Author's Note: Hello! This is a short, sweet story. Anyway, read on, and
tell me what you think!
*stars mean thought*
***********
The needles clinked together in an agitated way as Minako Aino sat in
her room, weaving pink and orange wool threads in and out, between,
around one another. But her mind was not on her knitting, as much as she
tried to focus it there. It roamed the vast caverns of destiny, lurking
in the shadows of forbidden longing.
How much longer could she stand the pain? Every day her heart died a
little more, each time a man would glance her way. It was always the
same; they looked at her as if she were prey, a prime cut of meat to be
devoured and thrown out after its use. No one...no one saw her. Why
couldn't they hear her screaming? Why couldn't they feel her pain? No
man, or woman for that matter, ever even thought of looking past the
mask of shallow happiness she wore.
Not even the senshi saw what lay below the surface. They saw Minako as a
shallow, boy crazy, idol-chasing blond. Sure, she enjoyed those things.
But did they know about the poetry she wrote in her diary? Of the nights
spent weeping over pages of confession, of pain, of heartache. Did they
know of the hours she spent staring at the moon, praying for release
from a love she could not control, a love she prayed to forget.
Minako despised the future, despised destiny, despised her duty,
despised herself. And yet...she knew she could not run from it or ignore
it. But neither could she submit to it. Minako sighed, her needles
slowing. She didn't really have a choice, did she? The future was
predicted and all would be as was destined. As a senshi, she could not
submit to weakness. Not even if that weakness was her own heart.
Especially not to her damned heart.
Her hands slowed until they stopped, and Minako blinked as she saw what
she had woven as she mulled her life around in her mind. Pink and orange
strands wove around themselves, and in their weaving dance a crescent
moon lingered, it's silhouette barely noticeable. Pain snagged in her
heart, and Minako set the fabric on the bed beside her.
Damn it. Would she never find release? It was torture; like being
chained to a wall just out of reach of a succulent apple. Always SHE was
there, always nagging at the edges of the golden senshi's thoughts. But
no, to even think of it was wrong. It would only cause her more pain,
more troubled nights, more lonely walks at midnight where she would
always end up in the same spot, staring up at the house of her princess.
A long sigh escaped her lips, the sound of a weary soul. For so long she
had fought it. Denied what her heart was screaming at her. She knew the
blood of the Goddess of Love flowed in her veins. She was, after all,
the goddess's incarnation and the last Venusian to use their natural
charms to court a man. All she had to do was smile and point at her
feet, and any man that met her eyes would fall to the ground and kiss
her perfect toes.
Why, then, did she not? She had always told anyone who asked that it was
because she wanted a man to love her for who she was, not because of the
power she could hold over them. But in her heart she knew. She wanted no
man, nor any woman. There was only one person for whom Minako's heart
beat. One person she dreamed of at night. One unreachable idol, standing
so strong and elegant with those hypnotizing sapphire eyes that held the
loves and pains of countless lifetimes and long hair like silken
sunlight cascading down her back in a waterfall of glory.
Minako held her head in her hands, her eyes clamped tightly shut. Why
did it have to be her? Of all people, it had to be the one person that
the golden senshi could never have. She hadn't been like this before,
not until she remembered her past. Not until she remembered her
princess, until she met the princess's ditzy, beautiful incarnation. The
feelings came so suddenly, like a tidal wave washing over her and
carrying her out to the sea.
The heart didn't care who it chose, if that person was free or not, was
male or female, was the future ruler of the world or a nobody. It chose
whom it wanted, and no form of conviction could waver its decision. No
matter how much she might try, no matter how many tears she cried, no
matter how many men she kissed. Always her; it always came back to her.
She kissed a man and it was not him she saw, not him whose lips she
kissed. Always, it was hers. It was her she called for in the night when
nightmares would terrorize her dreams.
Her princess. Tears burned behind Minako's eyes, but she swallowed them
back; what good would crying do? Destiny made her choose him, fate
shielding them in a cocoon of certainty of their future. And Minako was
fate's servant, forever submitting to it's cruel but unarguable rule.
She was the leader of the Senshi of the Inner Planetary Solar System,
and must adhere to destiny. Even if that destiny gnawed at her heart
each time she saw them together, each time she watched them kiss, each
time her princess ranted on and on about her prince.
No matter what, she would never leave her princess. Not only because of
her duty, but because she refused to leave her. If she could not hold
her, she could at least protect her and be her friend. Minako sighed and
stood up, pulling on her shoes.
She couldn't stay here; it was the same every night. She couldn't stay
at home, alone with her thoughts. So every night she left and walked.
She never knew exactly where to, but she always ended up standing in
front of Usagi's house and looking up at the princess's window. Looking
up and wondering what the girl was dreaming, yet knowing that it was of
Mamoru she dreamt.
"You're leaving again." Minako turned around, frowning as she saw
Artemis standing in front of the door, his feline face full of
disapproval. He leapt up on the bed and looked down at her knitting.
"Why Minako?" He asked, softly sighing as he looked up at her.
"Because, Artemis, I love her. I can't stop thinking about her, and I
try so hard to forget...." Her voice trailed away and Minako grabbed her
jacket, throwing open the window. She didn't look back at him as she
spoke again, her voice dark and sad. "Don't come after me this time,
Artemis. I am a senshi and as a senshi, I will do nothing to harm the
future that is destined to come. That's the whole problem." And she
leapt out the window, passing under the streetlight as she disappeared
into the night.
Artemis glanced over to her nightstand and saw her diary lying open to a
page containing a single poem. He read the poem and hung his head,
leaping off the bed and slinking out of the room. There was nothing he
could do to ease her suffering, and nothing he could do to save her
heart. Watching her struggle with her emotions, hearing her cry at
night, was like watching his own kitten in pain. And, like a father
would, he wanted so badly to take that pain away from her. But no one
could do that for her. It was a battle she had to wage alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{~~@
"Mmm...Mamoru...." Usagi giggled in her sleep, drool siding down her
chin. Mamoru, her handsome Prince Endymion; he was always by her side,
always just a breath away. As Usagi's lips brushed his, though, black
clouds began to roll in above them. Thunder growled, lightning struck
out like a whip. Mamoru let her go and turned away from her, running
away from the storm, leaving her alone to face it.
"Mamoru! Come back! Please help me!" Outside her dream, Usagi groaned
and tossed in her sleep, incoherently mumbling as she trembled. The
lightning struck Usagi's shoulder, throwing her backwards. She hit the
ground with a startled asp, crying for Mamoru once more. But he didn't
come back, oh gods, he wasn't coming back! The lightning flashed,
soaring towards her like a sword. Usagi clamped her eyes tightly shut,
curling herself into a ball.
"Princess Serenity!" Someone called out to her, and the lightning didn't
hit. Usagi's eyes opened and she looked up at her savior, expecting to
see Mamoru standing above her. But it wasn't him, it was...Venus? Sailor
Venus stood above Sailor Moon, clutching her breast.
"Venus!" Usagi gasped as the woman collapsed beside her. The senshi's
uniform was burnt and stained with blood that flowed from a hole in her
breast where the lightning struck. "Oh gods, Minako! Why did you do
that? Why?" Minako's face was contorted in pain, but she managed a last
beaming smile.
"Because..." she placed a gloved hand on Usagi's cheek, her eyes closing
as she breathed her last words. "I'll never let anything hurt you, my
Usa...."
"MINAKO!" Usagi screamed, her eyes snapping open. Her body was
trembling, her nightgown covered in cold sweat. Usagi frowned, scrubbing
her eyes. *That was a strange dream,* she thought throwing the blankets
off and sliding out of her bed. Why had she dreamed of Minako, and why
had her friend said 'my Usa'? Oh well, she would think about it in the
morning, when she had some sugar in her system.
With a tired yawn, Usagi trudged to the window and opened it, breathing
deeply the cool night air as she leaned out. The moon's light bathed the
evening in a romantic silvery haze and long shadows. Usagi couldn't help
but sigh and smile; it was times like this when she felt peaceful and
happy, like nothing in the world could be wrong.
As Usagi pulled away from the window a movement in the shadows caught
her eye. She reached up and touched the broach on her gown, peering at
the figure strolling towards her house. "Who the hell...?" The figure
emerged from the shadows and turned her face up to Usagi's window.
Minako? Why was she walking around at midnight? She must be in trouble.
With that thought, Usagi dashed from her room, being careful not wake
her parents as she ran to the door. Minako's eyes widened when Usagi
opened the door, and she took a step backwards, as if thinking about
running.
"Minako?" Usagi called out, softly, closing the door behind her. Minako
took another step backwards, her eyes transfixed on Usagi as if looking
at some great evil. Or was it more a look of shock? Usagi looked closer
at the goddess, noting the missing bow in her hair and the bags under
her blood-shot eyes. "Mina-chan, what's wrong?" She cooed, walking the
length of the sidewalk to close the gap between them.
"Hi, Usagi! Nothing's wrong, just taking a walk." The goddess's voice
trembled; Minako was always a terrible liar. Usagi frowned and placed a
hand on Minako's slender shoulder. The girl was shaking like a leaf!
"Gods, what happened to you Mina?" Usagi breathed. "You're trembling and
you're freezing cold." Minako's breathing was uneven, her eyes wild as
they darted around, looking for an escape, but none was to be found.
Silently cursing her subconscious for bringing her here again, the
girl's shoulders slumped and she looked into the concerned gaze of her
princess, those sapphire eyes that pierced her soul and warmed her
heart. She breathed a sigh and her hands fell lightly on Usagi's waist.
Her heart pounded, aching to hold the princess close and bare her soul,
and Minako closed her eyes for a moment, breathing deeply.
She opened her eyes again and gave Usagi a forced smile. "I'm all right,
Usa, honestly." Her voice was soft and sad, her eyes boring into the
princess with a frightening intensity. "The pains of a troubled heart
cannot be healed easily and often keep one such as me awake for many
long, sad hours." Minako's azure eyes held a deep sadness, one that
struck the princess as odd on the normally perky goddess's face. Minako
turned away, closing her eyes and letting her hands drop from Usagi's
waist.
"Who hurt you so much, Mina?" Usagi asked, tears in her voice for her
friend's pain. Minako couldn't help but smile at the irony of it. The
person who was the cause of her pain and the object of her desire asking
her who broke her heart. What was she to say? Both actions and words
seemed to fail her, wanting to make known that which must never be
voiced. She supposed there was only one thing she could say. One thing
that would satisfy both Usagi and herself.
The goddess kept her eyes closed as she spoke, her quiet words barely
audible in the silent night.
"The heart is a fickle thing,
skipping from one love to the next
without blinking an eye.
A tear or two fall on my cheeks
in the company of myself,
where no one can see my pain.
Where no one can mock me,
and see my true weakness."
Usagi frowned, reaching out and touching Minako's arm. The girl was
tense; her arm felt like stone under Usagi's palm. Minako shuddered at
the princess's touch and opened her eyes. She didn't dare look at the
angelic face gazing at her in confused concern, and instead held up her
hands to look at her palms.
"Crimson blood stains my hands
from the lives I have taken
in the name of justice and destiny.
I cannot bare my soul,
for the ones I can love,
love fully, unhindered, with complete trust,
are all dead at my hands.
Such is the cruelty of fate."
Now she looked at Usagi, and in her eyes tears sparkled but did not
fall. Usagi felt a lump form in her throat, her heart aching for
Minako's loss. She may not know how the golden senshi felt, but she
could see the pain etched on the girl's face. She knew to whom Minako
was eluding.
"But the heart shall always
choose a love to be its only."
Minako took a step closer to Usagi, the girl's golden hair mingling with
the princess's sunshine locks. Usagi's eyes widened as Minako placed her
hands on her shoulders, slowly caressing her arms as she spoke, her
words a mere whisper.
"Such is its nature.
It knows no logic,
no sense of whom to love and
whom to leave be.
So, if it might choose wrong
our attempts to change it
come to naught but stronger love."
What was she saying? Why was Sailor Venus looking at her that way, and
why was Usagi's heart pounding? Why did she feel as if she wanted to
touch the goddess, to hold her? Questions filled Usagi's mind, her
breath quickening. Minako looked away from Usagi's eyes, taking the
princess's delicate hand in both of hers and curling it into a fist. She
held Usagi's fist in her hands, looking at it with great concentration.
"Fate, dearest princess, is my master.
The bonds of love are my chains."
Usagi felt Minako's hands grow hot, and her own palm grew warm. Minako
turned her eyes to the wide, confused ones of her princess and brought
the fist to her breast, pressing it against her heart.
"My bleeding heart lay in your hands,
and all I can do is weep.
I curse the cosmos from which I was created
for this cursed love they have bestowed me
and submit to my unwanted destiny."
Minako let go of Usagi's hand and back away from the princess, into the
shadows. Usagi held the hot fist close to her breast, feeling a pulse of
energy in her palm, like the beating of a heart.
"I fade into the shadows,
welcoming blissful nothingness,
and always, you shall possess
my heart,
my body,
and my soul.
All that I am is yours."
Her voice became more and more distant as Minako faded into the shadows,
and then she was gone. Usagi frantically looked around for the golden
senshi, but she was nowhere to be seen. Chills crept up Usagi's spine,
her body trembling with confusion and fear. What was going on? Usagi
looked down at her fist and licked her lips, her stomach turning itself
in knots of nervousness.
Slowly, she uncurled her palm and gazed upon what rested there with
disbelief in her eyes and a shaking hand. Floating mere centimeters
above her palm, a heart-shaped ball of golden power pulsed with life.
And as she watched the golden energy faded to black and crumbled,
becoming ashes in the breeze.
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