It was the best of walks; it was the worst of walks. The elation that Ami had felt upon leaving Makoto buoyed her steps for most of the way home. Eventually, though, the weight of what faced her drained away most of that joy. Over the past day or so, she'd imagined a hundred different ways this conversation could go. In very few of those scenarios had she emerged unscathed. Ami tried in vain, as she approached her condo building, to recall the last time she'd had a significant argument with her mother. True, there had been some words exchanged concerning her schedule earlier this year, but even that couldn't rightly be called a 'fight'. At best, it had been a 'heated debate.' 'Is it strange that I can't recall ever really fighting with my mother?' Ami wondered. She knew that her friends fought with their parents. Rei's squabbles with her grandfather had been legendary, but even a year or two removed from his death, Ami knew that Rei still mourned him deeply. Usagi's mother yelled at her constantly about her grades, and her father's views on her dating such an older boy were well-established, but they remained very close to one another, even with Usagi now living at school. Ami knew from her psychology classes that the open airing of disagreements and conflict led to much healthier relationships. Odd that she'd never applied that factoid to her own life. All in all, Ami had a great deal of respect for her mother. She knew it could not have been easy to raise a daughter alone, especially while maintaining a profession as demanding as 'doctor.' She knew her mother was a very well-respected member of the Tokyo medical community. For as long as she could remember, Ami had simply assumed that she wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps. So, why was she questioning this now? When she was perfectly honest with herself, Ami realized that there were other things she enjoyed much more than her pre-med classes. Oh, those classes were interesting, of course. Ami had always loved science, but she also loved math and history and literature. What she got the most satisfaction from, however, was helping teach and tutor her friends. Her arrival home interrupted Ami's train of thought. After a brief pause to clear her mind and gather her wits, Ami entered the elevator. She used the journey between floors to remind herself of why she was doing this. The feel of Makoto, her taste, her scent, the sound of her voice, the vision of her waving goodbye, all lingered and gave Ami strength and added resolve. 'I am twenty years old. I have fought evil and saved the world times too numerous to count. I have been to the other side and back on at least two occasions. I can deal with my mother!' she reminded herself. Hoping she'd find her mother home (how anti- climatic would it have been if her mother had been at work instead of at home!), Ami went inside. "Mother, are you home?" she called, slipping her boots off and placing them neatly in the cubby by the door. "Ami? Is that you?" her mother responded from the study. Soon, she emerged with a medical journal in one hand and her reading glasses in the other. "Ami, did you forget that you have an appointment at 1:00? You'll be late." Taking a deep breath, Ami moved to the living room and took a seat on the couch, folding her hands neatly on her lap. "I cancelled the appointment, mother." Dr. Mizuno lifted one eyebrow and calmly laid her book and glasses on a small table. Eyes focused on her daughter, she glided to the chair opposite the couch and sat down. "Ami, do I understand you to mean that you took it upon yourself to cancel an appointment that I set up for you? An appointment for which I had to pull many strings? I trust you have a good explanation..." "I don't need to see a psychiatrist, mother," Ami explained quietly. "I don't believe that that was for you to decide," Dr. Mizuno replied, her voice raising slightly. "I understand that you are entering a difficult period in a young woman's life. Therefore, you cannot expect to know when you might or might not need assistance navigating the turbulent waters around you. It is my job, as your mother..." "It is your job as my mother to listen to me for once!" Ami shouted. Dr. Mizuno went pale and shrank back into her chair, scowling in frustrated confusion. "Did it ever occur to ask me about whatever it is you think I am going through? Did it ever occur to you that maybe, instead of sending me to some doctor, that perhaps you could come to me directly?" Ami went on. She could feel the years of pent-up emotion bubbling to the surface and she struggled to maintain control, afraid of what she might say or do if she let it all out at once. Dr. Mizuno gathered herself and sat up rigidly. "Ami, this is no way to speak to your mother. You know that, as your mother, I am your best friend and, therefore, you can come to me with any difficulties. I assumed..." "You assumed that I am having difficulties in the first place," Ami retorted, trying to moderate her tone. "I am not having any problems, mother. I do not need counseling for any reason." "Are you going to deny that you have been getting involved in an...atypical... way with this Kino Makoto person?" "What if I were, mother? Surely, as a doctor, you must understand that there is nothing inherently wrong or unnatural about such things," Ami pleaded. "That is not the point, young lady! Don't you dare presume to lecture me about what I should or should not know!" Now it was Dr. Mizuno's turn to lose her temper. "I have turned a blind eye to the amount of time you have spent with that girl and your other friends, time that could have been better spent accelerating your studies or participating in more extracurricular activities. Even though I had my concerns about the impact this would have on your future, I acquiesced because of my great love for you and this is the result!" "You allowed me to have friends?" Ami sputtered disbelievingly. "How dare you!" "Mizuno Ami! You are stepping over the line! I am your mother and I will be respected and obeyed. You have a brilliant future ahead of you and I will not see it thrown away in a wash of teenage lust and short-sightedness." "In case you haven't noticed, mother," Ami replied in a cold tone, "I am twenty years old and thus no longer a teenager. My relationship, no matter what form it takes, with Kino Makoto or anyone else is my concern and not yours." "No, young lady, you forget yourself. You live under my roof. I pay for your clothes, your food, your schooling. I gave birth to you and thus your life is always my concern." Dr. Mizuno declared firmly. Ami paused. This was not going well. Anger would only beget anger and nothing good could come of that. Hard as it was to remember, Ami did know that her mother loved her and wanted the best for her. She just had a horrible way of expressing those feelings. "Mother, exactly what is the nature of your concern?" Ami asked in as polite a way as she could manage. "As always," Dr. Mizuno answered, somewhat smug in her assumption that she had prevailed, "my concern is your future." "And what is that future, mother?" "You have a brilliant mind and you have it in you to become the premier medical practitioner in the Pacific Rim. That is the goal to which you have been pointed since your childhood and I will not see it thwarted now that you are so close." "But mother, did you ever ask me what I wanted to do with my life?" "Of course. Being a doctor was entirely your idea," Dr. Mizuno declared. "When I was eight years old. Things change. People change." As she spoke, Ami could feel a great weight rising from her chest, a weight that had been in place so long, she had never even realized it was there until it was gone. "What are you implying?" Dr. Mizuno asked, stunned at what she was hearing. What had this Kino girl done to her daughter? "Mother, I don't want to be a doctor. While I am interested in medicine, there is something else I enjoy more, something else I think I could excel in and contribute to society in." It was all so clear now. How could Ami have missed this for so long. "And what, may I ask, is this wonderful alternative to medicine?" Dr. Mizuno's voice dripped with sarcasm. "I want to be a teacher," Ami told her simply. Dr. Mizuno barked a short laugh. "A teacher?! Do you have any idea what kind of paltry salary teachers make?" Ami looked appalled, so much so that Dr. Mizuno actually felt a surge of remorse at what she'd said. "I can't believe you would say such a thing. How could you disparage something like teaching?" "Oh Ami, that may have been a bit unfair of me, but seriously, you have such a wonderful mind. Can't you see that that would be a waste of your talent?" "I fail to understand how teaching would be a waste of my talents," Ami stated pointedly. "It's that Kino girl, isn't it? She's twisted your mind against me and put these ideas into your head." Dr. Mizuno surmised. "No, mother," Ami said, her anger dissipating rapidly. Despite the lengthy 'QT' reports, it was clear to her that her mother had entirely lost touch with her life, and Ami was willing to take some share of blame for that. "None of this has anything to do with her. I think I've known for some time that I preferred teaching. I am sorry to disappoint you, but it is my life and I think it is time I started living it for me, not for you." "What do you mean by that!" Dr. Mizuno shouted, enraged by the calm pity which she saw on her daughter's face. "How dare you imply that I am trying to live your life for you! I am simply watching out for your best interests, like any mother should." "So, if I told you that I loved Kino Makoto, that I don't care what society thinks about such things, that she loves me and treats me well and that I am incredibly happy with her, then you would be happy for me?" Dr. Mizuno fell back into her chair, stunned by this and unable to formulate a response. "You can't be serious." "But I am, mother. I've never been more serious about anything in my life. I love her. And she loves me. I hope you can be happy for me, but nothing you can say or do will change those facts." Dr. Mizuno paused before responding. This was almost too much to handle, all at once, but while she was not quite the genius her daughter was, she was certainly not stupid. She could process things quickly when necessary. Clearly, there had been some sort of disconnect between her and her daughter. The Ami she knew wanted to be a doctor, not a teacher. The Ami she knew was certainly not a lesbian. But, as she considered the matter, the Ami she knew had never really expressed any interest in boys either. Apparently, the Ami she knew was not the Ami sitting before her. How could such a thing have happened? True, she did spend a lot of time working, a lot of time away from home. Dr. Mizuno tried to remember the last time she and her daughter had spent some time together, other than their scheduled quality time. When she found herself unable to recall, she felt as if someone had stabbed her in the stomach. "I'm sorry, mother," Ami said gently, seeing the confusion and pain on her mother's face. "I know this is a lot to deal with all at once. I think we both have found it too easy to see what we wanted to see, instead of trying to see things for how they are." Dr. Mizuno nodded tentatively, still unsure of how to respond to all of this. Despite the growing sense that perhaps she'd made some mistakes in her parenting techniques, she still remained concerned about the paths her daughter's life was taking. Young love could be quite blinding and, smart as she was, Ami could not fully comprehend the full ramifications behind her choice of lifestyle, or career for that matter. Thinking back to her own youth, though, she realized that, more than anything, the main driving force in her relationship with Ami's father had been her own parents' attempt to forbid it. "I cannot say that I am happy with these things, Ami," Dr. Mizuno admitted finally. "I am ready to concede that perhaps I have not spent the kind of time I should have as part of your life. However, that does not mean that I approve of these decisions you seem so intent on making. You are right about one thing, though." Ami blinked back some tears. Now that the anger had passed, the torrent of released emotions had shifted to sadness. While a part of her was proud of the way she'd stood up to her mother, there remained a small piece of her who wanted nothing more than to crawl up into her mommy's arms and be told that everything would be all right. "I cannot live your life for you and I cannot prevent you from making choices, or mistakes," Dr. Mizuno continued. "I would request that you continue to keep your academic options open, by taking both pre-med and education courses. I will understand if you wish to curtail your computer studies and other activities to allow for such a course load. I am also going to reserve judgment about the other matter." She sighed deeply. "I know all too well that I cannot prevent you from seeing her, nor change your feelings for her simply by lecturing you. I hope you will consider thoroughly just exactly what such a relationship means, for both of you, before you become too attached." 'At least she won't get pregnant,' Dr. Mizuno rationalized, trying to find some good in all of this. Ami smiled and hesitantly stood up, shuffling forward toward her mother. Ami had never seen her mother looking so very tired, hunched over with her eyes closed. To Ami's amazement, she saw her mother's hands rise to the sides of her head, a gesture she herself got teased about incessantly by her friends. Dr. Mizuno opened her eyes as Ami knelt down before her. Her daughter suddenly looked so old, so mature, but behind her look of concern Dr. Mizuno could still see the baby uncertainly wobbling on two feet for the first time, the toddler proudly demonstrating how she could now put on her shirt all by herself, the young girl excitedly relating the events of her first day at school or crying because someone had called her names at lunch. Gently, Ami laid her head in her mother's lap and Dr. Mizuno placed her hands around her daughter's shoulders. "I love you, mom," Ami whispered. "I love you too, Ami," Dr. Mizuno replied.
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