Cupid, You Sonofagun
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!" a Cupid-like youma cackled evilly.
"Son-of-a--" Sailor Jupiter's curse was cut short as she dodged another
volley of heart-tipped arrows.
"Crap," The Thunder Senshi cursed as she limped away. "Ami!" she shouted
at the Water Senshi that was clinging to her leg like a monkey. "Do you
KNOW how hard it is to dodge with one leg!?!?" The blunette had
apparently ignored her in favor of rubbing her cheek against the chef's
leg. "Mako-chan!" the genius gushed happily.
"LET GO!"
"STOP TESTING OUR LOVE!" Sailor Mercury wailed.
"WHAT LOVE!?!?" Sailor Jupiter fumed. "We've only been dating for a
WEEK!"
Sailor Mercury blinked once, then continued to rub her cheek against
Jupiter's leg. "For the love of Pete!" Jupiter growled.
"You think YOU'VE got it bad?" a voice said dryly. Sailor Jupiter turned
to see Sailor Venus, caught in the embrace of a bubbly Sailor Pluto.
"Oh Minako-channnnn!" the Time Senshi purred as she rubbed her cheek on
the top of Sailor Venus' head. "I wuv you!"
Sailor Venus' eyebrow twitched as the overly-affectionate woman kissed
her cheek, cooeing in baby-talk. "I think I liked her better when she
was cold and distant." The Love Senshi monotoned.
Sailor Pluto took this as a sign of affection and squealed happily. "Oh
Minako-chan!" she giggled. She then grabbed the blonde and kissed her
smack-dab on the lips.
"Never-mind." Sailor Venus thickly, a goofy grin on her face as Sailor
Pluto wrapped her in another embrace. "I like this Setsuna lots better."
"That's, 'much better' not 'lots better' Minako-chan." Sailor Mercury
scolded.
Sailor Venus shrugged. "Whatever."
"Gah!" Sailor Moon shrieked as she ran away from the waves of evil love
arrows. "Someone help!" Sailor Mars sprinted to the moon hime's side,
swooping the blonde in her arms bridle-style as she leaped onto a nearby
branch. "You okay?" the Fire Senshi asked the blonde in her arms.
Blushing, Sailor Moon nodded shyly as she wrapped her arms around Sailor
Mars' neck.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" The Cupid-youma cackled. "YOU SHALL NEVER DEFEAT
LOVE!"
"Hey!" Sailor Moon cried, offended. "We're SOLIDERS for love and
justice! Shouldn't you be on OUR side or something"
Cupid-youma blinked. "Oh. You guys are...Love Soliders?"
Sailor Mars leaped from the branch and set Sailor Moon down onto her
feet. "That's about right." the fire maiden said as she rubbed her
shoulder blades. "Jeez Odango-atama," she complained to Sailor Moon.
"You need to lose some weight."
"WHY YOU LITTLE-" Sailor Moon's rant was cut short as a Love Arrow hit
her chest. She gasped in pain and feel into a worried Sailor Mars' arms.
"Usagi-chan!" Sailor Mars cried, holding the still form of her friend.
"Usagi! USAGI!" Sailor Moon's eyes fluttered open.
Sailor Mars sighed in relief as she helped a shaky Sailor Moon to her
feet. "Are you o-why are you looking at me like that"
Sailor Moon was staring at her with half-lidded eyes, grinning impishly.
"Usagi?" Sailor Mars asked timidly. "What's--?" She was cut off as
Sailor Moon suddenly pulled her into a kiss.
"MFF!?!?!" Sailor Mars waved her arms wildly in the air as she struggled
to get away from the blonde. She grabbed Sailor Moon's shoulders and,
with great difficulty, pulled the blonde off of her. She gasped in a few
mouthfuls of air.
"U-Usagi!" she sputtered. "W-What the hell?!?! Why are you-"
"I love you, I don't care about Mamoru, Seiya's only a friend, and screw
Cystal Tokyo." The moon hime responded simply.
Sailor Mars blinked. "Okay, but what about Chibi-" She was cut off once
again by Sailor Moon whipping out the Disguise Pen.
"Will this work?" Sailor Moon said coyly.
Sailor Mars blinked once, twice, before she shrugged. "Well," she began.
"There goes all the reason's for me to say 'no"
She opened her arms. "Come to mama!" she yelled, grinning.
Sailor Moon squealed and eagerly jumped into the Fire Senshi's arms,
knocking both of them into a nearby bush.
Cupid-youma stared at the bush, then at the still quivering bow-string.
"Oops." he murmured. Sailor Jupiter limped toward him.
"Can you get her off?" she asked dryly, pointing to the giggling Sailor
Mercury that clung to her leg. "Oh." Cupid-youma took out a Love-Arrow
from his quiver, then poked Sailor Mercury with the tip. The blunette
blinked many times, shaking her head. "Makoto," she murmured, "what
hap-" she looked up, only to see underneath Sailor Jupiter's skirt.
"Oh my," she whispered as she blushed hotly. Then, with no warning, the
blunette fainted.
Cupid-youma walked over to Sailor Venus and Pluto. "No, I wuv YOU!" The
blonde cooed in baby-talk.
"No I wuv YOU!" The green-haired Senshi cooed back, pinching the Love
Senshi's cheeks.
"Oh now THAT is just sick." Cupid-youma growled. He jabbed the Time
Senshi's arm with the Love Arrow's tip. Sailor Pluto blinked and shook
her head wildly. She looked at Sailor Venus, then at her hands which
were pinching the Love Senshi's cheeks.
She turned questioning red orbs to Sailor Venus' innocent blue ones. The
blonde smiled (albeit with difficulty) and said timidly, "I wuv you?"
Sailor Pluto shrugged and cooed, "And I wuv YOU Minako-koi!" She began
to coo uninteligible sounds, Sailor Venus giggling all the while.
"You people sicken me." Cupid-youma growled. He then turned to the bush.
As he approached, Cupid-youma became aware of the...HAPPY noises which
were coming from the quivering bush. Cupid-youma stopped dead and
blushed hotly.
"Maybe you should leave them alone for a little bit..." Sailor Jupiter
advised, blushing as well.
"Yeah..."
Cupid-youma turned to face the rest of the Senshi. "Weeeellllll you
guys," he began, "It's been fun, but now I gotta-"
Then, quite suddenly, a pink bra landed on his head, covering his eyes.
"...That's not what I think it is, is it?"
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