As It Washes From The Day To The Night And Back Again
ABOUT THIS FIC: Before I get any weird looks let me just tall you I
love non-canon pairings, and it presents a nice challege to make an
non-canon couple seem even remotely possible. Helps to exercise the
artistic muscles and all that. Also on a review for my story "No I
have No though of Time" I was asked if I could try and write this
pairing. Never one to back down from a challenge, I set to work. I
hope I have succeeded... and if nothing else I hope it is worthy of
response of some sort. I'm very sure I made this tale cliche... I
apologize if that is the case... but as the audience you would know
much better than I if this is a good fic or not, and I hope you tell
me so. ^_^ Thanks for your attention.
---
Light crept into the room, playing softly against walls. Small flashes
brushed against her face. The heat was causing her to stir just a bit.
A crystal hanging in the window captured small pieces of the rising
sun, casting a multitude of rainbows to dance across her waking form.
Bits of information became solid as her crimson eyes slowly opened:
the time on the clock, the warmth of the new day, the faint scent of
cedar and something distant... like roses only not as strong. More
aware with each passing moment she was gently reminded of another's
presence in her bed, and the memory caused a slight smile to tug at
her lips. An olive toned hand reached out to grace her guest with a
soft touch and almost immediately began play with silky strands of
blonde hair. She wondered if there was a word, a sound that could
describe how she felt. And though music was never a subject she
excelled at she was sure the only thing that could come close to
revealing her emotions at that moment was the delicate play of a
piano. Something maybe that sounded a slightly sad, with bits of joy
weaving in and out. A whispered chuckle left her lips at the bizarre
thought, and the slight movement was enough to cause her guest to
stir, cuddle up close. Creating in Setsuna Meiou's mind what she
thought must have been a perfect picture, sweet alabaster contrasting
to the lightest of ebonies, long evergreen locks loosely tangled with
silky and golden blonde. And if it were up to her, she would have
lived in that moment forever, because nothing was better. The clock
ticked and Setsuna's lover stirred even more, a light groan escaping
pink lips. The senshi of time agreed with the irritation; the mornings
were never long enough. Her eyes shut as gentle arms pulled from her
making it official; the moment was over. Lost to the wind and the
swirling fog of time.
She sat up, eyes the color of wine watching the way her love started
across the room, chaotically gathering clothing and trying to organize
thoughts into coherent sentences. Setsuna gathered a few of the
blankets to her bare form. She sighed as the young woman tearing
around her room stopped, lost in thought, or confused by something.
"Lose something?" The time guardian's voice was smooth as velvet,
sultry and low. A tickle up the spine.
The blonde looked over, broad smile sweeping over her face; bright
blue eyes shimmering like the depths of the ocean. "I seem to have
misplaced my communicator... you know how Luna and the girls get if
they can't find me." Her voice was a touch or two higher, and full of
an unnamable charm, and warmth. Something ethereal and magical that
made one smile upon hearing it. "Do you remember where we uh...
y'know?"
Setsuna chuckled, something out of normal character that she was
rapidly becoming accustomed to. She took a deep breath and slid out of
the bed, foregoing covering herself. With a light step she elegantly
reached out to an antique dresser and picked the missing communicator
up. Her lover took the object, slight blush inching over her face.
"Now I feel bad I have to leave so soon," the young woman said,
inching closer to the tall beauty before her.
"Then stay." The request was polite; nearly as polite as the embrace
she took her love into. "Stay Usagi, just once."
The young woman lost her smile, pulling from the embrace slightly.
"You know I can't."
"I do." Setsuna chided her self for her show of emotions, and then
chided her self for that. "We can't continue like this forever."
"I know."
"And you know the fut-"
"Don't talk about it," Usagi whispered returning to the full pull of
the embrace. Her lips meeting deeply tan skin briefly. "I have to go."
Setsuna let the blonde ease away from her, suddenly ripped from the
present by a vision that nearly made her cry. "You better go then,"
the senshi of time replied as she shakily returned from the intruding
images of the near future.
"Setsuna, are you alright?"
"Fine." She looked as if someone had socked her in the gut.
Usagi wanted to stay behind; she had an excuse now. She lingered, a
bit of concern and sadness etched onto her face. Setsuna kept from
getting close again.
"Don't worry about it Usa. You had better go or you'll be late."
She watched her lover slowly shrink away, took in the concerned and
lost look she received and wished to the heavens that she was not
Sailor Pluto. Wished for once she was just Setsuna, no powers, no
duty, but she was always Sailor Pluto, always the guardian of time.
There was no place she existed where that was not so. Before Usagi
slipped out the door she called out.
"Usa!"
The young woman spun around hand still touching the doorknob.
"No matter what love... no matter what... You will always be loved."
Never meant you no harm
Never meant you no harm yeah...
And she'll go yeah
When (she) goes
As she picked at the pink melted mess that was once her sundae her
mind drifted to the cryptic parting words of her lover. And that
velvety voice liked to haunt her, but then it always had. Not so much
from their very first meeting, but ever since Usagi met Pluto as the
elegant and mysterious college student, Setsuna Meiou. She sighed a
little, the group of chattering girls around her too busy watching as
Rei and Minako battled it out on some video game to notice. She
couldn't keep things secret much longer. The charade was getting old
rather quickly, and it wasn't fair to anyone keeping such a secret.
"But why is it secret," she muttered to herself, lifting a spoonful of
melted ice cream to her mouth.
"Why is what secret?"
Usagi started and then laughed nervously as she turned to face Ami.
"Uh nothing..." She was terrible at lying when she was caught off
guard, in fact she was terrible at lying no matter the occasion. She
always got caught. "Just... um... you know talking to myself about the
weather... boys... um," she stumbled over her excuses and then sighed.
"Look it's just been one of those crazy kind of days you know?"
"I suppose," Ami replied sheepishly. Concern present on her face.
"You know if you are having problems-"
"I can talk to you guys anytime," Usagi cut in gently. "Yes..." her
focus was drifting. "Yes I know."
The blue haired genius next to her quirked an eyebrow and added
soberly, "I know it's been difficult for you what with Mamoru breaking
up with you and going to America."
Usagi tried not to let a mocking laugh escape her lips, instead she
lightly giggled, "Oh it hasn't been that hard... besides it was very
mutual."
"Of course."
"When I have something to tell I'll tell," the blonde stated. "Until
then don't worry 'kay?"
Ami nodded and turned her attention back to the on going video game
challenge. Usagi joined her forcing a smile where she felt none.
The day continued at an even pace in much the same way. No trials or
tribulations to distract and Usagi wished there were. Because when she
was alone, or the rest of her friends were busy with something else...
her mind would wander down avenues she didn't want see. Questions
popped in her head she didn't want to ask. All the unseen
possibilities of what Setsuna could possibly have meant spun around in
her brain. By the end of the day she was exhausted and though she was
tired Usagi found her self in need of a long walk. So she left for a
park she liked.
The green of the grass was covered with a thin layer of cherry
blossoms, making it look almost like winter. The wear of the day
finally catching up to her she took a seat on a bench overlooking a
small pond. The setting sun reflected in darker shades on the water.
She loved sunsets. She loved the colors streaking bold and lovely
across the sky. Oranges washing to purples as the night devoured the
day. Her gaze dipped from the sky to the pond, birds happily swooping
briefly into the water, ducks floating carelessly by. And when she
wished it most she felt a gentle hand gracing her shoulder. She leaned
back into the bench and shut her eyes, enjoying the moment.
"Why did I want to keep this secret," Usagi whispered. "Remind me."
A smooth and sultry voiced whispered close to her in reply, "You were
afraid they wouldn't understand."
She rolled her eyes, "My that sounds terribly stupid doesn't it?"
"Not really," Setsuna offered wisely. "But if I told you it wouldn't
matter to them... would you believe me?"
"Yes." A breathy response followed by a rather long sigh. She titled
her head to look deep into sad merlot colored pools. "You don't seem
convinced."
The older woman shrugged, and in one fluid motion took a seat next to
her love. She briefly recalled how she never intended to take a lover.
How long ago she made up her mind that love and companionship would
sway her from the greater task of being the guardian of time. But it
was the very things she thought would make her weak that made her
stronger. Setsuna thought it was a shame that she could not always
show it though. She guarded her heart, as she guarded the gates. Only
a few were privileged enough to know her well and nothing made her
happier than knowing Usagi was the only person to know her completely.
With her left hand she gently wiped a few stray golden locks from
Usagi's face, and wrapped her right arm around the young woman's
waist, pulling her close.
"It is my duty to protect you as a senshi. It is my duty to also keep
the time line free of abnormalities, problems that could arise,"
Setsuna whispered. "But duty is nothing compared to what I feel for
you." She kissed the top of Usagi's head gently. "No matter what, you
are the only one who can make this lonely heart beat. The only one who
saves me from solitude... my beautiful princess..."
The senshi of time trailed off as she fell captive to the want of
bright blue eyes. Her lips inched ever closer to fill a need both
felt. Love was a dangerous thing for them. It burned in deep, echoed
of pasts that never existed and futures that were clearly unknown. And
worse... far worse was a feeling of all-consuming dread that something
would tear them apart. Be it monsters, demons, people, it was the
threat of loss that made them fear most of all. Usagi and Setsuna
found themselves lost in a kiss, lasting and deep like the halls of
time, the span of space, the endless drops of rain that filled the
oceans.
And she'll go yeah
When (she) goes yeah
We will go where nobody knows our name
It was hard to say when the world crashed down around them. Hard to
describe the feeling of shock and terror as the black cat leapt from
the bushes and went off on a long and loud tirade. The speech spanned
every inappropriate comment imaginable for something as absurd as
getting caught in a kiss. And it vexed the guardian of time to no end
as she sat and watched, because what else was there to do. Even Usagi,
her poor little princess, was speechless. Sapphire blue eyes ushering
tears and before Setsuna could stop her, and before the cat came to
her senses, the moon princess sprinted away as fast as she could.
Crimson eyes grew dark, a shade of blood red the cat had never seen
before.
"Setsuna how could you?"
"Do not ask stupid questions," was the chilled answer. "What do you
think you were doing yelling at her like that?"
"My job!"
"It is not your job to interfere with destiny."
Setsuna stood tall, and perhaps it was the color of her eyes, or the
way her voice slipped from it's normal calm into something so dark it
was hard to see, but Luna was actually afraid. Still the black cat
stood her ground.
"You're one to talk of destiny," Luna's tone was cutting. "We've seen
the future. This will only put things in jeopardy."
The ease, the icy outer exterior Setsuna wore was becoming more and
more intimidating.
"You know nothing of future, only pieces. And you build a future to
your liking based not on fact but on the dream of something that was
never meant to be."
"You and I both know Mamoru and Usagi are to be king and queen of
Crystal Tokyo," the cat stated imperiously. "And Chibiusa is their
daughter... you can't deny that. She's here!"
The guardian of time grinned a bit, her darkened demeanor never
washing. It remained stoic and still, icy to the touch. "I was not
talking of who was to be king or queen. You are right Mamoru Chiba
will become King Endymion. Usagi will be Neo Queen Serenity..."
Something like regret or sadness echoed in her tone as she finished,
"Chibiusa is their daughter."
The cat stood wide eyed, fur bristled and ready for any sudden violent
action that might be taken against her. She found courage and said,
"What you are doing truly borders on treason and you know it?"
She chuckled softly, "They said the same of Lancelot, but we are not
under the monarchy presently."
"In the past you would hav-"
"Do not speak to me of the past, cat," Setsuna sneered. "You
interfered once I won't let you do it again."
Luna's mouth hung open as she watched a single tear work it's way down
the woman's face.
"Do not look so shocked," Setsuna remarked. "The past is dead, there
is no changing it. Nothing for future is set though and I am the only
one who will ever really know how it all turns out. If you want to be
a good advisor... you will accept whatever loving relationship Usagi
enters into and you will trust that if it is a senshi she loves... You
will trust that senshi will not shirk on her duties because of it.
Now," her tone slipped into commanding. "I have to go find my love and
mend the damage you've done."
Setsuna gracefully exited leaving the black cat to marinate in her
guilt, and stew over the mistake she had made.
If I step out of line
I'll step out of line yeah
"Don't cry if crying means you're sorry."
The black cat looked up from her thoughts; tears still present and
watched Usagi slip out of the shadows.
"I thought you ran off?"
"I did," the blonde stated, heavy steps taking her to the bench she
had leapt from only moments ago. "I got just so far and ran back."
"Oh." Luna's head was downcast.
Usagi pulled no punches. Skirted no emotions as she whispered, "You
hurt me."
"I-"
"Even if you're sorry Luna. Even if you just flipped out because it
was such a shock...it doesn't lessen anything. Besides... I came back
just in time to hear the tail end of your conversation with Setsuna."
The blonde sniffed wishing she could disappear into the night sky for
a bit.
"I-"
"And treason?" Usagi cut in again, softly but still something harsh in
her tone. "You have no right to make such a claim. Well... you've been
trying to defend yourself so... go on. Tell me why you dare and don't
use the past or the future as an excuse."
There was a long stem of silence. The cat was speechless and Usagi
knew it could only mean one thing.
"So? Was it only the inconsequential then Luna. Only the fear that if
I was in love with someone other than Mamoru the whole world would
suffer the consequences? And then if it's the past...I'm afraid to
even ask what happened back then," she sighed, arms crossed over her
chest impatient for an answer.
Luna stepped a bit closer and tried to gather her excuses, but she
knew deep down she had crossed the line. "I really don't approve of
any of the senshi entering into relationships with each other Usagi,
and mostly for safety's sake. You know it can cloud judgement on the
battlefield. As for the past... I don't think you would want to know."
"If that's your best you'll have a long while before I can really
forgive you for this," Usagi said as she stood from the bench and
began to walk away. She stopped briefly to add, "The world is safe for
now Luna. Until it is in danger again you would do best to mind your
own business."
Whatever the case I always felt out of place
As a matter of fact, I always felt like that around you
The four had been just laughing it up all night at Rei's reliving old
times. Eating too much of Makoto's delicious food and drinking a few
special bottles of plum sake that Minako had brought over. With help
of the alcohol each confessing things they had never known about each
other.
"Really?" Minako nearly shrieked. "You and Mr. I-no-know-fear huh?"
Rei blushed and amended, "Look, we only dated for a week; it was no
big deal."
The bubbly senshi of love snickered and then burst into uproarious
laughter. "That's too much," the blonde finally eased into a sigh
catching her breath.
"You aren't one to talk really," Ami stated from across the room her
head resting on Makoto's shoulder. "If I recall correctly you went
with the guy who had that unnatural fetish for Sailor Venus."
Minako scowled and then whispered," Well at least I never had a crush
on an enemy."
"I heard that and again... I wouldn't talk." Ami giggled, mostly
because Makoto was lightly tickling her neck.
The light mood was halted by a knock on the door. The four girl's
sobering as Rei followed by the mysterious guardian of time walked
back into the room. They always feared random visits from Setsuna, and
the dark mood that hung about the elegant senshi of time made them
even more worrisome. The tall woman smiled sadly as she looked over
the girl's, heart breaking with the knowledge that the couples in the
room would know only happiness in their new found loves. It hurt so
much to know the future. To know that her own happiness came at a
strict price and with many problems. She swallowed the melancholy
scratching at her throat and spoke.
"Have you seen Usagi around?"
All four shook their heads at once, which made the guardian of time
feel just a bit worse.
"Is there something we should know about," Makoto asked her hand
locked with Ami's giving reassuring squeezes.
Crimson eyes softened a bit; ready to give an explanation and yet
reveal nothing of the relationship she had with Usagi. "She's a bit
upset," Setsuna relayed. "I'm hoping she'll come to you," that little
lie was like to kill her. "If she comes over... please let her know
I'm looking for her." She was never more ashamed of the masks she wore
in all her long never ending life.
"What happened exactly?" Rei asked, fire in her eyes growing at the
thought of someone or something upsetting or hurting her friend.
"If you want to know you will have to ask Luna," she spun around and
watched the cat slink into the room. Luna had easy access to all the
girls' houses more or less. The girls left an open window for her and
Artemis just in case. "Have you seen her?" the stoic woman asked
sternly.
The sleek black cat bowed her head regretfully and then nodded. "She
went to find you I think. I-"
"I don't really care right now," time's guardian cut in sharply.
"When you explain things to them," she warned, "You'd better do so
tactfully." She redirected her attention to the girls in the room
manner and tone becoming slightly more pleasant. "Forgive me for not
explaining my self... but... I-"
"You'd better hurry then. Explain later; we'll have a chat with Luna
in the meantime," Ami said softly.
So pick your way down to the sea
Pick your way to the sea yeah yeah
It's not the tide you gotta watch it's me
Not the tide you got it's me yeah yeah
And she goes yeah
When (she) goes yeah
We will go where nobody knows our names
A cold deserted shore spread out before her. She was torn between
searching for Sestuna and working out her feelings. She was afraid,
and of too much it seemed. The cool sand chilled her as she sat to
watch the dark and distant waves roll onto shore. Bright eyes fixed on
the low and sinking yellow moon. She needed a guide, wanted direction,
but there was none to be had, just the pulse of the water, and pull of
the ocean breeze tugging at her long golden locks. At that moment she
would have killed for just a bit of magical past life wisdom. She
chuckled at the thought.
"Past, present, future no matter the time I fear it always ends
badly," Usagi whispered to the starlit sky. "Dear gods is this the
part where I'm supposed to regret being who I am for the millionth
time, and beg and plead to be normal. Oh but there is no normal," she
considered. "There is no such thing... different is the way of it."
She shut her eyes smiling at her soliloquy. She focused on the empty
space of the ocean, lightless and vast. "If I learn the truth of it
all will it make anything better? Will everything be right if I know
for certain what the future is? If I remember all the past, will the
present be bearable?"
"No," a velvet voice broke in. "No, it just makes things worse. But
you're thinking as if time were so easily defined, and controlled. As
if it where solid. It's more like the ocean than you'll ever know,
things no one would ever imagine rising to the surface at the most
inopportune moments. It's never still and never will be unless I
freeze it and perish by doing so."
The blonde turned to face her wise lover with a curt smile. "Didn't
you already do that though? Freeze time? ... I think you've done it
more than once too."
An elegant smile slipped across the older woman's olive toned face.
"Yes well, sometimes the rules have to be broken for the sanctity of
the universe... or at least bent a bit."
"Funny that."
"Indeed," Setsuna cooed. She took a seat on the cool sand and looked
out across the water. "But you know I'm not the only one who breaks
the rules... a certain someone always sees fit to bring me back to
life despite my sins."
Usagi huffed playfully, "I'm sure she only does it because you'd be
too hard to replace."
"Oh that must be it," the guardian of time agreed, flecks of sarcasm
inching into her tone and then retreating as she continued. "Are you
alright?"
"No." The honesty stung both with unexpected harshness. "How do we
keep things from devouring us? I mean as much as you love me...
There's always this look you have, like everything for us will come to
a crashing halt. Like both of us end up with broken hearts and souls
in the end."
It sobered the senshi of time to no end hearing those comments, and
her love was right. But she could not fight the dread she felt at
times. Lonely eyes locked on blue a soft a cool tone pleading to sound
convincingly happy, "I don't always..." She stopped herself, let a
mask or two slip remembering there was nothing she had to keep from
Usagi. "Part of me is always lost in time love. Abandoned and lonely
left to guard the gates. It is hard to shake the visions, the things
I've seen. The things that are coming that I can not share with
anyone... not even you."
"I could order you to tell me what you saw that makes you think you or
even I gets hurt by this."
"You could," Setsuna whispered. "Are you?"
Usagi sighed. "No. No I'm not. But it leaves us with very little to
hope for... and I don't want to spend my time with you fearing the day
when it all goes wrong. When everything breaks and we both end up in
tears... I don't need that... and neither do you."
I'm disinclined to tow the line
Under your thumb where I've become unwanted
"We don't break up," Setsuna muttered as she set her gaze to sky.
Light breaking distantly, cutting the black, into strips of deep
violet, dark blues, washes of a distant red-orange.
"What?"
"We don't," Setsuna offered sadly.
"But..."
"Only your political marriage will cause waves, and no matter the time
it always stings." She choked down her tears. "Always..."
"I-"
"Don't make that promise Usa," Setsuna interrupted. "When the time
comes you'll have to break it and that'll hurt more..." She sighed;
she had broken the rules again.
"Doesn't telling me give a chance that things will change?"
"Maybe... does it matter... I can't keeping breaking the rules for
you."
"Then don't."
"What?"
"Listen to me, don't break the rules. Don't tell me."
"It's a bit late for that, don't you think?"
"No." The blonde inched closer. "No it's never too late. Create a new
rule." Usagi offered. "You can ask the gates, order time not to let
you know certain things."
The guardian of time thought over suggestion. "I think sometimes you
are far too wise, or far too naive... much like your mother."
The blonde blushed, which was increasingly more visible as the sun
began to sneak upon them.
Setsuna still looked grave though. "And what about Luna? I'm just
curious as to how you would like to handle that, and the girls-"
A pale finger quieted plush lips. "Do you love me?"
"Yes."
"Then let it alone," Usagi whispered. "Let it alone and we'll take it
on as comes along. No more secret romance...Let the world shout what
it may. I'm tired of caring." She kissed the older woman's cheek
quickly. "You see the sun rising, and light building... it's a new
day. Morning..." She graced the slender neck of her love with a soft
peck. "And I want to spend it with you... and the evening too... and
the next day and the next...until we're both old and gray dear."
With that last word she took the older woman's lips with her own.
Playful and kind pulling for something more, but denied as her love
pulled away for a moment.
"What's wrong," Usagi asked, a bit out of breath.
"The girls," Setsuna muttered. "They'll worry."
"They'll get the hint when we show up later," Usagi whispered impish
smile set on her face.
"How will the-"
The guardian of time was silenced again. Lost to the thrill of her
heart as the future, the past all became a hazy and brief blur. She
was still afraid of what was to come, but it was nothing that could
not be easily quelled. She let herself go, wrapped in a place that
belonged just her and Usagi. Where no one knew their names and no one
cared. Only the increasing warmth of the sun, the feel of kiss, the
whisper of passion, the roll of the waves left to remind of the waking
world.
End...
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