"A Little Deeper" 'In truth there is no better place to be Than falling out of darkness still to see Without a premonition Could you tell me where we stand? I'd hate to lose this light Before we land And when I feel like I can feel once again Let me stay awhile Soak it in awhile If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong Buy a little time For this head of mine Haven for us' The Light Before we Land by The Delgados "Do you think everyone dreams while they're unconscious? Well, wait, that's a stupid question. Of course not everyone dreams. I think, rather, what I'm curious about, is if we can control those dreams..." Makoto shifted her head upwards to meet her guardian's worried gaze. Smiling lightly, the young girl continued with her obvious babbling, "I'm not making any sense, am I? Oh, well. It's not too clear in my head either, so I expect when its clear to me, I'll make it clear to you." Setsuna dipped her head lowly in acknowledgment and then lifted it to watch the television in the upper corner of the waiting room. An anime called "Gunslinger Girl" was playing on the TV. A bit of recognition entered the older woman's brain as she recalled her new charge taking the time to sit down and watch this show a week ago. Setsuna was a bit astonished because she had noticed Makoto's clear lack of interest in television up until that point. It was only during the following week that the guardian became aware of the younger girls fascination in certain animes. 'Probably because the manga's were so good, that she just has to see how the animated versions turn out.' Another thing the dark haired woman was conscious of was Makoto's deep interest in reading and rereading many different kinds of books. The girl didn't have a particular care for one genre or the other either, as she would basically read whatever was in front of her. But upon closer inspection of the chestnut haired girl's book collection, one would take care to note that the more worn books were apt to be of the horror, tragedy, and fantasy sort. Considering Makoto's past, Setsuna wasn't too surprised. "What do you think happened to Ami-san, exactly?" Magenta eyes lowered guiltily as previous thoughts were interrupted. The older woman had been thinking about Makoto and her hobbies while her good friend's child was down the hall being treated. Setsuna was still unclear of the details as to how it happened, as Makoto only walked in at the point they put the young blue haired girl on the gurney, but she didn't think it was too serious. 'Well,' Setsuna pondered, 'It was still serious no matter what, just not life threatening.' Shifting her body and head to meet the other girl's piercing emerald eyes, Setsuna smiled reassuringly at the younger girl. She watched as Makoto visibly relaxed her stance, a hazy dullness crossing over her eyes, leaning back into the chair, and allowing her body to mold to its shape. The guardian was going to comment on how that cannot be at all very comfortable, considering that, though the hospital was very up to date in all equipment and techniques, it has failed to buy any new chairs since the fall of the Berlin Wall; but instead shook herself from that train of thought and back to answering the younger girl's question. "I'm not sure Makoto. But from what you told me what the doctors were saying: shortness of breath, increased heart rate, and chest pain, well..." Setsuna thought carefully. She felt like she should know this answer and bit her lip in deep concentration. The dark haired woman knew she was no doctor, but she had read her fair share of medical journals in her lifetime and spoken with the many doctors and nurses at this hospital. There were few illnesses she was not familiar with, at least in a general sense. Squinting her eyes, Setsuna continued, "It's on the tip of my tongue... why do I feel like I should know this?" The last part she said more as a whisper to herself than to anyone in particular. "It was a panic attack." Quickly, Setsuna lifted her eyes towards the speaker and replied almost automatically, "Oh, Hitomi! A panic attack!? Is she okay?!" Makoto turned to watch her guardian as she brought her hands up to her mouth, furrowing her brow in a tensed and worried state. She hadn't so much acknowledged Ami's mother yet and felt as though she wouldn't give the older Mizuno the pleasure in doing so. Tentatively, the emerald eyed teen reached a hand out towards Setsuna's shoulder and rested it carefully, pressing her fingers into the taut muscle beneath. Watered and bloodshot eyes looked towards the younger girl seeking out a silent plea of comfort from Makoto. When the chestnut haired girl finally understood what was being asked of her, she was interrupted as Hitomi proceeded to answer the older woman's question. Setsuna watched as Makoto bit her lip, noticeably torn between being angry at the blue haired doctor and wanting to help her guardian. After the first few words escaped Hitomi's mouth, the teen decided simply to give up on both and listen to what Hitomi had to say. "She's okay now. We've calmed her down." Setsuna observed as the shorter woman pulled her large spectacles off and lowered herself onto the waiting room seat across from herself and Makoto. Her small frame, slumped over slightly, looking suddenly very old and distraught. Immediately, the dark haired woman found herself taking a seat besides Hitomi, wrapping an arm around her tensed shoulders and giving her the comfort she needed. Dark blue eyes gazed into magenta as the doctor silently thanked Setsuna for the comfort. After a short breath, the older Mizuno began to explain more, "I don't expect she'll be at school for the next few days. Though she's already telling me that she's okay and just wants to go home and rest a bit. She sounds a bit like her old mom in that regard, I guess." A weak smile spread across the older Mizuno's face. Smiling back, Setsuna nodded tentatively. Hitomi let out a tiny laugh and continued to look into the taller woman's eyes. 'Setsuna, you're always here to comfort me.' At the thought, the blue haired woman sighed a little like a school girl. Blushing, she closed her eyes strategically in hopes that she didn't give away her recent thoughts. Upon opening them, she sought out those darkened magenta eyes again. The older Mizuno felt like she fit right into the other woman's arms. 'Like a glove.' Rolling her eyes at the two women before her, Makoto sat up abruptly, inadvertently startling Setsuna, who managed to tear her eyes away from the small woman in her arms. Her guardian shifted her features, giving her teenager an indifferent look. Makoto felt like she was a third wheel and wanted to give them both their privacy. Briefly, the chestnut haired girl wondered why these two weren't together yet, seeing as how they were both completely enamored with one another. Remembering she'd disturbed her guardian and the blue haired doctor, Makoto found her voice. "Can we go see her?" Hitomi's gaze finally broke from Setsuna and curiously eyed the tall teen. Opening her mouth lightly, Hitomi desperately tried to remember who this green-eyed girl was. "This is Kino Makoto. She's been living with me for the past several weeks. I don't recall if I told you, or maybe, if I did, it was in passing. She's also a classmate of Ami's." The dark haired woman squeezed her counterpart's shoulders and smiled approvingly. Dark blue eyes finally registered what was being said and Hitomi stood up swiftly and gracefully, bowing slightly towards Makoto, "It is good to meet you Kino-san. And about visiting Ami, she is currently resting right now," Hitomi chastised herself, thinking that the young girl is probably one of her daughter's good friends. Quickly, the doctor changed her sentiment, "but I will ask her for you, if you like?" Looking downwards, the younger girl thought for a few seconds and then met the older Mizuno's gaze softly. "That's okay. Let her rest. I'll see her at school." Turning on one heel, Makoto began to walk briskly away from the two women. She'd gotten as far as four steps before turning back, looking slightly sheepish. "I'm going for a walk around the hospital." "You should get some fresh air outside," the blue haired woman responded. Smirking, the teen eyed her guardian, who was now looking out the window. Her eyes never left Setsuna as she spoke to the blue haired doctor, "Can't." Hitomi furrowed her eyebrows together, "Why not? It's supposed to be a beautiful day!" Shrugging, Makoto turned away and kept walking. A look of confusion crossed the doctor's face as she sat back down next to Setsuna. Hitomi watched as Setsuna's shoulders fell, a look of disbelief crossing over her face. She laughed lightly, covering her mouth out of politeness. The doctor held back a surge of attraction towards the angelic look on her friends face as she laughed. Magenta eyes met up with dark blue as Setsuna spoke softly. "She can't... because it's raining." --------------------------------------------------- Ami turned over for what seemed like the thousandth time on her hospital bed, snorting in frustration at the lack of comfort she was seeking. She compromised by resting the right side of her head on the pillow and stretching her left leg in front of the right, placing her left hand on her thigh. 'I don't want to be here.' Closing her eyes tightly, the blue haired girl clutched the pillow underneath her head with her free hand. The teen felt embarrassed, to say the least. She was actually very mortified to wake up and find no less than two doctors, one of which was her mother, and two nurses hovering above her, taking her vital signs. After calming her down, her mother shooed the other doctor and one of the nurses out of the room and proceeded to explain to Ami what had happened. Apparently Nurse Utashin was doing her hourly check down the hallways and found the young Mizuno on the floor hyperventilating and clutching at her chest. A few moments later, Ami had passed out. The nurse called down the hallway to a janitor passing by to contact the nearest doctor and Dr. Mizuno. After several minutes of Yumi checking for any heart irregularities, the pediatrics doctor, came running down the hallway followed by two nurses pushing a gurney. They lifted Ami onto the gurney and pushed her to the nearest open room, proceeding to examine her. It was only shortly thereafter that Hitomi showed up. 'Looking ever so pale and frightened,' Ami had endured from Nurse Utashin. After her mother had left the room, to check on the state of the e.r., the plump nurse came waltzing in regaling all the dramatic details of her mothers scared and worried state. It wasn't enough that the teen was embarrassed from having had a simple Panic Attack' but the nurse had to add salt to the wound, adding to the guilt she felt for putting her mother in such a position. Turning towards the pillow, the blue haired girl buried her face in it mumbling and groaning loudly in irritation. "What was that? I couldn't really understand considering your face was buried in cotton." Baby blue eyes shot up in alarm along with the rest of the body. Ami promptly seized hold of her glasses sitting on the table next to the bed and pulled them on, rather ungracefully. A gasp escaped the small girl's lips when she saw who was standing at the foot of her bed. "H-h-how did you get in here?" The meek voice was barely above a whisper as it spoke causing the listener to strain her ears so much that she felt as though she would pull a muscle. Emerald eyes danced with mischief as they watched their prey wrap her arms around her small frame, attempting to steady her already frail state. The tall teen felt her breath escape from her lungs as she watched her classmate looking very sleepy, confused, and very, very cute. She allowed her eyes to linger across Ami's round, proportioned face, taking in her slightly spread lips, which were incidentally opening and closing due to the confusion. Green eyes trailed across the blue haired girl's cheek to a blotchy red, button nose, up along the brow line above her left eye. Makoto suppressed a shudder and shook the naughty thoughts out of her brain; thoughts of kissing up that same path. A twinge of guilt entered the teen's brain as she watched the small girl compose herself. Maybe a surprise attack wasn't such a good idea. Allowing the Cheshire grin to wash from her face, the chestnut haired girl strode confidently over to the chair next to the bed, plopping down in it. Propping one foot on the base bar of the hospital bed, Makoto softened her features to what she thought would pass as an acceptable sympathetic look, and spoke. "The door was unlocked, I just didn't want to knock and wake you up," Green eyes widened into a guilty expression as she went on, "I wanted to make sure you were okay, is all." "For some reason, I have a difficult time believing the first part of that." Blue eyes had turned icy upon listening to her peer's explanation. Ami wondered if she must have been delirious earlier for wanting to talk with this girl so much. 'Perhaps that was the main cause of the attack...' Her thoughts were interrupted as the taller girl responded, "Ah! Well, alright, you caught me. I did want to scare you awake from your sleep." The grin had spread back across Makoto's face while admitting her sin, "But, you know, I didn't do too bad a job here. Improvisation is definitely not a skill easily mastered." The genius' mind was reeling. She felt as though she was talking to a completely different Kino Makoto than whom she met before. Unconsciously, she gripped at the bridge of her nose again, moving her hand up to rub her forehead after a few seconds, trying to comprehend the scene before her. 'This must be some weird residue dream I'm having.' The logical portion of the blue haired girl's brain kicked in without hesitation, reasoning on the pattern of events. Blue eyes closed and hands fell back to their sides as Ami worked out the equations in her head. Panic Attack--> Hyperventilation * Passing out / injection of several calming drugs = uninhibited state --> mind free to think up last thoughts on the brain = glasses suddenly moving on their own with the added feeling of warmth... The smaller girls' eyes shot open again at the last portion of her thought and gawked silently as the scraggly brute before her had reached out both hands to straighten the eyeglasses which sat crookedly across the young girl's nose. The heat from Makoto's hands resonated against blotchy, sleep-ridden skin, causing Ami to blush a deep red. She simply stared, unmoving, eyes wide open, and not breathing. "There you go." Both hands pulled back all too quickly from the flushed and red face, much to Ami's dismay. Baby blue eyes continued to gaze upon the boyish-looking girl before her, watching as the other girl brushed the long and greasy strands of hair from across emerald eyes. And once again, green met up with blue, and Ami watched curiously as emerald eyes seemingly danced. "Thanks." "Not a problem." The shorter girl paused a moment, sorting out what to say next. Makoto tilted her head, keeping eye contact with her classmate during the silence. The taller girl noted that the silences between herself and Ami were becoming less and less intolerable and that maybe the genius wasn't so bad to be around. "Why are you so different now?" The words escaped her lips before the young girl even had a chance to stop herself. She had been debating between whether or not to ask the taller girl to leave the room so that she could get some rest and instead, suddenly had the desire to ask this question instead. 'Is this actually a dream, Makoto? What is going on?' Emerald eyes blinked rapidly as the chestnut haired girl realized she was so instantly put on the spot. Finally breaking the eye contact between herself and Ami, Makoto eyed the instruments surrounding her shorter companion and took note of the slowing beeps showing that the genius' heart rate was decreasing finally. Slowly and deliberately, the tall girl replied, "I don't think I'm so different." The small teen lowered her gaze to her clasped hands sitting in her lap as she replied softly, "Well, I mean, earlier, you were just so intense. Now, you're..." Ami paused lightly, taking a small breath, "You're being so friendly and... goofy." The corner of Makoto's mouth turned up as she felt another smile crossing her face. "I was the intense one!? Hm... Go figure." Confusion entered Ami's brain as she comprehended what her classmate was saying. She thinks I'm intense? 'Well... of course I am, but... not as...' "Ah, well, I gotta go home. Meioh-san likes to be home before dark." Blue eyes looked up to see the chestnut haired girl looking at the watch on her right arm rather disdainfully. Oddly, the genius didn't want her classmate to go so quickly; she felt calmed; despite the jolt she received earlier. Quirking one eyebrow upwards, Makoto suppressed a laugh as she continued, "Actually, I think she just wants to be home in time to watch Andromeda. That Setsuna, really." The chestnut haired girl allowed a snicker to escape as she stood up from the chair. Ami watched as the tall girl made her way towards the door. The baggy, boyish clothes and thin, sickly frame didn't seem to bother her as much as they did before. In fact, the small girl thought, she doesn't really look brutish at all. There's a sort of... roguish quality about her. "Thank you for visiting me." The blue haired girl surprised herself as she finally found her voice and spoke loud and clearly, causing Makoto to turn suddenly. The tall girl simply smiled and nodded before turning back towards the door and letting herself out.
Back to Deep Down Index - Back to Sailor Moon Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction