nailing one of the fallen men
as he struggled to free his leg from his wounded horse. She grinned
to herself. Even if he could get free he wouldn't be able to fight
with an arrowhead embedded in his sword arm.
Rei swallowed hard and notched another arrow. 'Oh oh, that one
there!' Desir urged from inside her head, psychically pointing to one
stationary solder that was pulling his horse back under control.
'Come on, he's an easy target!'
That made the shot even harder.
"Hey girl," Kimiko said as she took another shot but missed her
mounted target, "do you want those bastards to start cutting down
your friends?"
Rei swallowed again, "No!"
"Then shoot!"
Rei let the arrow fly and caught the rider square in the side. He
fell from his horse with a cry and landed heavily, clutching his
bloody armour.
"Good shot," Kimiko complimented. "Don't worry, he won't die from
that too easily."
'Ahh well,' Desir added, 'you can always try again.'
After that however the riders had finally closed the gap and the
nomads charged in to meet their opponents. Thankfully for the nomads
the soldiers' horses were now as much of a burden as a blessing and
Tachi, being both large and nimble, surprised friend and foe alike by
simply tackling one soldier right off his horse.
Minako got hers next, and reminded everyone that despite looking
so vacuously blonde she was just as capable as everyone else. Rei's
shot at Minako's assailant had missed by a mile as he had charged
towards her, but at the last minute she had given a playful cry and
vanished in a puff of yellow smoke.
The next thing the rider knew was the pain in his sword arm as he
brought it down into the thick haze and he toppled to the ground,
unbalanced as the girl grabbed his leg at the same time as she pulled
her scimitar free from his armour.
Haruka took another off his horse with a wide swing of her staff,
and Rei and Kimiko dislodged another two, one poor horse catching
Rei's arrow in its flank.
In the end, as the nomads slowly unhorsed the others, Ami had to
use a blast of her painful energy as the final mounted swordsman
managed to single her out as the weak link of the group. Ami just
closed her eyes and shot the invisible power out, knocking the horse
off its feet and out cold while the rider catapulted backwards
through the air before collapsing bonelessly, as unconscious as his
mount.
That was not the end of the fight though, as Jiyu, Tachi and the
other nomad men took the soldiers on blade for blade. Ami knew this
was not something she could do, so she escaped to where her explosive
had first dismounted two of the men. While one lay cringing, an arrow
in his arm and his leg beneath his horse, Ami scrambled to the other
as he tried to pry himself free from his unconscious and bleeding
mount. The man stopped when he looked up to see her, and the crossbow
she pointed at his head.
"I don't want to do it," Ami said, her voice trembling. "Please
don't make me."
To her horror the man just grinned up at her, and she turned
around to see that one of the other soldiers was running for her. His
sword was gone and he was bleeding from his forehead, but his orders
were to capture the girls, not kill them.
Ami cringed back and swung her crossbow around, lashing out with
the last of her telekinetic energy to knock the man back, but this
time he just stumbled a few paces. Ami needn't have worried though.
That pause was enough and another of Kimiko's arrows took the man off
his feet, killing him instantly as it pierced the side of his head.
Ami just stared at the corpse for a second before her stomach
rebelled again, but this time she didn't know whether it was really
her illness or just the bloody sight before her.
Across the battlefield Makoto had had an easy time. The static
charge around her had hummed continually, and two horsemen, both
closing on her together, had been taken down with just one small bolt
of lighting from her fingertips. It hadn't been enough to harm them,
but it had been enough of a shock to get them off their horses. After
that her martial arts had served her well, each hit sending another
sharp charge into the shaken and sluggish men until they could do
nothing but look up at her from the ground.
In the end the last man was Haruka's. She had already put one man
to sleep, but the nausea - the ineffable sense of wrongness that came
with using her Art this way - was keeping her from doing so again.
This man was still in good shape and was giving her a good fight, and
she had not dared block with her staff in case the swordsman sliced
it through. She dodged back again after he swung at her, and she
lunged forward, leaving herself open but ploughing the end of the
staff into the man's face.
The soldier rolled back with the blow, agile despite his armour,
and went in for another series of strikes that Haruka could only just
avoid. Her gi was already cut and torn, and the final slash opened up
her sleeve, drawing blood as it sliced through her skin.
Haruka winced. She had to use the Art... but now, having already
used it again, she hesitated. She really didn't want to see inside
someone again. She didn't want to feel what he felt as she altered
the impulses within his body.
He sensed her hesitation, made his move, and left Haruka no
choice. She made her quick attack as he raised his sword, bringing
her staff into his ribs, and forced her consciousness down the wood.
The others cried out to her, but the blow that would have put her
down never came. She just wobbled a little once her blow connected
and the man spasmed before falling backwards, grasping for air.
Haruka swallowed hard, trying to subdue that tainted feeling that
filled her. It wasn't any use, even though she knew what to expect,
and she fell to her knees, vomiting.
The nomads quickly disarmed and restrained the man as his breath
suddenly returned to him, and both Minako and Ami rushed to Haruka's
side.
"Haruka-san, are you okay?" Minako asked with concern.
"Just take it slowly," Ami said, equally worried.
"I'm alright, really," Haruka replied, getting back to her feet
and wiping her mouth.
Ami looked up at her. "Haruka-san, you're so obviously not
alright. At least talk to us about it. Please."
"There will be time for such things later," Kimiko's father said.
"I don't want to know how or why some of you do what you did here,
but we need to get back to the camp. Some of us will take the spoils,
you just take some horses and follow me."
With that he mounted one of the horses and waited for his
daughter to join him as she and Rei emerged from the woods. Haruka
followed suit, grateful for the chance to put off her explanations,
even for a little while. 'What will another couple of hours hurt
anyway?' she thought.
"Minako, come on, let's get going!"
Minako blinked in surprise before her face lit up. After all this
time without a word... "Woohoo! You got it Haruka-chan!"
The others made to follow as Haruka and Minako rode off after
Kimiko and her father, but Ami just stood watching for a second
before mounting the horse Jiyu took, thinking about just what Minako
had said. 'Haruka...-chan?'
***
As it turned out the rest of the camp had been more than capable
of defending itself. The soldiers had been seen long before getting
close enough to make their move, and the hail of rocks, arrows and
crudely fashioned spears had kept them at bay for longer than they
were prepared to endure. Battered, bleeding, and with more casualties
than those the senshi had inflicted, the soldiers had made their
retreat. With no backup their plan had failed anyway, and at least
the nomads would not have the privilege of taking their equipment and
horses this time.
The nomad celebration was brief however, and the girls had barely
made it back before the camp was moving again, wanting to put as much
distance between themselves and the soldiers as possible. Thanks to
that Haruka had nowhere to run, and even Rei was ganging up on her
now. Haruka had thought that she of all people would have too much on
her own mind to be concerned about the Dark Art.
"Haruka-san, really," the raven haired priestess said, "how can
we not worry? You keel over almost every time you fight. At least
talk about it. If I hadn't had someone to talk to I think I'd have
cracked already."
Next to her Makoto smiled to herself, feeling proud. Haruka on
the other hand just sighed and let her head fall back against the
wall of the caravan with a 'thunk'. "How am I supposed to explain
something like this?"
"Please Haruka-chan," Minako wheedled, "can't you at least try?"
Haruka had to think for a moment about where to begin. "It's an
out-of-body experience I guess, except you don't just float around
like a ghost. It feels a bit like velcro when I start using the Art,
the way my consciousness separates from my... my brain I guess. After
that everything becomes sort of abstract. My mind goes out through me
like water through a can, and I just flow out into whoever I've
touched. I can tell the rest of the world is there, and I can see my
body through that person's eyes and my own eyes at the same time, but
everything seems to slow down. It feels like I'm inside him for
several minutes, just flowing through him."
"Maybe," Ami ventured, "maybe consciousness is limited by how
fast our brains can process data. Or the magic you are using might
accelerate mental functions."
"Maybe," Haruka replied. "I really don't have a clue. It just
seems like a long time, even though I know it's only a moment. That's
really all it's supposed to be for. If you do stay connected for
longer, like real Warlocks do, you start to feel more of that
person's emotions, or their soul, or whatever it is. It's kind of
spiritual, and very intimate if it lasts long enough, but once you
affect the body you're in it tries to spit you back out."
She grimaced a little. "That's where it gets unpleasant. Because
you're inside a real tangible body, experiencing it in that way, you
can push it into reacting the way you want. With that last soldier, I
sort of wrapped my mind around his chest, and pressed his muscles
into seizing up for a little while. That's why he couldn't breathe.
"But once I'd done that I wasn't just flowing through him any
more. His body reacted to me and tried to get me out, and at the same
time I could feel his physical reaction to what I'd done. Only I
don't feel it physically. It's a psychological thing, like watching a
road accident happen up close and knowing that you caused it."
"Haruka-san..." the girls all exclaimed at such a graphic example.
However, it might have been the only illustration that came close
enough to conveying how it felt.
"It's no wonder they go mad," Jiyu said from his seat by the
front wall, the image not lost on him either. "Seeing a man trampled
under his horse is bad enough."
"You don't have to do it," Makoto said. "You're still the best
fighter out of all of us, even without magic."
Ami nodded, feeling very upset at what Haruka had been putting
herself through. "You don't have to do that for us."
"I could say the same to you Ami-chan, and Rei-chan." Haruka gave
a subdued smile at the sympathy in her friends' eyes. "At least the
more I use it this way the less I want to. And the more I understand
what it was I think the Warlocks were trying to tell me."
Ami had to look down at the floor when Minako laid a comforting
hand of Haruka's arm. 'So that's how it is,' she thought to herself.
'But I was right. They taught you for a good reason Haruka-san.'
***
"Hello Haruka-chan."
Haruka looked up at Minako from her seat between the roots of the
huge tree, out past the boundary of the camp. "You're up late Minako-
chan," she replied.
Minako nodded and sat down next to the boyish young woman. "It
took me long enough to find you in the dark. You owe me for a stubbed
toe."
"How come you're not asleep with the others?" Haruka asked,
looking up at the stars.
Minako sighed. "Do you really think they're asleep? Rei-chan and
Makoto-chan wandered off after you did, and Ami-chan... actually I
think she's avoiding me." Minako felt a sad little smile form on her
lips. "It was bad enough with the nomads thinking we're some sort of
second innings, but I didn't think Ami-chan would give me the silent
shoulder."
Haruka chuckled a little. "And I thought you only messed up your
sayings when you were excited."
Minako just stuck her tongue out at her. "I'm trying to be
serious here."
"Sorry," Haruka replied with a smile. "Just ignore the nomads.
They've got just as much of an agenda as the Comte does. Mako-chan
trusts them, but beyond that..."
Minako nodded. "And I guess Ami-chan is my own fault. I always
forget how much smarter than us she is."
Minako let the silence take over as the pair of them stared at
the sky, but it hung heavily as Minako waited. Was Haruka really that
that insensitive? Of course not, but the longer she waited the worse
it got. Minako had been waiting a long time now.
"Can't you say anything? Not even to reject me?"
Haruka looked over to see Minako's downcast eyes. "Minako-
chan..."
"It's not kind to leave a girl hanging for two days Haruka-chan.
We get lonely and confused."
"Minako-chan, I love Michiru. I have for a long time, and being
stuck here isn't going to change that."
Minako frowned, but couldn't bring herself to mean it. It only
made her feel more jealous. "That didn't stop Ami-chan though, did
it?"
Haruka looked away when she heard that. "That was different. We
were both drunk, and lonely, and homesick."
"And if you could do it over, would it have ended up any
different?"
Haruka didn't reply to that for a long time. "We both decided it
shouldn't go any further. It was the right decision to make. But no,
I wouldn't change what happened. We both needed it at the time, and
making mistakes is what makes us who we are."
"And damn the rest of us," Minako added harshly at the end.
Haruka looked at her in confusion, but her words were caught in her
throat when she saw the tears glistening in Minako's eyes.
"You think I don't need comfort too? You think I don't miss my
Mum and Dad and Artemis? Do you know how hard it is to keep smiling
when you're all cutting your road through this stupid world and I'm
tagging along at the back, trying to keep up?! The only place I
fitted in this world was back at the tavern, dancing and learning how
to make puffs of stupid smoke! I'm just following you all, because I
don't know what else to do."
She sniffed and looked away, back at the ground between her feet.
"Ami-chan has you to worry about her, and Rei-chan has Mako-chan to
help with her demon thingie. Where does that leave me? I don't have
Usagi-chan to play with any more when everyone else has better things
to do."
Haruka put an arm around Minako, surprising her out of her morose
tirade. "Minako-chan, they are all your friends. They would make time
if you want them to. It's just, right now, everyone has so much on
their minds. Ami-chan and Mako-chan haven't been talking much either
lately, and you know how close they were back home."
"The thing is," she said, trying to let the girl down gently, "I
love Michiru, and when we get back I'm going home, with her and
Hotaru-chan. I know I have fun with you all sometimes, but I don't
want to break anyone's heart."
Then, to Haruka's surprise, Minako leaned up and kissed her
lightly. "You're forgetting who you're talking to. I'm not a little
girl Haruka-chan. I might play with smoke and mirrors here, but I
don't have any illusions about love. Love changes, it fades, it grows,
it can become friendship or hatred - or even grow from either of them.
And for me, love never lasts."
She didn't give Haruka time to respond to that. "The first boy I
fell for, back in England, I was so head over heels for him that I
didn't even notice that my best friend and him were falling in love
until I caught them being all lovey-dovey. I cried so much that night
I thought I'd die."
Minako sighed. "But slowly I got over it. And I got over the next
guy, and the next. I keep looking for love, and sometimes I find it
for a while, but not for long. Artemis always teases me about how
many boyfriends I've had, but it only makes me mad because it's true.
Breaking up hurts, but letting go and being happy that you had fun
while it lasted - that's kind of nice too."
"I know I can't have you forever, but if I can have you for a
little while, that's fine with me. A little love goes a long way
after all!" She giggled. "You know, I've never really kissed a girl
before."
Haruka just looked at Minako with a new sense of respect, even if
she was a little bewildered by it all. "Minako, you're one of the
most heterosexual people I know."
Minako just shrugged, glad to finally have all that off her chest.
"You were handsome enough to make me stalk you when we first met!
It's weird, because you're a girl, but I can experiment can't I?"
Minako leaned forward and gave her another light kiss. "Hmm,
still weird, but maybe weird is good sometimes." She winked and got
to her feet. "Whew, all that's made me tired. Don't stay up too late
Haruka-chan."
She started back to the camp, but stopped after a few steps, not
looking back. "We don't have to do anything. Just give me a chance."
Haruka didn't reply, but Minako didn't wait for one. Instead
Haruka looked back up to the sky, letting her head fall back to rest
on the tree's bark. Although she was fun to flirt with, Minako had
always been something of a bubbly enigma. That fact hadn't changed
now, but the reasons for it had. She liked the idea that Minako was
attracted to her, but as for what she wanted...
If Minako needed a friend, she could do that. The girl would
learn what she was really asking for in time. Haruka knew she wasn't
the type of person Minako needed to live with. Now all she had to do
was try not to think about just how well Minako could kiss.
***
The following day the camp packed up and left with the same speed
as they had the day before, but to everyone's relief their first
stopping point was not too much further away. With so many people to
feed and no land of their own, stops for trading were essential while
on the road. While nomads had no status at all, having a camp set up
near a town or village was always welcomed - for their money and
merchandise if nothing else.
And so, while most went to ply their wares and re-supply, the
girls were invited to take lunch with the camp's elder. Given
everything that they had so obviously not been told the prospect was
too good to pass up, but Ami still bemoaned their situation. "Why
does all of our recent information gathering have to revolve around
food?"
Though a lot less extravagant than the meals at the Comte's manor
the nomads' food was no less heavy on the meat. Right then Ami would
have given anything for a simple bowl of rice or a sandwich, but even
if she had, she doubted it would have been enough to curb her hunger.
As far as she could see there was no way for her to win.
"Do not worry girl," the elder said, smiling through his wrinkles.
"Eat only what you wish. In your condition it is most
understandable."
The old man ladled some of the thick stew out into his own bowl,
and motioned of the girls to follow suit. "I must say that I am glad
to see that you have taken a liking to your clothing Makoto. It has
made Juriere a very happy woman."
"I'm glad," Makoto said, bowing her head. "She and her family
were very kind to me, and honestly it's nice to be able to wear
something that fits properly."
"Then please do give her your thanks when you have the time," the
elder said. "She has missed having you around I think. Actually I
have heard that Jiyu and his friends have been planning to give a
similar gift to you, Ami. After your battle together they felt that
your travelling clothes do not best suit the way you fight."
"Oh, don't go to any trouble on my account," Ami said in surprise.
"Nonsense," the elder replied, "it will give them something
better to do than race their horses around. Now, I do believe we all
have many answers we would like to hear."
"You've got that right," Haruka said, swallowing her broth. "You
people have set something rolling, and I want to know how we fit into
it."
"Haruka-san, please," Ami said, trying to take the edge out of
the older girl's voice.
The elder just smiled broadly. "No, no Ami, your friend is quite
right. We are intent on using you just as I am sure you would like us
to be of use to you. No doubt you were not aware of it, but Jiyu and
his team have been keeping an eye on you all ever since Makoto left
us."
That brought them all to a stop. "But... why?" Makoto asked,
sounding a little hurt.
"You were obviously a young woman who did not belong here," he
replied with a soothing voice. "There were so many things you did not
know, and many more that you should not have known. Even the way you
spoke was unusual, and unlike that of any foreign accent I know.
Anyone could see that you are from a place that is both alike and
completely different to Seiji. You and your friends would attract the
attention of a noble family soon enough, and we wanted to make sure
that the commotion you were bound to cause would end up benefiting
both of us."
"You mean you were protecting us?" Minako asked through her full
mouth.
"If you had been in any real danger then our men would have
stepped in, but the Comte would not have let you die. I suspect you
have much greater value to him alive, giving him the skills and
knowledge of whatever world you are from." The old man beamed at them.
"The way you fight alone would be enough to convince many people that
you are the Seraphi. After watching Makoto some of us were sure that
we could use their name to our advantage, and now - after your
battles and seeing you all living together - I am sure that the name
is deserved. Even if you are not our country's founders returned, you
are indeed from some world other than ours, and you can do the same
good work as those Seraphi of old."
"Don't you think that people would realise there are five of us?"
Rei asked. "Your Seraphi were a trio."
"Very true," he elder admitted, "but they did have many consorts
in their travels, more than you do at present."
"How did you know that, Rei-chan?" Minako asked curiously.
Rei just gave her a deadpan stare and tapped her temple. "How do
you think?"
The elder stared at Rei for a moment. "You know, I do suppose
that we are one short at the table. Rei, do invite your evil
incarnate to join us."
They all blinked at the off-hand way he said it, but Rei sighed
and felt the sudden drain as Desir manifested herself. "Unfortunately
she agrees," Rei said before going back to her food, very obviously
making an effort to hide her concern.
"So chief," Desir said, plucking a piece of meat out of the pot
and popping it into her mouth. "What's the plan? My little Rei will
of course take a starring role. After all, I'd rather like to keep
her innards on the inside."
"Naturally," the elder replied. His words were guarded but he
seemed surprisingly unconcerned that there was a demonette at his
table. "Though I would hope that people would give her more credit
even if she was just a member of the consort."
Ami was about to ask a question when Desir made her rebuttal.
"Denied. The Seraphi really should get to introduce sorcery a second
time, don't you think?"
The elder didn't really want to answer that, so he was quite
relieved when Makoto asked Ami's question for her. "Excuse me, but
who are these 'Seraphi' people anyway?"
"Yes, well posed!" Desir put in before snatching some more meat
under the various glares she was receiving.
"The Seraphi," the elder explained, "Were the three woman
travellers that created Seiji. They came to this eastern wilderness
from the world of the Gods and wandered the land, teaching their
knowledge to the scattered peoples and bringing them together to
found our society. They brought magic with them and taught it to us,
and they used that magic to make the land green and fertile. The
crops and animals grew strong and well, the eastern sea grew fecund
with fish, and even the mountains of the north and west were made
liveable.
"Then, just as suddenly as these inspired women appeared, they
left, leaving no trace of themselves but the legacy they had left
with us. Our forebears chose an emperor to rule in their place, and
so it has been for generation after generation. However," he said
with regret, "you are surely wise enough to know, as we nomads do now,
that things change silently beneath the surface of such calmness, and
such corruption is not for the better. We have wanted to rectify
those changes, and with the authority of the Seraphi behind us that
is what we can now do."
The caravan lapsed into silence as they all took that in.
"... You think big, don't you," Minako finally said.
"What is it that you want to change?" Ami asked. "Most people
have seemed content, at least as I have seen it."
"That is part of the problem," the elder said. "They are content
with less than they deserve. As far as I know the emperor is a good
man, but his power has long since been delegated to nobles whose only
claim to their power is their birth. Such birthrights should not be
allowed, both for those in power and those with nothing at all."
"Hey now," Desir chipped in, "slavery is an honest living. You do
your work and you get your keep. Even the Seraphi had slaves,
remember?"
"Perhaps," the elder replied, "but you of all... 'people'...
should know that ridding this country of such degrading practices is
one of our highest goals."
"Eh," Desir replied, "if a girl wants to prostitute herself she
will, whether you like it or not. As for indebted serfs, would you
have them killed rather than working the land?"
Haruka nodded. "As much as I don't want to side with her, the
demonette has a point. For some people it'll be worth the price, and
for others it's a way out of their dead ends."
"And you would have generation after generation enslaved to a man
or to his lands because they can never pay off what they owe?" the
elder asked. "Because they do not know they have an alternative to
the life they were born into? They do not deserve that any more than
the nobles deserve their status."
"Grandpa's right," Makoto said, her affection for the man and his
ideals obvious. "Like that slave that helped us escape! If she knew
she could have a better life she could have escaped with us."
Ami smiled at her best friend but shook her head. "Mako-chan, she
decided to stay there. I agree with the idea, but only as long as
they have the choice. For her that might be the choice that makes her
happy. We can't force her to choose differently just because we don't
understand the way she feels."
Makoto stared at her for a moment before bowing her head. "True.
It just doesn't seem fair."
The elder seemed to feel the same way Makoto did, but he nodded.
"If that is the condition of your assistance..."
Haruka looked to all the others and nodded. "It is."
"Very well. In return, once we have taken the first stride
forward, we will help you find what it is you have been looking for."
Rei smiled. "That's simple. We want to go home."
The elder seemed surprised by that. "You cannot go when you
choose to?"
"No," Ami replied. "We are trapped here. We have been looking for
magic - or anything - that can take us home."
The elder nodded. "Then we will do our best to assist, my good
women. In fact we can try to accomplish both our goals at the same
time. Those we travel to meet are also masters of the arcane."
"There is only one problem," Rei said. "Your scout, Kimiko, she
was with us when we fought. She still said she didn't believe we were
the Seraphi, and she had obviously heard people referring to us that
way."
The elder sighed. "She is a good girl, but she has a mind too
perceptive for her age. She can see our plot for what it is, but not
you for what you are. She will believe eventually, but unlike most
people faith will not be enough. She will need proof that you are not
just taking their name."
"Well, that's that then," Desir said, taking a last bit of meat
from the bottom of the pot. "See you tonight Mako, and don't take too
long this time. My little Rei gets morose if you aren't there to gush
over her!"
"Oh shut up!" Rei snapped as Desir vanished with a meddlesome
giggle. Rei huffed as she laid her fork over her empty bowl. "Don't
worry about her Mako-chan," she said grumpily. "She's been saying
weird stuff all day. She's just mad because she knows we're beating
her now."
***
Makoto had nodded then, but later it began to dawn on her that
things had changed. During their practices together, the two of them
trying to wear down and outwit Desir, Rei seemed to be trying to act
as if everything else was normal. Thinking about it now it seemed
crazy. How could things have stayed the same with everything that
they were going through? Even after killing a man Rei had seemed to
rationalise it to herself when she compared it to hunting daemons and
youma.
And she had failed, miserably. Perhaps that was something else
Makoto could help her with. If Rei could come to terms with just how
different things were now, then maybe she would be able to cope
better with Desir as well.
Actually, that was something Makoto had noticed since they had
started spending more time together. Rei clutched at what she
remembered herself to be, rejecting anything new almost automatically.
After what must have been a terrifying introduction to this world it
was understandable. Rei didn't want Desir to turn her into something
cold and heartless, but Makoto could only begin to guess how hard it
must be to keep thinking that way. Despite Seiji's similarities with
the old Japan, they really were in a foreign country, and although
she knew more about Seiji than the rest of them put together, Rei
made every effort to remain at a distance. She didn't want to be
'corrupted' by it any more than by Desir.
Really, was it any wonder Rei kept breaking into tears? Makoto
knew how little of this world had to be kept at such a distance. She
could at least try to help Rei realise that, even if she couldn't
accept it the way Makoto herself had.
Still, there was no doubt that this world had changed the rest of
them more than they all realised. Only after that meal had Makoto
realised that she had to include herself in that thought. It was kind
of funny really. She had been trying to change herself for so long,
but she barely realised when she succeeded. Teaching herself to cook,
learning to ice skate, and now living up to what it meant to be one
of the Sailor Senshi. Only now that she could no longer transform did
she see how she really was helping her friends, both on and off the
battlefield. She had just been too wrapped up in trying to improve
herself to realise it.
Of course, it took a demon to point that out. Rei was happier
during their anti-Desir games now, and curiously so was Makoto
herself. It was something that had been happening slowly, but after
what Desir had said Makoto realised how much time she spent with her
mind on how Rei was doing. If one of the other girls was to take over
the role of building up Rei's defences, Makoto knew she would do more
than miss that company.
She would actually be jealous.
It was absurd. They were all friends and had been for years, but
when Makoto tried to imagine it she really did think she would go
green with envy. The idea actually scared her. Ami had been her best
friend for as long as they had known each other, but even that
friendship had taken a backseat to the need to help Rei. Or rather,
the need for Rei's company. The need to know she was alright.
They had changed, and not for the worse, but what was happening
between them all now? Ami and Haruka sleeping together? Minako's
occasional moments of malaise and her new interest in Haruka? Minako
had never showed any interest in other women before, but then neither
had Makoto.
That scared her even more. Of course Makoto wasn't in love. She
knew it when she was. When the guy had that glowing resemblance to
her old sempai, and she couldn't help but latch onto him. Even though
her sempai had never even given her the chance for a single date, she
couldn't help but obsess. She was obsessive by nature, putting her
all behind what she wanted to do. Falling in love for her was no
different.
But she *was* thinking about Rei a great deal these days. Makoto
swallowed hard. Suddenly she wanted someone to confide in, because
she didn't know how to deal with the way she was feeling.
***
"Ami-chan? Can I talk to you?"
Ami looked up from the string she was being wrapped in. "Of
course, Mako-chan. What do you want to talk about?"
Makoto gave Jiyu and Tachi a guarded look, and both young men
suddenly went on the defensive. "Makoto, trust me, this is not what
it appears to be."
Makoto just raised an eyebrow. "And just what does it not 'appear
to be'?"
Jiyu cleared his throat, realising how immature he must have
seemed just then. "We are measuring Miss Ami for her armour. That is
all."
Tachi nodded with a grin. "Believe it on not Jiyu has some decent
skill as a tailor."
Jiyu smacked him across the back of the head. "Shut up you great
lump! It's called armour smithing!"
"It's leatherwork, you're a tailor! Live with it."
Makoto just sighed. "Whatever you are, can I please borrow Ami?"
The pair nodded. "Sure, we are about finished now."
The two men helped Ami extricate herself from the string, and she
followed Makoto out of the caravan's door. The two of them could just
about hear Tachi as he said it would have been a better fitting if
Ami had taken off her yukata, and Jiyu hit him again.
"Are you sure they didn't try anything?" Makoto asked, not
entirely convinced.
Ami just smiled and nodded. "They were perfect gentlemen."
Makoto nodded in return, "I should hope so."
The pair walked for a bit, chatting a little as they went, but
Ami knew something was up. Makoto could be a very private person when
she wanted to, and as they walked it soon became clear that this was
one of those situations.
"Mako-chan?" she asked. "What is it you really wanted to talk
about? We aren't even in the camp grounds any more."
Makoto stopped and sighed, realising how badly she was
procrastinating. "Ami-chan, I know this is kind of personal, but how
did you realise you were attracted to girls?"
Ami blinked at her friend owlishly, caught completely off guard.
"W-what... what do you mean?"
Makoto looked at her and smiled. "Come on Ami-chan, it's not like
it's a secret any more. I've thought that you might have been... that
way inclined... for a while now, but we all know about you and
Haruka-san." Makoto couldn't help but grin as Ami slowly turned red.
"The two of you weren't exactly quiet, after all."
Ami swallowed hard. "Oh my God." Then she realised just how
Makoto had worded that revelation and her embarrassment was replaced
by both worry and a trace of anger. "That way inclined? You sound as
though you don't approve."
Makoto looked down at the ground. "It weirded me out, when I
first thought you might be gay, but you didn't act any different so I
just got used to the idea. Like I did with Haruka-san and Michiru-
san."
Ami nodded at that, understanding some of where Makoto was coming
from. "So yes, you don't approve."
"I..." Makoto fell silent as she tried to find the words. "You've
both just made things a lot more complicated for yourselves. It's not
my business. As long as you're both happy."
Ami sat down on the grass and after a moment Makoto followed suit.
"It was a learning experience," Ami replied. "One that I certainly
needed, and I think Haruka-san did too."
"So you and her, it really was just a one time thing?"
Ami nodded sadly. "I couldn't have approved either if it had been
anything more."
"So," Makoto finally said, "how did you find out you were, you
know, gay."
Ami smiled at Makoto's seeming naivety. "Not gay, just lacking in
preference. Actually I knew from the beginning. As soon as I found
myself looking at boys in a different way during our games classes, I
was doing the same to the girls. I've just felt more comfortable
around other women because so few feel the same way. It is safer, but
I still got flustered when I got letters from girls in my locker."
Makoto's eyes widened. "You did? Did you go out with any of
them?"
Ami blushed a little. "Well, it was just the one time, but no I
never dated. The effect was much the same. I was too scared and
embarrassed to do anything but hide the envelope."
Her intuitive gaze peered into Makoto's eyes. "Mako-chan, why ask
about this now? Are you questioning your own preferences?"
Makoto's instinctive reaction was to deny such a ridiculous
accusation. Looking the way she did - over-tall, well endowed and
outwardly self-assured - it certainly wouldn't have been the first
time she had been accused of being a lesbian. This time it wasn't a
label being slapped on her though. It was a simple question from a
friend.
She nodded. "Maybe. But how is that supposed to work. You can't
just wake up one morning and decide to be gay, can you?"
"I don't think so," Ami replied gently, "but I think you can wake
up and decide that you want to try something you've never tried
before. Or realise one morning that there was something there that
you never noticed before, because you weren't looking at it in the
right way."
"But I don't want to give up liking guys!" Makoto exclaimed, as
much to herself as to Ami. "And how could I not have noticed it
before? We practically spend all our free time together!"
That brought Ami up short. "Mako-chan," she asked tentatively,
"who is it you think you are attracted to?"
Makoto suddenly realised how much she'd said and cursed herself
inwardly. Still, there was no point trying to hide it from Ami of all
people. "... Rei-chan."
Ami let out the mental breath she had been holding and pulled her
frazzled nerves together. Outwardly though, it was as if it had been
nothing more than a small surprise. "Well, you have been spending a
lot more time together now, because of Desir. Without the rest of us
I mean. Back home Rei-chan was always closer to Usagi-chan and
Minako-chan." Ami smiled. "You are both getting to know a lot more
about each other now, I'm sure."
"I can't stop thinking about her," Makoto said, almost in
agreement. "Whether she's okay, whether she'll want to practice
together tonight, whether I'll get to..."
'...hold her again,' she finished mentally. She didn't want to
say that out loud. It sounded too weird. Too personal. "But how am I
supposed to tell her?" she asked eventually, looking back at the
ground. "She has enough to deal with already. She needs help, not
more trouble."
"Just be gentle about it," Ami said, "or better yet wait until
everything has quietened down. You know better than I do what she
needs right now."
Makoto nodded, but remained silent for a moment, and when her
reply did come it was soft and timid. "What if she rejects me, like
my Sempai did?"
Ami lay a comforting hand on Makoto's knee. "At least then you'll
know, right?"
Makoto smiled, Ami's words calming her worried emotions.
The pair got back to their feet and headed back to the camp, and
Ami stopped her friend before they left for the tasks they had both
been set. "I'll be wishing you good luck."
Makoto returned the smile and gave her friend a hug. "Thanks Ami-
chan."
Ami smiled as she left, remembering the tall, attractive transfer
student she had secretly had a crush on back in Juuban Junior High
School. She had never said anything, and the crush hadn't lasted, but
they had become the best of friends. That was all that mattered.
***
Friendship, however, wasn't something that could be taken for
granted. Sometimes it could be quite hard work, as Ami well knew. In
fact anyone who was friends with Usagi would have known that. As
ineffably likable as the girl was she could be a real pain as well,
and she had some of the strangest ideas in her educationally phobic
head.
Ami thought that Usagi and Minako could almost have been twins,
but there were a few subtle things that really set them apart. Minako
was that bit more frivolous in Ami's eyes, but also had a wisdom
about life that Usagi was still naive about. Normally Ami would have
considered that second point a blessing, albeit a fairly well buried
one most of the time, but for once that wasn't the case. Minako was
setting herself up for either disappointment, heartache or both, and
she would end up dragging Haruka and Michiru along with her. Ami knew
that none of them should have to deal with that. Why else would she
have stopped when she did? For all Ami knew she herself had already
caused enough damage. She just wanted Minako to reconsider before she
did the same thing.
"No."
Ami blinked in surprise, and Minako repeated herself, just to
make sure she was being understood.
"No Ami-chan. Why do you think I haven't considered enough
already?"
Ami couldn't have begun to describe how confused she was by that,
but Minako's apparent lack of responsibility managed to draw out some
of Ami's well controlled ire. "Minako-chan! Think about Haruka-san
and Michiru-san. You can't want to sabotage what they have."
"I don't," Minako agreed, "but we're all lost out here, and we're
all lonely. I don't want to live like that Ami-chan. If I can help
Haruka-chan cope with being lost for a little while, and if she can
help me, then I want that. We can't all be like you Ami-chan, and
even you don't want to be alone. You proved that already. I can let
go when I have to, but I can't walk away and pretend I don't want to
have a little happiness here."
"But what if you can't let go?" Ami countered. "What... what if
Haruka-san can't? If you try to... be together, like that, you can't
say you're not putting their love at risk. Emotions don't work so
easily as that."
Minako looked down. "I only wish they did. It would have made a
lot of things easier. I'm not going to give up Ami-chan. I'll try and
love her, at least for a little while, and hope that she has enough
love left to love me back just a little bit. And if we ever get home
I'll go back to boy-watching, and singing, and I know Haruka-chan and
Michiru-san care enough to make it work between them, even if
something has changed."
"B-but," Ami said, holding back her tears, "it's not right."
Minako tried to give her a smile. "Life is what you make of it. I
want to make another little bubble that I can enjoy, with Haruka-chan
this time, and when it bursts I'll make another one. And another.
Don't be afraid to blow bubbles Ami-chan, or else you'll get old
while you're still young!"
That broke Ami's tearful mood and she giggled, wiping at her eyes.
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, but..."
Minako nodded, her mood sombre. "I know. I still want to be your
friend Ami-chan, but I have to try."
After she had gone Ami could only respect Minako's inner strength,
even if she didn't like what she was doing. Ami knew, if she tried to
do the same, she wouldn't have been able to let go. It was hard
enough as it was already.
Ami just hoped that, if Minako succeeded, she wouldn't feel too
jealous of what Minako's strength had won her.
***
To Be Continued...
***
Back to Fallen Stars Index - Back to Sailor Moon Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction