Diaries (part 5 of 5)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by Desslok

Back to Part 4
Minako

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I am worried about the team.  No one else seems to be worried, 
but it's my job.   We all follow our princess, but I'm the 
leader.  I'm worried about this relationship between Ami and 
Makoto.  They haven't admitted anything yet, but it is really 
obvious that they are an 'item' now. Maybe I'm the only one who 
sees it because of who I am, of what I represent.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for both of them.  They both 
suddenly seem at peace.  It's just that love isn't our first 
concern.  Our primary responsibility has to be to protect the 
Moon Princess, not just because we love Usagi completely, but 
because she represents the salvation of everything.  We have all 
died for her.  We must all be willing to again.  Will Ami and 
Makoto be willing to sacrifice the lives of each other to save 
Usagi?   They have to be.  

It's kind of ironic, the 'goddess of love' concerned because two 
of her very best friends are in love.  I should be happy for 
them.  Maybe I'm just jealous.  A long time ago, one of the bad 
guys told me that my love would always be hopeless, that I'd 
never escape from my duty.  Maybe I'm upset because Ami and 
Makoto have found a way to marry love and duty.  We've all known 
for awhile now that we'll be together forever.  Maybe if they've 
found a way, the rest of us can, too.

I wonder sometimes if it could ever be possible for one of us to 
love someone truly who wasn't part of our 'circle.'   I mean, 
love is about shared experiences, common bonds, two people 
sharing their lives together.  I see some boy on TV or at school 
and think, 'wow, he's hot,' but can I really see myself spending 
eternity with some hot boy?  Thinking someone is cute is not 
love.  Love is like what I have with my friends, but deeper.  
Just last week, I spent the night over at Rei's house.  Usagi and 
her family were on vacation and Ami and Makoto made excuses not 
to come over.  (Now I know why!)   Rei and I just spent the whole 
night talking, doing each other's hair, watching TV and reading 
together.  We even went out for a walk in the garden underneath 
the stars.  I remember standing there next to her and thinking 
that I could spend my entire life just like that.  I think that's 
love.

None of this solves the problem though.  I'm not even sure there 
is a problem.  I'll just have to talk to Ami and Makoto about it 
directly.  Besides, once the cat is out of the bag there's no way 
to get it back into the stable!  Then, I can tease them non-stop!  
It serves them right for being so kawaii!

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