Destiny's Rainbow
"Back beat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you’ve heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don’t believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now."
-Oasis, "Wonderwall"
She really should have known better than to think her greatest dream
could be realized, right there, just like that.
"Oh, Usagi..." she moaned, lost in herself.
"Rei..." said the object of her affection, uncertain.
They were sitting on the edge of Usagi's bed, locked in a passionate
embrace. Or, at least, Rei was passionate. Usagi was more like a dead
fish.
"Aishiteru, Usagi-chan," Rei said, caressing her friend's soft skin.
"Rei, I..." Usagi repeated.
Rei did not allow her an opportunity to finish what she was about to
say. She drew Usagi into a warm, passionate kiss, her tongue fighting
for position in the blonde's mouth. Usagi tried to say something, but
could not find the ability. As Rei moaned into her mouth, Usagi clenched
the bed sheets into a tight fist. Rei began to sense there was something
wrong, and just as she was about to disengage her mouth from Usagi's,
the blonde shoved her back onto the bed.
"Usagi, what-"
"Stop it, Rei!" Usagi cried. "Just stop it!"
Usagi covered her face with her hands and began to cry. Tears spilled
out from between her fingers and into her lap. Just the sight of this
made Rei want to cry herself, but instead she offered Rei a comforting
hand. She rubbed Usagi's shoulder gently.
"What is it, Usagi?" she asked. "What's wrong?"
"Rei," Usagi choked. "I-we can't do this."
"Why not?"
"It...it wouldn't be right."
"What do you mean? Like Haruka and Michiru?"
"No, that's not it," Usagi said, and to Rei's relief she stopped crying.
"I mean, I can't be in love with you."
Rei wasn't sure if her dream had just been realized or destroyed with
that sentence.
"Do you mean you-?" she asked.
Usagi returned Rei's embrace and started sobbing again. "Oh Rei, I love
you all. You know that..." Rei felt her heart sink at what she thought
was coming. There had to be a "but." "But I can't be *in* love with
you."
The Senshi of Fire could feel her inner flame dying.
"I love Mamo-chan, Rei. You know that. You used to love him, too."
Dying...
"We already know what happens. Mamo-chan and I get married, we have
Chibi-Usa, and we become the King and Queen of the Earth. And you...
you're only a Senshi..."
Dying...
"It's destiny, Rei. I-we can't fight it."
Dying...gone. In those words, her beloved had torn Rei's heart out and
ripped it to shreds. She wanted to run. She wanted to die. She didn't
know what she wanted to do. But she wasn't crying; she was beyond tears.
She didn't think she had any left to shed.
'Only a Senshi, only a Senshi...'
"Usagi," Rei said without breathing, "I love you. I've always loved you.
I always will. I think you know that, and I think you also know I could
never live with being only a Senshi. Goodbye, Usagi-chan."
Rei jumped off the bed and ran out the door without looking back. Usagi
was drawn out of her sorrow in pure shock. She ran after the girl,
calling her name over and over.
"Rei! Wait, Rei! Where are you going? REEEEIIII!!"
Usagi's cries remained unanswered, and Rei's dark hair blended in
against the darkness of the night street. She was camouflaged, she was
silent, and she was gone. Usagi collapsed in her front doorway and
cried.
-----
"Thanks for everything, Suna-chan," Haruka said.
The four Outers were on their way out of a high-class restaurant, which
Setsuna had offered to pay for in celebration of Haruka and Michiru's
fifth anniversary of the day they met. The food had been wonderful, the
music, the atmosphere...everyone was dressed in their best, the couple
enjoyed it and so had Hotaru. Even the Senshi of Time herself had been
having more fun than she had in a long time, until Haruka had brought up
a personal, and rather painful, issue.
"So, Suna-chan," the sandy-haired woman had said, "When are you going to
find a significant other of your own?"
The question had jolted Setsuna out of her reverie, watching the lovely
pair enjoy each other's company. It wasn't exactly an unusual thing to
hear, especially from Haruka, who became annoyingly nosy when she was
drunk, and she'd had more than her fair share of champagne tonight. But
lately Setsuna had been dawning on this issue more than usual. Perhaps
the anniversary was getting to her more than she wanted to admit. After
all, Haruka and Michiru had met so easily, fallen for each other so
easily, complemented each other so perfectly, and were having the time
of their lives. Where was *her* knight in shining armor?
It might not have been so bad if Michiru hadn't complicated things in
her attempt to help.
"Ruka, leave her alone," the green-haired woman had said. "If Setsuna
wants to take her time and find exactly the right person, it's her
choice."
But that was just the problem: Setsuna didn't want to take her time.
She'd been waiting for thousands of years, and she was tired of waiting.
"Well when she does, I'd like to meet this person and congratulate her
myself," Haruka slurred.
'Her'...?
"Come on," Hotaru piped up. "Just because you're gay doesn't mean she is
too."
"How could she not be after living next to THIS?" Haruka asked, flexing
her muscles.
Michiru sighed, irritated, and slapped Haruka with her napkin. Then she
grabbed Haruka by her tie and pulled her forward so that their faces
were inches apart.
"Don't make an ass of yourself on our special day, *honey*," Michiru
said.
Setsuna hadn't known what to think after this exchange. Until recently,
she probably would have retaliated with something dryly humorous to
Haruka's immediate presumption that her "significant other" would be a
woman. But this was something else she had been asking herself lately,
and been getting no answer.
"Setsuna? Setsuna!"
"What? Oh..."
Michiru had snapped the Senshi of Time out of her stupor. And they were
not inside the restaurant anymore, but outside it, ready to head home.
"I just wanted to say thank you again," Michiru said.
"Oh, you're welcome, Michiru-chan," Setsuna said.
"Yeah, thanks a whole bunch!" Haruka muttered drunkenly. Michiru had to
hold her tipsy partner up to keep her on her feet. "You reaaallly [hic]
did us a good one, Suna-chan [hic]..."
They had taken two cars to the restaurant, a fact that every non-loaded
person there was grateful for. Haruka was certainly not in any condition
to drive.
"Do you want a ride home, Hotaru-chan?" Setsuna asked.
"No thanks, Setsuna-mama," the girl answered. "Michiru-mama is going to
drive me to Ami-san's house. I need her to help me with my English
homework."
"OK then," Setsuna said. "I guess I'll be on my way then."
Before she could leave, a maitre 'd approached them. "Phone call for
Tenoh Haruka? Is Haruka Tenoh here?" he asked.
Haruka jerked her head up at the sound of her name, and looked the man
up and down. "Sorry, I like girls," she said. "But don't feel too bad,
you're not that bad-looking."
Michiru rolled her eyes. "I'll take it."
He handed her the phone and walked away, a stunned expression on his
face. Michiru put her ear to the receiver.
"This is Michiru. Oh, hello, Usagi-chan! What? She did what? Oh my Gods!
And then...she WHAT?!"
Setsuna's expression intensified.
"Well, OK, we'll look out for her. Yes, we'll call you right away. I'm
so sorry, Usagi-chan. Goodbye."
"What was that about?" Setsuna asked.
"That was Usagi. She said Rei-chan confessed her love for her, and when
she said she couldn't love her back, she ran out of the house and
disappeared."
Every muscle in Setsuna's body seemed to tighten. She had seen this
coming for a long time, been hoping and praying it wouldn't, but she
should have known better. Even so, the news hit her like a wrecking
ball. Perhaps if it had been anyone else...
"Oh no! What's wrong with Rei-san?" Hotaru asked.
Setsuna knew what she had to do.
"Michiru-chan, you go ahead and take Hotaru-chan where she needs to go,"
Setsuna said. "I'll look for Rei-chan. I'll find her."
"Yeah! You do that! [hic]" said Haruka.
Setsuna rolled her eyes. "And take her with you."
Michiru nodded as Setsuna ran to her car without looking back, started
the engine, and drove off into the night.
-----
'Only a Senshi. Only a Senshi.'
Rei hadn't stopped running since she left Usagi's house about 15 minutes
ago. Her time as a Senshi had done good things for her physical
condition, and at the speed she was running, she might have run two to
two and a half miles since then. But she was running on empty. She felt
like a candle that had been extinguished, like a tool that had lost its
only purpose. And what do you do with a tool that didn't work anymore?
You threw it away.
'Only a Senshi. Only a Senshi.'
She couldn't get Usagi's words out of her head. Was that all she was to
her? She had exposed her deepest feelings to her future princess. She
felt like a naked freak with thousands of people pointing and laughing
at her; there might as well have been, for all the shame and
embarrassment she felt.
'Only a Senshi. Well I wish I'd never become a Senshi!'
In her mind and heart she cursed the day Usagi had stumbled into her
life, dragging Ami, Luna and the Mars henshin stick along for the ride.
What had Sailor Mars done for Hino Rei except complicate her life? If
she had never become Sailor Mars, she wouldn't have neglected her duties
at the shrine, she wouldn't have fallen behind in her schoolwork, she
wouldn't have died over and over from fighting the scum of the universe,
and by now she might even have been engaged to Yuuichiro, instead of
some kind of freak lesbian with a broken heart.
All the normal people Rei knew were preoccupied with their future,
trying to get a good education, secure a career for the future, start a
family, everything normal people were supposed to do. But Rei knew that
as a Senshi, she would be alive a thousand years from now, and all the
boys she knew (except for Mamoru, but forget about THAT) had how much
longer to live? Sixty years? Maybe seventy, if they were lucky. She knew
the future. It was GOING to happen, beyond a shadow of a doubt. It was
destiny-her destiny, to be only a Senshi.
It was GOING to happen. That was, if you believed Setsuna, which she did
implicitly. Rei had gotten glimpses of the future during the Dark Moon
Family episode, but she didn't have any way to look back and forth
between today and a thousand years from now. Setsuna did. If there was
ever anyone who knew anything about destiny, it was Setsuna.
Rei had always wanted to ask the Senshi of Time certain things, but had
never mustered the courage. But she refused to accept the idea that her
own future was not in her hands. And as luck had it, she found a way to
test whether or not it was.
Luck in the form of a bridge. She had finally made her way out of the
residential part of town where Usagi lived, and the land cut off sharply
into a deep, rocky ravine. The road extended to the other edge of the
ravine via the bridge. Rei ran to the middle of the bridge and looked
over the handrail. There were was nothing but a stony drop beneath her,
leading down to a rocky shore.
'For some reason the Kami decided it was important for the Senshi to
rule the world of the future. Well, what if I decide I don't want to be
one anymore? Are they going to stop me? Are they going to make me bounce
off those rocks? Are they going to make the wind blow me back up to the
bridge? Well, we'll see. I implore all the Kami, if there's any reason
for me to live after losing my one love, show me now!'
-----
'Oh, Rei-chan, where are you...'
Setsuna had been driving for about 15 minutes. If Rei had left Usagi's
house on foot, she couldn't be more than a few miles from there by now,
so she had been patrolling the area around the house since arriving
there.
If she let anything happen to Rei, she would never forgive herself. She
dared not look to the future, for fear of what she might see: a Crystal
Tokyo without a Sailor Mars. And if the problem was as serious as she
feared, what happened in the next few minutes would determine if there
was or was not. Her hands tightened around the steering wheel and she
pressed her foot harder against the accelerator.
At that moment she thought she saw something dart just outside the range
of her headlights. Something blackish-purple, blowing in the wind. Her
breathing intensified as she turned the wheel to follow it.
'Please be OK, Rei, please be OK...'
-----
Rei looked down at the rocks that would take her life in seconds. The
Kami had failed to offer her a savior, and she would make her own
destiny now.
"Goodbye, Usagi," she said. "Goodbye Ami, Mako, and everyone else. I
can't live as 'only a Senshi.'"
Rei stepped over the handrail and prepared to let go, when a screeching
sound filled her ears and a bright light washed over her. She looked
over her shoulder, and through her long, flowing hair, she could see a
dark green minivan. One that looked strangely familiar.
"Rei! Don't move!"
It was the voice of Setsuna, Senshi of Time.
"Don't let go, Rei! I'm coming over there!"
Rei didn't answer, but only cast her eyes skyward. Maybe her answer was
a little late, but it came. She stepped back over the handrail and ran
to the green-haired woman, who caught her in a tight embrace.
"Don't ever do something that stupid again!" Setsuna said. "How could
you think of killing yourself?! What were you thinking?! I-we-everyone
needs you! We NEED you, Rei-chan!"
Rei pressed her cheek against Setsuna's chest. "Oh, Setsuna-san, I don't
know what I was thinking. I told her I loved her, and she said she loved
me, but not THAT way, and I just lost it...I felt like I wanted to die,
I don't know...I just can't take it anymore!"
As they stood there, illuminated by the light of Setsuna's headlights,
Setsuna held the Senshi of Fire, stroking her hair, and the tears Rei
had been fighting back finally came.
-----
"Moshi moshi?" said the tired voice on the other end of the phone.
"Usagi-chan?" Setsuna said.
"Setsuna-san? What is it?"
"I got your phone call earlier, and I just thought I should let you know
...Rei's here."
The next thing Setsuna heard was a loud slamming sound and some
scuffling. Apparently Usagi had dropped the phone. "Hello? Setsuna?"
"Yes."
"I'm so glad she's OK...what happened?"
"I found her about to jump off the bridge about three miles from your
house," Setsuna said, and heard Usagi gasp. "I took her home, and she's
asleep now."
Setsuna looked into her bedroom, where Rei was practically passed out on
her bed, on top of the covers.
"I-I probably shouldn't talk to her now anyway," Usagi said. "She needs
a while to think about things, and so do I." Setsuna was surprised at
the maturity Usagi was exhibiting. "Just promise me one thing, Setsuna-
san," Usagi pleaded. "Don't let her out of your sight. Don't let her do
anything stupid. I couldn't live with myself if that happened."
'Neither could I...and I'll never let her out of my sight,' Setsuna
thought. But all she said was a sympathetic "yes."
They stayed on the phone a few minutes more, saying nothing except for
an occasional sniffle from Usagi. Finally Usagi said she had to get some
sleep, and hung up the phone. Setsuna walked into her room and looked at
the sleeping Rei. She pulled the covers out from the sleeping Senshi of
Fire and lay them on top of her. Rei wasn't exactly a neat sleeper, and
was taking up practically the whole bed. So Setsuna wheeled her chair
over next to the bed and sat down in it. She fell asleep keeping watch
over the sleeping girl.
-----
When Setsuna woke up late the next morning, beams of light were creeping
in through the window slats, shining down onto Rei's sleeping face. The
events of the past night must have been traumatic, Setsuna thought. It
was amazing the girl could stand it, and it was more amazing she had
agreed to come with her so easily. If she hadn't known better, she might
have said it was destiny.
She wondered what had awakened her until she heard a loud thumping
sound. Moments later the doorknob twisted and a severely disheveled
Haruka walked in. Her hair was in ragged clumps, her shirt was crumpled
and half-buttoned, and her tie was still anchored around her neck,
despite obvious (and unsuccessful) attempts to take it off. Her eyes
were half-closed, and Setsuna could still smell the effects of last
night on her.
Shaking her head, Haruka muttered, "Suna? What happened? Who-?" She
noticed there was someone in Setsuna's bed, and when she realized who it
was, her bleary eyes snapped wide open. "Huh?! Rei-what?! Suna..."
Setsuna shushed the sandy-haired woman, who rubbed her head and closed
the door again.
-----
Rei didn't wake up until late that afternoon, and Setsuna hardly left
her side until then. It looked like she had cried all she was going to
for a while, but her spirit was still crushed.
"Do you want to say anything?" Setsuna said with a nurturing tone.
"I don't know," Rei muttered, looking away.
Setsuna sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.
"Usagi called earlier." Nothing. "She wanted to know...how you were
doing." Rei only moaned softly. "You're not angry at her, are you?"
"No," Rei said. "If anything I'm angry at myself."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I think she just...changed me. Like I'm not the same
person I used to be. Something about Usagi made me a different person."
"What do you mean?"
"When I met her the first time, I thought she was a total loser. A boy-
obsessed, ditzy, not very smart crybaby. And yesterday I found myself in
love with her. What happened to the old Rei? The one with the strong,
passionate flame burning inside her? When did she become a love struck
air head, and why didn't she notice herself changing? And how could she,
HOW could she have fallen in love with a GIRL?"
"Is that what this is about?" asked Setsuna.
"Yes. No. I don't know. When I thought about it, it felt right. Like
there was nothing wrong with loving Usagi, like it didn't matter if she
was a boy or a girl...it just felt right. Now when I think about it, it
just seems weird."
"Weird? You think you're weird for loving Usagi?" Rei only muttered
something unintelligible in response. "Love is love. I don't presume to
know as much about it as Minako-chan, but if you love someone, that's
all that matters. There's nothing weird about two women being in love."
At that moment, they heard Haruka's voice from downstairs.
"Michi? Does this tie go with this bra?" she said.
Michiru shrieked in response. "Look what you made me do! This painting's
ruined! Out out out!"
They heard something crashing, followed by a door slamming. Then they
heard Haruka's footsteps coming up the stairs, and she muttered,
"Sheesh." Rei rolled over and gave Setsuna a sardonic look.
"OK, maybe I don't have a non-weird example close at hand," Setsuna
admitted. She took Rei's hand and held it in both of hers. "But if you
love someone, you owe it to yourself to admit it. And you owe it to them
to say so. Maybe it will work out in the end and maybe it won't, but if
you never try, you'll never know anything but loss and hopelessness.
That's not how you want to live, is it, Rei-chan?"
"That's how I already feel."
"But you don't have to."
"How can I rationalize my way out of my feelings?"
"You can't. You have to let them run their course, but you can't let
them run your life. Sometimes you just have to step in and say, 'Sure,
I've been hurt before, but that doesn't mean I'll get hurt every time.'
You have to fight for your love, Rei, and you have to stand by the ones
you love, even if they don't love you back or don't know you love them."
Rei sighed and put her head back down on Setsuna's pillow. "You sure
seem to know a lot about this, Setsuna-san."
Setsuna stood and looked out the window. She sighed. "I *have* had a few
thousand years to reflect on it, Rei-chan."
'And thousands of years to avoid it,' she thought to herself. 'So
convenient to have the excuse of guarding the Doors. But I'm sick of
spending so much time alone. I don't want to face that great, big
emptiness again.'
"So this has happened to you?" Rei asked.
"Enough times," was the answer.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Rei said hesitantly.
"Don't worry, I promised myself I wouldn't dwell on it."
Rei looked down at the soft bed.
"You haven't eaten anything all day, you know," Setsuna said.
"I'm not hungry."
"Don't go doing that to yourself, Rei. Starving yourself won't make
Usagi like you, and it won't make you feel better about yourself.
Besides, Michiru-chan is an excellent cook. Maybe not as good as Makoto,
but you won't die of food poisoning."
Rei considered. "Well, all right, fine."
It took her several minutes to gather the strength to get out of bed and
walk downstairs, but Setsuna was patient.
-----
Rei looked a lot like Haruka had while recovering from a massive
hangover, sitting at the Outers' dinner table that night. Haruka,
fortunately, had cleaned herself up, and was sitting there with Michiru
and Hotaru when Rei and Setsuna arrived.
Michiru noticed that Rei was out of bed and brightened. "Konbanwa, Rei-
chan. Please have something to eat. You're welcome to stay with us as
long as you want."
Rei muttered her thanks and sat down. Setsuna sat next to her without
telling Rei she was sitting in Setsuna's normal place at the table.
Haruka sat at the head of the table, with Michiru and Hotaru on either
side of her. Setsuna traditionally sat next to Michiru, but didn't feel
it was necessary to inform Rei of this fact.
Hotaru looked questioningly at Rei. "Are you OK, Rei-san?"
Rei gave the girl a semi-warm smile. "I'm fine, Hotaru-chan," she said,
even though everyone else could tell she wasn't fine.
Haruka eyed the disheveled girl strangely. This did not escape Setsuna's
notice, and gave the other a questioning gaze.
"Suna-chan, could I have a word with you in private?" Haruka asked.
Setsuna stopped eating and followed Haruka into the hallway, where
Haruka questioned her.
"How long is Rei-chan going to be here?"
"As long as she needs to be."
Haruka bit her knuckle. "Am I detecting that you have...feelings...for
her?"
"I don't know what you're detecting," Setsuna said. "But Rei needs
someone to help her through these times, Ruka-chan. She poured her heart
out to Usagi, and Usagi shot her down." Deep in her own heart, she
wanted to slap her future princess for what she had done to Rei. "And if
we don't offer her that help, there's no telling what could happen to
her. I've already talked to her grandfather and made him aware of the
situation, though I didn't go into great detail."
"You didn't answer my question."
"Whether I have feelings for her isn't important right now, and even if
I did I'm not sure I'd tell anyone right now. But don't try to stop me
from helping her through this, Ruka-chan. How would you feel if Michi-
chan had rejected you?"
Haruka looked at her feet, crossing her arms. "All right, Suna, but be
careful."
"That," Setsuna said, leading the sandy blonde back to the table, "goes
without saying."
They had been eating for several minutes when Hotaru asked an awkward
question.
"Setsuna-mama, do you like Rei-san the way Haruka-papa likes Michiru-
mama?"
-----
Setsuna felt the need to apologize to Rei over the situation Hotaru had
caused that night several times over the next few days. She had a hard
time convincing Rei to participate in the things one did every day, such
as eating or going outside. It seemed that sleeping was the only thing
Rei wanted to do, but Setsuna was having more and more success
connecting with Rei about her feelings and emotions.
If she was making progress emotionally with Rei, she was also growing
closer physically. After the first night, Rei realized she had been
inconsiderate to splay herself across the whole bed, and Setsuna offered
to share it with her. They did this every day afterward, which drew some
funny looks from Haruka and Michiru when they found out. Fortunately,
they were polite enough not to bring it up.
Setsuna offered to let Rei borrow some of her clothes until she could
drive down to Hikawa Shrine and pick up some of Rei's own clothes from
Grandpa. After all, she couldn't keep wearing the same thing she wore
the night Setsuna found her.
All in all, Rei was getting more and more back into her normal routine,
but she still felt as if she had been run over by a truck. Setsuna was
afraid her thing with Usagi would weigh heavily on her mind for a long
time to come. She was patient, being the Guardian of Time, but she hated
seeing Rei in this state. That was when she got an idea. It would
require a little more social activity than she was used to, but her time
with Rei had an impact on her, too. Circumstance had meant that she had
to be all things at all times to the Senshi of Fire, but now it was more
than circumstance, and it was a bit hard to admit to herself, but it was
more than friendship as well.
Somehow she wanted Rei to see that as well. So it was with this in mind
that one night, after Rei and Hotaru had gone to sleep, she took pen to
paper, and asked Haruka and Michiru to break out their piano and violin.
-----
Setsuna slipped a piece of paper into her purse one night and headed up
the stairs to her room, where Rei was asleep as usual. She knocked on
the door a few times, and when she got no response she walked inside.
Rei did not wake as she entered the room, so she gently rubbed the fire
Senshi's shoulder until her eyes opened.
"Mmmm, Setsuna-san?" Rei asked.
"Do you know what time it is, Rei?"
"No," Rei slurred, still half-asleep.
"It's 8 p.m. on a Saturday night, Rei. No one's asleep in bed right now.
Even Hotaru is off at one of her friend's houses."
"So what? I want to sleep."
"Oh no you don't, not now," Setsuna said. She picked some clothes out of
a pile on the floor and threw them at Rei's head. "Wake up, I'm taking
you to a club. You need to get out of this house and do something, meet
people, have fun. What you're doing now isn't healthy."
"I don't want to do something or meet people. I want to go to sleep."
"You want to stay here and be miserable? I don't think you want that,
Rei."
Rei tucked herself deeper into the covers and showed Setsuna her back,
only mumbling a reply. Setsuna jumped onto the bed and leaned over the
girl.
"Come on, Rei. If you don't, I'll take you to the future and show you
your future self, who spent her whole life moping in bed."
"Fine, if you'll get off me I'll go!"
"That's more like it," Setsuna said. "Get dressed and meet me downstairs
in 15 minutes."
With that, she closed the bedroom door, leaving Rei alone in a pile of
clothing.
-----
Not much later, they were driving down the streets of downtown Tokyo,
Rei sticking her head out the window of Setsuna's van, trying to get
herself to wake up. She really had done an impressive job of making
herself presentable, Setsuna mused.
"So where are we going?" Rei asked.
"A club called Crystal's," Setsuna answered. "They have good food there,
and Michi-chan says they have one of the best karaoke nights this side
of town."
"Karaoke? Don't tell me you're going to sing?"
"Is it that strange an idea?"
"I've never heard you sing before, Setsuna-san."
"I usually don't unless I have a very good reason."
"And you have one now?"
Setsuna laughed quietly to herself. "You'll see, Rei-chan, you'll see."
-----
Crystal's lived up to the description Setsuna had given. It was designed
by a new-wave architect, with an unusual paint job and strangely-shaped
furniture. The club was filled with light and music that seemed to come
from every direction. The stage had a more traditional appearance,
however. It was, in fact, karaoke night, and Rei couldn't say anything
bad about the band or any of the singers who had performed so far.
Setsuna had been right about the club's reputation, too.
"So what do you think?" Setsuna had to shout over the music to make
herself heard.
"Actually, I'm having fun," Rei shouted back. And she was telling the
truth-despite her best efforts to mope and whine, she was having more
fun than she'd had since the last time she had seen Usagi.
"You know, Rei-chan, there's a reason I brought you here, of all
places."
"What is it, Setsuna-san?"
"You'll see," she repeated mischievously.
At that moment, the current karaoke singer finished his song, and was
met with a generous round of applause. The disc jockey walked on stage
to shake his hand.
"That was Kumahachi Yotaro, with his version of the Rolling Stones'
'Satisfaction!' Our next performer is from right here in Tokyo, so I'd
like everyone to give her a round of applause. Please welcome Meioh
Setsuna, who will be performing a song she wrote herself!"
As everyone began clapping, Rei turned a dumbfounded look toward the
Senshi of Time, who had to smile.
"Wish me luck!" she said.
Setsuna walked on stage, pulling the piece of paper out of her purse and
handing it to the band. As they studied it, she approached the
microphone.
"Hello, minna-san," she said somewhat timidly. "I'm going to be singing
a song that I wrote with two of my friends called 'Destiny's Rainbow.'
I'd like to dedicate it to someone I know whose inner flame has gone
out, and I'd like to tell her that I've always been there for her, and I
always will be."
'She's talking about me,' Rei said to herself. 'She's doing this for
me?'
Setsuna turned to the band and asked them if they were ready to start.
They answered in the affirmative.
'She really is doing this for me,' Rei thought. But was it that hard to
believe? Setsuna had, after all, been the one who answered her prayer to
the Kami. But she had saved her life in so many other ways, too.
Everything she had done, she had done it for Rei. She had almost single-
handedly fought to bring Rei out of her misery, going to lengths Rei
probably never would have gone to in return. And the thought of that,
and the thought that she had been completely ungrateful and insensitive,
were very painful to Rei.
Setsuna took the microphone in her hand. The drummer counted down for
the band, and they launched into the song. The music was strong, yet
sensitive, just like the one who had written it. Had Setsuna really
written this song? She must have; it was unlike any other Rei had ever
heard before. As the band went into the first repetition of the
instrumental, Setsuna shook her dark green hair out of her face and
began to sing:
"This is a warning
When the tides of fate are turned against you
You feel like burning down and out
But there’s a flame inside us all
And there’s a flame I can’t live without...you."
It was amazing. Setsuna was actually singing, and she was fantastic! Her
voice was excellent, and it went perfectly with the music. The lyrics
were not lost on Rei either; she couldn't have expressed better herself
how she had felt recently.
'A flame she can't live without is...me?'
The chorus began:
"You’re my fire
And if you’ve been put out
You’re my fire
I’ll rekindle your spirit
You’re my fire
And if you’re looking for my heart
You’ll find it where you least expect."
And that was exactly what she had done. But where was where she would
least expect?
"This is a warning
Don’t think there’s nothing you can do
You may think the future has been set in stone
You may think you’re cursed to life alone
But there is no future until you make your own...you."
The song repeated the chorus again, and Rei realized that Setsuna was
telling her what she had wanted to ask for so long, about destiny. And
what she was hearing seemed to be exactly what she had thought in the
first place. Did actually she know destiny, and the Senshi of Time, that
well?
The band continued playing, but Setsuna stopped singing. Instead, she
began talking in her normal voice.
"Fire is a funny thing," she said. "In time it can grow brilliant and
powerful, but if time is unkind, it will flicker and die. But I promise
you this: Time is on our side."
She resumed singing:
"I’m flying over destiny’s rainbow
You’re flying over destiny’s rainbow
Maybe we could meet each other...there."
There was another repeat of the chorus, and an enchanted Rei sat,
transfixed, as Setsuna led the band into the last verse of the song:
"Don’t let the flame inside you die
Don’t let the flame inside you die
I’ll meet you over destiny’s rainbow
This is a warning."
As the guitar trailed off and the final echo of the cymbals died out,
the crowd practically jumped to its feet, lavishing Setsuna with wild
applause and cheers. Rei remained in her seat, completely unable to
stand or even think, until Setsuna walked back to her seat and crushed
the fire Senshi in a loving embrace. It took Rei a few moments to regain
her composure, but when she realized what was happening, she returned
the embrace with a passion she feared herself no longer capable of
producing. And as the club's patrons continued their wild applause, Rei
felt that flame inside her, that Setsuna had warned her so eloquently
about, slowly burning back to life. But this was not the place to say
it. Without warning she grabbed Setsuna's hand and pulled her outside
the club.
"Setsuna-san, I don't know what to say...I don't know how to thank you
enough. You've done so much for me, so much you didn't have to do, and I
haven't told you how much it means to me...how much *you* mean to me."
"Rei-chan, I did it for you because I love you. I love you, Rei-chan."
Rei caught Setsuna in another bear hug. "I know, and I know how stupid
I've been to not have seen it until now. And I...I love you too, Setsuna
-chan."
And with that, the two of them shared a passionate kiss. Setsuna looked
Rei in her deep, dark eyes and saw only her reflection in a burning
flame.
"Do you still think it's weird?" she asked.
"If it's weird, then so am I," Rei said. "Thank you, Setsuna-chan, thank
you so much, for doing so much for me."
"I would have done anything, and I still will. The question is, how are
we going to deal with Haruka when she hears about this?"
Both of them laughed, and their laughter echoed off into the far corners
of the dark night that would soon give way to a new day, a day of
brightest light, of joyous serenity, of totally new beginnings.
The End
-----
"Destiny's Rainbow" copyright 2002.
Lyrics reprinted with permission.
Co-written by "Evil Eric" Sharp and EASTside Four,
Jen Austin and Saturn's Nine.
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