>I can imagine the moment Breaking out through the silence All the things that we both might say And the heart it will not be denied 'Til we're both on the same damn side All the barriers blown away < Peter Gabriel Author's note: This is a story about Haruka and Michiru . The time isn't important. Haruka and Michiru know each other for over two years and they got to know Sailor Moon and her team. They are still looking after the talismans, but this time it is not as busy as in the anime. Haruka and Michiru are in love with each other but neither of them dare to talk to each other. For all those people who know Japan or are even living in it: I am sorry. I don't know if Japan has such mountains as I describe them in this story. If not, please forgive me. The actual meaning of the song "Come talk to me" is another one, but I think the lines are suitable. I love this song very much and I think everyone knows how hard it is to talk about personal feelings. It's never been easy to talk about love. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- prologue: dancing dolphins Bright sunlight burned from a cloudless sky at the world beneath. Busy cars forced their way through the big streets that divided the big city. They lurched like snakes between the huge sky scrapers. Steam and fog laid over the hot asphalt. Outside the city the noise died slightly away and green trees and wide meadows covered the ground. Small houses could be seen overall between the high trees. They seemed to fit into this picture of nature next to the industrial giant. The rushes of the near ocean could be heard as well as the sweet singing of the birds all around. Lots of people walked through the huge park at the outer ring of Tokyo. They enjoyed the nice weather, their free time or simply their pension. Young people walked next to old ones. The isolation of the big city didn't exist here anymore. People were greeting each other although they didn't actually know why. Children played at the playground or seek and hide between the bushes. Loving mothers watched them happy. Some dogs barked and followed existed tiny sticks. Couples passed the sandy ways holding their hands. Bright sunlight burned from an cloudless sky through the window of a small shop in the middle of the park. There mostly souvenirs were sold. Souvenirs for the tourists that visited Tokyo each day. Souvenirs... And if you opened you eyes and looked around quite well you could find treasures between tiny copies of the Tokyo Tower or cheap pictures of the great ocean that started behind the green oasis as the people called it. Two ear rings sparkled in the hand of a young woman. She took off her sun glasses and her deep green eyes watched the diamonds thoughtfully. Sparkling jewels formed the eyes of jumping dolphins. The silver skin of the animals shimmered blue and remembered the young woman of the endless sea. And of two blue eyes she loved so much... "They are very cute, aren't they?" The shop assistant, a young woman of almost twenty years, appeared next to her and looked over her shoulder. Then she looked around in the small shop and wrinkled her front. "I didn't realize that we have such ear rings." She ran a steady hand through her long red hair. That happened often. The small shop was so inoverwieving that people often found things she didn't even know they were there. The young woman took a deep breathe then she looked up. "I'll take them." She declared in a low voice and went over to the counter with the shop assistant. "Shall I wrap them up?" As the young woman just nodded fought the young shop assistant with the paper. It was too big but she had no scissors. So she talked to cover her awkwardness. "Are you from here? Or are you a tourist?" she asked politely and rolled her eyes as she heard the crash of the door when her younger sister entered the small shop. "Hey, Yako. How do you do?" Another girl with red but short hair went over to the counter and grinned at the young woman. Her eyes went over the long blue jeans and the wide black shirt the customer was wearing. She piped appreciative. "If I had known that you would have such nice guys in you shop I..." "Go to university and study!" declared the other sister and finally won the battle with the big paper. "It's too hot for learning! By the way what does he buy?" asked the smaller sister curiously and grinned again at the young woman who smiled back and took her sun glasses into her right hand. "Ear rings. Dolphins with diamonds." "O, I didn't realize that we have such ear rings. That we have ear rings at all." "Me neither. But granny does the buying so I doesn't wonder about anything." "Our loving granny... I am hungry. Don't you think it's time for dinner?" The pleading expression of the smaller sister's face was so funny that the young woman giggled. "Here you are." The shop assistant gave the small box to the customer and sighed. "Why don't you just go and cook something for yourself? You're old enough!" she scolded but her little sister didn't even listen to her. She just followed the young woman. "Do you have any appointments this evening?" She asked and didn't even blush to talk to strange men in such an open way. "Asuka!" The young woman took her sun glasses on. The smile on her face froze. Then she left the shop and went away. "Asuka! You're crazy!" could she hear the older sister scolding while she walked along the sandy way looking up to the cloudless sky. "Yako!" "Don't you think that he's already a nice girlfriend? What do you think for whom were these wonderful ear rings?" "O, then his girlfriend is lucky. She must be something special." The voices died away as she walked deeper into the park. Something special... The young woman thought at shinning blue eyes, at long sea green hairs that felt velvet and at a smiling face that always seemed so understanding. At two small hands that could play the violin in a tender way that touched her heart each time she heard the soft melodies. Something special. "Hai..." Michiru is indeed something special. Haruka sighed slightly and risk a look down her watch and knew that she was too late. The others already waited for her. She should hurry up. *** The girl sat on the bank. The wind was playing with her short blue hair and the white skirt she was wearing. Birds sung and the leaves of the trees around rushed. But she didn't even mention it. All she saw was the thick book she hold in her hands. Her blue eyes behind glasses shimmered as they followed endless lines of written words. "He! What are you doing here so alone?" A man sat down next to her and grabbed her shoulder. The girl looked up very puzzled and the book fell upon the sandy ground. "Leave me in peace!" she demanded and wanted to pick up her book as he hold her back. "You remember me of my former girlfriend." He said and she could smell the alcohol. "Are you as good as she was?" The man asked and came nearer. "Get off me!" demanded the girl. This time her voice was louder. And a little bit more frightened, too. "Hey, small one! Don't be so shy. I know you want it, too." He smiled and she could see a bad expression on his face. His hands hurt more and more upon her shoulders and she wasn't strong enough to escape. "No..." she winced as he tried to force her to give him a kiss. "NO!!!" She screamed and hold up her hands protectively in front of her head. He just slapped them away and hit her in her face. "No..." she stammered and suddenly tears were running down her burning cheeks. The glasses landed in the grass and it cracked as the glass sprung. "Yes!" declared the young man and grinned satisfied as he felt that she was too weak to defend herself seriously enough. "She said >noYou lesbian!< Haruka hold her hands up to her ears but she couldn't stop the rude voice inside her head. It followed her the whole evening. Again she saw that hateful look of the fat man at the parking space as she hold the soft hands of her Michiru. Again she saw the disappointment in the young musician's face as she didn't want to talk about her problems. Michiru would never understand. Would she? She's always so understanding. She accepts my passion to fast cars. She isn't affected about my male behaviour. She never loses a word about my messing room. Or about my terrible cooking. She just listens to my problems and tries to solve them. Haruka sighed and laid back in the sand. Her eyes shone treacherously as she looked up at the sky that was covered with thousands of stars. "Hai, Michi-chan is very understanding..." whispered the young car racer and swallowed hard. Then she covered her face with her cold hands. But she's surely not so understanding to accept that I love her... For almost an hour Haruka laid there. Motionless. In silence. She thought at the young violinist who declared her that she was Sailor Uranus. That her destiny would be the search of the talismans and the saving of the world. She remembered Michiru inviting her to live in her huge house that was too big for one person. For the first time in her life Haruka got her own room. She got new clothes and the car keys of the wonderful silver Ferrari. She got the chance to start a career as a car racer. And she got the possibility to talk to a friendly young woman who listened to her. Who comforted her after she talked about her sad childhood for the first time after her parents died. For the first time in her whole life. And surely for the last time. Michiru gave her so much... I got a friend. My best friend. My only friend... Michiru gave her so much. It wasn't fair of Haruka to thank her by telling her about her strange feelings. About her love to her. Haruka sighed and stood up quietly. She didn't want to lose Michiru because of these feelings. And she didn't want Michiru to be treated the rude way she was by other people. By other people who recognized that she wasn't a man although she looked and behaved like one. She's my only ray of light in this dark world. Slowly Haruka went back to her motorbike and sat up. What should I do without her? The young car racer turned her motorbike and speeded up. It was a question she couldn't answer. Because all answers she found were too sad. *** It was about five o'clock in the morning. It was almost dawn. The horizon already wore the colours of light blue and the ocean started to glimmer. Haruka woke up and laid silently in her bed while she tried to calm down her body. Sweat covered her face and she run a steady hand though her short and wet blonde hair. Her yellow pyjama felt also wet and she wanted to take a shower as always when she tried to ignore her nightmares. She reached over to the table that stood next to the bed and switched on the light. For a long time she stared at the framed picture she found on her pillow as she returned home late at night. It showed herself who sat on a tiny wooden pony on the playground. Michiru sat behind her and had wrapped her arms around her waist. She looked over her shoulder and laughed happily into the camera. We both are laughing... They went to the playground with Usagi and the others about a months ago. It was a nice day and they had a lot of fun. The outer senshi almost forgot their dangerous mission and in a moment of happiness Rei took that picture. Haruka couldn't take her look from the lucky shinning face of her Michi-chan. Why does she give it to me? She didn't find an answer on this question, too. At that moment she heard the soft voice of the violin that filled the cool air of the night. The melody was very sad and full of despair. It didn't stop at the end of the song. It just settled into a next one until it changed into a imaged melody. Heavy notes in a strange order. Haruka stood up and went upstairs to the room where the moaning melody was born. Quietly she opened the door and could see Michiru on the balcony. She stood in the corner. Her face was turned towards the endless ocean but the young car racer knew that her eyes were shut. "Michi-chan?" she whispered as she entered the balcony. The melody broke and left a bitter sweet aftertaste. The young musician spun around and Haruka could see the sparkling tears that fell down her pale cheeks. Michiru put carefully her instrument down on the wide handrail and slowly walked over to the young car racer. Without saying a word she wrapped her arms around Haruka's neck and pulled her hot face against the young woman's shoulder. Haruka didn't react at the first seconds. Then she heard the oppressed sobs of the smaller senshi. And she felt the shaking that went through the slim body. She's too slim. The young car racer took her small musician into her arms and rocked her gently. She has too many problems. "You had this nightmare, too?" she asked quietly and felt how Michiru nodded against her shoulder. Silently she sighed and looked down at the trembling young woman in her strong arms. Carefully she stroke the velvet hairs while the other one cried. Tears shimmered also in Haruka eyes, but she fought them back successfully. She didn't want Michiru to see her cry. She didn't want her Michi-chan to be more concerned than she already was. One of them had to have the strength to show that life carried on. It always did. Haruka knew it too well... We have too many problems... "Our enemies found a new victim. We should be there to see if they're lucky. If this victim owns a talisman in his heart." Whispered Haruka and could feel how Michiru's arms squeezed her harder. As if she was the only life line in the dark life of the talented musician. "Ruka..." answered Michiru in a strange voice and coughed. "I don't know if I am able to..." Again a shaking went through her body and more tears fell. "I don't know it either, Michi-chan. But it's our mission as you know. Otherwise the whole world is going to end. All people will die if we don't prevent the messiah of silence to be born." "But one life for six million lives..." cried Michiru and rose her head to look straight into Haruka's also pale face. She could see the determined expression on the young car racer's face and knew what she would say next. It were the same words she always said in such a discussion. "It's our destiny to full fill this mission. We aren't asked if we're able to..." Haruka swallowed hard and turned her head to look out to the endless ocean. The steady rushes of the sea seemed to call her down. External. "... to kill anyone. And no one asked if it's fair enough to sacrifice one person for the rest of the world. Well, at last it's not fair for this single person. But the rest of the people will survive. Usagi and her friends will survive. Although someone else has to die for this peace." "That's no peace!" said Michiru in a suddenly icy voice. Haruka looked at her pale face again and could see the angry expression in it. She never argued after these unchangeable words before. "Just think of the family of this person. Of her parents. Of her children. Of her lover..." Deep despair shone in the tears that slowed down. Wind ran through the long sea green hairs and Haruka felt how Michiru pulled her nearer to hold her tight. "It's better for us not to think about it." Declared Haruka and her voice sounded insensible. But both of them knew that she wasn't. "But..." "It's our mission and we have to full fill it. The destiny of the world depends on us. We can't let this tragedy happen." Haruka wanted to return into the bedroom but Michiru hold her tighter. She didn't want her car racer to let go. And Haruka knew that she didn't want to leave her young violinist either. They needed each other. Without the other one they would never have come so far. Living. "Besides it doesn't mean..." "But I would never sacrifice one person for this bloody world if that person was you!" The scream interrupted the words of the taller woman. Green eyes grew wide and stared in disbelieve in desperate blue ones. How did she meant it? Please, don't leave me! For some moments they stood their in silence just watching each other. None of them dared to say a word. None of them knew what to say best. Finally Michiru lowered her head and leaned it against Haruka's chest. She could feel her breasts through the yellow pyjama the young car racer wore instead of night dresses. Michiru actually never seen the senshi of the wind in a dress. Haruka hated the costume she had to wear as Sailor Uranus and she would never voluntarily wear anything else than her blue jeans and her wide shirts. But it didn't matter to Michiru. She liked her tomboy and it was alike what she wore. "Hey, you know only a person with a pure heart owns a talisman. So you can't sacrifice me." Joked Haruka after a while and was very glad that it was too dark outside. Otherwise Michiru would have seen that the cool car racer blushed deeply. She let off Michiru and went into the bedroom. "Better I'll care for the tickets that we're at the party before our enemies arrive there." She said and opened the door as she heard the quiet voice behind her. "R... Ruka?" Haruka slowly turned her head and could see Michiru who stood next to the huge bed. She had protectively wrapped her arms around her slim chest. The blue night shirt she wore moved in the wind that blew through the open balcony door. Her hair fell over her shoulders and shadows hide her face. Obstinately she stared at the carpet down below. She looks so fragile... "Hai?" "Please..." Michiru swallowed hard and didn't look up. "Please stay for the rest of the night. I... I don't want to be alone after this horrible... nightmare..." The young violinist sighed and shook slightly her head. It was too much she asked from the independent car racer. She knew it. Thoughtless she winced as she heard how the door closed. I am silly that I asked. Again Michiru sighed and suddenly froze in her thin night shirt. She knew that it was alike how much blankets she would use. The next hours until she had to get up she would freeze like hell. She shut her eyes and just stood there motionless. She didn't want to think about the next day. Maybe they would find one of the talismans. Maybe they would be forced to kill... No I am not silly. I am jut so tired of this all. Michiru's eyes flew open as she felt the soft blanket that suddenly covered her trembling body. She rose her head and looked straight into two green eyes. An expression laid on Haruka's face she'd never seen before. She couldn't explain. She couldn't define. But she wasn't scared about it. Oppositely she felt safe and secure as Haruka pulled her down on the soft bed and laid down next to her. Wordlessly she took one of Michiru's cold hands in her warm one and held it tight. "Are you cold?" asked the young car racer after a while they just laid in silence and listened to the steady waves of the near ocean. "No, not anymore. Thanks." Michiru shut her eyes and concentrated on the tender touch. Everything seemed to be less important as she settled into sleep. Yes, here she felt free. With her Ruka next to her. No one could harm her as long as she wasn't alone. No, I am not alone. A smile appeared on Michiru's pale face as she entered the dream world and left all her problems behind. Haruka squeezed the small hand gentle and looked down at the senshi of the endless ocean. She didn't want to see her Michi-chan cry. She wanted to see her happy. To see her laughing the whole day. But she knew she wouldn't. Not as long as their mission lasted. And afterwards? Haruka sighed slightly and laid her head back on the soft pillow. I want to love her. But she deserves a better life. She shouldn't be called bad words by old intolerant men. She should bee free and not be bound at a sick person like me. Haruka silently watched the ceiling while the sun set. The room got brighter with every minute. Michiru next to her slept deep and tight. No more nightmares disturbed her dreams. I don't want her to be called a lesbian. The car racer didn't find any sleep the rest of the night.
Back to Break the Silence Index - Back to Sailor Moon Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction